Tag Archive | Linda Fiorentino

XIPHOS AND THE QUICK AND DIRTY HIT #6 VISION QUEST

junk_punch1

My apologies to Conti. I said I was going to review Hooper as the next installment in this series until Jarv made reference to Mathew Modine in his Married To The Mob review and the light bulb went off. This movie is stretching the new direction of this series since I was about 16 when Vision Quest hit and that’s really on the far side of being a movie that would have a lot of impact on my fragile eggshell mind. The thing is though, I was a high school wrestler and this movie came out during wrestling season and was a big hit with the team and with anybody I have met that wrestled. Also I had read the book the movie was based on twice before, once in 1980 then again just before the start of the wrestling season in 1983ish, so I think by combining both movie and book it just barely meets the criteria for this series. The book is an excellent coming of age story that Catcher In the Rye wished it was. FYI, I will be referring to the book some while reviewing the movie so this is really a twofer review. This combined approach gave me an idea for another series: good movie adaptations of books. There are some believe it or not. I will have to investigate that idea further.

Read More…

Advertisements

Smut! Jarv sniggers at 10 of the worst sex scenes ever filmed

So, sex on film, eh? I’m sure the pillars of civilisation are due to crumble over this subject. Honestly, mankind has raped, murdered and generally been sex-addled since the dawn of time, but cinema comes along at the arse end of the last millenium and two consenting adults feigning coitus on screen is certain to send us all back to the dark ages. Having said that, not all sex scenes are actually titillating, erotic, or even meaningful. Many of them, actually, are embarrassing, unintentionally funny or just plain inept. These are 10 absolute howlers- scenes that are humiliating for the cast, crew, director and viewer, and all of them deserve recognition for being truly awful.

Because we’re fucking family friendly, and I’ve done this at work, there’s no boob, and I’ve been forced to just use the covers of the films. But in most cases, you’re not missing anything. So with no further ado, let us begin the countdown of 10 of the most painfully inept, shameful and downright incompetent sex-scenes ever filmed: Read More…

The Underrated: The Last Seduction

The Last Seduction, if I were ever to do something as dumb as this for the 90’s(an infinitely better decade than 2000-2010), would be in my top 10. It’s got a 94% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and it contains one of the definitive female performances of that decade. So, I suppose, technically it isn’t underrated. Except, and here’s the rub, that this is a film that revisionist clowns are now claiming is bad, and one that, even worse, seems to have dropped off the radar. I’m not joking with that- Mrs. Jarv (who tends to be quite knowledgeable about these sort of things had never even heard of it).

Read More…