Tag Archive | Marvel

A Droid Premiere: Captain America: Civil War (2016)

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Last month, DC attempted to launch a franchise by pitting its two most famous and beloved superheroes against each other. ‘Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice’ turned out to be a bit of a mess. Some good things, and some not so good things. One of its biggest problems was that it felt overstuffed with characters and plot. Now, just a month later, Marvel is bringing us its own overstuffed movie that pits hero against hero. And while ‘Captain Himself: Fuck Everybody Else’ is just as long and just as loud as ‘Batman v Superman’, is it just as much of a mess? Let’s find out.

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Just Pillow Talk’s Marvel Movie Mayhem continues with a 2 for 1 special!

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Exactly what the title says. This time our intrepid reviewer has decided to take on 2 of the recent and shitty comic book adaptations being nut rubbed by the nerds, met with indifference by the general public while boring the arse off me.

Sadly, they’re not Ghost Rider 2. Although I am deeply troubled by his worrying Ex-Mrs. Martin obsession. Still, she seems to have had a conscious uncoupling from the Iron Man films now, so he’ll have to watch her try to act to get his fix.

Apologies for the late posting of this, I’ve had it for a while, but been buried under real life stuff. Nevertheless, Take it away Pillows… Read More…

REVIEW – Guardians of the Galaxy: Space Camp

GotG_01By zombie_fatigue

Many thanks to zombie_fatigue for writing up this review of Marvel’s latest exercise in mediocrity (I say sight unseen). Cheers mate.

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A Droid Premiere – Iron Man Three (TwentyThirteen)

a-droid-premiereIn two thousand and eight, an ambitious superhero series was started. Over the course of five films, four main characters (and a fair few periphery one’s) were introduced. The quality of these films varied from fairly good (Thor, Iron Man) to staggeringly bad (Iron Man Two). Somewhere along the line the series became known as “Phase One”. It all culminated in TwentyTwelve’s ‘The Avengers’, which was over-enthusiastically cupped and stroked by slobbering hordes of fanbois worldwide. I had fun with the film, but really, it wasn’t particularly good. ‘The Avengers’ went on to become the third highest grossing film of all time. Five years after the first ‘Iron Man’ hit the screens and made Robert Downey Jr a Hollywood darling, Tony Stark returns in ‘Iron Man Three’ (the credits make a point of using “three” and I’m not sure why), the first film of “Phase Two”. The conveyer belt of mediocrity continues to chug along mercilessly inflicting Marvel movies on the all too willing public. Read More…

Just Pillow Talk v Marvel Comics 13: Thor

This is version 3 of the Thor logo, and I’d like to thank Droid for the wording. 

Anyhoo, I rewatched Thor last night, and I almost think this might be the best Marvel movie not called Blade out there. Now, I know that sounds unlikely, because it’s dumber than a lobotomised Welshman (not sure you can tell the difference, actually), but nevertheless Kenneth Branagh’s adaptation of arguably the silliest Marvel Hero has several things that most of these type of films don’t actually have: a sense of scale, a sense of humour, and a good villain. So, credit where it’s due, Shakespeare scholar Branagh took an inherently dumbhouse idea and turned in a film that is far, far better than it has any right to be. When you think about all the po-faced joy-sucking efforts masquerading as Superhero films that Marvel has turned out, I really, truly believe that Branagh needs commending for this. Not that my opinion matters a jot, here’s Just Pillow Talk with his thoughts on the Mighty Thor… Read More…

Just Pillow Talk v Marvel Comics 12 part 2. Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer

You can always tell when JPT is struggling with a review. I don’t read them before they go live, aside from the obligatory run of a spell check, but if I see the presence of a naked/ scantily clad leading lady on the bottom then it’s better than even chance that he’s hated the movie. Anyhow, he’s right this is a turd of a film.

Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfercomes complete with all of the problems of the first film, but adds the kryptonite of comic book films: a dance scene. Name me one good comic book movie with a dance scene in it? Spidey 3? How about Iron Man 2? Nope, there isn’t one.

Anyhoo, this also features a space surfing silver Oscar statue with no penis, so there must be some amusement there, surely… Read More…

Just Pillow Talk v Marvel Comics. Number 9, part 2: Iron Man 2

Welcome back to Just Pillow Talk’s tour of insipid cinema. Marvel adaptations are, judging by this series, a pretty uninspiring bunch with very few of them becoming elevated above their source material. In fact, it does seem that he’s seen an awful lot that I’d term as being utter shit.  He split up the two Iron Man reviews, probably for reasons of sanity, as the second Iron Man film is dogshit by any reasonable standard. Nevertheless, he’s back with his update from the bowels of funny book hell:  Read More…

Just Pillow Talk v Marvel Comics 10. The Punisher

This was clearly not meant to be like this, but I’m killing time before going to see New Year’s Eve (I’d rather get caught breaking into Frank Castle’s house than do this) and as he’s sent both Punisher reviews in, we can double the punishment in one big, fat orgy of ass kickery. Well, half of one.

I actually like both of these films, for my sins, especially War Zone, but I do wonder why it is so hard to adapt The Punisher properly. I mean, it’s basically Death Wish, as far as I understand: 1 big bastard cleans up the streets. How can this group of Marvel adapters possibly fuck this one up… Read More…

Just Pillow Talk v Marvel Comics 6 (4): Wolverine

I’m starting to wonder if the X-Men films aren’t the hardest individual section of the funny book tour. Other franchises only tend to have 1 bad movie in them, but this one is 5 films and of the 4 I’ve seen only 1 is an OK movie, and even then it isn’t very good. 

Sorry about the delay with this. Here’s Just Pillow Talk with Wolverine, the X-Men prequel nobody needed: Read More…

Just Pillow Talk v Marvel Comics Number 9: Iron Man

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I had all intentions of reviewing Wolverine next, but Netflix had other ideas and sent me a cracked disc. So I went to my fall back plan (not Howard the Duck) and threw in Iron Man. This movie really falls under a ‘comfort’ movie for me. I consider it a reliable Marvel movie, one that is quite solid for the first ¾ of the movie, but then loses a bit of momentum for the finale. The problem isn’t the special effects in the finale, but rather the scope of it. The battle between Stark and Stane is okay if that were the first fight. But for the final battle, it’s lacking.

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