Tag Archive | Claymation

Jarv’s Schlock Vault: Pervert!

The following movie has been rated “Horny Fourteen.” Pregnant women and men who already have an erection at this point in the film should leave the theater now.

I was once asked to describe a Russ Meyer film. Believe it or not, that isn’t actually the easiest thing in the world to do, and the best I could come up with was “Imagine if you’d never seen a porno before. Then imagine that you wanted to watch a full length movie with women with humongous breasts, comedy music, and occasional intentional jokes. Then imagine a bit of bloodshed thrown in to the mix, and, by the way, I’m really not joking about the ginormous juggs”. That, really, is not the best description ever written of the oeuvre of the king of sexploitation cinema, famed auteur of films such as Vixen, Up! and Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! but I do struggle to think of a better one. Basically, every Russ Meyer film that I’ve ever seen (including Ebert scripted Beyond the Valley of the Dolls) is basically notable for being stock full of women with frankly enormous boobs and I struggle to really remember anything else about them. Sadly, postmodernist dickheads (looking at you, again, cokey) have rehabilitated the old filth merchant’s reputation and he’s now some kind of worthy director. For the record, I don’t buy this- as I’ve seen Vixen and I struggle to think of anything more cack handed than the racism plot in that. Nevertheless, his body of work is now apparently groundbreaking satire (honestly), and as such Ren and Stimpy director Jonathan Yudis decided to create his very own pastiche of Meyer films in 2005’s “cult hit” Pervert!

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Jarv’s Schlock Vault: Oversexed Rugsuckers from Mars

   I don’t care what you say, I’m in love with Dusty!      

    Jarv’s Rating: 2.5 Changs. I want to give it more, but have to admit to this being a hilarious but deeply rubbish film.     

 

Mrs. Jarv, paragon of patience that she is, passed her limit with me the other week. Apparently it is not amusing, and is certainly childish to deliberately want to see a film called something as patently absurd as Oversexed Rugsuckers from Mars. My feeble justifications that it wasn’t in fact lesbian porn melted like a snowman in the sunshine when I was pointedly asked to explain what, if that is the case, it actually is about and more importantly, why the fuck would anyone want to watch something called Oversexed Rugsuckers from Mars that isn’t porn. Read More…