News Roundup – December 4th, 2009: No Beard! No Greengrass! More Anderson! More Diesel!


It’s been two weeks since I last did one of these. Primarily because there’s been bugger all in the way of news.  But I’ve managed to scrape together a few interesting developments.


‘Bourne 4’ get the ol’ double whammy

Thank christ for this. Now that the Michael J. Fox of directing, Paul Greengrass, has done a runner from ‘Bourne 4’, ol’ Maaaaatt Daaaaaaamon has scarpered as well.  Seeing as though the Greengrass sequels were nausea inducing rehashes of the very good original, I see this as a cause for celebration.  I’m sure someone will try to continue the franchise at some stage.  But for now, we’re safe.

‘Harvey’ loses The Beard

In yet another piece of great news stemming from what a director ISN’T doing, Steven Spielbergs planned remake of the Jimmy Stewart flick ‘Harvey’ has gone the way of the dodo.  Apparently he couldn’t get his muse, Tom Hanks, to do it, and then failed to get Robert Downey Jr to sign on the dotted line.  After this and his Old Boy remake starring the Fresh Prince falling through, it’s all good news for us.

Now, maybe The Beard can go make something more original.  At the very least, go make that Lincoln bio with Liam Neeson.

Twice upon a time in Mexico

Johnny Depp is set to return to Mexico, this time as revolutionary hero Pancho Villa in Emir Kusturicas upcoming Spanish-language biopic titled ‘Seven Friends of Pancho Villa and the Woman With Six Fingers’.  Pocket rocket Salma Hayek is also starring.  Let’s hope there’s a big ass snake involved.

Anderson and Seymour Hoffman get the faith


Paul Thomas Anderson’s next flick will centre around a new religion created in the 50’s which catches on in America.  This period drama will star Philip Seymour Hoffman as ‘the Master’, the man who created the religion and will involve his relationship with his ‘lieutenant’, who begins to question the faith as more and more people become followers.

I like all of Anderson’s movies, Seymour Hoffmans a great actor and Scientology is ripe for satire (see Bowfinger).  This should be good.

The Chronicles of Diesel

Now that he’s finally realised that he’s not Arnie, Vin Diesel has settled in to cashing in on his past hits.  After returning to the Fast and the Furious franchise, and those xXx 3 rumours stinking up the joint, now here he is insisting on continuing the Riddick series.  With not one flick, but two!

I’m not the greatest fan of ‘Pitch Black’ or ‘TCOR’. ‘Pitch Black’ was okay with a great ending.  Nor am I a fan of Diesel.  So this does not interest me as much as it probably does you guys.  If you want to believe Diesel, then it seems that Twohy has written the script, they’re scouting locations and it’s all systems go.  If this is true, at the very least they must feature Riddick outrunning the sun again.

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About Judge Droid

In between refining my procrastination skills I talk a lot of shit about movies and such.

68 responses to “News Roundup – December 4th, 2009: No Beard! No Greengrass! More Anderson! More Diesel!”

  1. Jarv says :

    I’ve potentially got the most earth shattering news, so important that I daren’t post it before I can confirm it.

  2. just pillow talk says :

    Outrunning the sun was pure genius.

    Vin should sign a contract with humanity saying he can only make Riddick movies, and the plots must get more muddled as the series progresses.

    Perhaps they can take a page from that Happening movie that some of you saw, and he can outrun the wind this time. Maybe a mud slide?

  3. Jarv says :

    Hmph, through sheer coincidence I happen to be in the right place at the right time to discover something of awesome coolness, that I can’t confirm- and all I get is this shit

    You are ungrateful children and I’m not going to tell you now.

  4. just pillow talk says :

    See droid, you ruined our chance at “awesome coolness”.

    I’m sure it was quite delightful too.

    • Droid says :

      My apologies, pillows. Seeing that Jarv is a “delightful” fellow, I’m sure he’ll astound us with his “awesome coolness” news.

  5. Jarv says :

    Fucking was. It was even better than delightful.

  6. Jarv says :

    Ungrateful twats.

    It involves the potential continuation of the worlds greatest franchise.

  7. Jarv says :

    I’ve even emailed Dwarf god Warwick to ask if it’s true.

    • just pillow talk says :

      A pint sized email from Warwick would need to go into a “Hall of Fame” section on here. It would be like a document from a founding father or something.

      • Jarv says :

        At the moment it ranks at “told about in pub” status, but considering where I was and who told me there’s a fucking good chance it could be true.

        C’mon Dwarf god. Confirm it.

      • just pillow talk says :

        You’ll have to post the email exchange here, if and when it’s confirmed by Lep.

        Did you address the email to little God with “Dear Warwick” or “Lep,”?

      • Jarv says :

        “Dear Mr. Davis, sir.

        You may be small of stature, but a god amongst midget sociopaths. ”


      • just pillow talk says :

        You didn’t call him Willow, right? Or mention the “brownies”?

        I hear that gets him mad, and it’s the closest we’ll get to a hulked out midget, alas not the lesbian kind for Frankie.

  8. Jarv says :

    And as soon as someone lifts him up to the computer so he can read it I’m sure he’ll get back.

  9. Jarv says :

    In the search for his email, I discovered that he plays the “hair” in a staggeringly annoying head and shoulders ad.

    This makes me sad.

  10. just pillow talk says :

    Those are some good ideas there Frankie.

    Lep in Hong Kong or Lep in the Old West are both good choices.

    Lep vs. Ghengis Khan.

    Lep vs. Samurai.

    Lep vs. Jesse James.

  11. just pillow talk says :

    Last season’s 24 wasn’t that bad. I could see a Bourne tv show, but I would think it would get old fast. I mean, how long can he be on the run for?

  12. Droid says :

    I think Lep should be a no nonsense substitute teacher who starts working in an East LA school where the kids are really smart, but lack direction and discipline. He can wear a leather jacket and teach them that Shakespeare is just like rap music, and inspire them to dream and achieve those dreams through honest hard work and dedication.

    But then his pot o’ gold goes missing…

    • Jarv says :

      The good news is, if it’s true, he’s not in the hood again (thank the fucking lord).

      The idea I heard wasn’t great, but there could be some comedy.

      I’d go for the orient personally, and he could conjure up flying samurai monkeys.

    • just pillow talk says :

      Now you’re talking. Samurai monkeys would be the apex of cinema making. How could that be topped?

      Unless Lep did go into space, but on the moon…against werewolves!

    • Jarv says :

      Leprechaun v Astrodykes v Werewolves ON THE MOON.

      Directed by Rennie Harlin.

      Make it so.

  13. Droid says :

    Season 7 of 24 was garbage. Apart from Chesty Freckles, that is. And I’m the guy who didn’t hate Season 6.

    • just pillow talk says :

      There was a season six?

    • Droid says :

      That’s the general response. But at least it wasn’t boring like 7.

      I think my problem with Season 7 is that it was the first series since season 1 that I watched on tv. I watched seasons 2-6 on dvd in the space of about 3 months. It’s basically all I watched. And when you can knock off 3 or 4 episodes in one sitting it makes it much more enjoyable.

    • just pillow talk says :

      Yeah, that is the best way to watch 24. They always have some “filler” episodes, and if you can burn through an entire season at once, it makes those much more bearable.

  14. Jarv says :

    Lost interest in 24 about 2/3 of the way through season 2. Never been tempted back.

    Although Chesty Freckles did nearly make me reconsider.

  15. Droid says :

    Yeah, she’s in it whoever she is. Season 8 officially sucks now that I’ve seen that cunt Freddie Prinze Jr is in it.

    • Droid says :

      Season 8. Season 7 is only worth the download for Chesty Freckles.

      On an amusing sidenote, I gave my colleague the dvd’s (downloaded) of season 7 and i somehow fucked up burning the dvds and he watched all 23 episodes, got to the final one and found out I’d repeated episode 23 twice! hehe

    • Droid says :

      I answered above Frankie.

      Klein was very good in Election, but Charlie Nash is a tour de force!

    • xiphos0311 says :

      CHESTY FRECKLES! one of the better nick names I came up with. Although I am proud of the one I glossed some characters in the second season of Heroes. One of the online outlests like Variety used it once.

      What’s a buffalo stance?

    • xiphos0311 says :

      Ahhhh….a vato stand got it, thank you.

  16. Jarv says :

    Fucking hell. Who keeps giving him work?

  17. koutchboom says :

    Ugh 24, just don’t care about that show.

  18. koutchboom says :

    Lep, I need to get the ball rolling on the comic reviews.

  19. lord bronco says :

    Wrong on all counts, Gentleman.

    Any new Leprechaun movie scenario will feature Time Travel Back to Ancient Thermopolyae.

    Which is in Greece, you semi-literate cretins.

    The name of the production, which brings the Leprechaun franchise firmly into the 21st century:


    That is all.

  20. ThereWolf says :

    The Wick!

    He was a bad ass in Prince Caspian…

  21. tombando says :

    So Jarv had a little small talk w/ Willow in a pub?

    • tombando says :

      Oh by the way–that’s BeatnikMan on the far right. AKA the fifth horseman of the Apocalypse. Sorta. Complete w/ troweled on beard.

  22. tombando says :

    I liked all three Bourne flicks too-but unfortunately the last two went something like this: fight fight fight-shakeyshakeyshakeyshake-drive drive drive-shakeyshakeyshakey-fight fight fight-shakeyshakeyshakey.

    Oh and we got Bryan Cox’s twin Albert Finney in to really confooze things, too!

    I still like’em, but they is whut they is.

    Hitching a handi-cam to an epileptic monkey and then hitting w/ a cattle prod was NOT the best idea of setting up that whole Tangiers roof-top chase, ya know?

  23. Jarv says :

    No- I got it from a mate, but he’s got good reason to know.

  24. M. Blitz says :

    20,000 Leps Under the Sea?

  25. Tom_Bando says :

    I actually like some of Vin Diesel’s stuff-Pitch Black for example. XXX was poo-poo certainly and he peaked a decade ago, but it’s fun to go back and watch Pitch Black again. Good stuff there.

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