Tag Archive | burt reynolds

Video Game Adaptations: In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (Director’s Cut)

God damn it. The monkey is right about this. It clearly, clearly sucks cock. In fact, it sucks cock for so long and with such dedication that it might as well be trying for an award for fellatio. I don’t know where I got the delusion that In the Name of the King was remotely acceptable from (that’s a bit of a lie, actually, I do know and I’ll come to it in a moment), but this is 2 hours and 35 minutes of fun and games of utter mind-numbing tedium. I seem to remember the monkey making some joke about being mugged by boredom and well, he’s completely correct. This is a boring film. In fact, In the Name of the King is so boring it’s like being clobbered over the head by a giant Excel manual. Pah. Read More…

The Birthday Series – The Dukes of Hazzard (2005)

Droids Birthday Series 2005 Just so you know, I’m counting down to my birthday by reviewing one movie that was released on or around August 2nd for every year I’ve sullied earths good name. Have a gander at 2005.

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Kloipy’s cycle is all screwed up from New Moon

 

2 hours and 10 minutes. That is the time of my life that is never coming back thanks to The Twilight Saga: New Moon. Or as I like to refer to it, Twatlight. This movie is like cinematic vomit. It’s the same stuff regurgitated over and over again, and by the end of it I was left with the need for some Pepto. Read More…