Burt Gummer’s Rec Room March 2013 archive
A gathering place for paranoid survivalists and those who worship at the Church of Chang
March 2013, Winter’s hanging tough, and I’m waiting for the next stage of graboid evolution
Disclaimer: This is the part of the Church that is the most no holds barred. None of it is intended with malice, and although it can on occasion seem a little bit fraught, it is banter rather than venom. So, be warned that this is like taking a naked swim in a piranha tank and not recommended for the faint of heart.
Barfy
kloipy
Echo the Bunnyman
Judge Droid
Jarv
ThereWolf
Xiphos0311
Werewolves On The Moon 
Jonah- sent you the dead mine review. Forgot to say, it was released in the UK on the 13th.
Kiwis still not making England play, and England unwilling to chase it. Going to be a boring day.
What the hell are they playing at? trying to see of Boult?
Fuckssakes.
Even slower than Yesterday. What the fuck are they trying to achieve.
Shtbags.
Root out for 40 turgid runs. Got himself out too.
Prior and Bairstow and the tail to wag! Or just fuck it and declare and get bowling in these conditions.
Double fuckbags.
Golden quack for Prior.
May as well have a splosh now.
Nothing to lose really. And batting for a day for 30 more runs when you could get them quickly has to be worse.
Better do something, rather than this nothing shit they’ve tried for a day and a bit now.
Apparently the Lords outfield is slow as shit now after they relaid it post-Olympics.
This has been one of the worst England batting performances that I can remember at home in a long time.
Not in terms of runs scored, because it obviously isn’t up there with the collapses, but in terms of attitude, application and so forth. I’d rather they were all out Yesterday afternoon for 192 than have crawled to lunch today for 195-6. They could at least have bowled in the conditions. With rain forecast, this is a fucking DISGUSTING effort.
I have no idea what they’re playing at. Yes, the weather is filthy and the ball is moving, but it’s not as if they’re not used to that. It’s like each successive grinder has slowed his partner up. Even Bell and Bairstow have been slow.
Broad gone.
Lords has needed relaying for a couple of years now. They’re meant to do it every 7 and it’s well overdue. However, relaying it actually makes it more bowler friendly. This is a disgraceful pitch. Slow, low, boring.
It’ll be interesting to see what Jonny B does here. He’s actually (not that you’d know it from this innings) an attacking batsman. He’s running out of partners.
I’d have a go if I were him.
BOSH!
Swann.
Can’t bat for shit. He’s just going to have a swing.
Bairstow has to look for a boundary from his first few balls each over, then a single. Hussey was brilliant at this in his day.
Can’t help but think we should have selected Bresnan ahead of Finn.
Fuckssakes.
Single.
Bairstow, you cunt.
Bevan in the one dayers was the master. Hussey and Gilchrist in tests.
Yup. Gilchrist was great at it.
Email to the Guardian. In a nutshell this is what’s wrong:
Swann takes strike.
Weird.
Swanns out.
Yup.
I’ll be livid if Bairstow plays for his average now.
HIT OUT.
For fuck’s sake.
Just go after the spinner. Jesus there’s no excuse for this.
And we’re off again…
With a maiden.
Bairstow’s having a go.
And someone’s finally twigged that you have to hit it in the air. Halle-fucking-lujah.
This scorecard is pissing me off. All the top order got starts, but the run rate is horrific and none of them went on.
Finn gone.
That was inevitable.
England deserve to lose this.
All out 232. FUcking disgraceful.
JIMMY!!!
Clarke would have declared at Lunch. He’d have been right.
Ross Taylor has a strike rate of 80. Williamson has a strike rate of 13. Probably should even that out a bit.
England started well, but are bowling shit now.
Taylor got a couple of overs from Finn to score off.
This is a really good point- Anderson has the ball swinging and has ripped out both openers. So they take him off for Finn. Who was shit.
It’s because Cook isn’t a particularly good captain. At least, not yet.
I blame Strauss. Cook’s modelling his approach on Captaincy from Strauss, who was ludicrously conservative.
This would probably also explain why we have a batting line up with 4 Grafters in the top 6.
Cook’s pointlessly tinkering with his field now.
England’s craven batting being made to look stupid here by Taylor. Well, even more stupid. Finn bowling like a cunt isn’t helping, though.
Taylor’s motoring along. Good on him. Hope he goes on with it.
Yup. Really showing up England’s inept batting. Well, Bell’s (I let Bairstow off, because a) he was faster than Bell all innings, and b) he had to rebuild. Bell had no excuse).
Probably true. Cook seems like a conservative person in general.
7 down now.
Hee hee. The IGN 100 greatest villains has this description of a villain:
Cokey? That you?
Sad thing is I think I recognize that villain. MODOK, right?
That’s the one.
Random trivia… The Zombieland tv show pilot (which hasn’t been picked up BTW) was directed by the guy who did Tucker and Dale.
Surprised at that. Mind you the biggest difference in quality is down to the Script and Actors.
There’s a load of painfully unfunny jokes in Zombieland (vagina counting) that kill it stone dead
Of all the shitfests to get a sequel…
Oh for fuck’s sake. Kane or Centurion would have been better.
Kane is the one that could use a sequel. Not sure Centurion needs one.
Neil Marshall seems to be stuck in TV land. He’s directed the pilot to Black Sails, a pirate series produced by Michael Bay. Give him a movie, damn it!
Not centurion…that story is done…despite what the voiceover may say….
Yeah, it’s pissing me off.
Still maintain he should have had Alien 5
I feel the need… the need for furious speed!
Or… a furious need for speed, perhaps?
2nd best of the series. Fast Five still rules. But it’s set up for a good 7th.
The Iceman is not as good as advertised it’s good but not great lifted by a stellar performance by Michael Shannon. Trying to put a review together but it’s not working at the moment.
On the other hand I was completely blown away by Safety Not Guaranteed. Also not able to come up with review for this.
I love Safety Not Guaranteed. Awesome film. Nick from New GIrl is great so is Mark Duplass from the League.
Michael Shannon elevates every role he’s in
yeah it’s a fine flick I was really surprised how it got to me last weekend when I saw it. The movie stuck with me all week and I thought about it often. Unfortunately it hasn’t translated to the written word yet.
I’m looking forward to Iceman.
SNG is a top film. I think I gave it 3.5 when I reviewed it. Duplass was superb.
Don’t get me wrong its a very well made movie its just a couple of casting choices needed to be different because they brought to mind other movies or shows. I also thought they cleaned up the Iceman too much. I get that its Hollywood and they run scared easily but you dummies chose to make a movie about a bad dude no need to try and make him seem outwardly sympathetic. Show him for what he was which they mostly do but then they chicken out and follow on with the rote Hollywood way of doing business.
When did Whohasn’t Rodeher get so adult looking and so attractive? Is she Natalie Woods daughter? She’s almost the spitting image of NW now.
Very very good SN season finale lot’s of great stuff in it and some amazing visuals at the end. Even Sasquatch brother was good and usually he brings the show to a screeching halt.
The Office series finale on the hand…wasn’t….good…at all. However I did notice that the fire crotch English broad has big cans, so kudos for that.
The Office finale was in line with the quality of season 8 & 9. A bit crap. The show should have ended when Michael left. All that meta crap this season, with the doc crew and it airing etc just didn’t work.
SN is good again. Happy days.
I had some hope for the office finale since they put together a few very decent episodes this season. Plus that whole thing with Carroll claiming he wasn’t going to be on it was just so much BS and it bugged me. The Office made his bones and his fortune
It wasn’t just Carrell denying it. It was everyone associated with the show. I liked how Michael left and didn’t really need to see him again. And to trott him out for a “That’s what she said.” gag and not much else was poor. Anyway, it was a decent show for seasons 2-7, which is longer than many other sitcoms can boast.
Watching LXG (which the autocorrect keeps trying to make into “log”. Far more accurate)
The Hyde makeup really is awful
England show remarkable and unexpected efficiency to crush the kiwis.
Now watching broken embraces. Crap.
Kira Miró though has great Astrodyke potential.
Painful, agonising honk.
I had some hope for the office finale since they put together a few very decent episodes this season. Plus that whole thing with Carroll claiming he wasn’t going to be on it was just so much BS and it bugged me. The Office made his bones and his fortune
As far as SN goes the need to carry through with the promise of the finale. Sheppard needs to go full time on the show. Him and the writers have Crowley wired.
Why the fuck were you watching lxg?
Haven’t seen it in ages, and thought maybe it had improved with age and was a passable sunday movie.
It’s not. It’s turd.
Watched fast and furious 2 (shit) and fast and furious 4 (better).
Cannot believe trek 2 has been getting so many good reviews.
Just finished Jack Reacher….no nothing about the character, so in that context I certainly liked the flick well enough. Cruise is Cruise…the chick was awright as were the rest of the supporting players.
going to disagree entirely with you on Reacher. The story as boring and stupid with the dumb(and believe me the story was stupid) changes. The acting was awful, Cruise was Cruise which was the problem and the fat chick was terrible.
Cruise is just so totally wrong for the part. It actually annoys me a bit that Childs wanked on and on in the novels about Reacher’s size and then had the balls to say “oh, it’s not important” because the Scientology Midget was cast.
IT IS IMPORTANT YOU DICK.
For example, in that shitty militia one (genuinely one of the worst books I’ve read in a long time) he uses his strength to rip out iron chains from a stable wall. Cruise can’t do this.
As someone who hasn’t read the books, the characters size in the film appears to be of no importance.
And what’s Scientology got to do with it?
Yes, I agree with you. It just gets on my nerves when Childs says that, because it wasn’t fans of the books that made a big deal out of how big the character is- it was him.
Scientology? Nothing. Just trying a gag out. Didn’t work particularly.
In defence of “the fat chick”, she was pregnant during the time of shooting. Hence the big cans.
Since I know nothing about the story….no issues there. And I thought the acting was fine. If he was supposed to be a big guy, I guess that would bother me. Tonally was the character right?
No idea. Not seen it.
I don’t care about Reacher to be honest, as the books stink. It’s just irking me that Childs is being a lying dick.
Fat’s fat and she terrible in the role. she had the range and skill of a shoe.
Thought she was okay. Not good, nor bad. And she really wasn’t that fat. I’d lean towards a little heavy. And seeing as the actress was preggers, this is understandable. Wasn’t it you that complained about stick figure women ages ago? (or it may have been Jarv)
Was me.
I should see this, to be honest, to comment.
Yes, but as soon as they changed him from being a 6ft 8 monster who’s chest muscles can stop bullets (seriously, that’s in one of them) this was bound to happen.
The answer should be prison break. Which is kind of a people heist. A few of the minor gang members are collared in Monaco, and they have to bust them out.
Yeah, that could work.
Man, these books sound terrible. I actually bought a kindle style e-reader recently and have got heaps of books on it (that I haven’t read). The Reacher books are on there. I may read one to see what it’s all about. What’s the first one?
Ah, my mistake.
I ‘m complaining about bad actress that should have told the production she was knocked up at the start and watching the movie while she was putting on pounds was discordant. I kept wondering why she was piling on pounds and wearing long coats inside for half the movie.
Rosamund Pike?
She’s not fat at all. It’s a fair point, though, that if up the spout she should have told them at the start.
Killing Floor.
The one’s I’ve read* are:
Killing Floor
Die Tryin’
Tripwire
Gone Tomorrow
Of them, Killing Floor is easily the best, but still pretty shit, while Die Tryin’ may be one of the worst books (not for women) of the last 2 decades. It’s a hideous book.
and now for the *
I’ve read these directly because of the fact they were the least shit choice in the airport.
I am officially never attempting to buy a book in Stanstead Airport again. Every single fucking time it’s the worst LCD shit imaginable and I end up with something I don’t want to read. I am instead ordering off Amazon in advance.
Bah.
You should consider getting an e-reader. I got one for £29 and have just acquired a bunch of ebooks.
I quite like physical books, though. I have considered it in the past.
Need to fill the various shelves in Spain though.
A mate of mine is going out with a literary agent, and she’s giving me and Marina quite a lot. Reading a semi-decent book called Hemisphere at the moment.
Yeah, I like physical books too. But given my current sitch I thought an e-reader was prudent. I don’t want to be accumulating more books that I’ll just need to offload.
Yeah, it’s all over various papers- left and right wing.
I get that it’s not in the regs, and that there are about a billion aides that should have done it, but really, does it matter in the general scheme of things?
I’ve got no knowledge of this, so I’m wondering if there’s a security/ protection reason that it would matter.
I disagree about the IRS thing- they made an organisation that actively campaigns against taxes complete a form to get tax exempt status which they then got. Again, where’s the problem?
The cover up etc has made a scandal out of something that’s not worth it.
This isn’t support for what I think is a generally incompetent administration.
Just appears to be death by 1000 cuts for them- and none of these headlines are worth the paper (or the bandwidth I’ve just used discussing it).
America is a strange place when it comes to the Media.
Not that our Media isn’t rammed with cunts (exhibit A: Polly Toynbee. Exhibit B: Mel Phillips- intentionally picked one from the left and the right), but they seem to be less hysterical than what I see of the American press.
Okay. I’ll read Killing Floor at some stage.
Warn you now, it’s not very good and it is dumber than a sack of rocks.
It’s not offensively awful like the others that I’ve read though.
I’ve read Twilight out of morbid curiosity. I don’t think I can sink any lower. I’ll be alright.
The story in and of its self was badly and boringly handled in my opinion Reacher did nothign but just react to things stupidly left for him to find. Since its a mystery that wouldn’t bother me unless it was done in a blatantly incompetent manner like the entire enterprise.
Tonally it was way way off because Cruise is Cruise and sometimes that’s fine but for this all I saw was a sawed off runt with a nice smile.
Weekend roundup:
Lots of the Shield. Into season 3 now. I hadn’t seen this since it was first on, and I think it may actually be better than The Wire. Top series, and Chiklis is amazing as Mackay.
LXG- Wank. Orangutan of Doom. Crap acting, crap story, crap effects, just plain crap.
Broken Embraces- tempted to OoD this as well. However, it’s not as bad as some of the other Almodovar I’ve sat through. It is still shit though.
I struggle with this one, because it’s laced with noirish touches, femme fatale, flashbacks, noir score and so forth and yet is still patently a fucking soap opera. And I DO NOT APPRECIATE having to watch shot-for-shot remakes of his earlier films as an integral plot point to this film. I also don’t know where this shit about him “loving” women comes from. Every film of his I’ve seen makes me think he hates them. Still, as with everything he does it’s lovingly crafted, looks sumptuous and contains shit loads of gratuitous nudity- in this case Kira Miro and Penelope Cruz both drop the top.
I only watched Fast and Furious 6, The Office finale and Safety Not Guaranteed again.
Keep meaning to watch Safety.
It’s very good. One of my fav’s of 2012. Which I still need to do.
How was f&f 6?
It’s fun. It goes a little OTT for my liking, and it moves away from the heist formula that was so successful in Fast Five. But overall it’s a good bit of fun. Far better than Star Trek and Iron Man 3. Although I’m biased since I like the F&F films more than those one’s. It’s also the funniest (intentionally) of the series. And the end ties into Tokyo Drift and introduces the big baddie for Fast 7.
Shame.
Isn’t this the book’s fault, though. Admittedly, it’s one of them I haven’t read.
This is partially what’s putting me off it- that I’ve read the books, and I’ll have exactly this reaction.
Yes. I thought it was a shame too. I had envisioned an awesome heist style scenario in Monaco or the like. In terms of story, it doesn’t make sense for them to keep pulling heists, since they got away with the money in 5, but I would’ve preferred another heist.
they made some significant changes to story accommodate The Cruiser that really felt tacked on unnecessary.
Christ I can’t believe I’m in position to defend an awful book.
No thanks to both.
I’ve had the first season of The Shield for years. Never got around to watching it.
The first season is OK. It really gets into its stride in the second though.
I’m sort of pleased England won, but not entirely. This sums up why:
I don’t want the result to obscure what was obviously a shit performance, and think it might do.
Let’s be fucking clear, the batsmen failed on every level. Failed to score at any decent rate, failed to make enough runs. Just fucking failed.
England won because of the excellence of the bowlers. The same problems with the batting they’ve had for a long time are still evident.
In other cricket news, Warner totally melted down on Twitter over the weekend. Interesting to see what Cricket Australia do.
I still think our batting line up is totally fucked.
Too slow, too many grinders. If the conditions are totally bowler friendly, then yes, grinders can be the answer, but how often do you actually get savage green tops or total dust bowls? Not very.
Therefore, I can’t justify this at all:
Cook, (opener)
Compton,(opener)
Trott, (allegedly number 3, but looks like opener to me)
Bell, (number 4, apparently. I’d drop him)
Root, (opener)
Bairstow. (Number SEVEN! Wicket keeper)
It’s completely unbalanced.
Luckily Shermi has tonsillitis and the test starts on Friday, so bye-bye don’t let the door hit your arse on the way out. Less encouragingly, though, this means that we’re looking at:
Cook
Compton
Trott
Root
Bopara (fuckssakes)
Bairstow
I don’t think this helps at all. Admittedly, Root is getting up towards where he should be, but Bopara? How many fucking times?
It’s still grinder heavy as well. Which means the scoring could be funereal. I’d take a punt and go with:
Cook
Lyth
Trott (bah)
Root
Taylor
Bairstow
Lyth looks like an odd selection as he’s had a horrible 2011 BUT he’s a proper basher and Headingly is his home ground, and I’m loathe to discard forever a player that gets 1000 runs in England in May. 2012 he started to come back and he’s hitting a few half centuries again at one of the least batsman friendly pitches in England. I’m minded of Trescothick and Vaughan who had crap county records before England came calling.
It’d give the innings some impetus, and there’s always Trott and Root behind him to shore things up a bit. Taylor I feel is hard done by, as he made his debut against one of the all-time great Saffa bowling attacks, and certainly the best around at the moment. He didn’t make a cunt of himself, but didn’t excel.
I’d certainly pick him ahead of the other options.
Bairstow almost keeps his place by default. He’s the long-term Prior replacement, though.
Poms definitely got themselves off the hook (with a lot of help from the kiwis).
Not a lot to the Warner thing. Got himself into a verbal stoush and too stupid to get himself out. Very well played by the journo though. Got a juicy story for himself, and plenty of free press.
See, I read the article that Warner got upset about and reading between the lines it could be him. Except there was another Aussie player (minor one) who pulled almost verbatim the shit in the article and his IPL side threw the book at him.
Warner is an idiot, but the problem he now has is that Cricket Australia will probably do something silly in reaction. Authorities always overreact to shit on Twitter (c.f. KP all the time).
As for “off the hook”- while I tend to agree, this isn’t the first time our bowling attack has made up for shit batting. It happens far too often.
Also, Anderson was brilliant in the Kiwis first innings, and Broad is nigh on unplayable when in that mood in the second.
It worries me how often they do pull the batsmen out of the fire.
It’s accurate. Poms were on the hook. Only 230-odd in front. Got themselves off the hook by bowling well (and kiwis batting terribly).
Not really- given that the previous 3 innings hadn’t made as much as that, the conditions were swinging, the pitch was turning, and Anderson was in form against a pretty weak batting line up.
I’d have been pissed off if we couldn’t have defended it.
Not defending the batsmen, but I think it was the Kiwi first innings where the bowlers really got them off the hook. Day 3 was probably the turning point.
Having said that, there’s bollocks all over the press about how they played the conditions perfectly on day 1.
That’s nonsense. You don’t finish the first day 150-4 if you FUCKING BAT FIRST. Despicably bad.
Had they been put in, then I’d be more charitable, but that reeks to me of over-conservatism, lack of urgency and rank bad play.
Haven’t read the original article.
There’s nothing to it.
It’s a dig about unprofessionalism and corruption in the IPL. It’s nothing that isn’t extensively documented- players coming back from it fat and out of shape with rancid technique and so forth.
You’d have to reach to think it was about you- although I can see why Warner thought so. Guilty conscience.
Pah.
No bugger about.
Hmmm, saw and liked Trek Too: Khanned! Despite itself.
Watched the usual bits of TCM but nothing memorable.
Oh they were running a Waltons marathon and you know I hadda watch (some of) that. Nostalgia if nothing else. Boys Will Geer was a real character– offscreen he was this blacklisted leftwing Bi activest, who knew?
Puts new meaning in the phrase: running a sawmill.
My old man watches the Waltons. Man it’s lame.
Saw one over Christmas with one of them trying to find his black friend’s slave roots that was so patronising and embarrassing that I was begging the old man to turn it off.
Xi- if you’re about can you explain to my why this Umbrella thing is a big deal? I’m a bit stumped about it.
Ta
I believe it’s a big deal because they’re the one’s that release the zombie virus.
I’m totally confused about it.
Why is it a big deal?
I don’t actually know what you’re talking about. What’s the goss?
There’s a brouhaha in the states because the President had to give a speech or something in the rain and got a Marine to hold an Umbrella.
The right in the states seems to be very upset about it.
I’m not sure what the big deal was.
Having been reading more into it, apparently it’s in the regs that a female marine may use a black umbrella, but there’s nothing on men holding one. Which is being interpreted as it being forbidden.
Except someone high up in the marines said this was bollocks and that it wasn’t a big deal.
I’m completely confused. It seems to be a real mountain out of a molehill.
So I wondered if Xi could explain what the problem is.
Sounds like a storm in a teacup.
See that’s what I think, but there’s been acres of newsprint on it.
There seems to be a lot of storm in a teacup scandals around him at the moment.
The IRS thing, the Justice Department thing, the Umbrella thing, and the Syrian bomb thing.
None of them are watergate, to be honest.
There’s a big deal about? Haven’t seen anything. Granted reading the news is waste of time since its all lies and distortions so Iraely do anymore so I could have missed it
The big deal though is Marines assigned to the White House aren’t there to be personal valets to Presidents and Marine Corps reg prevent Marines in uniform from using umbrellas. There are about a billion aides around that should have done it and not a uniformed Marine.
The IRS thing is very very bad but like every scandle the cover up is what gets you. The parsing of words, the slow release of info that back fires and the appearance/actual impropriety makes it even worse
What happened to the rest of this discussion?
It’s up in the Jack Reacher discussion for some reason.
What the hell?
Fuckssakes. I’ll fix it. Probably need a new Rec room
Bringing it back:
Also, I don’t get why they’re spending so much effort on smearing him. He can’t stand again.
They will try and tie whoever runs for the democrats with Obama and these “scandals”. It’s what every party not in the whitehouse does.
Why the fuck is Gatsby in 3D?
I didn’t want to see it anyway, but really, what the fuck is the benefit of that?
I suppose because it’s a glitz bomb Baz movie. I imagine his style might lend the film some interesting (albeit pointless) use of 3D. I’ll probably see it this week. If the 2D screenings are on a decent times.
this place is acting weird today it just ate my reply. I’ll have try again later.
and now this post is in the wrong place and I look like more of a tool then usual
Right.
Everyone hold. I’m putting a new Rec Room up.