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The Golden Changs 2012- The winners are…

Even by my blisteringly low standards, I’m miles late on this one, and to be honest, I have absolutely no excuse whatsoever for my blazing incompetence. I could blame technology (in that my new office won’t let me on to the dashboard, and I’ve broken the PC at home) but realistically that won’t wash when I’ve actually managed to plug the laptop in. All I can do is apologise, and get ready to launch the people’s choice for this Year’s Golden Changs (sponsored by anyone that wants to throw cash or free booze at us). The votes are in, the contest is closed, and as such I can now announce the winners.

The tension’s probably killing you all. It’s certainly getting to me, and I’m only making it through this via massive doses of booze. Read More…

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The Golden Changs 2012

Apologies for the delay in this, but due to acts of God and my workplace we’re running an unfortunate bit behind. Still, it’s that time of year when Droid dusts off his party frock and we hand out the prestigious Golden Changs to those films that we deem worthy of mention in the last 12 months. The rules are simple: to be eligible the film has to be between a cut off date of October 7th 2011 to October 8th 2012, and must be nominated by at least one of us.

All awards are thrown open to the public vote, so with no further ado let’s have a look at the good, the bad and the boob filled for the last 12 months.

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The Golden Changs 2012

Obviously, now we’ve passed our third year, and I’ve done the roundup of things we’ve been up to, it’s also time to announce the nomination process for the Golden Changs is open.

This prestigious award carries absolutely no cash prize whatsoever, but is a far more open, honest and, let’s fucking face it, prestigious award than the Oscars.

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Requiem for procrastination: Jarv looks at the last 12 months of Werewolves on the Moon.

Another October has passed and we’re another year older and wiser. Thus it is time for me to trawl through the archives and present some of our efforts that have been hugely entertaining and maybe worthy of another look.

Last year, I did this by month, but I’m not so sure that’s the way forward this time. Basically, the year has been dominated by a number of series, and so instead of me churning out loads and patting myself on the back, I thought I’d just look at a few of the contributions from various good Changians. Some have been fun for all involved, and some of them less enjoyable for one of the brethren (Just Pillow Talk).

So, here we go: Happy Belated Birthday to us….

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The Golden Changs 2011

Well, due to producer intransigence we’re running extremely late this time. We made the mistake of allowing Don “Fat Cunt” Murphy to produce, and next thing we knew we were in protracted contract wranglings. Murphy wanted a production rider consisting of the following:

  • 74 Donuts
  • Three blind Albanian hookers, ideally without a sense of smell
  • An industrial size tub of chocolate ice-cream
  • An inflatable sex doll in the shape of a sheep
  • A crate of Newcastle Brown Ale
  • A gaggle of midgets, assorted race and gender
  • A flunky to follow him around saying “Yes Don, you are the best, and so sexy with it” when required
  • The disabled access to the temple improved to allow for his Rascal
  • 2 Kilos of Peruvian marching powder
  • A goldfish bowl full of M&M’s but no green ones
  • A basket of assorted fruit

And that was just the frigging start of it. Anyway, I wasn’t having this, so told the fat cunt that there was no way I was going to improve the disabled access to Walter’s convenience store to get him and his fucking “mobility aid” in. Not only would this be hugely expensive, but he’d stink out the fresh food section forever. This, needless to say, was not great news for the disgusting gelatinous blob. Faster than you can say “Bo-SHUDDAH” , he went on a frenzied rampage and ate all the catering for the day, the wardrobe department and the monkey butler we use to hand out the awards. Well, that was enough, so I fired the fat cunt, and told him to take Chris Tucker with him. So Droid is producing this year, and I’m on hosting detail again. We did keep the coke, though.

*sniff* So with no further ado, the winner’s are…

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The Golden Changs 2011- The Film Awards. The Nominations are:

Wooooooooo!

Break out the red carpet, dust down your party gear, crack open the booze, and score as many class A’s as you can, because it’s now time for 2011’s annual Golden Changs. This year’s is a bit late, as we had some difficulties with the producer (we wouldn’t let him put pre-0p transexual hookers on expenses) and the host (who quit because he’s best buddies with the producer) although I’m still hopeful we can get Don “Fat cunt” Murphy. Read More…

The CoC Awards: The Site

Get the fuck out of my coke. BAD MONKEY BUTLER PUT THAT DOWN.

What do you mean I’m on again? Where the fuck is Vegas? Oh, shit…

Apologies, hope everyone had a nice intermission, but we’re back with the site Awards, so with no further ado… Read More…

The CoC Cinema Awards

Hallelujah!

After a long and arduous selection process and a completely open transparent voting system, it’s finally time to see who wins the coveted Golden Graboid. I did hire Johnny Vegas (sorry all I could afford) to present these, but unfortunately he’s busy throwing up in the bathroom, so I’ve got to step in. Read More…

The CoC Awards: Part 4- Site Nominations

Well, this one should be easier than the cinema ones.

This time out, it’s the awards for work we’ve done on the site. The reason I think this is a good idea, is that we made it to 1 year old, we’ve lost a few good Changians who will hopefully return, but we’ve done some damned entertaining stuff and I, personally, think it’s worth celebrating.

Same rules as last time- at least two nods to get a nomination. Unless I explain otherwise, or it’s just for the little ones where it is a lot easier to just put the poll up, and they’re self-explanatory.

So with no further ado: Read More…