Archive by Author | kloipy

[Insert Ape Pun Here] Kloipy has seen Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

apes

‘Dawn of the Planet of the Apes’ kicks off with a rousing hunt scene. Instead of the apes chasing down humans, we are treated to a nearly wordless 10 minutes sequence in which the apes in formation, stalk and take down some elk and nearly escape a bear attack. Though the hunt turns into chaos it is also apparent that the apes had continued to evolve from ‘Rise’ by the fact that they have now established hunting tools, some wearing war paint, some riding horses, and a colony in between the giant redwoods. This society has families, a sort of school, some laws that they have put together, and at the top of the chain stands Caesar. He has taken the leader position and rules it well. Read More…

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Kloipy Presents:Ya Know, Like, Poems and Shit

Aside from my short stories, I also, believe it or not write some poems. So this section will be for that. Poems…and shit. Read More…

Kloipy is Ravaged by Deadgirl

Deadgirl is a movie with a message and that message is as follows: If you are ever in the basement of an old abandoned mental hospital, find a weird rotting girl on a table who is breathing and has a bag over her head and tied down, please, do not fuck her. Read More…

Kloipy’s Stephen King Series: Creepshow

Creepshow is everything that a good horror movie should be. To me, it is a flawless film. It manages to be scary, funny, and entertaining from start to finish. When I think of horror, the most prevelant thing that comes to mind are EC Comics. Tales of ghouls rising from fresh graves, monsters from beyond the stars, and the shine of drool on a set of big sharp teeth lurking in the darkness. Creepshow manages to catch this exact tone so perfectly that it has become one of my most loved horror films of all time. Read More…

Kloipy is broken by Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father

I don’t normally write a review this soon after watching any film. I usually let it take it’s time. I like to write slowly to get all my thoughts in. But I have finally come to an instance where I cannot bear to let my feelings dwell on the inside. I am writing this review with tears still falling from my eyes. I’m not ashamed to tell you that I’ve never cried this hard over a film. Read More…

Kloipy’s Stephen King Series: Stand by Me

I was lucky enough to grow up in the time before the internet. I lived surrounded by forests and mountains. Each day growing up was a day spent exploring. Each discovery felt important, each step filled with the importance that childhood can bring to it. The days seemed as long as my shadow on the grass at noon. And at night, with the windows open, I’d listen to the songs of the crickets, the sweet whisper of the wind through the fields, and I count the stars until I fell asleep. TV at the time wasn’t important, it was my friends, and the tantalizing thought of what lay beyond that next hill. Read More…

Kloipy will not bow to the “AntiChrist”

Finally, a horror movie for the pretentious art-house crowd. I mean normal horror is distasteful and juvenile and it can’t appeal to the high society because it isn’t true art. Well guess what you Andy Warhol loving assholes, now you too can say you enjoy horror because your favorite director of  metaphysical bullshit is back to give you the true horror cinema that you would be too embarassed to share with your ‘Piss Christ’ loving friends before. Read More…

Kloipy’s Stephen King Series: Dreamcatcher

Dreamcatcher? More like Nightmarepitcher! You see what I did there, took the name and… oh fuck it. Read More…

Kloipy’s Stephen King Series: The Shawshank Redemption

Annoying Personal Note:

I’ve always been a horror fan. As long as I can remember I’ve been intrigued by the genre. I grew up starting on the Universal Monsters and then on the more modern classics (by modern I mean 70’s and 80’s). It was only a matter of time before I found out about Stephen King. Read More…