Burt Gummer’s Rec Room February 2012 Archive

A gathering place for firearms enthusiasts, paranoid survivalists and those who worship at the Church of Chang 

February, the coldest month of the year. Graboid Breedin’ season, and I’m not standing for it. Not when I’ve got enough weaponry to hold the old homestead almost indefinitely.

Disclaimer: This is the part of the Church that is the most no holds barred. None of it is intended with malice, and although it can on occasion seem a little bit fraught, it is banter rather than venom. So, be warned that this is like taking a naked swim in a piranha tank and not recommended for the faint of heart.

1,803 responses to “Burt Gummer’s Rec Room February 2012 Archive”

  1. Bartleby says :

    and a random addition to your mad scientist list, Jarv: Dr. Mittenhand from Lep in Space.

    • Jarv says :

      Yes!

      Nice one. Up to 6 without rewatching. I bet I can do this this week.

      • Bartleby says :

        no Anton Arcane from Swamp Thing?

      • Jarv says :

        He’s not so much a mad scientist as a gun running douchenozzle.

      • Bartleby says :

        hmm… he totally was a mad scientist in the comic books… doesn’t he turn into some kind of pig monster at the end of the movie? I haven’t seen either movie in awhile…he was definitely a mad scientist in the sequel, making all kinds of monsters.

      • Jarv says :

        He’s not really in the first film. Although he does turn into some kind of pigman.

        Rationale for the ones picked:

        West- too many reasons to go into here, but his speech at the end of Bride is a superb piece of mad scientist writing. Also, he infernally doodles.

        Frankenstein- definitive mad scientist. Completely unaware of the law of unintended consequences and prone to epic fuckuppery.

        Jekyll- as with Victor above, but I’m going for Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde, because when he wakes up as a woman, the first thing he does is spend some time playing with his own tits.

        Strangelove is obvious

        Pretorious is a complete fruit loop, but comes with added S & M tendencies

        Mittenhand- trying to rewrite genetics. Half Dalek. Transformed into Mittenschpider.

        As you can see, there’s a fair degree of fuckuppery involved in 5 of these so far. I did think about the guy in Vampire Girl v Frankenstein Girl because a)He’s barking mad, b)he’s a right pervert and c)his messing around with body parts doesn’t work, but it’s too obscure.

  2. Bartleby says :

    or Gregory Peck from Boys from Brazil?

  3. kloipy says :

    Dr. James Xavier from X: The Man with X-ray eyes.

  4. Bartleby says :

    Banderas’ doctor in the new Almodovar is a right nutter…

  5. Bartleby says :

    also, I think your experiment working doesn’t make you not a mad scientist..it’s the goal, aim, purpose of your experiment…

    I say Brundle counts because he goes mad, but no, he doesn’t start that way…

    • Jarv says :

      also, I think your experiment working doesn’t make you not a mad scientist..it’s the goal, aim, purpose of your experiment…

      Good point. Actually. There’s got to be an element of playing god/ destroying the world in there as well. West/ Frankenstein/ Jekyll/ Mittenhand are all playing god to a greater or lesser extent.

      Not to mention that they all have to basically do something “wrong” to further the experiment. So you’ve got Jekyll and Frankenstein body snatching, West arseholing around with parts and so forth.

  6. Bartleby says :

    I said it yesterday, but will restate…Diane Ladd’s nutball scientist from Carnosaur (unless you haven’t seen it) where she’s created dinos, but instead of making a theme park, uses a virus to impregnate human women with dinosaurs so the world can revert back to dino control…

    And it gives you a female nutty scientist..

    • kloipy says :

      Hahahaha! I loved Carnosaur when I was a kid. I forgot about that

    • Jarv says :

      I desperately need to watch that.

      Also, the flaming nutjob from Bats! can have a place:

      “COME TO ME MY CHILDREN!!!”

      Nuttier than an almond tree? Check.
      Insane megalomania? Check
      Tinkering with mother nature? Check
      Disastrous consequences? Check
      Doesn’t care about results? Check.

      • Bartleby says :

        if you are inept, does that give you a pass? or comedic? hence no dr. evil or dr. gangrene?

        I mean Gangrene makes tomatoes that look like women so they can infitrate the human race. does it get worse than that.

        Is Saffron Burrows a mad scientist for making smart sharks, or is she too cute?

      • Jarv says :

        I desperately need to rewatch Attack of the Killer Tomatoes for that reason.

        Burrows isn’t nuts.

        Comedic is a no dice. Dr. Evil is a spoof Bond Villain so I’m not including him. I don’t really want to go down the Bond route.

      • Droid says :

        I mentioned her, but she fails the bonkers test.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s a shame actually, because she passes pretty much every other one:

        Messing with mother nature/ playing god? Yes
        Silly big speech about the good she’s doing? Yes
        Arrogant? Yes

        and so forth. But she’s clearly sane.

      • Droid says :

        She’s too earnest and her intentions are for too good a cause. If she was experimenting on humans then yes, but no one really cares about experimenting on sharks. Sharks are bastards.

        Speaking of experimenting on humans, Gene Hackman was a scientist trying to cure cancer by experimenting on bums in Extreme Measures. Of course, that had a miscast Hugh Grant and wasn’t a very good film as I recall.

      • Droid says :

        That’s Gene Hackman was a scientist trying to cure cancer by experimenting on homeless people in Extreme Measures.

        He wasn’t trying to cure cancer by experimenting on bottoms.

      • Droid says :

        Was Casanova Frankenstein a scientist? If you can get him on the list, do so. He’s awesome.

      • Bartleby says :

        yes, but making a shark smart seems like too dangerous an idea for anyone sane to do it…but of course I get why the line is drawn…it;’s down to how she’s portrayed too…she comes out of her delusion too early, and she’s seemingly unaware that these side effects exist.

  7. kloipy says :

    The Kids from The Explorers. I mean they did build a spaceship that they found the blueprints for in their shared dreams. Also they did go to space and meet rock n roll aliens

    • Jarv says :

      I thought about Dr. Prospero from Forbidden Planet. He’s being tormented by his own Id in the form of Caliban after a disastrous experiment on his own psyche.

      • Bartleby says :

        yes, Forbidden Planet…but you are back to the Nemo conundrum… they are both mad, but either tragic or the anti-heroes…

        Now that nutjob played by Maximillian Schell in Black Hole–mad scientist.

    • Bartleby says :

      ok, I really want to find one that has a female mad scientist… too bad that in the heyday of the mad scientist–circa 40s through 60s–Hollywood didnt think women could do science.

  8. Droid says :

    This is prompted by absolutely nothing but a horrible flashback, but I now recall I saw a bit of that My Super Ex-Girlfriend movie on TV a few weeks ago.

    I’d strongly consider that for one of the worst movies ever made.

  9. Toadkillerdog says :

    Steve Martin – the man with two brains!
    There was also a movie from the 70’s about a man with two heads, had to be some mad scientist behind that one

  10. Toadkillerdog says :

    Ha! Dr. Morbius from Forbidden Planet!
    He was not exactly a mad scientist, but he was warped by the Krell machine

  11. Toadkillerdog says :

    Jarv,
    I am having a deveel of a time responding to any comments here today, so I will have to try later if i am able.

  12. Bartleby says :

    So is Dr. Schrieber disregarded because he is ultimately opportunistically ‘good’? Seems he’s absolutely crazy, and he’s got no gurantee that someone would come along and undo the Strangers, so he helps mount an experiment that sells out the whole of humanity (those in the city anyway) by partnering with the aliens, with no gurantee it’s going to work out. And if he wasnt crazy before the Strangers got him, he’s batshit afterwards–just happens to still be canny enough to help destroy them.

    He’s not exactly the textbook example, but he hits every checkbox.

  13. Bartleby says :

    Dr. Lizardo from Buckaroo Banzai?

  14. Droid says :

    Jesus. India chased 3-321 off 36.4 against Sri Lanka. Could’ve ended up with 450+ if they went the full 50.

    • Jarv says :

      Wow.

      That’s going some.

      • Jarv says :

        This may explain it:

        If India were insipid with their bowling, Sri Lanka were far worse, as wides flowed, gift balls were doled out with regularity and the fielding buckled under the pressure of an unexpected fightback. Both innings were replete with fumbles, misfields, wayward throws – one of them, had it been on target, could have run Kohli out – making batting even more profitable on the easiest track in the series thus far. The brisk start to the chase and the subsequent consolidation by Gambhir and Kohli meant India were in with a fighting chance with two Powerplays still remaining, and both proved highly lucrative.

        That’s why I think both these teams are utterly two bob.

    • Droid says :

      The offences coincided with the launch of Wuthering Heights which saw Howson combine unsuccessful hunting for more film work on a £34-a-week jobseeker’s allowance with engagements at the Venice film festival and other such gatherings.

      Paid £7,800 for his work, which won critical approval, he was upset to discover on seeing the film that his voice had been dubbed.

      Sad.

  15. koutchboom says :

    You know what’s also an interesting choice? Dr. Susan McCallister.

  16. Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

    Watched 3 films on Saturday.

    A Christmas Carol (2009). Yup, them dead eyes are might distracting. Its one of my favourite stories, so I thought I would finally get round to watching the Jim Carrey multi mo-cap version. A bit of a failure, to be honest. Which is a shame, because when you are not looking at someones face, it is a beautiful film. Some wonderful aerial shots and sweeping vistas. Then it grinds to a halt with these hideously deformed humans, and their crazy dead eyes.

    Also, how the hell did Zemeckis shoehorn a TWO totally pointless chase scenes into this story? I know the story so well, that it was jarring when some phantom horse starts chasing Carrey, who has now shrunk and has a high pitched Chipmunk voice (WTF?). And Gary Oldman breaking the forth wall, as a midget deformed Bob Cratchett talking to camera also stunk to high heaven.

    So uncanny valley aside, it is littered with poor directorial choices. 1/4

    Red Dog. Awwwwww! What a lovely film. It reminded me of how much I enjoyed Australian films. Especially good natured comedies, which they seem to excel in. A little episodic, but the heart is do big, I didnt care. Surely Koko the dog would have given that The Artist dog a run for his money for best canine Oscar of the year. 3/4

    The Devils Double. I really enjoyed this film. The central two performances from Dominic Cooper are stunning. Howard Stark from Captain America really is a good actor. A bit of googling shows that, in all likelyhood, based on a true story is not an accurate statement! lol. But as a what if, it is a pretty good film. The 3rd act is frankly silly, but the stellar performances in it made me forgive most of any shortcomings. And my googling also shows that the unhinged, spoilt, psychopath that was Uday Hussein, probably didnt deserve the charismatic performce Cooper did of him. Its probably a 1.5 film, but the direction, art direction, and indelible perfomance of Cooper gives it a 2.5 from me.

    • Droid says :

      Thought A Christmas Carol was okay. Motion capture doesn’t annoy me like it does everyone else. But you’re bang on about the phantom chase. Totally stinks.

      Koko FTW!!! Loved Red Dog.

      Haven’t seen TDD.

      • Jarv says :

        Not a fan of it. Mocap doesn’t do it for me, and I thought it was just a pretty bad film.

      • kloipy says :

        I actually really enjoyed Christmas Carol. All chase sequences aside, I like that they didn’t try to hip it up for a new generation. I thought it was actually kind of scary in the parts it is supposed to be and some of the animation I thought was pretty incredible.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah Christmas Carol is a mix bag. I think the biggest issue was tone, that is not a kids movie…but it’s not really an adult movie. So is it just some teen movie? It’s just fucking odd. Almost like he was going for horror but missed and it was all overblown. I don’t mind the dead eyes.

      • kloipy says :

        Koutch- that’s the thing though, it’s a story for everyone. There are horror elements which are true to the original story. It’s supposed to be horrific in those parts

      • Droid says :

        It has to be scary, because Scrooge is such a miserable cuss and has been for so long his experience has to terrify him into changing. Scared straight if you will.

        It’s a simple, but strong story.

      • Jarv says :

        Not really- it is more of a kids tale than anything else. Children’s stories have frequently had strong horror elements in it.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah I get that, it’s just odd. Because there are some kid moments in the movie. But the movie was too loud and dark for little kids.

      • Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

        I think you’re right about the tone, Koutch. The story is dark when it needs to be, which is why silly chipmuck Scrooge was so out of place.

        Also, the wonderful Mr Fezziwig scenes were very strange as they had the two fat Fezziwigs breaking the laws of gravity when they were dancing. Like in the Matrix when Neo manages to get more mid air kicks in than he should be able to do in the “I know kung fu” scene. It worked for Mr Anderson, but NOT for Mrs Fezziwig!

        The whole film is littered with little choices that dragged me out of the story. Which, for a story teller like Zemekis is unforgivable.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah because there’s no real reason for them to make it more adult oriented because most adults already have their favorite Christmas Carole movie that’s not going to be touched. And there are even good kid versions.

        Also I think Carrey’s accent was very over the top, did kids even understand half of what he was saying? I didn’t. The movie is a mess, an interesting mess though. I think Robert needed to go in a different direction and make something more family friendly before going toward Carole. Possibly waiting for Mo Cap to become more accepted by older people, which it probably never will before he made this, especially with how much it cost.

  17. Continentalop says :

    Mad scientist: the Abominable Dr. Phibes (not to be confused with the Abominable Snowcone).

  18. kloipy says :

    Has anyone here seen Welcome to Woop Woop? It a really weird movie about an american who goes into some strange town in the middle of Austrailia.

    • Droid says :

      I haven’t seen it. It’s Stephen Elliot isn’t it? The Priscilla director?

      • kloipy says :

        Yep that’s the one. it is really weird, not like his other films aren’t. I haven’t seen it in forever but it used to be on HBO 3 times a day

      • Droid says :

        One of his movies I liked (and I’m in a fan base of 1 on this I suspect) is Eye of the Beholder.

        I need to see that again. Haven’t seen it since it came out.

      • koutchboom says :

        Hehe yeah someone had to like that movie, even though it was #1.

        I liked The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. How can you not like that movie. I’ve been curious about Easy Virtue.

      • Jarv says :

        I quite like Frauds. I think I’m the only person in the world there, though.

      • Droid says :

        I fell asleep about 15 minutes into Easy Virtue. The ex finished watching it so I never bothered to try to finish it myself.

        I have almost entirely forgotten Priscilla.

      • koutchboom says :

        Hehehe between the three of us we are his biggest fans.

      • Jarv says :

        Possibly!

        Ha!

        Outtahere. Ciao.

      • Jarv says :

        Sonofabitch.

        I think Stagevu is down.

      • Bartleby says :

        Easy Virtue was a fun, undemanding movie. I liked it. I liked Frauds too actually. And of course Priscilla.

        Hated Eye of the Beholder but it felt very chopped apart when I saw it. That is the Ewan McGregor/Ashley Judd one right? Just didnt come together at all.

      • Droid says :

        Eye of the Beholder is a strange one. I think the fact that it did feel chopped is the reason I liked it. Like it was singing a song half a beat out of time with the music. I don’t know if it was intentional or if the producers just chopped the living shit out of it in a panic, but the way it was put together made it interesting to me. It created a kind of unease. I felt like I was watching something unusual. Of course I haven’t seen it in over 10 years, and if I can find it I’ll give it another watch. Maybe I’m just making shit up.

      • koutchboom says :

        Your just remembering the Judd boob.

    • Bartleby says :

      I sort of liked Woop Woop…Dont recall much about it though. Might be better than I remember.

  19. Bartleby says :

    K, I think you will enjoy Project X. It’s pretty decent for what it is.

  20. koutchboom says :

    YES!

  21. koutchboom says :

    Hey Droid, the newest season of White Collar ended last night.

  22. Jarv says :

    I’m thinking about reviewing Arkham City. Because it’s really good.

  23. Droid says :

    Holy shitballs this is a fucking awful poster. And why the name change for the UK?

    Avengers Assemble?

    • Droid says :

      Why have they called it Avengers Ssemble? Or is it Vengers Assemble?

      • Jarv says :

        Hehehehe

        Funny.

        Notice how they’re placing Downey front and centre. Wonder what they’re trying to sell the film on…

        It’s going to suck balls.

        Talking about funnybook heroes. I watched TDK again last night as I wasn’t allowed to play Arkham City when I got in. Spotted loads and loads of logic gaps in it that I didn’t notice before.

      • Droid says :

        Christ man, someone needs to confiscate that dvd. You watch that far too much to be healthy.

        Why does Hulk look 40 feet tall? What is the bow and arrow guy doing getting a clear hero shot when Crap is wedged in the back behind Thor? And who gives a shit what SLJ’s character name is?

        It’s a mess.

      • Jarv says :

        SLJ as Nick Fury is particularly bad because you lose the character name against the background.

      • Jarv says :

        Also, Downey is too big and it unbalances the image- not to mention that it makes it look like Iron Man 3 + a load of B-listers.

      • Droid says :

        Why do they need to sell this movie any further? They’ve already released five trailers for it.

      • Jarv says :

        Because it’s probably going to be a shambles and nobody really wants it.

    • koutchboom says :

      Yeah, thanks for the comment’s I worked hard on that poster, I’m glad my work is getting noticed.

    • koutchboom says :

      The biggest fuck up for the Avengers is the fucking villain…..aka WHO THE FUCK IS IT? WHAT IS IT? I’ve heard reports that it’s just the fucking ice people from Thor, but the whole thing going in was that it’s suppose to be the Skrulls. And they haven’t really shown? I’ve seen some screen grabs from the trailer where there are FLASHES of what seems to be the ice people….but if fucking Thor can beat a whole army of them on his own…why the fuck would they need to ssemble? Just fucking weird how shitty Marvel has treated it’s villain’s.

      • Bartleby says :

        Im sure its going to be the skrulls…albeit a different name. I wish I had enough interest to care either way.

        Using Loki is decent, he’s been the best villain that the Avenger characters have had thus far, but I agree that even he isn’t really up to representing a big enough threat.

        Im betting now that they kill off Hulk before the last reel of the movie.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        Just watched the trailer, it looks fantastic. I also love the fact that we do not know exactly who or what the villain is. Nothing wrong with keeping that under wraps – it builds suspense and anticipation.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well we know its Loki, he’s got some army with him. And he is an ice monster so it would make sense. I do like the NIN trailer.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        Dang you koutchboom *shaking fist in your general direction* I was hoping to remain spoiler free!

      • Bartleby says :

        except Loki attempted to contemptuously wipe out the trolls of Jotunheim completely at the end of Thor. They would need to do some narrative wiggling to explain their sudden allegiance to him, biological tie or not.

        And now that the trailer’s there, it’s clearly some form of invading race in a ship of sorts–the Jotun trolls were mostly lunk-head barbarians..

      • Bartleby says :

        koutch hasn’t given away anything that wasnt in the trailers… there’s a shot of Loki saying ‘I’ve got an army’. That’s all he means.

        And I am thinking skrulls based on the fact I saw a ship.

        Now, maybe I should have auithorized a Thor spoiler alert…sorry.

      • koutchboom says :

        Hehehe no one remembers how Thor ended, something about some battle on a rainbow.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        Bart,
        I was joking. I know that Loki is the advertised big bad. I truly did not know about the skrulls though *shaking fist in your general direction*

      • Bartleby says :

        Toad, I don’t know (specifically) about the skrulls either.. I just see that mega-ship and the hints at an invading alien race, and suspect the skrulls…who else could they be?

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        Makes the most sense Bart. There was a fantastic B&W magazine that came out in the 70’s that had an extended Avengers storyline set in the 60’s with the classic lineup including Hulk and they battled the Skrulls at the worlds fair in Queens. I remember the name of the skrull (?) woman Bereet – i think. Anyways she had a ship that could turn into af ace mask or headress or vice versa – been a helluva long time since i read that story.

        Skrulls make the most sense though – although Loki was the very first villain in the series. Could be both.

      • koutchboom says :

        Also a Skrulls invasion was Marvels last giant event that spanned all series.

      • koutchboom says :

        And was a pretty massive hit so I can see them banking off of that as well.

  24. TomBodet says :

    The new, extended trailer actually looks Good. I like the stuff w/ Ironing Man and the Bulk. I’m also easier on these then most of you (see my FF 1 nod) but whatever. These must be Skrulls(?) they’ve shoehorned into the plot? Baddoon? Man my 70s Marvel fanboy side is coming out. Oh well. Bring on Killraven.

  25. TomBodet says :

    Holy Crap Davy Jones is dead. Boooooooooooo. Always a fan of the Monkees just because. Yes I know. He was 66.

    • Toadkillerdog says :

      I am just now seeing this. That is a shame, I loved the Monkees as a child – drove my mother nuts singing their songs along with the batman theme. Although my favorite Monkee was Mickey, I still liked Davy Jones and even saw him and Mickey at a mini festival about ten years ago.

      • tombando says :

        Oh it was fun to hear them, I remember them first as a 6 year old on Sat morning tv repeats. Then Jones was on Scooby. Finally there was that great unexpected 1986 comeback, tour, hits cd etc that brought these guys back in a big way. From most accounts Jones was a good guy. Cheer up sleepy jean indeed.

  26. Continentalop says :

    Hmm instead of Skrulls maybe it’s the Kree. Sentries, Ronan the Accuser & Supreme Intelligence than.

    Or maybe Loki teams up with Hela or Surtur and they supply him an army. In other words, I have no fucking clue.

  27. Continentalop says :

    This season of the Ultimate Fighter should be interesting. One of the contestants used to act in gay porn.

    http://mobile.bloodyelbow.com/2012/2/28/2830596/ufc-gay-porn-dakota-cochrane-ultimate-fighter-tuf-fx

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