Tag Archive | Australia

How I learned to stop worrying and love the Apocalypse, part 2: The Rover (2014)

The Rover poster

It’s been pointed out to me at length on the last review in this series that I didn’t define the rules properly. This is true, I left them intentionally vague. Much like Batman, I have one rule with this series: all reviews will feature an apocalyptic event, either before or afterwards, but each type of event will only be used once for this cycle. That way, if I feel like it, I can use things like Seeking a Friend for the End of the World at one end of the scale and, say, Mad Max 2 at the other. Other than that, it’s open season and I’m hoping for a nice mix of the epic and the small-scale without too many duds.  Anyhoo, this entry is David Michôd’s follow up to the excellent Animal Kingdom, 2014’s The Rover.

Contains an angry midget and spoilers below. Read More…

The Ashes 2013: Perth

I think it’s the moustache. Shave it off and he’ll be shite again.

And just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse…

What a beating.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that this current England side is worse than the shambles we sent out in 2006. History was not kind to them, although the eventual whitewash proved to be somewhat of a last hurrah for the great Aussie side.  Read More…

The Ashes 2013: Part 2- Adelaide

Look at the state of this cunt. Shameful to be demolished by him.

Ouch.

I would look up an image of a thorough spanking, but I suspect my work server would have a shitfit. Read More…

The Ashes 2013-2014

I know this is really for Me, Droid and Chipps, but hey-ho… Read More…

Au Revior to the bucket of bolts

Droid is the one on the left.

 

Taking a moment to wish Droid all the best on his return back to Convictland. Read More…

The Ashes 2013: The Aftermath

Well, 3-0 up and could have been 4 (all credit to Clarke for the declaration).

Not a lot to say about this test. Marred by a piss poor pitch, which the Oval always is (time to look at not giving it a guaranteed test a year if they can’t improve), and a day lost to rain. Australia were garbage in the second innings, but far better than England in the first. It took an incredible last day marked and made by a target declaration from Clarke, before he shat it and rolled on the time wasting (I’m not complaining. England have been hugely guilty of this) and bowled 11 overs an hour punctuated with moaning at the Umpires.

In a way it was fitting that the final act of the series was the umpires making a stupid and spectator alienating decision on the light. Read More…

The Ashes 2013: Chester-le-Street

And then the English “summer” kicked in.

Old Trafford ended up a draw thanks to the rain, which denied Australia a deserved win that would have kept the series alive. Alas, it was not to be, and the Poms have retained the Ashes. But there’s still two tests to go, and the series can be tied up. This doesn’t mean much in the context of this series, but it would be a huge confidence boost to the Aussies in the return series beginning in November.

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The Ashes 2013: Old Trafford

Please god can we have a test without the umpires getting these wrong

And so to Old Trafford.

After the mauling Australia took at Lords, which was genuinely one of the most abject performances that I’ve ever seen from them, I’m feeling strangely confident.

Of course, the curse of the England follower is that even at 2-0 up I am convinced that we’ll find a way to lose the next three.

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The Ashes 2013 Part 2: Lords

And so on to Lords.

The first test was nail biting, but made so by the somewhat shoddy umpiring on display. In the end, England squeaked home with Jimmy Anderson (one of the world’s best bowlers) proving the difference.

The teams for Lords are:

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