Burt Gummer’s Rec Room- March 2012 Archive

A gathering place for firearms enthusiasts, paranoid survivalists and those who worship at the Church of Chang 

March. The green shoots of spring start pushin’ through, but here in Perfection, all we’ve got is sand, more sand and large angry subterranean worms. The season’s pass, but the Graboids are all year round.

Disclaimer: This is the part of the Church that is the most no holds barred. None of it is intended with malice, and although it can on occasion seem a little bit fraught, it is banter rather than venom. So, be warned that this is like taking a naked swim in a piranha tank and not recommended for the faint of heart.

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2,260 responses to “Burt Gummer’s Rec Room- March 2012 Archive”

  1. Jarv says :

    In the name of fun-killing everywhere, the Guardian has been debunking rock myths.

    So that thing with Marianne Faithfull and the Mars Bar? Not true. She says it isn’t anyway.

    • Droid says :

      What’s that? Never heard it.

      • Jarv says :

        Seriously?

        The story goes that when the Met turned up to bust Jagger and Richards for possession of Marijuana in the 60’s they stormed into the room to find a Mars bar being used, by Jagger, on Marianne Faithful in a way that the manufacturer never intended.

        However, she denies it.

        Nevertheless, the story came from the cops, and was verified at the time, so I think she’s lying. Because you would lie about something like that.

      • Droid says :

        HA! Nope. Never heard of that. I am pure in mind, body and spirit of course, so I rarely learn of such filth.

      • Droid says :

        The story goes that when the Met turned up to bust Jagger and Richards for possession of Marijuana in the 60′s they stormed into the room to find a Mars bar being used, by Jagger, on Marianne Faithful in a way that the manufacturer never intended.

        Just to clarify, they were deep frying the mars bar right?

      • Jarv says :

        Not quite.

        Unless Marianne Faithful is code for “deep fat fryer”. However, she is undoubtedly full of batter.

      • Jarv says :

        outta here. TO THE BEER GARDEN!

  2. koutchboom says :

    Watched Sam Peckinpah’s West: Legacy of a Hollywood Renegade last night. Eh too much dick sucking not enough story telling.

  3. koutchboom says :

    Goodbye Pixar, it was a decent run.

    • Bartleby says :

      forget goodbye pixar…how bout, thank you dreamworks for ceasing to suck.

      Just stop making Madagascar movies and we are BFFs.

    • tombando says :

      Hey that looks promising. First ever heard of it.

    • Droid says :

      Cute idea. But the animation looks a bit shit. I’m getting a bit tired of CG animation to be honest. All the characters look the same. All the Dreamworks, Pixar, Blue Sky characters look interchangeable. Movies like Rango, Tintin and Ga’hoole look totally different, and that’s part of the reason why I actually give a shit about them when I see them.

      • koutchboom says :

        I’m pretty impressed with the animation there, mainly the background work and especially the background work in the Easter Bunnies realm.

        I agree though I’d like to see something weird. Like seeing those boring Brave spots makes me think about the end credits sequence animation for Robin Hood and how I’d much rather see a full length picture similar to something like that than Brave. But this looks different enough and Dreamworks has been killing it lately so I’m there.

      • chipps says :

        have you seen the princess and the frog? once you cgi, you can never go back

      • Jarv says :

        I think I’ve cracked why you keep ending up in Spam mate. It shouldn’t happen again, at least I hope not, as I’ve just unspammed you.

  4. koutchboom says :

    Damn I know that RT still has a lot of critics to jerk off yet, but 92% for Mirror Mirror, looking good!

    • Droid says :

      Splice got a very high RT score too.

      • Droid says :

        Drive is 93% after 224 reviews. RT is worthless as a guide.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah but Drive and Splice or more divisive movies. They are terrible to us for other reasons. Mirror Mirror looked like a train wreck possibly getting 10% at best, and it’s a family movie which are easier to sort of gauge. I doubt it’ll stay that high I’m just saying it’s not gonna be as bad as most of you hoped it would be.

        I mean sure Jarv with his eternal hate for Julia Roberts will probably fucking hate it and over react about how bad it is, but it looks like it’s turned out to be a fun movie with a wonky ‘funderwhacking’ sort of dance at the end.

    • Bartleby says :

      You know, I agree with K here. I liked Drive, but not Splice, but seeing as how RT is an aggregate that only registers thumbs up/thumbs down, it’s easy to understand why Splice and Drive had positives. One rankled my nerves for very specific reasons, Drive seems have to done the same for others.

      But, Mirror Mirror getting such a mostly positive response–no one says its great, that its just a fun little movie–is honestly, sort of relieving.

      Good thing, cause Im headed off to the jaws of the beast….right now.

      Who knows K, maybe it’s a Wrath Mirror Mirror double feature kind of weekend…like a one-stop shop at 80s cheesetown.

      You can see these are the gibberings of a man who thinks his doomed…come on Tarsem, you can do this.

  5. Jarv says :

    Trott may well be a twat, but sometimes he is just what England need.

    • Jarv says :

      You cunt Prior.

      • Jarv says :

        You stupid, stupid cunt. “Freak dismissal” my arse. The cunt hit it straight to short leg, who almost dropped it.

        Still, Samit, Broad and Swann bat to their averages….

        Which is about 14. Trott needs to win this.

      • Jarv says :

        CAught. At. Cover.

        You stupid fat cunt.

      • Jarv says :

        I think Broad’s injured. He’s limping anyway. Be a real disaster if England lose this AND he’s fucked.

      • Jarv says :

        Shit.

        that’s it.

        Trott’s gone.

      • Jarv says :

        Although having said that England’s tail scored 81 in the first innings, and that’s pretty much what they need here.

        Monty to hit match winning 6.

        No chance. None.

      • Droid says :

        That’s a Trott innings for you. Not seeing it out until the end.

      • Jarv says :

        Where did you get that from?

        He’s carried his bat on more than one occasion and made lots of big runs.

        England have lost this because of piss poor batting in the first innings. Only Cook and Bell didn’t throw their wicket away.

      • Droid says :

        Nah. Selfish batsman. Plays at his own pace. Usually the opposite of what’s required. He “carries his bat” when it’s comfortable. Put the pressure on and he’s likely to get himself out.

      • Jarv says :

        He is a selfish batsman and I don’t like him. However, it’s untrue to say he doesn’t bat well under pressure. His very first test had a century in the deciding test of the Ashes which won it- and he carried his bat in that. What your saying about pressure on him isn’t true.

        The problem with Trott is that he’s totally one-paced (you’re right on this). He needed to have been accelerating today, and he didn’t. Which put pressure on KP, Bell and Prior to play silly bloody shots to keep the scoreboard ticking over. All of them got out playing aggressive shots- as did Patel trying to clear the infield.

      • Droid says :

        I knew you’d bring the Ashes up. And it’s true, he did do that. I haven’t followed his performances as closely as you have, but I just think he seems to disregard the match, and play however he wants. Play slowly when you need to push for runs. Get himself out when you need him to stay in. It’s happened enough for me to notice it and for it to become an opinion.

      • Jarv says :

        That’s a nigh-on perfect description of how he bats in one-dayers, and I think it’s that which bolsters this impression of him. The player he’s closest to is Kallis, who’s a selfish cunt as well- but both of them are good under pressure.

        There are lots and lots of examples of crucial and match-winning innings compiled by Trott.

        The problems with this batting line up aren’t him and Cook anyway. Trott basically exists because we can’t rely on Strauss at the top of the order, or KP below him. Basically, England win when him and Cook score.

        This is what I’d like to see for the tests in India and the Summer:

        Lyth, Cook (Capt), Trott, KP (final fucking warning), Bell, Prior, Bresnan, Broad, Swann, Anderson and Finn/ Monty depending on conditions. The selectors will never, ever, go for that though, because it’s got 5 bowlers, but I’d argue that Bresnan and Broad more than make up for that and considering the shite we keep trying at 6, I don’t think they can do any worse.

      • Jarv says :

        I’d like them to have a splosh here and go down swinging. They aren’t going to score 80 runs with 1 wicket (let’s face it, monty doesn’t count). So fuck it, have a go.

      • Jarv says :

        And with immaculate timing, Jimmy whacks a 4 and is then out next ball.

      • Droid says :

        I’d dump KP (Huge surprise). His hearts obviously not in it.

      • Jarv says :

        I agree with you. He was brilliant in the one days.

        He seems to care about them and 20/20 and not tests any more. However, you can’t drop the entire batting line up.

        This time next year, however, I’d want to see:

        Lyth, Cook, Trott, Bell, Taylor, Prior/ Davis/ Bairstow (one of them), Bres, Broad, Swann, Anderson, Finn/ Monty.

        That’s a powerful line up. Won’t happen though.

      • Droid says :

        I’d get rid of KP and Strauss soon though. By the Ashes next year you’d want a new lineup firmly established.

      • Droid says :

        Or leave it be. All the better for us.

      • Jarv says :

        Strauss is done. It’s just a matter of handing over. He’ll be gone by the end of the summer. KP, I’d want to bin next winter to give the likes of Taylor, Bairstow, Stokes etc the chance to play in.

        Rumour has it, though, they’re looking at doing something with Trott and Cook opening. Possibly looking for a cure for insomnia.

  6. Droid says :

    Sounds like… total shit.

    Invertigo

    “A long lost NASA space probe mysterious crash lands in New York City, apparently under the influence of a “dark energy” force that drives the universe’s expansion. But the scientific curiosity soon becomes a disaster of cataclysmic proportions as Earth’s own gravity is disrupted and eventually reversed, causing skyscrapers and bridges to be ripped from the ground and rivers to rain from the sky. A team led by the Office of Emergency Management supervisor is forced to mount a desperate mission into upside-down Manhattan to avert the entire planet’s destruction.”

    It’s the perfect storm of suck. Directed by D.J. Caruso. Written by Ehren Kruger and Bradley Cramp.

    • Jarv says :

      What’s that?

      • Jarv says :

        What’s it called?

        Why, just out of curiousity, have you seen so many D.J. Caruso films, when you pretty much hate all of them?

      • Droid says :

        Invertigo

        I’ve seen all of his movies I think. And yes, I hate them all apart from the one with Kilmer, which was a shitty post-Tarantino movie but had enough Kilmer and crazy to be mildly entertaining.

        As for why I keep watching? Morbid curiosity? Why do you keep watching Resident Evil movies?

      • Jarv says :

        I would have stopped ages ago, aside from the fact that I decided to do a stupid Video Games series.

        I have, however, stopped watching all other Anderwank movies, as I haven’t seen 3 Muskatwats.

      • Droid says :

        You will. I have no doubt about it.

        And to be fair to Caruso’s movies, they’re not all hateful. He’s a shitty mimic, but the only one I feel unbridled loathing for is Eagle Eye. That serial killer movie with Jolie is merely crap. The Rear Window ripoff is crap. I Am Number 4 is crap with a hilarious dumbhouse finale. That film was totally ruined by casting a bloke you immediately want to punch in the lead. But the Aussie chick that comes in half way through give it a bit of life. And the ending. And the Kilmer one wasn’t too bad.

        I just hate him because he’s got no talent. To me, he’s the equivalent of Anderwank. A talentless sack of shit who has somehow got himself into a position to make pretty large scale genre movies that are right up our alley, and has delivered crap.

      • Jarv says :

        That serial killer movie with Jolie is merely crap.

        Fecking dreadful movie. Redeemed by her quite gratuitous nudity about half way through. End is beyond stupid.

        I hate Anderwank with the fire of 1000 suns. It’s for all the reasons you mention with the added bonus of him not just ruining genre movies, but basically taking a dump on practically everything I, personally, like.

        I like a bit of swashbuckling, so the fuck has ruined 3 muskateers. I like Resident Evil, I love Alien and Predator, and I loved Corman’s Death Race. See also Kurt.

        And he’s shat on all of them.

      • Droid says :

        hehehehe

        It’s a personal vendetta. You must’ve fucked his wife in another life.

      • Droid says :

        And if his wife looked anything like Milla in his previous life, I wouldn’t blame you.

      • Jarv says :

        Talking about suck, I saw Rhianna interviewed regarding Battleships today.

        Wow. What a fucking loaf.

    • tombando says :

      The movie or Rihanna?

    • chipps says :

      roland emmerick found his next plot?

  7. Droid says :

    Anyway, 21 Jump Street was fairly entertaining. And I’m surprised to say that Tatum was the best thing about it. Also, I was trying to figure out why the Eric guy looked so familiar. Turns out his name is Dave Franco. Brother of James.

  8. Droid says :

    They’re really pushing Battleshit. Every placeholder for a poster in the foyer of my cinema now has a Battleshit poster.

    • Droid says :

      I thought Cinna was white, but it makes no difference at all. Lenny was fine. I also thought Rue and Thresh were Indian or something. But again, it makes not a jot of difference what the colour of their skin is.

      • Jarv says :

        Sounds like a silly thing to get up in arms about.

        When we read a novel, we automatically imagine characters according to our own prejudices. When thinking about a hero, we tend to want to relate, so imagine him/ her as being close to us. In my case and yours, that’s white.

        Where it’s different is if the author gives a description and names the colour.

        Doesn’t matter at all, but it isn’t racist to imagine Cinna as white.

      • Droid says :

        I’m sure she says something in the book about Rue’s darker skin. Maybe not that obvious, but there’s some sort of description. Otherwise I don’t really know how I thought she was Indian. And no, it doesn’t really matter.

        Also, remember that these are things on twitter, and from the sounds of them, they’re written by obnoxious 11 year olds.

      • Droid says :

        This, for example, is not written by a mature aged human being.

        “Omg thought he was white crying omg wtf this movie will suck”

      • Jarv says :

        Yes, that’s either a Twilight Mom, a root vegetable or a 11 year old girl.

      • Jarv says :

        54 minutes of work left.

        This blows. I’m pig sick of being treated like a second class citizen. At Midday, School shuts and the teaching staff all go to one of two rooms for a piss up. Then Lunch.

        Are us office staff invited? Are we fuck. The only reason I know about it is because I was accidentally copied in on an email.

        It’s insulting.

      • Droid says :

        That’s horseshit, but you’re a bastard because you have two weeks off. You can help me move on the weekend if you want? And I know you really want!

      • Jarv says :

        Busy this weekend doing anything other than moving furniture.

      • Droid says :

        Just think of that sense of accomplishment you’ll feel afterwards.

      • Jarv says :

        I may do. If I’m feeling generous.

      • Jarv says :

        You will be pleased to hear that I am currently sitting at my desk with a delicious beer.

        Well, a Becks, but you can’t have everything.

      • Droid says :

        I like Becks.

        Bastard.

      • Just Pillow Talk says :

        I second the bastard comment.
        Even if it is Becks.

      • Jarv says :

        I am now drinking red wine and eating a delicious sandwich.

        Bored of Becks.

      • chipps says :

        off topic, but have you read the passage. as jarv says you see the characters in your own prism, but that book does a good job of mixing shit up. plus i have read they have spent millions on the movie rights. so it is a big movie tomorrow. the book is harrowing. i recomend it

  9. Droid says :

    Razzies are on this weekend. Adam Sandler has 11 nominations.

    Worst film nominees are:

    Jack and Jill
    Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star
    New Year’s Eve
    Transformers: Dark of the Moon
    The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1.

    • Jarv says :

      New Year’s Eve has to win from that list. There’s just NOTHING to like about it at all, whereas the rest you can find people who like things about them.

      Should be Sucker Punch, though.

      • Droid says :

        I’ve heard that Bucky Larson movies pretty bad. I’ve only seen Jack and Jill and Trannyformers 3. TF3 I’d replace with POTC4. Sucker Punch would be on there. Jack and Jill has the novelty value of Al Pacino rapping about a Dunkaccino, so I’d replace that with any of the loathesome “comedies” from last year. Probably The Change Up.

      • Jarv says :

        Hangover 2. Worse than the Change Up.

        Bottom 5 from last year:

        Hangover 2,
        New Year’s Eve,
        Sucker Punch,
        The Change Up,
        I haven’t seen Trannys, PoTC, Bucky, or Jack and Jill. So I’d be tempted to put in X-Foetus.

      • Droid says :

        Hangover 2. Worse than the Change Up

        I highly doubt I’ll ever know.

  10. Droid says :

    Did you hear that Brett Ratner might be directing the Midnight Run sequel?

    First of all, that movie doesn’t need a sequel. It’s awesome and should stay untarnished.

    Secondly, it’s far too fucking late for a sequel anyway. That ship has sailed.

    Thirdly, Midnight Run without Charles Grodin is Midnight Run INO. Grodin is genius.

    Fourthly, instead of just half assing it by getting a shooter, why not get Martin Brest to direct it. It’s not like he’s got anything better to do.

    Fifthly, if you can’t or won’t get Brest to do it, why the hell not get George Gallo to write and direct it, since he wrote the original and he’s a director now.

    Sixthly, don’t get the guy who wrote This Means War and Just Go With It to write it.

    Seventhly, fuck you De Niro.

    • Jarv says :

      Read that the other day. Aren’t there already loads of Midnight Run sequels?

      It’ll be a sequel in the same way that U.S. Marshalls is a sequel to the Fugitive.

      • Jarv says :

        Three of them:

        Another Midnight Run
        Midnight Runaround
        Midnight Run for your life.

      • Jarv says :

        Another Midnight Run:

        Jack Walsh (McDonald) needs to score something quick. But he is getting ready for a blind date. His date, Ann, is played by Julie Lott. Walsh claims the date is going well, which it sort of is, until his card failed to work. She bails on him when she says she is going to bathroom. “She’s not coming back, is she?” Jack asked a waiter. Jack heads for his apartment, and a message was waiting for him from Los Angeles bailbondsman Eddie Moscone (Hedaya). Moscone has quite a job for him. The next day, Jack heads down to Eddie’s to get information on this job. Eddie has a job for Jack and rival bounty-hunter Marvin Dorfler (O’Ross) to work on together. Husband-and-Wife Con-team, Bernie Abbot (guest star Jeffrey Tambor) and Helen Bishop (guest star Cathy Moriarty) have to be brought in. Jack was assigned to bring back Bernie for $25,000 and Marvin was to bring in Helen, for $20,000. Jack thinks this is a piece of cake and doesn’t care about Marvin, he’ll bring in both of them for $45,000.

      • Droid says :

        There are Made for TV sequels starring Christopher McDonald. I acquired them a few years ago. They’re not bad, but very made of tv and the writing etc isn’t brilliant.

        Ugh. US Marshals.

      • Jarv says :

        Crap film, US Marshals.

        Just a lazy cash in load of bollocks.

      • Droid says :

        Yep. Didn’t like it. Also hated that they made it another “innocent man” film. Should’ve just been Gerrard on the trail of a real bad guy. None of the idiotic double agent bollocks.

      • Just Pillow Talk says :

        yeah, I don’t like US Marshalls either. RDJ as the bad guy is horrible too.

  11. Droid says :

    GoT is back next week. Mad Men is back. Need to start watching Homeland and Rome season two.

    TV has a lot to offer these days.

  12. Just Pillow Talk says :

    Watched The Two Towers last night, which I still like. There’s an awful lot to like in it, though still has some stupid shit thrown in.

    And I watched a bit of Goons I think it was called with Stifler as a hockey player…awful, awful, awful.

    • Jarv says :

      I tried to rewatch TTT recently, and I honestly think it’s pretty shit. Not as bad as ROTK, but it just doesn’t work for me at all.

      • Just Pillow Talk says :

        I still think the acting is strong, it’s not dragged down by CGI being overdone in the third, and the Helm’s Deep battle is pretty good. I liked the March of the Ents, though I think he could have tightened up that story a bit. The Frodo-Sam interaction starts getting a bit old, which they could have tightened a bit too to put Shelob in the second movie instead of the third. That would have been a much better ending for the second movie, Frodo in her clutches.

      • Jarv says :

        Moving Shelob is the single biggest mistake in the films. It completely destroys the rhythm of the third, and it would be much better because there is still a cliff hanger with the orcs taking Frodo.

      • Jarv says :

        Also, I disagree about the CGI. There’s fucking Saber toothed tigers and shit totally needlessly in it.

        I’d rate them: Fellowship- 3, TTT-1 and ROTK 1/2.

        I really, really do not like ROTK.

      • Just Pillow Talk says :

        Huh? There’s nothing wrong with those things, they were fine.
        And they weren’t wearing any hats.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        There was saber tooth tigers in it, where?

      • Just Pillow Talk says :

        They weren’t sabertoothed tigers, but some sort of wolf like creatures.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        The wargs that the orcs ride?

      • Just Pillow Talk says :

        Yeah, those things.

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      Helm’s Deep and the Elf charge is the best part.

      • Jarv says :

        Aside from that there’s no need at all for the Elves to be there.

        And Liv Tyler is fucking AWFUL in those films.

        It’s mostly boring though- all the crap with the Ents and the annoying Hobbitches just brings the film to a juddering halt.

      • Droid says :

        The Ents as well as all the sweeping shots of 3 pricks running. That just does my head in.

      • Just Pillow Talk says :

        I do agree that those stories need to be shrunk, but it doesn’t disrupt the whole film for me. Heh, I actually forgot she was in the second film.

      • tombando says :

        TTT Works okay, the battles were by far the best things, I also enjoyed the Ents and watching the Three Amigos do their little race over the prairie routine. Gollum in the swamp is well handles as well.

        What’s not so great? the add-ons-Viggo’s little Wile E Coyote dive off the cliff, the F/X of the hyena things, hmmmmm little things like that. Overall I’ve come to terms w/ whatever I didn’t like in the trilogy, I think Sir Petey Jax did a fairly good job overall.

        Would have preferred a couple Giant Robots–

  13. Droid says :

    All of this is in place and looks great, but the dialogue is rather flat, the movie sort of boring, and there’s not much energy in the two places it should really be felt: Between the Queen and Snow White, and between Snow and the Prince. The story is a listless tale that moves at a stately pace through settings that could have supported fireworks.

    So essentially Tarsem Singh has made another good looking shitty movie? Thought as much.

    • Bartleby says :

      I saw it last night. I was surprised. I quite enjoyed it, but think he’s a little off on it.

      It’s neither as visually excessive as Tarsem’s movies nor is the rest of it ‘boring’ like he says, as the style and the story are pretty much intertwined. Actually, it’s a fun little family movie—where family doesn’t automatically mean condescending or trite—and much of whats in the trailer isnt in the movie (no ‘say hello to my little friend’ or ‘Snow way!’).

      No, it’s not likely, on a story level, to really appeal to anyone here but I think if you find yourself not into it, you can at least concede that it is a good feature for children. I think they have made it fun for kids of either gender, and the thing it most reminded me of was ‘Jim Henson’s The Storyteller’. There’s even a similar role for Sean Bean in it. Does anyone remember that series?

      The actors are fun, including the chick who looks like Audrey Hepburn wearing Groucho Marks eyebrows. I think it’s very strange that Ebert gives a thumbs up to Alice in Wonderland, but not to this one, which is more fun, more sincere and more legitimately entertaining.

      Unlike Immortals, I’d actually be willing to watch this one a second time (and as it doesn’t rely solely upon visuals for its effect, would likely enjoy it a second time too). Ha, I guess that makes it Tarsem’s second best movie.

      Also, regarding Koutch, the final dance happens after the film ends and it mercifully isnt like the fudderwaggin or whatever. It’s just a bollywood homage song, think the very end of Slumdog and it’s just like that. Not intrusive, and in keeping with the spirit of the movie.

      • Droid says :

        Snow White and the Seven Reasons Why Mirror, Mirror Doesn’t Interest Me.

        1. Julia Roberts
        2. Julia Roberts
        3. A hideous marketing campaign. The trailers are unwatchable let alone the film.
        4. Julia Roberts
        5. It’s clearly a film for pre-pubescents. This is not a bad thing per say. Just not my thing.
        6. I’m pretty much done with Tarsem. All the goodwill built up from The Fall is gone after Immortals.
        7. Julia Fucking Roberts.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah I figured it was more like Slumdog, I just like making fun of Alice In Wonderland.

      • Bartleby says :

        Ws Immortals really that bad? I thought it was a pretty good looking, emotionally cold movie. I enjoyed it more than 300 or Troy. After Mirror, Mirror, I think that Tarsem is actually better suited to fantastical or more childlike (I know Fall was rated R but it had the aspects of a fairy tale) films than these generic action types like Cell (underneath it all, just a serial killer thriller) and Immortals (an overcharged macho chop fest).
        His style just sits on the surface of those later films, intended to gussy them up. In MM and The Fall, I felt like he was more at home, had some vested interest in what he was doing and his style meshed more. Honestly, Im thinking that most of the marketing people on films these days should be straight fired.
        If Mirror Mirror does well—and it might, since it’s aiming at a niche of family filmmaking—then I hope Tarsem takes some of his Immortals/MM goodwill and goes out and makes another ‘Fall’.

      • Droid says :

        Immortals was that bad. I really hated it.

        I saw a quote somewhere from Tarsem. He said he wants to make a movie like Polanksi or Haneke. He’s attached to some WWII thriller or something.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah but hopefully this time is doesn’t take him Six years since he should have way more money now.

        It’s funny scanning the reviews how people say stuff like “typical Tarseem, visually inventive emotionally dead”. Now I’m not gonna say Immortals was some Oscar winning acting but I think the acting in the movie was fine. Superman, Blade and Mickey carried it enough to make up for some of the other lack luster stuff. Also I think visually compared to other movies like 300 and Troy it’s much more of an eye fest because his visual’s are unique. 300 never got past it’s trailer, Immortals is a lot better than it’s trailer.

      • Jarv says :

        Troy blows, though.

      • Droid says :

        It sure does. Not even Bana can save it. And I’ve seen the directors cut too. I blame Kingdom of Heaven for that.

      • Bartleby says :

        what really surprises me are the positive reviews for Goon. I dont think I saw the same movie as those other guys. I clearly saw the one JPT watched.

      • Droid says :

        I’m surprised by that, because I read Eberts review today and it sounds alright. But then Pillows said it was dreadful. I think I’ll still watch it at some stage.

      • koutchboom says :

        Hehehe yeah I saw Ebert likes Goon, but not Wrath and Mirror Mirror. I’m guessing they are all gonna end up about roughly the same for me. I watched Goon last night, sort of dumb but fun. I liked Stifler in it and the movie got better as it went along. There was so little fat in those first 40 minutes it plays so weird. Not all of the jokes hit but yeah between Goon and The Rocket, those are more interesting sports movie tales than most of the typical stuff we’ve seen in America since 9/11. (NOTE: I have not seen Miracle)

        ALSO seeing how Levy was his father in it, explains why they were so buddy buddy in American Pie 4.

      • Droid says :

        Miracle isn’t too bad. It’s your typical underdog sports film. Hits all the required beats. Well staged, solid acting, Kurt. It’s worth a look.

      • Bartleby says :

        I mean, Goon is almost ok…but it reminds too often of Slapshot. Its not in the same class as slapshot or the rocket. I like Scott actually, but the movie feels almost DTV if Im being honest.

        Mirror Mirror and Titans are both much better. Actually, oddly, I think MM is the best of those three mentioned.

      • Bartleby says :

        you blame kingdom of heaven for what? for troy or for the DC? cause I get the latter, but the former, no, since KOH released a year later.

      • Droid says :

        For me watching the Troy DC. A foolish attempt to see if lightning could strike twice.

      • Droid says :

        Also, the only reason the Troy DC or the Alexander DC exists is because of KOH. So yes, the whole thing is KOH’s fault.

      • Droid says :

        But ultimately Troy and KOH exist because Gladiator exists. So it’s Ridleys fault!

      • Bartleby says :

        Koutch, in regards to Immortals, some of the acting was fine, but it was filmed as if acting was an afterthought, and the script wasn’t written with humans speaking it in mind, so it’s very stilted in the delivery, except Rourke who finds alcohol makes everything sound better.

        I think the acting and fx make it a fine, once through, action trip, but it just didnt capture my imagination the way a film about that subject matter with Tarsem aboard should have.

      • Droid says :

        Tarsem really needed to make Wrath of the Titans. He could have been a good fit for a monster mash.

      • koutchboom says :

        Man now that Mirror Mirror is turning out to be ok in the end, what if Snow White and the Huntsman just fucking blows? It could, I mean The Brothers Grimm looked fucking awesome until I blew my brains out about half way through.

        What’s also odd is that had I not known that Mirror Mirror was Tarseem, if I had just been told Tarseem directed one of these two movies about Snow White I don’t know if I would’ve automatically gone right for Mirror Mirror, I’ll never know but That sight of Charlize getting out of the milk looks very Tarseem. It was like they told that newbie they have to out Tarseem Tarseem, and Tarseem Tarseemed them by making this family friendly movie not some typically hard Tarseem film.

        ALSO thinking about it….the trailer for The Fall was fucking amazing….so why did the trailers for Immortals and Mirror Mirror blow so much.

        Final thought, why doesn’t Lily Collins have one of those pounce accents like Phil? She sounds completely correct (AKA American), I was a little disappointed.

      • Droid says :

        And the award for the most misspellings of a persons name in a single paragraph goes to… Koutchboom!

        You’ve now got a companion Guinness for your “most chimichanga’s in a minute” record. Congrats!

      • Just Pillow Talk says :

        It’s actually your fault for watching those DC you bastard.

      • Droid says :

        I have official documentation that clearly states I cannot be held accountable for my actions.

      • Jarv says :

        Alternatively known as an Australian passport

      • Droid says :

        Jealous aren’t you?

      • Jarv says :

        Nah,

        I’ve got an irish one.

        Makes me loveable as well as not being responsible for my actions.

  14. Droid says :

    Jonah, you up to date with Fringe yet?

  15. Droid says :

    Jarv, since I won’t be doing a Trailerthon for a while, here’s one for your Made in Britain series.

  16. koutchboom says :

    FUCK have we talked about The Hunter yet? We need to get on dats.

  17. Droid says :

    So I watched Clash of the Titans last night. It was like watching a movie for the first time. I’d totally forgotten 95% of what happened. Anyway, it wasn’t as downright terrible as I remember it being. It just never really gets out of third gear. The biggest problem is the astonishing flip flop contradictions in logic. The film has Zeus bringing the wrath one minute, and then in his next scene he’s aiding Perseus on his quest. “Here you go, son I only just found out about. Here’s a bunch of assistance in your quest to defeat me.” The reshoots are obviously to blame for this. The Kraken was a bit of a waste, as it was mostly used as a set for Perseus chasing the demon things. But anyway, overall it was okay. Probably plays better on the small screen.

  18. Droid says :

    Riiiiiiiiight….

    http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/twins-triplets-arnold-schwarzenegger-danny-devito-eddie-murphy-306026

    Titled Triplets, the story would see Schwarzenegger and DeVito as brothers Julius and Vincent, conceived experimentally, who discover they have third sibling.

    Eddie Murphy would act as a third brother.

    Devito: Aged 67
    Schwarzenegger: Aged 64
    Murphy: Aged 50

    At least get someone that could have conceivably shared the same womb.

    Anyway, I highly doubt this will ever actually happen.

    • Droid says :

      More news…

      Sony has picked up The Royal Honour Society, a literary-themed action-adventure pitch. Details are vague but it’s described as the iconic stories of some of England’s greatest writers from the late 19th century, among them H.G. Wells, Jules Verne, and Robert Louis Stevenson, come together in an action-adventure tale.

      Since they’ve run out of familiar funny book characters, and will soon be running out of famous fairy tales to re-envision, they’ve moved on to sticking notable historical figures in dumb action films.

      Wonder if anyone’s seen Time After Time.

      Grown Ups 2 is getting a sequel. Most of the cast from the first movie, including Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade, Maya Rudolph and Salma Hayek, is expected to return. Dennis Dugan will be back as director.

      Wank.

      Ben Affleck is to star in Nathan Decker, a political comedy written by Dan Fogelman (Crazy, Stupid, Love). The story centers on a politician who is caught in an affair and returns to his hometown to confront his past.

      I liked CSL for the most part. And I like Affleck. Could be okay.

      This however, doesn’t sound like it could be okay.

      Fogelman also wrote The Guilt Trip (previously titled My Mother’s Curse), the upcoming Seth Rogen-Barbra Streisand road-trip comedy.

      I don’t mind Rogen, but I can’t stand Streisand.

      Bill Paxton joins Laurence Fishburne and Kevin Zegers in The Colony, a sci-fi thriller about a group of underground survivors after the next Ice Age fending off an invasion of feral cannibals.

      I like Paxton. Fishburnes okay. Synopsis sounds okay. I’ll give it a shot when it comes out.

  19. tombando says :

    Yeah might go see Titans, actually liked the last one ok. Tintin and muppets redbox time too.

    • Jarv says :

      Crap list. The end of the Birds and Holy Grail are great.

      • Jarv says :

        Also, the end of the Birds makes perfect sense as well. Don’t know what he’s talking about

      • Jarv says :

        Crap Endings- No Country, AI, Superman are fair shouts.

        However, I’d like to add War of the Worlds, Return of the Jedi, Titanic, Saving Private Ryan, (in fact, any film that adds in a mawkish book-end), City of Angels, Munich, Indy 4, New Woman in Black,

        Some idiot in that thread put up The Thing, Near Dark and Total Recall. Morons.

      • Jarv says :

        ROTK as well.

        The No Country one is hugely dissatisfying, but it’s because of the book, as I recall.

        The Road as well. Shit film with a shit end.

      • Jarv says :

        Shawshank Redemption. Awful ending.

      • Jarv says :

        An obvious one, I suppose, is The Mist.

      • Droid says :

        The end of The Mist is just way, way, way too mean spirited.

      • Droid says :

        I don’t mind Shawshank.

        Someone’s said the medal ceremony in Star Wars. Fuck off.

      • Jarv says :

        I’m thinking about the end with moleman CGI-ing Douche Skywalker into the Jedi. Awful

        Other than that, I agree- fuck off.

      • Droid says :

        Yeah, the person specifically said the medal ceremony. To that I say Fuck Off!

      • Jarv says :

        I can’t stand the end of Shawshank. It’s totally dishonest. I often wondered if Darabont wasn’t overcompensating with the Mist because of the happy artificial ending to Shawshank.

      • Droid says :

        Why’s it “dishonest”?

      • Droid says :

        The endings to Fallen and Buried are shit.

      • Jarv says :

        I like the end of Fallen

      • Droid says :

        Nope. The end is shit.

      • Jarv says :

        Why do you think it’s shit? The film established that Denzel was trying to work out how to kill the demon, he’s pieced it all together and was so close to success. Too mean spirited?

      • Droid says :

        I think it’s a huge cheat that *SPOILER* the demon can:

        a) possess a cat. I don’t remember any evidence that the demon can take possession of a non human. It’s been 15 years since I’ve seen it, so I may be mistaken on the evidence thing. I don’t remember it establishing that anyway. That pisses me off.

        b) a cat that appears to be a well-fed, healthy house cat is in the middle of nowhere living in an abandoned shack. Again, unless I’m not remembering someone taking the cat there (this could very well be the case), then this point shits me. If I’m wrong about this and Denzel or Goodman took it there, then a) still stands.

        And yes, I found it far too clever for it’s own good and the mean spiritedness of it annoyed me.

      • Droid says :

        I’m off!

        Home to finalise packing for the move tomorrow.

        Adios.

      • Jarv says :

        He says at the beginning that this is the time I “almost” died. One of the demonology books mentions animals as well.

        What did you want them to do? Starve the cat?

      • Droid says :

        Bingo. And whose voice is it that says he “almost died”? Denzels. But according what few rules have been established, the demon takes on the voice of the host. And Denzel’s dead. So the voiceover at the beginning shoud be “Meow meow meow meow. Meow meow meow.” Or in a totally different voice and then you can assume it’s taken another human host. By making it Denzels voice, the filmmakers are knowingly and intentionally cheating. It’s misdirection, which isn’t in itself a cheat. It’s that it doesn’t play fair.

        What did you want them to do? Starve the cat?

        I hope this is a joke. I really do.

      • Jarv says :

        I was being facetious.

        I know what you’re saying about the cat being a pet, but it strikes me as being a bit nitpicky.

      • Jarv says :

        In that I was easily able to suspend disbelief for it.

        And I didn’t mind Denzel’s voice as the demon. Given that it’s a voiceover, and that we’re presumably seeing his memories then I don’t see it as a problem that the voice you hear is the last human voice he possesses in the film.

        Although a cat voiceover “Meow, meow, meow, hiss, scratch, hiss meow” (like one of the old Charley Says safety ads) would be fucking hilarious.

      • Droid says :

        It’s nitpicking in the same way that it’s hard to believe a farmer wouldn’t find something buried under a rock on the outskirts of what appears to be a large property without knowing somethings there.

      • Jarv says :

        No it isn’t.

        Complaining that the cat looked to well fed compared to a narrative leap of faith? It’s flirting with “wrong colour of fire” levels of nitpicky. I didn’t even notice, to be honest.

      • Droid says :

        Yes it is. Have you ever lived on a property with a back yard that’s of any size? I have. Something securely buried under a rock on the edge of the property is highly unlikely to be happened upon unless you know it’s there and are looking for it.

        It’s nowhere near a leap of faith. Actually, in my opinion, it’s a leap of faith to assume it would be found.

      • Jarv says :

        I have.

        And one with a tree, a stone and a wall like that. I can think of loads of scenarios that would involve the stone being found, particularly considering it’s farm land.

        Leaving aside the question of honesty with that ending, that isn’t high up my lists of reasons for hating it.

      • Droid says :

        Thanks to some nerd who has watched Shawshank far too many times, Andy escapes in June 1966 and Red is paroled in 1967. So it is only buried under the rock for a year. The likelihood of anyone finding it is so remote that I cannot believe it’s an issue.

      • Jarv says :

        Thought it was longer than that to be honest.

        If it’s only a year, then that’s different.

      • Droid says :

        The whole cat fiasco is a failure of logic. In place to provide a smart assy twist ending.

        And the voiceover isn’t even required. Its only purpose is to dupe the audience. And it cheats in the way I’ve said, and also in that it’s delivered in the voice of Denzels character, and not the voice of the demon. If you get my drift.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s lazy using a cat, but I honestly don’t see anything wrong with it. It’s established that the demon can live outside of the body for brief time before he needs an animal or a human.

        The reason it’s lazy is that they should have used a fox or something. But I don’t really have a problem with it at all.

      • Droid says :

        A cat doesn’t hang about an abandoned shack. They go where food is.

        I wouldn’t have as big of a problem with it if the entire twist didn’t solely rely on that cat being there. As you say, use a forest critter and it wouldn’t be anywhere near as obnoxious.

      • Jarv says :

        I don’t see it as obnoxious at all. The film opens with him running through the snow and “how I almost died”. It then gets to that point, and Denzel kills himself with the poisoned smoke. The film then cuts back to the voice over and him running through the snow.

        Feral cats travel miles for food, and it isn’t unlikely that one would be in the wood nearby. It’s not obnoxious.

        If you think about the final scene in the film, if it ended with him falling face down in the snow and dying then that would officially be the worst ending ever. Denzel has a smoke, flops around in the snow, end film? That’s really unsatisfying and I suspect would play really badly on screen.

        I’m not pretending that there aren’t huge problems with the last act of Fallen, but the end itself isn’t one of them. A bigger problem is why on earth does he go back to that fucking shack in the first place, and I could have come up with a scenario that fucked the demon good and proper. No running through the snow for you, cunt.

        The way you do it (and this is probably the way the film should have gone) is that Denzel lays the trap at the shack, but turns the gas on. Lures Goodman inside, clobbers him, ties him to a chair. Has the chat with him, reveals that he has a plan, lights cigarette and BOOM!

        Film shifts to Demons perspective as he then flies into the air, and you get the narrative. He possesses a hawk or something.

      • Droid says :

        I disagree with everything you just said. I was actually happy when I thought Denzel was taking him with him. What a great ending I thought (I’d forgotten about the opening voiceover). Then the fucking plump kitty comes out of nowhere. BAM. Shitty ending.

      • Jarv says :

        I’d forgotten about the opening voiceover

        There you go. The film was only obeying it’s own rules.

        I do not get this weird hang up on the cat’s weight, and it doesn’t come out of nowhere, he’s running full tilt through the woods- we don’t even know how long he’s been running for (say 6 minutes, which I think is what Denzel said the poison would take to kill him). It’s not unrealistic for a stray cat to be in the woods.

      • Droid says :

        No, the film was breaking it’s own rules. Denzel should not be providing the opening voice over. Goodman didn’t have Koteas’ voice. Koteas didn’t have whatever other poor schmucks voice the demon possessed. It defies simple logic.

        It’s not unrealistic for a stray cat to be in the woods.

        But it’s not probable that a plump house cat would be.

      • Jarv says :

        Not probable, but in a film about demonic possession, you’re worried about a stray cat appearing in the wood looking too well fed?

        Yes, but, and this is the thing, Denzel is narrating while he’s running through the snow. The film actually ends with him looking at the cat, I don’t think he says anything after that.

      • Droid says :

        Horseshit. The demon was running for his life. At the point of the voiceover, if it’s when he’s running through the snow, he didn’t know he had survived by virtue of the magic feline. So the voiceover is a scam.

      • Droid says :

        In a film about demonic possession, I want logic to be upheld.

      • Jarv says :

        I honestly do not see the problem with this.

        You’re just being insanely nitpicky about the weight of a cat and a voiceover in a film that sets its rules up early and then doesn’t deviate. Would it have made you happier with “meow meow meow” as the voiceover?

      • Droid says :

        It does deviate. If the voiceover occurs when you say it does, then it breaks the rules. If it occurs after you say it does, then it breaks the rules. I find it hard to believe you don’t see this.

      • Jarv says :

        No it doesn’t.

        If it occurs after, then I don’t see a problem with the voice being the last human voice he had. If it occurs as I said it did, he’s narrated what lead up to the point in the film in the right voice.

        I’m struggling with this, because I cannot for the life of me see what the problem is with it. You even admit that you forgot that he’s telling the story about how he almost died.

        It’s certainly not obnoxious anyway.

        Did you feel cheated because you wanted a happy ending of sorts?

      • Jarv says :

        Leaving Fallen alone for a second, here are some of the stupid suggestions from the Guardian’s Readership:

        Alien.
        Avatar (Because it’s anti-disabled, or something)
        Don’t Look Now
        Blazing Saddles

      • Jarv says :

        A really bad ending, though:

        Source Code.

        RUBBISH. And it shattered it’s own rules.

      • Droid says :

        You know I agree with this one.

      • Jarv says :

        I’ve just seen it nominated on that Guardian thread. I’m still staggered that someone could say that Alien has a bad ending.

      • Droid says :

        1. Voiceover while running.

        The Demon is running for his life. Logic applied to this scenario tells us that he doesn’t know the magic cat is around. Therefore, he doesn’t know to tell us that it’s the time he “almost died”. So, using said logic, we move onto…

        2. Voiceover after possessing cat.

        Since all of the individuals previously possessed speak with their own voice, logic tells us that a conveniently located house cat would not speak with Denzel’s voice.

        It’s quite simple really. A film establishes rules. This one does, and then ignores them.

      • Droid says :

        I wanted an end that was logical. You could easily do it for Fallen. Remove voiceover, as it’s not needed at all. End film with Denzel outsmarting the demon.

        To me, that’s a satisfying ending, sans cat.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s logical, because the film is about the demon. It’s even called “Fallen” as in Fallen Angel.

        I would find it illogical that Denzel would outsmart the demon using a plan that already failed, and the demon knows it failed. That’s more of a failure than what happened.

      • Droid says :

        When had the plan “already failed”?

      • Jarv says :

        It was the same exact plan that the old guy that owned the cabin used, and it failed to kill the demon that time. The film even says it.

        This is a far bigger problem.

      • Jarv says :

        Alright then, if you want to nitpick, he’s narrating in the last human voice he had.

        I’ve genuinely no problem at all with this.

        On a more interesting note, this may be the most stupid person on the internet:

        No Country For Old Men is the best film of the last ten years. Drive is second to it.

        Kill List was a piece of shit from start to finish.

        Every film with Nicholas Cage has a bad start, bad middle and bad ending. I’d rather slam my balls in a drawer than watch that twat for 2 hours!

      • Jarv says :

        Because it’s artificial, and not fitting. We’ve already seen how the story should end for Red, yet all of a sudden he’s able to find a specific rock in a specific field (one of many) and then break bail to travel to mexico.

        It’s phony.

      • Droid says :

        He has directions. He has knowledge built over 20 years (we can safely assume from a story told to him on more than one occasion). I don’t find it so hard to believe. Nor do I find it hard to believe that he could skip bail and go to Mexico.

        – The destination is established earlier in the film.
        – Red has enough knowledge and instructions to find the rock (a specific kind of rock, which is also established earlier).
        – What Red finds under the rock gives him further knowledge as well as finances for skipping bail.

        It’s not phony. It’s not artificial. It’s established satisfactorily throughout the film.

        Whether it’s the right ending for the film, well that’s something that can be debated. But it’s not an ending that cheats the audience.

      • Jarv says :

        I always think it is a cheat. He’s an old geezer on probation who manages to hitch hike on minimal directions to the middle of nowhere to find a specific rock in a specific field (totally ignores the chance of what’s under the rock having been discovered by the farmer etc).

        I also think it’s the wrong end to the film as well.

      • Droid says :

        Nah, it’s not a cheat. For the reasons I just stated. You think it is based on assumptions.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s highly implausible. To say the least. We’ll have to agree to differ, but it’s an ending that I detest and only partially because I think it cheats.

      • Droid says :

        The Road is solid, both film and ending.

        I didn’t find the the No Country ending hugely dissatisfying because Brolin isn’t the main character, and the focus of the story wasn’t on him. He’s really just the mechanism that moves the plot.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah didn’t like The Road too repetitive with a shit ending.

      • Jarv says :

        I didn’t like the book either, so meh, my own fault for watching it.

      • Droid says :

        The No Country one is totally wrong as well. Brolins not the main character.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        there is nothing good about Shawshank its a badly made blatantly manipulative piece of shit and everybody involved in needs to be beaten with a sackful of kittens.

      • kloipy says :

        Gotta disagree about Shawshank. I think the ending as it stands is perfect. You could have ended with Red on the bus which it does in the book, but I enjoy the end because they don’t say anything to each other because the words aren’t needed. I think it’s just the satisfaction of seeing two friends together again after the long struggle, thus completing the theme of the power of hope. If it would have left with Red on the bus, it’s a more dour note, you wouldn’t know if he was going to see Andy or just leaving town, and as that is good as well, I think the ending is a release for the characters and the audience.

        Is Shawshank manipulative? Probably. But I think it’s also an amazing film that seems to speak to pretty much anybody from any walk of life.

      • Jarv says :

        Got to disagree with your disagreement. The theme of hope survives intact without the soft focus love on a boat scene. The natural end to the film is red on the bus.

        I don’t think the film needs it, and if anything it leaves a bit of a sour note with me, because it’s too much.

      • Droid says :

        It could have ended with Red on the bus heading for the border, turning over the postcard in his hand and looking wistfully out the window. We know where he’s headed and it would’ve avoided Jarv seeing two men walk towards each other on a beach.

      • Jarv says :

        With cheesy music, soft focus and patronising voiceover as well.

        It’s just so, so manipulative.

      • Droid says :

        What soft focus? Where you not wearing your glasses at that point?

      • Droid says :

        Ah, I know. You thought it was soft focus because you’d been bawling your eyes out. It does pack an emotional punch that film.

      • kloipy says :

        HOW DARE YOU DISAGREE WITH MY DISAGREEMENT OF YOUR DISAGREEMENT!

        But I think it earns the ending it has.

        Also I agree with Droid on NCFOM

    • tombando says :

      So, according to what you two are saying here: Shawshank ended with a possessed Garfield Kat w/ Denzel’s voice found lurking around a big rock in a field, seems to me. I kinda think I missed that part-

      At least find a place for some lions-

  20. Droid says :

    Because the kitchen is the first place you think of to decant petrol.

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/mar/30/woman-petrol-burns-york-fire

  21. Xiphos0311 says :

    Is Shawshank manipulative? Probably. But I think it’s also an amazing film that seems to speak to pretty much anybody from any walk of life.

    Yeah Shawshank is amazing an amazing piece of shit and one of the few movies I use the word hate for. I fucking hate that shit pile, it makes me violent I hate it so much with its fake saccharine horseshit filled manipulative feelings crap that are at the level of a soap opera. Everybody involved in the nausea inducing movie should hang their head in shame.

  22. tombando says :

    Weekend viewing so far:
    The Departed: Leo, Matt, Jaack etc. Still holds up well. Gotta like that cast.

    Heat: Al and Bob and Val. Only debits? Slowish and too long. But it works great. Sizemore was all over the place back then wasnt he?

  23. Bartleby says :

    Catching up…

    movie endings: I had no problem with Shawshank, No Country or Fallen endings.

    NCFOM is true to the book and like what has already been said, Brolin’s character is only partial protagonist, and it doesn’t ruin the film as much as confound our expectatons.

    Shawshank–ending sat perfectly fine for me. Brooks’ end shouldnt be assumed to be Red’s end. The point is that Andy made it so that, Zuwatenejo or no, Red would never end up like Brooks, because of hope. There’s no soft focus on the final scene, it;s filmed the same as the rest. The last line of the movie is the same as the novella: ‘I hope.’ While I believe that the general intent there was for the last scene (just the beach segment) to be literal, if you aren’t happy with it, then just treat it as the visualization of Red’s hope. Walking up to his old friend on the beach, working on a boat, is the image that Red is keeping alive in his mind. It’s that image that lets him break the parole, attempt to get across the border, etc. The film works either way with either ending.

    Fallen–Not getting the gripe here either, other than the complaint it’s a downer ending (I felt like you did this with Buried too). With Fallen, when he first goes to the cabin in the woods, and discovers the word ‘Azazel’ written on the wall,the cat runs out of from under the cabin, chasing a mouse or something–it’s clearly in the midst of scavenging or hunting. So, it’s established the cat is there, and that it’s finding a way to live. The last scene, he doesnt go flying through the woods, the spirt goes up and then under the house, and then cat walks out from underneath the house and Azazel says ‘I guess he didnt think of everything’. And I have no problem with him possessing a cat for the following reason: Azazel is a fallen angel within a Judeo-Christian world view. It’s mentioned that he moves as spirit, and shows all the earmarks of demons in those old scriptures. ‘Legion’, the blblical demons that usually serves as a reference point in movies like this, possess a herd of swine and run off a cliff. I don’t need an extra line pointing out he can do it.

    Yes, the Hobbes narration is a cheat, but it doesn’t bother me greatly. Once I picked up that the antagonist was a demon, I started paying attention to the narration, and it’s been written to reflect that he is a demon, outside of even ‘the time I almost died’. However, he does say ‘Im Detective John Hobbes’. Explanation for this, and the adoption of the voice, is he’s telling a story and you assume for effect, he’s adopting an appropriate voice for the story. It’s like any other narratior saying, Let’s go back. I’m a junior in college, or Im an assuming kid, or whatever. For Azazel, he’s detective john hobbes at that time that story was happening.

  24. tombando says :

    Three more:

    Big Robots Hitting Each Other lll, Chicago Boogaloo. Still like it despite awful humnoids first hour plus.

    Thor: Just saw it, likeable B movie. Branagh did a fine job as director. The silly helmet ratio was very high however. Looked like beetles. Better than it should be.

    Michael Clayton: one of Clooneys best. Check this one out.

  25. koutchboom says :

    Well Droid…you did say you were looking for something different. Hope the move is going well.

    http://blogs.indiewire.com/theplaylist/watch-teaser-for-secret-in-their-eyes-director-juan-jose-campanellas-animated-foosball

  26. Xiphos0311 says :

    Season 2 of Games of Yawns premiers tonight hopefully they found a way to move it past the sleep inducingness of most of season 1 when The Wall and and The Dink weren’t on screen.

    • Bartleby says :

      you see friday’s supernatural Xi?

      It was a good one again. The return of DJ Qualls and a demon you can only see drunk. Nothing at all to do with the main mythology–other than some Bobby related business–and that probably improved it.

  27. tombando says :

    And the rest of the viewing:

    Body of Lies: 2008 w Leo and Crowe. A not bad mideast lets get the terrorists Ridley Scott time filler. It tanked in its release, you can see why. Not the greatest but its watchable. A film now forgotten.

    Gran Torino. Clint plays retired Dirty Harry as Mr Miyagi, wanting to go out as the Duke in the Shootist. Well handled hmong, shot in Detroit Lion in Winter movie. A surprisingly big hit and deservedly so.

  28. koutchboom says :

    I’m feeling it.

  29. Bartleby says :

    ok, now I see it. no thanks. It’s guilty of what you are always saying about everything else; been there done that. To the point of near deja vu. Total Recall 90 mixed with Minority Report, Imposter, The Island. Not a single thing doesnt look completely lifted.

    A bit too Underworld slick in the action. I like ferrell, but aside from being interested to see what he’d do with this, this first trailer doesn’t have my attention.

  30. koutchboom says :

    Well this doesn’t really match up with the TV spots and trailers we’ve seen.

    http://www.watertower-music.com/releases_spotlight.php?search=WTM39283

    • Jarv says :

      Will watch it later.

      Am absolutely fucked- been moving furniture this week and am now in bits.

      • Droid says :

        Where have you been moving furniture to?

      • Jarv says :

        Just fucking finished. Am in absolute agony.

        Had to empty 4 floors of classrooms from our new building. Was rancid and I think I’ve Donald ducked my back today.

        Working from home for the rest of the day and tomorrow.

        Was meant to be off, but shifting this crap (including two libraries) has sucked up my time.

    • koutchboom says :

      What are you watching? That’s a link to a soundtrack.

  31. Droid says :

    Moving house is a pain in the ass. Anyway, watched The Lavender Hill Mob, which was fun. Also started season four of Dexter. Not too bad.

    Jonah, you up to date with Fringe now? If you are, what did you think of the last episode? I liked the switch in direction the storyline is taking, and there’s some promise of fun baddies. Looks like they’re moving away from the alternate universe storyline. Maybe because they need to cut costs if they’re to get a season five. Apart from the utterly dreadful first 3 or 4 episodes, season four has been good.

    • tombando says :

      Moving sucks under the best of conditions. Either you or Jarv ever see Body of Lies w Leo and Crowe?

      • Droid says :

        Indeed it is, Bando.

        I have seen BOL, and overall I thought it was solid. Not great, but kept me entertained and I liked Mark Strongs performance. Good to see Aussie Vince Colosimo in there as the local CIA operative. Leo was okay and Rusty was entertaining, although I did wonder what the hell he was doing in that role. I guess since JT Walsh died those roles are up for grabs and Rusty was hell bent on being in every single Ridley movie.

      • tombando says :

        Dang thats right, it Was a JT Walsh role! You miss that guy. I liked him. Mark Strong was very good yes.

      • Droid says :

        I was a fan of JT. He elevated the basic “prick” role to sublime perfection. I also liked him in A Few Good Men, in one of his few (from memory) non-bad guy roles.

      • tombando says :

        Walsh was great in ‘Breakdown’ too, remember from ’97 w/ Kurt Russell?

      • Droid says :

        I do. Great film. And one of his sneeriest performances. When Kurt confronts him in the kitchen at gun point towards the end, it’s an all out sneerfest from ol’ JT.

    • Bartleby says :

      Im liking the direction Fringe is going…Im not sure that SPOILER ship full of beasties is going to help with cost-cutting SPOILER but Im ready for that storyline. It’s a nice change-up.

      • Droid says :

        The thing about the SPOILER ship full of beasties END SPOILER is that they don’t have to alternate mid episode between two different versions of the show. So all the expense that goes into creating the look of the alternate universe is gone. No, it’s not a dramatic downsize, but I have no doubt that will save some much needed dosh.

      • Droid says :

        I also like the return this season of David Robert Jones as a bad guy. Good character and actor.

      • Bartleby says :

        you know, that’s a good point that for some reason I didnt think about… to be honest the alternate reality stuff is so well done on the show that Im not always thinking about all the work that obviously goes in to make it happen.

        Yes, whats cool about Jones and the beasties, is that unlike Supernatural, they arent out of nowhere, they have been established in the early seasons and so it looks like a return to roots instead of a ‘wtf’ out of nowhere plot contrivance.

      • Bartleby says :

        Walsh was great even in garbage. I still remember him mewling ‘I’ve killed my wife. Is that wrong?” in Needful Things.

        He was good too in Pleasantville..the look on his face when be bursts into color was the most honest thing in that movie.

      • Droid says :

        JT had the best sneer in the biz.

  32. Droid says :

    The Total Recall trailer hasn’t really done much for me either. They reveal the wife thing in the trailer. That was a nice twist in the Arnie movie and should’ve remained hidden for newcomers. And that rotating shot when he Jason Bourne’s the stormtroopers looks like overdirected shit.

    I do like Farrell, and won’t rule this one out completely, but it doesn’t seem to have the imagination that Verhoevens movie did. It looks like a very calculated update of the Arnie version, with stuff like the “two weeks” mask being updated to “cool” hologram tech or something. Kids love “cool” tech.

    And it definitely won’t have anything near the awesomeness of three boobed hookers or promises of seeing Richter at the party.

    • Bartleby says :

      it just feels so unnecesarry, because its still not really following Philip K Dick, but the original Total Recall movie and, seemingly, Minority Report. Odd to see Farrell on the other side of the trackers this time. There’s nothing in it that really screams ‘watch me’. Why is Farrell on the remake train suddenly?

      Saw Iron Sky. Trying to write it up for my first of the birthday series.

  33. Bartleby says :

    just threw up in my mouth. Pay attention to that list:

    ‘The Hunger Games will become a hit because audiences have no memory of Running Man and Death Race–or even the egregious Slumdog. And if they can’t reference Spielberg, Keaton, Luc Besson, Walter Hill, Paul W.S. Anderson, Eisenstein, Peckinpah, Renoir, Welles, Clair, Gance, Mizoguchi, Kurosawa, Dreyer, DePalma, Boorman–all masters of action and montage–they won’t know how to respond to Ross’ overwrought and under-thought presentation of politics and violence.

  34. Bartleby says :

    it’s our buddy Armond White, who earlier said

    ‘Ross and Collins’ premise follows The Running Man, Slumdog Millionaire and Paul W.S. Anderson’s brilliant, visceral Death Race remake, pop culture precedents that should have given Ross and his pre-sold audience higher standards and a skeptical edge.’

    he’s also go this on JC:
    ‘He expands on themes of dystopia through examples borrowed form antiquity epics (John Carter’s circuitous plotting of the Martian’s own civil war) parallels America’s historical conflict to prognostication of future/contemporary moral and political issues (a brilliant strategy in Jonah Hex and classically dramatized in the quasi-Shakespearean Chronicles of Riddick).

    • Bartleby says :

      I think I almost like him… who else has balls enough to make up such elitist BS and then leave Mad Libs like spaces to interject examples of the worst pop culture garbage recently released.

      • Droid says :

        I bet it’s a character the guys made up. He’s made up a character who’s who makes absurdly outrageous statements that get him noticed. It’s worked because it gets him read.

      • Bartleby says :

        m starting to think that too, because for years he’s been a decent reviewer of indie/arthouse fare, and he’s a reasonable writer but no one paid attention to him. As soon as he started melding his (not inconsiderable) film knowledge with gobbletygook elitism meets multiplex pot-smoker, he suddenly got noticed. Not a bad gig. If he’s on the level though, dude is just insane.

    • koutchboom says :

      I didn’t fully get Armond’s John Carter review, but I respect him because he seems to be going to real showings of the movies these days and he’s right about this:

      When this happens, fan boy snark becomes its own self-snarking prophecy. Their tactless refusal to let Stanton grow as an artist parallels their failure to see in Wall-E what he lacked as an artist. Now they condemn him for the very hackery he always exhibited. This way fan boys (and critics) always feel superior; they turn their backs on filmmakers they previously praised. Call it the George Lucas Syndrome. Or call it 3D Backlash.

      • Bartleby says :

        Actually he couldn’t be more wrong there. That’s the part where I have to believe he’s playing at a ‘cartoon’ instead of a person. He’s wrong about Wall-E being hackery. I know very few who actually think that—even the ones who don’t persay like it—and he’s doubly wrong about fanboys snarking at Stanton for being a hack. Most of the ‘fanboys’, as Armond means the term, gave JC solid reviews and those who didn’t weren’t citing AS for hackery.

        Almost all of the issues I’ve seen directed towards JC are that it didn’t effectively stick the story—the structure wasn’t right, it was pulling together too many things. Ironically, if Stanton had stuck to his Pixar guns and storytelling style, the movie probably would have been better.

        Armond is wrong even according to his own rules, even if everyone felt the same way about Wall-E that he did. P.S. They didn’t. Unfortunately, his one accurate premise; that fanboys turn their back on those they used to worship is marred by a terrible example. George Lucas and Phantom Menace.

      • koutchboom says :

        No he’s right about fan boy snark.

      • Jarv says :

        He’s wrong.

        Only a douchebag (probably of the hipster kind) would call Wall-E Hackery

  35. Just Pillow Talk says :

    Watched Real Steel last night….wasn’t crazy about it. Ultra-cheesy for sure, but I could care less about the characters and thought Hugh really wasn’t that good.

  36. Droid says :

    I wouldn’t exactly call an innings of 61 “silencing critics”. You’d need to add a 1 to the front of that score to begin to do that after the form he’s been in.

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/blog/2012/apr/04/england-captain-andrew-strauss-critics

  37. Droid says :

    Misfires and waning popularity = Sequel to early hit.

    http://www.theage.com.au/entertainment/movies/dumb-and-dumber-set-for-sequel-20120403-1waia.html

    Lauren Holly should be in it too.

  38. Droid says :

    The Darkest Hour is complete and utter shit. Fuck this movie.

  39. koutchboom says :

    So somewhere between Wrath of the Titans and Battle: LA is the perfect movie. Hopefully TMNT will be it.

    Wrath is an odd movie, had you told me it’s a remake of Clash I probably would’ve liked it more, and I did really like it. Really Clash is the reason it’s so odd, because it does hit SOOOO many of the same beats as that movie it feels so flat. But man Wrath is one of the best looking movies I’ve ever seen, it’s amazing to me that it cost 100 mill less than John Carter I would’ve assumed 100 million more. Also just going off initial notion I like Clash better just because it had a bigger sense of grander journey, the movie felt like it was 2 weeks to a month long while Wrath felt like it was two days tops and it should’ve felt a little bit longer given it’s plot.

    Taken on their own though Wrath is the better movie, it’s just such a rehash of the same plot points and beats that it feels odd. Also getting rid of his wife stifles any momentum that plot had. And the non existent score didn’t help, and I’ve heard the score it’s pretty solid not amazing.

    It’s funny to think if Lesbian had been given John Carter how he probably would’ve been able to craft something truly amazing with that story (assuming he got Sam for the role not that other thing), especially visually speaking (fuck Wrath looks like it takes place more on Mars than Carter did). And Stanton could’ve made a fun sequel with something slightly different in plot to Clash but much more similar in vibe and visual continuity.

    • Bartleby says :

      Hmm, I watched Clash (81) and Clash (10) and Wrath back to back (well original the day before and then the two new ones same day), and I personally think Wrath is the best of the three movies.

      The original has the nostalgia card with me, and the creatures have a ton of charm (yes, Bubo included) but Hamlin and co, especially Olivier, are mugging so hard as to bypass campy and become hokey. Im surprised too, how haphazard the plotting is in that one, and how the God segments actually interfere with Perseus’ story. It’s fun, but it wouldn’t be worth mentioning without Harryhausen’s visuals, which were out-of-date but nostalgic when the film was made. You mention the same plot beats between Clash and Wrath. I’d argue these beats all come, ultimately, from Jason and the Argonauts (possibly the best of this type of movie) and are typical of this type of quest movie.

      It’s funny that you mention grandeur when talking about Clash 2010 because I thought that was the major area that film was lacking—a sense of wonder and grandness, and some pacing that gave us some geography and sense of things. How, for instance, do the guys on the sluggish scorpion beat Perseus, on Pegasus, back to Argos? Worthington is a meat stick in that movie, with no variation. The creatures are decent, but not particularly memorable. Until I rewatched it I couldn’t tell you a thing about the medusa in this version, while the 81 Medusa is burned into my brain. The IO storyline is clearly muddled, without a clear direction as to what her relationship is to him. I blame the test screenings and subsequent cuts for that. I think upon a rewatch Clash was fun, but it’s more of an ‘alright, that didn’t totally suck’ and not a ‘hooya! This is great!’ Of interest to those who talk about what the unedited cut might have been like. It’s actually on the blu-ray of the movie, just not in an ‘alternate cut’ form, but it’s been packed into the deleted scenes. The problem is that while those deleted scenes paint a much different picture—Perseus saves Andromeda from drowning and they share a kiss, Luke Evans plays the role of helper, not Zeus, who is consistently pissed at Perseus from beginning to end (Perseus refusing him and flying off in the end, Io presumably still dead) and there’s so much extra Gods stuff, most of it featuring Evans in his golden outfit, that it literally feels like they took it and put it into Immortals. It’s amazing how similar to the two seem with that extra footage in there. Theres a little more Io stuff, and more emphasis on the Gods being rapists and usurpers (in stories, not in filmed action). At the end of the day, though, it makes it only mildly better. Im just not a fan of the us vs Gods storyline because they never pay it off..

      Which is why I thought Wrath was an improvementin every way. It’s still not a great movie—but it’s a very good popcorn one and it does look fantastic as Koutch says—but it’s a more involving one. I thought the scope was better, the creatures much better, and most importantly I like that it broke the tradition of having the Gods be art gala layabouts who stand around and whinge the whole movie long. This is one of the first Greek myth movies I can think of where the Gods themselves have actual stakes in the story and are trying to take action themselves instead of waiting for the humans. The drama with Zeus and Hades was better, and Worthington was better too. All over, was just a solid popcorn movie in my estimation.

      • Droid says :

        I wouldn’t call Sam a meatstick in Clash. It’s an underwritten, over serious character and he’s not the type of actor that will lay on the charm through sheer strength of personality. Rewatching it, he does a decent job, but a lot of it is very contained and maybe a little too earnest. It might have been better with a more expressive actor, but it wasn’t a bad performance per se.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah maybe sense of grandeur isn’t the right word, time passing maybe? It actually felt like a journey in Clash. Yeah the Gods were much better in Wrath in their involvement. Also I forgot to mention Sam’s brother in the movie….I didn’t like him. It was too much blah blah dour dour downplaying of the gods you needed some young upstart to shake things up. When you already got the Schindler List crew downplaying it, as well as the Houston family member I think that other guy should’ve been someone more excitable, it made them all run together. Someone like Vincent Gallo would have been really cool in that role, or if they wanted to keep it south of the border they could’ve gotten one of the two Mexican butt buddy actors.

        And I said Wrath is better than Clash it’s just I enjoyed Clash a little more for some reason, maybe if I watch it again that’ll change. It’s just from what I recall Clash was more of a fun jaunty adventure movie closer to The Mummy than Battle LA. I was a little tired during Wrath which never helps and the labyrinth scene wasn’t as exciting as I hoped (Immortals Minotaur battle was better), but luckily after that Wrath really picks up.

      • Bartleby says :

        ‘meatstick’ is how he came off to me. It wasnt a bad performance, but it was a stiff one, very reserved and sometimes awkward. I mostly blame the writing for that and what they asked him to do. It doesnt m,atter though because he puts in what Id actually call a good perofrmance –considering the material–in Wrath.

        I wrote this in my review: ‘As Perseus, Worthington has stepped up his game, giving an actual performance that breathes a little humanity into the demi-god.The decision to let him use his own Aussie accent is actually a good one. He’s more relaxed and more willing to be self-effacing and campy.

      • Bartleby says :

        You know what was really good in Wrath? Pegasus. Visually, he was far more expressive than the first time, and he was more realistic too. And Liebesman gave him flying scenes that really looked like a horse winging through the clouds. This time Worthington actually had some comraderie with him (which is part of the better acting I mentioned), and he’s interacting with him like he’s more than an effect ( I know in most scenes from both movies he was a real horse). When he lands and makes some comment about the dodgy flying, I liked how Pegasus thwaps him with his wing.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah Pegasus was really good, though I wanted more of him. I’m gonna try to get a copy of Clash this week, my wife loved Wrath and now wants to see Clash and then we are going to see Wrath again, I’ll try to be less tired. This reminds me of Tron when I saw it way tired and knew there was a great movie in there, saw it again less tired and really liked it.

        NOW GREEN LANTERN….I rewatched this the other night, I came in about 20 minutes late and while it didn’t make a world of difference it makes me hate the movie a lot less. There is only a harkening back to his fathers death and since I missed it you make it up in your mind what happened. But it’s still a fucking awful movie and it DIES every second it’s not just Ryan by himself, the Aliens or Peter. The second they put that cypher of a human on the screen or his buddy all life is sucked out of the movie. Cut out that first 20 minutes (which in all honestly doesn’t add anything you can piece together everything else without it and it’s a stupefyingly dumb semi fun movie. God there is some really daffy shit in that movie. Like after the big fight between Pete and Ryan…well the start of it, Ryan just magically knows to show up there (i know it’s hinted at about the ring but it’s not correctly portrayed in the movie how that works). Then right after the fight and Robbins is burnt to death Ryan and thing and buddy are just chilling in his apartment? THEN SLAM CUT to Peter being asleep? OK….. Then the next scene again Ryan magically knows where to find Peter doing bad things and this time Peter is in a wheel chair at the top of a stairs that don’t seem to have an obviously visible wheel chair ramp. But yeah it’s still Pete’s best performance since the Dying Gaul. Had it just been him and Ryan it could’ve been just dumb fun but my god that being and his buddy are sooooo fucking awful.

        Also other dumb stuff in it is Clark Duncan acting like he’s a drill instructor then only works with Ryan for an obvious five minutes (they seriously could’ve put a montage in there it never hurts in a comic book movie when they are learning their skills, Daredevil masterfully does this), that or turn it into some urgent thing like “eh I only got five minutes to teach you everything you need to know”. Then later on, OH yeah this is right after the chillax session in his apartment he just shows up on OA out of nowhere? Then back to the hanger? OK. It seriously feels like an ‘EDITED FOR TIME’ movie are something it’s so stupid.

        FINALLY the big matchbox helio save scene, I love how the helio has to kill like 100 people before Ryan does anything about it. Man I think I have to give the edge to Green Lantern for being the worst comic book movie just because it’s so poorly constructed, IM2 was just boring and other comic book movies you guys hate at least for the most part they are coherent they just are sort of dumb.

      • Bartleby says :

        Ive not watched green lantern since the theater..it was a disappointment, but I didn’t hate it. I did see some of green hornet the other day, and that was pretty harmless–looked better than when I saw it in crappy 3D–but still don’t like it that much.

        K, you have any interest in Cabin in the Woods? It surprised me in how good it was. In other news, The Raven was a bit of a disappointment. Droid is pretty much right about it, unfortunately.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah gonna see Cabin, wife is actually interested as well so that’ll be an easy sell. Sucks about Raven….but seeing how I seem do be the only one who had dumb house fun with Ninja Ass…..eh. Is From Hell better than Raven? Because I really dug From Hell, last time Johnathan Depp gave us a reason for him to be alive.

      • Bartleby says :

        unfortunately, that’s the movie I kept comparing it to. I actually also liked from hell and it doesnt do raven favors in the comparison, because it clearly seems like the template. I mostly blame the writing and lack of scope on the story. It’s not a complete botch job, but it’s a gross abuse of the resources, and not very Poe-like.

      • koutchboom says :

        Sucks. There’s been oddly little promotion of it, also hearing from Droid about how there seemed to be no promotion of it there wonder what the fuck happened behind the scenes.

  40. koutchboom says :

    And speaking of terrible:

    http://www.aintitcool.com/node/54738

    WHO the fuck is that for? If Harry was smart he could’ve turned that whole idea into some kids show about exploring the history of movies and the evolution of shit. But instead it’s this condescending dickheaded of a show. And it’s not for kids because he says fuck in it.

    • Bartleby says :

      thats weird, but honestly, thats what AICN probably should have become almost a decade ago…Harry’s pretend stint as great hollywood insider and mover and shaker was never genuine. fat weirdo sitting amidst a bunch of memorabilia arguing with a cantankerous boiler is just about what I imagine the ‘REAL’ Harry to be.

    • kloipy says :

      Oh man, I saw that earlier. TERRIBLE. Dude has a face for radio and a voice for silent film. I don’t want to watch some man-child slither around a basement. I feel bad for the actuall writers on that site

      • koutchboom says :

        It’s just so creepy. Like I get the idea of being a man child that’s fine but to like go ALL OUT with it and make a child’s show FOR man children? Ehhhh ok. It seriously could’ve been something interesting if he turned it into a full fledged kids show, but his condescending attitude and cuss words ruin any hope of that. Also the whole LOOK AT ME ATTITUDE ABOUT IT with his movie props is lame. Like if he was more like THIS IS A PROP from blah blah and some how made a connection of how that translates into modern cinema that would be interesting. But just LOOK AT THIS PROP I HAVE!! IT’S FROM THIS MOVIE!!! HOW COOL IS THAT! I HAVE STUFF! NOW LOOK AT THIS OTHER THING I GOT! NOW LISTEN TO MY OPINIONS NOT YOUR OWN!

        If he wanted to make something relevant to the man children on his site, he’d have like five dudes just fucking screaming at each other in front of a live audience and then let the audience decide who had the better argument. This notion of wanting to be some sappy dork thing is fucking lame. And some nice and conservative Ebert and Roper like discussion of film doesn’t equal the site of Harry’s idea’s of how to discuss film.

        In reality that Comic Book Men Show is a much much better concept of this same idea. And doesn’t talk down to the audience and is made for man children with out having a creepy dude in a basement acting like a child feel about it.

      • kloipy says :

        that’s what I thought once he started cursing. Who is this for? It certainly isn’t for me. I don’t care that he’s trying something different, but do I really want to watch a show were he brings on his celebrity friends to parade around and show his fucking toys. ‘I have the Kong bomb, should be on display but I HAVE IT’. Good for you Harry. Show us more of your pwesents. He should of called it Tales from the Merch Cart that Ran Me Over

      • Bartleby says :

        lets be fair though. even in the darkest recesses of the 70s and the oddest, most diseased parts of the 80s, no one would have ever let their children watch that ‘thing’ on television for more than five minutes.

        Just think of him as H.K. Puff’n’stuffed.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well yeah he’s a terribly creepy looking host (but he’s still better than that Chris Hardwick Nerdist fuck, whenever I see him I just want to ram his face into the pavement over and over and over and over again), and my parents never gave a shit about what I saw on TV (except for Basic Instinct that’s like the only time I recall of them not letting me see something). It’s also sort of sad because all this bullshit about him getting better I was half hoping he would show the world that he finally learned how to walk. There’s a nugget of an idea there that’s been horribly turned into ME ME ME PWESENTS.

        Take the show Movie Magic I still remember seeing a couple of episode as a kid and how cool I thought it was. He could’ve worked on something more like that if he wanted it for older crowds. Because there was some show on the science channel recently called Science of the Movies that was kind of cool but the host was fucking annoying. And that Canadian show Stunt Stars that only lasted like 13 episodes was sort of boring, you ever wanted to NOT MAKE A MOVIE….watch that show jesus.

        This show makes the tedious and boring stuff interesting

    • Bartleby says :

      and yea, I wasnt condoning the idea…just that it seems like this is what he’s really been all this time anyway. Forget the pretense that gets him occassional–and oh so brief–sound bytes and video clips on E.T. and indie docus, this is what AICN and Knowles are really about.

      It’s disturbing, but not enough to be fascinating. I found myself looking away pretty early.

    • tombando says :

      Train wreck train wreck train wreck train wreck train wreck train wreck train wreck train wreck train wreck train wreck

  41. tombando says :

    Fun stuff just because…

  42. kloipy says :

    My post about my childhood influences got fresh pressed today. it’s crazy on my dashboard right now haha

    • Jarv says :

      Nice one. We’ve never managed that. Possibly due to bad sweary words.

      • kloipy says :

        up to 1600 views already, this is crazy

      • Jarv says :

        Yeah, It’ll get up to about 20Kish.

      • koutchboom says :

        Each weekday, we select about ten new blog posts for the Freshly Pressed section of the WordPress.com homepage. These posts represent how WordPress can be used to entertain, enlighten, or inspire.

        Getting promoted to Freshly Pressed is a major traffic win because WordPress.com receives a high volume of page views. And, we have a feed set up so people can subscribe to Freshly Pressed. Why do we do all this? It’s our way of saying we like you. We really like you.

        So, by now you might be wondering how to get featured. It’s all about the content. Here are five bits o’ advice that will increase your chances of landing on the homepage:

        1. Write unique content that’s free of bad stuff.

        Each post that makes it to Freshly Pressed contains original content created by the WordPress user. Bad stuff includes (but isn’t limited to) plagiarism, hate speech, fear-mongering, adult/mature content, improperly used images that belong to someone else, spam or content that is primarily advertorial.

        Yeah that’s the problem here.

      • Jarv says :

        Each post that makes it to Freshly Pressed contains original content created by the WordPress user. Bad stuff includes (but isn’t limited to) plagiarism, hate speech, fear-mongering, adult/mature content, improperly used images that belong to someone else, spam or content that is primarily advertorial.

        To be honest, we’re not that bad. But clearly too adult/ mature for Freshly pressed.

  43. ThereWolf says :

    ‘The Incredible Shrinking Fucking Woman’…

    I’ve turned it off. I’ve got to turn it back on again if I’m reviewing it. I don’t want to. You can’t make me.

  44. Xiphos0311 says :

    Game of Yawns first episode of its new season has lived up to its well earned moniker. If you are having trouble sleeping put it on you’ll be out like a light. The Dink was good though I do I have to mention that.

    Congrats internet nerds your unbroken streak of championing shit shows continues you are nothing if not wholly predictable in your bad taste.

    • Jarv says :

      I quite liked GoT.

      Not enough to get excited about it, but it was OK.

      Interestingly, I see you’ve got a review of Homeland scheduled. Can I be first to call it complete and utter shit?

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        did you “quite like” the new ep or last season?

        No you can’t be first since i did that already in the review. however you may be first to say it here!

  45. Xiphos0311 says :

    It seems that Hollywood is dead set on ruining Don Winslow book Savages by casting Blake Lively in it. To be fair though the book did have one of the all time worst endings in liturature so I guess casting that untalented slat of wood can’t do much harm. Its too bad really the book was pretty damn good until the ending. Maybe the movie came up with a better ending like they did in The Prestige.

  46. Toadkillerdog says :

    Sweeeeet! Nice refresh on the digs!
    Great job Jarv

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