Tag Archive | Eli Roth

Jarv’s Birthday Series Redux: The Last Exorcism (2010)

When I was looking through the 2010 films, The Last Exorcism (Release date: August 27th) stood out. Generally I should be all over this sort of film like a rash, but for some reason I just managed to miss it. I couldn’t really work out why it had slipped under my radar for a while but a couple of minutes of research gave it away. There are two features of The Last Exorcism that were almost guaranteed to make me avoid seeing it. The first is that it’s found footage. I know that with the likes of Troll Hunter, and the Rec films that found footage has had a bit of a resurgence and isn’t sucking ass with quite as much gusto (despite Romero’s best effort), but the thought of watching a hand-held camera shake around while the imbecile using it is too stupid to put it down to escape ordinarily puts me right off. However, more importantly, I saw that massive vortex of suck Eli Roth had his sticky mitts all over it. Roth is, to my thinking, one of the least talented individuals to ever be granted the right to make films. Every time I see his name I just instantly avoid watching the film, as I know that what I’m about to see will be asinine, juvenile, pathetic, irritating, and slightly less scary than the average episode of Sesame Street.

Does not contain luminous green projectile vomit, but instead contains quite impressive contortions and spoilers below.

Read More…

Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever, don’t catch it

Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever

Even the cover reeks of studio tampering

A-HA! From IMDB:

Read More…

Inglourious Ass-Turds: the bowl winder review

Inglourious BasTURDS

Fuck you Cokey McFrankenstein Head


Inglourious BasTURDS

receives -356.715 negative Chang Heads

Read More…