Tag Archive | Matthew Lillard

Video Game Adaptations: In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (Director’s Cut)

God damn it. The monkey is right about this. It clearly, clearly sucks cock. In fact, it sucks cock for so long and with such dedication that it might as well be trying for an award for fellatio. I don’t know where I got the delusion that In the Name of the King was remotely acceptable from (that’s a bit of a lie, actually, I do know and I’ll come to it in a moment), but this is 2 hours and 35 minutes of fun and games of utter mind-numbing tedium. I seem to remember the monkey making some joke about being mugged by boredom and well, he’s completely correct. This is a boring film. In fact, In the Name of the King is so boring it’s like being clobbered over the head by a giant Excel manual. Pah. Read More…

The Underrated: Dead Man’s Curve

You know a film has been completely forgotten about when you can’t find a single image of it on-line. Not one. So, for this week’s underrated effort, I’m going to write a little review in praise of Dan Rosen’s long forgotten career-launching vehicle, Dead Man’s Curve. Due to lack of images, this will be short. Read More…