Archive by Author | Judge Droid

A Droid Premiere: Captain America: Civil War (2016)

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Last month, DC attempted to launch a franchise by pitting its two most famous and beloved superheroes against each other. ‘Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice’ turned out to be a bit of a mess. Some good things, and some not so good things. One of its biggest problems was that it felt overstuffed with characters and plot. Now, just a month later, Marvel is bringing us its own overstuffed movie that pits hero against hero. And while ‘Captain Himself: Fuck Everybody Else’ is just as long and just as loud as ‘Batman v Superman’, is it just as much of a mess? Let’s find out.

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A Droid Premiere: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)

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It feels like this movie has taken forever to get to the big screen. I vaguely remember Wolgang Petersen being attached at one point in the early 2000’s. This was before ‘Superman Returns’. Before ‘Batman Begins’. And then there was that Times Square billboard in ‘I Am Legend’, teasing the possibility that the two most famous superheroes of all time would one day go toe to toe for our viewing pleasure.
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A Droid Premiere: Triple 9 (2016)

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Surprise! Yes, it’s your old mate Droid here with a review of the new film ‘Triple 9’. Since it’s been a surprisingly long time since I wrote one of these, I expect it to be pretty terrible. So… par for the course, really.

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REVIEW – Guardians of the Galaxy: Space Camp

GotG_01By zombie_fatigue

Many thanks to zombie_fatigue for writing up this review of Marvel’s latest exercise in mediocrity (I say sight unseen). Cheers mate.

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A Droid Premiere: Robocop (2014)

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When sat down to I write this review a few days ago, it was with the intention of not focusing solely on the fact that this is a remake of a great film and a personal favourite. I tried to accept the film on its own merits and not to compare the two films. I finished a draft, but it felt a little unsatisfactory. Like I hadn’t looked properly at the film, and instead, glossed over the big issues. Anyway, what is written below is the same review, but draft two, which hopefully addresses some of these issues. It’s more critical, and it does directly compare the two films. A lot. But only because the remake forces me to. But I guess the important thing is that the rating hasn’t changed. There’s just more context to why I gave it that rating. Anyway…

{INSERT USUAL RANT ABOUT UNECESSARY REMAKES HERE}

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The Ashes 2013: The Oval

The Poms really are crap at celebrating. (The pic is actually from the first test,  but still, the point remains.)

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The Ashes 2013: Chester-le-Street

And then the English “summer” kicked in.

Old Trafford ended up a draw thanks to the rain, which denied Australia a deserved win that would have kept the series alive. Alas, it was not to be, and the Poms have retained the Ashes. But there’s still two tests to go, and the series can be tied up. This doesn’t mean much in the context of this series, but it would be a huge confidence boost to the Aussies in the return series beginning in November.

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Man of Steel (2013)

Man-of-Steel-PosterThe official ‘Man of Steel’ shopping guide:

1. A cushion. This movie is long.

2. Earplugs. This movie is loud.

3. A chastity belt for your eyes. This movie intends to do naughty things to your eyeballs.

4. Earmuffs. Earplugs won’t be enough. This movie is almost relentlessly LOUD.

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A Droid Premiere – Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)

a-droid-premiereI may be the last guy who should review a Star Trek movie. I’ve never seen an episode of any of the TV series, and I’ve only seen one pre-reboot film, which was called ‘Star Trek Generations’. I saw that borefest in the worst possible setting. A midnight movie marathon. So my first instinct is to leave a review of the latest Trek in the hands of someone more knowledgeable. Wolf, I’m looking at you. But having thought about it, I’ve decided that maybe I’m the best person to review the film. I’ll explain why in a second… Read More…