Burt Gummer’s Rec Room- May 2011 Archive

A gathering place for firearms enthusiasts, paranoid survivalists and those who worship at the Church of Chang

It’s May now. I suppose it is too soon to make a Bin Laden joke?

Disclaimer: This is the part of the Church that is the most no holds barred. None of it is intended with malice, and although it can on occasion seem a little bit fraught, it is banter rather than venom.

1,753 responses to “Burt Gummer’s Rec Room- May 2011 Archive”

  1. Jarv says :

    Right.

    I’ve got beer to claim (huzzah)- will see you in a bit.

  2. just pillow talk says :

    In preparation of Frankie’s next ill concieved Jen Adventure…

    http://justjared.buzznet.com/2011/05/19/jennifer-aniston-horrible-bosses-posters/

  3. Droid says :

    First pic of Bane in TDKR if you’re interested…

  4. Continentalop says :

    I’m sad to report Randy “Macho Man” Savage, aka “Bonesaw”, is dead. Car accident.

    He’ll be missed by Slim Jim fans everywhere.

    • just pillow talk says :

      Would have always thought the juice would have gotten him…

    • L Bronco says :

      Fuck Hulk Hogan-Macho man rapped:

      In America, we have heroes. They are wresting entertainers.

      Seal Team 6 is fucking bummed on this day.

      At least on Rapture, Randy macho man Savage will replace St. Peter at the Gates of Heaven.

  5. Continentalop says :

    Speaking of the Rapture LB, here is some helpful tips so everyone can have an enjoyable Saturday, be you saved or damned.

  6. Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

    Starbucks has allegedly launched its new Osama Bin Latte. It’s got a frothy white head with two shots in it…

  7. Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

    As this weekend is a celebration of the coming Rapture, let me show you the trailer for the first ever London film I was Location Manager on. The biblical thriller The Rapture. An Essex take on The Da Vinci Code (but we weren’t allowed to call it that)

    A film that had loads of potential, but was ruined by an alcoholic, tyrannical director, imcompentent producers, and dodgy Essex gangsters as Exec Producers. Suitcases of money came to set each week.

    They of course all fell out with each other, ran out of money, and the film will never see the light of day.

    But a great experience for me. I made the contacts that would eventually set me off in having a film career in London. And I’m still good friends with some of the crew (who were all first timers like me – hence cheap as fuck!).

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      Looks alight there Colonel good location managing always shines through.

      Damn Alison Doody has aged incredibly well. I don’t think I’ve seen her anything besides Indy 3. How did she look without the lighting and war paint?

      Bill Murray’s kid isn’t bad looking either.

      Essex gangsters=Town council?

    • Continentalop says :

      It’s nice to know there is others out there that had to suffer through horrible productions.

      • Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

        I feel your pain, Conti. I saw your post about doing it yourself. Good on ya, man! Id love to be kept in the loop about what your planning.

        We should swap war stories from the undoubted Indie hell we both seem to work in 😀

        Although Ive just landed a job (as assistant loc manager) on a 4 part BBC drama thats filming till August.

        It will be interesting to see how someone as big and reputable as the Beeb work compared to the various nightmares, incompetents, and weirdo’s I’ve worked with over the years lol

        I guess its akin to getting a job at one of the big studios over there, the holy grail in terms of money and professionalism…hopefully.

        Still. Black Dynamite FTW! 😉

      • Continentalop says :

        Yeah, Indie Movie war stories might not be as cool or manly as Xi’s war stories, but I bet you they are way funnier in terms of fucking pathetic-ness.

        In the process of writing my opus, but for now to keep me fresh I’m going to shoot a bunch of scenes and short films with some friends. Shooting something next weekend and the weekend after that. And I’ll be honest, I’m doing these in part to show up the people I was just working with (which shouldn’t be hard).

        Yeah, Black Dynamite might be my proudest moment. While I didn’t have that big of impact on it, I actually did contribute some things to it. The producer, Jon Steingart, complimented me by saying my fingerprints are all over it (at least I think that was a compliment). So I take a lot of pride in that movie.

        The movie I would take the most pride in will sadly never see the light of day thanks to a crazed director, incompetent producer and a exec. producer who ODed on smack.

  8. Jarv says :

    Now that I have Lovefilm back, I’m blundering through the free to watch stuff like a crazed bear in a honey shop. There’s been no rational reason for what I’ve seen today:

    Pontypool
    Ip Man: The Rise of Legend
    Vampire Hookers
    Mulholland Drive

    That’s not exactly a thematically linked selection, but all are good- excellent films. Totally enjoyed the Ip Man prequel.

    Not sure what to watch next. I was thinking about the original Lethal Weapon.

    PS- the Lesbianage in Mulholland Drive is totally overrated.

    • Jarv says :

      I want someone smarter than me to explain what the fuck is going on in the last 40 minutes of MD. As it stands, I do kind of like it, but it seems rehashed Lost Highway-esque, and the finale makes NO FUCKING SENSE AT ALL.

      Grrrrrr. I can’t believe I’ve 100% completed fucking Lynch. What’s wrong with me?

    • LBronco says :

      The last 40 minutes of Mulholland-I’m not smart, but somebody on Twitter finally explained it to me.

      Spoiler Spolier Spoiler

      No really-Spoiler

      The majority of MD takes place in dreams-specifically the dreams of the dead woman found in the apartment at the end.

      That woman is in fact, Naomi Watts, but not the glamorous, good looking one seen throughout almost the entire movie-but the dowdy, depressing bum looking Naomi Watts. That’s what Watts character is in reality, so much of the movie is her wistful thinking and dreaming of a Hollywood fairy tale which is the opposite of her hrash reality-which may include isolation and substance abuse.

      Supposedly, there are obvious cues that show when the dream state is entered.

      I never in a million years could have figured this out, but I was researching Twin Peaks a few weeks back and ran across this guy who explained it-can’t remember if he was on the crew or what…

      That always bugged the hell out of me as well.

  9. MORBIUS says :

    Droid,

    I asked over at WhingeWorld(TM), about Blackbeard and his fiery hair extension, and comic book writer Peter Alan David repled with this . . .

    Because that’s something Blackbeard actually did
    by peter david
    It was something he was noted for, typically done when he wanted to intimidate others. So it makes sense that he would light ’em up upon his first entrance in order to intimidate the mutineers.

    We even see one of Barbossa’s crew in the original film doing the same thing in obvious emulation of Blackbeard.

    And D.Vader said likewise . . .by d.vader
    I thought everyone knew that about Blackbeard. Thats one if the things that made him famous, putting fiery brands in his hair and beard!

    • Jarv says :

      I did not know that, and I usually am good with useless trivia. It’s not exactly common knowledge then, is it? And how hard would it have been to stick in a line from a crewman saying this?

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Jarv,

        Vader is a born and bred North Carolinian so to him Blackbeard is a bread and butter story from the get go, it’s local history and tourism. There are a lot of Blackbeard related museums and places around both North and South Carolina becasue along with the West Indies was where he did most of his raiding.

        If you ever find yourself in NC and have a hankering to see some interesting museums with Blackbeard info try the North Carolina Maritime Museums, there are 3 of them altogether.

      • Jarv says :

        I didn’t know that about Vader. Always assumed he was from LA for some reason. Still, it’s not exactly common knowledge, it would be like me complaining that people didn’t know that the guy from Def Leppard lost his arm in a motorbike accident on the Snake Pass*- if that makes sense. Lazy writing, assuming something like that.

        *everyone knows he lost an arm, but the name of the road is less well known.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        That was sort of my point that I failed to make in any way. To Vader it’s common knowledge since it’s somewhat common around the Carolinas. Outside of the Carolinas not so much.

      • Jarv says :

        Suppose so. Why do they keep doing things like this in silly movies? For those not in the know, it just looks like a weird blunder.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        As a side note NC has a fairly thriving TV and movie industry due to tax breaks and from what I understand the school Vader attended, The University of North Carolina, has a pretty good film school.

      • Jarv says :

        That would make sense. Explains how he ended up in LA.

      • D.Vader says :

        Jarv, I interned out in LA at Ridley Scott’s place but moved back to NC (to make some money to move back to LA). Unfortunately, I’ve still yet to move back to LA.

        Also, this year is ramping up to be a very good year for production in NC. We’ve got a Showtime political action thriller tv series shooting here in Charlotte this summer starring Claire Danes and Damian Lewis.

        Also, The Hunger Games is shooting in and around Charlotte starring Jennifer Lawrence directed by Gary Ross.

        I don’t think I’m going to work on either. With everyone spread thin, I’ll be working all the commercial productions. Also, I plan to spend a lot of money I’ve save and shoot a lot of spec commercials and short films. But I may dayplay in locations for either project. I was asked if I wanted to be a producer’s assistant on the show for a producer/UPM/1st AD/sometimes episode director from “24”, and while I think it’d be a great experience and a great contact to have, I think I’d rather make more money working less and shoot my own stuff.

      • D.Vader says :

        Course, I’m also considering working on The Hunger Games just so I can get close to Jennifer Lawrence and take her out around town.

        I don’t think my gf would approve, though.

      • D.Vader says :

        Bless you, Tom Bando. Bless you.

      • D.Vader says :

        I also gotta say, Xiphos, that I’m extremely impressed with how much of my background you remember. Must be that Marine training!

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Vader I would love to claim credit personally or give it to the Marine Corps but I can’t. I mostly knew about that from Facebook.

    • Tom_Bando says :

      Remember, it’s Noted_Sage D.Vader, the ostensibly BANNED by Harold, Noted_Sage D.Vader. Always important to include the proper titles and criteria. Esp. for a tarheel.

  10. Xiphos0311 says :

    Above you asked why do films do silly things that? Probably out of laziness and not really caring would be my guess.

    • Jarv says :

      It’s just so fucking Slapdash, and in this case could have been so easily fixed. Stuff like this always annoys me- sheer laziness.

      There are loads of them, and it ALWAYS bugs me.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        yeah I agree. Simply corrected things shined on over nothing more then being lazy is frustrating and lessens my enjoyment of a movie. If the creators can’t take the time to get the small simple things correct why should I take the time to care about their product.

      • Continentalop says :

        I haven’t seem Pirates 4, but I don’t think it’s out of laziness. They actual spent effort to research and learn about Blackbeard’s fiery beard. No, I think it is actually lack of talent and intelligence for failing to recognize audiences might not get it.

      • Jarv says :

        Being inept isn’t a lot better. Being stupid is actually worse, as is being untalented AND stupid.

  11. Jarv says :

    I’m starting to compile the Birthday Series to go up one a day until 23rd August. First up is The Driver, which I’ve never even heard of.

    • Continentalop says :

      The Driver by Walter Hill, with Ryan O’Neil & Bruce Dern? If that’s what you’re talking about, you’re in for a treat.

      • Jarv says :

        That’s the one. Never even heard of it. Release date (admittedly French)- August 23rd 1978 (my actual date of birth). If it is good, then I’m off to a flier, because 1979 is Life of Brian.

      • Spud McSpud says :

        Which is a fucking gem of a movie. Stone-cold classic. Actually, I should’ve watched LIFE OF BRIAN yesterday in celebration of the Non-Rapture :/

  12. Jarv says :

    Also, Bride of Re-Animator review published.

    I watched so much garbage yesterday that I’ve got a veritable stack of Schlock reviews ready to go.

  13. Col. Tighfighter says :

    sad news, but one of my favourite actors has died. Bill Hunter the Australian actor died of cancer aged 71. He was phenominonal in films like Muriels Wedding, strictly ballroom, Priscilla queen of the desert. But maybe most memorably in Gallipoli as the conflicted officer. He showed up in Finding Nemo and countless Australian films. Although sometimes in average films, he was never average in them.

    For me, his turn in Muriels Wedding is my favourite. Its a film i unashamedly love, and and he is beligerant, bombastic, and pathetic in equal measures as the failed politician and failed father. A stand out in a film full of standout performances.

    I’m genuinely gutted i won’t see him in anything else. 71 is no fucking age! RIP and good job!

    • Tom_Bando says :

      I googled him and yeah I do remember the guy. He was good and in about everything that had a wobble board in it(JUST FOR YOU DROID) you know?

  14. Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

    Watched Pirates 4. Decidedly meh.

    Watched it in IMAX 3D too. The 3D brought nothing to it. What a waste.

    However the 3D trailer to Kund Fu Panda was awesome, and that one certainly deserves the 3D brig screen treatment.

    I think that 3D only seems to work for animations, or big FX spectaculars. I guess that Pirates 4 just wasnt grand enough.

  15. Droid says :

    Watched Rushmore on the weekend, which was awesome as usual.

    Also watched the last three eps of Supernatural and am not sure where I stand on the matter. It’d all be very spoilery for me to opine but it doesn’t seem to me to be earned (ie. properly developed). Crowley did have a great line, though. “You do realise you’re the bottom in this relationship?”

    Also had a massive sesh on LA Noire on saturday. Very enjoyable game.

  16. just pillow talk says :

    All I watched was The Tourist (awful) and Conan the Barbarian (great).

    Other than that, spent yesterday afternoon helping the brother-in-law and father-in-law transfer some Riesling into gallon bottles (tastes more like a Pinoit Grigio) and moved the Chianti from the oak barrel to some smaller 5 gallon jugs. So I took home 9 gallons of the Riesling and I’ll bring home the Chianti at a later date once it ferments for a bit more. They are both quite delicious.

    • Jarv says :

      Degenerate.

      Check this out for a moochy, film addled weekend:

      Pontypool
      Ip Man prequel
      The Homecoming (laughably bad Mischa Barton does THE BATES in Misery nonsense)
      Night of the Demons
      Mullholland Drive
      3 episodes Supernatural. I’m really going to have to rewatch this series. It’s been so fragmented, but I agree with Droid- it hasn’t earned the stunt they’ve just pulled.
      Gene Generation
      The Recruit (Mrs. Jarv had some kind of brainfart and put it on)
      Huzzah! Lovefilm’s back.

      • Droid says :

        With SN, it’s like they kept changing their minds on where to take the story. They kept taking the story in a different direction every second week (Sams soul/last year, grandfather/hunters, big bad monsters, Eve, Dragons, Crowley, Civil war) and it never really came together properly. Plus it featured some of the worst episodes the show has had, like the Mannequin one. It did feature one of the best episodes as well though, with the Meta ep.

      • Jarv says :

        The last three episodes are actually indicative of what’s been wrong with the series.

        Episode 20 was a good episode, Cas narrating and it did explain a lot of the previous mess.
        Episode 21 was ANOTHER loose end tying up episode with Ben and Lisa, but this was about the third of the series and actually sucked ass badly.
        Episode 22 was a good story episode, but hadn’t earned what it pulled.

        That’s 2 episodes of borderline filler/ loose end typing up and one of story. Where there have been good episodes this season, it’s been the exception not the norm. I’d argue that only 4 (Weekend at Bobby’s), 5 (Twihard), 9 (UFO’s), 15 (Meta) and 20 have been up to standard. The rest of them have been filler, fragmented, rehash, etc.

      • Jarv says :

        And some of them have been some of the worst episodes since the first series. Mannequin, for example. Or the one with Samuel and the other hunter dying.

      • Droid says :

        I didn’t like the voice over episode. Yeah, it helped explain things, but I didn’t like the way they did it. The voice over thing felt lazy.

      • Jarv says :

        20 is a problem episode. It was quite clearly needed to explain what the fuck Cas has been playing at, and set up the last few episodes. It comes straight out of the almighty bollox they made early on in the season with no focus. The thing is, there was a story to be done there with the Alpha monsters and Eve, but instead she’s introduced as a big bad and then killed after about 3 episodes. So it defaults back to the Angel war and Cas. What the fuck is Crowley playing at though?

      • Droid says :

        Okay, and in the last episode with Sam… He turned up at the end and didn’t appear effected. Despite getting all the information/memories.

        I’m trying not to spoil it.

      • Jarv says :

        That, actually, really pissed me off. Particularly after the bit in the dream sequence which said “the other one is much worse”. He clearly fucking wasn’t. Also, and correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t Sam get his memories back earlier in the series.

        Shitty episode all in all- when I say “good” I mean as in it was a “good story arc” episode. It still feels like they’re trying to stuff too much of the plot into a few episodes that should have been spread out over all the filler and loose end tying up gash that they’ve done.

      • Jarv says :

        Finally, the fragmented screening pattern hasn’t helped it. Instead of just one nice run, this is now effectively Series 6 part 3.

      • Droid says :

        Not to heap more shit on it, but it also doesn’t explain how the end worked. All of a sudden he’s “something” because he says he is? There wasn’t any indication leading up to it that it could result in him becoming “something”. And what does that mean? He’s the new “something”? I’m sure it will be explained further next season, but it just seemed like they plucked it out of nowhere. Although next season might see them finally search for God.

      • Jarv says :

        The idea of a power crazed Angel is quite a good one, but they’ve only mentioned in snatches how souls have “power” and value. Looking it up in Wikipedia, the notion was first mentioned in Episode 12 (crap episode).

        Also, why kill Balthazar? And finally, because it’s pissing me off- if you have an episode like 20, explaining Cas’ motivations and that he’s trying to give the Angels free will, then it’s a gross betrayal of the character to have him suddenly demand worship and whatnot two fucking episodes later.

        The more I think of this episode, the less I like it.

      • Droid says :

        SN has had the same problem as Fringe has had. Disjointed. I haven’t seen the last ep of Fringe yet, but I put the problem down to the fact that they didn’t know if they were going to get another season. So the flow of the series was off. Not sure if that was the same with SN.

      • Jarv says :

        Also, looking at it in Wikipedia- it’s got effectively a load of mini-story arcs. There’s no overriding story- instead effectively 6 small ones. The fact that none of them have been up to scratch is just making it worse.

      • Droid says :

        I guess being vague for spoilers is out the window then. Okay, why not make Crowley the new god? That at least would’ve made sense and stayed within character. Then the next season could’ve been the search for god and ended with the showdown or whatever. And then the show can finish because it’s starting to wear thin.

      • Jarv says :

        There was no need for the “new” God- why not make Crowley the new Lucifer? This series would have worked with them attempting to stop him opening Purgatory and ultimately failing while Cas is fighting the war in heaven- which he wins. Therefore, Season 7= search for God to deal with Crowley who has become ludicrously powerful and demented.

      • Droid says :

        Yeah. that’s what I meant in terms of Crowley. Just make him the mega powerful bad guy and next season search for god + showdown + peace on earth = Order restored and fitting finale.

      • Jarv says :

        This has been a right bollocks this season. Just the good episodes have been spread far enough apart to keep me going- and now I’m into the rundown, so, pah, I’ll finish it. If it doesn’t conclude on a right humdinger though this series will not go down well in memory.

      • Jarv says :

        It was always going to be hard to follow the last two series, but, pah…

      • Jarv says :

        Wait- this is what’s been wrong with it- Sera Gamble took over showrunning and…

        On this, Gamble noted, “…part of the thing is finding a balance between [showing] a poster from the actual show and having Sam and Dean really speak their minds. We don’t want to offend.” A fan of the Twilight series, she also commented, “I’m certainly not coming at this from a place of feeling superior to them. I have great respect.”[36]

      • Droid says :

        What do you mean? This seasons finished.

      • Jarv says :

        The thing I was reading said there were 24 episodes. In that case, then that’s a terrible ending.

      • Jarv says :

        Fuck me.Wikipedia has it as only 22. I cannot believe that’s the last episode. That was really, really unearned.

      • Droid says :

        I don’t know… We’ve also sent you Peter Andre and Danni Minogue. You guys can’t get enough of our exports!

    • Droid says :

      I picture a special needs child sitting on the porch playing the banjo while this transfer takes place.

      • just pillow talk says :

        No need to project your childhood memories into this.

      • Jarv says :

        They don’t have banjos in Australia. They have Digeridoos (A long pipe that you blow into) and Wobble boards.

      • Droid says :

        Nope. We rid Australia of the last wobble board when we successfully deported Rolf Harris into the welcoming arms of the Brits.

        Our methods to rid Australia of the didgeridoo however, have been less successful and a tad controversial.

      • Jarv says :

        God damn it. Gutted.

        I went to find a picture of an Aussie playing the wobble board and the first 3000 results were bloody rolf. Any chance you can take him back?

      • Droid says :

        Not. A. Chance.

        You guys shouldn’t have embraced him in the first place.

      • Jarv says :

        He fooled us by being comical. We thought he’d just stay for a while, we could laugh at him and therefore Aussies in general and then fuck off back to the big prison down under.

        Sadly, the bastard has the sticking power of industrial strength superglue.

      • Droid says :

        The jokes on you now isn’t it?

      • Jarv says :

        You just wait. I’m going to find someone equally dreadful (aside from your current PM) that we’ve sent your way. There must be someone.

  17. Jarv says :

    Anyone seen Koutch recently? He can’t be working.

  18. Jarv says :

    HUZZAH!!!

    Finished my budget for the next 12 months. Just got to submit it to my manager then head office.

    I’m going to have to explain myself though, as it’s complete and utter bullshit- I’ve just made numbers up and stuffed them in the various months, because Head Office’s stupid template that I have to use doesn’t reflect what we do or how we work or even how the school is organised.

    Wankers.

    Not to mention that it’s a pathetic amount- £28K. That’s absolute horseshit for my area- when a poxy ad in the local paper costs nearly £800, and a reprint of our main material costs THREE FUCKING GRAND each. So before I’ve even got to my bit of the budget I’ve waxed 15K on stuff I have to spend. You can’t do fuck all with marketing for 13K.

    • LBronco says :

      Well-you can always invest in one of those signs you wear around your shoulders and hang about on the street haranguing passing motorists. Seems to be a lot of that going on in America these days…

  19. koutchboom says :

    I wonder if this is what happened when I saw Thor 2D?

    http://www.boston.com/ae/movies/articles/2011/05/22/misuse_of_3_d_digital_lens_leaves_2_d_movies_in_the_dark/?page=1

    Because I didn’t want to see it in 3D, then it just got to the point where ehhh maybe I won’t see it. THEN they posted that they were showing Thor 2D on the giant screen of my theater, thats where they had been showing the 3D version of it. So I saw it and did think that the movie was a little dull looking, and thinking hrmmm I guess even in 2D this movie has lighting issues.

    Sort of sucks though if my theater did it, because its a world class theater not some giant chain theater. Maybe this is the first time they did 2D screening in the middle of an already set up 3D run. NOW i’m also wondering if I can complain and get some free tickets.

  20. koutchboom says :

    Hopefully Jarv and Droid can still fit into their Batman and Robin nipple plated uniforms!

  21. Continentalop says :

    Couple of quick things:

    As of last night I am 100% Preston Sturges (finally saw Christmas in July).

    And this weekend I am shooting another short film. And I admit freely it is to show up the people who “fired” me during the last movie (I sent them a nice email and they still haven’t gotten back to me or even tell me they let me go).

    • D.Vader says :

      Awwwwwwwwesooooooome!

      So… wait a sec, they really “fired” you? I’ve been absent over at the PB bc of work and didn’t hear the end of this story, if you told it.

      Bitches.

      Anyway, are you just DPing this new one?

      • Continentalop says :

        I still wouldn’t call them “bitches.” They were very good friends before the shoot, but very inexperienced and delusional. I still like them as people but I could never work with them again and I don’t think we could ever really be friends again. I should have listened to my gut instinct and not worked with them, or quit after the first day (and since I was smitten with the director, I knew things could be doubly bad).

        But I am shooting my own short. Wrote and directing it, not being the DoP (got a friend handling camera for me, and another handling lighting). Actually, I’m doing a series of shorts and scenes (shooting one each weekend for the next weekend). Trying to get ready for my big shoot.

      • Continentalop says :

        By the way Vades, have you shot anything lately? I really liked your short thriller about the guy who is reading fortune cookies.

      • D.Vader says :

        Awesome, I can’t wait to see them. I really did enjoy your short (we haven’t really talked about it yet). Are you shooting a series of scenes from your feature script hoping to show what you’re capable of and secure financing, is that it? Good luck!

        As for me, I’ve been planning on shooting some short the past 5 months but work has gotten in the way. I shouldn’t complain as it just means more money for me to spend on shorts later, but its been annoying to plan for a short and have everything pushed aside for a paycheck.

        That said, I’ve been planning a new short for a small competition here in town. But again, work got in the way. I was going to have someone else DP the thing for once so I could just focus on the directing, but now bc of my out-of-town work schedule and bc the actors’ schedules all vary, I’m going to have to shoot it myself too, and at different times. These actors after school this day, this actor this morning, etc, and then piece it together and hope it looks ok.

        Its a shitty way to do it, but I’m doing it for the actors who signed up for this competition (the filmmakers had to draw names out of a hat to ensure we work with new talent), and I don’t want to let them down.

        The good news, though, is that I look at this as a warmup exercise. I like the story so much that I’ll shoot this as a test and then come back to it later with a real DP, real actors, and actual lighting.

      • Continentalop says :

        Glad to hear you enjoyed it Vades. I still think it could be better, but I put it down as practice.

        And yeah, scheduling is what kills you when making these low-budget shorts. Trying to get everyone on the same page is almost nigh impossible.

        I will say while I respect actors, I tell them they are my least concern. Finding good actors who will work for free on a short is easy as pie, this town is full of unemployed actors who want to be in something; finding skilled technicians, like DoPs, makeup artist, sound recorders and gaffers who are available and will work for free is almost impossible. Crewmen’s schedule for a low-budget shoot take precedent over actor’s schedules IMO.

      • Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

        Both of you, get your ass to London. Then I’ll swing some super cool locations for you 😉

        You know, its fate that we should have a Professionals film someday lol

        I going to attempt Producing this year. I’ve got a short lined up (apparently with Julian Glover attached), and a feature. A kids film about Vampires that a writer I know has done.

        I’m confident I could Line Produce it now. But I have no bloody idea about raising finance. Thats the next thing to learn!

      • Continentalop says :

        Fuck Tigh, I already have the project for us: Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll.

        It is a vignette of three stories taking place in three locations: Los Angeles, North Carolina and London, and each one deals with a different subject: “Sex” is in Los Angeles, involving a porno actress in the biz; “Drugs” is in North Carolina involving Meth; and “Rock and Roll” deals with an aging Rock star in London.

        Cheesy, yes. But fuck, critics will love it, and imagine how fun the research will be?

      • Jarv says :

        Huzzzah!!!!

        I’ve even got the location and personnel for you- Robert Plant drinks in one of my local boozers.

      • Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

        I like the sound of that, Conti!

        I’m sure we could work a script around Jarv new drinking buddy too. lol

        I get rock stars, you get hookers, and Vadar has to hang around Meth dens lol. Hope you got your Hep C boosters mate! 😉

      • Jarv says :

        Hehehehe

        Actually, he’s a bit of a cock when he comes in the boozer. Unsurprising. Really, though, if you’re doing aging rocker then you have to use Camden.

  22. kloipy says :

    Muppets Trailer!!!!

  23. koutchboom says :

    Been using this everywhere but its true.

    Bridesmaids is a less gay Paul Rudd movie.

  24. Lbronco says :

    So,

    the monkey is on holiday-the rotting bastard.

    Moving on,

    What works for me is playing the soundtrack to platoon over “my best friends wedding”

    Here’s the soundtrack-it never fails-billy Joel.

    I’m right out of beer, and people have said that I may not drunk drive.

  25. Droid says :

    Morning. Nothing to report. Played LA Noire again last night. Nothing else to report.

  26. Droid says :

    There’s someone over at ginger fats place with the name “has_snyder_been_fired_from_superman_yet”.

    • Spud McSpud says :

      Just been stirring up some shit on the “Is Cumberbatch in THE HOBBIT?” thread over at gingertown. Apparently Benedict Cumberbatch should be in EVERYTHING. Which is patently rubbish, since all he plays is a brittle, effete upper-class English snob that sneers and condescends at everyone he meets – in EVERY FUCKING ROLE HE PLAYS. God, it’s fucking boring. It’s nearly as bad as Idris “barely contained violence to make the Daily Mail readers shiver” Elba and his “you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry” shtick in EVERY FUCKING ROLE HE PLAYS.

      What the FUCK happened to people who could ACT? Y’know, different roles and shit? GAAAAAHH!!!

      http://www.aintitcool.com/node/49745

      • Droid says :

        I’ve only seen him in Sherlock, which he was good in.

      • Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

        I think he rocks in Sherlock, but I also think the program is the mutz nutz. As you know I am a bit sad, so it shouldnt surprise you that I have the Sherlock theme as my phone ringtone now hehe

        He was very good in that play about the Cambridge spys, and was also the Prime Minister in that film about William wilberforce (the abolitionist).

        I would call foul on your assessment, but in both cases they were posh, English snobs! lol

        I also want to see him in the Danny Boyle Frankenstein play as well.

      • Droid says :

        I liked Sherlock quite a bit, but I reckon they ballsed up Moriarty. He sounded like frickin’ Judge Doom at the end of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? for crying out loud.

      • Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

        I rather like the take on Moriarty. The actor played him so well. Suave, fey, intelligent, and batshit insane. He looked really unhinged behind the eyes.

        definately a different take on him though. I know some people think he should have been older and more imposing, but if Sherlock is late 20’s/early 30’s. Then Moriarty should be too.

        A quick nosey around the various forums show the casting has totally split people. But I like the slightly camp, maniac Moriarty.

  27. just pillow talk says :

    Morning. Nothing to report. Played Quantum of Solace again last night. Snipers were making mince meat of me. Nothing else to report.

  28. Droid says :

    Jarv, HMV has Bioshock 2 for £7 if you’re interested.

  29. Jarv says :

    Carrying on my catastrophically shit 2011, my grandmother died this morning.

    So at some point, I’m off to Scotland for a while.

    This is now 3 members of my family in 3 months. Unbelievable, I’m actually running out of close relatives.

    • Droid says :

      Damn! Sorry to hear that, mate. Your family’s having a really bad run of it. Was she the wife of your grandfather that passed away recently?

      • Jarv says :

        No. She’s still going.

        It was my mother’s mother.

        Fucking pig sick of this. Since June last year check out this list of woe:

        I was restructured/ laid off
        Marina Laid off
        Swine Flu
        Probation Extended
        Death number 1
        Death number 2
        Death number 3

        That’s one shitty fucking event more than every 2 months.

      • Jarv says :

        Also, hilariously, my moron uncle and his fat chav wife (and she’s really fat- like American fat) are kicking up shit. My mother threatened to beat the fuck out of her yesterday. My mother is really mild mannered as well, so she must have been fucking horrific.

      • Droid says :

        What are they kicking up a stink about?

      • Jarv says :

        The house and contents are being sold in probate and split between them, and he’s trying to get in to take stuff before it goes to Auction. He’s got NO FUCKING RIGHT at all to be doing it.

        He’s an utter, utter cunt.

      • Droid says :

        Ugh. Profiteering bollocks. Deserve a kicking, they do.

      • Jarv says :

        Despicable fat cunts the pair of them. My Grandfather (who died a few years ago) basically set them up with their own boozer, paid off the overdraft etc, but they’ve been so fat and lazy that it’s about to go to the wall.

        My grandmother wasn’t having any of it.

      • Spud McSpud says :

        Fucking hell, Jarv. So sorry to hear about this – and so soon after your mother-in-law. I feel for you regarding this moron uncle bollocks – my bro-in-law has had the same problem with his uncle when his granddad died last year. No fucking respect whatsoever.

        We’re keeping you in our thoughts. That’s one epically shitty year you’ve had – here’s hoping it changes for the better sometime soon…

      • Jarv says :

        Cheers spud.

        Still, though, that’s all the ones “at risk” passed- so it should stabilise. Pig sick of it and pig sick of infighting.

    • just pillow talk says :

      Man, that’s awful news, sorry to hear that Jarv.
      Unfortunatley, it always seems to happen like that.

      I certainly hope you’ve gotten through the shitstorm now.

    • Droid says :

      When are you heading up to Scotland? This ash cloud shit might prove to be a pain in the ass.

      • Jarv says :

        Dunno. Depends when the funeral is and how much time I can get off.

        The Ash cloud makes no odds, because we’ll get the train.

      • Droid says :

        Fair enough. Only issue with that is that the train will be busier if the flights remain cancelled. Not that I’m trying to be negative or anything. Just a thought.

      • Jarv says :

        Luckily we won’t be travelling in peak hours- because we’ll take the time off. It takes Door-to-Door about 6 hours to fly and about 4-ish on the train. This is all because you’ve got to be there 2 hours fucking early at the airport, whereas you can just pitch up at the station.

    • TomBodet says :

      That’s harsh Jarv, lousy terrible year and them some. I wish you some better luck down the road. Condolences.

  30. Lbronco says :

    Sincere condolences, Mr. Jarv.

    While I was attempting engineering school-which is a bastard-we lost the 2 remaining relatives grandmother and uncle that were at risk. The drunk uncle’s body wasn’t found for 5 days. I thought-how bad could it be-couldn’t take it for more than 10 seconds-it was gruesome. I inherited his neat gaming PC machine, but that meant transporting it for hours in his car. The machine was in the same room he died in. I took a month of cleaning to get the machine to stop oozing the literal stench of putrescence.

    grandmother was in hospice, but we fucked that up, as well and din’t sign a DNR-so they *had* to ICU her for 3 goddamned days, where they treated her like shit.

    We finally got her back into hospice and cleaned up-and she died peacefully in her sleep, but we sure messed even that up.

    My sister finally got angry with me for always calling with bad news-but I’m like, the Grim Reaper doesn’t give a fuck about your schedule, you odious cunt.

    and then we fought like wildcats over these bleeding sports car…lovely stuff.

    The last year or 2 have finally been quiet-because they are all finally dead-as horrible as that is.

    anyway, hope you feel better, and i hope the train ride at least is pleasant.

    • Jarv says :

      Cheers Bronco. It’ll be alright- although we’re gearing up for full clan war. So far this morning, I’ve already threatened to beat my morbidly obese uncle into a coma if he doesn’t stop being a complete twat and my fat sister (who is starting to grow on me again) threatened to “creatively damage” his wife. This is going to be a rough one.

      This, though:

      but I’m like, the Grim Reaper doesn’t give a fuck about your schedule, you odious cunt.

      Is practically the exact phrase I said to one of the people I work with yesterday.

  31. Lbronco says :

    Conti-same deal on my end “inexperienced and delusional”

    So, I’m going to have to direct my first short-It’s a existential horror script that’s been bugging me-because it’s an actual true story-it happened to me personally.

    But I realized it’s a perfect zero budget script.

    I personally am not quite knowledgeable in my opinion to be a director yet, but I found a great local DP, so I’ll have to lean on him quite a bit.

    But he said-if *you* write it, I’ll help.

    Gonna do an Indiegogo campaign for to raise 500 bucks-mostly to get a slider for a Canon T2i.

    What really sucks, is the short I was volunteering to produce on was essential to creating a modern resume piece-so it really hurts that it fell through.

    anyway, had a great weekend-I hosted director Lucas McNelly at home as he is travelling the US doing his project A Year WithOut Rent. Was great because he was actually smarter and more knowledable in person than on twitter-and a couteous house guest to boot.

    I mention this because he is know in San fran, but at some point he will surely end up in LA.

    He volunteers labor on Indie projects if you can find him a plce or set to stay at.

    He would be a great technical floater-he can do whatever the director needs, and he is mellow and professional.

    So, if you want some publicity and some quick help contact me however w/ an e-mail and I’ll get you his-he’s already been on 3 or 4 indie sets in the last 3 months.

    He’s had troubles though with indie productions cancelling out at last minute being flaky.

    That goes for any of you LA guys who are shooting stuff-just let me know. lucas has never been on the west coast, so the big towns are all new to him.

    • Continentalop says :

      Thanks LB. I’ll keep that in mind.

      And good luck with the short. If you have an experienced DoP and do your homework/preparations before hand, all will be good. There was a reason Orson Welles worked with Greg Toland for his first movie, Citizen Kane.

  32. Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

    I finished the first season of The Borgias. It was excellent.

    It had some fantastic production values, and the final episodes as the King of France and his army sweep through Italy was excellent. The canons with chains cutting the Papal troops into little bits was exceedingly well done (and brutal), and the actor playing the King was very good.

    In fact, all the actors have been great. Some quality Ham from the Mr Irons. And the young actors handled the ye-oldie dialogue excellent making it sound just right.

    Loads of political shehanigans, Machiavelli was a devious as I always though. But the ultimate scheming cunt himself was the Pope. Lovely touch making the all the Cardinals wear sackcloth and ashes as penance for leaving him when the French approached.

    Watch it. Then Jarv will have another Cunt for his cunt list, next time he does it. 🙂

    Bring on Season 2.

  33. Xiphos0311 says :

    Jarv,

    Condolences on the loss of your grandmother.

    If you are gearing up for a clan war remember to pack your Lochaber Axe, claidheamohmor and of course the much feared Sghain dubh.

    Here be some music to get the blood of a highlander a boiling and a spoilin fer a fight, aye.

    • Jarv says :

      Thanks Xi,

      My mother has been on the phone all morning- the family is splitting into factions (unsurprisingly) as she was a bit of a matriarch. So far, there’s my mother’s side which features a shit load of her cousins and whatnot, and then my uncle’s side which features about 30% of them. As soon as the booze starts flowing the skeletons will all fall out of the closet and it’s going to be severely unpleasant. I smacked my mother’s Godson at the last one of these funerals because he was being a cunt.

      • Droid says :

        As soon as the booze starts flowing the skeletons will all fall out of the closet

        Being as they’re Scottish, I’m guessing this will happen by… breakfast?

      • Jarv says :

        No, we’ll wait until after she’s buried. You’ve got to do these things properly.

        Admittedly, the funeral will be at about 10am.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Jarv,
        Good to read that even though you were reared in the land of the cold bred sassenachs the fire and fighting spirit of the highlands is still there.

      • Jarv says :

        Yup.

        The ability to complain solidly, drink myself insensible and punch family members runs strongly in my blood. I think this one’s brewing up to quite a head.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        I have been waiting over a decade work the word sassenach into a conversation anywhere. I did some training with The Royal Marines/UK Army and got to be friends with a Highlander. He always referred to the English as Sassenachs(or poofs). It took me like two weeks to even understand what he was saying an another week to figure out what it meant.

      • Jarv says :

        Sassenach just means someone from south of the border or Lowland (which is basically anywhere south of St. Andrews). Usually accompanied by either “poof” or “cunt” depending. The Welsh have a word that’s similar, but they’re too busy shagging sheep and infighting between the Gog’s and the Taffs (I think that’s north v South).

        The thing about Scotland is that each individual region hates each other- so for example, you’ll hear people from Edinburgh called Glasweigens “Soap Dodging Weegie cunts” and both will reserve nothing but contempt for the “sheep shagging teutcher inbreds” from Aberdeen.

        Aberdeen= shttiest place in the UK. What it is is basically a provincial fishing port that got astronomically lucky. Now it’s the most expensive place in the UK, is full of fucking horrific looking people, the whole fucking place is built out of concrete, and it rains solidly. Nobody ever cracks a smile and they all resent everyone else in Scotland.

        Dundee and Perth are also fairly fucking horrible places. Particularly Dundee. I think Stirling is the suicide capital of the UK, and the less said about places like Kirkcaldy and Glenrothes the better.

        Scotland, once you get away from the cities that aren’t called Glasgow and Edinburgh is a fucking stunning place. Gorgeous scenery etc, but mother of god does it rain a lot. I quite like Scotland,.actually, but there’s no doubting that if there’s a choice between living in Lanarkshire or emptying out a quarry with a spoon then the answer is bring on the silverware.

      • Droid says :

        Been to Edinburgh a couple of times. I quite liked it. Apart from that, Scotland doesn’t really interest me. I’d prefer to sit on a beach during summer than carry around an umbrella.

      • Jarv says :

        Glasgow is great as is Edinburgh.

        If you like Golf, St. Andrews and Gleneagles are essential. Other than that, there’s a lot of beautiful scenery and great whiskey. It does, however, piss it down a lot. There’s no denying this.

      • Droid says :

        Admittedly, I do like whisky. I don’t mind an occasional round of golf, but those are few and far between (I haven’t played for nearly 10 years!). I terms of scenery, I come from Australia and my family’s from New Zealand. Scotland doesn’t really have much to offer me that I’m not already familiar with. And it’s fucking grey. My holiday opportunities are limited. I’d much rather go somewhere alien, or somewhere where I can relax, sit on a beach and drink a lovely chilled beer. Man, I need a holiday.

      • Jarv says :

        Oh, I agree. Hence why I always go to spain.

        Fucking hate golf.

      • Droid says :

        I used to play at the local golf course with my mates. It was a public golf course, cost about ten bucks, we would take some beers and meander around drinking beers in the sun. It was pretty fun actually.

        You can’t do it over here. It’s fucking ridiculous how expensive a round of golf is.

      • Jarv says :

        Ah-ha! factual correction for you: The Royal and Ancient is actually public land. You go in a ballot for your tee time and it’s peanuts to play.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Next time I get to the UK, who the hell knows when that will be, I want to check out the Northern part of England and Scotland. Most of my time in England has been in the south west and the farthest north I’ve been is Brize Norton.

      • Jarv says :

        Basically, provided you avoid Leeds- Watford then everything North of Leeds is interesting and has nice scenery (for the most part).

      • Droid says :

        Where’s The Royal and Ancient?

      • Jarv says :

        St. Andrews. There are shit loads of courses there under the “Royal and Ancient” banner. When people say “St. Andrews” they really mean “The Old Course”. But there’s the New, Jubilee, and Eden that also are part of the same thing.

        But it isn’t alone- there are quite a lot of courses like that, just none near London.

        I think Carnoustie is as well. Gleneagles is definitely not.

      • Jarv says :

        Off to the pub to read my book in the sun. See you in an hour.

      • Droid says :

        I don’t like golf enough to travel too far to play it.

      • Jarv says :

        Golf= Good walk ruined.

        Basically, people say dogs are stupid for fetching sticks, but Golf is the same thing: you twat your ball into the middle distance then shamble after it. When you reach it, what do you do? Twat it off again.

        Golf only exists so that fat white people can think they’re good at a sport and better than those Ghastly coloured people. But Tiger Woods ruined that for tham.

      • Droid says :

        All sports are fundamentally stupid when you simplify them.

        Rugby = Thugs trying to carry a ball over a line.
        Soccer = Homosexuals trying to kick a ball over a line.
        Basketball = Black guys trying to put a ball through a hoop.
        American Football = Thin guys trying to put a ball over a line while fat guys wrestle.
        Aussie Rules = Idiots trying to kick a ball through two poles. Not to mention trying to bounce an oval ball while running.

        And so on.

      • Jarv says :

        Apart from Cricket, natch.

        Golf is particularly bad, though. I’m not convinced it’s an actual sport. More of a hobby for fat middle class people. Like Darts or snooker.

      • Droid says :

        And Vijay Singh pioneered the “coloured folks” in Golf. Tiger just confirmed it.

        The only major organised sport white people have for their own is Ice Hockey.

      • just pillow talk says :

        Correction, hockey is for CANADIANS.

        There a bit different from white people.

      • Jarv says :

        Don’t loads of Americans play it? Not like Rounders, obviously (hehehehehe), but I’m sure that in Boston and places there’s a healthy amount of players.

      • Droid says :

        I can’t believe how apeshit you English go for darts and snooker. They’re fucking pub games for fucks sake. It’d be like the yanks televising the foosball or air hockey championships. It’s bad enough they televise unhealthy looking blokes sitting around playing poker.

      • Jarv says :

        No we don’t. I detest both on TV and think they’re genuinely not sports.

        It’s because the BBC has to show minority sport, and because they’ve fucked it up and lost everything apart from the World Cup, 6N and Olympics they have to fill their schedule with shite like darts. They also put on Bowls.

      • Droid says :

        I stand corrected. I made a huge generalisation because I know next to nothing about ice hockey. All my knowledge of ice hockey comes from watching movies like Miracle and that one with Russell Crowe. All those guys were white.

      • Jarv says :

        I knew of a few Latinos. But I have to say I was surprised at the amount of non-white players.

      • just pillow talk says :

        Heh, we do televise pool as well, which is a bar sport.

        Never understood watching people playing poker. They should combine that with say riding a bull.

        That would make it a bit more interesting.

      • Jarv says :

        Naked female poker. That’s the answer.

        Lesbians as well. Maybe with a few midgets dealing the cards.

      • just pillow talk says :

        Yeah, there are a decent amount of Americans who play it, midwest, northeast being the most prominent of course.

        But in terms of viewership, not so much.

      • Droid says :

        There really should be more Womens Beach Volleyball on tv.

      • just pillow talk says :

        Correction, naked SMOKING HOT female poker: hot lesbians welcome and encouraged to enter.

        I like the idea of midget dealers. Midget announcers.

      • just pillow talk says :

        That’s where ESPN has fucked up.

        They used to show shit like women’s beach volleyball, etc, but now they show movies and other worthless shit instead of scantily clad women jumping up and down next to a net.

      • Droid says :

        So the consensus of the brains trust today has been…

        1. No sports left for white guys.

        2. Golf, snooker and darts = bad

        3. Womens Beach Volleyball and hot lesbian strip poker = good

        4. Midgets continue to be underutilised in general.

      • Jarv says :

        That’s about it.

        I think we’ve made real progress today. We should start on the plans for world domination soon.

        Too windy to sit outside today.

      • just pillow talk says :

        We’re like way more efficient than the UN.

        Come to think of it, all UN reps should be midgets.

      • Jarv says :

        Or hot lesbos.

  34. just pillow talk says :

    Eh, fuck golf.

    Now then, I just watched Ninja with Mr. Scott Adkins from Undisputed sequels “fame”, and boy, did this one blow. First off, he played the apprehensive white boy ninja instead of playing to his strength of being a hard ass fighter who beats the fuck out of people. He did not snap enough necks in this one, at least for over half the movie. It was funny to see him throw a bad guy through a window of a moving subway train into another oncoming one.

    The whole premise: protect a chest full of ninja weapons from another ninja who was cast out of the ninja university of higher kicking and jumping. What do they do? Send it off to New York to Triborough University to keep it “safe” from evil ninja. Alas, the evil ninja does some side assissination work for these EVIL organization who wants to control oil or some other silly nonsense like that. The evil ninja gets the EVIL organization to try and get the chest. They fail, and it’s up to evil ninja to try and get the chest back.

    Yup, it’s not good.

    I then started watching The Food of the Gods, which is yet another awful one, but a bit amusing with the giant rats eating a Mr. Skinner from his car. Haven’t finished this brilliant adaption yet.

  35. just pillow talk says :

    Damn, seems like I’ve been here for four hours already, and it’s only a little more than a hour.

    AND it’s finally fucking sunny today after 2 weeks of shit weather.

    Fucking work.

  36. Droid says :

    Really can’t be fucked today. I’ve got so much fucking work to do and absolutely zero fucking motivation to do it. I need to receive confirmation that the visa has gone through so I can find a new job.

    • Jarv says :

      Well, Burning Bright review published.

      That should give you something to do.

      • Droid says :

        Finding something to do isn’t the problem. I’ve got more than enough. It’s the simple fact that I have no interest in doing it.

      • Jarv says :

        Alright, then- that should give you something to help you skive.

        Oh, and that’s me up to date (sort of) on that series. 2011, haven’t got a clue and can’t really judge as 2011 still has a while to go.

        Huzzah for me.

  37. Droid says :

    Hangover 2 is getting poor reviews. Surprise, surprise.

    • just pillow talk says :

      I was soooo looking forward to the sequel too!!!!!!!!

      Or not.

      • Jarv says :

        I quite liked the first one and was willing to give it a chance.

      • just pillow talk says :

        Jarv, I thought the first Hangover was okay, but certainly not warranting a sequel.

        There is no such thing as a great comedy anymore. They are the rarest of movies I think, to begin with.

        I mean, think about it. Everyone has their favorites, but it’s a smaller collection of films than say dramas, war movies, crime, etc.

        Great comedy is hard to do.

        For me, Animal House, Caddy Shack, Holy Grail, Army of Darkness are the stuff I will find hilarious no matter how many times I have/will see them. They simply have the staying power with me. But the shit that comes out now, I just have no interest in revisiting again.

      • Jarv says :

        Dorks in the UK have completely ruined Holy Grail- and I think Life of Brian is funnier anyway:

        “How shall we fuck off, O Lord?”

      • Droid says :

        Comedy’s been pretty bad for a long time. Bad Santa and Best in Show are the two most “recent” that I consider amongst my favourites. Before that I’d probably have to go back to Bowfinger.

        Mediocre is now considered “classic”.

      • Jarv says :

        Shaun of the Dead?

      • Droid says :

        I did think of that. I really like that movie, but I wouldn’t put it up there with my all time favourites.

    • koutchboom says :

      You can’t trust critic reviews of comedies. I bet its much better than Bridesmaids which is one of the best reviewed comedies in a while. People just seemed pissed that its pretty much the same film, I’m cool with that though. Due Date also got shit on by reviews and it was pretty funny. Funnier than Bridesmaids anyway.

      I mean peoples/critics expectations are going to be high with Hangover 2, when they really shouldn’t. I mean people are complaining that its a CASH IN sequel…..well then they are absolutely correct because the only reason there is a fucking sequel was because of all the money it made, otherwise there wouldn’t be a sequel. Can’t really blame Todd Phillips for being Todd Phillips and being lazy, because he pretty much always is.

      In an interview he said that once they were told to do a sequel he had to decide if they wanted to do the same thing or something different, and he decided that they hadn’t made the characters deep enough to do anything else but the same thing all over again.

      • Jarv says :

        He’s right. They aren’t so much characters as single notes

      • Droid says :

        Due Date was complete shit. Haven’t seen Bridesmaids.

        No interest in a lazy retread of an overrated movie.

      • koutchboom says :

        Ever since I left college its hard for a comedy to be over rated, unless its something like Bridesmaids where all movie critics are blowing it beging you to see it. I mean since pretty much all movie people on the internet are above comedies except for old ones I never really hear shit about it. With Hangover 1, I didn’t see it till the 3rd-4th week it was out, I thought it looked dumb in the trailer and that the trailer gave away all the best bits. But my wife had heard good things from some friends and we decided to see it and both thought it was funny as hell. I’d say Hangover 1 is as good as its reputation.

        Its just funny how only 2 weeks ago critics were willing to forgive repitition in favor of a positive review in Bridesmaids, and this was repitition with in the same film not some film thats 2 years old, all because it was females doing the Paul Rudd schtick this time around. If anything alot of these critics that like to act above stuff like The Hangover, shows how well the original stuck with them if they are easily able to recall how repiticious it is. These reviews just reek of critical douchness.

        Now I’m not saying Due Date was any great shakes, but it had its moments, and again Todd Phillips proves he knows how to film an actual movie, unlike Apatow and his gang of bland crappy looking movies.

      • Jarv says :

        Overrated comedies?

        Napoleon Dynamite, Anything by Apatow, and…

        Juno, Little Miss Sunshine.

        There’s fucking loads of them.

      • Droid says :

        The first Hangover got astonishingly good reviews, and it got talked up for six months before I finally saw it on dvd. I was looking forward to watching what was reportedly a hilarious comedy. “Instant classic” is a term I heard used more than once. I watched it and was amazed. It was severely underwhelming. A couple of chuckles here and there, nothing more.

        Due Date was terrible. It’s clearly ripping off Planes Trains, but without understanding what made that film one of the best comedies of all time. Neither character was likeable, and the film simply wasn’t funny. Garbage.

      • Jarv says :

        I did exactly the same thing with Tropic Thunder and the Hangover. Ignored them, forgot about them completely, watched at much later hype-free date.

        Enjoyed both.

      • Jarv says :

        Is 500 Days of Summer meant to be a comedy? Because that was shit.

      • Droid says :

        I liked Napoleon Dynamite.

      • Jarv says :

        I do too- but it’s no way worth the ludicrous nut stroking it gets.

    • Droid says :

      Funnily enough, X-Men is getting positive reviews.

      • Jarv says :

        That is strange. Best be blindingly positive to make me forget the Singer homofests and the Ratner atrocity

      • Droid says :

        All four X-Mens have sat comfortably in the “mediocre” pile for me. I don’t get too worked up over them. All have mildly entertained me. All have been quickly forgotten. I don’t really care much either way about the new one. But I’m sure I’ll end up seeing it.

      • Jarv says :

        X-Men 1 is crap, 2 is boring and crap and 3 is abysmal.

        Didn’t bother with Wolverine.

  38. Jarv says :

    Yeah, it’s just that I did the same thing with both

  39. Droid says :

    Fucked up this comment…

    TT is a lot better than Hangover. Even if I don’t think it completely works, it has some very funny stuff in it.

    I really do think that flick could’ve been awesome if Vin Diesel was in the lead instead of Stiller.

    • Jarv says :

      Vin would have improved it exponentially.

      What the hell is wrong with comedy at the moment. If Tropic Thunder and The Hangover represent the apogee of what is about it’s pitiful.

      It’s in an even worse state than Horror.

      • koutchboom says :

        I really liked TT, there aren’t that many movies with that amount of effort put into them especially in comedy. While I agree Matty’s and Ben’s role should’ve been reversed it still works very well.

        Its hard for me to really give a shit about a critics take on a comedy since they are all such assholes so them telling me one is good or bad isn’t worth shit. I more go off people I know reaction when it comes to comedy, and since I’m no longer in college/high school I don’t hear the catch phrases of comedy movies 24/7 so they never really get overblown for me.

        And I’d be willing to put Hangover and Tropic Thunder up there with any considered “classic” comedies, they are just as good as fuck say something like Planes/Trains/Automobiles. Old classic comdies always recieve this weird revernce of being greater then what has come since them. When in hindsight comedy is SOOO fucking personal that its an irrelevant conversation because there is no one definitive comedy, and you can’t ever really pin point or say what is right/wrong about most comedies beyond “well its really funny”. Not like you can with other sort of films like drama/action when you can extrapelate better as to what makes them great.

        Sure most classic comedies are great, but come on you know most kids these days would choose Hangover over any Charlie Chaplin film, thats another thing about comedy that its such a generational thing. Its not until one gets older would they recognize certain aspects of Chaplin’s work that show what a great comedic peformer he is, but thats not to say that they still wouldn’t find jackass to be funnier than him. I mean with comedy there really is no right, there are just two wrongs – Year One and Evolution.

      • Jarv says :

        When’s your next adventure? You really should do Deep in the Valley.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well thats suppose to be good isn’t it?

        Man I’ve been struggling to watch movies lately, just too busy. Fucking took me almost 3 months to finally watch a Gun a Noodle and a Women Shop. I’ve had A Kings Speech for about a month. I’ve got some lined up though. Hahah FUCK I recorded Stan Helsing and started watching it…jesus couldn’t fucking do it.

      • Jarv says :

        Never even heard of that. it sounds horrid.

      • koutchboom says :

        If you are talking about Stan Helsing..80% of the movie is just this group of people in a fucking car.

        A Gun A Women and a Noodle shop, was very interesting. Its a asian remake of Blood Simple, but it was more of a case study then good movie. I was hoping for more. Really really liked Blood Simple though, it in the Coen brothers top 5 for me.

      • Droid says :

        There’s certainly a personal taste aspect to comedy, but there’s also an overall/general consensus to comedies that are considered “classics”. Planes Trains is far, far superior to TT and Hangover. I’ve seen that movie a lot of times and every time it’s funny. I bet watching Hangover and TT a second time you’d struggle to laugh at the jokes you found funny the first time.

      • Jarv says :

        Comedy, though, is probably the most subjective type out there. There are even wankers that like godawful shite like White Chicks.

      • koutchboom says :

        I ALMOST agreed with you. But I did watch Hangover on DVD and it held up nicely. Also TT held up nicely as well, there is a little drop off toward the end but overall it was still just as funny to me. AND oddly enough I saw Planes Trains inbetween the two, and yeah its still funny, though both characters do come off as a little more creepy then I remembered. I’d say they are all about equal.

      • koutchboom says :

        Ohhh and I said Almost, because I didn’t want to see Hangover on DVD because I thought it would suck a second time round, I even just avoided watching it again for the longest time because of it. But when I finally did I really dug it.

  40. Droid says :

    ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2011 EUROPE : BY JOHN CLEESE

    � The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.

    � The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Libya and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

    � The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the Bastards.” They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

    � Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”

    � The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels:”Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose.”

    � Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

    � The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

    � Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to “She’ll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

    • Jarv says :

      � The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the Bastards.” They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

      Funny

  41. Continentalop says :

    This is the greatest Scotsman ever (next to Groundskeeper Willie):

  42. LBronco says :

    http://www.ayearwithoutrent.com/2011/05/swag.html

    That link is for Conti or anybody in LA

    Xi-I’m halfway through Pressfields “Tides of War”

    Socrates-plz STFU, and the book has done a good job of putting me to sleep.

    How can war be so boring and tiresome? Tides of war definitely answers that question.

    Game of thrones was kickass, and Lucas had to watch JCs The Thing in my house-he parryed with Scott pilgrim then i made him watch Flash Gordon.

    Yeah, I’m fucked up like that.

  43. koutchboom says :

    Hey Conti, or anyone thats seen it. Is Fear City worth seeing?

  44. Jarv says :

    Test Match on today.

    There goes work!

  45. Droid says :

    This is funny. Click the pic to embiggen (if you can’t read it here)

    Injuries from a fall?

  46. Droid says :

    Cast for the Total Recall remake and my assumptions on who they will be playing…

    Colin Farrell (Arnie)
    Bryan Cranston (DO THE CUNT, IRONSIDE!)
    Kate Beckinsale (Consider dat a deevawse.)
    Jessica Biel (Melina)
    Bill Nighy (Cohaagen)
    Ethan Hawke (It’s reportedly a cameo. The Dr, maybe? Kuato? Johnny Cab?)

    Really, couldn’t they just use that cast for something original instead of remaking a great flick?

    • Droid says :

      Nope. Nighy is Kuato.

      Oh dear…

      The movie ditches the Martian storyline from the original pic and instead involves nation states Euromerica and New Shanghai. Farrell plays Douglas Quaid, a factory worker in the latter who begins to believe he is a spy — although he doesn’t know for which side.

      Looks like we’re not going to get any eyeballs popping out of skulls.

    • just pillow talk says :

      PAH!
      That’s all I’ve got to say about that.

    • koutchboom says :

      Is Beckinsales hubbie directing it still?

      Fuck Cranston could be awesome in it, if used properly. Granted most of it will be a repeat of his Breaking Bad stuff but it could work.

      • Jarv says :

        Man, he makes shitty fucking movies.

      • koutchboom says :

        I can’t suffer through an Underworld. But I liked Die Hard 4.0: Live Free or Die Hard. Its the worst of the series, but its still better then most action movies out these days. I mean I saw it roughly back to back with Transformers, and for a movie STARRING a fucking semi truck….Die Hard 4.0: Live Free of Die Hard easily had the better action scene involving a semi truck which is another reason why I hated Transformers.

      • Jarv says :

        It also had Plane Surfing and that painful Kevin Smith cameo. Aside from that though, it’s easily his best film. Even if Olyphant was dire in it.

      • koutchboom says :

        It was funny when I showed my wife all four Die Hards in four days during a snow storm 2 christmas’ ago how I was able to forgive Die Hard 4.0: Live Free of Die Hard for being a bit weak at moments, and how she wasn’t. She said that it wasn’t a Die Hard film. She had never seen them until then and she fell in love with the first ones so much that she was annoyed with Die Hard 4.0: Live Free or Die Hard, I’ll admit I’m too easy on the film, but I enjoyed its ludicrousness.

      • just pillow talk says :

        Take out the stupid plane scene and actually cast someone good as the bad guy, and it would have been 10 times better.

      • koutchboom says :

        Bad guys as a whole have sucked recently, save for the Oscar Bait ones, but really I wonder if thats why they look THAT MUCH better because villians in movies these days all seem to suck.

      • Jarv says :

        I thought that was bollocks when you said it, but now I think about it, I struggle to think of a good bad guy.

        Inception, for example, didn’t have a bad guy at all. The Joker leaps to mind, but Ledger won the Oscar for that.

      • Jarv says :

        Olyphant had a boring character played badly. The other problem is that the heist itself isn’t actually very interesting and/ or cinematic. They’re robbing data streams FFS.

      • koutchboom says :

        I thought they did a decent job with that roided up computer geek breaking into those server towers and all. I could’ve been a lot more boring.

      • Jarv says :

        They did the best job they could with a fundamentally boring plan.

        Also, the scale didn’t feel right, and he shouldn’t be flying a helicopter- but that’s a really nerdy complaint.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah it really is odd, they TRIED to make Waltz a good zany evil villian with The Green Hornet and it only semi works, nothing memorable. Fuck think about possibly the biggest action frachise this past decade, The Boring Trilogy….whose the fucking villian in that thing? Joan Allen? Fuck she was a better villian in a Paul Anderson flick. I don’t remember anything about those films so IDK?

        Its just funny how grandiose villian performances were once the norm….now they just get you an Oscar.

      • Droid says :

        Die Hard 4 was good fun. Not a Die Hard film at all (neither was 3 really), but it was a fun action flick. The plane surfing shit was ridiculous, but since I refuse to acknowledge it lives in the same universe as the other films in the series, it’s fine. And in Olyphantitis’ defence, the character as written was boring.

      • koutchboom says :

        No Die Hard 3: Die Hard With a Vengeance, while yes originally meant to be a Leathal Weapon sequel at least has John Maclane going through the right motions and takes place during a single day. Where as Die Hard 4.0: Live Free or Die Hard doesn’t push John as hard as the other ones and takes place over something like 2 days? But really it comes down more to Bruce Willis himself, with Die Hard 3: Die Hard With a Vengeance he WAS John Mclane, it still felt like John. With Die Hard 4.0: Live Free or Die Hard….it was a very very half assed version of John, which SEMI sort of works with him being older and all. But Die Hard 3: Die Hard With A Vengeance all the key ingrediants are still there.

      • Jarv says :

        Die Hard 3 does feel like Die Hard, because of things like McClane swearing, being pissed, smoking, stubborn, and so forth. All that was missing from 4.

      • Droid says :

        I agree about the character aspect of DH3. It’s definitely McClane. But in terms of the film, I always think a Die Hard should be based around one location. The office building in the first one, or the airport in the second. DH3 lets McClane loose in multiple locations, and it loses the claustrophobia and the lone wolf aspect of the character. One man against the world. But despite all this, I love DH3 to bits and run it a close second to the first one as the best in the series.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well Die Hard 3: Die Hard With a Vengeance did have one location….ALL OF FUCKING NEW YORK!!!!

        They just should’ve come up with a better death for Scar.

      • Jarv says :

        I tend to agree with you about Die Hard being in one building. However, there is a sort of logical expansion to the series so far, and DH2 also features the Church and shit like that. Unfortunately, by expanding it to the Eastern Seaboard, the geography is too big and you have to do silly things like have McClane fly a plane. Furthermore, Long was a mediocre sidekick- he wasn’t as funny as Samuel L. in 3, and he seemed to exist for exposition: “Blah, fire sale, blah, turn it off and on again, blah”. Adding in his daughter as well- what the fuck?

        No, not a good film.

      • Droid says :

        They’re all over New York (pretty big place), on a ship, at the Canadian border. Too much! But I love it anyway.

      • Droid says :

        It’s the lone warrior aspect of the character that gets lost. In DH he was all by himself. DH2, all by himself. DH3 they gave him SLJ to help as well as cops to take care of other aspects of the plot. DH4, sidekick etc. I like the character because he is the one bloke that’s willing to keep battling to the end. When you give him assistance, he loses some of the appeal.

      • Jarv says :

        Yeah, I think Frank described him as “one stubborn bastard”.

        It’s true.

      • Jarv says :

        Final Word to the Monkey:

        You know what? Fuck this film. Live Free Or Die Hard is not mint. Live Free Or Die Hard does not even know how to spell mint. Live Free Or Die Hard would not be mint even if it fell into a giant vat of mint sauce with a family pack of Tic Tacs shoved up its ass.

        Live Free Or Die Hard is wank.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well in Die Hard he had Sgt. Al Powell to bounce off of, so it’s not this entirely lone wold operation. So having a patner wasn’t some drastic change.

        Also again Die Hard 3: Die Hard With A Vengeance was a spec script for a Leatheal Weapon Sequel and they didn’t want to change much, so he needed a black partner.

      • koutchboom says :

        Anyone remember that bad ass Play Station Die Hard trilogy game?

      • Jarv says :

        Never played it.

  47. Jarv says :

    Hehehehehe

    Mitch, you fucking retard:

  48. Droid says :

    The Losers had an entertaining villain. Patric looked like he was having fun. As was Molina in The Sorcerer’s Apprentice. And Danny Huston hammed it up nicely in The Warriors Way.

    • Jarv says :

      How could I forget:

      The Tiger in Burning Bright. Although I did question his motivation and competence for not eating the tard.

      • Jarv says :

        Die Hard needs a good villain.

        Maybe Green Lantern will have a good one.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well its Paralax, something like Peter Sarsgaard gets inhabitited by a bit of him? Thats just going off what I see in the trailer. If they are smart they’ll make Peter Sarsgaard gay, he’s only good when he’s playing gay.

      • koutchboom says :

        Haven’t seen Losers or Warriors. Molina was good in Appretice though. A-Team had a lame villian. Thor’s villian, while interesting I liked that slow build, didn’t pop enough at the end when he should’ve. Iron Man’s 1-2 obviously the biggest problem here. Least interesting villians ever.

      • Droid says :

        Waltz’ villain in Green Hornet was the weakest aspect of the movie. All the stuff he said just came off as a bit too “written”. But I quite enjoyed that flick overall.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah I think coming off of Bastards it was just too easy to shoe horn him in that style of role, something that he always does in his German movies I hear. I get that they are going off his name and big win but they should’ve gone with someone zanier for that movie, also I couldn’t help but think (mainly because of his cameo) that Franco should’ve been the Green Hornet over Seth.

      • Continentalop says :

        I thought the villain in GL was Hector Hammond (who is not one of GL’s best IMO). But Sinestro is in it so they have a great villain for the sequel.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well Parallax is in the trailer? Is Hector Hammond Saarsguard? I don’t know much about Green Lantern.

      • Droid says :

        Nic Cage was attached as the villain at one stage (when Chow was directing I believe).

      • koutchboom says :

        Heheh yeah that probably would’ve ended up much worse somehow. You can’t count on Cage these days mainly because of THE FUCKING HANGERS!

      • Continentalop says :

        Yeah, Saarsguard plays Hammond. So expect him to get elephantiasis of the forehead, ala the Leader or M.O.D.O.K.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well why does he do that? Does he have a connection to Parallax? Thats what is looks like in the trailer, that he gets some Alien bits from the Boba Fett Alien crash and injects himself with it and unleashed Parrallax in the process, because its a fragmet of Parallax he’s injected himself with.

      • Continentalop says :

        In the comics he finds an alien substance which causes him to “evolve” into a Homo Omega, gaining vast intelligence and psychic powers (but getting a big head and weak body in the process). They probably changed his origin so that the stuff that mutates him comes from the original Lantern’s space ship.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah I mean I’m just going off the trailer and there is a scene where it looks like he’s some how summoned Parallax.

  49. koutchboom says :

    X-Men Five looks to have a lame villian. Sure its Kevin Bacon but it seems like a nothing role.

    • Continentalop says :

      You know what amazes me is how boring the Bond villains have been the last two outings. And that’s what that movie series is famous for, along with beautiful women.

      I can understand an understated in CR but QoS’s villain was completely lacking menace.

      • Droid says :

        QoS blew in general. The evil master plan was almost the worst supervillain scheme in history. Almost. The worst is clearly Tomorrow Never Dies.

      • koutchboom says :

        Heheh jesus how lame would tomorrow never dies be NOW if they tried to make it in this internet as the number one source of news world we live in?

        WELL guess what it pretty much happened in real life…sort of, with seth macfarlane’s buddy Arianna Huffington’s merger with AOL taking over all those news sites.

      • Jarv says :

        The World is Not Enough is crap as well.

        This has been the problem with the Bond films since Goldeneye- (excluding Die Another Day which was terrible for many, many other reasons) the villainous plans have no scope- TND? Sell papers. WiNE? control pipeline. DAD- OK, Space Laser. Can’t even remember the last 2.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well Space Laser is fine, thats aleast fun.

      • Continentalop says :

        CR at least Cipher was funding terrorism. It makes sense to stop him. But QoS was about water.

        Hey, water can be sexy and thrilling – look at Chinatown – but QoS didn’t pull that off at all.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah ONLY Polanski could make incest SEXY!

      • Continentalop says :

        The idea of a 70+ year old John Huston shagging his daughter/grand-daughter after he drags her off at the end? Hardly sexy, but fuck was that not a disturbing shot.

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