Tag Archive | Dennis Hopper

Jarv’s Birthday Series Redux: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)

As I approach the last handful of films on the Birthday List, this is where I expect the quality to start varying wildly. The problem is that when you near the early 80’s, it becomes more difficult to pin down the exact release date of the various films, so you’re left with whatever you can get hold of. The rules to The Birthday Series are simple: take your date of birth, and review a film that was released somewhere as close to that date as possible.  There’s always the odd classic that leaps out, but the rest of them tend to be a mishmash of schlocky garbage, nonsense sequels, unfunny comedies and heavy-hitting drama. It is strange, actually, but one of the anomalies of my list is the sheer absence of action movies. Which is a shame, because I like those.  Anyhow, I haven’t had a horror movie in a while, so let’s step up with Tobe Hooper’s belated sequel to his all-time classic: it’s The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (release date 22nd August 1986). I vaguely recalled seeing this about 15 years ago, and not liking it very much, so this bodes well for this review.

May contain a Chili cook off and spoilers below Read More…

Video Game Adaptations: Super Mario Brothers

This will be my final Video Game adaptation review for a while as I simply cannot take the plethora of dross that the genre contains any longer. I gleefully admit to intentionally seeking out and watching more rubbish than is healthy, but I do it in the hope of unearthing a nugget of joy, something that will make me laugh, the odd legitimately unfairly overlooked film, or, at the very least, something I can be entertainingly rude about. The problem with Video Game adaptations is that they aren’t, for the most part, entertaining. What they are is boring and annoying and I’ve squandered far too much of my valuable time on them. I was hoping in this open-ended series to be able to say “See, they aren’t all rubbish, there is some gold out there”, but instead I’ve been molested by film after film so wretched that I’ve had to either find excuses not to give them the Orangutan of Doom or, in a few cases, I’ve even made up new ratings to get round this. To sum up, I really cannot take it any more, and I’m signing off for the forseeable with the first ever Video Game Adaptation, the utterly disastrous Super Mario Brothers.

Contains heavy borrowing from Jamie Russel in The Guardian’s excellent article and spoilers below.

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The Underrated: Red Rock West

Whatever happened to John Dahl? Seriously? The Last Seduction is a fine film, Rounders is OK, despite Matt Damon, but he’s been relegated to making bad TV. I don’t get it. These films can’t have been expensive to make, and I seem to remember The Last Seduction being something of a hit, so why the boycott? Anyhow, before The Last Seduction made Linda Fiorentino famous for a truly boner inducing turn as the definitive femme-fatale of the 90’s (Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct had nothing compared) Dahl made Red Rock West: proof positive that the hairpiece can act when he puts his mind to it, Dennis Hopper does a great psycho, Lara Flynn Boyle was hot, JT Walsh underrated,  and that noir wasn’t dead. Read More…

The Underrated: Speed

This may appear to be a strange choice for an underrated film, seeing as it made a colossal amount of cash at the box office at the time, and was greeted with a generally positive (bar a few po-faced douches) reception from critics. It’s also a film that I don’t know anyone personally who doesn’t like it.

However, over the course of time, its reputation is being savaged and it seems to be sinking into the mire of “guilty pleasure”. Forget that, this is no guilty pleasure- it’s a superior thriller and all round legitimately good film.

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