Tag Archive | Violence

The Return of Jarv’s Birthday Series- Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (2014)

sin-city2

I’d completely repressed the fact that we’d done these bloody birthday series, which come complete with the added bonus of only being stopped by the reviewers’ actual death. Anyhoo, as I’m still on the unemployment train, I thought I’d have a look to see what treasures 2012, 2013, 2014 and 2015 had left for me before my imminent birthday this year. So, having briefly perused Wikipedia, I was quite pleased to see a palatable list that I’ve already (for the most part) seen and, more importantly, didn’t hate. My provisional list is: Premium Rush, You’re Next, Sinister 2 and, for 2014 and today’s entry, Sin City: A Dame to Kill For. I’ll also update the scores for the first run through after I catch up with 2016’s entry.

Contains new material written especially for Werewolves on the Moon that isn’t as good as the material that has already been published in this series (heh) and spoilers below

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Made in Britain: High Rise

high-rise-movie-poster

I like Ben Wheatley films. Hell,  I even gave the nod to Kill List for my film of the year, and I rated Down Terrace quite highly too. Unlike Droid, I even found something to like in Sightseers. However, I found A Field in England to be a risible load of art student toss, and I’ve got nothing good to say about it. Unfortunately, for me, I don’t like J. G. Ballard, believing him to be probably the most overrated author Britain’s produced in the last 100 years. So, it was with somewhat mixed feelings that I sat down to watch Wheatley’s adaptation of Ballard’s famously unfilmable High Rise- a movie that spent the better part of 30 years failing to make it to the screen.

Contains social commentary (groan) and spoilers below Read More…

A Droid Premiere: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)

BvS DoJ Header

It feels like this movie has taken forever to get to the big screen. I vaguely remember Wolgang Petersen being attached at one point in the early 2000’s. This was before ‘Superman Returns’. Before ‘Batman Begins’. And then there was that Times Square billboard in ‘I Am Legend’, teasing the possibility that the two most famous superheroes of all time would one day go toe to toe for our viewing pleasure.
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A Droid Premiere: Triple 9 (2016)

Triple_9_Poster

Surprise! Yes, it’s your old mate Droid here with a review of the new film ‘Triple 9’. Since it’s been a surprisingly long time since I wrote one of these, I expect it to be pretty terrible. So… par for the course, really.

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Made In Britain: Kingsman

Kingsman poster

Well, colour me surprised. After the terminally shit Kick Ass and Kick Ass 2, and the less than wholly whelming (to put it mildly) X: Men prequel, I’d written Matthew Vaughan off as someone that had it once, lost it, and cannae get it back. As such, and given that Kingsman was from a funnybook by Mark Millar, I had the film also written off as another lame Bond spoof along the lines of Jonny English. Except, given Millar’s involvement, probably more unpleasant. Imagine my surprise, when it proved to be quite entertaining and a highly watchable, albeit flawed, film- so much better than I thought it was going to be.

Contains Harry Palmer Gentlemen Spies and spoilers below Read More…

Back in New York: DEATH WISH 3

Death Wish 3 Poster

And THIS is what we’ve been fucking talking about. Bring it on.

Contains a ludicrous amount of creeps getting wasted and spoilers below.  Read More…

Jarv’s Schlock Vault: Street Warrior

Street Warrior Cover

*cautiously opens door of vault*

It’s scary in here, and there’s definitely a funny smell. Possibly of hope dying. This explains why I’ve not reviewed anything in a long time. Heh.

Actually, I’ve just been lazy, to be honest. Nevertheless, I am still watching rubbish hoping to sift out nuggets of gold, just most of what I’ve seen hasn’t really been worth a review. For example, I have literally nothing of interest to say about Metamorphosis (1989) other than “shit film, but funny to see an early cameo from Barney the Dinosaur”. I have got forthcoming reviews of some gold such as Chainsaw Cheerleaders (and Ninja Cheerleaders if I can ever find it) coming soon, but in the meantime here’s a brief review of 2008’s alleged underground fighting film Street Warrior.  Read More…

ToadKillerDog falls in love with Mathilda May…

TKD

It’s always nice when we get a new contributor. This time out it’s Below the line regular and caretaker of the most alcoholic dog in continental America ToadKillerDog.

He’s popping his critical cherry with perennial alcohol accompaniment favourite, Tobe Hooper’s epic and completely coke-fueled Lifeforce.

Take it away TKD… Read More…

Jarv’s Schlock Vault: Boston Girls

Boston-Girls-cover

Slam Pig! 

I have genuinely come to the conclusion that modern exploitation films tend to be hideous. It is true, though, that almost all exploitation has been awful, with only a few gems standing out from the crowd, but the difference was that the 1970’s films were attempting to overcome limitations imposed on them by budget, talent, time and so forth and there were a few that genuinely transcended their lowly origins. Whereas 21st Century exploitation has none of the limitations the 70’s film makers had to overcome, and instead intentionally makes the films shoddy, grainy and more seriously unpleasant than they had to be. It was with this in mind that I decided to inflict Boston Girls on myself, and I didn’t have a lot in the way of hope for it.

Contains cack handed faux feminism and spoilers below  Read More…

Jarv’s view from the couch part 2: Comedy and Drama

couch-potato

I know technically DarkPlace was a comedy, but I’m splitting this TV series into manageable bite-sized chunks.

Anyway, this time around, I’m looking at another cancelled British comedy, and a long running and grotesquely overrated American series. Read More…