Tag Archive | Troma

Jarv’s Schlock Vault: Class of Nuke Em High Part 2: Subhumanoid Meltdown

We will not ask you to do anything embarrassing, humiliating, or abnormal at any time.

Jarv’s Rating: 2.5 Changs out of 4 and I damned nearly gave it 3 just for the giant mutant squirrel.

 Part two of the wonderfully misguided Class of Nuke ‘Em High trilogy has absolutely nothing in common with part 1. In fact, if I were to be cynical, then I might suggest that Troma deliberately stuck a completely unrelated film in as a sequel to cash in on the reasonable success of the first film. However, that doesn’t stop it being a damned entertaining little romp, even if considerations such as plot completely fall by the wayside. Read More…

Jarv’s Schlock Vault: Class of Nuke ‘Em High

“What’s happened to you people? Six months ago you were the honor society, not a drug pushing gang of thugs.” 

Jarv’s Rating: 2.5 Changs although I’m tempted to give it more

Welcome to Tromaville- a classy town, with great real estate, interesting local residents, a fine eduction system, full employment at the various nuclear facilities, and a law enforcement agency run by a sociopathic monster with an uncontrollable urge to see justice done. Read More…

Jarv’s Schlock Vault: Poultrygeist- Night of the Chicken Dead

“You had me at shit covered mongoloid”

 Jarv’s Rating: 3 Changs out of 4- I fucking love Troma.

 God Bless Troma. It’s hard to believe, but the kings of low-budget schlock have now passed their 30 year anniversary. How the fuck did they manage this? I mean, it isn’t as if the vast majority of their output has a snowball in hell’s chance of breaking even and the Toxie money can’t last forever. Is there really a dedicated fanbase for shit like Nympho Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell, or Femme Fontaine: Killer Babe for the CIA, because I don’t believe there is, and as much as casual viewers like myself may enjoy their films, I’m not going to rush out and buy all the merchandise. Read More…

From the Vault: Schlock in the 21st Century

This century hasn’t been kind to schlock. Needless to say, here’s a list of some I recommend and some I really, really don’t. Some of these I’ve already reviewed, some I haven’t. It’s not a top ten, rather just films from the bargain bucket that I think are worth a look. Read More…

Jarv’s Schlock Vault: Monster in the Closet

the vault logo

Monster in The Closet

“Bear with me and throw all reason out of the window”

Jarv’s Rating: 2.5 Changs out of 4

2.5 changs out of 4

 

 

 

Thank the lord for Troma. Seriously, I know that sounds like a daft thing to say, but I’ve seen an awful lot of absolute rubbish recently and to return to the warm and cuddly embrace of the kings of schlock is a wonderful relief- they’re people that don’t deliberately make “bad” films, they do it by accident because they lack the actual ability to make good films. Nonetheless, they always make entertaining films. Read More…

Jarv’s Schlock Vault: Toxic Avenger triple bill

the vault logo

The Toxic Avenger

ta1

“If you’re in danger and you need help, maybe, just maybe… the Toxic Avenger will be there”

Kind of like a mutant A-Team. Heh. Read More…

Jarv’s Schlock Vault: Chopper Chicks in Zombietown

the vault logoChopper Chicks in Zombie Town

CC1“Blind kids, a midget, dykes on bikes… we could start a side-show!”

Ignore reviews on IMDB (as if you need me to tell you that), ignore Amazon, especially ignore the middle bit of that idiotic Variety quote on the cover- it isn’t a spoof (I don’t think they know how to do a spoof), ignore pretty much everything, and trust me- your guide to the darker recesses of the vault. Would I lie to you? Read More…