The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

Please be aware, my talents are limited and simply put, reviewing ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ without revealing everything is beyond me. So I hereby provide this very, very important disclaimer.

If you haven’t seen ‘The Dark Knight Rises’, the film will be spoiled for you if read this review.

Now that I’ve protected myself with the official, ironclad online statute of ‘Don’t come crying to me if you ignore my warnings’, on with the review.

A Droid Premiere: Snow White and the Huntsman (2012)

As a word of warning, there is no way that I can properly review this film without talking about the story in detail. I usually don’t like to do this for films under the A Droid Premiere banner, because I know that most of us haven’t seen them. But this film is a little different. There are the makings of a brilliant film here, but there are a few reasons why it is not. In lieu of a “It was good, but it has problems.” non-committal review, I deemed it necessary to reveal a substantial amount of the story. Now I leave it in your capable hands to decide if that matters or not. I suspect most won’t care, but I provide this disclaimer in the name of covering my ass. Read on.

Just Pillow Talk v Marvel Comics 12. The Fantastic 4

He’s hitting the dregs in this series now. Having waded through some serious poop in the form of Ghost Rider (you are aware JPT that the new one is out soon, and it’s your birthday! Not to mention that it’s directed by the two Crank monkeys, you lucky dog), Elektra et al, but it is now time for the Fantastic 4 to gangbang his fragile little mind into submission. Personally, I think he passed that point roughly at That Darn Cat in his ill-fated Birthday Series, but it looks like I could be wrong. So, with no more dull preamble from me, here’s Just Pillow Talk with the first of his less-than-Fantastic 4 reviews. 

Made in Britain: The Woman in Black

One of Aesop’s most famous fables has the moral that familiarity breeds contempt. In my case, I genuinely think I hit this point with this new Hammer Horror adaptation of Susan Hill’s The Woman in Black. If there’s one ghost story out there that I know inside and out, then this one is it- I’ve read the book, seen the BBC adaptation, and seen it twice at the Fortune Theatre in the West End, where it is now one of London’s longest running plays. However, Mrs. Jarv had never seen it, and the trailer piqued her interest enough, being as the supernatural chiller is probably her favourite genre in horror, to put aside her instinctive dislike of all things Hammer. So what with it being Valentine’s Day yesterday, was there a more fitting option than to go to the nice cinema with the comfy sofa and table service to hopefully score a few cheap scares? 

Made in Britain Special: Book to Movie- The Cement Garden

Before I start, I’d like to thank Xi for the use of his excellent Book to Movie idea. Given the content of this mega-review, I’ll return it only slightly soiled.

Ian McEwan’s novella The Cement Garden was a novel that I read at school, and stuck with me for much longer afterwards. A haunting dreamlike novel, with a consummately unreliable narrator, it is both celebrated and reviled in equal measure. Having said that, I never for the life of me thought that anyone would be nuts enough, given it’s intensely controversial subject matter, to even attempt to adapt it for the screen. Yet in 1993 Andrew Birkin (remember that last name, it’ll be important later) took a stab at it, and turned in a haunting, lyrical, sombre little film that wasn’t afraid to look at the inherent unpleasantness of the novel’s plot.

OK, here we go. Buckle up, this one’s stormy.

Droid defines the Decades Best Films – #1 Adaptation (2002)

Just Pillow Talk v Marvel Comics Number 9: Iron Man

I had all intentions of reviewing Wolverine next, but Netflix had other ideas and sent me a cracked disc. So I went to my fall back plan (not Howard the Duck) and threw in Iron Man. This movie really falls under a ‘comfort’ movie for me. I consider it a reliable Marvel movie, one that is quite solid for the first ¾ of the movie, but then loses a bit of momentum for the finale. The problem isn’t the special effects in the finale, but rather the scope of it. The battle between Stark and Stane is okay if that were the first fight. But for the final battle, it’s lacking.

The World According to Arnie: The Running Man (1987)

There have been an awful lot of adaptations of Stephen King’s work. According to the internets, not counting short films or episodes of a TV show (such as the X-Files), the number sits at 62. And counting. There is a pretty even split across Film and Television, with some even doubling up, such as Carrie and The Shining. Most of them remain unseen by me (something that is unlikely to change in the future), but the one’s I have seen tend to fall in either one of two categories. Brilliant or Terrible. There seems to be no middle ground with Stephen King.

The Birthday Series – Babe (1995)

I’m reviewing a film that was released on or around August 2^nd, counting back until 1978. Here is 1995.

The Birthday Series – The Iron Giant (1999)

Resulting from an ill-advised decision to count down to my birthday by reviewing a film released on or around August 2^nd for every year of my life, I give you 1999.