The Return of Jarv’s Birthday Series- Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (2014)

I’d completely repressed the fact that we’d done these bloody birthday series, which come complete with the added bonus of only being stopped by the reviewers’ actual death. Anyhoo, as I’m still on the unemployment train, I thought I’d have a look to see what treasures 2012, 2013, 2014 and 2015 had left for me before my imminent birthday this year. So, having briefly perused Wikipedia, I was quite pleased to see a palatable list that I’ve already (for the most part) seen and, more importantly, didn’t hate. My provisional list is: Premium Rush, You’re Next, Sinister 2 and, for 2014 and today’s entry, Sin City: A Dame to Kill For. I’ll also update the scores for the first run through after I catch up with 2016’s entry.

Contains new material written especially for Werewolves on the Moon that isn’t as good as the material that has already been published in this series (heh) and spoilers below

Jarv’s Schlock Vault: Machete Kills

Machete don’t tweet

Jarv’s rating: Approved, by the slimmest of margins. Actually manages to be better than the original, but not great overall, and toning down the nudity? What the fuck?

It’s been a good while since I’ve done a vault review, or even watched anything that would qualify as worthy of the vault, so this one may be a little rough round the edges. I’d even forgotten how I used to lay these reviews out when I started, so had to go back and have another look. *shudders* I really have watched some absolute rubbish over the years, but in amongst that mess I’ve had nothing but contempt for modern exploitation and have singularly bitched each and every one of them out that I’ve reviewed. Ranging from the deeply repellent (Nude Nuns or Hobo With a Shotgun) to the deeply boring and underpowered (Cherry Bomb), this misbegotten Tarantino spawned subsection of cinema struggles to produce anything remotely decent and seems to be thankfully going the way of the dodo. However, I suspect that the most successful iteration of it, Danny Trejo’s unstoppable Machete, may still have one last hurrah left in him before the “movement” ends.

Contains Carlos Estevez and Spoilers below