Burt Gummer’s Rec Room July 2011 Archive

A gathering place for firearms enthusiasts, paranoid survivalists and those who worship at the Church of Chang


It’s July! Historically the time when Britain’s despicable fat slags from some disgusting northern urban hell-hole  depart to annoy those in Southern Europe.  It’s fucking hot all the time in Perfection, though. Just as well the bunker is fully air-conditioned and we’ve a good supply of beer.

Disclaimer: This is the part of the Church that is the most no holds barred. None of it is intended with malice, and although it can on occasion seem a little bit fraught, it is banter rather than venom.

1,748 responses to “Burt Gummer’s Rec Room July 2011 Archive”

  1. Droid says :

    “I’ll never work without it again,” he said, referring to the 3D format. “It opens up the universe even for the small scenes.” – Ridley Scott


    “Fox has said the movie would be rated PG-13, typical for most summer action blockbusters. But Scott said that could change to an R rating.”

  2. Jarv says :

    Just popping in before I go to Lords again. Wasn’t the best day yesterday, to be honest, but still, today should be much better.

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      what’s that weird scifi looking building at one end of Lords?

    • Droid says :

      Fucking dismal display yesterday. How long are you guys going to keep making excuses for Pietersen?

      At least the weathers better today.

      • Jarv says :

        Dunno, that was fucking horrible to bat in. The ball was swinging round corners.

        Fuck knows what’s wrong with KP. Aside from the double ton in the ashes, he’s looking shot. He was all over the place yesterday. Fucking Trott outscored him, and quite significantly.

        Should be better today, hopefully Khan is out now.

        Oh, and Indian fans are the most dickish cricket fans around.

  3. just pillow talk says :

    Just watched the third HP flick, and it’s definitely the best so far. Nothing changed about that. I’ve only seen the next ones once, so I’d be very surprised if I hold them in a higher regard. But I did change my opinion of the second one, so I guess anything is possible.

    • koutchboom says :

      So you liked the second one? I’ve still yet to finish it. SO far I’d say 1 and 2 are pretty much the same.

      On Eberts show last week they showed his old review for Potter 3 and he said it wasn’t as good as 1 or 2. Heheheheheheh.

      • just pillow talk says :

        Yes, I thought the acting and story were much better in the second one, got through all that bullshit introduction and whatnot. I think the narrative was much better in Chamber, and the kids were much stronger.

        Oh, that wacky Ebert!

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah 2 I’ve always thought was solid, I really dig the first 3 potters its the next 5 that ruin it for me. We’ll see how they hold up, at the rate we aren’t going through them though we probably won’t catch the last one in theaters.

  4. koutchboom says :

    So stayed up heir uber alas late last night…well not really ended up sleeping from 7-9:30 then I was up till 4:30.

    Watched Summer Wars, VERY VERY strong Anime film one of the better ones. Its VERY VERY animie but it has a fucking heart. Reminded me a lot of A Taste of Tea a movie you all still need to see, but with more wacky Animie stuff in there. It showcases what truly great animie can bring to the table.

    The basic premise of the movie is imagine something like Twitter/Facebook was EVEN MORE IN CONTROL of your life, like you did your banking/shopping/vacation planning on there everything….and it was super hacked and some unstoppable monster started stealing everyone’s accounts. Some of the IN THE COMPUTER stuff you gotta take it for what it is and role with it, its never super over the top like say Digimon or Pokemon, but then there’s a whole family drama played out very nicely and all the animation is staggering stuff. It’s ALMOST Miyazaki ish, not as outlandish as his stuff but its close, I’d rank it up there with his shit.


    Ehhh it was a little fun, not as funny as I hoped it would be, I liked the effort. Reminded me more of those gross out 80s films like Street Trash more so than Grinidhouse movies, unless they are all one in the same. But movies like CHUD/Street Trash and thats all I’ve seen because those movies just get so nasty and hateful they aren’t really that much fun, not in say the Truma sense. I almost wished this had been more of a Truma film.

    There is some fun making of stuff, just fly on the wall shit which I love in behind the scenes features.

    • Droid says :

      I got Hobo about 4 or 5 months ago. But I heard it’s more unpleasant than amusing so I lost interest. Also, Machete sucking didn’t help.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah I’ve heard its more of the same from Machete I haven’t seen that. But yeah Hobo is pretty unpleasant. I did like the one former kid actor I’ve seen in some shit channeling Tom Psycho Cruise he was fun. But also if you’ve seen the trailer you’ve seen the movie pretty much. There is one pretty cool sequence in the hospital.

        I did it enjoy it more than those asian films like Machine Girl or Robogeshia or whatever it was called.

      • Droid says :

        Machete’s not unpleasant or anything. It’s actually quite funny for the first 20 minutes. The problem is, it’s a one joke movie, and it just repeats the joke over and over and over again. And that sucks.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well the Hobo with a shot gun joke doesn’t really get old it just isn’t that funny to begin with, the movie isn’t boring it’s just yeah you feel sort of dirty watching it.

        BUT it was cool to see the fly on the wall stuff because I’ve always wondered what its like on a set like that.

  5. koutchboom says :


  6. koutchboom says :

    Droid did you rent/Download/see in theaters Insidious? Just wondering. I’m fine with you hating it, horror movies like comedies are the most decisive I bought into it 100% you never got brought into the world.

    I just think over all the movie works much better in theater just because the sound system is going to be better then what you have at home or on your computer.

    • Droid says :

      Saw it at home.

      Like I said previously, the first half is bog average, but not shit. But the second half is a joke. “The Further” is embarrassing. Either do it properly, or, if you don’t have the money, don’t do it at all. DO NOT rent an empty warehouse and a smokemachine and expect to make a scary dream world.

      • koutchboom says :

        See I liked the further, had they gone to far with it, it just would’ve been silly. The darth maul’s creepy work room was nice, with a few nods to Freddy as well. For those that were buying the movie if they had gone over the top with the further it would’ve totally lost people for just being stupid. Keeping it tight and close like that was a smart choice, because they probably knew they weren’t going to be able to satisfy everyone’s idea of it and had they just made it this silly over the top thing it would’ve lost all tension. Plus the further is whatever you make it really, and Nightowl probably wanted it simple so he could find his son and get the fuck out.

      • Droid says :

        For me, at that point the movie lost all tension. It really dragged and I was quite bored.

        They shouldn’t have done The Further at all.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah it was a risk going into the further they had to know they were going to lose some of the audience with it. I’m glad they did though. But really what did you expect? Some Spawn like hell looking place? I mean its pretty much what I thought it would be from what they described. I just don’t get expecting this Dr. Parnassus style set up in the further, that would’ve made the movie just totally stupid. And still for less than a million bucks that movie looks fantastic further or not I couldn’t believe it was less than a million, same with Saw. James Wan is a wonder if budget man you gotta give him that. Name me one other less than a million dollar movie that looks/sounds/has as “famous” of a cast as Insidious.

      • koutchboom says :

        Here’s a question since you may or may not agree with this guy. The two people on AT THE MOVIES split on insidious and The Ward.

        The boy hated Insidious said it was lame, not scary not fun sloppy made by 12 year olds. Really liked The Ward, said it was inventive and well shot and had good classic horror elements, a master director doing what he does NOT best but pretty good.

        The girl liked Insidious said it was a lot of fun and a good scare, thought The Ward was silly badly acted and had a stupid script.

        HOW would you compare The Ward/Insidious which one did you like more….seeing as next to these two your the only person I know that’s seen The Ward, I bet John Carpenter hasn’t even seen it yet.

      • Droid says :

        You know what it needed (and obviously couldn’t have because of the budget)? A What Dreams May Come world, when that film goes dark. More of a surrealistic nightmare. The Further in Insidious was no better than a carnival haunted house.

      • Droid says :

        The Ward had moments of good Carpenter, but overall was made by a man collecting a paycheque. It’s occasionally effective, but not very good.

        Insidious overall is worse, because the second half sucks so much. The first half is probably slightly better than The Ward.

      • koutchboom says :

        God this what the Further needed to really soil the pants:

      • Droid says :


      • just pillow talk says :

        Lunch…meet floor.

    • tombando says :

      Ahhhh! a pic of the Former Exec Producer of John Carter of Mars getting into his Limo!!!!

  7. tombando says :

    You guys following the news from Oslo? bomb went off in the Prime Minister’s building, pretty bad.

    • Continentalop says :

      Yeah listening to the news about it right now. Just heard that a masked gunman open fire at a youth camp at the same time. Don’t know if they are connected.

    • Toadkillerdog says :

      I doubt the shooting is Al Qaeda, not their MO.
      Could be unrelated, and or copycat, meaning AlQ could be behind the bombing, but some other deranged idiot behind shooting.

  8. Toadkillerdog says :

    Cap gets a 4/4 Goddamn’s! On the Toadkiller scale

  9. Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

    Watched Cars 2 tonight (because Cap is not out yet over here grrrr!)

    2/4 I think. Some of the backgrounds and racing shots are actually jaw dropping stunning, but whenever Larry The Cunt is on screen, it just kills it dead. Throw in some poo and wee jokes and at times it terrible.

    But at times its brilliant. And has quite a high body, or is that chasis count of all things. Michael Caines character is a lot of fun, and John Turturros Italian F1 car is a joy.

    But its a mixed bag. Especially from Pixar. But man, it sure is purdy! Especially in 3D

    • koutchboom says :

      Yeah I had a blast with that movie some of the spy stuff was great, and the score was fun, some of those setting shots amazing.

      Go back and watch the first 20 minutes or so of CARS, its fucking fantastic, its is up there with some of the best stuff from pixar. Its some of the best racing scene I’ve ever seen. Just the way its cut with the music and plays out to introduce the characters, we rewatched it and like after 20 minutes we turned to each other and were both like……that was amazingly good.

  10. Droid says :

    Finished season 1 of Rome. Bloody good show. Season 2 can’t be acquired quick enough.

  11. tombando says :

    I still say xanadu) death proof. Search your feelings.

  12. Droid says :

    Amy Winehouse is dead. Can’t say I’m surprised.

  13. koutchboom says :



    • koutchboom says :

      FUCK!!! NEAL CAFREY’S GONNA BE A STAR NOW!!! I hope that movie is big because I like that guy.

      • koutchboom says :

        Ohhh hahah his whole role is given in the trailer…this thing is giving away the whole fucking movie. Bahahah Masterminds is in this thing as well.

  14. just pillow talk says :

    Sent ya an email Jarv..

    Frankie, decent enough Donnie Yen flick for ya: Legend of the Fist.

    • Jarv says :

      Got it Pillows. I’m sorting it at the moment. I’ve got Class of 1984 Scheduled to go up in about an hour, so I’ll schedule it for this evening.

      • Jarv says :

        Fuck me. I’ve got a great logo for this one. Mostly because this list really is a massacre.

      • Jarv says :

        Check this out:

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Pillow wrote something? NICE! I’m looking forward to that.

      • Jarv says :

        I’ve scheduled it for 3pm. Giving everything breathing room. I don’t want to do a fatland and post 9 things at the same time. Although I don’t mind if mine get squished, I’d still rather give everything a bit of space.

        Man, this Birthday Series is going to kill me. The next two films are both rotten, then there’s two good ones, then a load of shit.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        I’ve never heard of your next two films and one sounds like it’s pro IRA nonsense, according to your blurb, so you will go to the knives.

      • just pillow talk says :

        Hah! That’s perfect Jarv.
        Muchas gracias in advance for posting it and whatnot.
        I apologize in advance for my lack of writing skills. 🙂

        Deranged is next:

        DeWhen his overbearing mother dies, sociopathic Wisconsin farmer Ezra Cobb (Roberts Blossom) stuffs and preserves her corpse to keep him company. But when the novelty of this solution wears off, Ezra prowls for fresh ladies on which to practice his taxidermy. The results are some gruesome dinner parties in the Cobb household and other gory delights. Jeff Gillen and Alan Ormsby direct this horror film inspired by real-life serial killer Ed Gein.


  15. Toadkillerdog says :

    For everyone who said the ginger one writes like a cave man, here is possible reason

  16. tombando says :

    Oh I did go check out Captain America–Joe Johnston DIDN’T blow the landing by 26 miles, No no no no. In fact he stuck it hard and fast. I enjoyed it–it’s essentially Rocketeer w/ Shield-boy and Mr. Anderson as the Red Skull. Give it a whirl I think you will enjoy it highly.

    I intentionally avoided Green Lantern-Go Go Power Rangers!-didn’t catch Thor(but heard it was okay)-and half dozed off during the Xmen in June. So believe you me this is the one you wanna see if yer gonna go watch a comic-book guy type movie. It’s worth seeing.

    Harold’s write-up…ummm ‘write-up’ more like…of this is rather scary, I think he spooged harder Only at Godzilla and A Serbian Movie. So beware if you venture over to Fattie’s place to see what he thought. It’s reason 101 I warn folks away from the Texas Public School System.

  17. Lord Bronco says :

    Whoever left post of Harold, please fuck right off.

    Listen, I’m pushing 40 years old, but for fuck’s sake, I didn’t let myself get that bad….

    You are all cunts, and your films will be produced By Don Murphy.

  18. Lord Bronco says :

    Sorry, that was mean post, I love you all

    Here’s a little tune: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28_unHqjVp0

  19. Droid says :

    Weekend round-up…

    Gladiator… Enjoyable movie.

    In Her Shoes…. I actually quite liked this movie.

    Strangers on a Train… Never seen it before. Great stuff. Robert Walker is excellent.

    • Droid says :

      Just read that Robert Walker died a month after SoaT was released. Just 32. Damn.

    • Lord Bronco says :

      Breaking Bad.

      Fuck’s sake, it was good.

      I have to catch up on on True Blood, which has devolved into pedestrian trash.

    • Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

      Droid, I like In Her Shoes too (although thats not the most manly recommendation ever lol). Its good because its a Curtis Hanson film.

      I really like Hanson, and I wish he would make more films. LA Confidential, 8 Mile, The Wonder Boys, and In Her Shoes. The man can turn his hand to almost any genre. He did a good one about professional poker with Eric Bana and Drew Barrymore that was pretty good, but I dont think it got a proper release so died quietly.

      The mans a genius and should work more.

      • Droid says :

        Yup, I’m a big fan of Hanson. The River Wild is a decent thriller. Not sure if I’ve seen The Hand That Rocks The Cradle. If I have I can’t remember it.

        I love TWB and LA Confidential is up there with my all time fav’s. 8 Mile was pretty good, as was In Her Shoes. I’ve seen Lucky You, and I have to say that’s his weakest film. It’s not terrible, but it’s very ho-hum middle of the road for me.

        Very good director.

      • Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

        Lucky You! Yeah, thats it. I agree it is probably one of his weakest, but its actually one of the better poker films out there. Full of famous pro’s, and a real sense of the life of a grinder on the pro circuit. Average rom com though lol

        I forgot he did Cradle. Not seen that for years, but was a pretty good psychological thriller if I remember.

      • Droid says :

        The problem with films about poker, is that poker just isn’t very cinematic. You have to go a bit OTT, like Rounders with the eccentric villain to crank up the drama a bit. Plus there really wasn’t a huge amount of poker in Rounders. The films just punctuated by poker scenes that set up situations for conflict, and nudge the story along. In Lucky You, it was, as you say, all that grinding style poker so it especially wasn’t cinematic. And there’s quite a lot of it. And the romance wasn’t very interesting. It got by on a couple of professional performances (particularly Duvall), and some fairly decent pacing by Hanson. It didn’t outlast it’s welcome. But I doubt I’d ever want to watch it again.

      • just pillow talk says :

        Or have one of the players get posioned. Or have Eva Green wear a really sexy dress and watch the poker game.

        In Her Shoes I can’t remember for the life of me, even though I know I saw it.
        Lucky You was okay.

        LA Confidential is awesome.

      • Continentalop says :

        If you like Curtis Hanson, Tigh, you really should check out an 80’s flick he did called Bedroom Window. Very good Hitchcockian thriller starring Steve Guttenberg no less.

        Hanson was a hell of a screenwriter, penning White Dog and The Silent Partner, I believe.

      • Jarv says :

        That is a good film. Crikey, haven’t thought about that for ages.

  20. Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

    Watched Drive Angry yesterday.

    What a great film! Classic B movie goodness.

    Honestly, I enjoyed this more than just about anything I’ve seen recently. I guess it didn’t try too hard to be something its not. Just OTT fun, voilence, sex, and fast cars.

    And what a find Amber Heard is. A fox (even I can see that!), and actually pretty charismatic in the roles too. I’d watch her in anything I think.

    William Finchner is a god, and was having so much fun with it.

    Four fists out of five!

  21. Lord Bronco says :

    Ok There’s this whole Club 27 nonsense of musician’s killing themselves Y27.

    Uhhhh…Amy Winehouse.

    I still remember turning 28 and a couple years later quittin’ music entirely.

    Musician’s are fucking stupid, and their scenes and clubs can kiss my ass.

    Fuck ’em.

  22. just pillow talk says :

    My Potter trek continues…

    Watched Goblet of Fire last night, and…honestly, I liked the first quarter of the movie, but any sort of momentum that was built up gets screeched to a halt by that awful inclusion of the dance and romantic angst. Maybe because of that, but the kids weren’t as kid performance wise in this one, compared to the previous one, or even the second. If I remember correctly, this was the longest book up until this point, and that is part of the problem I think. The filmmakers didn’t know what to avoid from the books, and picked bits and pieces of too many things instead of making their movies more streamlined.

  23. just pillow talk says :

    So it appears the new Spiderman will be the wise cracking one from the comics, but the Lizard is going to be all CGI’d/hulked out. Why not just make him from the comics, where he wasn’t hulked out, but still faster and stronger than Spidey? Is it really that hard?

  24. just pillow talk says :

    My take on the 1st test:

    KP had some of the best innings ever…

    The wicket was flat…

    The bowlers really stuck to it…

    Winning by 196 fucking runs!

    Way to go James Anderson!

  25. Lord Bronco says :

    True Blood Recap-It was fucking embarrassing to watch. For Xi and ToadKillerDog–it officially deployed to Jumpsharkistan.

    And it’s not because I’m a fan of the books, but they (Alan Ball) are improvising with nary a clue and just putting gratuitous gay scenes and crap and I finally realized I fucking hate every character in the whole dang series all of a sudden…

    Moving along, hidden nugget of gold: “Finding Bigfoot”. American series in first season: Best mockumentary since “Spinal Tap” or “Best in Show”.

    It’s just…dumber than a box of rocks. It makes Ghost Hunters look like a documentary about Einstein writing his codex.

  26. M. Blitz says :

    Hi peepers. Long time no nothing!

    How’s everybody been doing?

  27. M. Blitz says :

    Awww….empty rec room. Guess I shoulda called first, instead of dropping by like i got no upbringin’. 🙂

  28. Jarv says :

    Cal review scheduled for tomorrow AM.

    Needless to say, it’s not exactly glowing.

  29. just pillow talk says :

    Jarv, next review sent to you.

    I can’t believe I have 36 more of these fuckers to get through.

  30. Xiphos0311 says :

    Blitz good to see you’ve raised.

  31. Droid says :


    This is completely impractical, but I want it nonetheless!!!

    F&F Box Set

  32. Jarv says :

    Pillows next nightmare scheduled for roughly 2.40 (because I’m lazy and couldn’t be arsed to type in the whole scheduling.)

    I’ve read it, and, fuck me. I’m worried about his sanity. This series could break him if it doesn’t improve quick smart.

    • Droid says :

      You can’t break something that is already broken.

      • Jarv says :

        He’s got Shampoo next, which is slight but at least it is actually entertaining. I think it may well be one of the best films on his list as well.

      • Jarv says :

        I’m still struggling to find 1992’s. HELP!

        I’ve downloaded about 4 different ones now, and they’re all fucked in some way or another. This is infuriating.

        On the plus side, I think this series has been some of my best writing to date.

      • Droid says :

        I’ve got that at home to watch along with a number of older Beatty flicks. Need to watch some more Beatty stuff.

        Anyway, his first film featured a tiger in a hat! No film can be terrible that features a tiger in a hat!

      • Jarv says :

        Depends, I think there was too much “comedy” and not enough tiger in hat.

      • Droid says :

        What’s 1992?

      • Jarv says :

        Christopher Columbus: The DIscovery.

        The problem is that the only viable alternative is Alien3 and I’ve already done that.

      • Jarv says :

        I’ve also got to watch Dirty Dancing. As I still haven’t rewatched it because I hate it so much.

      • Droid says :

        Aah, but a little tiger in a hat goes a long way.

        I’ll look for your movie tonight if I remember.

      • Jarv says :

        Cheers. I’m trying to rattle off as many as I can this week- if I get far enough ahead, I should be able to do the one a day.

      • Jarv says :

        I’ve got another few days. If I haven’t managed it by then, Australia released White Sands on the 20th August. I’d rather do Columbus though because I’ve got a prepared rant about the idiocy of releasing two identical films in the same year and how often Hollywood did that.

      • Droid says :

        hmmm… Should I be nice to Jarv? Or should I make him review Cristóbal Colón The Discovery…. Because I have something much better…

      • Droid says :

        White Sands is a great film. But no, I’ve got a legit one for you…

      • Jarv says :

        I looked in WIkipedia, on that site Col had (Alien 3 and something I’ve never heard of) and on the numbers, and the alternatives on the Numbers are Rapid Fire (which is ok but only really notable for Brandon Lee), The Gun in Betty Lou’s Handbag (even harder to find), and Storyville.

      • Jarv says :

        Also, I want to do White Sands for an Underrated. It’s a waste doing it in this series.

      • Droid says :

        Rapid Fire FTW!!!

      • Jarv says :

        You beat me to it.

        Still, I’ve a few days left before it gets to the substitution stage.

      • just pillow talk says :

        How very rude.

      • just pillow talk says :

        If you do Rapid Fire, that’s definitely the easy way out.

        Unleash the rant!

      • Spud McSpud says :

        CRITTERS 4 was August 20, 1992, but I believe (IIRC) that you already did that.


  33. Droid says :

    Rapid Fire
    21st August 1992
    20th Century Fox

    Rapid Fire

  34. Droid says :

    BTW, still on for Saturday?

    • Jarv says :

      Absolutely. Where do you fancy meeting and what time?

      I’ve been thinking about it, and I can think of a few boozers that will have the match on that aren’t called Walkabout. None of them are very good (and one’s the Enterprise).

      I’m thoroughly enjoying my time off.

      • Jarv says :


        Off to play some Red Dead Redemption. The multiplayer thing on it is fucking BRILLIANT, and opens up a whole load of new missions and whatnot. Although I do keep getting slaughtered by the mexican army in one of them.

      • Jarv says :

        Teenwolf Scheduled for tomorrow morning.

        I’ll write RSG this afternoon, I think. That means I can knock off Dirty Dancing, (yuck) and Married to the Mob (yuck) tomorrow.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        How about the Winchester?

      • Jarv says :

        Doesn’t have a TV any more. If you mean the one in St. John’s Wood.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        You’re losing to the Mexican army? how in the hell is that even possible?

      • Droid says :

        I was thinking around 12ish.

        No Walkie? Booooooooo!!!! hehe

        Depends where we meet really. And if we want to stay in the one pub for the whole afternoon. We could start somewhere and wander up as the arvo progresses. Stopping in at a few different pubs.

      • Jarv says :

        That’s a good idea.

        Let me have a think where is likely to have it in Central London. I’m wondering about Upper Street, but I can’t think if any pub on that will be showing it (aside from that horrible student one near the doctors)

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        No I meant the one from Shaun of the Dead.

      • Jarv says :

        Definitely doesn’t have a telly. It does have a gun, though.

        Which works.

  35. Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

    I miss young Jackie Chan

  36. koutchboom says :

    Anyone seen/heard of the new show Alphas? It’s pretty fun sort of what Heroes could’ve been.

  37. Droid says :

    You know how I know you’re a nerd?

    You want anything on this list.


    • Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

      A Dexter doll? WFT?

      However, face-melting nazi could live in my room, at a push

      • Droid says :

        Maybe it’s just me, but I never really played with action figures that much. And I was about 6 when I outgrew my minimum interest in it. So I can’t really understand why full-grown people (I hesitate on calling them “adults”) collect dolls.

      • Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

        Me neither, Droid. Never played with them. I was more a cars and lego kid.

        Quite why someone would buy plastic figures of characters from films I will never know.

        I do have a couple of film posters, and yes….. I have the One Ring, but thats an actual ring, not a plaggy doll.

        I almost bought a map of the Twelve Colonies, but I cannot bring myself to pay the $50 postage!!!! for a $12 poster!

        Yanks, your postal system is really, really shit! Sorry, it is. At least for overseas. Expensive and slow. If I posted something to you at standard overseas rate, it would be with you in a week or less for maybe less than $10.

        I once bought some books from US, after 6 weeks I reported them missing and demanded new ones. Three weeks later, two sets of books turn up.

      • just pillow talk says :

        You just wait Tigh, until our post office decides to only deliver mail 3 days a week due to budget constraints! That nine weeks it took for you to get those books will seem like a DREAM!


    • tombando says :

      Do they have the ‘Puking Minor-Jeff Doll, Bolling Boxing’ edition? Or the Portuguese Goat-slut Figure, complete w/ Spock-ear add-ons? Those would fetch a nice price if you Ebayed ’em.

  38. tombando says :

    I see that G.D. Spradline died-you know, the corrupted senator from ‘Godfather Two’? I always remember him as the ditto redneck sheriff in ‘Tank’ from 1984 (sad I know…), w/ James Garner and C.Thomas Howell. Def. a funnish movie if you get a chance to see it, nothing special but it is what it is. You also can see what it’d look like if Mrs. Partridge was married to Rockford.

    Anyways Spradlin’s pretty okay in that one and made some fine appearances onscreen during his time. Check him out on the google if you aren’t sure who I meant. He was 90.

    Had a vague R. Lee Ermey by way of Ross Perot quality about him.

    • Toadkillerdog says :

      He was a damn fine character actor. Had that deep, southern articulate way of speaking that was perfect for the roles he played.
      One of my favorites was the CIA director in Wrong is Right, and vastly under appreciated, extremely funny dark humor satire starring Connery.

    • Continentalop says :

      Yeah, real good character actor. I loved him in Apocalypse Now. The last thing I remember him being in is Ed Wood (where he did a real good straight man part).

      Another character actor I like is Donald Moffat. Is he still alive?

  39. Jarv says :

    Christopher Columbus: The Discovery is ON People. I’ve got it.

    That’s going to be fun for everyone that isn’t me.

  40. Continentalop says :

    Trailer for HAYWIRE:


  41. Jarv says :

    The new Rise of The Planet Of The Apes Trailer is fucking superb.

    I really really have to see this now.

    • Droid says :

      Um, which one? The one with Lithgow? There’s been loads. The last new one I saw was a few weeks ago at least.

      It does look good though. But I much prefer the original title, “Caesar and The Hendersons”.

      • Jarv says :

        The one this morning. Dunno which it is, but it’s more monkey than anything else.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s a Caeser one. Extended version if the one that’s on all the time

      • Droid says :

        Big plans for today, then?

        Fuck me I need a break. Got Mon/Tues off next week. Booked my flights for Spain and Morocco. You can probably answer this. We are going to do a small loop in sth spain. Start in Seville, taking in Cordoba, Granada and Malaga before getting the ferry to Morocco and the overnight train to Marrakech. Do you know anything of the three destinations after Seville? And if so, which is better? Just trying to work out if any of them require/deserve an extra day or two over the others.

      • Jarv says :

        Yes, funnily enough.

        Malaga is a tourist trap. It’s basically costa del chav land. That’s the one that definitely does NOT deserve another day. On the other hand, Granada is spectacular, (albeit hot and dusty) and has a lot of Spain’s moorish architecture, and some simply stunning views- apparently Bill Clinton said it was the greatest thing he’d ever seen. But he would say something like that. Granada is meant to be spectacular and worth the time. No idea about Cordoba.

        Today I have to watch the rest of Dirty Dancing. And I’m nursing a hangover, so that will go well. I’m also going to put a proper divot in this series and watch Married to the Mob, Millenium and Darkman as well. I’ll try to write the reviews, as I need to be miles ahead before my Sisters wedding next week. Also, I watched Nude Nuns with Big Guns yesterday. So close to being good, but just far too rapey. Me and a mate actually ended up fast forwarding it.

      • Droid says :

        Cool. The missus was told the same thing about Granada. Looks like that’s the winner.

        You’ve got Darkman on your list? I watched that earlier this year. It’s clunky, but lots of fun.

      • Jarv says :

        Yup. 1990 is Darkman. Which stands out like a beacon against the shite preceeding it. (I’ve changed my mind about Millenium- one funny gay robot does not a good film make). Luckily for me, I’ve not seen Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man, then it’s Christopher Columbus (I have it now) before a stunning run of HARD TARGET (FTW!!!), Natural Born Killers, Desperado, Freeway, Blade and Mimic. Nary a bad movie amongst that lot and a few legitimately superb ones (some epic dumbhouse as well- Hard Target and Desperado)

        I’d best make the most of it, because that takes me up to the horror of 1999-2008.

      • Droid says :

        That is a very, very good run. The 90’s were kind to you. They were mostly kind to me as well. Nothing hateful that I can recall.

      • Jarv says :

        I’ve come to the conclusion that the 90’s is a totally underrated decade.

        Pity about the horror of the 21st Century.

      • Droid says :

        Yep. It sure was.

      • Jarv says :

        Having said that, some poor bastard has this to review:

        2000 – The Beach
        1999 – Blast from the Past.
        1998 – Sphere
        1997 – That Darn Cat
        1996 – Mr. Wrong
        1995 – Heavyweights
        1994 – Blank Check
        1993 – The Temp
        1992 – Wayne’s World
        1991 – Silence of the Lambs
        1990 – Revenge

        1993 onwards is fucking terrible. The Temp is a shitty fatal attraction revenge thriller, TDC is a piss poor remake of a Disney Classic, notable only for Christina Ricci, Mr. Wrong and Sphere (in particular) are diabolically bad.

      • Droid says :

        2000 – The Beach (2/3rds good, 1/3 shit)
        1999 – Blast from the Past (I like this movie)
        1998 – Sphere (Shit)
        1997 – That Darn Cat (Unseen)
        1996 – Mr. Wrong (Unseen)
        1995 – Heavyweights (Unseen)
        1994 – Blank Check (Unseen)
        1993 – The Temp (Unseen)
        1992 – Wayne’s World (Great)
        1991 – Silence of the Lambs (Absolutely fucking brilliant)
        1990 – Revenge (Unseen)

        He deserves it though.

      • Jarv says :

        I like Blast from the Past. Hate the Beach.

        Of that list, I’d say that only BftP, WW, and Silence are any good. The rest could well induce tears in even the hardiest soul.

      • Jarv says :

        Off to kill some Space Bugs. See you later.

      • just pillow talk says :

        There’s no need to throw that list up there, really no need at all.

        Hey Droid, since I’m such an outstanding young chap, I just can’t see where these jabs at me are coming from. I’ve tried to be quite respectful here on these boards, treating everyone’s opinions with dignity. It’s quite hurtful, and really disturbing that you attack me like this.

        P.S. You are a dirty, dirty bastard.

  42. Droid says :

    Last night I watched the original Burton Batman. I haven’t watched it since the 90’s. It’s quite interesting actually. Maybe it’s got to do with the “Jack Nicholson factor” of changing the focus of the movie when you cast a big star, but the film seems to keep it’s distance from the Batman. It observes him through the eyes of others, like Vicki Vale and Alexander Knox. Batman is as big a mystery to us as to them. And along with Michael Keaton’s performance, Burton portrays Batman as a startlingly disturbed individual, more psychotic than heroic. I liked it a lot more than I remember. Batman Returns is next.

    • Droid says :

      Also, the score is fucking awesome.

      • Droid says :

        Things I learnt during the making of…

        – They were trying to shoehorn Robin in. He was the screenplay until late in pre-production (the dvd has storyboard sequence of his introduction).
        – Amongst the many actors the studio preferred to Keaton, was Bill Murray.
        – Jack got a bunch of shit, including the ending, re-written.
        – It was the most expensive film ever made at the time.
        – Sean Young was cast as Vicki Vale, but broke her leg in a riding accident a week before production. She seemed quite bitter in the interview that her career didn’t turn out differently. Shouldn’t have gone riding a week before your big break then!

      • just pillow talk says :

        Heh…”big break” indeed.

        Did they say what the pre-Jack tampered ending was?

      • Droid says :

        No. I’m not sure exactly how much of the ending was changed. If it was just a few things, or the whole set piece. They said that Jack and one of the (annoying douchebag) producers went to see Phantom of the Opera and Jack decided he wanted to incorporate elements of that at the end. Not exactly sure what those elements were.

        But the making of said that the screenplay is the first 2/3rds original writer, Sam Hamm and last third Warren Skaaren and others. Things like revealing The Joker killed Waynes parents, and Alfred letting Vicki into the Batcave (which are big no-no’s to the nerds) were additions.

    • just pillow talk says :

      Eh, I never really liked those Batman movies. Keaton couldn’t beat up a 5 year old kid.

      • Droid says :

        Luckily, his Batman isn’t required to.

      • just pillow talk says :

        I seem to remember liking the second one better way back when.
        Jack has the Joker never cut it for me.

      • Droid says :

        Batman Returns is my favourite Batman movie. I haven’t seen it in ages though, so it’ll be interesting to see if I still think that after watching it.

        I was a bit ho-hum regarding the first one. But it’s much better than I remembered. It’s not perfect, certainly. But I actually liked the dark, mental, nutjob portrayal of Batman as opposed to the explain everything, downplay the damage portrayal of Nolans version. Plus Keaton doesn’t go embarrassingly OTT with the Batvoice.

        “SWEAR TO MEEEEEEEE!!!!”

      • just pillow talk says :

        I’ll have to watch it again, I just didn’t buy into Keaton being nuts. I mean, it’s Mr. Mom we’re talking about. I just couldn’t take the threat to Batman seriously too.

    • tombando says :

      Never the big fan of this or the one w/ Catwoman and Danny Devito. Keaton as Bats? he shoulda been the Riddler! And Burton? not my fave director, period.

      I always like the one w/ Kilmer, Carey and Kidman, just because. It went right into the tank w/ Ahnold and Clooney of course 2 years later–but whatever.

      Droid is right–at least they get the city set/atmosphere and score right here, Jaack as Joker was okay too.

  43. just pillow talk says :

    I made the mistake of watching Dark Portals: The Chronicles of Vidocq, starring none other than Gerard Depardieu. It was a struggle to keep my eyes open during this. Complete crap. Suppposed to be like a french version of Holmes I guess, just not good.

    • just pillow talk says :

      Write a review!

      • Droid says :

        I could do, I suppose. But there’s a lot of review traffic these days with both the birthday series so I’m probably going to wait them out until I post anything.

      • Jarv says :

        Xi’s put something up as well today.

        We’ve got a lot of content at the moment. I’m going to bang out a shit load of reviews tomorrow and schedule them for the next week at least. This means, ideally, that I can break the back of this series before the horror of the 21st Century is upon me.

      • just pillow talk says :

        I’m not going to get through my birthday series anytime soon. I should be able to watch Shampoo tonight, and get Jarv a review by tomorrow morning at the latest.

      • Jarv says :

        Can’t say I blame you with that list.

      • just pillow talk says :

        Well, I’m also doing them chronologically, and most of them are on dvd for netflix. There’s only ten of them that I can view instantly, which sucks.

  44. Jarv says :

    Dirty Dancing watched. What an indefensible load of shit.

    • Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

      Surely not? Would you have left Baby in the corner then, you meanie.

      Just remember that as well as dancing in a vest to 80’s soft rock, Jonny Castle can rip your throat out.

      • Jarv says :

        This is actually one of the films that looks like it has a happy ending, but it really doesn’t

        Reprehensible film.

    • Jarv says :

      Oh shit. I’ve made a lot of sweeping generalisations about how women love DD in that review. Apologies in advance Barfy.

      It gets the Orangutan.

  45. just pillow talk says :

    Just got through Shampoo…review sent.

    Um, reviews going downhill….really need a good movie to rescue me here.

    • Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

      So what the fuck is Electronic Dance Music (EDM) as opposed to dance music which I have been listening to for 20 years? Now thats pretentious hipster crap!

      • Jarv says :

        I hate that I know the industry answer to this. EDM = Electronica= tunes such as Dust Devil or Flat Beat and includes the harder dance genres such as Trance, Techno or Jungle.

        Ordinary dance includes all House subgenres- mostly what you and me and so forth listen to would technically be Euphoric House.

        This is a rough guide, and there is a lot of crossover. As a rule of thumb, if you can hear actual instruments (even in sample) then it isn’t electronica.

        Of course, it gets murkier when you consider that Electronica as a label technically includes all Dance music.

  46. Droid says :

    Morning layabouts.

    Didn’t watch much last night. Just some Malcolm in the Middle episodes. I did, however, watch the trailer for Battleship, which looks like it could very well be the worst film ever made. I tried to post the trailer here last night but the internets was on the blink. Check it out… if you dare!!!

    • Jarv says :

      RotPotA trailer just been on again. Full length one. Best trailer for years, and the music in it is superb.

      Have to see it.

      • Droid says :

        Been on what?

        Are you watching morning TV?

      • Jarv says :

        I’ve got it on in the background while I’m doing pillows next review.

      • Droid says :

        This is what I said about the Lithgow one…

        Submitted on 2011/06/22 at 6:41 pm
        I have to say, good film or not, the guys who cut the Rise of the Apes trailers know how to sell the film.

      • Jarv says :

        Yeah. It’s true.

        I’ve seen lots of different versions now, and each one has made me want to see it.

      • Droid says :

        Lazy sod.

        I’m keeping my expectations for that movie well and truly checked. Because it does look good, but at the same time, I don’t think that they’ve held anything back. I think that the Lithgow trailer is basically an abbreviated version of the final film, beat for beat. So there’s not going to be very many surprises. I’m interested to see it though.

      • Jarv says :

        I think if you combine the Lithgow trailer with the Caeser one, then that’s pretty much the film.

        The full length one this morning looked like it had every beat in the film in it.

        Good point. Expectations suitably curbed.

      • Jarv says :

        How is work, by the way?

        PS. Married to the Mob is SHIT.

      • Droid says :

        Yeah, work’s shit. Cheers.

        Still, I’ve got Monday and Tuesday off, so it’s a four day weekend! Huzzah! And my holiday in October is starting to take shape. We’ve nixed Malaga altogether. Cordoba, Granada and Seville then Marrakech.

      • Jarv says :

        Wise move. Malaga is an overpriced tourist shithole. Don’t forget Torremonlinos is in Malaga.

        I’m off Thursday Friday next week for my fat sister’s chav wedding. I’ve had to order a fucking kilt for it as well.


        Not happy.

      • Jarv says :

        Pillows new nightmare is going up at 2pm.


      • Droid says :

        Is Torremonlinos the Brit city?

        £110 for a kilt? Surely just get a tartan patterned towel and pin that on. Probably cost you, oh… a fiver?

      • Jarv says :

        It comes with all sorts of shit.

        Torremolinos is the concrete monstrosity full of British Chavs and even seagulls fly upside down over it.

      • Droid says :

        concrete monstrosity full of British Chavs and even seagulls fly upside down over it.

        Canary Wharf?

      • Jarv says :


        Canary wharf is rammed full of suits though. The only time fuckers in that shithole wear a suit is at court.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Alright I have to ask, what clan colors?

        Good call on Malaga and I wasn’t all that sold on Marrakesh myself but that could have more to do with the fact I had been living in the desert for like 8 months before I got there and really wanted to be anywhere else but in another semi same climate. The beaches were OK but no surfing so that sucked.

      • Jarv says :

        Can’t get my clan. So I’ve had to get a generic one.

      • Droid says :

        I’ve never been to africa, or any desert-ish country (apart from central Australia) so it’ll be a new experience for me.

  47. Xiphos0311 says :

    If I never set foot in Africa ever again I’ll consider my life complete.

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