Tag Archive | Arnold Vosloo

Jarv’s Birthday Series: Hard Target (1993)

ALRIGHT!!! This is what I’m talking about. Hard Target (release date 20th August 1993 in the USA) was a film I saw on video at the mighty age of 16 and loved unequivocally. I knew nothing about John Woo or various conventions that would become tiresome in his American period (looking at you Face/Off), but this film rocked my little casbah. Man, for a teenager this had almost everything you could ask for: extreme ass-kickery, stupidity by the gallon, ‘splosions, more ass-kickery. All it lacked to my teenage mind was boob. To be fair, after the last few films that I’ve sat through on this list, I was owed this. Owed it big time. Read More…

Jarv’s Schlock Vault: Progeny

I think that baby is normal, but Craig is crazy.

Jarv’s Rating: 2 Changs out of 4. Not what it’s billed as, thankfully.

I have to say that I did approach this effort of Yuzna’s with some trepidation. Space Rape films aren’t really my thing, being more in Wolf’s territory than anything else (Inseminoid, Xtro et al). Furthermore, the later Yuzna films have marked a severe decline in quality from the late 80’s/ early 90’s heyday. Still, 100% completion is something to aspire to, so with a mild sense of trepidation, I put it on. I would like to use this chance to express my absolute gratitude that this isn’t as billed- being more of a psychological thriller than anything else. Albeit one with a touch of tentacle molestation. You know, Yuzna had to throw in something to keep his fanbase happy. Read More…