Tag Archive | Ray Wise

Jarv’s Top 10 TV cunts

I’m just back from Spain, and because it was an absolutely hideous week I’m in what could be called an evil fucking temper. Therefore, as an act of pure therapy, I’ve been thinking about Television, and which characters are arguably the biggest cunts ever to grace the small screen. There is a proviso with this one- I don’t watch either soap operas or Reality TV, so I’m sure there are lots that I’ve missed (Cowell), and I have only included characters where I have witnessed the cuntishness on screen myself- hence no Lithgow from Season 3 Dexter. Furthermore, while Brent is no doubt a complete and utter cunt (of a type that I particularly loathe) I haven’t included him as there’s nothing more really to say as he’s made practically every other one of these lists out there.

So with no further ado, here are 10 of the most detestable bastards ever filmed for television. Read More…

Jarv’s Schlock Vault: Infestation

” I’m a student… of Shiatsu massage”


Jarv’s Rating: 2.5 Changs out of 4. Most Enjoyable.

After the pain and suffering inflicted on me by that talentless sack of cocks Fulci’s The Black Cat on Sunday, I decided that I needed a break from watching complete shit. So I rewatched this little gem from 2009.

It’s funny, but I held off reviewing this at the time, because learned scribe Echo the Bunnyman reviewed it elsewhere and my semi-coherent ranting pales in comparison to his proper critical prose. But I feel that enough time has passed for me to share my thoughts with the class. Read More…

The Underrated: Swamp Thing

Alan Moore, being the complaining hippy weirdo that he is, always moans that Hollywood has never managed to make a good film based on one of his funny books. He’s wrong. While Watchmen and LXG may suck something fierce, and From Hell and V for Vendetta manage to scale the dizzy heights of mediocre, one adaptation stands head and shoulders above the rest- that adaptation? Wes Craven’s Swamp Thing.

Read More…