Burt Gummer’s Rec Room March 2013 archive

A gathering place for paranoid survivalists and those who worship at the Church of Chang 

March 2013, Winter’s hanging tough, and I’m waiting for the next stage of graboid evolution

Disclaimer: This is the part of the Church that is the most no holds barred. None of it is intended with malice, and although it can on occasion seem a little bit fraught, it is banter rather than venom. So, be warned that this is like taking a naked swim in a piranha tank and not recommended for the faint of heart.

1,164 responses to “Burt Gummer’s Rec Room March 2013 archive”

  1. Jarv says :

    Jonah- sent you the dead mine review. Forgot to say, it was released in the UK on the 13th.

  2. Jarv says :

    Kiwis still not making England play, and England unwilling to chase it. Going to be a boring day.

  3. Jarv says :

    What the hell are they playing at? trying to see of Boult?

  4. Jarv says :

    Hee hee. The IGN 100 greatest villains has this description of a villain:

    with a giant, mutated head, and the need to be fitted into a hover-chair in order to stay mobile.

    Cokey? That you?

  5. Judge Droid says :

    Random trivia… The Zombieland tv show pilot (which hasn’t been picked up BTW) was directed by the guy who did Tucker and Dale.

    • Jarv says :

      Surprised at that. Mind you the biggest difference in quality is down to the Script and Actors.

      There’s a load of painfully unfunny jokes in Zombieland (vagina counting) that kill it stone dead

  6. Judge Droid says :

    Of all the shitfests to get a sequel…

    XLrator Media has acquired U.S. rights to Content Films’ Ironclad: Battle For Blood. Warner Bros. has also picked up the film in the UK. The sequel sees a survivor of the Great Siege of Rochester Castle fight to save his clan from from Celtic raiders.

  7. Judge Droid says :

    I feel the need… the need for furious speed!

  8. Xiphos0311 says :

    The Iceman is not as good as advertised it’s good but not great lifted by a stellar performance by Michael Shannon. Trying to put a review together but it’s not working at the moment.

    On the other hand I was completely blown away by Safety Not Guaranteed. Also not able to come up with review for this.

    • kloipy says :

      I love Safety Not Guaranteed. Awesome film. Nick from New GIrl is great so is Mark Duplass from the League.
      Michael Shannon elevates every role he’s in

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        yeah it’s a fine flick I was really surprised how it got to me last weekend when I saw it. The movie stuck with me all week and I thought about it often. Unfortunately it hasn’t translated to the written word yet.

    • Judge Droid says :

      I’m looking forward to Iceman.

      SNG is a top film. I think I gave it 3.5 when I reviewed it. Duplass was superb.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Don’t get me wrong its a very well made movie its just a couple of casting choices needed to be different because they brought to mind other movies or shows. I also thought they cleaned up the Iceman too much. I get that its Hollywood and they run scared easily but you dummies chose to make a movie about a bad dude no need to try and make him seem outwardly sympathetic. Show him for what he was which they mostly do but then they chicken out and follow on with the rote Hollywood way of doing business.

        When did Whohasn’t Rodeher get so adult looking and so attractive? Is she Natalie Woods daughter? She’s almost the spitting image of NW now.

  9. Xiphos0311 says :

    Very very good SN season finale lot’s of great stuff in it and some amazing visuals at the end. Even Sasquatch brother was good and usually he brings the show to a screeching halt.

    The Office series finale on the hand…wasn’t….good…at all. However I did notice that the fire crotch English broad has big cans, so kudos for that.

    • Judge Droid says :

      The Office finale was in line with the quality of season 8 & 9. A bit crap. The show should have ended when Michael left. All that meta crap this season, with the doc crew and it airing etc just didn’t work.

      SN is good again. Happy days.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        I had some hope for the office finale since they put together a few very decent episodes this season. Plus that whole thing with Carroll claiming he wasn’t going to be on it was just so much BS and it bugged me. The Office made his bones and his fortune

      • Judge Droid says :

        It wasn’t just Carrell denying it. It was everyone associated with the show. I liked how Michael left and didn’t really need to see him again. And to trott him out for a “That’s what she said.” gag and not much else was poor. Anyway, it was a decent show for seasons 2-7, which is longer than many other sitcoms can boast.

      • Jarv says :

        Watching LXG (which the autocorrect keeps trying to make into “log”. Far more accurate)

        The Hyde makeup really is awful

      • Jarv says :

        England show remarkable and unexpected efficiency to crush the kiwis.

      • Jarv says :

        Now watching broken embraces. Crap.

        Kira Miró though has great Astrodyke potential.

      • Jarv says :

        Painful, agonising honk.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        I had some hope for the office finale since they put together a few very decent episodes this season. Plus that whole thing with Carroll claiming he wasn’t going to be on it was just so much BS and it bugged me. The Office made his bones and his fortune

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        As far as SN goes the need to carry through with the promise of the finale. Sheppard needs to go full time on the show. Him and the writers have Crowley wired.

      • Just Pillow Talk says :

        Why the fuck were you watching lxg?

      • Jarv says :

        Haven’t seen it in ages, and thought maybe it had improved with age and was a passable sunday movie.

        It’s not. It’s turd.

  10. Just Pillow Talk says :

    Watched fast and furious 2 (shit) and fast and furious 4 (better).

    Cannot believe trek 2 has been getting so many good reviews.

  11. Just Pillow Talk says :

    Just finished Jack Reacher….no nothing about the character, so in that context I certainly liked the flick well enough. Cruise is Cruise…the chick was awright as were the rest of the supporting players.

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      going to disagree entirely with you on Reacher. The story as boring and stupid with the dumb(and believe me the story was stupid) changes. The acting was awful, Cruise was Cruise which was the problem and the fat chick was terrible.

      • Jarv says :

        Cruise is just so totally wrong for the part. It actually annoys me a bit that Childs wanked on and on in the novels about Reacher’s size and then had the balls to say “oh, it’s not important” because the Scientology Midget was cast.

        IT IS IMPORTANT YOU DICK.

        For example, in that shitty militia one (genuinely one of the worst books I’ve read in a long time) he uses his strength to rip out iron chains from a stable wall. Cruise can’t do this.

      • Judge Droid says :

        As someone who hasn’t read the books, the characters size in the film appears to be of no importance.

        And what’s Scientology got to do with it?

      • Jarv says :

        Yes, I agree with you. It just gets on my nerves when Childs says that, because it wasn’t fans of the books that made a big deal out of how big the character is- it was him.

      • Jarv says :

        Scientology? Nothing. Just trying a gag out. Didn’t work particularly.

      • Judge Droid says :

        In defence of “the fat chick”, she was pregnant during the time of shooting. Hence the big cans.

      • Just Pillow Talk says :

        Since I know nothing about the story….no issues there. And I thought the acting was fine. If he was supposed to be a big guy, I guess that would bother me. Tonally was the character right?

      • Jarv says :

        No idea. Not seen it.

        I don’t care about Reacher to be honest, as the books stink. It’s just irking me that Childs is being a lying dick.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Fat’s fat and she terrible in the role. she had the range and skill of a shoe.

      • Judge Droid says :

        Thought she was okay. Not good, nor bad. And she really wasn’t that fat. I’d lean towards a little heavy. And seeing as the actress was preggers, this is understandable. Wasn’t it you that complained about stick figure women ages ago? (or it may have been Jarv)

      • Jarv says :

        Wasn’t it you that complained about stick figure women ages ago? (or it may have been Jarv)

        Was me.

        I should see this, to be honest, to comment.

      • Jarv says :

        they made some significant changes to story accommodate The Cruiser that really felt tacked on unnecessary.

        Christ I can’t believe I’m in position to defend an awful book.

        Yes, but as soon as they changed him from being a 6ft 8 monster who’s chest muscles can stop bullets (seriously, that’s in one of them) this was bound to happen.

      • Jarv says :

        it doesn’t make sense for them to keep pulling heists, since they got away with the money in 5, but I would’ve preferred another heist.

        The answer should be prison break. Which is kind of a people heist. A few of the minor gang members are collared in Monaco, and they have to bust them out.

      • Judge Droid says :

        Yeah, that could work.

      • Judge Droid says :

        Man, these books sound terrible. I actually bought a kindle style e-reader recently and have got heaps of books on it (that I haven’t read). The Reacher books are on there. I may read one to see what it’s all about. What’s the first one?

      • Judge Droid says :

        Ah, my mistake.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        I ‘m complaining about bad actress that should have told the production she was knocked up at the start and watching the movie while she was putting on pounds was discordant. I kept wondering why she was piling on pounds and wearing long coats inside for half the movie.

      • Jarv says :

        Rosamund Pike?

        She’s not fat at all. It’s a fair point, though, that if up the spout she should have told them at the start.

      • Jarv says :

        The Reacher books are on there. I may read one to see what it’s all about. What’s the first one?

        Killing Floor.

        The one’s I’ve read* are:

        Killing Floor
        Die Tryin’
        Tripwire
        Gone Tomorrow

        Of them, Killing Floor is easily the best, but still pretty shit, while Die Tryin’ may be one of the worst books (not for women) of the last 2 decades. It’s a hideous book.

      • Jarv says :

        and now for the *

        I’ve read these directly because of the fact they were the least shit choice in the airport.

        I am officially never attempting to buy a book in Stanstead Airport again. Every single fucking time it’s the worst LCD shit imaginable and I end up with something I don’t want to read. I am instead ordering off Amazon in advance.

        Bah.

      • Judge Droid says :

        You should consider getting an e-reader. I got one for £29 and have just acquired a bunch of ebooks.

      • Jarv says :

        I quite like physical books, though. I have considered it in the past.

        Need to fill the various shelves in Spain though.

        A mate of mine is going out with a literary agent, and she’s giving me and Marina quite a lot. Reading a semi-decent book called Hemisphere at the moment.

      • Judge Droid says :

        Yeah, I like physical books too. But given my current sitch I thought an e-reader was prudent. I don’t want to be accumulating more books that I’ll just need to offload.

      • Jarv says :

        Yeah, it’s all over various papers- left and right wing.

        The big deal though is Marines assigned to the White House aren’t there to be personal valets to Presidents and Marine Corps reg prevent Marines in uniform from using umbrellas. There are about a billion aides around that should have done it and not a uniformed Marine.

        I get that it’s not in the regs, and that there are about a billion aides that should have done it, but really, does it matter in the general scheme of things?

        I’ve got no knowledge of this, so I’m wondering if there’s a security/ protection reason that it would matter.

        The IRS thing is very very bad but like every scandle the cover up is what gets you. The parsing of words, the slow release of info that back fires and the appearance/actual impropriety makes it even worse

        I disagree about the IRS thing- they made an organisation that actively campaigns against taxes complete a form to get tax exempt status which they then got. Again, where’s the problem?

        The cover up etc has made a scandal out of something that’s not worth it.

      • Jarv says :

        This isn’t support for what I think is a generally incompetent administration.

        Just appears to be death by 1000 cuts for them- and none of these headlines are worth the paper (or the bandwidth I’ve just used discussing it).

        America is a strange place when it comes to the Media.

        Not that our Media isn’t rammed with cunts (exhibit A: Polly Toynbee. Exhibit B: Mel Phillips- intentionally picked one from the left and the right), but they seem to be less hysterical than what I see of the American press.

      • Judge Droid says :

        Okay. I’ll read Killing Floor at some stage.

      • Jarv says :

        Warn you now, it’s not very good and it is dumber than a sack of rocks.

        It’s not offensively awful like the others that I’ve read though.

      • Judge Droid says :

        I’ve read Twilight out of morbid curiosity. I don’t think I can sink any lower. I’ll be alright.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        The story in and of its self was badly and boringly handled in my opinion Reacher did nothign but just react to things stupidly left for him to find. Since its a mystery that wouldn’t bother me unless it was done in a blatantly incompetent manner like the entire enterprise.

        Tonally it was way way off because Cruise is Cruise and sometimes that’s fine but for this all I saw was a sawed off runt with a nice smile.

  12. Jarv says :

    Weekend roundup:

    Lots of the Shield. Into season 3 now. I hadn’t seen this since it was first on, and I think it may actually be better than The Wire. Top series, and Chiklis is amazing as Mackay.

    LXG- Wank. Orangutan of Doom. Crap acting, crap story, crap effects, just plain crap.

    Broken Embraces- tempted to OoD this as well. However, it’s not as bad as some of the other Almodovar I’ve sat through. It is still shit though.

    I struggle with this one, because it’s laced with noirish touches, femme fatale, flashbacks, noir score and so forth and yet is still patently a fucking soap opera. And I DO NOT APPRECIATE having to watch shot-for-shot remakes of his earlier films as an integral plot point to this film. I also don’t know where this shit about him “loving” women comes from. Every film of his I’ve seen makes me think he hates them. Still, as with everything he does it’s lovingly crafted, looks sumptuous and contains shit loads of gratuitous nudity- in this case Kira Miro and Penelope Cruz both drop the top.

    • Judge Droid says :

      I only watched Fast and Furious 6, The Office finale and Safety Not Guaranteed again.

      • Jarv says :

        Keep meaning to watch Safety.

      • Judge Droid says :

        It’s very good. One of my fav’s of 2012. Which I still need to do.

      • Just Pillow Talk says :

        How was f&f 6?

      • Judge Droid says :

        It’s fun. It goes a little OTT for my liking, and it moves away from the heist formula that was so successful in Fast Five. But overall it’s a good bit of fun. Far better than Star Trek and Iron Man 3. Although I’m biased since I like the F&F films more than those one’s. It’s also the funniest (intentionally) of the series. And the end ties into Tokyo Drift and introduces the big baddie for Fast 7.

      • Jarv says :

        it moves away from the heist formula that was so successful in Fast Five.

        Shame.

      • Jarv says :

        The story in and of its self was badly and boringly handled in my opinion Reacher did nothign but just react to things stupidly left for him to find. Since its a mystery that wouldn’t bother me unless it was done in a blatantly incompetent manner like the entire enterprise.

        Isn’t this the book’s fault, though. Admittedly, it’s one of them I haven’t read.

        Tonally it was way way off because Cruise is Cruise and sometimes that’s fine but for this all I saw was a sawed off runt with a nice smile.

        This is partially what’s putting me off it- that I’ve read the books, and I’ll have exactly this reaction.

      • Judge Droid says :

        Yes. I thought it was a shame too. I had envisioned an awesome heist style scenario in Monaco or the like. In terms of story, it doesn’t make sense for them to keep pulling heists, since they got away with the money in 5, but I would’ve preferred another heist.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        they made some significant changes to story accommodate The Cruiser that really felt tacked on unnecessary.

        Christ I can’t believe I’m in position to defend an awful book.

    • Judge Droid says :

      No thanks to both.

    • Judge Droid says :

      I’ve had the first season of The Shield for years. Never got around to watching it.

  13. Jarv says :

    I’m sort of pleased England won, but not entirely. This sums up why:

    But this was hardly a performance free of blemish by England. Their first-day batting, in which despite the sluggish scoring they lost only four wickets, certainly helped to set up the win, particularly when placed in the context of how batsmen fared generally thereafter.

    I don’t want the result to obscure what was obviously a shit performance, and think it might do.

    Let’s be fucking clear, the batsmen failed on every level. Failed to score at any decent rate, failed to make enough runs. Just fucking failed.

    England won because of the excellence of the bowlers. The same problems with the batting they’ve had for a long time are still evident.

    In other cricket news, Warner totally melted down on Twitter over the weekend. Interesting to see what Cricket Australia do.

    • Jarv says :

      I still think our batting line up is totally fucked.

      Too slow, too many grinders. If the conditions are totally bowler friendly, then yes, grinders can be the answer, but how often do you actually get savage green tops or total dust bowls? Not very.

      Therefore, I can’t justify this at all:

      Cook, (opener)
      Compton,(opener)
      Trott, (allegedly number 3, but looks like opener to me)
      Bell, (number 4, apparently. I’d drop him)
      Root, (opener)
      Bairstow. (Number SEVEN! Wicket keeper)

      It’s completely unbalanced.

      Luckily Shermi has tonsillitis and the test starts on Friday, so bye-bye don’t let the door hit your arse on the way out. Less encouragingly, though, this means that we’re looking at:

      Cook
      Compton
      Trott
      Root
      Bopara (fuckssakes)
      Bairstow

      I don’t think this helps at all. Admittedly, Root is getting up towards where he should be, but Bopara? How many fucking times?

      It’s still grinder heavy as well. Which means the scoring could be funereal. I’d take a punt and go with:

      Cook
      Lyth
      Trott (bah)
      Root
      Taylor
      Bairstow

      Lyth looks like an odd selection as he’s had a horrible 2011 BUT he’s a proper basher and Headingly is his home ground, and I’m loathe to discard forever a player that gets 1000 runs in England in May. 2012 he started to come back and he’s hitting a few half centuries again at one of the least batsman friendly pitches in England. I’m minded of Trescothick and Vaughan who had crap county records before England came calling.

      It’d give the innings some impetus, and there’s always Trott and Root behind him to shore things up a bit. Taylor I feel is hard done by, as he made his debut against one of the all-time great Saffa bowling attacks, and certainly the best around at the moment. He didn’t make a cunt of himself, but didn’t excel.

      I’d certainly pick him ahead of the other options.

      Bairstow almost keeps his place by default. He’s the long-term Prior replacement, though.

    • Judge Droid says :

      Poms definitely got themselves off the hook (with a lot of help from the kiwis).

      Not a lot to the Warner thing. Got himself into a verbal stoush and too stupid to get himself out. Very well played by the journo though. Got a juicy story for himself, and plenty of free press.

      • Jarv says :

        See, I read the article that Warner got upset about and reading between the lines it could be him. Except there was another Aussie player (minor one) who pulled almost verbatim the shit in the article and his IPL side threw the book at him.

        Warner is an idiot, but the problem he now has is that Cricket Australia will probably do something silly in reaction. Authorities always overreact to shit on Twitter (c.f. KP all the time).

      • Jarv says :

        As for “off the hook”- while I tend to agree, this isn’t the first time our bowling attack has made up for shit batting. It happens far too often.

        Also, Anderson was brilliant in the Kiwis first innings, and Broad is nigh on unplayable when in that mood in the second.

        It worries me how often they do pull the batsmen out of the fire.

      • Judge Droid says :

        It’s accurate. Poms were on the hook. Only 230-odd in front. Got themselves off the hook by bowling well (and kiwis batting terribly).

      • Jarv says :

        Not really- given that the previous 3 innings hadn’t made as much as that, the conditions were swinging, the pitch was turning, and Anderson was in form against a pretty weak batting line up.

        I’d have been pissed off if we couldn’t have defended it.

        Not defending the batsmen, but I think it was the Kiwi first innings where the bowlers really got them off the hook. Day 3 was probably the turning point.

      • Jarv says :

        Having said that, there’s bollocks all over the press about how they played the conditions perfectly on day 1.

        That’s nonsense. You don’t finish the first day 150-4 if you FUCKING BAT FIRST. Despicably bad.

        Had they been put in, then I’d be more charitable, but that reeks to me of over-conservatism, lack of urgency and rank bad play.

      • Judge Droid says :

        Haven’t read the original article.

      • Jarv says :

        There’s nothing to it.

        It’s a dig about unprofessionalism and corruption in the IPL. It’s nothing that isn’t extensively documented- players coming back from it fat and out of shape with rancid technique and so forth.

        You’d have to reach to think it was about you- although I can see why Warner thought so. Guilty conscience.

  14. Jarv says :

    Pah.

    No bugger about.

  15. tombando says :

    Hmmm, saw and liked Trek Too: Khanned! Despite itself.

    Watched the usual bits of TCM but nothing memorable.

    Oh they were running a Waltons marathon and you know I hadda watch (some of) that. Nostalgia if nothing else. Boys Will Geer was a real character– offscreen he was this blacklisted leftwing Bi activest, who knew?

    Puts new meaning in the phrase: running a sawmill.

    • Jarv says :

      My old man watches the Waltons. Man it’s lame.

      Saw one over Christmas with one of them trying to find his black friend’s slave roots that was so patronising and embarrassing that I was begging the old man to turn it off.

  16. Jarv says :

    Xi- if you’re about can you explain to my why this Umbrella thing is a big deal? I’m a bit stumped about it.

    Ta

    • Judge Droid says :

      I believe it’s a big deal because they’re the one’s that release the zombie virus.

      • Jarv says :

        I’m totally confused about it.

        Why is it a big deal?

      • Judge Droid says :

        I don’t actually know what you’re talking about. What’s the goss?

      • Jarv says :

        There’s a brouhaha in the states because the President had to give a speech or something in the rain and got a Marine to hold an Umbrella.

        The right in the states seems to be very upset about it.

        I’m not sure what the big deal was.

      • Jarv says :

        Having been reading more into it, apparently it’s in the regs that a female marine may use a black umbrella, but there’s nothing on men holding one. Which is being interpreted as it being forbidden.

        Except someone high up in the marines said this was bollocks and that it wasn’t a big deal.

        I’m completely confused. It seems to be a real mountain out of a molehill.

        So I wondered if Xi could explain what the problem is.

      • Judge Droid says :

        Sounds like a storm in a teacup.

      • Jarv says :

        See that’s what I think, but there’s been acres of newsprint on it.

      • Jarv says :

        There seems to be a lot of storm in a teacup scandals around him at the moment.

        The IRS thing, the Justice Department thing, the Umbrella thing, and the Syrian bomb thing.

        None of them are watergate, to be honest.

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      There’s a big deal about? Haven’t seen anything. Granted reading the news is waste of time since its all lies and distortions so Iraely do anymore so I could have missed it

      The big deal though is Marines assigned to the White House aren’t there to be personal valets to Presidents and Marine Corps reg prevent Marines in uniform from using umbrellas. There are about a billion aides around that should have done it and not a uniformed Marine.

      The IRS thing is very very bad but like every scandle the cover up is what gets you. The parsing of words, the slow release of info that back fires and the appearance/actual impropriety makes it even worse

  17. Xiphos0311 says :

    What happened to the rest of this discussion?

    • Judge Droid says :

      It’s up in the Jack Reacher discussion for some reason.

    • Jarv says :

      What the hell?

      Fuckssakes. I’ll fix it. Probably need a new Rec room

      • Jarv says :

        Bringing it back:

        Yeah, it’s all over various papers- left and right wing.

        The big deal though is Marines assigned to the White House aren’t there to be personal valets to Presidents and Marine Corps reg prevent Marines in uniform from using umbrellas. There are about a billion aides around that should have done it and not a uniformed Marine.

        I get that it’s not in the regs, and that there are about a billion aides that should have done it, but really, does it matter in the general scheme of things?

        I’ve got no knowledge of this, so I’m wondering if there’s a security/ protection reason that it would matter.

        The IRS thing is very very bad but like every scandle the cover up is what gets you. The parsing of words, the slow release of info that back fires and the appearance/actual impropriety makes it even worse

        I disagree about the IRS thing- they made an organisation that actively campaigns against taxes complete a form to get tax exempt status which they then got. Again, where’s the problem?

        The cover up etc has made a scandal out of something that’s not worth it.

        This isn’t support for what I think is a generally incompetent administration.

        Just appears to be death by 1000 cuts for them- and none of these headlines are worth the paper (or the bandwidth I’ve just used discussing it).

        America is a strange place when it comes to the Media.

        Not that our Media isn’t rammed with cunts (exhibit A: Polly Toynbee. Exhibit B: Mel Phillips- intentionally picked one from the left and the right), but they seem to be less hysterical than what I see of the American press.

      • Jarv says :

        Also, I don’t get why they’re spending so much effort on smearing him. He can’t stand again.

      • Just Pillow Talk says :

        They will try and tie whoever runs for the democrats with Obama and these “scandals”. It’s what every party not in the whitehouse does.

  18. Jarv says :

    Why the fuck is Gatsby in 3D?

    I didn’t want to see it anyway, but really, what the fuck is the benefit of that?

    • Judge Droid says :

      I suppose because it’s a glitz bomb Baz movie. I imagine his style might lend the film some interesting (albeit pointless) use of 3D. I’ll probably see it this week. If the 2D screenings are on a decent times.

  19. Xiphos0311 says :

    this place is acting weird today it just ate my reply. I’ll have try again later.

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