Tag Archive | Emily Blunt

A REVIEW OF ALL YOU NEED IS KILL…ER…I MEAN THE DORK TREK TITLED CRUISER SCI-FI FLICK

Live Die repeat

Here’s a quick review of the Cruise Missile Man’s Groundhog Day battle/sci fi/war flick All You Need is Kill. Sorry Jarv, I’m going with the grammatically incorrect but much more apt original title since it works better with the story than that shitty Christian Rock album title. Read More…

Quantum Droid – Looper (2012) vs Safety Not Guaranteed (2012)

Quantum-DroidOriginally, this review was going to be about ‘Looper’. Then I saw a small indie film that was on my radar since the Sundance film festival earlier in the year called ‘Safety Not Guaranteed’. Both films revolve around the subject of time travel, but their respective approaches are completely different. A comparison might make interesting reading. We’ll see.

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Made In Britain: Gnomeo and Juliet

If there’s one thing I hate, then it’s the Welsh. However, if there are a few other things that I really detest then they are Elton John and Garden Gnomes. Both represent individually the naffest and most embarrassing output of the United Kingdom and I do wish both of them would fuck off back to the 70’s where they belong. Seriously, is there anything more crap in the known universe than a little ceramic cunt spoiling an otherwise lovely lawn? Or the sound of Elton John murdering some nauseating power ballad to a woman that he didn’t know, or even worse, rewriting it for the People’s Princess (excuse  me while I go and vomit somewhere)? Actually, in fairness, and I suppose I should be fair, there is a practical use to the humble garden gnome: it’s that the presence of one in a garden is a cast-iron signifier that a complete and utter cunt lives in the house. Or alternatively a pensioner. One of the two, anyway. So, this does beg the question, what in the name of Lucifer’s bunghole was I doing watching a film produced by Elton John and his husband retelling Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet with garden gnomes? Read More…

Droid howls with laughter at ‘The Wolfman’

the wolfman poster There is a point very early on in ‘The Wolfman’ where you realise that it’s not going to be an effective horror, but it might just make a hilarious comedy. It’s the introduction of Anthony Hopkins character, and his performance is the first indication that the tone in this film is completely out of control. The film is all over the map, but mostly entertaining if you let it be.

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