Tag Archive | Comic Book adaptation

Jarv’s Schlock Vault: The Return of Swamp Thing

There may be some side-effects.

That’s OK, we can discover them together

This comes as a genuine surprise. I am an admitted fan of the first Swamp Thing, which I reviewed here ages ago, but to be honest that had a lot of things going for it including sharp writing, excellent actors, Wes Craven, and Adrienne Barbeau’s tits  (never an unwelcome addition to any film), but I didn’t know it was a hit of any description. Needless to say it clearly did make enough for Jim Wynorski of soft porn and Chopping Mall fame to take a stab at it. This is a man with sensibilities that are best described as base, so surely, The Return of Swamp Thing should be a grimier, dirtier, more full of gratuitous skin and sleazier affair than the original. Obviously, being a sequel, the cast won’t be up to scratch, particularly since nefarious Dr. Arcane croaked after turning into a giant pig monster in the first film, but still, I’m expecting boobs, violence and a ridiculous plant man in a rubber suit.

Contains the Supervillian version of Hugh Hefner and Spoilers below.

Read More…

Jarv’s Birthday Series: Blade (1998)

Who remembers the time before the all-conquering comic book movie? Seriously, this isn’t as strange a question as it sounds, but back in 1998, the only funny book adaptation for ages had been Batman. Marvel had tied themselves up into some lunacy with crossover story lines and clones and some such, and Batman and Robin had died in a major way a few yeas prior. Against this backdrop, a promising British Special Effects person was handed the directing reins on a minor Marvel adaptation: Blade. It was released on 21st August 1998 in America, and it is no exaggeration to say that Blade remains in the top 5 comic book adaptations to date. For the sake of argument, in my opinion the rest of that list is Superman: the Movie, The Dark Knight and, er…

Well, you get the idea. As a rule, comic book films tend to be mediocre to shit, and the massive amount of them simply means that we are exposed to a lot of dreck about fools in badly fitting tights disguised as cinema. Incidentally, and not related to anything else, why is it so damned hard to make a good Hulk movie? We’ve either got one that thinks it is a Greek Tragedy with a constipated Chinese Hulk with Daddy issues who fights a cloud, or one that thinks it, well, I’m not sure the word “think” is applicable, but this Hulk comes complete with a moron Hulk who fights a dinosaur while suffering from erectile dysfunction. Neither of these are any good.
Read More…


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 718 other followers