Burt Gummer’s Rec Room June 2011 Archive

A gathering place for firearms enthusiasts, paranoid survivalists and those who worship at the Church of Chang

June. Although as Perfection is in the middle of a desert, that doesn’t make a lot of difference. Nevertheless, it’s graboid breedin’ season, so we’d best unpack the large calibre weaponry. And some beers. Especially the beers.

Disclaimer: This is the part of the Church that is the most no holds barred. None of it is intended with malice, and although it can on occasion seem a little bit fraught, it is banter rather than venom.

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2,888 responses to “Burt Gummer’s Rec Room June 2011 Archive”

  1. Bartleby says :

    oh, nevermind, you meant Badboys…my mistake.

  2. koutchboom says :

    Well this isn’t good news:

    Cars 2’s run featured the 3D illusion at 2,508 locations, which accounted for 40 percent of the gross (including 150 IMAX screens that contributed five percent). The 3D share was even less than what Kung Fu Panda 2, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides and Green Lantern posted in their unenthusiastic 3D debuts. For perspective, Toy Story 3’s 3D share was 60 percent (with 2,463 3D venues), while Up’s was 52 percent (with only 1,534 3D venues). Distributor Walt Disney Pictures’ exit polling indicated that Cars 2’s audience was 53 percent male and 56 percent under 25 years old (36 percent was age 11 and younger).

  3. Bartleby says :

    I really want to like Transformers 3. I liked–with reservations–the first one. Im just worried he went so far with T2 that there’s no coming back from that abhorrent noise.

    Harry’s review will do nothing to assuage my fears. Im going tonight with my dad, so that should be fun.

    • koutchboom says :

      You should just leave and come back like every 10 minutes I bet its fucking awesome that way? Like the second there are no robots on screen just fucking leave for a smoke come back there will be some giant robot ass kicking for 10 more minutes. Just keep repeating and you’ll probably proclaim its the most amazing movie you’ve ever seen.

    • Bartleby says :

      A ‘sentence’ in Harry’ review actually says: ‘Hang open and perhaps end with a smile.’

      That sounds like a menu item at a seedy massage parlor.

      That’s right after he says the movie will ‘physically make your jaw drop.’ Umm, not unless it emits some weird X-Files gas that destroys muscle tissue, dipwad.

      • Droid says :

        Does the film reach out and grab your jaw, yanking it downwards? Cause that’s the only way it could “physically make your jaw drop” I can think of. Unless watching the movie gives you cancer, and it makes your jaw drop off. I suppose that’s another way.

      • koutchboom says :

        THATS THE 3D BABY!

      • koutchboom says :

        OHHH FUCK! Maybe Harry’s coming down with Ebert disease?

      • Droid says :

        Phew. I’ll see it in 2D, so I dodged a bullet there.

      • Jarv says :

        Did you read that review?

        It’s a fucking joke- it’s greener than the Amazon basin- and it’s transparently so. The film is still full of shit he hates, but he’s making out it’s like Russ Meyer, and Shia is a “Rodney Dangerfield” Character.

        He’s made it sound totally hateful, like the cretinism of the first one turned up to 1 million.

        Pass. But I was going to pass anyway.

      • Bartleby says :

        otherwise, his review is somewhat encouraging. Even read through the Harry filter. It sounds like an actual story, which the first one was (dippy as hell but still a story). I like the idea of buzz aldren having to meet with the Autobots and fill them in on what he’s known all this time. I feel like Im being set-up though.

      • Jarv says :

        The fuck it is:

        But what sets this apart from the other two is that the TRANSFORMERS story is genuinely a really dire and powerful problem. There’s old school betrayal going on. Then there’s SPOCK-BOT! I love SPOCK-BOT! I love that SPOCK-BOT friggin looks like Nimoy – and I love that the film heads in directions that look pretty damn bad for the Autobots. I love that this isn’t just a story where Sam might die, but everyone is in danger. I love the Government soldiers in the last hour. I love the flying squirrel suits. I love the 3D. Love it.

        That entire paragraph suggests that it’s hateful. He’s tried to make out it’s a big and dire problem then wanks about a Robot that looks like fucking Nimoy. Then back to the problem, then to Squirrel Suits. Then 3D.

        Or…

        he still has some of that silly shit that I don’t like. You know – like Shia’s parents, like John Turturro’s character… and to the ultimate in silly, they add a character by John Malkovich and Frances McDormand – and it is like Bay was saying, “I want Academy Award level actors, but I’m going to make them act like the silly characters in a Russ Meyer flick.” Because that’s how Turturro, Malkovich and McDormand come across. Those 3 characters & the parents are just terrible.

        Or

        wait, that would totally not work, because by her talent level, it would mean using BAY-acting-physics that Carey Mulligan would be required to be nothing more than be an incredibly silly & grating character… whereas Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, who’s vaunted acting experience is limited to modeling Victoria Secret fashions… which I’m positive she is brilliant at.

        Female lead can’t act? Surely not.

      • Jarv says :

        Not that I’m picking on the fat moron, but he really is the worst reviewer out there:

        It wore my brain out watching it.

        Yup, it’s loud and stupid again

        Or…

        I still find myself longing for a Transformers film where the Transformers are themselves the central characters. Where there is no need for goofy humor and we can tell the story completely straight, with an occasional light moment here or there… But applying Russ Meyer dynamics to giant summer toy inspired filmmaking…

        For a start, it isn’t Meyer, because the biggest tit here is the morbidly obese bloodnut with the glasses on.

        I could go on and on with this one.

      • koutchboom says :

        Rosie Huntington-Whiteley I’m pretty sure Jarv’s a prettier women than that thing. Seriously it really has gotten to the point where the leading men are much prettier than the leading ladies.

      • Bartleby says :

        No, because the cretinism cant get higher than Transformers 2 Jarv. Theres no reference to robot farts and gangbanger bots, so if its onlyt the humans acting dippy, that’s a huge improvement.

        I agree, he goes on too long about that to the point of apology. Its just bad storytelling to hamstring your actors to make them silly for no reason.

      • Bartleby says :

        oh, I see. he’s an idiot. I missed that because I’ve seen the character he’s talking about. It’s Sentinel Prime and it’s voiced by Nimoy, but it doesn’t actualyl look like Spock or Nimoy, and it’s not actually suppiosed to make people think ‘Spock!’

        What he’s trying to do is use geeky shorthand. The robot, if it’s similar to the toons, will serve a similar mentorship with Optimus that Spock and Kirk shared.

        When you point it out, it does sound like Bay threw in a pointy eared robot that is suppose dto mock Spock/Nimoy and do nothing but reference Star Wars. I haven’t seen the movie, but the clips they sent me sugges this isnt remotely the case. I’m not defending the movie yet, just saying he’s not expressing what he means there, but whats new.

      • Jarv says :

        Some nice talkbacker has put up other reviews- and it’s being battered- the Mail (who I hate) called it the worst in the series.

      • Jarv says :

        Ouch:

        Transformers: Dark of the Moon is little more than a ‘leave your brain at the door’ film for audiences with the dubious ability to stop themselves from thinking. The problem is, such films still need to be exciting, engaging and entertaining and not boring, annoying and embarrassing.

      • Bartleby says :

        damn it.

      • Jarv says :

        Total Film:

        Now for the bad news. British model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is awful – awful! – as LaBeouf’s new love interest, sucking the life out of every scene she appears in like some pneumatic Dyson sexbot.

        Introduced with a leering pan up her Victoria’s Secret pins, she achieves the unlikely feat of making Megan Fox look like a proper actress, particularly at moments where she is required to be in peril.

        Huntington-Whiteley is so terrible, in fact, she makes her co-stars bad too. LaBeouf, for one, has rarely looked so sweatily desperate than in scenes where he is obliged to simulate ardour. But then his own performance isn’t much to write home about either, pitched as it is at such a heightened level of consternation you fear he might pass out at any minute.

        TF3 is critic proof both ways- no amount of glowing reviews was going to get me to pitch up at it, and no amount of bad reviews will change its audience’s mind.

      • koutchboom says :

        has rarely looked so sweatily desperate than in scenes where he is obliged to simulate ardour

        Bahahah thats cause Shia’s like??? This is the chick you got to star in this movie? Give me 10 minutes and I’ll run down to the local Starbucks and bring back 5 hotter looking women.

  4. koutchboom says :

    Whats weird to think about with Transformers right, since they’ve made them just like ENTITIES now…..can you REALLY ever kill one?

    There was a scene in the first movie where some transformer Bumble? (Who knows the fucking names anyway outside of Opitmus?) where they are some shitty car and they pass by a much newer/nicer version of that car and then some gobbly gook blue waves go over the nicer newer car and NOW that car is the transformer.

    My brother liked this idea, I don’t know how I felt about it at the time. I mean it is sort of odd how these aliens would be born into looking like the newest model of whatever car was hot at the moment. But since they can just BLUE WAVE over into a new machine how can they ever die? I remember some shit with the ELDERS from part two? So like if your machine is killed before you can BLUE WAVE into a newer machine do you just end up there? And how come there hasn’t been an instance where two Transformers blue wave into the same machine and fight for control (would that beget a Being John Malcovich senario?)

    AND if I was the asshole that brought this up at a meeting would Michael Bay just straight up punch me in the face and fire me?

    • Bartleby says :

      you would probably cause his jaw to literally, physically drop open.

      • koutchboom says :

        Naw he probably would say….”eh no ones every thought about Transformers that hard and they never will…get the fuck out of here your fired:”

        Then somehow it would leak to the press that I made some PRO Hitler comment and was a complete Diva.

      • Bartleby says :

        ha, yea. I remember starting my Transformers 2 review with the line ‘ I dont think Michael Bay actually knows what a robot is.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah I mean it sort of makes sense to MAKE them like that because that would better explain their form, but at the same time it wasn’t thought out about how they could actually die? Have any of them even actually died in the series? IDK?

        Whats REALLY REALLY fucking odd about the Transformers and Pirates 1-3 series…..is just HOW fucking conveluted and murky those stories are, even for fucking fans. Like I bet you couldn’t ask some kid to explain the plot of any of those series all the way through, compared to say something like Spiderman even or X-Men. Its just odd how almost OVER thought out the ideas of Pirates and Transformers sort of are, yet how underdeveloped they are. I mean they aren’t your basic BLOCKBUSTER movies, I wonder if thats part of the love behind them? Yeah I guess at (at least Transformers 1 heart) it was about a geeky kid becoming cool and winning the girl? But the whole shit with the transformers yeah I can’t explain it unless I sat down and fucking studied up on it, same with pirates.

      • Jarv says :

        X-Men 1-3 is pretty fucking convoluted.

        Not to mention that there are only two spider-man films and one of them is meh, while the other is OK but overrated.

      • koutchboom says :

        Naw Spiderman’s 1-3 are easy to go over there’s just the slight revision in 3 but thats not that hard to basically follow. Same with the X-mens…now I’m not even talking about like/dislike or BAFFLING decisions made in any of these films. I’m talking about pure straight up story narative and the Spidey’s and X-mens flow decently enough from A to B to C.

      • koutchboom says :

        And its not like Harry Potter movies where theres all that follow up text, and I’m pretty sure if I gave more of a shit I could explain the whole potter series to you, I am gonna rewatch them because the wife hasn’t seen any of them. And for the most part when I see those movies they make sense, I just don’t care enough to remember them between the gaps, maybe watching them all in a short span with make more sense, but when I’ve seen them I’ve never gone??? What the fuck is this all about again? With Transformers 2 for the first hour and a half I was just fucking confused and scared, cold, nervous, sick feeling. Its odd it really is some sort of brainwashing material. I bet its all one giant military recruitment ploy or secret government mind control device.

      • Droid says :

        One of them died in the first movie. The soul brother one. Jax? I don’t know. But OptiPrime pours one out for his homie in that movie.

      • Bartleby says :

        I think that’s why rewatching Fellowship reminded me why I liked those movies. All other flaws aside, not needlessly complex or convoluted. Well, parts of 3 are, but otherwise, pretty straightforward.

        Rewatching Fellowship, why exactly do you hate it Jarv?

      • Jarv says :

        I don’t hate Fellowship. I think Bean is totally miscast, and it spends far too long fucking around in Hobbiton, but aside from that, it’s good.

      • Bartleby says :

        Droid, it was Jax, yes. That was funniest part of the movie. Prime comes up holding the pieces of Jax like he just broke his bike, and says ‘Awww, Jaaazz!’ like it wasnt a dead friend but a splintered toy.

      • Jarv says :

        I think that had the sole good line in the film as well- whatever tokenblackbot said to Megatron, and Megatron’s reply.

      • Bartleby says :

        ‘You want a piece of me?’ ‘Sure, I’ll take two!’

      • Jarv says :

        That’s the one. Not a great line, but it made me think fondly of 80’s action cheesiness. Which is what fucking Transformers should be.

      • Droid says :

        The first Pirates is simple.

        Jack was Captain of the Black Pearl. Barbossa led a mutiny and marooned Jack. Barbossa and crew stole the gold and were cursed. The movie opens just after that if I’m not mistaken. Will has the remaining coin and the blood. Jack wants his ship back.

        That’s it.

      • Jarv says :

        Missed a bit.

        Barbossa mistakes Knightly for the coin holder and kidnaps her. Will wants her back. Knightly’s fiancé doesn’t like pirates and isn’t chuffed with his missus being kidnapped so he wants her back.

        Still, not especially complex.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah because thats a lot easier to follow than, guy gets bitten by mutant spider and gets powers then fights some evil rich madmen?

        Yeah Priates 1 and Trannys 1 are memorable ENOUGH to lay out the plot, and Pirates 1 is at least sort of referencial to enough old pirate tales that it’ll stick in your memory. But I’m saying in terms of GIANT SUMMER BLOCK BUSTER its pretty intricate, THEN add in whatever the fuck 2-3 were about and you’ve got a total cluster fuck of ideas.

        Its just sort of funny to me how COMPLEX these movies are yet HOW fucking dumb they are at the same time.

      • Bartleby says :

        Pirates one was very simple. It wasn t until the sequels that you need an excel spreadsheet to keep track of all the doublecrosses, creatures and mystical objects.

      • Bartleby says :

        for the most part I think Transformers 1 mostly worked like that, and if they managed that tone for most of it, I can grudgingly overlook ‘some’ jackassery. I’ll still point it out, but as long as its not as obscenely mean-spirited and insulting as T2 I might be able to wring some enjoyment out of it.

        But damn, these are summer movies, we shouldn go in with the best case scenario being ‘minimal suffering’.

      • koutchboom says :

        What was funny about Trans 1 was HOW GOOD Shia came out in it, he was like the best part. And just HOW fucking terrible John Voigt/Antony Anderson/John Turturro were, they made me hate that movie because they should’ve known better, it felt like they didn’t fucking believe this movie would ever actually get made/finished/released in theaters they were so bad.

        AND how did John Turturro take over Steve Buscemi’s Bay roles?

  5. Bartleby says :

    Jazz* my mistake.

  6. Droid says :

    Trannyformers 1 was simple as well. The allspark was the macguffin. Two sets of alien robots travel to earth to find it. One kid holds the key to finding it.

    I don’t know what the hell the second one was about. All I remember was being traumatised by gangsta robots, old walking cane robot, robot testicles and robot hot chick.

    • Droid says :

      Oh, and robot leg humping.

      Christ. What a shit fucking movie.

      • Jarv says :

        Load of wank.

        On this note. I’m outta here. Going for beer to wait for Mrs. Jarv.

        See you later.

      • just pillow talk says :

        Fuck, I’m glad I’ve never seen the second one.

        What bothers me about these movies is that they don’t have to include all this shit to be a good kid’s movie.

  7. tombando says :

    Naturally I have the first two and have watched them (way) too much for my own sanity. (I should state upfront I am immune to what usually afflicts those who watch Bay’s big Robots movies. So that’s a plus? a minus? you tell me). The best way to take the second is:

    *Watch the opening 10 mins.

    *Skip everything til the Forest Fight about 40 mins in.

    *Skip everything until you see desert that’s not filled w/ planes.

    *Watch the Pyramid fight.

    That’s it, really. Huey and Dewey were just terrible character design-hello?!? why not just name them Rufus and LaMont for Crissakes-Turturro was a riot, the parents need to be edited out, Megan was cute but that’s it, the plot was unplotted and best ignored.

    I am def. looking forwards to this one. Has Spock doing a robot voice AND stuff blowing up near Lake Michigan. Works for me on a frighteningly large amount of levels.

    • Droid says :

      I would’ve thought it only needs to work on one level for you, Bando. That being, it features Giant Robots Hitting Each Other.

      • tombando says :

        Well yes Droid that is the be all to end all. Plus stuff blowing up. Noted_Sage Bart_Echo here was on the money-Robot Lions. You need those to make for good movie going experience.

    • Bartleby says :

      not to get you too ridiculously excited, but I saw a tv spot for T3 last night which had two large feline-like transformers rampaging down a freeway. Now I did not immediately see any manes, so they might have been robotic panthers or robotic ocelots, but there was at least an outside chance they were GIANT ROBOT LIONS.

  8. Droid says :

    Last night I watched the best film of 2011 thus far (yes, it’s pipped Fast Five at the post)…

    Rango… Absolutely loved it. Hilarious, witty, fantastic animation, very referential without the cheap Dreamworks/Fox style pop culture jokes, and hands down Johnny Depps best performance since the first Pirates flick or even Ed Wood. Highly recommended.

    • Jarv says :

      Last night watched:

      Devil- solid film, a bit predictable, but otherwise quite good.

      • Jarv says :

        Also, it has a European release for 2011.

        I’m wondering if I can fudge it for the PMT review for 2011.

      • Jarv says :

        The problem with it was that I guessed who Satan was really early on, and the end was annoying.

      • Jarv says :

        Mrs. Jarv wanted to watch Ink, so despite me whinging about it being too early, watched it again.

        Noticed things I missed first time out, and enjoyed it just as much.

        Definitely buying it.

      • Droid says :

        Meh. That movie was too long. And it only went for 70 minutes or something. It’s premise is purely TV length. I kept expecting the Winchesters to show up. Would’ve been a decent SN ep, but feature film? Nope.

      • Droid says :

        It was released in US and UK in September 2010.

      • Jarv says :

        I know.

        It was France, Germany and a load of other places in 2011.

        What’s that film Koutch was rattling on about? Or I’m going to Stakeland tomorrow, so if that’s good then that could be it.

      • koutchboom says :

        INSIDIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Droid says :

        Why don’t you wait and do Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark or something. There’s still 6 months left in 2011. Something will come out.

        Or do Pre Millenial Trauma and count down from 99.

      • Jarv says :

        That’s a good idea.

        I was going to go back down from 2011, and finish at 2000, because there are loads of good ones that I couldn’t do (Cold Prey, Cold Prey 2, Rec, Rec 2)

        There are still problem years (2002 &4).

      • Droid says :

        Yeah, but A) it’s not good enough to do it for PMT, B) I would only go by US or UK release. It’s a 2010 film. And you have plenty of time for one this year. I’d do Stakeland, because at least thats pretty good and was released in the UK in 2011.

        Unless you’re desperate to review Devil. In which case go nuts.

      • Droid says :

        I reckon you should wait until the other Recs come out and do a Rec-a-thon review.

      • Jarv says :

        That’s an even better idea. When are they due?

        You’ve had your smart pills this morning.

      • Jarv says :

        Or, if I’m sensible, I could stop at 2011, and restart the series next Autumn adding in a 2012 as the last one.

      • Droid says :

        Sometime this year I think.

        Also, I’d like to inform you that there is a DTV Quarantine sequel titled…

        Quarantine 2: Terminal

        Just FYI

      • Jarv says :

        Ooooooh Fuck. I completely forgot about the Quarantine fiasco.

        That makes *gulp* 6 films in total. 2 of which are excellent, one of which is certain to suck being a prequel, one unknown and 2 shitty remakes one of which is DTV.

      • Droid says :

        Oh, I thought you knew that! Why do you think I suggested it!? Here’s the Q2 synopsis…

        An apartment building in Los Angeles was quarantined by the CDC (Center for Disease Control), trapping the frightened residents inside as a deadly mutant virus turned the residents into rabid killers. Quarantine 2: Terminal picks up later that night at LAX, as passengers board a flight to Nashville. When a passenger becomes violently ill with a mysterious rabies-like virus, the plane makes an emergency landing at a large metropolitan airport. Jenny (Mercedes Masöhn), a heroic yet inexperienced flight attendant, takes charge of the safety of her passengers. Relieved when a swarm of heavily equipped emergency vehicles, police units and the CDC arrive, Jenny and the passengers soon discover that they have been quarantined and are now trapped. Desperate to escape, Jenny enlists the help of one of the surviving passengers, a kindergarten teacher, Henry (Josh Cooke), to devise a plan to survive.

      • Jarv says :

        That has less than nothing to do with the premise of Rec/ original Quarantine.

        For fuck’s sake. Hackery.

    • koutchboom says :

      Eh it wasn’t in 3D so I skipped it. I doubt its better than Kung Fu Panda 2: Die Harder.

      • Droid says :

        You missed out then. It’s awesome. KFP2 won’t be as good, because I was bored by KFP1. You might like it more. Not me though.

        And fuck 3D. Useless fucking tech designed to milk more money out of filmgoers.

      • koutchboom says :

        Naw I was bored by KP1 as well, KP2 fucking destroys it. Its gonna be tough to beat that film, it has everything best action so far this year, funniest movie so far this year (the yelling bit is going to be hard to top), best parody since probably Shaun Of the Dead, big heart, great villian, its only downside…..weak use of JCVD…..but seeing that there has only been 1 good use of him since Double Team ANY decent use of the JCVD is good.

        I’m sure I’ll like Rango I don’t know why I missed it in theaters. I think it was because I saw the video game trailer and thought that looked way more engaging/fun than the movie.

      • Jarv says :

        JCVD itself, surely?

      • Droid says :

        Rango was one of those rare films where you wish you saw it at the cinema. Its a great looking flick, fun action and lots of laughs.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well see, it doesn’t look like it had a lot of Heart and thats where I think Panda will top it, also maybe in the animation department, Dreamworks showed in Kung Fu Panda 2 that they have the ability to make an amazing looking 2D film as well as 3D. Also I think Kung Fu Panda 2 was a more loving look at Kung Fu films than either of the Kill Bills.

        Also Rango is a bunch of whats his fucks humor, the Fear And Loathing guy which I don’t always like. Maybe I’ll see if its at the 1 Quid theater.

      • Droid says :

        Nah it’s got all that. It just doesn’t dwell on it in the usual cloying american touchy feely kind of way. It also helps if you love westerns (which I do) because it does reference them and play on the archetypes and conventions of western heroes and villains.

        I’ll check out KFP2 on dvd.

      • koutchboom says :

        Hehehe well see there you go 2 great cartoons that are in love with Westerns and Kung Fu films apeing what other films have tried to do in recent years.

        I was really fucking surprised with how good Kung Fu Panda 2, because I was very MEH on the first one, it had some good action but the story was sort of been there done that. I liked the BUILD of that story from 1, that’s handled very nicely and given more of his backstory just a great film. Also one of the best villain in a while, much more interesting then the villain in 1. IF anything KFP2 makes me LIKE KFP1 that much more because of where they took the story and what a solid base 1 gave 2 to build on. And KFP 2 is one of Gary Oldman’s best villain roles, its like OHHH FUCKING YEAH this is why I love Gary Oldman because he’s evil as shit, probably his third best villain behind Leon and 5th Element.

  9. Lord Bronco says :

    OK, i watched “Repo Men”

    Starring what’s his face and Forrest Whitaker.

    It’s an Oranguatan of Doom.

    I’m embarrassed to be a hominid.

    This movie sucks on every level that suck can be defined in.

    I thought people were exaggerating, but no-I’ve been proven wrong.

  10. just pillow talk says :

    Morning bitches…

    So I watched Nightwatch, which despite my better judgement, I’ll probably end up watching Daywatch at some point. Good film? Not really, but what the hell…

    Awright Jarv, so I watched Ink last night. And it is quite a delightful little movie. I wholeheartedly agree with the child actor being excellent, and the dude who played John was good as well. It really is worth a look by everyone. The ending is very good.

    But if I remember correctly from your review Jarv, you were unsure why Ink was bringing Emma to tv screen dudes. I thought it was stated that Ink wanted to become one of the tv screen dudes? Now, Ink I don’t think knew why he wanted to become one.

    • Jarv says :

      That’s not what I meant. He’s taking her so that he’ll become one of them and the pain will stop. It’s not revealed as to why they want her in particular. Or why the Storytellers are fighting so hard to get her back.

      • Jarv says :

        Daywatch is complete and utter shit with an obnoxious and offensive ending that craps all over and ruins both films.

      • just pillow talk says :

        FFFFUUUUUUUUCCCCKKK!

        My whole response never posted. Fuck you internets!!!!

        Pah…yeah, I got ya now Jarv. I just think they fought so hard because by saving one soul, the other would be saved as well. A two-for-one special as it were.

      • Jarv says :

        Actually, when I rewatched it, it was spelled out more. This is an enormous spoiler so it’s in Invisitxt:

        The way it works is that Allel’s group of Storyteller’s aren’t in on the whole story. Liev is basically Storyteller General, and they’re her army. They’re buying her time to get Ink to come to his Senses. Ink is potentially the most evil Incubus of them all, and they aren’t aware that the battle isn’t for the girl, it’s for Ink.

        That’s as close as I can get.

        Daywatch: Well, if you’re a fan of stupid, pointless magic reset buttons then go for it.

      • just pillow talk says :

        I know I should runaway from Daywatch now after what you just said, but it beckons me for some strange reason…

      • Droid says :

        I never had any interest in those movies.

      • just pillow talk says :

        Yeah, Ink was expecting the ‘troops’ to arrive, and was shocked when they didn’t come to her aid.

    • koutchboom says :

      Daywatch is pretty much a so bad its good movie for me, like that movie just gets to a point where you are just amazed at all the shit they are throwing at the screen. Its a BIT of a headache but at least it was interesting and something a little different if not entirely making a lot of sense.

      • Jarv says :

        I’d agree with that, were it not for the ending. Which takes it right back to so bad it’s actually awful.

  11. just pillow talk says :

    Ugh…it already feels like I’ve been here for half a day, and I’ve only been here for an hour. Fuck.

  12. Droid says :

    That’s three positive reviews for Trannyformers 3 over at gingertown. Which begs the question… Why does one site need THREE reviews of the same movie!?!?!?!

    • just pillow talk says :

      Yeah, I saw that. I actually read Nordling’s review, which basically says that it’s complete shit, but not quite as stinky as the second shit movie, and the siege on Chicago is filmed quite well action-wise.

      • Droid says :

        I skimmed the first paragraph of the two newer ones. One of them says that it’s the best use of 3D in a film ever (for the models intro apparantly) and the other says that all the whacky characters are great. I stopped reading them after that.

      • just pillow talk says :

        Also “surpasses anything James Cameron has done with the technology” or something like that.

    • Jarv says :

      Because they’re fucking idiots. I can understand multiple reviews if they’re either dissenting or amusing. AICN’s wankfests are neither.

      They’re will be a token negative review at some point.

      • Droid says :

        If they’re offering different opinions fine. But they’re all just saying “yeah, it’s kinda shit but who cares?”. So whats the point of three?

    • Droid says :

      It’s not that I care that they like the film or not. Its the fact that they make the same points, just in different, poorly written ways.

      • Jarv says :

        Agreed totally,

        It’s because they’re fucking morons.

      • just pillow talk says :

        That’s always been the case though. Four or five reviews of the same fucking movie, with one like you say the token dissenting voice to the others.

        Bah! You guys have always written much more well-reasoned reviews as to why or why not you enjoyed a particular movie (which, I know goes without saying, but there it is).

    • koutchboom says :

      Abom Snowcone said it was just more of the same, so there you have it.

      Did Droid or Jarv see Green Lantern yet?

    • tombando says :

      I promise you-on a stack of Gideon’s(TM) that I didn’t write any of them.

  13. koutchboom says :

    Watched the HBO doc HOT COFFEE last night, about the old lady who sued McD’s because she spilled hot coffee on her lap and burned her self. I already understood the case and why she sued thats fine bleed giant corporations for all they are worth I’m all about that. BUT JESUS CHRIST fuck me they showed pictures of what happened to her, FUCK that shit was fucking NASTY.

    Really good doc though, its all about how corporations are fucking us for greed and how fucking smart Karl Rove is but he works for satan. Jesus its like IMAGINE if that little fuck really had America’s best interest at heart how much better off we’d be right now.

    • Jarv says :

      Did they show how she asked for them to make it “extra hot” because she knew she had to drive somewhere with it?

      Fuck that. Self inflicted.

      • koutchboom says :

        Ehhhh see I was like that when it first happened I was totally like FUCK THAT DUMB BITCH. Then I took some basic law classes in college and we went over that case and the whole idea that you NEED TO SUE THE PERSON with the most money and I was on her side. ALSO I thought she was like 30-40 and it caused her not to have kids.

        NOW after seeing that movie and realizing she was fucking 80 something when it happened and those fucking pictures jesus christ, no way that was self inflected, and how she didn’t even want money she just wanted them to pay for her medical bills, yeah I’m totally on her side and she’s dead now anyway. But the bigger aspect of that movie was just how companies are getting further and further away from being held responsible for anything and how its soooo fucked and far removed from the consumers hands. YEAH sure you wanna be a mountain man and not own anything they you are safe. BUT if you want house/cable/tv/car/computer/medical treatment and say one of those things kills you are seriously injures you…..how its almost immpossible not for you to even collect SOME money from the company. How the corporations play on the notion of FRIVIOUSLY law suits clogging out court, which is bullshit or how putting caps on seattlements and use arbitration rather than the judicial system IS somehow passing the savings onto you….which is bullshit because insurance prices never go down.

        ITS SORT of explains how Karl Rove was controling america. Just some eye opening shit, because a lot of the time you go FUCK HER, her fault. BUT jesus when McD’s makes a billion dollars in coffee every day they should’ve just paid for her fucking medical bills. Also there were over 700 filed complaints of the coffee causing burns before her, she was just the first person to persue it. I mean it all comes down to fear of fault and negativity in the public light, which is annoying to me this notion of the world today how no one ever just fucking admits wrong doing are just fucking up, just try to cover it and bury it somehow.

      • Jarv says :

        Vicarious Liability is what you’re talking about. True.

        However, on the basis that she asked for it to be made extra hot, and then was stupid enough to be fucking DRIVING with scalding hot coffee (that she requested) between her legs- I’d say she has to at least take some responsibility for it. She’s a fucking moron- and it’s only that PI in the UK and America has got so far out of control that morons can sue for this shit.

        Take, for example, this douchebag in the UK that broke into a nightclub in Cardiff (real case this) to try to avoid paying the £!0 door charge. The silly fucker climbed in through a window, slipped and smashed his teeth out on the basin. Award? £10K.

        Koutch, there are MILLIONS of frivolous lawsuits out there, but it’s all the fault of idiotic Judges and greedy Ambulance chasers, and moronic members of the public that don’t understand that you actually have to be able to demonstrate harm and “it isn’t right” isn’t justification for recourse to law. Don’t forget that the Corporations are just as guilty of suing unjustifiably as anyone else- McLibel, anyone?

      • Jarv says :

        The other thing to remember here is the difference between America and Britain on this- we don’t dish out punitive damages, America does. Therefore, here it’s to compensate for loss of earnings, medical bills, etc. In America, Juries/ Judges have been known to punish the “evil” corporations.

        The other thing to remember is that if you try to sue a corporation, you’ll probably lose. For the simple reason that they’ve got more money than you- and can therefore afford to pursue it through the appeal courts. You can’t.

      • koutchboom says :

        I don’t know where you get the EXTRA hot thing from? Also she wasn’t driving, she was in the passengers seat and they were in the parking lot and the cap popped off.

      • Jarv says :

        they were in the parking lot and the cap popped off

        Not true.

        This is revisionism. She had it between her legs, squeezed, off came the lid. When have you known McDonald’s packaging spontaneously “pop off”. Utter bollocks.

        I’ll find the source for the extra thing- basically, she said to them that it needed to be hotter than usual because she had to travel with it.

      • Droid says :

        Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t coffee supposed to be hot? Unless it’s prefixed by “iced” I’m almost certain it is.

      • Droid says :

        Was anything about the cup faulty? Like, the lid comes off or something along those lines. Cause then I can see the issue, and the fault is the companies.

      • Jarv says :

        No.

        The stupid cow was driving with it between her legs. She squeezed, coffee came out and scalded her. Badly, actually, but she has to take at least half the blame for it.

      • Jarv says :

        Sorry, that wasn’t quite true. Yes, the lid could come off, because it was a takeaway McDonald’s cup and therefore designed to come off.

        Basically, she’s a moron that got away with it.

      • Droid says :

        I remember one story I heard about where a bloke tried to rob a house by breaking in through the skylight, fell, broke something or other and successfully sued the owners of the house.

      • Jarv says :

        Yup. Totally true.

        I’m waiting for this cunt to sue for emotional harm:

        There are a lot of urban myths out there on this note- like the guy that broke into this family’s house and got trapped in the garage for 3 weeks living on frozen OJ. They aren’t true for the most part.

        The one place that this shit is COMPLETELY out of control is regarding Sex/ Race discrimination and stress in the Workplace. This is always overpaid and usually horseshit. Because it’s usually done at a tribunal and not a court.

      • Droid says :

        I assumed that. I just meant faulty as in the lid is loose and comes off easily.

      • Droid says :

        It would be awesome if it was three weeks stuck in a garage living off cryogenically frozen OJ Simpson.

      • Jarv says :

        You’re a sick man.

      • Jarv says :

        Having looked it up, it’s actually even dumber than I remember. I was thinking of something else entirely.

        The plaintiffs were apparently able to document 700 cases of burns from McDonald’s coffee over 10 years, or 70 burns per year. But that doesn’t take into account how many cups are sold without incident. A McDonald’s consultant pointed out the 700 cases in 10 years represents just 1 injury per 24 million cups sold! For every injury, no matter how severe, 23,999,999 people managed to drink their coffee without any injury whatever. Isn’t that proof that the coffee is not “unreasonably dangerous”?

        Even in the eyes of an obviously sympathetic jury, Stella was judged to be 20 percent at fault — she did, after all, spill the coffee into her lap all by herself. The car was stopped, so she presumably was not bumped to cause the spill. Indeed she chose to hold the coffee cup between her knees instead of any number of safer locations as she opened it. Should she have taken more responsibility for her own actions?
        And…

        Here’s the Kicker: Coffee is supposed to be served in the range of 185 degrees! The National Coffee Association recommends coffee be brewed at “between 195-205 degrees Fahrenheit for optimal extraction” and drunk “immediately”. If not drunk immediately, it should be “maintained at 180-185 degrees Fahrenheit.” (Source: NCAUSA.) Exactly what, then, did McDonald’s do wrong? Did it exhibit “willful, wanton, reckless or malicious conduct” — the standard in New Mexico for awarding punitive damages?

        6% burns is nasty, but she was awarded $2.9m. TWO MILLION NINE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!

        Fuck it, I’m going to go and burn myself now.

        That documentary is horseshit, clearly- it’s totally one-sided left-wing bollocks. Did Michael Moore make it?

      • Jarv says :

        Christ on a bike, I don’t know how anyone can claim there aren’t frivolous lawsuits out there:

        Roy L. Pearson Jr. The 57-year-old Administrative Law Judge from Washington DC claims that a dry cleaner lost a pair of his pants, so he sued the mom-and-pop business for $65,462,500. That’s right: more than $65 million for one pair of pants. Representing himself, Judge Pearson cried in court over the loss of his pants, whining that there certainly isn’t a more compelling case in the District archives. But the Superior Court judge wasn’t moved: he called the case “vexatious litigation”, scolded Judge Pearson for his “bad faith”, and awarded damages to the dry cleaners. But Pearson didn’t take no for an answer: he’s appealing the decision. And he has plenty of time on his hands, since he was dismissed from his job. Last we heard, Pearson’s appeal is still pending.

      • Jarv says :

        And another genius:

        Allen Ray Heckard. Even though Heckard is 3 inches shorter, 25 pounds lighter, and 8 years older than former basketball star Michael Jordan, the Portland, Oregon, man says he looks a lot like Jordan, and is often confused for him — and thus he deserves $52 million “for defamation and permanent injury” — plus $364 million in “punitive damage for emotional pain and suffering”, plus the SAME amount from Nike co-founder Phil Knight, for a grand total of $832 million. He dropped the suit after Nike’s lawyers chatted with him, where they presumably explained how they’d counter-sue if he pressed on.

        Shit there are loads of these:

        Christopher Roller of Burnsville, Minn. Roller is mystified by professional magicians, so he sued David Blaine and David Copperfield to demand they reveal their secrets to him — or else pay him 10 percent of their lifelong earnings, which he figures amounts to $50 million for Copperfield and $2 million for Blaine. The basis for his suit: Roller claims that the magicians defy the laws of physics, and thus must be using “godly powers” — and since Roller is god (according to him), they’re “somehow” stealing that power from him.

        For Fuck’s sake:

        Mary Ubaudi of Madison County, Ill. Ubaudi was a passenger in a car that got into a wreck. She put most of the blame on the deepest pocket available: Mazda Motors, who made the car she was riding in. Ubaudi demands “in excess of $150,000” from the automaker, claiming it “failed to provide instructions regarding the safe and proper use of a seatbelt.” One hopes Mazda’s attorneys make her swear in court that she has never before worn a seatbelt, has never flown on an airliner, and that she’s too stupid to figure out how to fasten a seatbelt

        Anyway, you get the point.

      • Jarv says :

        This one, on the other hand, is really, really funny:

        Utah prison inmate Robert Paul Rice, serving 1-15 years on multiple felonies, sued the Utah Department of Corrections claiming the prison was not letting him practice his religion: “Druidic Vampire”. Rice claimed that to do that, he must be allowed sexual access to a “vampress”. In addition, the prison isn’t supplying his specific “vampiric dietary needs” (yes: blood). Records show that Rice registered as a Catholic when he was imprisoned in 2000

      • Jarv says :

        Pah.

        Gutted to find out this isn’t true:

        In November, Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32 foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having joined the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the Winnie left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the handbook that he could not actually do this. He was awarded $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago.

      • koutchboom says :

        Hehehe got a Karl Rove fan here, the movie wasn’t just about that incident. The point is McD’s makes over 2.9 million dollars an hour so its pretty much nothing for them. Its not like she just won the lottery, and if you saw how nasty the burns where you’d agree more with her. ALSO she wasn’t asking for money she was just asking for McD’s to pay her medical bills the jury awarder her that money, the judge took a lot of it away, then it was seattled out of court for an undisclosed amount.

        The doc covered the whole spectrum from big corporations paying millions of dollars to hire judges that rule in their favor under the rouse of some public interest group. How fucked up forced arbitration is, and yes how misconvieved the coffee spill case is. Also she was some sweet old lady, not just some welfare seeker, she had a job (even at 81 whatever) and everyting she didn’t need the money.

        This wasn’t some Michael Moore style doc, its actually pretty informative more then just finger pointing (well beyond Karl Rove). The brought up several cases, in one instance some guy got seriously injuryed and the company was clearly to blame but because of some Prop # vote that put a cap on seattlement $ he didnt’ even get enough to cover his medical fees he was all pissed, then he realized he voted for this prop to go through and was like “but this is for people with fake claims not me?”

        I will agree though the doc didn’t really cover the amount of frivolous law suits out there, more just about how states that put caps on compesation don’t see anything in the return. There was one case where a Dr. didn’t get to a pregent lady for 2 hours when she was rushed there and told she needed to be seen in 10 minutes, they even called ahead, and he had been found neglegent twice in the past and the jury awarded her 5 million something to take care of her now mentally handicapped son, BUT since that state had a cap it got brought down to something like 1.2 million dollars and because of that her son was now on medicad AND the tax payers were really paying for it, where as before the company would’ve just had to pay for it. THE whole thing the companys get behind is that they claim these caps and arbitrations HELP the hard working tax payers, when they really don’t.

      • Jarv says :

        I’m not a Karl Rove fan, Koutch. I just think that there’s lots and lots wrong with the legal system, particularly Tort.

        Seriously, you recycled that thing about 700 people suing McDonalds for the coffee being too hot- that’s one in 24 million. To try to pretend that she wasn’t frivolous was utter, utter bollocks.- and even were it not frivolous, to pay out nearly 3 million on it is absurd. Also, $3m may appear to be chickenfeed to McDonalds, but this shit opened the floodgates on them, and it was little at the time, but the precedent is set. I hate McDonalds, by the way.

        I’d personally flay all medical insurance companies in America for the way they abuse the legal system. Some of Mrs. Jarv’s relatives nearly went bankrupt in the 90’s because the insurance company refused to pay up for a fucking Bone Marrow transplant pretending it was “experimental”. It took them 7 years to chase the fuckers through the courts- and they used every dirty trick you mention above. Eventually, the bastards had to pay up,

        The reason States have had to cap damages is because of American Juries seeking to punitively stick it to the corporations. If people were only allowed to sue for what they’ve actually lost/ need then this shit would dry up. There was some lying whore who left a UK Investment bank at the age of 42 and sued. She was asking for something like £40m in loss of earnings because of discrimination. Eventually it was thrown out. Shit like this does more damage to the legal system than the corporations could ever dream of.

      • koutchboom says :

        700 people hadn’t sued McD’s before, just 700 cases of it, she was really the first one to sue them, just for them to take some responsibility in the matter, the lids where deemed to be shitty. The money was awarded to her she was just asking for medical bills to be covered, I mean thats a jury thats why its the greatest legeal system in the world. Also again 3 million dollars is fucking nothing to McDs, and the hassle and effort she had to go through to get that isn’t something thats going to happen all the time, and again the judge cut that down substantially and she seattled out of court. And even if she got 3 million how much of that had to pay for legeal fees? It gets to the point where companies spend MORE time and money defending their name than had they just paid her straight up. Thats the big thing about this case, that McD’s probably would’ve been better off just giving her 10 million shut the fuck up money from the get go.

        AND a lot of this is because of the medical insurance companies, they fund these programs to make the coffee spill lady look like a fraud and an abuser of the system because in the end it helps them get their way because it takes the power away from the people and gives it over to the companies.

        Seriously though go look up the pictures of her fucking burns and the skin grafts she needed, 3 million seems pretty much fine if not enough. Its fucking gross looking. Its funny because when they started talking about it and how her sons car she was sitting in didn’t have enough cup holders I’m surprised they didn’t go after them for that.

        I get that its an odd balance of whats frivously and whats not, but at the end of the day these corporations make billions over billions daily soooo who really gives a fuck/feels bad for McDs when they had to pay 3 million dollars to some poor old lady? Fuck them. And I doubt some crazy one off friviously case does any damage what so ever, beyond some corporation SPINNING it to show how terrible it is. I mean to pit some random ass crazy person claim next to this Karl Rove systematic TAKE over of the courts and say THATS more damaging??? EHHH corporations are fucking buying the judges so they always rule in their favor? That seems much more worse then some crazy ladies case getting thrown out of the court.

      • Jarv says :

        Yeah, I meant that 700 people have managed to hurt themselves.

        And seriously, Koutch- just think about it THREE MILLION is a shit load of moolah.

        The frivolous cases, actually, do do a lot of damage. They clog the legal system for one, and worse than that actual hurt the perception of legitimate cases. It isn’t like there’s one or two of them- there’s fucking hundreds. Mrs. Jarv used to work at an educational charity- they had to fire someone for being a paedo. He then tried to sue for wrongful dismissal. Pathetic and pointless.

        In the end, the real harm it does is the “safety first” approach adopted in society now as a point. Doesn’t matter that something never happened and the chances of it are extremely unlikely, but we’ve got a situation in the UK where kids aren’t allowed to play conkers without safety goggles in case some kid loses an eye and sues.

        It isn’t about protecting the corporations, it’s about the wider damage to society that this Personal Injury craze does.

      • koutchboom says :

        Bahahah I doubt frivoulous law suits cause no where near as much damaging/clogging as some giant corporation using a team of lawyers to stall courts and get giant pay outs. I mean corporations hold up shit in courts for YEARS just so they can get there way and in the intrim can cause much much worse problems then making kids wear safety goggles. Its just about them fucking over the common man, like the initial plea to McDs was for them just to pay $11,000 and they didn’t want to…sooo she fucking gets 3 million,

        The jury awarded Liebeck $200,000 in compensatory damages. The jury reduced this amount to $160,000 because they found Liebeck 20 percent at fault for spilling the coffee (not because she was driving a car). The jury also awarded Liebeck $2.7 million in punitive damages, which equals about two days of McDonald’s coffee sales. The trial court subsequently reduced the punitive award to $480,000, even though the judge called McDonald’s conduct reckless, callous and willful.

        Also McD’s lied about the 700 reported cases at first acting like they had never heard any. She’s more of a hero to me then just some dumb old lady, she was 81 still had a job and never missed a day of work. She just wanted to get some held with the medical bills and McDs just wanted to say fuck you, and in the end they probably spent MORE MONEY stopping her then they actual gave her.

      • koutchboom says :

        And sure people will always take advantage of the system thats true with everything but its never anywhere near as bad as some giant corporation taking adavantage of the system and they all do.

      • Jarv says :

        Bollocks Koutch-

        Think about it. I actually blame the lawyers and idiot judges for this. If the law had been applied properly, then the H&S culture would never have arisen.

        If you’re happy with a box-ticking Nanny state, then great. I’m not.

        And it isn’t the corporations to blame with that one. Fuck it, actually, I want to sue Hollywood for mental anguish due to the current quality of output and Jennifer Aniston’s continuing career.

      • koutchboom says :

        Whats bollocks specifically? Its like you agree with me…..but you don’t?

        Ehhhh thats bullshit about IT ISN’T the corporations fault, they back and fund judges that get them what they want. If the appointment of judges was more fair then I’d agree, but when certain judges are getting millions of dollars through some back door special interest group that allows them to not report it then its fucked and the corporations are to blame because they are paying to get their way.

        And what is a H&S culture? Or box-ticking Nanny state?

        I don’t get why its the judge and lawyers fault for being cases to trial? Thats our given right, its are only voice to fight back against big corporations, and NOW with stuff like mandatory arbitration we are losing that voice. So say I get a cell phone, turn it on and the thing fucking blows up in my hand BECAUSE of some fine print BS I can’t sue Vodaphone, I have to go to arbitration where the company hand picks an arbitrator and less than 10% of those cases find favor in the consumer.

        And see corporations where able to get that by manipulating things like the Coffee Spill case to make it look like some joke and getting the people just to agree with them on it.

      • koutchboom says :

        Also why would you ever side with big corporation? Don’t you remember this is what was the cause for the revolutionary war? Does your wife know how against her freedoms you are?

      • Jarv says :

        I’m not siding with them. I’m siding AGAINST greed, incompetence and stupidity. From everyone.

        This aspect of the law is fucked up beyond all recognition and the only people that really benefit are those parasite lawyers.

      • Jarv says :

        Ehhhh thats bullshit about IT ISN’T the corporations fault, they back and fund judges that get them what they want. If the appointment of judges was more fair then I’d agree, but when certain judges are getting millions of dollars through some back door special interest group that allows them to not report it then its fucked and the corporations are to blame because they are paying to get their way.

        That’s not the point. The situation with the Tort law getting completely out of hand (and even Lawyers admit it is) has nothing to do with the corporations. On a more serious level, such as pollution, or the inexplicable Insurance system in America, then fuck them- that’s their fault entirely. However, the Coffee Spill was an old bint who SPILLED FUCKING COFFEE ON HERSELF BECAUSE SHE WAS TOO INEPT TO PUT SUGAR IN IT IN A FUCKING PARKED CAR.

        That’s her fault, and she had no grounds to sue- you know that, because you looked at the same site I did- and it had that bit about the temperature. Do you think if it was some mom and pop coffee house without a pot to piss in she’d have done it? Course not.

        It’s greed, incompetence and now that the likes of McDonalds are using their considerable strength to fight back, corruption. It’s led to a climate of Health and Safety fear where people weren’t allowed to walk up a fucking hill at Wimbledon in case one of them slipped and fell and sued the All England tennis club. That’s not the corporations. Bleating like Alec Baldwin in Team America doesn’t make it less so.

      • koutchboom says :

        You don’t have all your facts straight about the coffee spill case. Negligence was found on both sides, McD’s obviously has the deeper pockets. All she initially wanted was for them to help cover some medical bills, and they told her to fuck off and die. Obviously there are issues with the type of cups McD’s uses. SINCE McD’s is a leader in hot coffee sales people will copy them, but instead of changing their shit after the 700 documented cases they just ignored it (who knows how many just said…ehhh fuck it it was my fault). I mean McD’s now has much better coffee cups. It was a JURY that awarded her some money, and 3 million after legeal fees of a case that size, probably wasn’t shit. See McD’s can handle 100’s of these 3rd degree burns A DAY with no problem, they make fucking a gazillion dollars every day. Yet they can’t just say….ehhh fine fuck it we’ll cover your medical fees??? Yes I get that its not up to them, but when a company makes THAT MUCH money then spends WAY MORE money defending itself rather then just paying her fucking medical bills? Thats just greed. Like it hurt McD’s 0, it pretty much ruined the rest of that ladies life.

        AND like I said, companies HAVE won, now its almost immpossible to bring a case like that to trial. The trial is more about getting companies to admit fault or take some blame or try to do better, when you just have these comapnies plowing through people just to make money some one needs to stand up and say ehhh hey your fucking everyone over here. And of course you’ve been spinned into belieiving that it was this dumb old ladies fault and McD’s isn’t to blame.

        The whole movie wasn’t just about this case it was probably the biggest case and lead to more seious issues with tort reform and how little grasp of the actual facts most people have on it and this case, and how corporations spun cases like that into their favor where they get to fuck everyone over and never get taken to court.

        They also brought up the case against Haliburton where some girl was drugged and gang raped, she said the company told her they would house her in a 2 room trailer that she would share with one girl, but instead she was house in some barrack like faclity with 400 men and she was the only women. BUT because of a binding small print in her contract she could never take the accused men to court because it said all matters against the company would be handled in arbitration. Senetor Al Frankin passed some law to get that shit stopped, thats the whole point of all this. Sure frivoulus cases clog the system, but its the point now where you can’t even have them which in turn seriously hinders American’s rights because now company and do what ever they fuck they want to.

      • Jarv says :

        1) An accident rate of 1 in 24 million does not suggest negligence. There is no issue with the cups.

        2) Why the fuck should they be liable because she poured a cup of hot coffee on herself?

        3) I know it was a jury. That’s why you’re confusing me by going on about buying Judges.

        4) 3 million was damages. McDonalds were ALSO liable for her legal fees. Because they lost, and that’s how the law works.

        5) It’s not almost impossible to bring a case to trial, In the onset of Caparo, it’s actually got easier.

        6) What the fuck has how much money McDonald’s makes got to do with helping some dipshit too inept to drink coffee- that wasn’t even that fucking hot.

        7) How the fuck is someone pouring hot coffee on themselves in a fucking parked car not to blame for pouring hot coffee on herself in a parked car?

        Basically, what I’m saying is that cretinous jury took a chance to stick it to the man, ignored the law to do so (and who really gives a fuck about McDonalds, they can afford it, C.F. What you’re saying, will be the rationale) and really, it shouldn’t have been allowed. It was an idiotic case, and it’s been rightly lambasted by anyone with half a brain. If you want to talk about McDonald’s being cunts, I can give you untold examples of them using greater resources to bully people when they’re ACTUALLY to blame. This is not one of them.

        I fucking detest McDonald’s, but I hate the Personal Injury ambulance chasing more.

      • Jarv says :

        She sued them because she is a fucking idiot. She burns HERSELF with the hot coffee, and she sues a company for that?

        And no fucking sob story in some blatantly biased load of left-wing horseshit documentary bleating about CORPORATIONS= BAAAAAAAD BAAAA! will change this fact.

        She’s a fucking moron, and should never have been given that money.

      • Jarv says :

        And I’m off to the pub

      • koutchboom says :

        Well I’m glad 3rd degree burns aren’t considered that hot anymore.

      • just pillow talk says :

        Holy shit Koutch, I’m siding with Jarv on this one.

        That example of the woman vs. McD’s represents everything that is wrong with our court system. She sued them because she is a fucking idiot. She burns HERSELF with the hot coffee, and she sues a company for that? Were they in the car with her? It would be one thing if you were actually in McD’s and they spilled it on you while bringing it to you, that’s a case. But in her own car? Fuck that. And that has nothing to do with being “for” corporations. That’s just being against stupid people.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well I’m glad you like pitting the lower classes against each other and defending a corporation. I guess a jury verdict doesn’t mean anything anymore.

      • just pillow talk says :

        It’s only a good jury verdict if you agree with it, eh Koutch?

        I am by no means defending corporations based upon this one incident that involves an idiot burning themself. You cannot paint us in broad strokes like that, and you know it.

        For the record, I think corporations are too big, have too much control and influence in general. And yet they cry foul if they are treated like “citizens” and need to be socially responsible. Which is bullshit in my opinion.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well here’s an example for you, a personal one.

        I used to work at Costco, and the loaders there have these open razor blade box cutters. They are suppose to be on them at all times. I worked in the bakery in the back. One day a lady came up to me and said her todler was playing with this and she didn’t know what it was but it didn’t look very safe. Its not its a fucking open razor blade.

        AND YOU FUCKING KNOW! If that kid had cut itself badly or worse, and she tried to sue costco then she’s all of the sudden just another “idiot burning themself” or “a mother who can’t look after her child”. Like who cares what she did, McD’s was found to be at fault, the lady had a clean ass record in the past, it wasn’t like she had been living life case to case suing corporations for a living, she had a fucking job at 81 years old and never missed a day of work until the burn. EVEN if it’s not McD’s fault just the idea that some giant company with THAT MUCH money couldn’t just come out and see that this was a valid claim from the begining, and yes it was their product that caused her the damage and just took some responsiblity and paid for her fucking medical bills, then we would’ve never heard of this? Its the fact that they have SOOOOOO much money, money they can blow on defending themselves rather then just being the bigger man from the get go.

        I would totally get some shitty mom and pop coffee shop having to go to court because they don’t have any money sure, but McD’s allowed this to escalate and then USED it against America for their benefit.

  14. koutchboom says :

    ALSO DROID!!!

    DO NOT LET ME FORGET TO SEE TREE OF LIFE SOMETIME THIS WEEK BEFORE FRIDAY!!!!!!

    • Droid says :

      Koutch, don’t forget to see Tree of Life before friday.

      • koutchboom says :

        THANKS! I always knew I could count on you!

        Like I realized something the other day I fucking love wandering boring Brad Pitt films sooooo Tree of Life is probably going to own my soul. I even like the ones people hate Seven Years/Meet Joe Black/Curious Buttons and so forth SOOO a wondering Bradly Pitt film that people love (Jesse James which I also thought was da bomb) will probably be amazing.

        Has it even gotten a release date there?

      • Droid says :

        I still have to see Jesse James. Got the blu about a month ago. The length of the film has put me off a couple of times, purely because it was after 10pm on a school night when I was choosing a movie.

        All the others you mentioned are shit.

        Tree of Life isn’t out here yet. It had some sort of distribution hold up. Not sure when its released.

      • koutchboom says :

        Heheh Jesse James was one of those I put on late at night and it held me all the way through. See my point exactly if I can really enjoy Seven Years/Joe Black/Curious Buttons then whats stopping me from taking of the world with Tree of Life?

        AND TO THAT NOTE….I should watch A River Runs Through It and Legend of Bart The Bear at some point in my life.

      • Droid says :

        Legend of the Fall is dreadful. Haven’t seen River.

        Yes, you should see Tree of Life. I can’t see why you wouldn’t.

      • Jarv says :

        River is overrated boring shit.

        Take a fucking pillow to that film.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well see at first with Tree of Life I was just like ehhhhhh its just one of those mastabatory films people love, and I’m not at all enamored by the power of Malick films. BUT after reading more about it, I do think he’s more of an interesting crazy man film maker which is cool but I still don’t feel any want to watch his older films even though I’ve got Thin Red and New World on the DVR, but reading more about his stuff like that link I put up last week how nuts he is makes him seem that much more fun, which is allowing me to better understand him and like him.

        THEN I got to thinking how people kept saying OHHH its boring and wondering and plodding and out there, and how SIMILAR things are said of other Bradley Pitt films that I’ve really fucking enjoyed and then it fucking clicked….the way you guys are for Kate Hudson films, thats how I am for long boring Bradley Pitt films. I just love them for whatever reason, probably his baby blues? I don’t know.

        AND the final straw to really get me interested was HOW fucking fast the WOM died down once the movie dropped beyond its festival run. ALL these cock sucking tweets about Malick this and Malick that and OHHH TREE OF LIFE IS GOING TO BE IN IMAX!!! Just typical hoping on the cool bandwagon that is the internets these days (yes I know you love Malick I’m not putting you with these people, I’m saying this because I’m sort of getting it now) and just like most typical internet movie hype fads people realized that they didn’t really give a shit and no one went and saw it and forgot about it, just like most festival hyped films. Yes I get that I’m a little contrarian in that sense, and HAD I NOT realized the BORING BRADLEY PITT film connection I would allow it, but it was just like something clicked in my head one day and I realized….I REALLLY want to see this fucking film because I’ll probably love it. Where as before I was like…ehhh I’ll catch it on cable some day, these fans are annoying.

      • Droid says :

        Well quit talking about it and see it! At least it’s out there. Who knows when the fuck it’s coming out here.

      • koutchboom says :

        You want me to seek my camcorder in for you? hehehehehe

        Yeah I hope its awesome I may see it after work. Its funny can’t get the wife interested…..yet SHE as well fucking loved Jesse James even though going in she was like OHHH whats this 3 hour bore fest you are forcing me to watch.

        Its always funny the films my wife skips out on, then later on is like OHHH I should’ve seen that. I’m about to unleash THE WAY BACK on her ass this week sometime and she’ll realized what she missed in theaters.

  15. Continentalop says :

    Yes, I’m an actual ninja.

    How did I ever miss the most awesomely bad AICN review ever, with the must ridiculous reviewer ever? That was like comedy gold.

  16. Droid says :

    Ebert (who liked the first and hated the second) gave T3 1 star..

    “Transformers 3” has long stretches involving careless and illogical assemblies of inelegant shots. One special effect happens, and the another special effect happens, and we are expected to be grateful that we have seen two special effects.

    • koutchboom says :

      Yeah but Ebert didn’t like Cars 1 but loved Cars 2?

      • Droid says :

        Hey, I’m not defending Ebert. Just pointing it out. At least he can articulate why he likes or dislikes a film. Unlike certain knob-slobbering dimwits at a certain tangerine coloured village.

      • Droid says :

        Anyway, as the second one proved, Trannyformers is critic proof.

      • koutchboom says :

        At least he can articulate

        Bahahah Droid you asshole, he has cancer you know the fucker can’t speak.

      • Droid says :

        ’twas why I used the term. Since I don’t exactly presribe to the notion of blatantly calling him things like “jawless fuck” as others tend to do, I gotta get the heartless digs in wherever I can.

      • koutchboom says :

        heheheheh good.

        I need to read his cars 2 review. Fuck should I see that tonight? Or Tree of Life?

      • Droid says :

        Tree of Life. Fuck Cars 2. And as much as I like Monsters Inc, fuck the prequel. And fuck Toy Story 4 as well.

        Incredibles 2 I’m cool with.

      • koutchboom says :

        You seen the MI4 trailer? Looks pretty solid….but I’m also getting a Die Hard 4.0 vibe from it.

      • Droid says :

        I haven’t. Looking forward to it though. Hopefully, Bird delivers. I want to like 2 and 3. 2 Has (a few) moments, but 3 is brought down by crap tv director framing and execution.

      • Droid says :

        I just had a look on youtube. They’re all taken down by Paramount. Guess I’ll have to wait for the official release of the trailer.

      • Droid says :

        I enjoyed DH4.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah I did as well, just saying that it sort of looked like it, visually speaking thats all. Its weird though MI has never really had its own look/feel with the changing directors and all. I kind of enjoy that though, where as at least the first 3 die hards visually look similar.

        I need to go back and watch MI1, I guess MI4 trailer does have a bit of MI1 feel and vibe to it. It looks like a blast.

      • Droid says :

        I read back when MI2 came out that The Cruiser was aiming for a bit of a different look and feel to each installment. Like before Woo signed up, he was trying to get Oliver Stone to direct it. How that would’ve turned out is anyones guess. Probably better than Woo’s version anyway.

      • koutchboom says :

        Hahah fuck that would’ve been cool. Yeah I dig that, MI is just a fun series. The thing that pissed me off in 3 was the lame breaking into the building scene. MAYBE they wanted to get away from that, but with how iconic it was in part one maybe it sort of seemed like something they needed to TOP each time and Cruiser didn’t want to do that with 3?

      • Bartleby says :

        Koutch, see Tree of Life. Love it hate it, I think you will kick yourself for missing it on the big screen.

        Cars 2 is a miss if you ask me. Want a 3D movie, see Transformers 3. Review coming shortly.

        But, SEE Tree of Life:
        http://popcultureninja.com/2011/06/12/tree-of-life-review-texas-and-beyond-the-infinite/

      • koutchboom says :

        I WILL I WILL! JUST MAKE SURE DROID REMINDS ME! Hehehehehe

        I’ll end up seeing Cars 2, man I’m not gonna lie, I THINK it looks like a blast….but I still watch cartoons. If I love it, its because I’m really a 5 year old.

        SPEAKING of cartoons you been able to catch the New Looney Toones show? I kind of love it, but I can’t decide if its just fucking terrible or what? I also really like the new MAD show. THEN again I also like the Looney Toones show where they made them super heroes, I think I just love seeing the looney toones characters on screen.

  17. just pillow talk says :

    Has anyone ever seen the documentary “What the Bleep do we know?” One of the guys at work is raving about it.

    • koutchboom says :

      Ehhh I tried to watch it, its just a bunch of smart people talking about smart things.

      • Droid says :

        You should watch a doco called Collapse. All it is, is one bloke sitting in a room talking, but bugger me is it fascinating. One man’s theories on the inevitable collapse of society. Riveting.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah I’ve seen that movie, its interesting. He was a little too on the crazy side, he had some good ideas….and fuck if I can remember them anymore. FUCK he had one really good point on how we are fucked.

      • Bartleby says :

        collapse might as well be the best horror movie of the last few years. There are some particularly hair-raising parts of it. Much of what he says is plausible.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah FUCK there was ONE point he brought up that really hit home with me, ALOT OF it reeked of crazy with some mild truths.

        OHHH yeah like telecoms, how when the world shits the bed these will be the first type of jobs to go. Or something like that.

      • Droid says :

        The scariest thing about it, was that the guy didn’t seem like a nutjob or a zealot, or like he was crusading for anything. He was just a normal bloke, someone you’d pass on the street and never give a second look to, who’d just thought all this stuff through to their natural conclusions. And I’ve no doubt he’s at least in the general vicinity of being right about a lot of it. The way he laughed off the ideas of alternate energy is particularly scary. Because that’s the seed of hope people cling to. Oil is ingrained in society. It means much more than petrol for cars. It’s the foundation for industry. We’ll be headed back to the dark ages in a hundred years and no ones come up with a viable solution. Scary.

      • koutchboom says :

        OHHH YEAH FUCK!!! THATS IT!

        How there will never be ENOUGH oil to replace/make ENOUGH replacements for the car. Yeah that was scary, sort of like how fucked we are with that.

  18. Continentalop says :

    Hey Bart, what is playing at the theaters that’s a must see right now? Going to a movie tonight & I don’t know what to pick.

    • koutchboom says :

      Panda 2 or Tree of Life.

    • Bartleby says :

      Tree of Life, Midnight in Paris, Super 8, Tree of Life, Trollhunter, Stakeland, Attack the Block, The Double Hour, Terri…

      Don’t know which ones are around you, but all those are worthy choices.

      • Droid says :

        AHEM!!! Trannyformers 3!?!?!?!?! I would especially like to hear Conti’s musings on it.

        BTW, any good?

      • Bartleby says :

        Droid, I think you will like it. I did enjoy it. It’s not as silly as either of the others for the most part, and when it is silly, for some reason I didnt mind it as much. For example, most ridiculous thing in new movie is Alan Tudyk’s Dutch sidekick, and he’s Tudyk so he almost makes it work.

        Dumb little robot humor is to extreme minimum. Ths time there are just wheelie and another one, and they are more like the gorgonites from Small Soldiers than something offensive. They even have a prettyy decent moment where they help in battle.

        The last hour is pretty much just as crazy for action as you have heard elsewhere.

        I feel dopey, but my favorite bit of the Transformers franchise is still probably that first hour of the first film where Shia learns his first car can talk to him.

      • koutchboom says :

        Hehehe did you talk to your car every day after that for like a month straight hoping it would answer you back?

      • Bartleby says :

        Yes, mostly just sweet nothings like ‘start you POS, it’s not your time…don’t go towards the light…DON’T!’

      • koutchboom says :

        HEhehe

        Hey so like did TF3 CAP off the series? Or was it clearly a set up for part 4?

      • Continentalop says :

        Droid, I don’t think Transformers 3 has even opened here yet.

        (Whew. Dodged a bullet).

      • Droid says :

        Are you sure you’re not busy tonight? Washing your hair or something? You could always take a raincheck and go tomorrow night!

      • koutchboom says :

        You don’t wanna go to the midnight show with all the Tranny Heads?

      • Continentalop says :

        Tell you what Droid, you agree to see Anthropophagus Man and I’ll go see TRANSFORMERS.

    • Bartleby says :

      Panda 2 is also great. Transformers is, well, Transformers. Loads better than the second, and best action of series by far.

  19. Continentalop says :

    Hey, Night of the Creeps is playing at the New Beverly this Saturday at Midnight. Might have to check it out; I’ve never seen it before.

  20. koutchboom says :

  21. Continentalop says :

    Saw MIDNIGHT IN PARIS tonight (just because it was playing when I showed up at the theater). Actually not a bad little film that definitely stuck a nerve with me. And the Louis Bunuel joke was awesome.

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      Who’s Louis Bunuel?

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Never mind I looked him up and that gave me one more reason to avoid ever seeing that movie.

      • Continentalop says :

        Typo. Luis Bunuel. Spanish surrealist filmmaker who made such films as Un chien andalou (famous for the eye and razor blade scene), L’Âge d’Or, Viridiana, Belle de Jour, and a bunch of other films.

        If you’re aware of his filmThe Exterminating Angel, you’ll think the joke in the movie is very funny.

      • Continentalop says :

        Some of Luis Bunuel’s films were kind of interesting. And I always thought he had an honesty that a lot of filmmakers didn’t. He wasn’t all about romanticizing the poor or avoiding cliches like the noble handicapped character. Especially during his Mexican phase.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        No matter how his name is spelled I didn’t know anything about him until I looked him up so that joke would have went right over my head much like the appeal of Woody Allen.

    • Continentalop says :

      Most of Woody Allen’s films are shit, especially his new ones. I think I really only like Bullets over Broadway and Match Point (and parts of Mighty Aphrodite) of the films he has made from 1990 on. Everything else was just painful. So I was surprised I liked this one as much as I did.

      He’s still a sick fuck thought….

  22. Continentalop says :

    Yackbacker just wrote the best review of Transformers 3.

    I hate Mike Bay and I absolutely love this movie
    by yackbacker
    Fuckin guy is a terrible terrible storyteller. He despises character, he cannot derive one honest emotion, but insists on trying in his own psychotic way. I think he actually hates “filmmakers” deep down, like those people that made 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY, CITIZEN KANE and THE GODFATHER are the true phonies of the craft. And yet he has mastered his asshole approach to movies, finally.

    DARK OF THE MOON is a retarded collection of robots, meat puppets and overacting. Rosie the Fembot is a piece of ass- a prop that will corrupt you and make you think that all women need to look like this and speak like Marlee Matlin. Plot? There’s no fucking plot! It’s eye porn- disposable, boner-inciting, hot, sexy and corrupt.

    This is the anti-film- the one that George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, James Cameron, Ridley Scott and so many other “greats” are too afraid to make. There’s not one sentimental string in this gorgeous face-fucking. This is the movie Bay was destined to make- the one he has been inching towards, despite a studio system holding him back. He has perfected the modern, failed approach to cinema. He went all the way- fuck you, Martin Campbell; GREEN LANTERN is a limp-wristed attempt at jaying off to a JC Penny brassiere ad. Eat my shit, John Favreau– without Robert Downey, Jr. your IRON MAN movies are uninspired, CG-laden versions of a cereal box. Take a flying leap, Sam Raimi– your chick-flick approach to SPIDER-MAN is a weak attempt at genuine storytelling. Roland Emmerich… kill yourself now.

    Bay has set out to seize the CGI era of movies by discarding all… fucking… conventions of what is generally regarded as respectable filmmaking.

    This is a movie that needs to be seen only once, because repeat viewing will only reveal further its many flaws. This is a $3,000/night hooker who knows how to get you off and knows when to leave when it’s all over.

    I’ll be dealing with my self-hate for a few days, that part of me that says “Don’t fucking fall for this shit, you know these TRANSFORMERS movies were a lost opportunity.” But let’s be clear, the first movie was a diverting mess, the second one was like stepping in dog shit every single day for a week, but this third film is a streamlined, unapologetic aggressive tit-fuck. It’s wrong, it’s something you never want your kids or parents to know you enjoy, but it’s honest about its intentions and doesn’t care anymore about trying to be something better.

    This is a movie about robots ripping the Earth and each other into pieces. Can this spectacle be topped? Not likely. Acting? Fuck you. Writing? No thanks. Action? Yes, yes… many times over.

    Optimus Prime is Bernie Goetz in this thing. Megatron is a crackhead without his pipe. Bumblebee is Bruce Lee from GAME OF DEATH. Sentinel Prime is… probably the worst part of the robots in this movie. I won’t spoil anything, but just don’t fucking think about him too much. Buzz Aldrin showed up for this. Nixon, Kennedy, Obama… they all got a piece of this cinematic ass. This movie is a perfect Mike Bay movie. It does what no other post-JURASSIC PARK movie has managed- it took the CGI technique and burned your house down with it, with your cats and family still inside. And it made you smile at the disaster.

    Fuck you, Mike Bay. Well fucking done.

    Best. Review. Ever.

    • Droid says :

      It does what no other post-JURASSIC PARK movie has managed- it took the CGI technique and burned your house down with it, with your cats and family still inside. And it made you smile at the disaster.

      hehe

      Funny.

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      That review has something I never have understood if you like something why do people feel the need to justify it? just like it. That review is funny though I’ll give Yack that.

      • Droid says :

        It’s trendy to hate on Overlord Bay movies because it’s easy to make a case for feeling superior to them. Douchenozzles tend to give you shit if you like them to give their small lives meaning.

        So people tend to justify themselves.

      • Jarv says :

        There’s a difference between justifying it and explaining why you like it.

      • just pillow talk says :

        Aw c’mon Droid, it has nothing to do with being ‘trendy’. His movies are generally painful to watch and get through.

      • Droid says :

        Pillows, I like Bays films. I firmly believe The Island is a genuinely excellent film. Ditto The Rock. Bad Boys 1 is fun, as is Transformers 1. Then there’s BB2, Pearl Harbor, Armageddon and TF2. Those are… not so good. Okay, on this evidence I’m 50/50.

        But the Overlord will reign supreme!

      • Jarv says :

        I’m less than that. I quite like The Rock, Bad Boys 1 is OK as is the Island, and I pretty much detest everything else of his I’ve seen.

      • just pillow talk says :

        I thought the Rock was okay, there’s enough there to make it worthwhile. Now, I’ve never seen The Island, which many people will point to as his best overall movie. It is in my queue, so maybe I’ll have to watch it one of these days.

        But the rest are tough to sit through. First of all, he makes them way too long for absolutely no reason. It’s not like he’s filling the non-action time with crucial plot or character development. Instead he gives us animal cracker scene, dog whizzing on robot leg, etc.

    • just pillow talk says :

      Funny review, but what’s even funnier is Massy vs. Goatfucker and Industrykiller in that thread.

      • Jarv says :

        I seriously have to sit here and point out how you gloss over EVERYTHING IN THE FUCKING FILM except for the action under the sick logic that “eh, it’s Michael Bay”? Fuck you dude, that’s not a film review, that’s you sitting around chatting with some idiot stoner friends. How about you actually take the time to explore or make some kind of case why, despite not working on literally any other level, Transformers get’s to skate by on imagery, imagery largely recycled but just more expensive looking. I don’t think you can without being a complete apologist about it. So take your licks and like it.

        Harsh.

      • Droid says :

        I think it’s a little different than being an “apologist”. It’s more about what you should expect from a Bay movie. He unashamably delivers a feature length string of big, noisy, special effect driven action scenes. His track record shows he doesn’t know much about developing character or story. And I don’t think he really cares about it. His purpose as a director is to deliver visceral thrills. And he usually does that pretty well for me. So criticising a Bay flick for it’s lack of character or story is redundant. That’s like criticising Jerry Seinfeld for telling “What is the deal?” jokes because you don’t find them funny. It’s what he does, he’s successful at it, and whinging about it won’t change it.

      • Jarv says :

        I’m not whinging.

        The thing is with Bay, I understand exactly what you’re saying, just that most of the time I find his action scenes tedious and irritating as well.

      • Jarv says :

        Also I don’t think you can totally divorce character from successful action scenes- a lot of the time I find that if I’m invested in a character then the scene is that much more exciting. One of the reasons TF1 failed for me is that I didn’t give a red fuck about a single character in it, aside from Shia who I disliked. (Leaving aside Turturro, Anderson etc who were a whole other league of suck)

        Therefore, when the big battle came around, I didn’t give a toss.

      • Jarv says :

        First of all, he makes them way too long for absolutely no reason. It’s not like he’s filling the non-action time with crucial plot or character development. Instead he gives us animal cracker scene, dog whizzing on robot leg, etc.

        This is a good point.

      • Droid says :

        So, what I’m trying to say is, I’m not apologising for liking Bay, because the reason I like Bay is for all the reasons people hate him. Empty spectacle.

      • Droid says :

        Firstly. I wasn’t saying you were whinging. I meant it in more of a general way.

        Secondly, like I said, I won’t defend Bay or apologise for liking him. I can completely understand how you might not like him. Animal crackers is quite possibly the worst scene in the history of cinema. It’s also in a film I didn’t particularly like.

        I agree his films are too long. It’s no coincidence that his three shortest films, The Rock, The Island and Bad Boys, are his shortest.

        When his films work, they’re a lot of fun. Even when I hated his movies, I was never bored. Pearl Harbor was such a miscalculation that I was too entertained by the trainwreck. TF2 has to be seen to be believed. These are bad films, and I will give them shit, but I do have a soft spot for them because they are so boneheaded.

      • Jarv says :

        Boredom is in the mind of the beholder and in Bay’s case because I’m so far from caring about anything, I find them actually boring for the most part.

      • Droid says :

        Fair enough. Although I think both the Rock and the island have more to them than just action scenes. And I liked the characters in BB and some of them in TF1.

        I get what you mean about character, but I also just like shit blowing up in an entertaining way sometimes. Consider Emmerich’s 2012 and how dull that is, compared to any of the times Bays destroyed cities.

      • Jarv says :

        Yes, me too. That’s why I said for the most part.

        The Rock, The Island and BB1 are much more enjoyable than the rest.

        Emmerich’s 2012 and 1000BC are both dull as ditchwater, terrible films, the pair of them.

      • Jarv says :

        Christ. I don’t know which one of those I want less.

        AvP on a par with TF1. Both better than AvP:rectum. Not seen TF2.

        On the whole, I think I’d like neither.

      • koutchboom says :

        Here’s a fun fact, even though people bitch and complain THAT sequels and franchise films are ruining this country….

        Adam Sandler has never made a sequel, and Roland Emmerich has never made a franchise film (yes two of his films turned into franchises but thats not his fault, well Stargate maybe a little) but Roland offers old school GIGANTIC style over the top film making and people bitch.

        Pretty much he should’ve fucking done the Avengers or Justice Leauge, he is gay enough to pull it off just right. Though…..he does lack in score tastes, his stuff is fine and would probably be better than anything Marvel will do (and possibly DC going off the Green Lantern half score).

      • Jarv says :

        Adam Sandler has never made a sequel,

        You know, I thought that can’t be true, but on reflection it probably is.

      • Droid says :

        I’ve decided I’m going to get you the Transformers double pack for your birthday. The other option is AvP double pack.

      • Droid says :

        I was entertained by 10000BC. It’s so stupid and goofy. He gets attacked by a giant ostrich for pete’s sake. I laughed a lot during that movie.

      • Droid says :

        Don’t make me get you both!

      • Jarv says :

        You know, what a hateful set of films that is.

      • Droid says :

        I wonder if a Watchmen/Sucker Punch double pack will be out by then… Hope so.

      • Jarv says :

        Fuck you.

        Cunt.

      • Jarv says :

        I think on the whole that I hate AvP more. I base this on that I have no real feelings for Transformers either way, yet I do care a lot about Alien.

      • Droid says :

        Cool. I’ll grab you the AvP pack then.

      • Jarv says :

        At the risk of repetition.

        Fuck you.

        Cunt.

      • Jarv says :

        I’m going to Stakeland tonight. Huzzah!

        Also, I’m going to watch Sucker Punch so I can write another “gets pissy at” extended rant.

      • Jarv says :

        You know what’s been conspicuous by its absence at Gingertown? A Stakeland review.

        They’re meant to be a geek site- they all claim to love horror. Mind you, Harry would probably claim to have been eating Tapioca out of a soiled jockstrap since the 80’s if there was a film of such in a futile attempt to give his incoherent burblings credibility that they don’t warrant.

      • Droid says :

        How rude!!! x 2!!!

        And here I am thoughtfully planning your birthday present and this is the abuse I get. Learn some manners!

      • Jarv says :

        No you aren’t.

        You’re busy planning yourself a little post “Lost Weekend” amusement at my expense.

  23. Jarv says :

    Man I’m fucking bored. And that fucking zorra is in today. In meetings and shit- she’s inevitably going to want to nag me about something when she gets out.

  24. just pillow talk says :

    The problem with Bay is that you have to wait too long and wade through tons of shit before you get to “shit blowing up”. I don’t think he knows how to make a tight action flick. I’m not even talking about serious character development. I just want to see action and some dude on a mission kicking ass.

    I give you Faster. Hell, even 12 Rounds is more entertaining than anything Bay puts out. Drive Angry more entertaining. Those are all below average films that are ten times more entertaining than what Bay has put out over the last decade for the most part.

  25. koutchboom says :

    Whats up fatty bum bums.

    • Jarv says :

      Not a lot.

      Bored as fuck today. I wonder what my boss wants here?

      • koutchboom says :

        Didn’t watch shit last night, saw a dog running around the neighborhood last night tried to catch it but then it looked like it lived at 1 of two houses to I figured it was theres. When we finished our rascal rolling workout out, we saw that the dog was still out this time much closer to the house, so we decided to go get it and see if it belonged to anyone.

        SOOOO we are sitting there trying to sneek up on it (luckily we’ve got the new wave of rascals and they are very quite) and we see the fucking thing plow HEAD FIRST into 2 brick mail boxes and 2 tire hubcaps (that are still on the car) and we realize that the poor thing is blind. So I’m not sure how to approach a blind dog, because I’m thinking its just gonna start tearing off nuts, but luckily the thing was very sweet when I finally hot a leash around it…..and it turns out IT HAS NO FUCKING EYEBALLS!!!!!!!!

        We took it around to a couple of houses and pretty much everyone had seen the dog running around all day and assumed it belonged to someone, so we took it home gave it a bath and some food. We were planning on letting it sleep outside all night but then it started storming so I brought him in at 5:30 in the AM (thats like 12PM British Standard) and the thing is sort of old and smells like old dog.

        SOOO yeah you ever seen a dog with no eyeballs?

      • Jarv says :

        What the fuck? That’s fucking horrible.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well we are hoping that he just got out in the storm yesterday morning, because there is no way a blind dog looking that fat and healthy lived that long on its own.

        BUT if some asshole has had him for THAT long and just fucking dumped him, then yeah thats fucked up. Leaving a dog WITH EYES I don’t agree with but at least theres some chance, a fucking NO EYEBALL dog just left on its own after you’ve cared for it that long? Thats totally fucked, I’m amazed it wasn’t hit by a car yesterday seeing that it was out ALL day. Also the thing is very very sweet.

      • Droid says :

        So it was abandoned? What are you going to do with it?

      • Jarv says :

        Eat it.

        Possibly in a bun.

        With mustard.

        And maybe onions.

      • Jarv says :

        I do like the idea of a stealth rascal though. I totally want one of those.

      • koutchboom says :

        SInce we found him around 8 and all the animal shelters close at 5, because usually animals don’t come out after 5? We’ll call around today and see if anyone has reported him missing. If not there is a no kill shelter near us and we will take him there, problem is that he’s a black lab looking dog and we’ve resuced one of those before and brought them there and they won’t take them because no one wants a black big dog because they are so plentiful. BUT seeing this dogs rare case I hope they’ll make an exception. We won’t give him to a kill shelter. Also we’ll check to see if he’s micro chipped, but seeing that theres no sign of ever having a coller I doubt he is.

        Here is a picture of him its sort of hard to tell that he has no eyeballs:

      • Jarv says :

        How old is he Koutch?

      • koutchboom says :

        I don’t know but he’s got grey hair, for his size I’m guessing 7 or 8. Just got a call, we’ve found the owners. My wife says it so sad just seeing him run into shit.

      • koutchboom says :

        JESUS now I just found out my dog fucking got out????

        FUCK.

      • koutchboom says :

        FUCK fucking asshole dog. Didn’t get very far.

      • Jarv says :

        What dog have you got?

      • koutchboom says :

        I got three a Parson Russell, Bichon and Sheppard Mix.

      • Jarv says :

        Bichon? Aren’t those Handbag dogs.

        Talking about which that Zorra (My Director) has left. She doesn’t seem pissed at me.

      • koutchboom says :

        Bichon’s I’ll have you know are the first circus performing dogs, and YES the king of France used to wear one around his neck in some sort of carrier. But thats besides the point. Thats my wifes dog anyway. He’s cool though.

      • Jarv says :

        Still, least you’ve found his owners so all’s well that ends well.

      • koutchboom says :

        Hopefully, whats always funny is how ungreatful people are about this. I’ve never gotten anymore than a oh thanks for finding a lost dog. Sometimes not even that I had one dog that I found just wondering got it, called the owners and they lived like 5 miles away they drove up and I came out and they put the dog in the car and drove off didn’t even say anything to me.

        One time two neighbors dogs got out while they were out of town and I told him about it and he called me a liar. Its fucking odd.

      • koutchboom says :

        OK wife just said that the lady was very very thankful so thats nice.

        Its weird how often this happens me. Maybe its cause I’m more of the sort of get a stray dog and find its owner rather than just ignore it.

      • Jarv says :

        That’s very nice of you. Good for your soul and all that.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well I mainly do it because I hope if my dogs ever got out someone would do the same for me.

      • Jarv says :

        Karma?

        Paying it forward.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah I guess, I know how good our dogs are though and they wouldn’t get that far because they are super friendly and well trained. The Bichon used to get out all the time and just sit at the front door like it was some game for him.

        Turns out the dog used to be a farm dog but was retired as it got older and then got glacoma so they had to get his eyes removed.

      • Jarv says :

        Should have taken up weed. It’s good for Glaucoma.

      • Bartleby says :

        keep him. name him blinky. get him his own rascal.

      • Jarv says :

        Stealth dog Rascal?

        Call him Deefer. (Say it out loud with Dog).

      • Droid says :

        I was just talking about dog names the other day with the missus, trying to think of the best double act names. She said she knew someone who called their dog Deefer.

      • Jarv says :

        Awesome.

        I used to know someone that took a three-legged dog from a shelter and called it Tripod.

      • just pillow talk says :

        When my dog has gotten out, he always barks to get let back into the yard (I have a fenced in yard in back). The boy got it too good to run away…

  26. Droid says :

    Just made the mistake of reading a bit of that TF3 TB at gingertown. Fuck me. That industrykiller cockgoblin is a shrill, annoying sack of half-digested vindaloo. Along with goatfucker bleating on in broken gibberish, this clearly reminds me why I don’t read anything on that site.

    • Jarv says :

      I was bored a couple of hours ago so flamed the animal molesting cunt.

      • Jarv says :

        I was particularly proud of this:

        I think Bay’s next movie should be a biopic:

        The simple tale of a Portuguese goatherd, who will never know the touch of a woman due to his severe physical deformities, non-existent personal hygiene and myriad personality failings.

        Growing lonely at the lack of human contact, he’s forced to turn to his wooly flock for love and affection. Yet tragedy strikes when his favourite pet dies of rectal haemorrhaging

        He could call it “Asimovlives: A life maligned”

  27. Droid says :

    Adam Sandler has never made a sequel

    No, he just remakes the same movie over and over slightly tweaking the formula each time.

    • Jarv says :

      Rob Schneider on the other hand has made loads of sequels.

      He’s, if this is possible, more of a cunt than Sandler.

      • Droid says :

        I actually don’t dislike Sandler that much. I’ve stopped watching his movies, but he doesn’t shit me.

        Rob Schneider on the other hand. He really shits me.

      • Jarv says :

        Two words:

        Little Nicky.

        I believe that this is enough to earn him a death warrant by itself, and that’s before you even take into account his other crimes.

      • koutchboom says :

        NAW I love Little Nickey, I realize its shit…but its at least 100% more ambitious than anything Judd Apatow has done since Freeks and Geeks.

      • Jarv says :

        Little Nicky blows and Sandler is so annoying in it. As for Reece Witherspoon….

      • Droid says :

        HA! I laughed at LN. For the wrong reasons, I admit. Sandler’s voice was so fucking wrong in that movie that I found it amusing. Crap film I admit.

      • Droid says :

        The first Sandler flick I found genuinely funny since Happy Gilmore or The Wedding Singer is Zohan. I laughed a lot during that movie. It’s the right amount of silly for me.

      • Jarv says :

        Not seen Zohan.

        I stopped watching Sandler films years ago.

      • Droid says :

        I suspect you wouldn’t like it.

  28. Bartleby says :

    Ok, here’s my Trannyformers review. I think I did ok with it:
    http://popcultureninja.com/2011/06/29/transformers-dark-of-the-moon-review-car-wreck/

  29. Droid says :

    Random query… Anyone (on earth) seen Fred Claus?

    • Bartleby says :

      yes, its terrible. don’t bother. makes the santa clause look like brilliance.

      • koutchboom says :

        I’ve always had a funny sort of Charlie Kaufman style movie involving Fred Clause and the director and Vince Vaugn.

  30. koutchboom says :

    Droid did you finish all of White Collar from last season? I’m really digging this season so far, the stakes seem much higher then FINDING THE BOX from last season.

    Also USA has a new show out that looks pretty good, its called Suits its about a lawyer and some slacker genius he hires to be another lawyer are something?

    • Droid says :

      Yeah I finished the second season. Enjoyable, albeit lightweight entertainment. Just as I have for the first two, I’ll wait until the end of the third season until I watch them. They’re easy to get through while I do other things.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah, they really are fun though. I don’t know what it is that makes them such breazy entertainment. But this season, it would be aswesome if they made it the last or something it could end epically the slow build of the cat and mouse between the two leads is very tense this season. MAYBE a little too much Mazzi so far, but his part makes sense but I actually don’t find their relationship as strong as I do his and Peter’s.

  31. Bartleby says :

    on another note, Larry Crowne is a flabby, too-sentimental basket of ‘who cares anymore?’. I guess that describes its director and star too.

    • koutchboom says :

      eh fuck that we only care about MONTE CARLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Droid says :

      I never even heard of that movie until two weeks ago. I have no idea what it’s about. Who directed it?

      • Bartleby says :

        crowne? Tom Hanks

      • Jarv says :

        I only heard about it this morning. Hanks is a fat hack.

        In other news: TF3 definitely sucks- the ad for it in the Evening Standard has a quote from Gingertown on it.

      • Bartleby says :

        naw. T3 doesnt suck. I dont think you will like it, and it isn’t worth raves, but it’s a fun summer movie. There’s something to be said for action sequences on the scale you see in this movie. You have to give them credit for that Chicago scene, and this one honestly has the least amount of embarrassing dumbassery on display. There’s not a single body fluid joke in the whole thing.

        I know that’s faint praise, but mostly I hear this from people: bad humor ruined it, fastforwarded to action scenes. So there’s an hour of full-on action here, uninterrupted, and no poop jokes. So, it’s on the right track.

        Oddly, though, it’s just too inhuman in its method. I think, retrospectively, the first one is my favorite of the 3. I rewatched it last night after LC, while I was writing T3 review and found it to be better than I remember.

        Jarv, check out my review, if you haven’t already. I try to put it in context.

      • koutchboom says :

        You see it in 3D? I’m gonna see it in Imax in like two weeks.

      • Bartleby says :

        Saw it in Imax and 3D. It’s the way to see it honestly. He’s made it specifically a part of the experience. And because this thing is mostly visceral, it does add to the experience. Its obviously not as good a movie as Avatar or HTTYD or something, but it makes good use of the technology. 3D almost always annoys me, but here it works, and I think its helped Bay slow down some of the motion in his movie, so two irritating things have become seemingly less so by being paired with one another.

      • Jarv says :

        I think you’re going to have an RE4 re-evaluation of it in about a year.

      • Droid says :

        I’m just going to see it in 2D. Not paying £17 (as much as my monthly cinema pass) to see it. I’ll save my yearly trip to IMAX for Tintin!!!

      • Jarv says :

        That’s Tin TIn.

        Fuck’s sake.

      • Droid says :

        Yes, yes, chuckles. You enjoy your tv movie about the adventures of the helpful dog while I’m getting my eyeballs fucked by the glory of TINTIN!!!

        Tintin FTW!!!

      • Bartleby says :

        you are all wrong. Tin-Tin. It’s like you don’t even try to speak American.

      • Droid says :

        No, if I was trying to speak american I’d put the phrase “super size me” at the end of every sentence.

      • Jarv says :

        Do you reckon Captain Cod calls him “Tinny” when he’s spooning him?

      • Bartleby says :

        I haven’t dismissed the problems. While the Imax/3D help it out, they don’t completely justify it. Also, here’s the thing with RE4, I was basically reviewing it as a technical exercise—which was wrong. With Bay, this movie is pretty much par for the course. For instance, there’s no good reason for Ebert to give this one a single star and the first 3 stars with the line that suggested he would have given it four if it had more robot characterization. They simply aren’t that different. The problem here is the same problem as every other time. FATHOUSE raves on something, and then an equal number of deluded people start taking the offensive with the opposite viewpoint. Bay is a mixed bag, has always been so. Not surprising that this is more of a middle-of-the-road experience. The difference is this time he makes you feel like you are watching something badass while it’s going on.

      • Droid says :

        I think it’s just T.

      • Jarv says :

        You know, I’d be far more interested in this film if they’d chosen to adapt Tintin in the Congo.

        As it is, well, meh.

      • koutchboom says :

        Isn’t it called DEAD BEHIND THE EYES?

      • Droid says :

        C’mon. You know they’re never going to adapt that. That’s a completely unrealistic criticism.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s not a criticism.

        More a musing. I was just thinking about Tintin stories that I’d like to see- and that one is number one mostly because of the kerfuffle.

      • Droid says :

        I meant complaint. It isn’t fair to complain that they didn’t make the one story that has been targeted for racism because it’s unrealistic.

      • koutchboom says :

        I just like they are coming right out and admitting that Tin Tin is gay with the whole unicorn thing.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s not even really a complaint.

        Basically, I was just pondering which story I’d like them to have gone with. Like starting the Bond films with Dr. No. I know it’s unrealistic, but if they’d gone with it, I’d be positively agog now to see how they got round the depiction of the natives.

        That’s all.

      • Droid says :

        This isn’t to say that I wouldn’t like to see Spielberg do a Tintin in the Congo movie. I would. But it’s not going to happen.

      • Droid says :

        I’d be far more interested in this film if they’d chosen to adapt Tintin in the Congo

        To me, this does sound like a complaint that they didn’t make the story you wanted to see. But anyhoo…

        Koutch, is Tom Cruises character gay in Legend? I haven’t seen it all, but from what I remember that movie has unicorns, fairies and a red bloke with a giant horn.

      • Jarv says :

        That’s not a complaint. I’m not uninterested or put off it at the moment. I just don’t really give a toss.

        Just that I’d be far more interested with the other one. Out of pure curiosity.

        No strong feelings at all, aside from maybe a residual dislike of Mo-Cap, about Tinners.

      • Jarv says :

        Blah.

        This has been a pretty terrible year for films. Pretty much nothing has grabbed my interest at all- well, not enough to get my ass to the cinema.

      • Jarv says :

        Obviously aside from Norwegian Wood and now Stakeland.

        And Priest, except I couldn’t find a non-3D screening. So refused to go.

        I wonder what else is coming that I may give a toss about.

      • koutchboom says :

        ehhhh maybe, he’s also like an nypmth or elf are some shit isn’t he? That movie does just scream of gay everything as well.

      • Droid says :

        Apart from The Muppets and Tintin, I’m not looking forward to anything really. MI4 a little.

      • Jarv says :

        MI4 is another one that’s on the “Blah” list.

        Like MI, Don’t like MI2, detest MI3.

        If Brad Bird wasn’t doing it, then I’d be missing it- and it’s a “fourth” and there are very few good 4’s.

      • Droid says :

        I wonder what else is coming that I may give a toss about.

        ‘Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chip-Wrecked’ obviously.

      • Jarv says :

        Bleurgh.

        Koutch is all over that.

        Are you not interested in Tree of Life? I’m passing on it, but I thought that was your big one.

      • koutchboom says :

        Sherlock 2.

      • Droid says :

        Didn’t think much of the first one, so Ill be seeing MI4 that day.

      • Droid says :

        Speaking of MI4, just watched the trailer. Looks good.

      • koutchboom says :

        I was surprised with how much fun the first one was.

      • Droid says :

        The Rum Diary in October as well. That will be good hopefully. Bruce Robinson… Hunter… Depp… and my favourite lesbian of course

      • Jarv says :

        According to imdb these are the UK releases that I’m interested in:

        Hobo with a Shotgun
        Cowboys and Zombies
        Rise of the Planet of the Apes
        Don’t be Afraid of the Dark
        Cowboys and Aliens
        Conan

        and that’s it.

        However: 6/01/2012 is:

        Machine Gun Preacher. Which I’m automatically interested in.

      • Jarv says :

        Off to cinema.

        Will write review later.

        Also, ToL is this week apparently.

      • Droid says :

        Yep, Tree of Life I’ll definitely see whenever the fuck it comes out here.

      • Droid says :

        Hobo with a Shotgun – I’ve had it for months. Haven’t been bothered to watch it.
        Cowboys and Zombies – Never heard of it.
        Rise of the Planet of the Apes – Yeah, I’m interested.
        Don’t be Afraid of the Dark – Meh
        Cowboys and Aliens – Looks shit.
        Conan – Will catch on dvd sometime down the road.

  32. Droid says :

    That’s FIVE positive TF3 reviews at gingertown.

    Seriously… WTF?

    • Bartleby says :

      not just positive, but extremely positive. Same with Mori. And Jarv is right, the reviews are written around the obviously dicey bits.

      These things are a bitch to write though because of their nature. You basically have to say ‘damn fine job blowing stuff up’

    • Jarv says :

      Just flamed goatfucker. I wasn’t even funny.

      That may be the most vicious post that I’ve ever done, and I wasn’t joking at all.

  33. Droid says :

    Our Nic…

    1983 – BMX Bandits Haven’t seen this since I was very young. She has huge hair in this.
    1983 – Bush Christmas
    1984 – The Wacky World of Wills & Burke
    1986 – Windrider
    1987 – Watch the Shadows Dance
    1987 – Bit Part, The
    1988 – Emerald City
    1989 – Dead Calm Great fucking movie. Her best.
    1990 – Days of Thunder Dumbhouse classic.
    1991 – Flirting
    1991 – Billy Bathgate
    1992 – Far and Away
    1993 – Malice
    1993 – My Life
    1995 – To Die For Pretty good, and she was good in it.
    1995 – Batman Forever Dreadful.
    1996 – The Portrait of a Lady
    1996 – The Leading Man
    1997 – The Peacemaker Remember thinking this was okay.
    1998 – Practical Magic Dreadful
    1999 – Eyes Wide Shut Disappointing
    2001 – Moulin Rouge! Dreadful
    2001 – The Others Meh
    2001 – Birthday Girl
    2002 – The Hours
    2003 – Dogville
    2003 – The Human Stain
    2003 – Cold Mountain Dreadful
    2004 – The Stepford Wives Dreadful
    2004 – Birth
    2005 – The Interpreter Dreadful
    2005 – Bewitched Dreadful
    2006 – Fur
    2006 – Happy Feet Meh
    2005 – God Grew Tired of Us
    2007 – The Invasion Dreadful
    2007 – Margot at the Wedding
    2007 – The Golden Compass Meh
    2008 – Australia Dreadful first half, okay second half.
    2009 – Nine
    2010 – Rabbit Hole
    2011 – Just Go With It
    2011 – Trespass
    2011 – Monte Carlo
    2012 – Hemingway & Gellhorn

    18 out of 45. Actually not as many as I thought.

    • Jarv says :

      1983 – BMX Bandits
      1983 – Bush Christmas
      1984 – The Wacky World of Wills & Burke
      1986 – Windrider
      1987 – Watch the Shadows Dance
      1987 – Bit Part, The
      1988 – Emerald City
      1989 – Dead Calm Great fucking movie. Her best.
      1990 – Days of Thunder Crap
      1991 – Flirting
      1991 – Billy Bathgate She gets her bush out. Other than that, can’t remember it at all.
      1992 – Far and Away Hideous. Cruise punches horse.
      1993 – Malice Good film this- Baldwin is excellent.
      1993 – My Life
      1995 – To Die For Pretty good, and she was good in it.
      1995 – Batman Forever Dreadful.
      1996 – The Portrait of a Lady
      1996 – The Leading Man
      1997 – The Peacemaker
      1998 – Practical Magic Dreadful
      1999 – Eyes Wide Shut Dreadful
      2001 – Moulin Rouge! Dreadful
      2001 – The Others Dreadful
      2001 – Birthday Girl
      2002 – The Hours
      2003 – Dogville
      2003 – The Human Stain
      2003 – Cold Mountain Dreadful
      2004 – The Stepford Wives Dreadful
      2004 – Birth
      2005 – The Interpreter
      2005 – Bewitched
      2006 – Fur
      2006 – Happy Feet
      2005 – God Grew Tired of Us
      2007 – The Invasion Dreadful
      2007 – Margot at the Wedding
      2007 – The Golden Compass
      2008 – Australia
      2010 – Rabbit Hole
      2011 – Just Go With It
      2011 – Trespass
      2011 – Monte Carlo
      2012 – Hemingway & Gellhorn

      14.

      She’s made some proper shit.

      • Jarv says :

        1998-2001 should have killed her career, by rights.

        4 films, all shit.

      • Droid says :

        But then she became the critical darling after putting on a rubber nose. That saved it.

      • Jarv says :

        To be fair, though. 89-95 were all passable to great films (that I’ve seen- flirting is bound to be crap).

        Couldn’t pay me to watch an Oscar Winning Nicole Kidman film about Lesbian Virginia fucking Woolf.

    • just pillow talk says :

      Wow, I’ve only see 9 of her movies from beginning to end. Out of those, I only liked Dead Calm, Malice, and The Peacemaker.

      I find it impossible to believe that Australia had anything good in it. Damn movie put me to sleep.

      It is a wonder she has made so many movies…boggles the mind really.

      • koutchboom says :

        I like Kidman, she’s got more screen presense then most actresses out there and she’s unique.

  34. Droid says :

    A huge sum of 1 internet for the person that can pick what action star is the “former elite agent”. It sounds like all his other movies.

    A former elite agent rescues a 12-year-old abducted Chinese girl and then must fight the Triads, Russian Mafia and high-level corrupt New York City politicians and police.

  35. Lord Bronco says :

    Monty Python reunites for 3-D biography of Graham Chapman: (great audio excerpt in audio)

    http://www.undercover.fm/news/15219-monty-python-reunite-for-3d-tribute-to-graham-chapman

  36. Lord Bronco says :

    Also, LeBouf banged Fox in a tryst, and now Harrison Ford has called him out for trashing Indiana Jones IV. T3: Dark Side Of Career-LOL

    Further, if I hadn’t mentioned already-Ray stevenson in Silly # musketeers remake with girl/man orlando Bloom. I probably did mention that already, but it’s still making me giggle.

  37. Lord Bronco says :

    Oh, and so i did Finally see the Beard’s Trailer for “War Horse” it actually looks fucking stupid, but I’m sure I won’t be all that bad.

    Think Lassie meets Artillery.

    SeaBiscuit meets the Ottoman Empire, or something.

    I’ve been reading a ton of stuff about Brits fighting in India just recently, so it’s not like I dislike war movies and stuff.

    There’s more news about News corp selling MySpace-the Final Cut pro X editor wars-bunch of friends financing and shooting movies, but that’s enough for now

  38. Droid says :

    Jesus. Finchers really bottomed out. He’s doing 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. In 3D.

  39. Frank Marmoset says :

    Today I attempt to become a healthier, happier, more productive person. Today I attempt to align myself with the will of society. Today I attempt to join the happy, smiling crowd and be one of them.

    Today I attempt to like Transformers!

    This will be achieved using the opposite of aversion therapy. So instead of, for example, electrocuting my testicles whenever I look at a picture of Matthew McConaughey with his shirt off to shock the gay away; I will be doing something pleasant every time something objectionable happens in either Transformers or Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen. Whenever any of these things appear onscreen – bad acting, asinine humour, implausible plot developments, incomprehensible action, racism, Shia LaBoeuf – I will be taking a bite of the world’s greatest sandwich (the triple cheese triple whammy), listening to a song from Rocket To Russia by the Ramones, or looking at a picture of Alison Brie in her underpants. Or, in the more extreme moments of discomfort, all three at once. This should, through the process of psychological transference, turn me into a Transformers fan.

    Goddammit, I like robots, I like action, I like stuff blowing up, I like attractive women, and I am sick and tired of not liking Transformers when I totally should.

    Fingers crossed, some time in the next couple of days I will ‘transform’ (geddit?) into a guy who thinks Transformers is super awesome and so on. Please wish me luck.

    • koutchboom says :

      DAMN! I thought you’d say TODAY I TRY WALKING!

    • just pillow talk says :

      That better be one tasty sandwich.

    • koutchboom says :

      Also I don’t see any attractive women in this new Transformers Movie, well besides the odd sex appeal of Marge Gunderson. The movies like Top Gun level’s gay.

      You guys noticed that? Ever since The Matrix the guys are always better looking then the girls in big budget films. There are a few exceptions though: Nic Cage Films, The Most recent Star Wars, Harry’s Potter (but that sort of became like a creepy thing until recent), DO also note that while Portman tops Whats His Fuck from Star Wars, she does not Top Thor.

    • tombando says :

      I suggest watching BOTH Armageddon (the extended director’s cut-TM) and Congo to get into the proper mood for this thing there Mr. Marmoset. Or, if you like, 22 episodes of Johnny Sokko. Whichever you prefer. It’s all good.

  40. koutchboom says :

    FUCKING FINALLY!!!! Conti/Droid/Jarv/LB/Frank/Kliopy/Frank/ECHO

    Rodeo: IV Hoe-Down from Four Dance Episodes from Rodeo

    THATS THE FUCKING NAME OF IT JESUS.

    • koutchboom says :

      Seriously CONTI click on that second link. It’ll turn that frown upside down. Well unless you’ve already seen it.

      • koutchboom says :

        HAS ANYONE WATCHED THOSE TRAILERS YET! FUCK get into it before fatty gets his grubby little hands all over it.

    • Bartleby says :

      Just putting them up on my site as we speak Koutch. Tinker Tailor looks awesome. Ever see the BBC Alec Guiness versions? Good stuff.

      • koutchboom says :

        No sir I have not. Did you see that the REMADE Prime Suspect?

        I PROBABLY wouldn’t have known that if I didn’t happen to somehow win the complete box set of the original show by just responding to what I THOUGHT was a question on twitter.

    • ThereWolf says :

      ‘Tinker Tailor’ looks pretty good. Very interested to see that one.

  41. Frank Marmoset says :

    Jesus Christ, Transformers 2 is two and a half hours long.

    On second thought, bollocks to the whole idea.

    • tombando says :

      You know you wanna see it Mr Marmoset, every single ever lovin’ explosive Bayhem minute. Search your feelings.

      • koutchboom says :

        Just make sure you have a spare inhaler due to all the camera movement will cause you short of breath.

    • ThereWolf says :

      I saw Trannyformers 2 on the IMAX. It was a trifle noisy. When I watched it on blu-ray I enjoyed it a lot more. With that in mind I shall wait for Part 3 to arrive on a small shiny disc.

  42. Frank Marmoset says :

    Maybe booze could help. Seems like the Transformers anti-aversion therapy would be more effective with booze.

    Booze + sandwiches + Ramones + Alison Brie in underpants = “Hey, I totally get the appeal now”

    I’m not a mathmatologist or anything, but that calculation seems pretty solid to me. Alternatively, I could always just hit myself in the head with a hammer.

    Transformers 3 is out soon and I want to be able to say stuff like, “LOL, what did you expect, Shakespeare?” with total conviction and sincerity.

    • just pillow talk says :

      If you drink enough adult beverages, perhaps you’ll pass out and miss about 2 hours. It’s the safest bet to making it through the movie.

  43. Continentalop says :

    This is now officially the movie I am most excited about seeing:

  44. koutchboom says :

    So my Blimey lot what say you about these two films:

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090852/

    and

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111275/

    I’ve seen one and remember enjoying it, can you guess which one I’ve seen?

  45. koutchboom says :

    This sounds interesting…

    http://twitchfilm.com/reviews/2010/08/post.php

    queue….SOUNDS LIKE AN EPISODE OF SUPERNATURAL IN 3…2…

  46. Lord Bronco says :

    Ah Speaking of casting Jack Reacher, one of my twitter friends may have suggested a winner, finally.

    This comes on the heels of me suggesting Titus Pullo/Ray Stephenson-who is in real life 6′ 5″ and who can act.

    I was immediately shot down owing to the fact that Stepphenson is 47 years old, hence far too old-yikes-they have a good point-especially since we are going to have to make 13 or so movies in the franchise.

    It was also incidentally pointed out that good Tom Cruiser, beyond being as short as Stallone-turns 49! on 7/3-By Xenu’s space underwear!

    This cool ex-navy gal, who gets a follow in perpetuity for this suggestion I believe has it nailed:

    Kevin Durand

    Height: 6′ 6″
    Weight: 240
    Age: 35
    Acting resume: Was in 3:10 to Yuma with, that’s right, Lord God Bale.

    Ding Ding Ding-we have a winner!

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