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Post Millennial Trauma: Stake Land (2011)


Vampires, eh? Has there been a more maligned Horror genre in recent years than the vampire film? Seriously, they either sparkle in sunlight, inexplicably want to bang Anna Paquin and possibly themselves, or are metaphorically grooming small boys for nefarious purposes. In the meantime, a couple of films have come out that have attempted to breathe new life into arguably the most overplayed genre out there. A recent development (probably in an inevitably futile attempt to break the cycle of EMO rape-y douchebaggery), as seen last year in Daybreakers, is a post-apocalyptic twist: the bloodsuckers have won (and I don’t mean bankers) so how will mankind cope with being the food source in a devastated world? This year’s entry in my Post- Millennial Trauma series also follows this line: welcome to Stake Land. Bring your own garlic.

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Post Millennial Trauma: Burning Bright (2010)

I’m nearly up to date with my little journey through the best that the 21st Century has to offer in horror films. I did, I have to say, look at 2010 with some trepidation. Nothing particularly leapt out and made a strong case for inclusion, but there were several very solid films of a similar standard- The Crazies was a pleasant surprise, given that it’s a remake that didn’t suck, and Daybreakers was a good stab at a new iteration of that horror mainstay, Vampires. However, on the basis that Koutch already reviewed Daybreakers, and I haven’t really got a lot to say about it that he didn’t cover, and Xi did a sterling job with The Crazies, I thought I would give this little film that slipped under the radar a write up.  Read More…

Post Millennial Trauma: Pontypool (2009)

This sounds like a strange thing to be writing, but I do believe that this is the first of these Post-2000 horror films that I’ve done that features that mainstay of horror: The Zombie. Zombies are one of the most abused monsters out there- hacks like Snyder and Anderson fundamentally don’t understand what makes zombies effective, and so insist on having them run, climb buildings etc, while arguably the father of the genre, George Romero, also has them doing astonishingly stupid things (using tools) in the name of “social commentary” that’s about as subtle as a brick. Basically, zombies are scary for two reasons: they’re relentless, brainless killing machines solely driven by the need to feed, and that there’s usually a horde of them. One zombie by himself isn’t frightening particularly given that they shamble, are hugely clumsy, and any old mug can get away from them. Even the kind of mug that appears in a Romero film. Nevertheless, the 21st century has produced a couple of first-rate zombie films- just not America. Britain turned out horror comedy Shaun of the Dead, France popped up with The Horde, and Spain produced the magnificent Rec films. However, easily able to stand and be counted with those heavyweights is Canada’s 2009 effort: the unfairly overlooked Pontypool. Read More…

Post Millennial Trauma: Let the Right One In (2008)

I’ve been putting off this series for a while, as I desperately wanted to do something that isn’t called Let the Right One In for 2008, because I wanted to save it for the Vampire series. Unfortunately for me, looking through the thoroughly underwhelming list of 2008 horror films (there are some good ones in there, Splinter for example, but nothing that I really wanted to do) there was one film that stood out- Sweden’s imperious Let the Right One In. Let me preface this with that I don’t want to talk about the remake at all- this is really more me reminiscing back to seeing this one in the cinema, and the reaction that it left me with. I do hate to go all Knowlesian in a review, but there’s nothing really more to be said about this film critically, and so I’m going to attempt to enunciate what I believe made it so damned successful. Read More…

Post Millennial Trauma: The Mist (2007)

Quick confession time: I haven’t read the short story. I binged on Stephen King when I was a teenager, and then just sort of stopped and haven’t really had any urge to go back to them. Nevertheless, I’m assured that this is a cracking read, and regardless of that it has the proud boast of standing in the handful of  Stephen King adaptations that aren’t terrible alongside Stand by Me, Carrie, The Shining and Misery (before anyone says anything, I really don’t like The Green Mile). Read More…

Post Millennial Trauma: Behind the Mask- The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006)

Now I’ve escaped from the more fallow years of the 21st Century, it’s time to look at some of the better horror films of the last decade. To start of this nice easy run in to the present day, I’ve got an absolutely cracking little film, and one that very nearly counts as an undiscovered gem. I give you Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon. Read More…

Post Millennial Trauma: The Roost(2005)

There’s really no way around this and it makes this series a bit redundant, but the best Horror film of 2005 was also one of the best films full stop of the last decade: Neil Marshall’s magnificent The Descent. We’ve covered this so extensively that I cannot be bothered to go over it again. So, if you’re interested in that fantastic film (or at least what we think about it) my Pulitzer worthy review is here, or Droid’s is here Read More…

Post Millennial Trauma: Dumplings (2004)

God damn it, I didn’t want to do this film. I really didn’t. I’ve scoured the internets and read list after list after list of films in 2004 hoping against hope that there was an overlooked horror film in there that I hadn’t seen that could maybe do. However, having read hundreds of these things, I was eventually forced to either concede and do Shaun of the Dead (Frank’s Saw marathon put paid to that one) which is a comedy, or damn it, delve into this film that I saw a while ago and swore blind that I would never watch again. Needless to say, I’ve gone with the latter.

If you are of a nervous disposition and succumb to nausea easily then I suggest that you don’t read on, as I am going to have to put in a pretty strong spoiler. If you are armed with Dramamine or have no qualms then go for it, but consider yourselves warned. Basically, don’t read this at lunch as you’ll go right off it.

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Post Millennial Trauma: A Tale of Two Sisters (2003)

I’ve had to bump this film up the reviewing schedule due to being too lazy to review things at home (and yesterday too drunk) and because my next few reviews are boob filled extravaganzas I can’t get the pictures for them at work. I also can’t think of a suitable boob cover for one of them either. Honestly, it’s ridiculous- if I put the title in to Google it just spits out millions of images of naked chicks, and as such is making me wonder if I didn’t accidentally watch a porn. I’m pretty certain I didn’t as there were a good few killings, but still, there was lesbianage, boob, minky, more boob, unconvincing shagging and more than one porn moustache.

Before I ramble off to badly on a boob filled digression instead here’s the banner carrying horror film from 2003, and there’s nary a jugg to be seen…

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Post Millennial Trauma Part 3: Dog Soldiers (2002)

I do seem to be doing a lot of werewolf movies recently.

I’ve been a while between reviews in this series, and the reason being that I could not for the life of me think of a film for 2002. In the end it came down to a choice between My Little Eye (an interesting and quite gripping take on Big Brother) and this, Neil Marshall’s debut film. To be honest, I don’t really know what I was thinking about, as Dog Soldiers is not only far superior to My Little Eye, but also an exhilarating and barnstorming take on the Werewolf mythos, whereas My Little Eye is a good film, and a severely underrated one, but is never going to be labelled great.

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