Tag Archive | porn

Censor me! Sex and the BBFC: Emmanuelle.

Every week after I publish the censorship essay, I’m going to look at 1 film that fell foul of the Great British Censor. Last week’s topic was the sweaty-palm inducing sex, available here, and so this week I’m reviewing a film that upset the BBFC and had serious problems obtaining a certificate due to sexual content. As attitudes have changed, almost all of the films on this series have a received a full uncut release, but at the time they were either banned outright, banned on video, or slashed to ribbons. First up is pretentious French art-house soft-core porno Emmanuelle.

All citations come from the BBFC’s case study on Emmanuelle, available here Read More…

Jarv’s Schlock Vault: Bare Behind Bars

I just adore raspberry pudding

Is there a more sorry genre out there than the Women in Prison films? Exploitation cinema as a rule is dirty, seedy, nasty stuff, but these exist solely to show various acts of sadism inflicted on unlikely female convicts who exist to wander round in the buff and commit various sapphic acts for the pleasure of the hooting gibbons that comprise the audience. Even in a genre as sorry as this one, and let’s face it aside from Reform School Girls, which is a spoof anyhow, they’re all tacky garbage, this 1980 slice of grindhouse schlock may possibly be the most obnoxious one out there. So, I was clearly compelled to watch it, and, this is something I never thought I’d say, Bare Behind Bars (A Prisão) eventually managed to make even lesbianism boring. How could such a thing happen?

Read More…

Jarv’s Schlock Vault: Porn Shoot Massacre

Any more of this, and you’re going in the closet with the dead midget

Jarv’s Rating: 0.5 Changs out of 4– Quite spectacularly shit. A huge amount of juggs and a fetish midget are all that save this dismal garbage from the dreaded Orang of Doom.

I was always inevitably going to watch and review a film called Porn Shoot Massacre. Sadly, though, it’s crap and I had to have two attempts at watching it. This at least, I suppose, shows dedication to the cause. Read More…

The Underrated: Hardcore

Looking for images from this film has made me despair of humanity. Seriously. I knew it was going to happen, and it is asking for trouble, but you just try typing “hardcore” into google and see what you get. Eventually, on page 900, buried beneath a quite impressive selection of gay porn (and weirdly the odd photo of Darth Vader) you will eventually locate Paul Schrader’s 1979 classic. Read More…

Jarv’s Schlock Vault: Werewolf in a Women’s Prison

   You sound like a bad movie to me  Jarv’s Rating: 2 Changs out of 4- an unexpected and enjoyable film, albeit one that’s borderline soft core porn.  

“You sound like a bad movie to me”. I quite agree, love, you also look like a bad movie, and no amount of postmodernism can change that. Read More…

Jarv’s Schlock Vault: Thundercrack!

This film is fucking dreadful. There isn’t one redeeming feature, it is porn, and I’m not reviewing it properly.

Instead, through sheer coincidence, Echo happened to be on-line when I watched this, so I’m publishing the therapy session that took place- simply because it has my genuine reaction to this film. Bear in mind that Echo can’t see the film.

There is no critical merit to this review- and I’m pretty certain I spoil a lot of it. However, I’m telling you that this is officially the worst thing that I’ve ever seen. Read More…

Jarv’s Schlock Vault: Venus in Furs

“This is my husband. He’s a degenerate”

Oh Christ, here we go….. Read More…

Bottom Feeders: Jarv’s worst of the decade (REVISED)

I’m going to do a best of the decade in late December, along with my best and worst of the year. However, as I’ve been useless recently, and Xi and Wolf have got their lists started I thought I’d chip in with my bottom of the decade list.  Which I feel I can do because I don’t think I’ll see anything worse than this lot before the year end. Read More…