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Jarv’s Schlock Vault: Shark Night 3D

What are all these sharks doing here? 

Fuck this film.

After the success of Piranha 3D in 2010, the inevitable happened: a whole host of geniuses decided to copy the formula laid out in Piranha and then translate it for other large hungry fish. Obviously, the biggest, scariest and hungriest is the noble shark, and so it was inevitable that one of the first out of the blocks would be Shark Night 3D.

Does not contain a single solitary boob sighting, but does contain spoilers below: Read More…

Just Pillow Talk v Marvel Comics Number 7: Ghost Rider

This is hilarious. Honestly, it’s really funny for everyone other than our poor correspondent Just Pillow Talk. He’s finally starting to realise the enormity and awfulness of the Marvel Movie challenge, and with this review, he’s hit the absolute nadir of the series. Ghost Rider is an incomprehensibly boring and awful film punctuated by the occasional bit of epic stupidity, yet what Pillows hasn’t considered is that the not-at-all-eagerly anticipated sequel is out at the start of next year! So he’s got to go through this again!

Anyhoo, here’s his first encounter with the Devil’s biker: Read More…