Tag Archive | Isabel Brook

Jarv’s Schlock Vault: Faust- Love of the Damned

I am the pornography that gets you hot!

Jarv’s Rating: Yup, it gets the Ramirez of Insanity. This is a fundamentally terrible film, however it’s also one written by an angry posse of Manic Depressives who’ve been off the lithium for a while. Seriously, the climax of this film features a black mass/ orgy where a woman gives birth to a snake which is then fellated by a restrained guy smeared in that clay stuff that posh spas flog to credulous rich women as Facemask for £900 a tub before a giant penis demon appears and watches our villain have grubby S&M sex with our heroine while a guy in a terrible demon costume watches and cries for a while. Nuts. Completely and utterly nuts.

As I near the summit of Mount Yuzna, I have to say that for the most part it’s been a very pleasurable experience. The majority of the films on this list have been cheerful schlocky garbage, with a few legitimately underrated gems in there. Unfortunately, something seemed to go wrong for the big fella Post-Bride of Re-Animator, and with the exception of Beyond Re-Animator, the rest of them have been, well, pretty terrible. Entertaining as all hell, don’t get me wrong, but I’m starting to think that Society and the Re-Animator films are the exception rather than the rule. Take Faust: Love of the Damned, for example. I’m reliably informed that this mess is based on a funny book (oh dear), and I’m also reliably informed that it’s an “adult” funnybook. Now, when I hear that expression I automatically think of Hentai and Japanese schoolgirls being molested by giant Tentacle penis monsters from Dimension X (or whatever). Which really doesn’t bode well for the film. Read More…