Tag Archive | Jake Gyllenhaal

NIGHTCRAWLER: THE MORE FEMININE GYLLENHALL SIBLING OOZES ABOUT THE BENIGHTED LA LANDSCAPE

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If you are believer in the myth that only “faux’ news is deceitful and lying this isn’t the review for you. Also go fuck yourself for being a self-deluded cocksucker. If you think the shitbird hacks that work in the newsfotainment industry aren’t a slimy treacherous lying bunch of sociopaths then fuck you this isn’t the review for you and don’t have kids, the gene pool is already much too muddied for its own good. If you are easily offended by adult words and phrases such as cocksucker and motherfucker then hit the eject button NOW because this review is going to be full up with salty language due to my near pathological hatred for “news”, for “journalist” and anything to do with those lying in the tank peices of shit that work in the newsfotainment industry. You’ve been warned. Read More…

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Quantum Droid: Source Code (2011)

Quantum-DroidSince I have a sincere love for anything that relates to time travel (thanks to seeing Back to the Future as a youngster, which is of course the greatest movie of all time!), I hereby introduce a new review series, Quantum Droid. There’s a heck of a lot of material for this series, and I will look in on it every now and then as a break from the usual series I’ve got going. The inaugural entry for this series is the newly released ‘Source Code’. Enjoy.

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Video Game Adaptations Part 3- Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

So far on this ill-thought out odyssey through the bowels of video game adaptations I’ve really been rather lucky. Well, luck is 80% planning and I have deliberately eased myself into this series gently with 2 actually passable films. Therefore it’s now clearly time to start the spiral down into the hell that is most video game adaptations. As a rule, if you see something is “based on a game” then you pretty much know two things: 1) It has nothing at all to do with the game outside of the title and maybe one other point (Resident Evil, Streetfighter, Streetfighter: The Legend of Chun Li, Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within); and 2) that it sucks. There are exceptions that slavishly adapt the game a la Silent Hill and manage not to suck, but really for the most part no phrase should put you off watching a film more than “Based on the video game”. Prince in Persia: The Sands of Time is a case in point. Read More…