XIPHOS AND THE MOST VAUNTED OF ALL MINI REVIEWS #6

   

I had a couple of days “off” on the 24th and 25th so I decided to watch a few movies. All of these have been covered here before and have been out for awhile but I figured what the hell, why not beat a dead horse some more. These three flicks, X-Men: First Class, Bad Teacher and Conan were all summer releases and even taking that factor into account none of them are all that good. It’s sad how lame movies have become especially summer ones. When I was a kid, we got summer movies like Raiders, Star Wars, Empire, Jaws, Breaking Away and dozens of other big and small movies that were well made and more importantly, fun to watch. Now we get these three dogs or crap like Transformers and dozens of others none of which are all that good or very interesting. Anyway, here are some reviews for your perusal during the slow week between Christmas and New Years.

Jarv’s Birthday Series: Millennium (1989)

I can’t properly express how glad I am to see the back of the 80’s. It seems like late August was the dumping ground for no end of hideous shit, and I’ve waded through almost all of it. 1989’s contribution to the river of sewage was Millennium (release date August 17th 1989), and is a film I liked on first watch, but does not stand up to a second viewing. I suspect that I was overly enamoured with the clever premise of this film, because really, looking at it, it isn’t that good. In theory, all the component pieces are here to make a cracking film, but something went wrong, and it is, to be fair to it, an interesting failure.

This is how you do a remake: The Fly

Be Afraid. Be very afraid.

What a line. Geena Davis utters this much imitated piece of dialogue roughly two-thirds of the way through The Fly, Cronenberg’s seminal horror film. The Fly has everything: nail-biting horror, hard science fiction, superb writing, outrageous special effects, fine performances, repellent imagery and is one of the definitive horror films of the 80’s.

Jarv’s Schlock Vault: The Basket Case Trilogy

Basket Case

“They kept us hidden. We were the ‘big family secret’. everybody hated us”

Basket Case is a story about love. Honestly. It’s a story about one man’s love for his brother. It’s also a story about jealousy, passion, revenge and the trauma of separation anxiety manifesting in homicidal vengeance. However, most of all Basket Case is the story of a little mutant that lives in a wicker basket.