Tag Archive | Rip off

Jarv’s Schlock Vault: Munchies

“The fire of the gods? I wonder what that could be”

Jarv’s Rating: 3 Murphs. Offensively awful rip off of Gremlins with all the charm of the fat cunt himself. Unamusing, unoriginal, worthless horseshit. Watch Critters instead if you really want to see Gremlins plagiarised.

Mrs. Jarv is a very patient woman. I’m sure that she thinks that I’m basically a retard, and worth only pity, but she has got a level of tolerance for my idiotic foibles that would put Mother Theresa to shame. This film is a case in point. Read More…

Jarv’s Schlock Vault: Future Kill

Time to see how the other half lives

Jarv’s Rating: 1 Murph. This film is shit.

Due to a small technical error, I’m having to abandon my Class of Nuke ‘Em High trilogy. Instead, I’m reviewing the bona-fides Murph worthy bucket of shit that is Ronald Moore’s Future Kill. A film that has an inexplicably epic Giger designed poster that is so far superior to anything else that takes place that it is a crying shame it was squandered on this dismal rip off of The Warriors and Escape From New York. Read More…