Burt Gummer’s Rec Room January 2011 Archive

A gathering place for firearms enthusiasts, paranoid survivalists and those who worship at the Church of Chang.

Welcome to 2011. Apparently we’re less than 12 months from the Mayan Apocalypse. Best stock up on weapons and other essential survival gear.

Disclaimer: This is the part of the Church that is the most no holds barred. None of it is intended with malice, and although it can on occasion seem a little bit fraught, it is banter rather than venom.

3,147 responses to “Burt Gummer’s Rec Room January 2011 Archive”

  1. koutchboom says :

    Speaking of undeserving Oscar noms/win.

    Still think that the head and shoulders shots where a purely “artistic” idea?


    Told you she couldn’t dance.

  2. Lord Bronco says :

    Alright Gents,

    Quick update:

    Watched “True Grit” with my dad-It was fucking great.

    Thank you Coen brothers for not embarrassing me in front of my father like the Wachowski Siblings did on matrix 2 or whatever the fucking one is with the ecstasy orgy.

    Btw, Speed Racer was unwatchable shite, and the gay soldier story in fucking Iraq is going to suck even worse.

    You Wachowski cunts will be making Matrix sequels in about 10 seconds. Fuck you both.

    More twitter news, Thor doesn’t suck, maybe probably.

    Moriarty-Drew McWeeny from Aicn is actually in the viral video from the Sundance “The Woman” walkout video-he helped walkout the fucking douchebag and his wife.

    From AM radio- there’s a report that the United States Senate passed a filibuster reform law that only Political science nerds like myself would realize is HUGE if it’s true.

    And to conclude, AD Lane and his Step Father are on hour 61 or so and 2400 pounds sterling of sleep deprivation.

    I’m gonna go go bug those guys for a while, try and give them some hope.

    Oh yeah, Charlie Sheen binged on hookers and cocaine until he had to be admitted to hospital on stretcher with a towel wrapped around his head to keep in all the cocaine.

    That is all,

    I hope Jarv, Droid and everybody makes it through the week-sorry about the job troubles.

  3. lordbronco says :

    I apologize in advance:

    This is Industrial 1990s Techno:

    It’s creepy as fuck, but ultimately harmelss:

    Dedicated to Jarv, Droid and Monkey Person-who shall always be Mr. F. Marmoset.

  4. Jarv says :


    when I next get a truly awesome film, but a truly bad one (eg something like Split Second) then it’s getting this:

    The Hannibal of Awesomeness

  5. Frank Marmoset says :

    Seen Welcome To The Rileys last night, starring Kristen Stewart as a dirty stripper who is also a filthy whore.

    No boob, unfortunately. Some ass, but no boob. That’s an instant actress demerit in my book. If you are playing a stripper and you do not show boob, you have let down yourself, fans of strippers, and the entire acting profession.

    Kristen Stewart in Welcome To The Rileys – DEMERIT!

    Lindsay Lohan in I Know Who Killed Me – DEMERIT!

    Jessica Alba in Sin City – DEMERIT!

    On the other hand:

    Demi Moore in Striptease – BOOB!

    Jessica Biel in Powder Blue – BOOB!

    Elizabeth Berkley in Showgirls – BOOB! PLUS BONUS VAGINA!

    All that nonsense aside, Welcome To The Rileys is a pretty good little drama, I liked it. Nice performances from Stewart, James Gandolfini, and Melissa Leo (who seems to have turned herself into the queen of supporting actresses in recent years).

    • Jarv says :

      You have a point. If they play a stripper, then they are artistically bound to unleash the norks.

      PS- Lohan did get them out in that shit, however, you couldn’t see it as it was obscured so she gets quadruple demerit points.

    • koutchboom says :

      Well thats good, going off previous Gandof affair I figured the movie was just going to be him showing off his range of masterbation skills.

  6. Jarv says :

    Shitty news of the day:

    Will Smith is inflicting his horrendous, talentless, annoying daughter on, well, someone in the form of a remake of Annie.

    Now I couldn’t give two shits about Annie, but I happen to hate this for 3 reasons:

    1) Nepotism-

    2) It’s a fucking musical and she can’t sing

    3) She can’t act either.

    • Droid says :

      Don’t worry Jarv. The sun will come out tomorrow. You bet your bottom dollar it will.

      In unrelated news, I feel like shit.

    • Frank Marmoset says :

      Willow Smith is the world’s foremost hair whipper. She can whip her hair in many different ways, including both back and forth. Also, when people see her pull up, she has been known to whip it real hard.

      She is therefore more than adequately qualified to play Annie in the film Annie.

    • Tom_Bando says :

      Yeah it’s a bad idea. All around. I agrees.

  7. Frank Marmoset says :

    In my unrelated news, I have two full days of in-office meetings next Wednesday and Thursday. That means two entire days of me teetering on the precipice of sleep while boring people say boring things about boring stuff in boring voices.

    Furthermore, for two weeks after that I will be working from our Bath office while we train on the new computer system that is going to revolutionise the job and change the world and possibly give us all oral pleasure of some sort. Which means I won’t be around here posting nonsense during the day. I will, however, pop in in the evenings to reassure you all that I have not run off anywhere or been imprisoned or institutionalised or abducted by aliens.

    • Bartleby says :

      might have missed this elsewhere, but what did you think of Timer Frankie?

      Not a great movie but a good one and i figured it would do you good to see one of your Buffy gals in a movie that didn’t straight up suck horribly.

      In other news, if you like seeing things getting blowed up good:


      Rolling out a few more reviews this morning. Have stockpiled alot of work so trying to pace myself in posting it. Probably have enough ‘review’ content for nearly all next week save for the new reviews.

      • Frank Marmoset says :

        Like you say, Timer was good but not great. Better than average for that kind of romance-related thing, and I liked Emma Caulfield in it. Given the huge number of god awful films I’ve seen starring Buffy alumnae, it made a nice change change to see one that was halfway decent.

        I did mention this somewhere else, as an example of my Buffy nerdliness, but I also liked that Kali Rocha (who played Halfrek on Buffy) was in it, making Timer a film that features not one but two former vengeance demons.

  8. Droid says :


    Forthwith you have been assigned to watch and review this film.

    Jarvs new favourite film

    In order to allow you to show your appreciation immediately I include this premise…

    The film follows a guarded woman who discovers she has cancer, but when she meets her soulmate, the threat of falling in love is scarier than death.

    Starring Kate Hudson, Gael García Bernal, Kathy Bates and

    In cinemas Friday 4th February 2011.

    I look forward to your review.

  9. koutchboom says :

    There is a new show on SyFy that aired last night. I wanted to watch it but that Deadspace film kept putting me to sleep like a freight train. Its a competition show for special effects guys. Its called Face Off. It looked pretty cool. At least geeky interesting. Its got some good judges as well. The lady that did Edward Scissorhands and Pirates shit, Patrick Nick Tata? Tatapawhat? Tatopoulos. Looks like it could be fun, didn’t realize that Patrick was some dirty Euro creep sounding mofo.

  10. just pillow talk says :

    I watched The Dark Knight again last night, and I still quite love it, faults and all.

    There is so much fucking snow, that it’s buried my satellite and I can not watch tv right now.

    I hope my roof doesn’t collapse, it’s ridiculous how much snow we have.

  11. Bartleby says :

    So, Frank and Koutch,
    Watched Mulholland Drive last night for the first time in ten years. Watching it after all of Lynch’s other stuff, I’m struck by a couple of things.
    1. It’s quite nearly his best movie, after EM and right up there with The Straight Story. For the pure zany Lynch films, this is the one that works best for me. The dreamlike tone is intact and yet for most of it (thanks to the tv pilot factor) there’s a cohesive and easily deduced story going on. Deciphering Mulholland Drive is no more challenging than deciphering The Fountain or something similar. It’s not a Donnie Dorko where one can only guess what the hell actually happened.

    2. Naomi Watts is surprisingly good in this. I’m not really a fan much of Watts, as she’s turned into Nicole Kidman with training wheels but this is a great ‘breakout’ performance. She’s playing a crazy girl dreaming of being a less crazy girl who is so chipper and naïve that when she auditions she’s more convincing than the character. Not quite up there with Farnsworth, Hopkins and Hurt, but very good work nonetheless.

    3. All of the weird stuff actually works in the movie as stand-alone segments. Club Silencio is an excellent set piece, and that whole side bit about the guy fearing the thing behind the Winkies was effective unto itself. They also fold reasonably well back into the central plotline. Watching that big goomba drop Billy Ray Cyrus like a sack of potatoes was particularly satisfying. And The Cowboy…dear lord, the cowboy.

    4. As I watched this with my wife, I was sort of fearing the explicitness of the g/g scenes. She wasn’t a fan of those in Black Swan so I was a bit concerned about that since Lynch certainly didn’t shy away from explicitness in Velvet, WAH, and FWWM. So consider me surprised when the whole movie turns out to be rather subdued content wise and devoid of almost all of Lynch’s usually strong and graphic attacks on women. There’s not much that’s even worthy of an R outside of those two scenes between Harris and Watts. And yet, he shoots them very intimately and makes them interesting in how they tie to the story. They aren’t actually throw away love scenes, although I think this matters little to the monkey.

    5. Koutch, your DL loving D-bag friends are morons. They keep telling you how there’s so much subtext and using that example of the diner girl’s nametag as proof of how deep it is. They are full of it. The nametag bit isn’t some kind of carefully hidden jigsaw puzzle. It’s a blatant example of clue-dropping and is there to help differentiate between the dream world and not the dream world. Those pieces aren’t vague or hard to understand. They are as ‘obscure’ as Dom’s little spinning top in Inception or as ‘cryptic’ as Rosebud on Kane’s sled. Which is to say, not at all.

    • Droid says :

      I mean this in all sincerity… Mulholland Drive blows.

      • Bartleby says :

        out of curiosity, why?

      • Droid says :

        It’s a hodgepodge of crap imagery and half baked ideas. It’s dull, uninteresting and unsatisfying. In short, it blows.

      • Bartleby says :

        wil have to agree to disagree. btw, that was like a synopsis of how I felt about Lost Highway, and its how I assume Koutch feels about Black Swan. Interesting.

        I was suroprised by how well it worked for me this time though. By and large, Lynchathon has been quite positive. Two hurdles left and Im through. Granted, one of them is ridiculously large– Inland Empire.

      • Droid says :

        Lynch is funny like that. He either works or he doesn’t. And it’s pretty random. Some people will like one movie but not another. No one will be the same. But he REALLY didn’t work for me with MD. I haven’t watched a Lynch film since, be it new or old Lynch. I have however watched Twin Peaks twice since MD. I love that show.

      • koutchboom says :

        Hahah, thats not how I feel about Swan at all. I said Swan was just stupid. She’s crazy full stop. Thats the whole fucking movie. AMAZING!

      • Bartleby says :

        I still thought this was your point:

        It’s a hodgepodge of crap imagery and half baked ideas. It’s dull, uninteresting and unsatisfying. In short, it blows.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well yeah the “it blows” part. But its not like Lynch where the ideas my seem half baked and lead to nothing. The ideas in Swan if anything are over cooked. Its about as subtle as The A-Team in terms of psychological thrillers.

    • koutchboom says :

      Yeah I know they read too much into Lynch shit. I just haven’t had the desire to rewatch anything Lynch after Inland. I remember really enjoying Drive until the last half hour. I was probably to young to fully get Lynch then and may like it better now. I don’t know. It was showing this week and I was going to record it, but I just lost Encore, I guess they had a free month preview. I figured they were at least going to wait till the new Spartucus aired to suck you in to buying. But oh well. Not having 8 movie channels on my DVR is a good thing.

    • Frank Marmoset says :

      Good to hear Mulholland Drive held up for you, Bartleby. I’m not sure I’d put it up there with his best stuff – like I’ve said somewhere else, I prefer Lynch when he sticks to something approaching a more conventional storyline – but I do like it. That is, I like it as much as it’s possible to ‘like’ a film about a woman slowly realising her life is not really worth living and then blowing her brains out.

      As to the sex scenes, my considered, professional opinion is that the only time sex scenes can be described as ‘throwaway’ is when they don’t show boob.

      • koutchboom says :

        As to the sex scenes, my considered, professional opinion is that the only time sex scenes can be described as ‘throwaway’ is when they don’t show boob.

        So that’ll be ‘Black Swan’ then. Aka Darren toning down his shit to get the awards.

    • Jarv says :

      No way is this anywhere near Blue Velvet. No way.

      I also think it’s worse than Lost Highway for being boring, and I think LH is severely flawed.

      • Bartleby says :

        Have you watched BV lately Jarv? It’s sort of dated and its also just intensely unpleasant in the Hopper/Russolini scenes. I liked it wel enough for the parts in between but I think its highly overrated. Yes, its more straightforward but it really feels like its pulling in two different directions; one wants to be concerned with the masochistic relationship and the other in that Twilight Zone white picket fence mystery. Neither comes together the way you’d hope.

        I didnt find MD boring. Lost Highway just goes so far off the rails. Lynch himself has admitted that he’s uinclear of what the movie is really about.

  12. Frank Marmoset says :

    I have half a mind to watch Mulholland Drive again tonight, but there is other important business to attend to. It’s time to get back to the 100% Cage quest.

    Tonight, I travel all the way back to 1983 – a time when makeup-plastered lady-men with synthesisers were making all that music Jarv secretly loves so much – to check out one of Cage’s earliest films: Valley Girl. I’ve heard it’s actually pretty good, so hopefully this will be less painful than some of the other films I’ve had to watch as part of this ludicrous stunt.

    • koutchboom says :

      FUCK! I wanted to see that it as well! It was going to be showing on Encore this weekend! Fucking free month preview!

      It said it had nudity Frank so there’s that.

    • koutchboom says :

      FUCK! I wanted to see that it was going to be showing on Encore this weekend! Fucking free month preview!

      It said it had nudity Frank so there’s that.

  13. koutchboom says :

    Red Hill just came out on the DVDs. What was the word on that?

  14. Frank Marmoset says :

    Just read this on another site:

    The CW have pushed back Supernatural’s mid-season premiere by one week to give new viewers another chance to see Vampire Diaries and Nikita.

    Which means there’ll be no new episode of Supernatural this week after all. To which I say BOOOOO!

    I like American telly very much, but the endless delays and breaks between episodes are pretty annoying sometimes.

  15. kloipy says :

    Sorry about the fucked up audio

    • Droid says :

      Hey there kloipy. Good to see you. Hope work settles down for you. I feel your pain. I eagerly await the triumphant return of the ‘stachiod kloipy. Take it easy. Fuck work right in the ear.

      • kloipy says :

        and fuck it I shall. thanks Droid!

      • Jarv says :

        Fuck work. I got out twenty minutes ago and have the privilege of working from home over the weekend.


      • Spud McSpud says :

        And I definitely think Jarv should reveal himself in the same way. I picture him squatting under a dilapidated aqueduct somewhere in darkest Camden, in a fetid pool of meh, cackling and gibbering, surrounded by the assorted works of Charles Band, Golan Globus and everything Entertainment In Video ever produced :/

      • Jarv says :

        Fuck off

        I live in tropical paradise Chalk Farm. Or Primrose Hill East as the estate agents call it. However, the film collection is a combination of ludicrously high-end stuff and awesomely schlock.

        How many people do you know have both Split Second AND The Beastmaster on DVD

      • Col Tigh-Fighter says :

        Nice to hear/see ya Kloipy. I’ve taken to hanging in these here parts for while 🙂

        Jarv, I’ve now become a resident of Greenwich. If you fancy grabbing a movie sometime (a good one, not one of the craps one you seem to watch as a penance for some past evil deeds!) or if you fancy being a zombie sometime in March/April; let me know.

        The same zombie offer stands to all Moonwolvians and Baleivers if you can get yo ass to London during said times 😉

        Cockneys Vs Zombies “Come and get it!” Surely one for the Scholck vault in years to come

      • Jarv says :

        Might well have to Col.

        What do you reckon, Droid?

      • Droid says :

        If this Cockneys vs Zombies project requires a devilishly handsome and sophisticated zombie I’m your man. “I ate his BRAAIIINNNSS with some fava beans and a nice chianti.”

        If it helps you two as a meet and greet I’d be only too happy to let you both share the ‘A little bit of heaven’ assignment.

    • Spud McSpud says :

      Fucking hell! Kloipy in the flesh!!

      You good looking brother, you’re like Eli Roth if he were actually good looking 😀

      Glad you’re having a great new year, and it’s good to finally get to put a name (and a face!) to the name.

      Peace, broheim – and fuck work. Fuck it in its stupid ass…

    • Tom_Bando says :

      Hey there Kloipy–sounds like its a busy season for ya. Bring back the neato posts when you can.

    • Frank Marmoset says :

      Good to hear from you, Kloipy (good to see from you, too)!

      Come back soon, there are not nearly enough quality puns without you.

  16. LBronco says :

    Hey Kloipy, thanks for the vid! uh, nice face and all that…

    For Mr Marmoset-Drive Angry has been seen by my friends at Blogomatic3000-but they are under an embargo for a month-they can’t say anything!

    I guess it’s playing in London right now-Odeon-press screening.

    Ad Lane literally just finished the 85 Hour tweetathon-3615 pounds raised! *I woke up just in time to see the very end*

    James Cameron and Jerry Bruckheimer just joined twitter-we’ll see what that’s all about.

    • LBronco says :

      Well, Jimmy the C was on twitter for all of 4 hours before he ends up yacking to Kim Khardaeeeun.

      No I don’t now how to spell the sows name.

      FilmCritcHulk decided :”It’s the defining moment for twitter”

  17. LBronco says :

    Somebody stole Mel Gibson’s Beaver!!! Right out of his mailbox!!! Franklin-admit it it-it was you!


  18. LBronco says :

    Charlie Sheen enters rehab-Egypt schedules protests for suspension of Two and A Half men.

  19. LBronco says :

    james cameron on twitter-6 hours in 21,000 followers.

    I’ve been on for 5 months-maybe 300.

    I should make dances with wolves with 3-D CGI-then maybe somebody would care.

  20. Jarv says :

    Finally got round to watching the hurt locker.

    I honestly think this is the most overrated film I’ve seen in yonks. I really struggled with it and would probably have turned it off if mrs. Jarv wasn’t enjoying it. It’s not bad as such, just he’s a dick and a really unlikable one at that.

  21. LBronco says :

    Well, I’m gonna go to sleep-Been watching Egypt stuff on Al-Jazeera/twitter. It looks like the mubarak is probably done-the military looks to be supporting the people’s right to protest-which is going down in the next couple of hours.

    I just refuse to fuck up my circadian sleep cycles over this-but damn it was amazing. Oh, and American cable news media really is fucking useless.

    That fact any of these people are payed money for their crap reporting is just getting more and more obviously stupid.

    Not even bitching about politics per se, just the utter fucking cluelessness and out of touchiness tech-wise.

  22. Droid says :

    Now that’s the way to kick off a saturday! A Predator double bill. First one? AWESOME! Second one, which I haven’t seen in well over 10 years? Pretty good. A substantial drop in quality from the first one, but that’s because the first one is AWESOME!!!

    Also watched The Burrowers last night. It was okay. A good idea and the different setting (1800’s) on the positive side. On the negative side it wasn’t scary at all, and a little slow. And it wasted Jocelyn Donahue. I give it a 2 out of 4. Worth a watch but don’t go out of your way to seek it out.

  23. Jarv says :


    What the fuck!

    Still, I bet he’s not been threatend by Don Murphy.

  24. Droid says :

    Thanks for joining me for this 11 o’clock news bulletin.

    Our lead story tonight is the unfortunate developments with the modern state studio bankrolled horror. In particular the 2007 Warner Bros film “Trick r’ Treat”. Despite views to the contrary, this film is a gigantic steaming pile of shit. Amongst it’s many reprehensible features are numerous scenes of child murder, often played for laughs, a disjointed mishmash of baffling narrative, as well as a complete lack of entertainment value and a quite unbelievable ability to annoy and infuriate. Only through boneheaded stubbornness was this reporter able to make it through the sheer awfulness of this crapfest. I cannot stress enough that if you see “Trick r’ Treat” in a video store you do now approach it, as it is armed with the rectal discharge of the damned and extremely dangerous to the health of your ability to watch movies. I repeat, stay away and let the professionals who run hell deal with the individuals responsible. For they will get what’s coming to them I can assure you.

    And this has been the 11 o’clock news. I’m Droid and you’re you. Thanks for watching.

    • Tom_Bando says :

      Wasn’t this fiasco something that was associated w/ either Harold or Quint or Drew?? they either co-wrote it or something????

  25. koutchboom says :

    Watching the original Street Fighter movie. Its cool, its like if the Zucker Brothers decided to make a straight movie but with the same production values of Airplane (some of the Zucker/Abrams team have made some damn good normal movies). I mean they made the movie like its the NES of movies. I enjoy it. It’s campy as fuck but it just works for some reason. I mean there is no other way your making a live action Street Fighter movie. Unless you broke it down by character and we saw how well that worked.

  26. koutchboom says :

    Ok Droid, watching The Castle. Lemme guess this is based off of your family? And you are Steve?

    • koutchboom says :

      Its funny I just saw this happen back in like ought seven. The college I was at decided it needed an “athletic village”. Fuck this movie has a good soundtrack. Anyways, they went around buying up all the surrounding property and some people held out. It was funny because at one point you saw like 2-3 houses with all this freshly bulldozed land around it. I was staying in a shitty apartment complex that was in the way. I think that dude was probably the first fucker to sign up for the buy out because my ass was kicked out really fast.

      It was sad though because one day I ran into a local who had been there for 20-30 years, I started talking to him and he said how he came to the college and like the town so much he bought a house there and now the college was kicking him out of his house.

      • koutchboom says :

        Droid, is Michael Caton still pissed Geoffrey Rush has the career he never got?

      • koutchboom says :

        Bahahahah I’ve got an Elephant like that.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well Droid…I enjoyed it. Its too quaint to not like really. Reminds me a little of Napoleon Dynamite, its more straight forward then that film, but its got the same sort of quirkiness about it. That sort of HO HUM dumbness, strong headedness. Napoleon is lot more mean spirited then The Castle. The Castle also reminds me a less depressing version of another Aussie homeboi Adam Elliot, with the whole narration and silly people stuff.

      • Jarv says :

        Try the dish koutch. It’s another good Aussie comedy

      • Droid says :

        I like Michael Caton, but he never could’ve pulled of Casanova Frankenstein. Which is one of the many reasons Geoffrey Rush is a legend.

    • Droid says :

      Well I am an ideas man.

  27. koutchboom says :

    OHHH JESUS Rob Sitch is one of the people behind the life sucking ‘Thank God Your Here’ tv show. Jesus that thing fucking blew. Thank god for Breaking Bad otherwise I’d see him dead for that shit. Good thing I find this out after the movie is over.

    • Droid says :

      He’s responsible for the original version, but not the one on US tv. Neither of which I’ve seen.

      • Droid says :

        Rob Sitch has been involved in some awesome Aussie tv. Frontline, The Late Show and The Hollowmen. I liked The Panel as well. Not that anyone here apart from me knows what these are.

  28. Droid says :

    Poms are in a bit of strife here. The saffa and the irish bloke just threw away their wickets.

  29. Jarv says :


    I get up to watch the cricket and England contrive to throw away 3 wickets for peanuts.

    I would drop Morgan for that shot, if England weren’t riddled with injury

  30. Droid says :

    Murrays getting his ass handed to him in the tennis. Not a good day for UK sport.

    • Jarv says :


      Can’t stand the cunt- and the sooner he’s busted for steroids the better. He’s one of the most blatant users around, and a despicable little cunt on top.

  31. Jarv says :

    Just finished Fringe.

    Overall, I give it 2 out of 4.

    There was just far too much mehness to it, Torv is terrible, although she did improve towards the end.

    I really felt it suffered from being too unfocused. There were hints that Massive Dynamic were the villains, then those german cunts, then someone else and it didn’t feel like it was going anywhere for ages.

    The monster of the week structure was OK, some monsters (notably cold virus, porcupine man, vampire chick and the heart parasite) were good, but others (psychosomatic cutting) were a big fat meh.

    The writing was a bit ropy for a lot of it- particularly in how the characters dealt with Torv- there was far too much of Daniels saying “I would tell you not to do/be such and such BUT it’s what makes you so damned good” (without any evidence of her actually being any good). That grew very fucking tiresome.

    Both Walter and Peter grew a lot better as the series went on as did the black lab assistant chick.

    However, it’s got an absolute fucking stormer of a final episode, good enough that I actually want to watch the next series.

    I think the uncertainty over cancellation that it was under really fucked up the writing and they rushed the second half of it.

    It was good enough to make me want to see the second series, where hopefully someone will de-botox Torv’s head and get her into acting classes pronto. Either that, or less of her and more of the Bishops, who can act and are fun.

    I don’t see the hatred for it (much like nerd trek) but I wouldn’t go nuts. As it was average in the first series I suspect that it will get much better as it finds it’s stride. The opposite of Dexter which was superb in the first series and then took a screaming nosedive into the shitter.

    • Droid says :

      The second series is where it develops the big story that the last ep hints at. It’s got less monster of the week stuff. I like the first series, but as I’ve already said, it takes a while get going. If you have made it this far without hating it, then I definitely recommend you continue watching. Season two is great.

      • Col Tigh-Fighter says :

        Amen to that. Season 2 and Walternate are very good. Although the fucking singing episode got a bit stupid. Enough of that crap!

      • Jarv says :

        Mrs Jarv wants to see it, so I probably will. At a more leisurely pace though.

        I think 2 out of 4 is fair enough for it. If they had an actress with the ability to move her face rather than Torv then I’d probably have jumped it up a mark

      • Droid says :

        Meh. Torv is fine.

      • Jarv says :

        She isn’t. She’s the real weak link of it.

        She did get better over the course of the series, and to be absolutely fair, she was on the receiving end of some seriously clunky scenes (notably with Daniels). I give her a bye (aside from looking like the Mekon) because of the patchy writing in dialogue scenes that her character was involved in.

        Her best moment, and I hope she paid attention was the scene when the timelines split and she was standing in Daniels office, completely confused at the 2 Spontaneous combustion victims. She managed for the first time in the series to get across a feeling of desperate confusion and that she was terrified of losing her marbles. She didn’t get anywhere near this at any other time. The first half, particularly, I’d describe her as robotic.

        Still, as I said, I expect her to improve, but I do wonder what it could have been with a Gillian Anderson type in the role.

  32. Droid says :

    Well if I was interested to know what impact 6 months of 50 hour weeks has had on my body I’ve just found out. I just got back from a “run” which 6 months ago I would casually meander around with no great effort. Christ I couldn’t even make it around without stopping to walk sections. I’m the most unfit I’ve ever been in my fucking life. Christ. What a wake up call. Cigs ‘n Grog are on the down low from tomorrow and health ‘n fitness are on the up high.

    But that’s tomorrow.

    • Jarv says :

      Weekend boozing only for you know then. In a way I’m lucky in that I spend a lot of my day running up and down stairs.

      You need a new job- 50 hours+ sitting on your ass does terrible things.

      Mind you, I need a new job for entirely different reasons

    • Tom_Bando says :

      Trust me Droid I know how this works. I usually will do a quick 1.5 mile walk around a loop/pond near work on my noons, takes about 25 minutes or so. Nothing great but it’s a good mini-workout for a workday.

      Been at this for 4 years or so.

      Didn’t bother w/ it for 2 months just due to colder weather, a lingering cold and being a slug.

      Went back to it a month ago. Holy crap—! Lower back ached, legs were all semi-charlie horsey, store–whole nine yards. Took a couple weeks at least of smaller walks regular just to get back to my reg. pondwalks. Like I was 44 years old or something you know??

      Anyways, I feel your pain young man. Fall of the exercise wagon and it can get away from you in a heart-beat, esp. if you don’t watch what you eat etc either.

  33. Frank Marmoset says :

    Spider-Man is British, Batman is British, and now Superman is British.

    It won’t be long before we here they’re doing a new version of The Punisher starring Hugh Grant, and Dame Judy Dench has been cast as Wonder Woman. Or maybe Helen Mirren would be a better fit for that role.

  34. Frank Marmoset says :

    Does anyone know if there is something larger than Twitter but smaller than a blog? As in, a blog seems like too much space to fill but Twitter seems like not enough space.

    Bronco knows these things, maybe he can help me out with some advice.

  35. Droid says :

    Spidey, Bats, Supes, Charles Xavier, Magneto are British, Wolverine and Thor are Aussies, Green Lanterns a Canuck, and Ghost Riders from Neptune.

  36. Jarv says :

    Going the distance is SHIT.

    However, I don’t want to punch Drew Barrymore yet which is a record for her

    • Jarv says :

      It started off brilliantly but it fucking blows now. I really want to punch him and you know a film blows when a big set piece Is better in American Pie 2.

      Seriously- this shit is the best rom coms have?

    • Droid says :

      Christ you’re a miserable bastard.

      • Jarv says :

        Not really, it was trite, dull, predictable, kept opening up ideas that didn’t go anywhere, had annoying central characters and after the Thanksgiving scene not one laugh. I usually like Justin Long for some reason and hate Barrymore, but watching this I was thinking that he was a fucking eunuch and she was entirely in the right.

        That’s the second much vaunted “romantic comedy” that I’ve seen recently that features pathetic man-bitches in the main role. It isn’t clever, it isn’t “subverting stereotypes”, it’s just sad- oh and there’s no argument that it’s for women, because how many women actually like complete drips?

        Then to finish it off, it bottled the actual ending of the film (they break up, life moves on) for some forced happy ending.

        1 Chang, and that’s purely for the first half an hour.

        Mrs. Jarv also thought it was shit, to such an extent that she’s gone off the idea of watching that horrible Aniston thing- so I suppose HUZZAH!!! GTD has a use.

        What the fuck is wrong with comedy today, when that shit is the best on offer?

      • Droid says :

        Nah, you’re just a miserable bastard.

      • Jarv says :

        Mrs Jarv hated it more than me.

        The first half an hour- genuinely funny. The rest of the film- utter shit.

        The bit that fucked me off the most, and signalled the screaming nose dive into the shitter was when “obvious red herring” guy was bought in, and it didn’t fucking do anything at all with him. She got drunk, passed out, said she’d been out with him, Long threw a hissy fit, she asked him to trust her, he had to go for work and then…

        Never mentioned again.

        This was a recurring flaw of the film. The other husbands etc at Thanksgiving bollocking Long because they put in the “hard yards”. Never mentioned again. Applegate talking about how Barrymore was “behind in the life plan” (potentially an interesting idea). Mentioned briefly in a throwaway by Barrymore at the end.

        Possibly the most utterly worthless film that I’ve seen in ages.

      • Jarv says :

        Wait, I’m clearly missing the point- it gets a pass because it’s “nice” and has a “happy ending” doesn’t it?

        Regardless of the fact that it wasn’t nice and the ending was a complete load of shit and truly forced.

      • Droid says :

        It “gets a pass” because it’s funny, has likeable characters and is entertaining from start to finish.

      • Jarv says :

        It isn’t funny aside from the first half an hour- seriously the hi-fucking-larious phone sex scene? American Pie 2 did it better, which is really saying something. She’s likable, he’s just another 500 days of summer crybaby.

        Entertaining? Well, I suppose so in a “I wonder what bullshit they’ll use to cover over the massive problem central to the film”.

      • Droid says :

        I can’t imagine a shitfest like American Pie 2 doing anything “better” than any film. But hey, if you like that movie then have at it. Explains how differently we approach these types of movies.

      • Jarv says :

        I don’t like it- I think American Pie 2 is a terrible film. However, I did laugh at the phone sex scene in American Pie 2 (because of stifler), whereas I didn’t even raise a chuckle at the bit in GTD.

      • koutchboom says :

        I laughed at the phone sex in going the distance because thats happened to me.

      • Droid says :

        Who on earth wants to see a romantic comedy where they don’t end up together? If you want that go watch dogshit like The Break Up. Nora Ephron originally wanted Harry and Sally not to get together at the end. Yeah, that would’ve been a great ending. Reiner knew no one wanted to sit through 90 minutes of will they won’t they just to be let down by the film shoving a downbeat ending down their throat.

      • Jarv says :


        However, there’s a huge difference between an insurmountable problem that they couldn’t possibly resolve (and they didn’t) just being ignored in a shitty rushed ending to apply a band-aid to the festering wound at the heart of the film. A fix ending would have been if he’d got a real job in LA (and managing that band does not count, that was a pure cop out), and she’d managed also to transplant down. Also, if it had been built up to, rather than them split up and then out of the fucking blue he suddenly announces that he’s in LA which is, like, really close as OMG it’s only a 6 hour drive away! It was bullshit.

        It’s a fundamentally terrible film, and it actually fails at the writing stage, as it’s the first film in ages that I haven’t loathed Barrymore in and Long did his best with his bitch character so I can’t blame the actors.

      • Droid says :

        Do I think the film is resolved perfectly? Of course not. But I think you’re getting a bit excitable (as is your want) over a film that doesn’t warrant the OTT vitriol you’re sending its way.

        Out of interest, how is Justin Longs character a “bitch”? Apart from the “misunderstanding” plot point you’ve already mentioned.

      • Jarv says :

        Prime example- when she tells him that she had a job interview with the chronicle- instead of being pleased for her, or even faking being pleased for her, he runs off and sulks at the bar and she just buggers off somewhere.

        I’m cross with it, because I was genuinely enjoying it- having sex on the table while that guy was eating was funny as hell- and then it just slid off into the shitter. If the first half an hour hadn’t been enjoyable and had just been crap, I’d be rude about it, but less angry.

        I’m astonished at the state of what passes for comedy nowadays, particularly rom coms (which I don’t tend to like to begin with).

        It makes me think Easy A was even better in comparison.

      • Droid says :

        Yes, but in the context of the story and the characters, her not telling him that she’s interviewing for a permanent (dream) job in SF amounts to her not telling him that she has no intention of coming back to NY. And in essence ending the relationship. So he does what we all do when a relationship ends. He gets drunk.

      • Jarv says :

        OK- fine.

        I take that, and I took it at the time, however, the relationship limped on for a while after- he should have ended it on the spot if that was the case.

        This is one of the worst examples of writers wanting to have their cake and eat it that I’ve seen in a while.

      • Droid says :

        You might think that it’s that easy, but I have to say, some of what I like about the movie is that it quite accurately reflects a reality I am familiar with. When it comes down to it, these relationships do “limp on” for a while, because you don’t break up for conventional reasons. What you put down to “the worst examples of writers wanting their cake and eat it” I put down to a fairly accurate depiction (overall) of a long distance relationship, and the way that the hope and optimism gradually fades away.

      • Jarv says :

        I was in a long distance relationship for years, and I can honestly say that film bore no resemblance to my experience. When the time came where the decision had to be made we did it and split up. It wasn’t nice, but it wasn’t fair on either person to have to give something up and would have ended really nastily.

        I’m not just talking about that bit of the film when I say that they wanted to have their cake and eat it- the end also reeks of that. This was a film that it was possible to resolve within the confines of the story, and instead they just pull a happy rabbit out of their hat. It was lazy and contrary to everything that had been set up.

        Anyhow, the point remains that if GTD is the best romantic comedy can offer, then it’s on life support.

      • Droid says :

        Well, I can’t speak for your LDR, only mine. It’s very similar to my experiences. The flights, the airport, the goodbyes, the hello’s, the texting, emailing, phoning, the dream job (the difference there being that was the reason she went back in the first place), trying to figure out a way to move there, and the gradual realisation that we cannot keep living split lives. So that’s why I liked it. I was able to connect to the situation and recognise aspects of it as familiar.

        The end is a complete fantasy, which is part and parcel of the genre. But I have to say that I would’ve been very happy to have had that fantasy made a reality back then.

      • Jarv says :

        This raises a good point actually- If it reflects your experience then it is more likely to resonate with you, and you’re less likely to pick at the flaws of it.

        Still, I do object to that end. There were many ways that the film could have been resolved happily- how about you ditch some of the useless scenes in it that don’t go anywhere (and there were a lot), and instead have him move out to SF after the break up. He doesn’t know anyone so gives her a call, and the relationship rebuilds on different terms. It would have been less insulting than what they came up with (which was STILL a LDR, just a lot less distance, but still more than enough).

      • Droid says :

        I will agree with that point, in which he would only move out to SF if he got a job in the music industry. That felt a little bit too much of a false conflict. He could easily get some office job and then go from there.

      • Jarv says :

        Yup. I also felt that it painted itself into a corner with her having to do all the moving etc. That happened a lot in the film, and then they just chucked it out of the window with him arbitrarily upping sticks and moving to LA.

        The whole “dream job” thing felt like false conflict to me- so despite her having interned at a major paper in New York (where she’s told that the industry is contracting and lay-offs are happening) she’s all of a sudden able to (through a very tenuous connection) suddenly land a plum job at the SF Chronicle. It was doubly rubbish actually as it had already been established early on that she was a pretty lousy journalist (not being able to spell Municipal- which in this day and age is unforgivable).

        PS- you make fuck all in the Music Industry, particularly at his level, and even less managing ONE band unless they make it. However, you are hugely equipped to work in millions of other office jobs.

  37. koutchboom says :

    Wow I’m already up to the amount of movies I’ve seen by March last year. And last year I was actually trying to watch more movies.

  38. koutchboom says :

    Case 39 was ok. It works well made, nothing special. I liked how its at least something original for a horror film. While the story isn’t wholly original its at least not a remake/do whatever. There was a particularly pretty brutal fight at the beginning. I mean if anything shows that Alvert is a solid film maker, he just needs to get some more original scripts in his hand.

    I liked the conclusion of the girls story, it wasn’t some cop out like normally with these sort of devil child films.

    I liked Joshua better though.

  39. Droid says :

    Yesterday I watched…

    Mystery Men – Awesome because of Geoffrey Rush. If not for him it would be just so-so.

    Frankenstein – The James Whale version, which I hadn’t seen before. Very good. I’ve got Bride of Frankenstein to watch tonight.

    A bunch of Dexter eps. Season three is shedloads better than season two.

  40. Droid says :

    After watching The House of the Devil again on the weekend, I’d like to nominate Jocelyn Donahue as a candidate for Lois Lane in the new SuperBrit movie. If for no other reason than she’d look great in slow motion.

  41. Jarv says :

    Weekend watching:

    Fringe- storming last episode. Interested to see where it goes. We’ve discussed it at great length recently.

    GTD- as above. Risible

    The Hurt Locker- OK, not worth the nut stroking it gets.

    The Roost- good-ish

    Dead Space- OK

    A pretty meh weekend’s viewing actually.

    • Droid says :

      I call that a good weekends viewing. Love THL, like GDT and The Roost.

      • Droid says :

        My weekend viewing was automatically awesome because I double billed Predator 1 & 2.

      • Droid says :

        And I also watched new Fringe, 30 Rock, Community and Parks and Rec. I love P&R. Andy’s awesome. He had a great line in the show where he’s putting in Leslie’s flu symptoms into a website and he tells her that “This website says you have network connectivity problems”.

      • Jarv says :

        That is funny.

      • Jarv says :


        I normally do something like that just in case I’ve got a load of shit heading my way. I had nothing I’d describe as Awesome.

        Still, I did quite like The Roost, certainly one of the better horrors around.

      • Droid says :

        Have you seen Trick r Treat?

      • Jarv says :


        It didn’t ever really appeal to me for some reason and I keep hearing that it’s crap.

      • Droid says :

        Really? I kept hearing it’s good. I think Jonah said it was good.

      • Jarv says :

        Jonah usually knows.

        I can’t really remember what was said, I’ve just got a recollection of the consensus being “not very good”.

      • Droid says :

        Well, you’ve heard right. “Not very good” is an understatement.

      • koutchboom says :

        Speaking of Predator 2. I brought this up last time about what a great sequel it was and Jarv got all trigger happy about pointing out other sequels and I didn’t fully fleash out my argument.

        What I was trying to get across is that its one of the best almost straight to DVD sequels of all time. I say DTV because most theatrical release films have 90% of the same cast and pretty much its the same thing all over again, while DTV stuff is just usually the monsters the same but 100% of everything else if different. And Predator is one of the few movies that I can think of that pulled this idea of very well. If it hadn’t had floped there possibly could’ve been a Predator 3 with the Predators attacking some medevil place. It could’ve been an awesome franchise just sticking Predators where ever and seeing people fight them.

        The only other movie I can think of thats sort of like this I guess would be the Romero zombie films and 28 Days Later. I’m sure there more, but does that make more sense?

      • Jarv says :

        Depends. Practically every horror movie does that. Halloween 3 is a really famous example, but the rest of the series is basically Michael turns up kills random kids.

        Friday 13th- kids turn up at camp. Jason kills them.

        The Lep movies are the same, but DTV.

        If I think about it, then I’d probably be able to come up with some.

      • koutchboom says :

        Hmmm yeah that is true. Did think about that. That makes it sort of cooler because then its like they took Predator as a horror film instead of an action film. I remembered that Predator 1 scared the shit out of me as a child. I guess they took it as the ultimate Monster/Action film, which in turn made it one of the greatest horror films.

      • Jarv says :

        I think my expectations were too high for THL, frankly. Mrs. Jarv didn’t like it, I just thought it was overrated but OK.

  42. Frank Marmoset says :

    Seen that Nicolas Cage film Valley Girl at the weekend. Not bad. One of the most eightiesest films of all time.


  43. Frank Marmoset says :

    Here is some useful information for you to be interested in/bitch about:

    Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver is now filming.

    If you spend $200 at Full Moon’s merchandise website, you will receive an onscreen Executive Producer credit in the upcoming film Evil Bong 3D: The Wrath Of Bong. I wonder if that would be sufficient to get myself a listing on the IMDB?

    • Droid says :

      Haven’t seen either Gingerdead Man or Evil Bong.

      • Droid says :

        My first IMDB credit will be “Enabler” on the film Astrodykes vs Werewolves on the Moon.

      • Jarv says :

        Enabler? Drugs and hookers presumably.

        We really need to get writing that before the cast of Bitch Slap get too old and/or Casper grows the ability to say no to something.

      • Droid says :

        Enabler? Drugs and hookers presumably.

        What else? If, by the end of the shoot, I don’t have at least one “name above the title” cast member being admitted into hospital for a “hernia” problem after partying with 5 hookers and a suitcase full of blow, I’ll consider myself a failure.

      • Jarv says :

        I’m a bit worried though. The BBC told me this morning that drugs prices are rocketing. We may need a bigger budget.

      • Droid says :

        That is worrisome. But I’ll get a great deal, because I’ll buy in bulk.

      • Jarv says :


        A plan with no drawbacks.

        Now, someone get Julia Voth on the phone, stat!

      • Droid says :

        We do need to get a move on with that script. I have a bunch of notes from yonks ago somewhere.

      • Droid says :

        Astrodykes vs Werewolves on the Moon
        The Dyketective
        Mega Drop Bear
        Raging Murphy

        Quite a line up. Were there any others?

      • Jarv says :


        Do you think we can book Julia Voth on a four picture deal?

      • Droid says :

        Julia Voth, Casper Van Dien and Chris Klein can be the “Church of Chang players”.

      • Jarv says :


        Only proviso is that Klein has to say *character name* OUT in every film he’s in.

      • Droid says :

        If we cast him as Buzz Armstrong in ADvsWOTM we could end every communication with Houston with “Buzz Out!”

      • Jarv says :


        I don’t know where Klein fits in Raging murphy, though. Or Caspar for that matter. Both are far too thin.

      • Droid says :

        We will need a square jawed hero to battle the ginormous, blubbery monstrosity of Raging Murphy. Or am I imagining a different picture?

      • Jarv says :

        You are, but it doesn’t matter, because it sounds massively better than what I was thinking of.

      • Droid says :

        Well, I was imagining a King Kong style film where years of endless criticism has resulted in Don Murphy developing a severe eating disorder, growing to enormous size, and when he realises he’s the butt of everyones joke he hulks out, and attacks Hollywood. It all ends at the Oscars, with Casper (riding on the rampaging Murphy’s shoulders, think Starship Troopers when he jumps on the back of the giant bug) and beating him to death with a Best Film award statue.

      • Jarv says :

        I was thinking of a biopic of a sad fat man who despite being bullied in every day life somehow managed to get his films produced. However, the torrent of abuse he receives after the epic failure of “bestiality: A boy’s own tale” leads him into a spiral of comfort eating. Unfortunately, the food imbalances his hormones and he goes on a one man rampage around LA attempting to find some bastard called “Jarv” and some other bastard called “Droid” who he believes are responsible. in the end, fatty dies of massive Deep Vein Thrombosis when he tries to fly to london to get them.

        A better ending, though, is that the two poor reviewers lure him into the middle of Regent’s park and tranquilise him. They then rent a fork lift and transport his body to the zoo, where he lives out his days on a diet of KFC and children are encouraged to point and laugh at the fat man.

        Your version is much better.

      • Droid says :

        heh… That sounds like our attempt at Oscar bait. My one’s for people who like to see stuff blow up and a gigantic mutated fat man get beaten to death with a gold statuette.

      • Jarv says :

        Evil Bong is really funny. I overrated it ages ago, because I just had fun spotting the Full Moon cameos. However, any film where Tommy Chong takes a chainsaw to a bong is awesome.

        Koutch was going to do Gingerdead Man and Gingerdead Man 2: The Passion of the Crust. He hasn’t though, so I’m going to. I think the first one has The Busey in it.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well netflix took one of them off their list a while back so I didn’t bother. May be back now.

  44. just pillow talk says :

    Hey, more snow on the way…really hope my roof doesn’t collaspe. I was able to get some of the snow off my first floor roof, but forget trying to reach the second floor. Fucking winter.

    So I had a decent enough weekend viewing…

    12 Rounds, which was entertaining enough. To top it off, how they survive an exploding helicopter is priceless.

    Special, which was good, but Koutch, I will have to say I prefer Defendor. And it comes down for me the difference between Woody actually being aware of his surroundings and knowing good from bad, and Rappaport just getting his mind fucked over with the drug he was taking and having no idea what was right or wrong, mostly anyway. But shit, did he take a beating.

    And I was shocked to find that none other than Lep in the Hood was added to the instant queue. It’s quite amusiing, though not nearly enough Lep in it. Postmaster P, delivering the good message! And Coolio must have just wandered on set and they included it in the film. I do have to say I like Lep rapping at the end…

    • Jarv says :


      What about Lep shagging the tranny to death? There’s loads of Lep related tomfoolery in that film. For the love of god, though, don’t touch Back 2 Da Hood.

      • just pillow talk says :

        Heh…that was quite disturbing.

        I also like the genius plan at the end to dress up as some chicks so that they could get closer to Lep and give him the ‘special’ weed made with four leaf clovers.

  45. just pillow talk says :

    I’ve also finished the third book of the Temeraire series, and it’s gotten pretty interesting now. It’s picked up the pace and I’m quite looking forward to reading book four now…

  46. Bartleby says :

    Trick r’ treat is good.The 2007 movie, not the 1980’s movie. Reasonably so anyway. It’s the first anthology horror in a long time that didn’t suck. My review was here:


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