Jarv’s Schlock Vault: The Pit and the Pendulum
I’m sorry, mistress, that you weren’t properly able to confess. There just wasn’t enough time to torture you.
Jarv’s Rating: 2 Changs out of 4. Not a classic, but not awful at all.
This is a momentous day. I have nearly scaled the North Face of Stuart Gordon, in that I’ve almost seen every film he’s done. This, I feel is some achievement, and as I near the summit, I would like to pause before I take on the last film, King of the Ants, and have a look at the treacherous incline that I just navigated unscathed. As I sit here, touching distance from the peak, enjoying a quiet smoke, I have to say that I’m actually quite impressed at the consistent level of goodness that he’s turned out. There’s only really Stuck that’s dogshit, while everything else has been good to excellent. The Pit and the Pendulum is no exception Read More…
Jarv’s Schlock Vault: Robot Jox
We are already dead. We are Robot Jox!
Jarv’s Rating: Two and a half Changs out of four. Fundamentally crap, really, but still damned funny on more than one occasion and it’s about people in big robot suits battling over the territory of Alaska. And to be honest, I’m never going to rate a film with a premise as incredibly stupid as that one with less than two changs.
GIANT ROBOTS PUNCHING EACH OTHER!!!! GIANT FUCKING ROBOTS PUNCHING EACH OTHER!!!
Actually, I wish, but there’s still plenty of stupidity to be laughed at here. Read More…
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