Tag Archive | Sorority Row

Jarv’s Schlock Vault: Sorority Row

Cassidy: I know, how inconvenient. Why couldn’t Ellie have had a nervous breakdown tomorrow? 

Jessica:You know Cassidy, your sarcasm makes you sound like a bitch. And nobody likes a bitch. 

Usual qualifying claim: While I think this is crap, the missus did really enjoy it, and it clearly isn’t as bad as some of the other remakes out there.

This remake trend really has to stop, and the sooner the better, frankly. I cannot think of one reason for Sorority Row to exist, given that it’s a remake of some crap 1970’s slasher movie that I’ve never even heard of, and the concept isn’t exactly high. This is, you guessed it, another of the identikit slashers out there, such as the absolutely awful Prom Night remake, or the even more reprehensibly awful When a Stranger Calls remake, that do not serve any purpose whatsoever. In the case of Sorority Row, though, it isn’t anywhere near as bad as those two previous examples, and the makers of it did at least understand what we want from Slashers for the most part: inventive deaths, boob, and the odd chuckle. Pity they nobbed it with an indescribably stupid ending with a twist that is astonishingly contrived and almost insulting to the intelligence.

To paraphrase the erudite Wolf: may contain pillow fights and spoilers below Read More…