Director: Robert Parrish
Starring: Roy Thinnes, Ian Hendry, Patrick Wymark
Love it when this happens. The film is just another title on the list, but when I set that silver platter spinning, a cross between 1970’s-era TV series UFO and Thunderbirds appeared before my emotionally watering eyes. May contain live action puppets and spoilers…
Welcome to a new series! We’ve been completely shit so far in 2015 (well, Droid has been keeping up his usual fine run), and have let the content level drop a fair amount. So, thankfully, ContinentalOp has stepped into the breach and come up with a new series- a look at the “real life” Superhero movies. There are loads of these, and the quality of them varies from the decent to the frankly risible. Anyhoo, here’s ContinentalOp with what is arguably the progenitor of the whole subgenre.
Massive credit is due here, as I think this may be the most erudite review that any of us has ever produced- it even has footnotes backing assertions, unlike the wild unqualified shite that I usually turn out. Anyhoo, Take it away, dude:
I toyed with doing this under the whole Parenting banner, because Paddington is, obviously, a “family” film, but in the end I discarded this idea and housed it in Made in Britain simply because it’s just so quintessentially English.
When this adaptation was first announced, my heart sank as this “property” is a staple (and much-loved) fixture of British childhood, and there was nothing I’d heard since Lucas’s neck fold grew to cover his stupid fat mouth that contained as much potential for Kindertrauma. Based on the character created by Michael Bond, Paddington is a red hat and duffel coat wearing talking bear from deepest darkest Peru with a tendency towards acts of enormous unintentional fuckuppery and a fixation on marmalade sandwiches- how on earth do you get this across on the big screen without it descending into kitsch? Then they cast Nicole Kidman as a ninth rate Cruella De Ville knock off and the last remaining unmolested part of my fond memories curled up in the corner and began to cry. The only question left for me was: how bad is this going to be?
Contains delight and spoilers below. Read More…
Director: Roger Corman
Starring: Richard Garland, Pamela Duncan, Russell Johnson
Reckon I’m long overdue for one of these things aren’t I. Sorry. Struggling to even write a shopping list at the moment, but here goes… This time I’m going to sail us to the island of a Corman cheapie. Might stay awhile so bring yer cozzie just in case. May contain a crafty crustacean or two and spoilers…
Christ, I’ve been lazy. I’ve got all sorts of entertaining reviews of drivel racked up and ready to go, but I am instead going to review The Guardian’s number 1 film of last year: Under the Skin. This is billed as an erotic sci-fi horror art film, which reads to me like they put a number of movie descriptors into a hat and then drew them out until they got bored. Nevertheless, this is a film I really wanted to see last year, as I like one of the director’s previous efforts (more on this in a moment), the awesome Sexy Beast.
Contains Alien fuckmonsters and spoilers below.
Hell, I must be getting old and soft. Nary a swearword to be seen
Anyway. It’s festive time so I’d like to thank all our little community that keeps Werewolves on the Moon going.
So, all, as you know who you are, Merry Christmas and a happy new year and I promise I’ll grow out of using faintly pornographic anime characters for this at some point.
See you on the bounce, Troopers
Seeing as I’m taking the high road and setting out to make sure that Finn can safely watch any manner of movies without untold trauma, nightmares and growing up into a serial killer, I’m taking it on myself to watch as many of the films I saw as a kid to see how “Family friendly” they are. Last time I provided sage and sound advice when confronted with Childhood classic and young mind destroyer Watership Down (Suitable for all, my arse). This time around it’s another one from my childhood: Hawk the Slayer Read More…
As The Church of Chang’s foremost lepologist, it’s my duty to review any Leprechaun movie out there. I first heard of a new Lep movie a couple of years ago, when the production company drank in my local boozer. They had the rights and were attempting to get Warwick back to bring us some more zany high-concept Lep fun. Sadly, they lost the rights and it passed on to WWE Studios- who instantly promised to reboot the series. Alarm bells began to ring at this point, if I’m honest. Nevertheless, WWE pressed ahead, and delivered unto us Leprechaun: Origins, and it’s now my sorry duty to bury the corpse of my favourite Horror franchise.
I should’ve posted this over a month ago but I got ‘sidetracked’. Slightly out of date, I suppose, but never mind. It’s a piece about the resurrection of the cowardly TV paranormal investigation team, Most Haunted…