Tag Archive | Ned Beatty

Jarv’s Birthday Series Redux: The Big Easy (1987)

I liked New Orléans when I went there years ago. A great atmosphere, easy women, alcohol by the bucketload- what’s not to love? Actually, and this reminds me, and it’s got less than nothing at all to do with the film but may strike a laugh, me and my mate were walking down Bourbon Street 3 sheets to the wind. We stopped to buy another daiquiri off a friendly native selling them from a stall, when I happened to glance up at the balcony of the bar opposite. On this balcony stands two of the best looking women that I’ve ever seen. They’re also clearly hammered, as they’re stripping for the pleasure of the crowd below. However, standing next to them was one of the least attractive and heftiest women that I saw in my entire time in America. She’s clearly 9 Sheets to a hurricane and for some reason best known to herself is also taking her clothes off. I take a swig of my drink, nudge my mate and say “Do you think her mother’s proud?”. Just as I’m going to take another swig of delicious beverage, I feel the clout of a meaty paw to the back of my head. I turn round to see a small and angry middle-aged woman glaring up at me with the vengeance of an angered god in her eyes. Before I can mutter a word, she screams out “I AM ACTUALLY”.

Anyway, that’s got less than nothing to do with the film, at all, so here we go with the review.

May contain stuffed alligators  and spoilers below. Read More…

The Incredible Shrinking Woman (1981)

Director: Joel Schumacher

Starring: Lily Tomlin, Charles Grodin, Ned Beatty

Release date: January 30 (US). Stitching my booze-soiled notes together for this one. I had to split the movie up over two nights because I don’t think my sides would have survived the resulting laugh riot otherwise. May contain sarcasm and spoilers…

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