Tag Archive | Brad Dourif

Jarv’s Birthday Series Redux: Color of Night (1994)

Hehehehehehe. To quote the not-forgotten monkey: BOOBS, ASS, MINKY! FTW!

Color of Night (release date 19th August in the USA) is a monumentally dumb film, so dumb in fact that it forgot the definite article at the start of its title. It’s also a hilarious one, but don’t let that distract you from the fact that on almost every level this is a cinematic stinker, a borderline skin-flick with a plot that would get laughed out of even the worst airport fiction. It’s so blazingly and crushingly inept, actually, that it doesn’t belong here and should live in the vault along with the other dregs of cinema. That it doesn’t is that it was directed by Oscar Nominated Richard Rush, and stars (check this out) Bruce Willis, Jane March (who incidentally, and quite understandably, hates it), Lesley Ann Warren, Scott Bakula, Brad Dourif, Ruben Blades, Lance Henriksen, Eriq LaSalle and Kathleen Wilhoite. Holy shit, what a cast, and what a fucking laughably awful film. I think the best word for it is “risible”.

Absolutely under no circumstances does this contain Bruce Willis’ cock, but it may contain spoilers below. Read More…

Jarv’s Schlock Vault: Progeny

I think that baby is normal, but Craig is crazy.

Jarv’s Rating: 2 Changs out of 4. Not what it’s billed as, thankfully.

I have to say that I did approach this effort of Yuzna’s with some trepidation. Space Rape films aren’t really my thing, being more in Wolf’s territory than anything else (Inseminoid, Xtro et al). Furthermore, the later Yuzna films have marked a severe decline in quality from the late 80’s/ early 90’s heyday. Still, 100% completion is something to aspire to, so with a mild sense of trepidation, I put it on. I would like to use this chance to express my absolute gratitude that this isn’t as billed- being more of a psychological thriller than anything else. Albeit one with a touch of tentacle molestation. You know, Yuzna had to throw in something to keep his fanbase happy. Read More…

The Underrated: The Eyes of Laura Mars

Well, this film was unexpected. I put it on the list as it was initially released on August 2nd 1978, which I deemed close enough to my actual date of birth to include it in the birthday series. Since then it’s been superseded by another film, but, regardless, I was intrigued about the premise enough to give it a watch. Probably because it sounds a lot like Blink with Madeleine Stowe and I really like that film. Nevertheless, though, The Eyes of Laura Mars was a pleasant surprise. Read More…