Burt Gummer’s Rec Room Summer 2010
A gathering place for firearms enthusiasts, paranoid survivalists and those who worship at the Church of Chang.
Disclaimer: This is the part of the Church that is the most no holds barred. None of it is intended with malice, and although it can on occasion seem a little bit fraught, it is banter rather than venom.
It’s the Summer, temperatures are rising, and there’s a big fucking worm coming through the wall. Luckily, there’s an Elephant gun to hand, and we’ve got no qualms about using it. Welcome to Perfection, Graboid.
I’ve seen both. Both outstanding
Never heard of the first one, reminds me of Papillon which was great.
Amores Perros is really good. Only movie from that guy that I’ve really liked.
Ask Conti how he feels about Babel.
Yeah, I got that Papillon vibe too. That was such a good movie that I saw for the first time last year.
Babel fucking sucked.
Its much better then Babel though. Its more like a gang movie if I recall. It’s worth checking out.
Sweet. That old flick sounded good, so I thought I’d give it a shot.
Fucking hell. England managed to turn a truly shit position into a good one. Three days left draw will win the series. Pakistan need England all out fast tomorrow then to bat like the clappers.
Yeah pillow if England doesn’t win out the toss and watch the overs they could find themselves in a wicked googly.
Shit, I had to look it up because it was driving me nuts.
That pic you put up in your Cop Out review Koutch, with Peter Weller and Sam Elliot….Shakedown.
I just remember Sam Elliot climbing up on the movie airplane at the end of the movie.
Peter Weller was a lawyer in it, right?
Hahahah I’ve never seen it but I really want to now. I just came across this photo some how and that it was awesome.
Shakedown has probably aged gracefully-it was on of the smarter 1980s action flicks. Plus everybody in it is at little baby ages.
ah Franklin-maybe this will cheer you up:
I’m not a huge fan of artificial lifeforms-which Montag has become, but… what the heck.
Hmm-just saw the trailer for 127 Hours-I’m actually quite excited. Having grown up here in oregon-I really came up against some wicked scenarios hiking around unprepared in the back country of Utah’s Canyonlands. That’s the northeast corner, but the whole state is extreme.
Anyhoo, it was running around there that I finally got hooked on “survivalism”-because those lands are gorgeous-but utterly deadly.
Yeah I’m pretty excited for that flick great cinematography.
hopefully a lot of people see it without forwarning of what happens to him
Fuck this guy they shouldn’t make a movie about massive retard that acted like a complete cum stain and headed out into some harsh country by himself. Motherfucker should have died for being such a cunt. Now I’m going to have to hear about the shit eating mongoloids “heroics” and “will to survive” In short fuck off loser.
Noooooo=Xiphos=that’s why it’s going to be comedy gold. The fucking douchebag has to cut his own arm off with a dull pocket knife. Because he was unprepared, he gets punished by God. And it’s Boyle=so you know it’s gonna be gruesome.
and not to defend the guy-I haven’t read about him in particular-but that part of the world-sometimes rocks just fucking fall on you.
I’m totally going to dig the scenery.
Oh and btw-that sean Penn “Into the Wilderness” Movie was pukey, saccharine, hippy bullshit. The book wasn’t nearly as hippy-dippy. That guy was a fucking idiot as well, but not nearly as bad a sportryed in the movie.
Survival shit is near and dear to my heart, but most of the media about it is utter hogwash.
Ooops-sorry Kloipy-really. hmmm dang edit button…where is it…I kind of take for granted that most people are all to familiar with the premise at this point.
You make a valid point that a typical “Into The Wilderness” hippy fan is going to be in for quite the surprise…mwhahahaha.
this is a crash that happened on the Lions Back in Moab. The gal is ok. But *this* is the kind of thing you see all over the Canyonlands. Nobody’s ever filmed the area to do the area justice-it’s hard to capture the scale…
ha ha-I’ve never been able to afford an Xterra-but I’m pretty damn sure if I did-I wouldn’t take it into Moab/Canyonlands.
maybe somebody should have told “Steve”:
HAHAHA that’s ok LB. I love the idea of someone going to this thinking ‘Hmmm. I liked Into the Wild, this should be fun”
Bronco that cock sucker put himself in the position to get trapped so fuck him in the ear. What is really chapping my ass is I know that they will spin this shitbird as some sort modern day mountain man or hero or some such BS instead of calling him what he is, a paste eating mongoloid.
Into The Wild don’t even get me started on THAT kid, he’s a complete and utter douche nozzle. Well written book about a shit heel I loathed but a fucking horrible movie. Danny and I had some real knock down drag out fights on fatburgh over that steamer.
No Xi-it’s cool-I’m not defending either them at all!
To be clear, infantry marine soldiers like yourself are the toughest survivors on the face of the planet-and I could really see you get torqued up by this kind of nonsense.
Also to be clear, I’d bet you that you are right-and “will to survive” and “heroics” are inevitably going to be bandied about by miscreants.
I’ve been working up for a couple of years to writing my exhaustive rumination on “Survival Media”- which has been all the rage since the economy has tanked stateside and blah blah as well as that idiotic “reality” show “Survivor”.
That said, that pain in the ass manifesto would clock in at something like 20 or 30 thousand words, so I keep blowing it off.
It’s actually a comedy piece-sort of.
The Into the Wild Kid (McCandless) was also a paste-eating mongoloid-no comebacks from me on that account.
Danny defending that guy/movie-well sometimes Danny is just a horse’s ass to cause problems and whatnot.
I am interested because I researched where 127 Hours takes place-and It’s about 30 miles away as the crow flies from where I came close to getting my ticket punched a couple times on a similarly stupid unplanned sojourn. (Druid Arch in the Needles Area of the main National Park)
And, I was about his age at the time or there abouts-so well, I’m a fucking idiot, as well.
You know, what we be funny would be you and me doing a live drunken talkback to one of these new-fangled survival shows they have here stateside-some of them are so piss-ignorantly stupid I’m quite sure it would end with you planting your foot in the middle of television screen.
They’ve been all the rage for the last 5 years or so on the cable channels here stateside US…Fucking ridiculous.
the best thing about the book was that Krakaur didn’t side with Cris Mccandles. You could tell that he didn’t hate him and somewhat admired his spirit, however it also seemed to me that he didn’t want to justify what he did, whereas the movie definitely idolized him.
Xi or LB did you read Into Thin Air, his other book about the one tragedy on Everest? He was actually there at the time, it’s a good read
also so since you guys are into the whole survivalist thing like I am, how do you feel about the Survivorman/Man Vs Wild
My opinion is Les Stroud is a true survival expert where as Bear Grylls is nothing more than bullshit entertainment.
Les may not be the best survivalist but he at least researches and tells you usefull information that you could use in a situation like that. He never puts himself at risk because it is stupid to do so in a place where you can die pretty easily. He seems to take it seriously
Whereas, ‘Bear’ does dumb shit that would get any normal person killed for the sake of ratings. I mean, he barely ever boils his water or cooks his food. He’s drank his own urine countless times (which can in some instances be helpful but not if you are already dehydrated because it’s all toxins), and he does dumb shit like climb down a waterfall which barely anyone but the most skilled climbers could do.
Kloipy I have read everything Krakauer has written he’s top drawer in my opinion(Read Under the Banner of Heaven for more proof) Into Thin Air backed up my long held suspcion that anybody who wants to clime Everest nowadays should be beaten to death before they start.
It was one thing to try before Edmund Hilary topped out, you know the indomitable will of the human spirit and what not but now? Now It’s all a bunch of nouveau riche dingle berries that want to “make their mark” Like earning millions of dollars isn’t leaving a mark.
I have never seen an episode of Survivor man or Man vs. Wild. I did however peruse the wiki entries for both hosts and that Bear Grylls guy his stinks like BS. There’s just too much. The early black belt in Shotokan, SAS(reserve), father Knighted and an MP, mothers family prominent in Scotland, Fucking ninjitsu? get the fuck out of here with that one. Plus a life long boy Scout? I don’t know he just sounds phony to me.
Let’s also be real here those shows are staged like any other “reality” show.
Into Thin Air is the tits. The current trend is sailing in suicidal tourists.
Stroud is the real deal and Ghrylls is a nancyboy.
No-he’s a good guy-I can’t go aggro-my Ranger buddy said he’s alright.
The husband and wife one is clearly the best.
Followed by dual survival-which is more fun.
Stroud almost got aced in his last season 2006-so he said fuck it.
He’s does promoes these days.
The last 2 new shows are fucking great.
That is all.
Xi- I’ll have to pick up Under the Banner of Heaven. I think he’s a very talented writer, and as I’m not one for a lot of non-fiction, but his stuff is compeling and written with an even hand. I’d reccomend Survivorman- you can watch it instantly on Netflix. He says from the beggining that his team is miles away but he can keep radio contact with them. But he films the thing himself and I actually believe him. He was doing it long before the show. Whereas Grylls seems to capatilize on the facisnation of eating bizarre shit and almost getting killed
LB- I no longer have the Discovery channel so I’ve missed seeing Dual Survival, but it looked good. Hopefully I can find it somewhere to watch. Stroud did a show for Canadian TV called Off the Grid where he and his family moved into a house they built off the grid and it’s pretty interesting.
I live pretty close to one of the AT stopping points in Boiling Springs PA, so I grew up hiking and such, and while the idea of living off the land is romantic and touches a deep part of me, the reality of doing it is something much harder and these days only a few people can really pull it off
Kloipy-Living Off the grid is like vegetarianism: You *should* do it, but it’s actually expensive as hell…
These days, it’s getting more possible than ever to live off the grid with renewable energy technologies-but you’d be building a cabin/house from scratch after transporting materials and then dropping another 100K on solar/wind generating systems plus the lovely batteries and whatnot.
I no longer have netflix, or I’d watch Survivorman again–it still gets repeated occasionally.
I think they are in chronological order-but there’s two episodes where Wes got in deep shit.
One was the plane in the Canadian wilderness, where he was simulating an injury for the shows sake-and he finally said fuck it-pull me out a day early.
The epic one is where he’s almost at the end of his stay in some semi-arctic thing and his crew calls him to say *they* were in trouble from a flash thaw stranding *them* 20 or 30 miles from help.
Stroud gets dissed by jackasses because he is low key and does things you should like stay the hell in one place when you aren’t sure what the safe next step is.
This doesn’t translate to compelling television-but hey oh well.
Anyway-I can go on and on about this stuff.
The new show called Man Woman Survival is a husband and wife team. Which sounds like a disaster, but the two of them aren’t actually annoying.
The guy doesn’t pull his punches because it’s his *wife*-so he ends being more like stroud than Ghrylls. He builds the shelter 12 feet off the ground instead of messing around for example.
Their show in the Amazon was the best jungle one I’ve seen-it really pointed out how bloody dangerous that jungle is just from the flora and fauna.
Oh and one last story-this one’s a funny one for Xi!
I was chatting with a guy who was on leave from a combat tour in Iraq. We were just sitting in the bar, and the guy was saying I don’t know what to do-I’m only off for a week (or two-whatever).
So I sit there and come up with the brilliant idea.
“You should go camping!” (It’s Oregon, etc).
He stops dead, and just looks at me and says, “*That’s* what I *do*” (over there, motherfucker).
italics not spoken-it was alright-but that was pretty dumb on my part-I think i bought him a beer-it was cool.
I frankly don’t get the whole Into the Wild thing—I saw a rather interesting documentary on it where they just followed this guys’ trail, interviewed people that the kid had known, etc.—basically he has zero biz being off in Denali eating squirrels and winding up dead like that. Didn’t make any sense.
Well here’s a Ghrylls vid for you all:
My Ranger buddy said to lay off-so no comments.
What was the point of that exercise by numb nuts? To show how slick a surface snow becomes and how dangerous it is? Point proven by two knob jobs. Kudos mouth breathers.
This movie looks cool
Tourist Trap from 79, anyone?
*sniggers* Celebrity Endorsements
OOps-here’s the linkie poo:
So boredom won out in the end. I barely made it through Cremaster Cycle 2, I think I was asleep more then I was awake. Seriously everyone else in the theater seemed enthralled. It was just a bunch of just fucking odd shots. Made we wish I was watching a shitty Lynch film instead. Like I can’t even begin to explain what happened. Some shit then a shot of a dick going into a vagina and it comes out and the tip of the penis looks like a bee hive? Then a lot of close up shots of shit then a cow boy/girl dancing (in and out of consious for the rest of it), then a slow moving shot over some random ass sculpture. I think parts 4-5 are the ones with at least some interesting shit and they were only 40 and 50 minutes. Part 2 was 70 minutes and part 3 is fucking 3 hours. Well at least I can say I gave it a shot.
Go ahead and just check out the trailer to get an idea about what the fuck this is.
wow, I think I would have to be on some major fucking drugs to sit through even 30 minutes of that
wow-looks like Harry potter meets Koyanasquatsi.
Utter prententious wankery just for wankeries sake (however you spell that)
and i quote wiki:
Barney has described the Cremaster cycle (1994–2002) as “a self-enclosed aesthetic system consisting of five films that explore processes of creation.” The cycle includes the films as well as photographs, drawings, sculptures, and installations the artist produced in conjunction with each episode. Its conceptual departure point is the male cremaster muscle, the primary function of which is to raise and lower the testes in response to temperature.
The project is filled with anatomical allusions to the position of the reproductive organs during the embryonic process of sexual differentiation: Cremaster 1 represents the most “ascended” or undifferentiated state, Cremaster 5 the most “descended” or differentiated.
ooohhh-well where the fuck is Megan Fox, then? I’m sure she’ll make an appearance in cycles 6-10-where hermaphrodism is speculated on visually…
So this fucking guy must be some spoiled New Yorker (trust fund kid). To waste that much celluoid on a speculation about gender assignment-Fuck he probably went to NYU and sucked down their entire student film production budget while working at Starbucks.
“Yes sir, double tall latte coming right up” (thinking smugly, inwardly :”My great film project is almost complete-then the world will see my true genius”.
Needs some Bale and Giant Lion Robots.
Great day’s cricket. Completely changed my plans for tomorrow and I no longer have to go to a fucking Walkabout
Oh-and this one ought to be taught in film school:
I’m color correcting my desktop background to teal and orange.
and dangit-Cracked is on a roll-I only do this once every 2 months-just reposting links from professional comedy sites is being *quite* lazy:
That’s okay, that’s what Harold does for a living now.
Well, I’m officially up to date with Mad Men. A bit ridiculous seeing as though I only started watching the first season a few weeks ago. Hard to get into, but addictive once you are.
Also watched MacGruber, which was pretty shitty. The three biggest laughs I got were simply three different shots of MacGruber screaming. Which pretty much says it all. I did like Kilmers demise though. That was amusing. But fucking hell, that Will Forte guy is annoying as fuck and simply not funny.
I liked MacGruber but I think Forte is funny. Also Ryan was pretty good in it. Better then Hot Fuzz.
So you just saw the episode where Sally Draper was learning how to double click her mouse then. That was really weird to see.
I don’t think Hot Fuzz was that great, but it’s miles better than MacGruber.
I kind of felt sorry for Philippe. There were so many scenes where it was obvious he had nothing to do, and just had to try to react to Forte and Wiig. Towards the end his role was a bit better, because he actually had something to do.
Naw it didn’t have those boring 20 minutes or so that Fuzz had. You didn’t enjoy the montage of heavies Forte rounds up then kills them all. Pure comic gold. Now time to watch Pitchmen.
No, I haven’t seen that. I just saw the one with the japanese and the daughter masturbating (sounds worse than it is people!). I guess I’m not 100% up to date then. An acquiring I shall go.
That would’ve been funnier if I hadn’t picked what was going to happen after the second guy. It was too obvious.
I agree about Hot Fuzz, in that it’s (at least) 20 minutes too long.
Nope Droid you’re current, that was last Sunday’s episode.
I thought Hot Fuzz was very good. More ‘structured’ than Shaun – that may have thrown a few folk off.
Don’t know what MacGrbuer is.
I think Hot Fuzz ended up too close to the genre they were taking the piss out of. And as I said, it was too long.
Isn’t it the whole point – to get as close as you can to the source?
But it ended up just mimicking action films, instead of satirizing them, and therefore pointless.
Hmmm… like Shaun was a zombie film, Hot Fuzz was a buddy-cop film. And both managed to send up each genre inoffensively.
There has to be mimicry, it’s inescapable. And mimicry can be satire. But in the case of Hot Fuzz, I don’t think it’s target was out-and-out satire. It’s a straight send-up.
I think HOt Fuzz is great, not as good as Shaun, but still funny as hell. I think the problem, for me, was that the ending gun fights didn’t live up to what I expected would be just off the wall crazy, but still I enjoyed the hell out of it
OK Im not up to date with mad men-I’m about 3 epis behind.
But i do have this “Don Draper Goes To College”
Which almost exactly about what I was like living in the freshman dorms at OSU.
Bronco were you glasses guy or backwards hat wearing goofball?
Christ on a crutch after watching that I’m glad I didn’t live on campus, shit like that would have sent me over the edge.
No Xi-I was Don Draper. No Shit-I have friends that were and are RAs on that campus and others now. They said I’m literally a legend-that they had only heard about me in rumours.
That said, I looked at those kids as legal adults, and treated them as such.
Up to lawsuits, busts, beatdowns and good firm talking tos.
I just wanted to be left alone, but they had to keep pushing.
I push back.
And if you are seriously out of line-I’ll spit in your goddamned parents face for raising such stupid kid, motherfucker.
Guess the little shit learned The Hard Way.
Ha Ha-i’ve been invited back by campus housing personally, btw! I did get a lot of positive things done.
I was my personal floor representative!!!
Also, I finished off Justified. Decent show, but I have to say I probably only kept watching because of my Olyphantitis affliction.
I agree with that Droid Justified is just an OK show that should have been better. I only stayed on becasue of Olyphant. It did perk up a bit the last couple of episodes but I’m not sure If I’m going to invest in season 2. Might watch a couple to see if it has improved any.
I think what it was for me, is that the seasons story didn’t amount to much in the end. It could’ve been told a lot quicker, but instead they filled it with eps like the one where the crim takes the prison guards hostage.
But yeah, I will check out the start of next season and go from there.
Yeah Justified was ok, one of the lesser FX shows. Even this seasons of Rehab Me was better and I’m pretty sick of that show needs to just fucking end with Leary putting a bullet in his head.
Looking forward to Terriers though could be interesting.
Louie was ok, though it seemed like a 15 minute show.
Well after four fucking hours I can report that the two Mesrine films basically suck hard ass.
Vincent Cassel needs to be given credit though, he did the best he could with the platter of dogshit he was presented with.
Any lesser actor and I wouldn’t have made it through the first hour.
Mike the French they will always disappoint you. It’s part and parcel of their weak genetics.
They need to stick to ze torture porn stuff.
The Belucci, Mikey…THE BELUCCI!!!!
Hey the French did give us A Prophet this year, so they aren’t totally useless.
Koutch, Jacques Audiard’s last film, The Beat That My Heart Skipped, was just as good if not better.
A rare Frenchman indeed.
So Conti it seems I was right about Coutre. He took Toney off the count in about a minute into the first round.
Neal marshall news:
Yeah Droid Sally Draper is Don’s Daughter.
Xi have you seen the trailer for 128 Hours? They make the guy look like a total douche. Doesn’t make it look like the situation he put himself in was some heroic incident, it makes it look like he was fucking around. I think it will be good and say what you will about the guy at the end of the day he cut his arm off and was smart about doing it. That’s pretty fucking crazy, douche or not I don’t think I could’ve done that.
No I haven’t and I wasn’t talking about the trailer.
Check it out, I don’t think they are going to Into The Wild it.
ah yes Bart/Jonah just let me know that my e-mail from lord firstname.lastname@example.org is spamming-which means it could be hitting any of you here or at AIBN.
I’m full system scanning as we speak-but with 4 machines-it may not be fixed immediately-I’ll let you guys know what i come up with.
sorry for the inconvenience-it has nothing to do with my new facebook-it’s something else.
this time it might actually be Apple’s fault…
ok-so i detected a couple of trojans (viruses)on my main production machine, and there’s always the possibilty that my Ipod got hacked. Short answer is that most of you on this forum, it’s not an issue because you have not recieved e-mail from my main account.
The trojans affect my primary system via means other than e-mail-so you guys should be fine.
it looks like most of the spams got detected before they were even delivered, and did not contain attachments.
uh, that’s enough tech talk-it shouldn’t be an issue.
This is why I made a new anonymous account for submissions and stuff, but what the heck…
MORE COOL POSTERS!!!
I think those are kickass-however-even a minimalist poster for Star Wars still says to your date-Nerd Burger.
Nice loving this Lost shut out on the Emmys!!!!
Also threepeat for Breaking Bad. Why aren’t any of you mother fuckers watching the only good show on the tele?
And Aaron Paul Emmy for best supporting actor.
There’s a bank holiday today right? that’s why there’s nobody to entertain me in the middle of the night?
So I guess it’ll be tumbleweeds all day today…
I agree with you up above on Into the Wild. I fucking hated the piece of shit kid. I wish the bear chopped his fucking balls off.
I have a huge fucking problem with suburban shit balls with a silver spoon wedged firmly in their mouth that had things handed to them all their life all of a sudden cast off the “chains” of their easy life and to “get back to the land” Mother fucker getting away from that is why people worked hard to make things like cell phones, computers and Tivo you ungrateful little shit. Fucking asshat I hate all those fucking posers.
I couldn’t have put it better myself.
Fucker dodging responsibilities, fucking disappearing on this family like that.
No-the guy giving away a $25,000 trust fund is what was *really* stupid. I could live off that for 10 years-easy.
Oh, and not outfitting yourself to tackle *fucking Alaska*–dumbshit.
Half the goddamned state is on the run from the law as is–oh yeah and there are fucking Grizzly Bears.
So I had a very good movie watching weekend.
Started off with Cypher, which was pretty good. I think it would have been even better if the chick was not played by Lucy Lui. She wasn’t awful, but I just can’t stand her.
Next up was Red Rock West, which I just loved. I liked the story, the acting, and the ending was really, perfect. It’s good to see the Cagester in a good movie.
Finally I watched Terribly Happy, which was a decent little movie. I was really, really tired when I had watched it, which is why I may not be giving it it’s just due. It had a good ending, and is worth a look.
Red Rocks West is a damn fine movie. I don’t think I’ve seen the others. time to check with IMDB
Both quality flicks.
I think I’ll have to watch some cheesy one tonight.
I can’t have that many good movies in a row.
Damn Xi where you been? I think we mention Cypher on average about 5 times a week. From the director of SPLICE!!! But it’s a good movie.
Ohhh thats Terribly Happy I kept thinking you were talking about that movie Happy-Go-Lucky about that chick thats just always happy.
Oh, I think he’s probably in the middle of doing other “stuff” that usually takes up a bit of his time.
Not like us knuckleheads here…
Well if Xi is behind then he should also rent The Rocket, so should you JPT. I’m trying to get everyone to watch that film before years end. It’s worth it. So for Echo and HOD have both really enjoyed it. I think Stuntcock liked it a lot as well.
Hah! No, it’s a wee bit different than that movie you just mentioned.
I think you should check it out Koutch.
Yeah I’ve had it in my Netflixs queue for some time.
Fucking hell. My last post, well didn’t post.
Attempt numero dos…
Just for you, I’ll move the Rocket up. I have Amores Perros coming tomorrow, then Couples Retreat for Mrs. Pillow (please don’t be *that* bad), then The Rocket.
Well if you pad Couples Retreat with Amores Perros and The Rocket before and after, it won’t be that bad of a blow.
Yup, always trying to make the good-bad-good sandwich, and have a beer with it and it’s made more bearable.
Saw The Other Guys and The Expendables for round two last night. The Expendables got even better and The Other Guys is a solid fucking buddy cop comedy. It does everything that Cop out did wrong, right. Also it goes for the blues saxephone buddy cop style of music rather then the synth stuff.
Will Ferrell and Adam Mckay are the only powerhouse director/actor team working since probably pre 1950. All four of their movies are good and Adam Mckay is a damn good director for it seemingly out of nowhere experience.
Hahahah he’s married to Jeremy Piven’s sister.
I’ve got your next gavatar picture:
This is a cool article from this site jonah hipped me to:
Frankie, have you seen this? Your beloved FF franchise is going to be…wait for it…GULP!….rebooted!!!!!!!
I wonder if this time out they’ll put in an effort to make it even minimally watchable?
That would go against everything that Frankie would stand for, so for his sake, let’s hope they churn out more anti-fun garbage.
Oh jesus-the shitty harry potter Director, The smoking aces dude and the Ninja Assassin dude…
And Fox studios keeps shooting for glory.
Fuck it-maybe that guy who made Cremaster is available.
In this version of FF-The thing is a sculpture that appears for only 25 minutes in the middle-voiced by Don Cheadle as he reads the New Jersey Yellow Pages.
Yep, I heard about that.
Those clueless douches!
They are missing out on a golden opportunity to make a third film in the series and have it revolve (hilariously) entirely around super powered fantasti-baby Franklin Richards. Not only does he have an awesome first name, but he can manipulate matter at a molecular level! I don’t really know what that means but it’s bound to be awesome.
This reboot business is terrible news.
Maybe they could cast somebody older than 40 to be Dr. Doom…He’s a dictator *and* a Doctor. med school takes forever to get through.
Maybe they could cast Tom Hardy-and we could have a bisexual Dr. Doom to go with our bisexual Mad max and bisexual James Bond.
Jeez-did I type that out loud?!?
And someone who appears to be menacing. That would help too.
Franklin-your getting your SH franchises mixed up: Proteus is the child of Scott summers and Jean grey who turns evil and can control molecules with bitchin’ art by John Byrne.
Oh and Dr. Doom should be hideously disfigured so much so that he has to wear an adamantium freaking mask to spare people from the insanity.
A mask which he never *takes off*. See he’s an evil dictator who dabbled in the occult or was genociding ethnic minorities or something, he faced gets messed up so bad, that even he being evil as deep space spares his minions the insanity.
Bronco actually you are incorrect about a few things.
1. Proteus isn’t Cyclops and Marvel Girl’s he Moira McTaggert’s progeny.
2. Franklin Richards is uber powerful one of the most powerful Mutants and characters in the Marvelverse, He might be the most powerful. I think he managed to reset reality in one of the approximately 1 billion retcons of the Marvel world.
3. I don’t know if they have changed this but Dr. Doom isn’t disfigured at all. Doom had a slight scar on his face, almost unnoticeable, but he’s so arrogant that he viewed it as a massive disfigurement. Since Marvel changes characters histories at a whim they might have changed that but the first time they unmasked Doom he was perfect physically.
4. Please excuse me I must go punch myself in the nuts repeatedly with a hammer for knowing all that.
Damn-Xi-you’ve been all around the world-Are all of your copies still in near mint? Didn’t know The Corps allowed room in rucksacks for X-Men issues!
Good call, btw-looks like you are keeping it together.
*administers falcon punch*
For those interested in my arduous climb up Nicolas Cage Mountain, I took down two more strays this weekend:
Windtalkers – Truly awful, even by John Woo standards. They made that film by mixing up cheese and boredom in a huge barrel, then pouring it all over Nicolas Cage’s head, much like the poop bucket scene in Black Book.
It’s a shame, because it seems like the story of the Navajo fighting in WWII deserves a better film than that.
Astro Boy – Maybe this is because my standards have been so brutally lowered by the other Cage films I’ve seen recently, but I kind of liked Astro Boy. Not half bad for a kiddy film, and funnier than I was expecting it to be. Also, any film about a character who has machine guns in his ass is alright by me.
Windtalkers was just on tv again this weekend, but somehow I avoided it pretty well.
You’re right though, that story deserved a better movie than that.
Poop bucket scene in Black book…we should use that as the rating system for movies.
I’ve never seen Astro Boy, and somehow I think I never will get to it.
Wind Talkers was an abomination of a movie . Total disgrace and an insult to men still alive.
Windtalkers was TERRIBLE. Oh lordie that sucked. I couldn’t believe how ham-handed, cliche ridden and downright Poopoo that one was. Egads. From the CGI Japanese Zero to the WWI trench warfare tactics (on Tarawa? say what-) to the ludicrous Cage acting….well….
I would have watched a CGI Giant Robot Lion (who speaks Navajo) version, instead.
Also seen: The Other Guys.
It feels weird to be saying this, but I’m in complete agreement with Koutchboom – it’s a solid fucking buddy cop comedy. And manages to be the film Cop Out failed so miserably at being.
I disagree with this statement, though:
In my opinion, they’re the greatest actor/director team OF ALL TIME. Martin Scorsese and Robert De Niro are like Adam McKay and Will Ferrell… but for pussies!
I’m shocked both of you liked The Other Guys so much.
After seeing the trailers, I had written it off as just another shit entry into the comedic trash of movies.
I guess it could be a rental down the line.
You have to bear in mind two things:
1) I’m a sucker for comedies.
B) I genuinely think Will Ferrell is a genius.
iii) I don’t have that jaded “All new comedies suck!!!1” attitude that’s so popular on the internet these days.
I realise that’s three things; but it’s been a very nice bank holiday weekend, I’m in an extremely good mood, and I’ll damn well include three things on a list of two things if I want!
well franklin-maybe this will cheer you up more:
There’s talk of Zoolander 2. The guys go to the Middle East-where a Sheik is turning models into oil!
More Zoolander can only be a good thing.
Yeah I’m down for more Zoolander. Stiller directing only though, dude is a fucking mad house, his films are complete packages its crazy to think about the effort he puts into comedies he directs compared to the movies he just shows up in.
like one of those idiot savants that can repeat the phone book verbatim?
You got a film of that? Cause I know I’d watch that You Tube video.
Should’ve stated that I meant comedic director/actor team. Nothing will top Klaus/Herzog.
Yeah the biggest surprise for me with The Other Guys is that its not all in the trailer. There is a lot more. I thought all the good bits would be in the trailer.
Going to watch The Human Centipede now.
Surely, it will be the perfect way to round off this very excellent weekend, and not in any way weird and strange and disturbing and fucked up or anything like that…
Wow. Cage fest to Human Centipede. OK If Franklin disappears this time-we *know* what happened!
Also surprised that I really enjoyed Clash of The Titans. Fun ass flick. Again not everything was totally given away in the trailer which was nice. It was just a lot of fun and really good sets and special effects and solid acting. Only really annoying part was Gemma’s character was pretty much a plot device to move the story forward easily.
Sure if you love greek myths and shit I bet it sucks. But I liked Greek myths but don’t know them by heart so i didn’t give a fuck about any of those changes in shit.
Hey I kinda liked it too-wasn’t much to it, mind-but enjoyable on a video-gameish level.
There was that one funny line-the archer dude enters Medusas lair, sees a frozen archer and says-that doesn’t look good-
Oh and finally, getting around to you guys-since Mikey and Abom drug me into a TB at Gingertown-those scoundrels:
The end of Western Civilization:
Insane Clown Posse’s new Western movie trailer:
To our good friends across the water on Bank Holiday who have never visited these great United States.
This is exactly, completely, and totally what our country is like.
Forget flying on the Concorde-you have now lived in our Awesome America as one of us, just by watching that trailer.
Okay, so I’ve seen The Human Centipede now, and it turns out it’s a half decent horror with some funny black humour in it. Not a film I would choose to watch again, but worth a look if you like the weirder side of horror, particularly Japanese stuff like that Takashi Miike fellow.
I think the most horrifying part was when the mad doctor used an overhead projector to explain what he was going to do to his victims. The thought of what was about to happen to those poor people was much worse than actually seeing it.
Yes, it’s pretty disgusting, but no more than something like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Certainly not worth some of the shrieking, asinine comments I’ve heard about how sick and filthy it is (or, worse still, that it’s TORTURE PORN! and should therefore be buried in the desert somewhere).
The Human Centipede is actually a similar kind of story to TCM – a group of people find themselves at the mercy of a deranged lunatic who’s going to do unspeakable things to them, but instead of getting chopped up and eaten, they’re going to get their mouths stitched to each others’ assholes.
P.S. One of the actresses in it is named Ashley Williams. That’s Bruce Campbell’s name in the Evil Dead films! I just thought I’d point that out for no particular reason.
Mr Marmoset took one for the team. I won’t be seeing this.
Nope, couldn’t pay me to watch that
If I had money, I bet you would watch that.
Paypal is International, you know.
Jarv’s friends and neighbors.
Okay, to continue the FF theme…now they are considering Walter B as Ben Grimm.
And there’s going to be a Clash of the Titans 2????
I’m one of the few who liked the first FF flick. It wasn’t Great, mind, played more like a pricey TV movie–but it was okay. What little I saw of the second was more of the same. Can’t see them bothering w/ a reboot unless they CGI Ben Grimm and set it in the Sixties. And make it actually mean something.
Also (semi) liked Clash of the Titans. But you wouldn’t get me to watch it again, nor a sequel unless there was a real script there.
Seems like Avatar 2 and 3 are on the way, so here are my ideas for what the sequels will be about.
Avatar 2: The evil, evil humans return to Pandora and either buy off the Navi with various shiny beads and whatnot or kill them with poisoned blankets. The remaining Navi live on reservations, open casinos, and develop terrible drinking problems. In the exciting third act climax, Neil Young teams up with the Dixie Chicks to do a benefit concert.
Avatar 3: This one goes all metatextual as a bigshot Hollywood director (James Cameron, playing himself) arrives on Pandora to make a blockbuster movie about the plight of the Navi. There is great consternation, however, once it is learned that the lead Navi character will be played by Human-American actor Lou Diamond Phillips. In the exciting third act climax, everyone gets all depressed and remembers when James Cameron used to make cool films like The Terminator and Aliens.
I was talking to Jim (Cameron) in the pub the other night and he says he’s thinking “underwater” for Avatar 2.
I’m up for another one (or two). Avatar was cool.
Since they’re going ahead with this Fantastic Four rebootmagining, here is the ideal cast:
Mr Fantastic: Bruce Campbell. That one’s obvious.
Sue Storm: No one. Just have her be invisible for the whole film. It would save paying an extra salary, plus I hear actresses are all a pain in the ass anyway.
Human Torch: Nicolas Cage. Has previous experience of being on fire for motion pictures.
The Thing: Warwick Davis. Because it would be funny.
Dr Doom: Will Ferrell. He would basically be playing Mugatu from Zoolander, but with a mask and lightning that shoots out his fingers.
Heh, I had actually suggested in a gingertown thread Warwick Davis as Doom.
You, sir, are clearly a genius.
Man Bruce about 50 pounds or more ago as Mr. Fantastic would actually be really good. The thing about FF though was that besides Alba they pretty much nailed the casting. That Mr. Fantastic dude could’ve been really good but he was too bland, same with Julian. I think he could’ve made an interesting Doom but he just redid his Nip/Tuck character. But Evans and Sheild nailed it. Alba was fine as well, Sue always bores me anyway so Jessica works with that role, just the contrast between her and Mr. Fantastic was jarring. Silver Surfer was really well done as well.
Though I wonder if you could ever make an amazing FF movie, most of their comics except for the CRAZY ASS ones read like made for TV films anyway. Incredables worked because they were allowed to keep everything cartoony and in that world. To it was easier to go overboard with everything. A really good FF movie would have to cost Avatar $’s. Plus Incredables didn’t already have set villians so they can make up their one, not stuck trying to redo the Marvel villians, which at this point I realize is truely the hard part in making a comic book movie. Since the villians are SO over the top and most of them are so crazy looking that it’s hard to ever recreate that look/feel outside of comics.
though you look at the Hellboy films and somehow they managed to make it work.
Just make it in space in that Kree-Skrull War thingies.
Negative Zone-Annihilus. No-the byrne run number 249/250-the alien superman smackdown. Oh wait that would take a budget…
I can remember some pretty good ones involving hmrmmm who was that guy…Psycho Man or whatever? One of King Kirby’s better baddies, lived in the sub-atomic world, etc. Kinda fun.
And Giant Robots. Include some of them.
Obviously, many of you will be rushing out to buy Radiance, the new perfume from Britney Spears, today.
But please also take the time to try one of the free testers for Lethargy, by Franklin T Marmoset.
Lethargy will give you the masculine musk of a guy who couldn’t be assed to shower this morning, with a subtle undercurrent of sandwiches and Diet Pepsi.
It will drive the ladies wild!
Hmmm…seems like we are going after the same market.
I’m introducing Pillowy (pretend its bold), which gives you bed head, an irritated morning nature, a hint of Guiness in the air, and the ability to drive like a maniac in morning traffic.
All for $19.95 (USD).
This movie is looking up!!!!
Not that safe for work.
Also I got my BTTF poster made last night. Still need to work on my erasing skills. I’m SloppySam on there.
Oh, no, Lance… What did you do? Nazi Dawn?
That looks quite poor.
seems like it’s about that time
Yup Archiving now.
when will it change, the page is too long!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH