Director: Ralph Hemecker
Starring: Michael Biehn, Joong-Hoon Park, Don Stark
Bit late, sorry about that, I know you’re all pining for The Biehn. In wrapping up Vol. 2, I’m breaking new ground. After the dreaded draw was made and the Post-it unfurled, I was forced to raid Lovefilm for this one…
Director: Christian Duguay
Starring: Wesley Snipes, Anne Archer, Michael Biehn
Well, I’m on probation after Khan so I’m sailing into less choppy waters this time… The Biehn! Volume 2. My fearful return to the ‘Biehn Box’ this time drew out The Art Of War. Cack-knackers. I’ve no interest in this movie so apologies if the following ‘review’ is apathy personified…
Well, there you go. See what you can accomplish if you don’t have to answer to Congress?
Jarv’s Rating: It’s clearly time to break out the Ramirez of Insanity again. This film is barking mad.
I’m wondering if it’s acceptable to just stick “sploitation” on the end of another unrelated word to make up a new genre for your film. Seriously, I’ve heard of Exploitation, obviously, and Blaxploitation, and even Nunsploitation, but reading up on this film introduced me to a new one: “Godsploitation”. Godsploitation- I mean really, what does that even mean, and how, precisely, unless you are a high-ranking member of the Vatican or Dan Brown, can you possibly exploit God? What’s next “Colourbeigesploitation” to describe completely “blah” films like The Invention of Lying, or perhaps “giantrobotsploitation” for the Transformers films, or even “pornsploitation”. Although in hindsight, that last one works.
Anyhoo, Megiddo is apparently Godsploitation, whatever the fuck that means.
Director: Carl Schultz
Starring: Demi Moore, Michael Biehn, Jurgen Prochnow
Hello and welcome to the final part of the Biehn Season, Volume 1 trilogy. Poor Demi Moore, she’s the equivalent of cinematic kryptonite to me. No specific reason, although she’s usually in films I detest and therefore did conclude that it couldn’t be entirely coincidental. But back in 1988, the double delight of both The Biehn & Das Boot-er Jurgen meant I couldn’t ignore The Seventh Sign no matter how deep-seated my Demi-discrimination had become…
Director: Geoffrey Wright
Starring: Brittany Murphy, Michael Biehn, Candy Clark
Here we go with second instalment of the Biehn Season, Volume 1 trilogy. I’d never seen this Biehn flick, mainly because it sounded like every other ‘teen slasher’ out there. So it was with some trepidation I punched in to trusty stagevu and toddled into Cherry Falls…
Director: Avi Nesher
Starring: Michael Biehn, Patsy Kensit, Richard Jordan
Welcome to the Biehn Season, Volume 1 trilogy where I shall pick three classics starring the mighty Michael Biehn. My intention is to tactically swerve around the bigger titles and focus on ‘those we do not speak of’. Of course, me and ‘intention’ rarely share a hammock…
Now we’re talking. After a pretty lackluster (to say the least) start to his career, Arnie finally finds the role he was born to play. A massive, hulking, emotionless robot killing machine in James Camerons (official) directorial début. And what a terrific film it is.