The Return of Jarv’s Birthday Series- Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (2014)


I’d completely repressed the fact that we’d done these bloody birthday series, which come complete with the added bonus of only being stopped by the reviewers’ actual death. Anyhoo, as I’m still on the unemployment train, I thought I’d have a look to see what treasures 2012, 2013, 2014 and 2015 had left for me before my imminent birthday this year. So, having briefly perused Wikipedia, I was quite pleased to see a palatable list that I’ve already (for the most part) seen and, more importantly, didn’t hate. My provisional list is: Premium Rush, You’re Next, Sinister 2 and, for 2014 and today’s entry, Sin City: A Dame to Kill For. I’ll also update the scores for the first run through after I catch up with 2016’s entry.

Contains new material written especially for Werewolves on the Moon that isn’t as good as the material that has already been published in this series (heh) and spoilers below

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Made in Britain: High Rise


I like Ben Wheatley films. Hell,  I even gave the nod to Kill List for my film of the year, and I rated Down Terrace quite highly too. Unlike Droid, I even found something to like in Sightseers. However, I found A Field in England to be a risible load of art student toss, and I’ve got nothing good to say about it. Unfortunately, for me, I don’t like J. G. Ballard, believing him to be probably the most overrated author Britain’s produced in the last 100 years. So, it was with somewhat mixed feelings that I sat down to watch Wheatley’s adaptation of Ballard’s famously unfilmable High Rise- a movie that spent the better part of 30 years failing to make it to the screen.

Contains social commentary (groan) and spoilers below Read More…

Being a responsible parent: Bumper 6 months unemployed edition! Part 1- Animation


The only benefit of long-term unemployment is that I’ve been able to spend an awful lot of time with Finn while he’s growing up. Other than that, and I do not say this lightly, this has probably been the most miserable 7 (count ’em) months out of work that I’ve ever had. However, keeping a happy smile firmly plastered to my face, I’m going to look at the bright side in that I’ve managed to indoctrinate watch a lot of stuff with the little ‘un. So, here’s a brief round-up of some of the many films that we’ve sat through. Read More…

A Droid Premiere: Captain America: Civil War (2016)



Last month, DC attempted to launch a franchise by pitting its two most famous and beloved superheroes against each other. ‘Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice’ turned out to be a bit of a mess. Some good things, and some not so good things. One of its biggest problems was that it felt overstuffed with characters and plot. Now, just a month later, Marvel is bringing us its own overstuffed movie that pits hero against hero. And while ‘Captain Himself: Fuck Everybody Else’ is just as long and just as loud as ‘Batman v Superman’, is it just as much of a mess? Let’s find out.

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A Droid Premiere: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)


BvS DoJ Header

It feels like this movie has taken forever to get to the big screen. I vaguely remember Wolgang Petersen being attached at one point in the early 2000’s. This was before ‘Superman Returns’. Before ‘Batman Begins’. And then there was that Times Square billboard in ‘I Am Legend’, teasing the possibility that the two most famous superheroes of all time would one day go toe to toe for our viewing pleasure.
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A Droid Premiere: Triple 9 (2016)



Surprise! Yes, it’s your old mate Droid here with a review of the new film ‘Triple 9’. Since it’s been a surprisingly long time since I wrote one of these, I expect it to be pretty terrible. So… par for the course, really.

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What’s this? Burt is back in TREMORS 5!!!


I’m stunned that Tremors has now made it to 5 movies and a TV series. Stunned. Who would have thought the original Jaws in the desert premise could sustain a franchise of this duration- it’s almost 30 years old now, and still going strong. Sure, K-Bacs and Fred Ward abandoned ship long ago, but there’s one man that’s held on: Michael Gross has almost turned Burt Gummer into a cottage industry, and is still playing the grizzled survivalist and paranoid nutter, even he’s approaching Paul Kersey age.

Contains Daddy issues (ugh) and Spoilers below

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I usually avoid doing any reviews about movies chronicling the War on Terror since I’m right in the middle of it (and most of them suck). I’m too close to the subject matter for any sort of objectivity but this review isn’t going to be objective. It’s going to be pure emotion and stream of consciousness.

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Chrysalis (2008)


Director: Tony Baez Milan

Starring: John Klemantaski, Darren Kendrick, Glen Vaughan

I think it fair to say the works of Ray Bradbury haven’t always been best served by the movies. Didn’t know about this adaption and I cannot readily recall the short story from whence it came. But, tell you what, someone should’ve warned this daft scientist about chugging Baby Bio straight from the bottle. May contain an irritating fungal infection and spoilers…

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Made In Britain: Kingsman

Kingsman poster

Well, colour me surprised. After the terminally shit Kick Ass and Kick Ass 2, and the less than wholly whelming (to put it mildly) X: Men prequel, I’d written Matthew Vaughan off as someone that had it once, lost it, and cannae get it back. As such, and given that Kingsman was from a funnybook by Mark Millar, I had the film also written off as another lame Bond spoof along the lines of Jonny English. Except, given Millar’s involvement, probably more unpleasant. Imagine my surprise, when it proved to be quite entertaining and a highly watchable, albeit flawed, film- so much better than I thought it was going to be.

Contains Harry Palmer Gentlemen Spies and spoilers below Read More…