This will be my final Video Game adaptation review for a while as I simply cannot take the plethora of dross that the genre contains any longer. I gleefully admit to intentionally seeking out and watching more rubbish than is healthy, but I do it in the hope of unearthing a nugget of joy, something that will make me laugh, the odd legitimately unfairly overlooked film, or, at the very least, something I can be entertainingly rude about. The problem with Video Game adaptations is that they aren’t, for the most part, entertaining. What they are is boring and annoying and I’ve squandered far too much of my valuable time on them. I was hoping in this open-ended series to be able to say “See, they aren’t all rubbish, there is some gold out there”, but instead I’ve been molested by film after film so wretched that I’ve had to either find excuses not to give them the Orangutan of Doom or, in a few cases, I’ve even made up new ratings to get round this. To sum up, I really cannot take it any more, and I’m signing off for the forseeable with the first ever Video Game Adaptation, the utterly disastrous Super Mario Brothers.
Contains heavy borrowing from Jamie Russel in The Guardian’s excellent article and spoilers below.
After a very, very rough couple of decades, Just Pillow Talk looks at the 1990’s, I’d imagine, with a bright-eyed sense of optimism. He’s got a couple of actual good films coming up soon in Silence of the Lambs and Wayne’s World, but before that he’s got to negotiate the potential pitfall that is Revenge, a film I’ve never seen.
This is how he got on:
God what a fucking awful awful shit film. Seriously. This movie makes the Troma team look like fucking Oscar Bait geniuses because fuck me this goat fucker has been floating along on the BRILLIANTness of his first two films. Just looking at the box office for this movie….it made enough to warrant a sequel. Cost $48 million, world wide gross $163 million. Though after this, M. Night’s second failed attempt at a trilogy, I’m thinking he just says shit to try to make his movies seem smarter.