Tag Archive | Kim Cattrall

Mrs Jarv tries hard to solve the mystery that is Sex and the City

Personally, I wouldn’t touch this crap with a 90ft bargepole on the end of another 90ft bargepole. However, cruel fate has conspired against me, and one of our friends has given the lovely wife the entire fucking box set of this hateful crap (which, by the way, comes in a shoe box). Being the kind soul that she is, she’s also lent her both movies. I’m sure this is an act of psychological warfare designed to make me miserable.

However, as with the faulty R2 unit’s attempt to get me to watch that insipid trash with Aniston in it, I am so far entirely unscathed. You see, what has not been taken into account is that the Rugby World Cup is currently on. As a direct result of this, I have commandeered the big TV in the living room, and Mrs. Jarv, who has no interest in Rugby when the USA and Jonny Wilkinson aren’t playing is quite happy plonked in front of the little TV gorging herself on this dross. So I haven’t seen a single minute yet.

Once memorably described by a certain cenobite-plagued simian as being about 4 of hell’s foulest demons, which isn’t an exaggeration, SATC represents everything that is wrong with current culture. It’s shameless promotion of a shallow, disposable consumer lifestyle, coupled with characters for whom the description “Wafer thin” is being far too generous, this agonising, unfunny, obnoxious series ran for what seemed like an eternity and spawned two feature films so lacking in value that they legitimately represent the nadir of 21st Century cinema. So, I asked her, why would you watch this?

She’s had a long think about it, and reckons she has cracked the mystery that has plagued generations of boyfriends/ husbands: why do women like this obnoxious crap?  Read More…

Casper v Shitty Eurotrash vampires in LA: Revenant

Hoo-boy this film is shit.

Actually, on paper, this looks like quite a good idea (in a really stupid kind of way). Take Casper, modern vampires, LA, gangbangers and an Austrian Van Helsing, mix together with a decent amount of gore and season liberally with a shit load of gratuitous nudity, and you should have a recipe for some silly fun. Yet, it isn’t fun (for the most part). Read More…