Burt Gummer’s Rec Room February 2012 Archive

A gathering place for firearms enthusiasts, paranoid survivalists and those who worship at the Church of Chang 

February, the coldest month of the year. Graboid Breedin’ season, and I’m not standing for it. Not when I’ve got enough weaponry to hold the old homestead almost indefinitely.

Disclaimer: This is the part of the Church that is the most no holds barred. None of it is intended with malice, and although it can on occasion seem a little bit fraught, it is banter rather than venom. So, be warned that this is like taking a naked swim in a piranha tank and not recommended for the faint of heart.

1,803 responses to “Burt Gummer’s Rec Room February 2012 Archive”

  1. Jarv says :

    Weekend viewing:

    Chopping Mall: Mint, hilarious robot related shenanigans.
    The Scream Trilogy- meh overall. Thank you Mrs. Jarv
    Mirrormask: I want to like this much more than I do. Think Neverending Story crossed with Labrynth.
    Pervert! Hilarious. Review coming.
    Animal House. Classic.
    Harry Potter and the camping trip of doom: I could actually be talked into Orangutanging this one. To say it’s terrible is an understatement. Gloomy as fuck, protracted, badly lit, badly shot, badly acted, boring, pointless, and why is Yates still pretending that there’s some sort of romance between Harry and Hermione. Awful, awful film, and it may well be the worst of the series.
    Valentine: Not as bad as I remembered it being, plus added points for killing Hegl.
    Meggido! Awesome.
    Devil in a Blue Dress. Quite like it.

    Very mixed bag.

    • Droid says :

      Along with the previously mentioned We Need To Talk About Kevin, Immortals and J. Edgar, I watched Jack and Jill. What can I say? Curiosity killed the droid. While, as expected, it was dreadful, I have to say that the commitment to the bad idea was strangely captivating. Sandler, Pacino et al never cheapen the film by winking at the audience like they’re perfectly aware how ridiculous it is and it’s all so beneath them. So I commend them on that. Can’t really find much more to be positive about though.

      • Jarv says :

        Fuck’s sake man! Why!

      • Droid says :

        hehe I just had to! I watched it while I was doing housework stuff, so a lot of it was background noise. I don’t know why, but I was terribly curious about seeing Al Pacino court Adam Sandler dressed as a women. I wanted to gawk at the train wreck I guess.

      • Jarv says :

        No excuse. Have you seen that stupid spy v spy love triangle thing? I think you should.

      • Droid says :

        No. Probably watch it at home down the line though.

        I have to say, Jack and Jill held a lot more interest than Immortals. I found Immortals astonishingly boring, horribly written, terribly acted and slow. Very, very slow. And the worst thing is, at least half the dialogue is obscured to a muffled mumbling because half the fuckers are wearing masks. Shit film. So Jack and Jill > Immortals, purely because it failed at its objective and J&J does exactly what it says on the tin.

    • Continentalop says :

      Chopping Mall is a schlock classic. I mean, how can you not like a movie with cameos by Dick Miller, Paul Bartel and Mary Woronov, and scenes like this:

      • Jarv says :

        Not to mention an early and typically jugg-tastic appearance from Barbara Crampton!

        Awesome fun, that film.

      • Continentalop says :

        I’m not a Wynorski fan but I will admit he got that film right.

      • Jarv says :

        He’s fucking patchy. Between the porn, there’s also stuff like Komodo v Cobra which was fairly rubbish. Although I am compelled to see The Devil Wears Nada.

        He’s banged out a shit load of films under various names.

    • Droid says :

      Didn’t you just watch all the Scream films recently?

      Haven’t seen Chopping Mall, Mirrormask, Pervert or Meggido.

      Like Animal House and Devil in a Blue Dress. Potter 7 was pointless. Treading water.

      • Jarv says :

        Halloween.

        I didn’t want to watch them, but due to having battered Arkham City recently, I felt a need to be contrite.

        I’m reviewing Chopping Mall tonight, and thinking about Mirrormask a bit more. I may review that one.

        Harry Potter 7 was rotten. I now think this about the series:

        1. HP1- shit
        2. HP2- Shit
        3. HP3- Good
        4. HP4- Meh
        5. HP5- Shit
        6. HP6- Shit
        7. HP7- Shit

        Not seen HP8, but what a frankly woeful series. One good film and one meh one out of 7.

      • Jarv says :

        On Scream. I now think 3 & 4 are equally dreadful. Although 4 suffers badly from a near fatal case of JFRS. Not to mention that it’s a glorified apple ad, and Williamson doesn’t understand 21st Century Horror.

        It could, however, have been good. The way to do it was to make Cheerverine the Randy Character. She’s already been outed as a horror nerd early on and having a hot, popular chick in the part would have been great. Dispose of that film club fuckhead altogether.

        Change the opening so that it’s Neve Campbell answering the phone. Have her filleted and left for dead.

        Killer 1 is now Gail. Gail has been languishing in Woodsborough going mad and unable to write. To revive her career she decides to “remake” the original murders. Cheerverine knows the rules, and with Sydney in a coma/ dead the survivor girl passes to her niece or whoever it was.

        Sydney also knows the rules, having lived through it, so in climactic scene at end, she comes to the house and kills Gail + Nerdy kid Gail is fucking to get him to commit murders. For the love of god, though, cast an unknown in that role.

        Much better film than the tripe we got served up.

  2. Droid says :

    I wonder why Dean Parisot didn’t kick on and make more films. He’s directing Red 2 (blegh!), and after Galaxy Quest he’s only made one film. I thought the strength of Galaxy Quest would get him more gigs.

    • Jarv says :

      That one’s weird. I can understand it with a few people, but him and Dahl really should have made a lot more.

      • Droid says :

        It’s not like he’s some wannabe arthouse struggling to get his offbeat little film financed kinda director. He’s a fairly commercial director. I just would’ve assumed he’d be more of an appealing choice if studios are looking for a gun for hire since GQ was such a strong film.

  3. Droid says :

    Downey Jr as Perry Mason? Why?

    Remember the good ol’ pre-Iron Man days when Downey Jr was an interesting actor?

    • Jarv says :

      Heh.

      Do we need a new Perry Mason? It reeks of his “new” Sherlock.

    • Continentalop says :

      I’m going to defend the idea of a new Perry Mason movie ONLY if the flick decides to stay closer to the original books and have Perry be a little sleazy.

      • Droid says :

        I think it could be rebooted as a tv show, and you could shift the character in that direction to make it different. But there are so many lawyer shows on tv that he’d end up just another tv lawyer. I can’t see the appeal of a big film, unless it’s like a Lincoln Lawyer type dealio.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s going to be sleazier, isn’t it. Because you don’t cast Downey otherwise.

        Still, however, I’d leave it on TV.

  4. Droid says :

    And also, I Am Legend 2? With the Fresh Prince? How? It’s either a prequel or they’ve reconstructed him via some DNA.

  5. Droid says :

    BTW, you around for beers this weekend?

    • Jarv says :

      Should be.

      Depending on how much we’ve got going out on my payday. *Cries a little*

      • Droid says :

        My bonus comes through on this pay. I’ll buy you a beer.

      • Droid says :

        Course it’ll be a half pint. It wasn’t a banker bonus.

      • Jarv says :

        Evidently not, then.

        hehehehe

        Should meet up somewhere in the middle this time- we’ve got people staying with us over the weekend. Where do you fancy?

      • Droid says :

        That’s cool. We could go around the Baker St area again. How easy was that for you to get to? Not really that familiar with the middle (which is kind of hyde park) and I want to avoid the West End like the friggin’ plague.

      • Jarv says :

        Piss easy to get to, and plenty of nice boozers in Marylebone.

      • Droid says :

        Sounds good to me. What times the thugby on?

      • Jarv says :

        4pm.

        So, if we meet up at about 2.30-3ish, then we can get a few medicinal beers in first to fortify me for England getting a hammering.

      • Droid says :

        Good good.

        In other news, there’s some new Final Fantasy game out. Have you played it?

      • Jarv says :

        XIII-2?

        I didn’t even know that was ready. I’m definitely getting that at some stage. FFXIV is fucked for a hell of a long time. The PC version was bugged to fuck, so Square postponed a PS3 release. Don’t think it will see the light of day for a year or 2.

      • Droid says :

        I guess that’s the one then. What’s different from the regular FF13?

      • Jarv says :

        It’s a direct sequel. They don’t really do them, and the other sequel X-2 was (as befitting something called X-2) shit.

        Usually each FF is in a totally self-contained world and tells one epic story, so in the case of X you’re in Spira trying to kill a fuck off monster called Sin.

        In XII, you’re in Ivalice and ripping off star wars trying to defeat the empire and divert the path of history.

        In XIII you’re in Cocoon fighting against an insane Theocracy and the gods that control it.

        XIII-2 is about the survivors (Which means that mopy little cunt Hope) trying to find Lightening (Main Anime chick from XIII). I’m sulking because I’ve just read that hot Aussie Bird and the other filthy Anime main character aren’t in it particularly. Although Aussie Bint couldn’t be as she died at the end of XIII.

      • Droid says :

        Gotcha. What’s the non-story stuff in Bats 2? It’s not wandering around looking for gold coins or something is it?

      • Droid says :

        Walking around looking for throat lozenges?

      • Jarv says :

        Combination- there’s messing around looking for question marks, but there’s a goal to it- you have to get them to catch the riddler and save the hostages. Then there’s getting Catwoman’s loot back, the challenges, solving the murders, catching the assassin, and so forth- it’s fecking huge.

      • Droid says :

        Oh, right. What’s the story then? Joker unleashing Arkham inmates?

      • Jarv says :

        No.

        Hugo Strange has sealed off the entire Island Arkham is on, and moved all the nutters from the Asylum and Blackgate Prison in. The super criminals have consolidated and taken different sections of the Island.

        Into the midst of this, Bruce Wayne is arrested and Selina Kyle is stealing. She’s caught by 2 Face who’s about to execute her, when Wayne breaks free, gets his batman clobber and goes in to kick some ass.

        In the meantime, Bats is shitting it about something called “Protocol 10”, and the Joker is dying of some horrible blood disease. He infects Bats with it, thereby forcing Bats to get the cure from Mr. Freeze. Freeze, however, is in deep shit as the Penguin has him hostage.

        That’s about all the preamble you need for it. But basically every batman villain I can think of bar the Scarecrow makes an appearance at some stage.

      • Jarv says :

        Almost all of the above takes place in the first hour of the game, by the way. I made it through the story in about 8 hours-ish.

        There are problems though, like the combat system is inordinately difficult in comparison to Asylum. You’ve got a huge raft of different takedowns and gadgets, but the enemies are much tougher. The cunts with shields and body armour in particular fuck your combos up good and proper.

      • Droid says :

        That’s probably the main thing I disliked about the first game. The button mashing fights. I’ve never really been any good at fighting games.

      • Jarv says :

        The element of stealth is fecking vital in City. Most thugs are armed with guns and shit, and you need to take them down without getting seen. Brilliantly, you can now drop smoke pellets and then zip up into the rafters in the confusion.

      • Droid says :

        Did you ever play Splinter Cell? The first game was a cracker and was based around stealth.

      • Jarv says :

        No, but I did play Metal Gear Solid extensively, and a variety of ninja games that revolved around not getting seen.

      • Droid says :

        MGS on PSone and PS2 were great. Tried the PS3 version and wasn’t able to get into it.

      • Jarv says :

        The PS2 version got a bit fucking silly in the last act though. To put it mildly.

        The original was one of the greatest games of all time.

      • Droid says :

        What was the one where you were in a jeep and you had to speed through a tunnel to escape at the end? I think it was the PSone version. I liked that one a lot.

      • Jarv says :

        That was the first one. Top fucking game, that.

        The sniper battle was brilliant.

      • Jarv says :

        Shit. Reading up on FF13-2, you can only use two characters. That’s gash man, I want to put together a party and whatnot.

      • Jarv says :

        Also, the other thing that’s really quite cool about AC is that you really have to use Bats’ detective skills- you track the flight of bullets, put together fingerprint ID and so forth.

        Unusual in a game.

      • Jarv says :

        Woooo!

        Buying that Ferrari, then?

      • Droid says :

        Yep. Getting that matchbox toy I’ve had my eye on.

      • Jarv says :

        Did you see this morning that Lloyds are having to give a load back?

      • Droid says :

        Saw it. You know what’s most disgusting? They’re only getting it back from 10 bankers, but the total amount looks like it’s in the 40-50% range of the total bonus pool.

      • Jarv says :

        I noticed that- and that the CEO’s bonus comprises some 40%+ of that.

        Appalling- Lloyd’s lost money last year, no bonus should have been given, but this is an old conversation.

      • Droid says :

        This bonus culture is strange. But if it must be done then I don’t mind if everybody gets a nominal bonus. Like, give everyone across the business a £500 bonus. To the minions, that would mean something. It’s unfathomable that they could consider a million pound bonus appropriate.

      • Jarv says :

        I don’t mind everyone getting a percentage of their salary as a bonus for exceeding targets. To get a bonus just for hitting it strikes me as wrong.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        how do they portray a ‘sniper duel” on a video game considering its a game of millimeters and not decisive action.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s also about the millimetres- you have a shot fired at you from a long way away, and have to seek cover. From cover you draw the sniper rifle, and it is whether you can line up the sniper before she puts one in your head.

        That game isn’t meant to be realistic, though.

        To be fair, though, once you’d survived it once you would never get killed again as you knew exactly where she was in the tower next time out.

  6. Jarv says :

    Man, the Guardian is full of wankers today. Apparently, they don’t speak English in Scotland. Which is fucking news to me, because I primarily speak just English and my whole family lives there, and they primarily speak English. Not to mention that I went to Scottish University for 4 years. What a load of shite.

  7. tombando says :

    More weekenders: Abduction aka I am number4
    jr. Boys that was bad. Sigourney must have been on set for 4 hours. This gets one goat hoof up on the almada scale. Terrible.

    The help. One of the Missus rentals. But you know what its pretty ok. Civil rights era chick flick, Emma Stone etc. Oscar loves these kinda things. Needed a giant robot or two.

  8. Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

    Something manly for you all today. Every punch thrown in Roadhouse. Testosteroney!

  9. Jarv says :

    Bloody quiet round these parts today.

  10. Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

    I think I have found my new favourite film! FDR: American Badass.

    It features nazi werewolves as well! Great cast, and looks totally stupid fun

  11. Bartleby says :

    you mentioned that ‘stupid spy vs spy’ love triangle thing. Stay away. Worst movie of the year so far, and I sat through Ghost Rider 2.

    http://popcultureninja.com/2012/02/19/this-means-war-review-nothing-fair-about-it/

  12. Jarv says :

    Droid- Seen Finn’s figures for the ODI series:

    40-3-134-13

    That is fucking incredible for ODI’s.

  13. koutchboom says :

    Anyone seen Soulkeeper? It looks like it could easily be Jarvs best film of the last decade.

  14. Just Pillow Talk says :

    Dead Snow is quite entertaining…I still love the “charge”.

    I watched Outlander again…such an entertaining film. I should have paired it with the 13th Warrior.

    • Bartleby says :

      I ws just thinking the other day it’s time for an Outlander rewatch. Love it.

      I’ve got it sitting here on blu-ray but haven’t cracked it since I bought it.

      • Jarv says :

        OUTLANDER!!!!

        Awesome.

        Anyhoo, Pervert! Review scheduled for tomorrow morning.

        Also, forgot to say, I watched Brick last night. What a load of shit. Christ that film is overrated.

      • Just Pillow Talk says :

        I hold Outland in the same regard as The Thirteeth Warrior..both of them are imminently rewatchable for me and I enjoy them as much, if not more, than when I first saw them.

        Like when Boromir offers Kainan a drink and says “good, eh?” after Kainan’s less than euthusiastic reaction to it, it’s a perfect delivery.

      • Bartleby says :

        I enjoyed it more too upon subsequent viewings–haven’t seen the blu-ray though.

        Boromir was a fave of mine, especially his use of the phrase ‘in me cups’ to suggest extreme intoxication.

      • Continentalop says :

        Have to agree about Brick. It’s BUGSY MALONE without the whimsy or fun. Veronica Mars is the much superior hard-boiled high school detective story.

      • Jarv says :

        I wasn’t enthused at the mumbling either and it made a right hash of the femme fatale

  15. koutchboom says :

    This Friday I will be seeing The Dark Knight on the biggest movie screen in the world…possibly universe. Then next week…..The Lorax? Eh I hope they keep replaying older movies on the Imax since this is the first time I’ve been within driving distance of one. They are showing TF3, but I actually caught that on IMAX.

    Heheheh I don’t really love The Dark Knight, I really really like it, but it’s still my like probably 4th favorite Batman movie.

  16. Xiphos0311 says :

    Jesus titty fucking Christ there is nothing more annoying than fundamentalist getting their undies in a twist about a fucking book. CALM DOWN you ignorant fuck holes I was eating.

    • Continentalop says :

      Hey some people really like the Twilight series.

      • Jarv says :

        What book are you talking about Xi?

      • Continentalop says :

        I believe he’s talking about the uproar over the burning of Korans in Afghanistan.

        Either that or Eat, Drink, Pray, Love.

      • Jarv says :

        Burning it? Why did they find a toilet paper consignment?

      • Jarv says :

        I’ve actually read a bit of Eat, Shit, Die and it’s one of the most truly awful books ever written. I’ll happily join any uproar over that.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        yep Conti that’s what I was talking about.

      • Continentalop says :

        Eat, Drink, Pray, Love? Wow, really?

      • Jarv says :

        Eat, Shit, Die?

        Mrs. Jarv was reading it, and I picked it up while waiting for her one night. Made it as far as the end of the first chapter before putting it down in disgust. Genuinely one of the worst books ever written.

      • Continentalop says :

        Actually I should probably not make light of it. You’re in the middle of the damn uproar right now.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Its not affecting me at all. A majority of the BS “protests” are centered around Bagram and Kabul in predominately Pashtun areas. I’m a few hundred KM south in a non Pushtu dominated area. Also because winter has been particularly viscous we’ve been feeding the locals for the last month and keeping their stock more or less intact so they like us. most of the ginned up protest are Taliban members or sympathizers anyways.

  17. Jarv says :

    Very quiet today. Where is everyone.

  18. tombando says :

    Enjoyed the pbs American Experience doc on Brother Bill last night. Seems just like yesterday but some of these folks were in the Clinton Whitehouse have really aged.

    About to read George Kennan,an American Life and one on the 1933 Senators.

  19. Continentalop says :

    I’ve never even heard of this movie until today but someone here (besides me) has to review Starcrash:

    I nominate ThereWolf, because I’m hoping somewhere it was released around his birthday (Pillow has been through enough already).

  20. kloipy says :

    Just so no one gets blindsided I started up my own blog as well. I will still be here as well so don’t worry about that. Linked here as well.
    if you want to check it out here’s the link
    http://kloipy.wordpress.com

  21. Droid says :

    Fucking London public transport. What a load of shit.

    Anyway, I watched Hugo, which was quite nice visually as you’d expect from Scorsese but the story didn’t really do much for me. Felt at times like a history lesson on silent cinema and the attention to that aspect of the story detracted from the main story of the kid. But anyhoo, it was alright. Certainly not worth the raves.

    Also watched Animal Kingdom again, which is mint.

  22. Jarv says :

    Funny how my emotions tie into sport. I was in a right mood yesterday because the England team for Saturday had been leaked to the press and it was a right load of bollocks.

    However, it’s just been announced, and it’s fucking exciting- all young, all good and all in form. I can now see us winning, and I was expecting being tonked yesterday.

  23. Just Pillow Talk says :

    FF2 review emailed.

    It’s amazing how bad that movie is.

  24. Just Pillow Talk says :

    Over the last couple of days, watched Mississippi Burning, Full Metal Jacket, and The Sting.

    The Sting is by far my favorite of those three.

  25. koutchboom says :

    Heheheh saw Ladyhawke for the first time last night, fun movie great score. But the bad guy at first I was like…hrmmmmm is that Alfred Molina….sadly is wasn’t. BUT about half way through ALFRED MOLINA SHOWS UP! HUZZAH! HUZZAH TO THE HIGHEST!

  26. Continentalop says :

    Final entry in Everything is a Remix, explaining what is wrong with intellectual property and patent laws.

    Everything is a Remix Part 4 from Kirby Ferguson on Vimeo.

  27. Jarv says :

    In Cricket news. Yesterday, England lost the stupid tip and run. Today, the aussies lost to Sri Lanka.

    • Droid says :

      Shit bowling at the death was Australia’s downfall. Good bowling at the death was Englands.

      • Jarv says :

        I really struggle to give a fuck about 20/20. It’s just, well, not cricket. It’s like some horrible bastard hybrid of Cricket and Baseball with added cringe factor.

        I also, and bear in mind I’m saying this after England whitewashed Pakistan, struggling to care about ODI’s in general. Thrashing them was no consolation for the dismal and embarrassing performance in the tests.

      • Droid says :

        Yeah, I’ve never liked 2020, and I’m also ambivalent about one dayers.

      • Jarv says :

        Why is Lee still playing for you? He’s about 900.

        And can you bring Mitch back, please? We miss him.

      • Jarv says :

        Twitch has a few films that I’m rooting out. Inbred sounds like silly horror fun (British, and we’re good at that) and Rec 3 is bound to be mint. Not sure about Ring meets Pulse though- that sounds a bit poo.

      • Droid says :

        Yeah, looking forward to Rec 3. But is it still a found footage thing? I thought I read that it was filmed as a regular movie.

      • Droid says :

        If you miss him so much, why not offer him citizenship? He could open the attack for you at the next Ashes.

      • Jarv says :

        No,we wouldn’t want to take him off your hands. Pity he’s injured, because he’s one of the most entertaining bowlers out there. When bowling for Australia.

        Gutted Punter has retired from the ODI’s as well. It makes him less likely to make next summer.

      • Droid says :

        C’mon. Rolf Harris is getting on a bit. It’s time for you to adopt another unwanted ex-pat. You need some fresh blood.

      • Jarv says :

        Sod off. We’ve taken loads of them. Our quota is full. Send him to New Zealand.

        He had, in terms of his own career, had the worst timed injury ever. He’ll never play for Australia again.

  28. Xiphos0311 says :

    Quote of the day from Dwight Shrute on The Office

    “The English peoples main use to day is judging American talent (bad English accent) you’re crap…you’re wonderful. They’re mean but incisive.”

  29. Jarv says :

    Man, I hate the fucking Welsh. Cunts to a man. This is the most important sporting fixture of the year for me tomorrow, and England had better win or I’ll be fecking despondent.

  30. koutchboom says :

    Yeah They Call Me MISTER TIBBS! Isn’t shit on In The Heat Of The Night. It’s ok for a police procedural, but Sydney seems even more annoyed to be involved in this case than he was with Heat. The stuff with his family was good, they should have focused on that, made it something about his son being killed are something personal.

  31. koutchboom says :

    Yeah what’s going to be weird about the Oscars since Billiam is going to host and he does the movie parodies…..what the fuck is he going to parody that will really register? Most of the big movies didn’t really stick into the public conscience. I mean what a Harry Potter 8 or Pirates 4 or TF 3 or Kung Fu Panda 2 or Fast Five parody would just be lame? It’s gonna have to be something like The Artist and The Help, which we know no one has seen but most people know about it and recognize it. Planet of the Apes reference and maybe Bridesmaids and Thor? But most everything else would fall flat? A GL or CA joke? But would anyone get a Hugo/Descendants/C&A/Anonymous/Tin Tin/War Horse/Tree Of Life/Week With Marilyn/Extremely Loud/Midnight In Paris/Moneyball reference? I guess a Bad Teacher, Twilight 4, Muppets and Puss In Boots would hit. Just odd, the whole year feels like Wolverines bit when he hosted The Oscars:

    “The Reader…..I did not see The Reader.”

  32. Droid says :

    Watched Unforgiven last night. Top film.

  33. Just Pillow Talk says :

    Watched Congo and Teen Wolf…and really, neither of them are good.

    Congo I forgot about boring it really is and I do remember not seeing the killing monkeys until the end, but geez, this movie was way too fucking long with characters that just are not interesting. It is not a so bad it’s good movie, no sir.

    Teen Wolf was really ruined by the horrendous sound track. Cheesiness to the ‘X’ factor.

    • tombando says :

      Ahhhhhh Congo is to me an entertainingly junky episode of Speeedbuggy but w lotsa goofy monkeys, Laura Linney, Joey Pants and Joe Don Baker goodness tossed in. You dont Need to ever see this, mind……but I like it. Put it on w the first Mummy and yer set to rock and roll.

      Something to jump up and down about.

  34. koutchboom says :

    Fuck yeah! The least French French movie of all time rightfully won best picture.

  35. Jarv says :

    Weekend’s viewing.

    Shambles that is England Rugby.

    The Ruins- complete and utter shit. Have an Orangutan of Doom.

    The Fighter- suffering fuck this is overrated. It’s OK, but Bale is wearying and Marky Mark is rubbish. Plus the boxing scenes are rubbish.

    • Droid says :

      I didn’t watch anything other than Unforgiven, the thugby and passing out somewhere in the middle of Moneyball.

      The Ruins is garbage. And it has one of those hateful endings too.

      The Fighter is pretty crap.

      • Jarv says :

        Apparently, hilariously, I passed out in the ruins and, with impeccable timing, woke up when she had her top off. Said “Boobs” and then fell asleep again.

        Top effort. I did rewatch it, and it was just shit.

      • Droid says :

        Your Booby Sense was tingling.

      • Jarv says :

        I was insanely pleased with myself when I found out about that. I’ve no recollection of it at all.

        With superpowers like this, I should maybe fight crime or something.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        SPOILER

        The Ruins? Is that the one that takes place in Mexico or South America and has killer vines or something? I don’t remember any boobs in it but then again i don’t really remember anything about it at all except that it had bright shinny moving pictures.

      • Droid says :

        That’s the one. I think they were unleashed early on, before they actually arrived at the ruins. In the early intro scenes. It’s the blonde chick that gets em out. It’s a brief sighting, which makes Jarv’s timing all the more remarkable. He is strong in the ways of boobage that one.

      • Jarv says :

        Spot on. Blondie flashes the norks early on. Not hopelessly early, because I had enough time to be bored rigid by Eurotrash douchebag and go to sleep, but well in the first third.

      • Jarv says :

        That’s the one.

      • Kloipy says :

        the Book of the Ruins is actually really great. The movie gets it all wrong though. It’s much better in your head

      • koutchboom says :

        I actually enjoyed The Runs, it was fun and well made. I mean comparatively speaking to all other botany based horror movies…except for Little Of Shop of Horrors that is.

      • Droid says :

        You enjoy the runs?

      • Jarv says :

        Hehehehehe

        Nice one.

      • Droid says :

        Personally I can do without the runs. Never a pleasant experience. hehe

      • Jarv says :

        Hideous Freudian typo that one.

        Ordinarily, I’d call you a boner for picking up on it, but it really is rather funny.

      • Droid says :

        Oh, let me have my fun. It’s harmless niggling.

      • koutchboom says :

        Heheheh I guess none of you remember when that movie came out. That wasn’t a type-o but very well let Droid have his fun.

  36. tombando says :

    For what its worth it was a decent ish broadcast, moved along relatively fast etc. Harold apparently threw a tantrum @ the nominees, boycotted the usual Harold spoogathon liveblog this time out. First time in 16 years he claims. So something good came outta this at least.

  37. Droid says :

    Just had a quick gander at the Oscar winners. Meh-la-friggin’-MEH! What a dull bunch of awards. Not that I’m faulting the performances, or some of the films that are winners, but there’s not one interesting or surprising winner in there.

    Kudos to Rango. Top film and thoroughly deserves it. Also, well done to Plummer. A good performance in a sweet film. But Jonah Hill was better. And Nolte was on another level again. It’s a nice pat on the back for Plummer though for a long and pretty decent career overall.

  38. tombando says :

    Yeah its not like there was a Titanic or Avatar out there. Hugo interests me, good to see the Muppets won as well.

    • Droid says :

      A lot of Hugo is very well made. It looks lovely, as you’d expect from Scorsese. But it didn’t connect with me.

      • tombando says :

        Had virtuallyno idea Nolte had even been nominated.

      • Jarv says :

        This is what I thought- I could have picked all of them aside from plummer in advance.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s really funny- the Guardian critics had to call the OScars in advance, and Bradshaw got almost all of them wrong.

      • Jarv says :

        Very patchy reviews for Iron Sky on Imdb.

        2nd of April 2012.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah I bet most people felt like Hugh Jackman when he hosted when it came to most the films nominated “The Reader….i did not see the reader.”

        Can’t believe Hugo got best special effects that’s a joke. John Logan must be the greatest person on earth to have on your pub trivia team. And if the Oscars had any idea of fun they would’ve pit the two Flight Of The Concords guys against each other in a more obvious fashion, and the funnier of the two should’ve won (meaning the other guy should’ve won for his song in Rio).

        And yeah your right Streep probably should’ve won for Doubt as well.

      • Droid says :

        Streeps been nominated 17 times. It’s astonishing really. That’s nearly a nomination every other year. Surprised she’s only got 3 to her name really.

      • Jarv says :

        I’m not. She’s been nominated for some right crap: The Deer Hunter and the French Lieutenants Woman not worthy of a nomination, A Cry in the Dark was Oscar Bait, Postcards from the Edge wasn’t exactly an eye catching role, everyone was nominated for The Hours and its shit, and The Devil Wears Prada and Julia and Julia were joke nominations.

      • koutchboom says :

        OHHH COME ON A CRY IN THE DARK IS OSCAR BAIT! Now you are shitting on Droids heritage mate. Hope a fucking dingo eats your baby tonight.

      • Jarv says :

        It fucking is. It’s a very showy role and hit a lot of feminist lefty buttons and whatnot at the time. I’m almost certain she did feed the baby to something in the Aussie bush. Or buried it. Or something like that.

        Based on pure speculation, that.

      • Droid says :

        Nah, she didn’t. You know a good media beat up as well as anyone, and that one was a fucking doozy.

        I barely remember the film. All I remember is Streep not being able to pull off the Aussie accent. Fuck, not many people can. It’s like South African. If you’re not a Saffa you just don’t sound right trying.

      • Jarv says :

        It was shades of Joanne Lees. I just thought the whole Dingo thing was a bit of a strange choice.

        Streep murdered that accent. She really wasn’t very good in that film at all.

      • Jarv says :

        Streep is up there with Jack and Katherine Hepburn now. Just needs that 4th.

      • koutchboom says :

        And seriously whose fucking love child is Jonah Hill? How did that tub of butter get nominated? I like him and all and I’m glad he’s in a race with John Goodman to see who can return back to their normal size the fastest, but like the Oscars I think he’s gonna lose that as well.

      • Droid says :

        I thought Hill was very good. There’s a number of performances I’d have nominated. Well, I did nominate them in by 2011 Favourites. Woody for example. That’s a blistering performance, but because the film didn’t catch on and get noticed (it didn’t deserve it, it’s not very good) it got overlooked. Same goes for Farina in Last Rights of Joe May. Top performance, decent film. No one’s seen it.

        So instead you get Plummer get a sympathy award. He was good, but it’s a light performance compared to some others.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah if Hill had won that award there probably would have been boo’s. I mean Moneyball is an Oscar Bait film as well. Anyone could’ve done that role. Imagine being the two guys Brad and Hill’s character’s are based off of (i know Hill’s character pretty much got changed but the idea is still there). But imagine being those two guys:

        “Oh you are making a movie based on our lives?”
        “Yes”
        “WOW! Whose playing me?”
        “BRAD PITT!”
        “OH WOW THAT’S AWESOME!!”
        “AND ME WHAT ABOUT ME?”
        “ummmm Jonah Hill?”
        “WHAT THE FUCK!”

      • Jarv says :

        Are you still rectifying the situation K-boom?

        You should do Sophie’s Choice. Fucking overrated film, that, and it’s claimed to be a classic. She is good in it, though.

      • Jarv says :

        Are you working again, Koutch?

      • koutchboom says :

        Naw I’m living off of the dole at the moment.

      • Droid says :

        Hugo had some neat tricks up it’s sleeve when it came to effects. The swooping shot through the station, the train crash, and the tower itself were all pretty well done.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah wow two shots good for it, but they looked fake as fuck. Transformers 3, Apes and Tintin looks more realistic and less mocap than those scenes.

      • Jarv says :

        I can’t help but think that the best Special Effects I saw last year were Rise. To be honest.

      • koutchboom says :

        Naw it was TF3, I bet Rise’s effects won’t hold up. I do feel bad for Rupert though because he got like 0 credit for that film. I bet most people just think Weta did the whole movie. That’s the PJ propaganda train running for ya.

      • Jarv says :

        I’ve seen Rise twice, and it holds up. If anything it actually looks better at home.

        Considering Caesar is front and centre for almost the whole film, and in close up a lot, it’s really stupendously good work.

      • Droid says :

        I don’t rate TF3’s effects. Firstly, it’s more of the same. It’s shot too close, it’s often incomprehensible. The effects aren’t used in an inventive way. Hugo’s effects were used to create atmosphere and build momentum. TF3’s effects were used to bludgeon the audience into submission.

        Rise effects were good.

      • koutchboom says :

        If not TF3 then Harry Potter 8 at least, it’s so weird how much love PJ’s gotten for those 3 flicks and how little Harry Potter got. But the Hugo VF win is laughable, it’s like the Oscar purposely wanted to alienate the audience.

      • koutchboom says :

        I mean they let the fucking unheard of cunts from Bridesmaids present some awards….but not the fucking Harrys Potter’s gang?

      • Jarv says :

        I’m not surprised at that, to be honest. Least the fat cunt didn’t win.

      • Droid says :

        The entire Bridesmaids debacle is astounding. Who thinks that movie is funny? It’s worse than The Hangover, and I’m no fan of The Hangover.

      • Jarv says :

        I know a fair few women that think its hilarious and I’m being sexist by saying that it’s bound to be shit.

      • Droid says :

        My missus hated it. It’s actually on par with the maligned “comedies” of 2011 like Hall Pass, The Change Up, Horrible Bosses and Bad Teacher.

        Man, 2011 was a terrible fucking year for comedy.

      • Jarv says :

        I fucking hated Bad Teacher so much. Orangutan of Doom that cunt. Definitely. Also hated The Change Up. Refused to watch Turdmaids, Hall Pass and Horrible Bosses.

      • koutchboom says :

        I enjoyed Hall Pass, funny movie. One of the more realistic comedies in a while. If Bridesmaids hadn’t been about such a worthless suffering cunt…it may have been OK. Seriously had any of the other ladies been the lead it probably would deserve the hype….and if they cut about 40 minutes of it. Jesus 2 hours?????

      • Droid says :

        The problem I believe with HP8 and TF3, is that we’ve seen the effects before. There’s nothing “special” about HP8’s effects. Nor TF3. Rise at least had something quite unique.

        I think it’s a joke that Tintin didn’t get nominated in the animation category but Puss in Boots did. That’s as ridiculous as nominating Excretely Loud and Incredibly Dense for Best Picture… oh, wait…

      • Jarv says :

        Wasn’t Bridesmaids also nominated.

        Tintin not being put up was a joke.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah Tin Tin should’ve gotten a Nom and possibly a win. Though I did call Rango winning it back when the trailer came out, and Rango goes along with the party lines as to what shall win this year, in the words of the great Stuntcock “Hollywood self faceblast”. Rango is nice and all but it’s just a bunch of references strung together with no emotion….at least Tin Tin was inventive on it’s own. Also the Oscars continue with their hate of women by not giving the win to the most successful film of all time from a Female Director

      • Droid says :

        Rango may have been all references, but it was very witty and the references were in no way pandering to the lowest common denominator. Movies like Puss in Boots is all references, but it’s less inventive, more obvious. Okay, so they have bad guys named Jack and Jill. A more clever film would’ve used that as a jumping off point for gags, but there wasn’t a single J&J related gag that I recall. It’s just lazy. That film was as entertaining as it was purely because Banderas is so good (he’s just playing a more roguish Zorro).

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah but a Jack and Jill reference is not the same as some old hollywood faceblast reference which is what Rango was. Plus Puss In Boots was for kids…Rango was for movie nerds. And I’m not really hating on Rango, the movie actually won me over in the end, and I’m glad that ILM stuck it to Pixar right out the gate. Because Pixar also lost the FIRST Animated Feature Oscar to Shrek. So I’m just glad Pixar is going down. Also Dreamworks getting the two noms….when has Pixar ever been able to pull that off?

      • Droid says :

        What was the other DW movie? Rango was Nicklodeon.

      • koutchboom says :

        Rango was ILM’s first all animated movie, Pixar originated at ILM. DW did Puss and Kung Fu Panda 2 as well….aka the highest grossing movie of the bunch.

      • koutchboom says :

        Heheheh GK Films produced both Rango and Hugo, fucking John Logan that mother fucker.

      • Droid says :

        From the writer of Bats!

      • Jarv says :

        Bats! (gotta have the exclamation mark) is awesome.

      • Droid says :

        Bats! is one of my favourite so bad it’s good movies.

      • Jarv says :

        Bats! is entirely worth it for the scene with the mad scientist screaming into the dark “MY BABIES” it’s fucking genius in its failure.

      • koutchboom says :

        I did not care for Bats!….which now looking at it is probably John Logan’s fault that hack. Where are we on the Soulkeeper front? Have you gotten it from Lovefilm yet?

      • Jarv says :

        Completely forgot about it. I shall see if Stagevu has it first.

      • Droid says :

        Were we supposed to be watching it were we?

      • Jarv says :

        I was.

        I forgot. I’ve still got GIANT PIG to watch, but the Missus is very anti Giant Pig.

      • Droid says :

        But it’s the good GIANT PIG isn’t it? Now there’s a movie for you…

        GIANT PIG vs Bats!

      • Jarv says :

        That just sounds too awesome for mortal man to comprehend though.

        It’s both the good one and the really bad one. Which is problematic, because the really bad one features a nekkid lesbo colony and very little GIANT PIG.

        There’s almost a total absence of GIANT PIG in it. But lots of rednecks and titties.

      • Droid says :

        Been a while since you did one of your lists. Top Ten Movie Mad Scientists?

      • Jarv says :

        That is an absolutely storming idea. I shall do that.

        I want Herb West for one, Dr Jekyll from Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde for another, Bats! guy…

        Need some more though.

      • Jarv says :

        Googling a logo picture for that is really annoying.

      • Droid says :

        Do they have to be mad of the murderous kind? Doc Brown?

      • Jarv says :

        I thought about Doc Brown. But they should really.

        Also, Doc Brown’s time machine actually, you know, worked proeprly. Not to mention that it didn’t try to kill anyone.

      • Droid says :

        Yeah, and Doc wasn’t really “mad”. More of a flake and an eccentric.

      • Jarv says :

        This is really hard. Needs serious thought.

        I should include one of the Frankensteins.

      • Droid says :

        Jack Bauer in Dark City?

      • Jarv says :

        I don’t think The Fly counts. Frankly. I’m not sure Dead Ringers does either.

      • Droid says :

        Clearly bonkers that bloke. The most OTT mad scientist since Re-Animator.

      • Droid says :

        Ah, right. Man I forgot about that movie. KFP movies just go in one ear out the other.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah what was also great about it, is how the makers of the movie acknowledged the one weak point in the pretty flawless narrative and rectified it with the opening menu on the blu ray. Epic movie.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well LOTR showed that you could do the same thing three times in a row and get more Oscars. I think the TF visuals in 3 are a vast improvement over the first two. As for the Potters…..eh should’ve been a sympathy win. Does that series have any oscars? I think it’s got like 3 maybe. Hehehe I think it’s the last 9 Berg movies have a total of 20 Oscar Noms between them and 0 wins (you think they are trying to tell him something?).

      • Droid says :

        I don’t think the first two LOTR got wins did they? I think it was pretty much acknowledged that ROTK would get the awards for the whole series.

      • Jarv says :

        Which, in a way, is Ironic, because it wasn’t a good film by any standards. Should have been City of God that year.

      • koutchboom says :

        It got like best costumes or makeup for all three.

      • koutchboom says :

        Ohhh hrmmm maybe not. It got best score, make up, cinematography and VISUAL EFFECTS for 1. Sound editing and VISUAL EFFECTS for 2. Than everything for 3, so my point is even more correct it got best Visual Effects for all fucking three.

      • Droid says :

        The visual effects are a lot more effective in LOTR than in TF. Hugo too for that matter. The scope of the effects serve the story and build a world pretty much. The effects in TF are the story and destroy a world.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah but we are talking about getting accolades for doing the same thing OVER and OVER again. Whereas at least TF 3 is a lot better than the first two.

      • Droid says :

        I don’t think it is personally. I much prefer the first film to either of the others.

      • koutchboom says :

        The biggest problem I had with TF 1 was when the star of your movie is a Semi Truck and you have the second most impressive action scene involving a semi truck of the year….then you’ve failed. TF 3 at least had the most impressive Semi Truck action scene of 2011.

      • Droid says :

        Ah, but it did have the best scene to involve a murderous soft drink machine. The best of its kind since Maximum Overdrive.

  39. tombando says :

    Well Jonah Hill was playing a mixture of a couple guys, the main one being Paul Podesta who was the GM of the LA Dodgers for a couple years. He just didn’t work well w/ actual people, you know-was forever emailing every day type stuff like ‘you’ve been traded’ or whatever to players. Small wonder he didn’t last there more than a couple years.

    Billy Beane well he is a good 3-4 inches Taller than Brad Pitt from the looks of things, but I thought Pitt was perfectly fine.

    If Bill James had been cast then you’re looking at Oliver Platt in a beard and glasse, more or less.

  40. tombando says :

    Oh I donno, the F/X from Big Robots (Hitting Each Other Repeatedly) were great. Hate Mikey Bay all you wanna-but that stuff was good.

    • koutchboom says :

      Yeah seems like you gotta get the best visual effects with the first movie if you wanna just get the lazy win for the next couple. BAHAHAHAHAH The Golden Compass beat TF1 out for Visual Effects???? Two wasn’t even nominated in that, but it was in Sound editing.

      • tombando says :

        Yeah Golden Compass had Maw and Paw Rugg going at it if I remember right…

      • Droid says :

        Golden Compass? I guess the Polar Bear fight was decent.

        That wasn’t a very good film.

      • Bartleby says :

        Thoughts on the Oscars…

        Totally boring to watch. The best bit was the Chris Guest mockumentary guys doing that take on the Wizard of Oz test screening. It wasn’t a gem, but it was far and away more entertaining than Billy ‘Bloated Walken’ Crystal and the dead-eyed celeb presenters. Of which, none were more wooden and disinterested than Christian Bale. I wish he had just taken out the flask and swigged it right there and then spit it into the first row. His contempt was palpable.

        The wins: Yawn. Who cares? And I liked most of those movies. The Artist is a great film and deserved the win. If Hugo had taken it, that would have been fine too. Neither would have been an interesting upset. Only two of those movies would have made it interesting if they won: Tree of Life or Extremely Loud, the latter because it would be such a debacle. Man, that was a crappy movie.

        The special effects thing. Rise was great but there’s a varying quality to the fx. The ones that do Caesar are great, but I suspect the thing that hobbled their chance for a win is the same thing that held Serkis back from getting a worthy nomination; it’s hard to categorize who’s responsible for the effectiveness of that character. There are fx shots when he’s young and with all the apes on the bridge that aren’t nearly as effective.

        I think with Hugo, the fx component building the world, it’s seamlessly integrated (even when it’s more storybook than totally gritty real) and as Droid said, those effects push the story forward. If you liked Hugo as a movie, then its safe to say part of the reason it works is the way the fx are blended into the whole.

        I think I know what Droid meant by ‘more of the same’ with Transformers, but here’s how I see it:

        The three LOTR movies are using some of the same fx over and over again, but due to the changing scenery of the films there’s some different nature to the way the fx are realized.

        In all three Transformers films you are looking at fx that are exactly the same in their design, function and execution. After the first, they don’t break any new ground—they just get a bit more complex or expansive.

        In LOTR, they are clearly trying to push the fx forward each time and in different ways—In the first film one could easily argue that the FX win is for things like the shrinking of the hobbits and the integration of the sets and the digital panning through the castles, etc. Stuff like the Balrog and what not are good, but were still in the process of being perfected.

        In the second, there’s wonkiness with the Ents and Wargs, but Gollum is a fascinating and effective piece of character work. It again pushes the medium forward.

        In 3, again regardless of what you think of the film, they definitely upped the ante when it comes to the big battle scenes. After ROTK, big battle scenes were ruined because everyone started trying them in the digitally created format.

        So, although there was improvement of the older techniques with each film, each film also brought something new to the table.

        I don’t quite see that being the case with the Potters or with Transformers.

        Streep did not in any way deserve that award. She’s a good actress but she’s a bit overrated by the Academy. But they clearly like ACTING as opposed to acting; if it seems natural or subtle, then they assume the person wasn’t trying very hard. You can see Meryl Streep ‘acting’ in Iron Lady and somehow that makes it quantifiable.

        I assume this is the same reason that Jessica Chastain gets nominated for her fine but unremarkable role in The Help where she’s ACTING crazy and off kiler, and Take Shelter is ignored despite the fact she gives an extremely difficult and completely effective performance as a woman trying to help her husband struggle with a break from reality. One is obviously the product of someone who has full command of her skills and the other was a colorful lark.

      • koutchboom says :

        Naw worst presenter for the night goes to Jolie, she fucked up like five times. I did like Rob Bottin’s work on her arms though.

      • Jarv says :

        Rob Bottin’s work on her arms

        It’s remarks like that that make me wish we had a recommend button.

  41. Xiphos0311 says :

    Mad scientist suggestions:

    Dr. Caligari

    Dr. Frank N’ Furtur

    Dr. Frankenstein though he did pull it off.

    Dr. Moureau

  42. koutchboom says :

    Next challenge flick:

  43. Bartleby says :

    you see the Lorax yet K?

    I see Project X tonight. Not much hope for it.

    • koutchboom says :

      Yeah pretty stoked for Project X, Todd Phillips usually delivers and hopefully by the end of the week I will have seen all of Michael Bacall’s written works. I’m actually only seeing 21 Jump Street again this week, and The Dark Knight on the world biggest movie screen. We had something come up on Friday and had to change our tickets.

      • koutchboom says :

        I wish I was able to find a site that at least listed all the free screenings around here, because I’m thinking even if I couldn’t get tickets for it, I could just get them from some other city and hope they don’t scan which they don’t seem to 75% of the time anyway. I’ll probably catch The Lorax a little later so we can take our niece to see it on the world biggest movie screen. Was it good?

    • tombando says :

      Was that the one w/ the monkey and Ferris Bueller-?

  44. koutchboom says :

    Heheheh also further proof the Oscars just don’t give a shit….the clip they used to show the now Oscar winning Girl With The Dragon Tattoo gives away who the killer is, at least I think so IDK who the killer is but it was pretty obvious from the clip that that guy is the bad guy. Kind of surprised that I didn’t even know/hear that until now anyways.

    • Bartleby says :

      that clip doesnt give away the killer…

      • koutchboom says :

        Ehhh according to what I just googled he is the killer.

      • Bartleby says :

        nope…just watch the movies. the swedish version will tell you that much. that scene is not tied directly to the Vanger mystery.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well SPOILER PERHAPS: In the clip is shows Stellen Sauceguard doing something evil to Daniel Bond…so the assumption is he’s the killer…..so Stellen isn’t the killer?

      • koutchboom says :

        Heheh like I didn’t even know Stellen was in the fucking movie until that clip.

      • Bartleby says :

        oh wait..what clip K? I think I might be misleading you…I was thinking of the clip with Mara Rooney having the guy tied up…. I was nominally watching the show, so I didnt see every clip they showed..

        no, if it was a clip with saarsgard then I retract what I said.

      • koutchboom says :

        Oh yeah that other clip, I actually missed that one but read somewhere that it was the start of the rape or something. Hehehe how do you feel about Dragon and Social Network editing team winning back to back Oscars? The clip I’m talking about was for win Dragon won best editing, it showed Stellen either in a gas mask or putting on a gas mask gassing bond in some basement looking room.

        There is something weird about Fincher’s attitude about it all, at least in regard to Social Network. I mean I don’t know how much he was involved with the creation of the website for the Social Network, but on there the sub menus are broken down into little squares with pictures of the movie on them. And on the Cinematography square is a shot of that time lapse Seattle Skyline shot, which in Finchers commentary he says was just some stock footage they bought. I wish I knew that before the Oscars last year to see if that was the same clip they used for the nominated clip. Just odd.

      • koutchboom says :

        I think really that was the one upset Oscar of the night, I guess knowing they won it last year it’s not so huge but you sort of thought Hugo and Artist were going to walk away with everything.

  45. koutchboom says :

    Echo did you see Act of Valor? Judging from the box office Xi saw it at least three times. I suspect a full break down of it’s flaws momentarily.

  46. koutchboom says :

    YEY!

    the film premieres on March 2nd, 2012 – Dr. Seuss’s 108th birthday.

    • Bartleby says :

      Hmm. The Lorax is OK, but barely. It’s disappointing. I enjoyed Despicable Me, and this also has a really lovely visual pallette and that kind of detail where all of the little side creatures are more amusing/endearing than the primary players—the bears, the fish and the birds steal the show away from everyone else.

      The problem here is they took a 16 page book which was about environmental awareness and moderation in the face of industry and turned it into a 90 minute tree-hugging treatise where every cut-down tree is a travesty, and any ambition or industry immediately leads to a world where some crazy midget with a moe-cut wants to keep the skies filled with smog so he can sell his popular bottled air.

      That’s not even a facet of the original Suess Lorax, and the character himself is more of a side character. He’s not the main attraction by any means.

      I liked Ed Helms, but could have done away with the Thneedville storyline and it would have been a stronger movie. And of course the last twenty minutes have crap 3D chase scenes ‘just because’.

      • koutchboom says :

        I was surprised with how much I liked Horton hears a Who. I don’t really recall The Lorax book at all though.

      • Bartleby says :

        Horton Hears a Who was actually a much better movie than The Lorax. I was surprised by it too, although I don’t think it’s fantastic.

      • tombando says :

        Jonah Bart what was up w/ Oprah getting an Oscar(TM) I don’t follow….

      • koutchboom says :

        She got some honorary Oscar at a separate awards ceremony. They give them out to people every year, and it was actually last year.

      • koutchboom says :

        The Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award whatever that is. In fact there wasn’t even a lifetime achievement award this year? Maybe that’s why I wasn’t super bored at some point.

    • tombando says :

      I think the whitewashed version of this is called the Clorax……

  47. Bartleby says :

    Movie Mad scientists Jarv, in addition to the ones Xi and Droid mentioned. I also second Daniel Schrieber from Dark City. Looney tunes all the way, and added bonus that he’s secretly the guy who ultimately saves the day.

    .For Moreau, particularly Charles Laughton from Island of Lost Souls..positively INSANE..

    … the character that Diane Ladd played in Carnasaur. You don’t get crazy than that, wanting to impregnate human women with dinosaur embryos so the dinosaurs will once again rule the Earth and replace man.

    Rottweing from Metropolis, although it’s a toss-up if you use him or Caligari.

    Dr. Prateorius in From Beyond.

    Dr. Gangrene from Killer Tomatoes.

    Claude Rains in The Invisible Man.

    Anton Arcane in Swamp Thing

    Vincent Price in The Tingler

    Seth Brundle, although I think he already got mentioned..

    and I didnt want to mention him, but I guess I do… that eff-up from original Human Centipede…I dont think you get crazier than him.

  48. Xiphos0311 says :

    One other suggestion Thomas Dolby after all he was blinded by Science

    • Jarv says :

      Needs serious thought this.

      So, I’m going for so far, West, Pretorius, Jekyll, Frankenstein, Strangelove.

      They’re the easy 5. But I clearly need to watch more mad scientist movies to carry on with this list. So I’ll put it back in the coming soon lot.

      • Jarv says :

        Going to do Rottwieller today. However, need good logo picture. People stuff all sorts of crappy pictures of dogs on-line and they’re all cute and not useful ones. Or funny ones.

      • Droid says :

        Damn, look at this evil bastard.

        Crazy Dog

      • Jarv says :

        I laughed at that one.

        Going for this though:

        Drunken dogs

      • Jarv says :

        Fucking hate Alsatians.

        Big bastard animals with a filthy fucking temper.

      • Jarv says :

        Watched 127 Hours last night.

        Meh. Franco was good, the film wasn’t particularly riveting.

      • Droid says :

        I thought that was really good. Franco was brilliant. No Danny Boyle Third Act MeltdownTM. I liked it.

      • Jarv says :

        The problem for me is that I knew what was coming and when. I did think Franco was really good, but I thought he was a bit of a douchebag.

        Just didn’t really interest me that much.

      • Droid says :

        I don’t think he was a douchebag at all. Cocky and reckless, sure. He was a young guy, thought he was invincible. Hell, I’ve done shit when I was younger that I look back on and wonder what the hell was I thinking? Anything could’ve happened. And in the case of Ralston, he was unlucky enough to have it happen to him.

      • Jarv says :

        I thought he was a tit, actually.

        Young and reckless etc, but I found him a bit obnoxious in the early scenes. The other thing was that I didn’t particularly like the split screens.

        It was OK- but I think I probably needed to see it completely unspoiled at the time. It’s too long to come to now.

      • Droid says :

        Nah, I didn’t think he was. He was just a bit of a flake, going his own way. I’ve met a lot of people like that when I’ve travelled.

        What do you mean you “needed to see it completely unspoiled at the time”? What time? When it first came out?

        I saw it at the cinema. You could feel the entire audience collectively wince when he breaks his arm.

      • Jarv says :

        What time? When it first came out?

        Yes, exactly that- It’s 2 years since it came out, I think, and for some reason I never got round to it.

        Tittery is in the eye of the beholder, anyhow.

        Did you see England won the hit and giggle yesterday? No consolation, mind, and I hope they don’t think that was a successful tour now.

      • Droid says :

        No, I didn’t. Meh to 2020. Getting spinwashed in the Tests guarantees they won’t consider it a successful tour.

      • Jarv says :

        I’m not even as enthusiastic as meh. It was on in the pub last night. Interestingly, won by good bowling again protecting a substandard total.

      • Droid says :

        But I did see they dumped Morgan for the Sri Lanka tour. Can’t you guys please keep “faith” in him for a couple more years so he can play in the Ashes?

      • Jarv says :

        Only if you bring back Mitch.

      • Jarv says :

        And Punter, for that matter.

      • Droid says :

        Punter will have just about hit his prime by the next Ashes.

      • Jarv says :

        Can you bring back Hughes as well?

      • Droid says :

        Only if you bring back Geraint Jones.

      • Jarv says :

        Ok if you bring North back as well.

      • Droid says :

        I’ll agree to the terms if you bring back The Harmy.

      • Jarv says :

        Can’t I’m afraid. Under the Geneva Convention, only one completely hopeless wayward fast bowler is allowed on the pitch at any one time. Australia are still under sanction for the last Ashes.

        Wouldn’t want the UN to send a peacekeeping force to Australia.

      • Droid says :

        *cough*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*cough*

        Geraint Jones, he of the Australian upbringing and Welsh heritage, as well as 34 England Test caps, is going to play for the country of his birth, Papua New Guinea, in the World Twenty20 qualifiers in the United Arab Emirates next month.

      • Jarv says :

        I knew about that, actually. I nearly put that he’s no longer qualified for England.

        A plague on Fletcher for him. He was shit, and Read and Foster were easily better, but Fletcher just wouldn’t pick them.

      • Droid says :

        It was a stretch that he was ever available for England. The tenuous link of a Welsh passport. Why would you bother? He was complete shit.

      • Jarv says :

        Fletcher hated Read.

        It’s officially the “England and Wales” Cricket Board. Annoyingly. Luckily, we’ve not got any of the sheep bothering fuckers playing now.

        Simon Jones I’ll let off.

      • Droid says :

        You’ll let him off because he was actually good. Funny how that works.

      • Jarv says :

        Astonishing isn’t it. He’s one of the few taffs that I’d allow across the Severn before I set up the Doomsday style Wall and Gun turret thing.

      • Droid says :

        It keeps getting better!

        Jones was born in Kundiawa, Papua New Guinea and moved to Australia with his parents, who were originally from Wales, soon after he was born. He grew up in Toowoomba, Queensland and lived in Australia until he was 22. Upon his return to Britain he trained as a pharmacist in Abergavenny, Wales. He is married to Jen, a former canteen worker at Kent County Cricket Club.

        hehehehe

      • Jarv says :

        I’d never heard of the cunt until he played for England. I’m almost half certain he was an Aussie sleeper agent sent to derail our Ashes challenges.

        He fucked it up in 2005, where we won despite his best efforts, but he was back on song in 2006.

      • Droid says :

        Probably. It was a double win for us. We rid the country of a knobhead and you guys get the chance to MBE a guy who can consistently catch five out of every ten cricket balls thrown directly at him.

      • Jarv says :

        who can consistently catch five out of every ten cricket balls thrown directly at him.

        Dunno who the fuck that is, but it’s not Jones- he’s never caught 5 of ten in his life. Sounds like Brad “Iron Gloves” Haddin nowadays.

      • Droid says :

        I didn’t say they were thrown at pace. If you throw them to him in a nice, underarm, loopy manner then he’s good enough to take five from ten.

        Fair due to Haddin. He’s getting on a bit. Not the player he used to be. Should hang up the gloves for Australia though.

      • Jarv says :

        If you throw them to him in a nice, underarm, loopy manner then he’s good enough to take five from ten.

        4 at most. On his best day. Ever.

      • Droid says :

        To reiterate, fair due to Haddin because he’s 34, and his keeping has literally only started to become noticably suspect in this last test series. Jones on the other hand could catch a cold and tried his hardest to lose the Ashes in 2005 when he was about 28. So the comparison is unfair.

      • Jarv says :

        That’s why I said nowadays.

        I agree entirely with that assessment of Jones. He was a useless, talentless cunt and got in the side because Fletcher thought, for some reason, that he could bat. Mind you, Fletcher also said he’d have picked Luke Wright for the last Ashes, and gave caps to Saj Mahmood.

        We’re well shot of him now.

      • Droid says :

        Sure. I just take exception to any comparison to Jones. I don’t recall a more obviously talentless cricketer playing for an international side. It was baffling to us why you guys were picking him. One theory was that he was gay and gave good head, which Fletcher liked.

      • Jarv says :

        We didn’t know either.

        And to be fair, Jones isn’t the worst we’ve picked. You won’t remember them, but we churned through some complete garbage in the 90’s. Habib, Ealham, Irani, Adams,

        all on a par with Jones.

        Dreadful.

        The only comparison to Jones that I can think of was Steve Smith in the last Ashes, we genuinely could not work out what the fuck he was there for, as he was obviously so talentless on every level. Picked as a number 6/ all rounder, Clarke actually had to drop him down the order in Sydney to protect him! It was insane.

      • Jarv says :

        Although, and this is worth noting, they’ve got rid of Smith quick sharp whereas we persisted with Jones for years.

      • Droid says :

        That’s true. And we were in the same boat RE: Smith. No matter how hard we tried, we couldn’t work out what the fuck he was supposed to be good at. It seems he magically appeared on the team sheet one day, made a dick of himself for a few games and then fucked off back to obscurity.

      • Jarv says :

        I think every nation has a few of these though- just not as extreme as those two examples. For example, what the fuck is the point of Suresh Raina for India? He’s still currently going, and is apparently likely to be recalled to the test side. He’s just so, so useless in tests. My Indian mate hates him with a vengeance.

      • Droid says :

        It was a case of “This guy must be good at something. Let’s give him half a dozen games in each format to find out what the fuck it is.” it was the grand experiment, and hopefully taught the selectors one thing. Don’t fucking experiment.

      • Jarv says :

        I distinctly remember them saying it was because he had “ticker”.

        Mind you, that group of selectors didn’t have a fucking clue during that series- they went through a shit load of players, bought Mitch in and out, picked clowns like Doherty and North, then Smith, Hughes was bought back when he shouldn’t have been.

        It’s no wonder they were sacked.

      • Droid says :

        I thought he was going to open the bowling for England after you decided to offer him citizenship? He can play alongside all the other imports.

      • Jarv says :

        Naff off. We’ve plenty of substandard batsmen. Don’t need to add another.

        What’s that? He’s a bowler.

        Well, fuck, could have fooled me.

      • Jarv says :

        Anyhoo, Rottweiler review published.

  49. Lord Bronco (@LordBronco) says :

    Well, fellas, been busy. Playing the Crap out of Dead Space 2-thanks Jarv for recommendation-The Fully macked out force gun is a thing of glory.

    But here’s the other thing-I’m in a movie: http://www.screen-movie.com/

    Assembly edit done in a week and a half-going to pitch to global distributors.

    I’m just in the pickup cell phone footage, but I got my editors and their girlfriend in the movie, and definitely on the Blu-Ray extras.

    Who says twitter sucks?

    Watch-Screen-DIE!

    :-))

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