Tag Archive | Seiji Chiba

Jarv’s Schlock Vault: Alien vs Ninja

Seriously.

Here in the Vault it has been noted that I’ve got a bit of  a blind spot for these silly low-budget Japanese gorefests. Previous classics that I’ve given my much-coveted seal of approval to include nonsense such as Vampire Girl v Frankenstein Girl, which I think I’m the only person on the planet that likes. However, this little gem promised from the trailer to be something really quite special. Not to mention look at the marketing for it: that fucking quote above is the tagline for the movie! How inspired, and it instantly raised Alien Vs Ninja up my list of films to be watched. My only qualm was that movie with “Versus” in the title are invariably dreadful and long experience has taught me that they should be treated with the same degree of caution that Don Murphy treats Weightwatchers meetings with. Seriously, look at the long and sorry list of them (I’m certain there’s a series here for someone when he’s finished being destroyed by Marvel): Alien v Predator, Alien v Predator: Rectum, Freddy v Jason, all of the “Stupid Animal A” v “Stupid Animal B” films, and so forth. Not one of the above mentioned, aside from maybe Freddy v Jason on a very generous day, I would rate even as high as mediocre. The problem here is how does a film maker live up to the premise of the title? Read More…