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The final part of the GIANT PIG Trilogy: Razorback(1984) stole my Grandson!

The third, and easily the best, of the GIANT PIG films has finally come my way. Often labelled as a Jaws rip-off, not without some justification, Razorback is Australia’s take on the large killer swine. Before I start, though, I have to say that I’m hugely impressed at a lot of the posters that I looked at for this. I went for the German one in the end, because it’s fucking cool, but I could easily have picked one of about 10. They just don’t make posters like this any more. I also love some of the straplines, such as Britain’s “It has two states of being: Dangerous or Dead” and Australia’s fantastic “900 pounds of marauding tusk and muscle.” Couple these brilliant taglines with that fantastic artwork, and goddamnit I almost want to watch the film again. Anyhoo, buckle up, because we’re going to the Outback to deal with the largest and easily the most dangerous GIANT PIG ever committed to Cinema. Unfortunately, we’ve got Russel Mulcahy as a guide, but if we can keep him off the gear for long enough we should be alright. Read More…

The GIANT PIG Trilogy, part 2: Jarv joins the Pig Hunt (2008)

Due to Mrs. Jarv’s quite unjustified hatred of GIANT PIG movies, it’s been a while since I started this trilogy, as I had to manoeuvre her into a mood whereby she’d tolerate me rewatching Pig Hunt on the main TV. You will no doubt be pleased to hear that I made an inordinate sacrifice for your entertainment and as such I have put up with an interminable amount of repressed aristocrats pouting at each other as she’s inflicted the entire fucking series of Brideshead Revisited on me as her price. Let me tell you now, I’m severely cross with myself for this, as there is no way in fuck that this, frankly, fucking awful movie was worth even 2 minutes of Jeremy Irons gazing longingly at Anthony Andrews’ arse while the latter moans about his frigging teddy bear, pretentiously called Aloysius, refusing to talk to him. That, by the way, is not an exaggeration.  Read More…

THE GIANT PIG TRILOGY: Jarv encounters Chaw!

Back in the early days of our little gathering, one of the recurring memes was prompted by the news that South Korea had produced a little film called Chaw, which promised to be stock full of carnage wrought by that rarest of cinematic beasts THE GIANT PIG. Whenever we saw the trailer for this, or news about the film surfaced in any form, all coherent conversation went out the window drowned beneath cries of GIANT PIG! Eventually, the situation arose where one of us (Kloipy) was even posting as GIANT PIG offering out threats of death to all and sundry. As the release neared, conversation turned to that we couldn’t actually think of that many examples of GIANT PIG films out there. At our count, and this is by no means definitive, we have 3: the Australian film Razorback, America’s piss poor Pig Hunt, and this, Chaw, released in 2009.

It’s about time one of us took on GIANT PIG, and I reckon I’m the man for the job because I fear nothing that I roast on a sunday. So, you porky bastard, let’s see how fared.

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