Tag Archive | Thomas Jane

Just Pillow Talk v Marvel Comics 10. The Punisher

This was clearly not meant to be like this, but I’m killing time before going to see New Year’s Eve (I’d rather get caught breaking into Frank Castle’s house than do this) and as he’s sent both Punisher reviews in, we can double the punishment in one big, fat orgy of ass kickery. Well, half of one.

I actually like both of these films, for my sins, especially War Zone, but I do wonder why it is so hard to adapt The Punisher properly. I mean, it’s basically Death Wish, as far as I understand: 1 big bastard cleans up the streets. How can this group of Marvel adapters possibly fuck this one up… Read More…

Jarv’s Schlock Vault: The Tripper

Ever heard of the trickle-down effect?

Jarv’s Rating: 2 Changs out of 4. Nowhere near as funny as it thinks it is, but compared to some of the slashers that I’ve seen recently it is at least passable.

This is a bloody strange piece of schlock. Seriously, it’s like a group of B-list types gathered together, got completely off their tits, and then decided to make the dumbest slasher movie that they could. Seriously, the cast to this is, well, brilliant for this type of film: Thomas Jane, David Arquette, Courtney Cox, Jason Mewes, Richard Gross, Luke Haas, Paz de la Huerta, Balthazar Getty and so forth. I mean, really, what the fuck? What are all these people doing in an immensely stupid film about hippies at a shitty Burning Man knock-off getting slaughtered by a lunatic in a shitty Reagan Mask? I mean, seriously, what the fuck is going on in the world? Read More…

Post Millennial Trauma: The Mist (2007)

Quick confession time: I haven’t read the short story. I binged on Stephen King when I was a teenager, and then just sort of stopped and haven’t really had any urge to go back to them. Nevertheless, I’m assured that this is a cracking read, and regardless of that it has the proud boast of standing in the handful of  Stephen King adaptations that aren’t terrible alongside Stand by Me, Carrie, The Shining and Misery (before anyone says anything, I really don’t like The Green Mile). Read More…