Burt Gummer’s Rec Room October 2011 Archive

A gathering place for firearms enthusiasts, paranoid survivalists and those who worship at the Church of Chang 

October. We’re now two years old, and still going strong. Need some big fucking guns though. Really fucking big fucking guns. Nothing less will suffice when hunting giant prehistoric worms in the desert.

Disclaimer: This is the part of the Church that is the most no holds barred. None of it is intended with malice, and although it can on occasion seem a little bit fraught, it is banter rather than venom.

2,239 responses to “Burt Gummer’s Rec Room October 2011 Archive”

  1. koutchboom says :

    Well finally caught up on Breaking Bad, 30 episodes in 3 weeks looks like I may be able to get back to my regularly scheduled programming. Recorded Candyman/The Children/Teen Wolf for Halloween weekend. Also looking forward to a Razor’s Edge double feature. OF course this also means I have to watch Hatchet 2 and Sucker Punch.

  2. koutchboom says :

    Also finiched Luther season 2 last night….ehhhhhhhhhhh man that show is good but that was a weak ending compared to season 1. The shots they did of the killer going ballistic were fantastic but the final confrontation was weak. I think because Luther really had become a man with nothing to lose anymore after season 1, they sort of had no where to go with him in this 4 episode mini. Now I wouldn’t mind seeing him in some weekly CBS programing and I hope they pick up that remake soon!

    Also watching the Luther finale right after the Breaking Bad finale is was always going to be merely ok.

    • Bartleby says :

      bad monster movie news, Koutch: Sector 7 sucked. Makes The Thing prequel look golden. Special fx were great, rest was garbage.

  3. koutchboom says :

    UH OH DROID THEY MADE A BURIED SEQUEL!

    • Jarv says :

      More like a rip off.

      Good old Sorbo.

      • Bartleby says :

        Sorbo is an amusing sort. I really don’t mind him, kind of like him, although he’s not exactly a good actor. He does make a good deal of inexcusable crap. I like that he and Michael Hurst were both in Bitch Slap. Where’s that sequel btw?

  4. Just Pillow Talk says :

    Koutch…I have dish too and it seems like a good deal, that blockbuster pass. The only question is…what movies do they have available streaming into your DVR. Clearly their library will not match netflix, but is it more recent movies, older movies? You do get a bunch of additional channels with the pass, along with one dvd out at a time through blockbuster.

    I have to double check my DVR to see what model I have…it’s HD, but only certain models are compatible with wifi…and of course you have to buy a wifi bb connector for $25. But since it’s only $10/month for the pass, over the long run it will be cheaper than netflix and they should be continually adding movies to their streaming library. I may have to do the jump to it too, seems like a good deal.

  5. Just Pillow Talk says :

    Oh, and Jarv, emailed latest review to you.

    Only The Eagle remains….YAY ME.

  6. Jarv says :

    Fuck’s sake.

    Like a cunt, I’ve let my cinemageddon membership lapse. And what’s more annoying, is that they’re full again.

    Also, I think Stagevu is broken.

    The reason I mention this, is that I’m starting the reviews up again- the Planet of the Apes series continues, and I want to do such gems as moontrap.

    I NEED Cinemageddon to get the schlocky goodness.

  7. koutchboom says :

    Hrmmm looks interesting:

    From one of the French misery porn directors…I wonder how good the Biehn factor is? Someone thought it was the best.

  8. Jarv says :

    Have I got the patience to inflict Conquest for the Planet of the Apes on myself.

    And more importantly, why did I decide to do this idiotic series chronologically?

    At least 3 of them are below 1 chang.

    • Just Pillow Talk says :

      Um, because you watch anything and everything, no matter how dire.

      Seems you’ve gotten a bit of the monkey in you now with these series completion goals…

      • Jarv says :

        It’s going well.

        So far I’ve procured Conquest, Battle and Escape. The Original is on Lovefilm On Demand, which means I just need Burton’s POS and Beneath.

        From memory for the whole series, they go:

        Rise: 3 Changs
        Conquest: 1/2
        Battle: 0
        Planet: 3 1/2
        Beneath 2
        Escape: 0
        Remake: 1/2

        This is not going to be fun, as I’ve already done rise.

      • Jarv says :

        Conquest and Battle are such shit.

        SUCH SUCH SHIT. Fuck. It’s no wonder they killed the fucking series. Although, now I think about it, Escape is complete crap as well.

        FUCK. Stupid Rise of the Planet of the Apes. I’d never have done this if that had been as crap as it should have been.

      • Jarv says :

        In Cheerier News:

        Stagevu has both Prom Night (Jamie Lee Curtis) and Prom Night 2: Hello Mary Lou (result).

        I need Prom Night 3, though. That one’s the best.

      • Jarv says :

        I did not know there was a Prom Night 4.

        Fast going off this idea. As the remake is utter shit (I’ve seen it).

        That means at least 3 of them, if not more are terrible.

      • Jarv says :

        Jonah, have you seen “The Dark Power” from 1985?

        I’m picking shit out, and it’s got an awesome cover.

      • Jarv says :

        This looks awesome. Bet it’s shit though.

        Demonoid

      • Jarv says :

        Luckily Escape came in as unsupported.

        I suppose I could start it anyway…

      • Jarv says :

        Change of plan.

        Stagevu has all 4 Night of the Demons films.

        I like the first one…

        I wonder how close I am to 100% Linnea Quigly

      • Jarv says :

        ALRIGHT!!!!

        FINALLY!

        I’ve managed to get my hands on Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers. Been trying to get that for ages.

        HUZZAH!!!

      • Jarv says :

        Arse.

        Battle is also unsupported.

      • Jarv says :

        Fuck it. The whole box set is only £7

        I’ll just buy that instead.

      • Jarv says :

        Actually, I think I will wait until January and buy the Evolution Box Set.

        Awesome. Still, I can do Night of the Demons and Prom Night in the meantime.

        I still can’t find Scanner Cop 2.

  9. MORBIUS says :

    What’s the sequel called …

    Semenoid?

  10. Continentalop says :

    Hey, I like Conquest of the Planet of the Apes. To me it is the second best in the series (Planet kicks everyones asses).

    I especially like the not so subtle analogy to race relationships in America at that time. As a kid seeing it on TV in the 70s, it was pretty intense shit.

    • Jarv says :

      I haven’t seen it in 15 years, and may well have missed the point when I was a kid. But we can agree that Battle was fucking dreadful though, Conti, surely?

      I always had a weird thing for Beneath, but I know that’s not very good. Fucking Morlocks worshipping a nuke, FFS.

    • Bill Madlock says :

      Oh Battle is pretty bad, unless you are a Claude Akins fan(I am!), and enjoy watching him lurch around the tree tops after Rowdy Roddy towards the end in that, urm, epic battle there.

      No seriously while I like seeing those two AND Paul Williams AND John Huston, clearly this is a case of where the end of the series was in sight and they needed to put it to bed.

      Nothing to jump up and down about, in other words.

      • Jarv says :

        That bit in the tree is laughably bad. There isn’t really a proper battle either.

        Rubbish film. Went on too long with the prequels, and while at least Conquest has merit, Battle does not.

  11. Continentalop says :

    Hey, has anyone here ever seen a movie called “I Saw the Devil”? I imagine Bart has. Missed it this weekend at the New Beverly, wondering if I should regret it.

  12. Xiphos0311 says :

    I think this short film looks great, has a haunting score and tells an interesting story without any dialogue. It’s about 7 minutes long but its worth a look it’s put together really well.

    • Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

      That was plain amazing! Love it!

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Tigh according to the web site they made Zombie in a Penguin Suit on a budget of 1500 dollars. If that is true then they put every bit of that 1500 to use. the list of camera and computer equipment was impressive sounding. I have no idea what it all means but it sounded like they could do the job.

      • Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

        If that cost $1500, then it is only because he got so much for free. That is not a $1500 film lol. The make up/prosthetics for that costs more than that.

        He will have probably cashed in all his favours. Which is good for him, coz thats how you do it. I still do the odd freebe for a friend. Because when I make my masterpiece, I will be asking for the favours back 😉

  13. Jarv says :

    Droid, when’s your tintin review going up?

    • Droid says :

      If I finish it today, I’ll put it up tonight. I’ve got another review that just needs a once over as well, but there’s no hurry for that.

      • Jarv says :

        Cool. I’ll hold off.

        Starting Night of the Demons series, after the very unexpected success of part 2.

        Check this out for a rating system: On Doc P’s suggestion on the first NOTD review, I give you….

        Flags of Portugal out of 4

        Portuguese Flag

      • Jarv says :

        Guardian’s at it again:

        http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2011/oct/27/the-adventures-of-tintin-review

        They really have a very unpleasant anti-boner for this film. This is now the third negative review of it.

      • Jarv says :

        Genius:

        The Guardian’s response to this film is truly hilarious. I know why though. It’s because Tintin writes for another paper.

      • Droid says :

        Haven’t bothered to read any of those. The snippets you and Jonah posted were so far off the mark it’s the flames on optimus fanboi bleating all over again. Three articles in a week all attacking one film? That smacks of having an agenda to me. Does the guardian usually do multiple reviews? I’ve never read them.

      • Droid says :

        It’s 83% on RT if that means anything. That’s taking into account the european critics who would be more difficult to win over.

      • Jarv says :

        I know.

        I don’t care though. It’s a boring piece of critic/ oscar bait.

        Honestly, it’s astonishingly dull.

      • Jarv says :

        For contrast, Bradshaw, the most recent Tintin panner, gave TTSS 5*.

        I gave it 2 out of 4. I prefer my rating over someone who I consistently disagree with looking through his history.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s been over longer than that.

        In regards to your second question: No, they don’t. However, what the Guardian has form for is massively misreading the public mood, and instead of stopping and going away to think again, commissioning multiple articles to support the initial flawed premise. In this case it’s Tintin, but it could just as easily be the Euro in Comment, or “Wayne Rooney is crap” (which he is) in Sport.

      • Droid says :

        I haven’t been monitoring it. It seems like its pretty frequent, so a week was just an approximation.

        Rooney isn’t crap. He’s just not as good as people like to think he is. And he’s a huge wanker.

      • Jarv says :

        I meant crap in an England shirt. He’s a decent club player, but a terminally flawed (mostly temperament) international. And he’s a huge fugly wanker with the charm of a cesspit.

        Just pointing out what they tend to do- there is a “drop Rooney from England” article today, but it’s about the third now.

      • Droid says :

        The fanciful, wishful thinking Brits (the same people that called the early 00’s team the “golden generation”) like to put him in “best in the world” category. Except that he’s not even close. Messi, for (an easy) example, is absolutely miles better than him. And he seems like a nice kid as well.

      • Droid says :

        In an England shirt, Rooney has the temperament of a sexually frustrated drunk teenager. He lashes out and tries to hurt people when things don’t go his way.

      • Jarv says :

        He’s worse than that.

        Look at his performances in an England shirt when it matters:

        1)2004- Breaks foot. England were actually doing really well up to then.

        2)2006- Injured, broken foot pre-tournament. Comes back. Sent off in QF.

        3)2008- Thank-fucking-fully failed to qualify

        4)2010- wanders around SA complaining about being bored. Blames off-field problems for playing like shit and that he didn’t score in 4 matches against the might of teams like Algeria.

        5)2011- Plays like an utter cunt all qualifying. Sent off for petulant retaliation in final game. Picks up 3 game ban, which eliminates him from the group games.

        In the meantime, other players have excelled in an England shirt (notably Walcott’s hat-trick) but are dropped to accommodate “Wazza”.

        And he’s a cunt.

      • Droid says :

        2)2006- Injured, broken foot pre-tournament. Comes back. Sent off in QF for kicking someone in the balls

        If I remember rightly.

      • Jarv says :

        Close.

        Stamping on someone in balls.

      • Jarv says :

        The fanciful, wishful thinking English press (the same people that called the early 00′s team the “golden generation”)

        Fucking hype over reality.

        That “Golden generation” shit was actually coined about Portugal originally, then appropriated for the 2000-2004 England side (who, to be fair, were really good in comparison to the current shower).

  14. Droid says :

    Looks like the terminally boring sport of baseball actually delivered an entertaining game last night. A last batter home run to win or somesuch.

    • Bill Madlock says :

      Yes it was. I am (semi-) rooting for Texas. AL vs. NL and all that.

      But, ‘boring’? This from fans of a sport where the highlight of the game is where someone actually Kicks the ball into the net(!), after a triple OT 1-0 barnburner between England and Portugal. Woo Hoo!!!!!

      Yes Baseball is a take it or leave it proposition no doubt.

      • Jarv says :

        This from fans of a sport

        So, so wrong.

        I’m not a football fan any more. The national side have killed my interest in the game, and I think it’s full of cunts. It’s got to such an extent that I don’t even bother to check where my home town side are in the league or if they’ve won on the weekend.

      • Droid says :

        I’m not a huge fan of soccer, Bando. I’m astonishingly bored by it on most occasions, except when Australia’s trying to muscle their way past a “football nation” at the world cup. I concede that watching baseball is much like watching cricket. Unless you are raised with it, it’s almost impossible to get into.

        Also noteworthy is that it’s only the live sport of baseball that I find tedious. I played it at school and enjoyed it. Same with tennis. Can’t watch it on tv, but it’s a lot of fun to play.

      • Droid says :

        Out of the major Yankie Doodle Dandy sports, my preference is NFL. I find that very enjoyable to watch on tv and at the stadium (never had the chance to play it unfortunately), as the strategies and tactics are more immediate.

      • Jarv says :

        I quite like watching baseball on TV, cannot abide NFL or (particularly) Basketball.

      • Droid says :

        Bores the living shit out of me. It’s also to do with the fact that each team plays sixteen thousand games a year, so one game doesn’t really seem to have much meaning. I used to be obsessed with basketball back in the early-mid 90’s. But it’s pretty dreadful nowadays.

        NFL is great.

      • Droid says :

        Also, i love baseball movies for the most part. Well, most sports movies in general really.

      • Jarv says :

        The striking/ steroids/ endless soap opera of it puts me off a bit nowadays.

      • Droid says :

        It’s got to such an extent that I don’t even bother to check where my home town side are in the league or if they’ve won on the weekend.

        That’s because it was beginning to feel like groundhog day.

        Bottom…

        Lost….

      • Jarv says :

        Ah-ha!

        Just checked and

        THIRD!!!

        On 7 game winning streak. Best start to a season since 1996!

        Fuck.

      • Droid says :

        The striking/ steroids/ endless soap opera of it puts me off a bit nowadays.

        Baseball? Basketball? NFL? You have to narrow it down!!!

      • Jarv says :

        All American sport, but in this instance Baseball. It’s gotten completely out of control. Almost every day there seems to be another Baseball player up for steroids: A-Rod, for example.

      • koutchboom says :

        Eh I think they should make steroids mandatory in sports these days.

      • tombando says :

        Relax guys each to their own. Just hadda dig at you just because. I can’t get into hockey for example and I know folks swear by it. But I can watch tennis-go figger.

      • Jarv says :

        No worries tom.

        No offence taken.

  15. Droid says :

    The new MI4 trailer looks fun. I’m all about the fun this year!

    • Bartleby says :

      man, there’s hope yet I’ll like one of these movies.

      I hear ya about fun. Six movies in the past seven days (theater) and only one of them was really any ‘fun’. Guesses as to which one that was.

      Will this be the first live action thing Bird has done?

      • Droid says :

        I believe so. Fun? What have you seen? In Time… That Martha May thing… Anonymous…

      • Bartleby says :

        Yea, should mentioned which ones… Braindead this morning.

        Actually, it was Puss in Boots which I thoroughly expected to dislike.

        http://www.moviemobsters.com/2011/10/28/review-puss-in-boots-2011/

        Dreamworks has really been upping their game as of late. This is the fourth of their recent movies (since Rango was mostly Paramount) that I’ve really enjoyed.

      • Jarv says :

        Crikey

        Glowing.

      • Bartleby says :

        Yea, Im trying to catch up on reviews…just finished take shelter, but have to do rum diary, in time, anonymous…

        probably as good as time as any to say, one of the things slowing me lately has been news that Baby Echo is on the way now, so that’s definitely been a factor lately in the business of my schedule.

      • Droid says :

        Huzzah! The Church of Chang gains another disciple! Congrats to you and Mrs Echo, Jonah.

      • Jarv says :

        Let the indoctrination commence!

        Congratulations.

      • Droid says :

        You’re next, mate. No time like the present.

      • Jarv says :

        Fuck off.

        I keep my blood alcohol level too high.

      • Droid says :

        I wouldn’t be surprised if Mrs Jarv has a freezer stash of harvested Jarvian swimmers hidden away in plastic tupperware. There’s no way you’re getting out of it.

      • Jarv says :

        I wouldn’t either.

        *groan*

        It hasn’t helped that loads of our friends are spawning, and more annoyingly there isn’t a screaming, puking brat amongst the offspring. One in particular keeps posting vomit inducing videos of HIMSELF on bloody facebook with his daughter.

        It’s making the last few of us panic a bit. He’s in dire need of either stomping until he stops doing it, or for a testicle transplant (to give him a pair).

      • koutchboom says :

        Congrats Echo.

      • Bartleby says :

        ok, I think I posted that in the wrong place… ‘With you droid’, and ‘wait for dvd’, was not intended to followup a pregnancy conversation. It was meat to follow Puss in Boots discussion.

      • Bartleby says :

        Thanks guys! We have been letting the little one listen to excerpts of Tremors, Army of Darkness and Big Trouble for the past several weeks.

        Doctor was initially alarmed when the heartbeat turned out to be thumping in time to the Jaws theme.

      • Bartleby says :

        thanks koutch! Are there plans for an eventual little boom in the works?

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah we are both trying to kick our meth habit first though.

      • Droid says :

        Sweet jesus. Don’t encourage him!

      • Bartleby says :

        that sounds farfetched Koutch. That would ostensibly make you the first meth addicts in history to wait on having children. .

      • Jarv says :

        This may be the funniest exchange in ages:

        Yeah we are both trying to kick our meth habit first though.

        That would ostensibly make you the first meth addicts in history to wait on having children.

      • koutchboom says :

        ??????? As apposed to all the meth addicts that just keep having children? What’s far fetched is someone on meth wanting to clean up their lives PRIOR to having a kid, most of them just have kids…then keep doing meth and having more kids. We’re gonna do it right.

      • Bartleby says :

        no, that was exactly my point Koutch. First off, it was sarcasm, but aimed at the fact Im always hearing news stories or seeing firsthand cases of meth addicts with kids. So, yes, I meant farfetched in the idea that meth addicts would stop to consider anything at all other than more meth before doing something.

      • koutchboom says :

        Ahhh very well. This joke has gotten too real. Meth really is a problem in America kids.

      • Bartleby says :

        yes it is, actually. When I was a special ed teacher in the city, I saw entirely too many kids bearing the result of their parent’s bad choices in that area.

        Nothing like getting a call that says one of your students died of asphyxiation because she–being autistic–fell with a jump rope around her neck in the backyard and died slowly over the course of hours while her parents laid in the house blitzed out of time and space.

      • Jarv says :

        When I was a special ed teacher in the city,

        Christ! You live in Baltimore don’t you?

        Fuck me, talk about making life hard for yourself.

      • Jarv says :

        Off now.

        Ciao.

      • Bartleby says :

        Jarv, I do. Or rather, my wife and I live in a suburb on the outskirts of Baltimore. Very nice place, decent place to raise kids, conveniently the theater they host most of the screenings at is in walking distance of the house, and its about 25 minutes from the city without having any of the fallout that would normally come with that.

        But, back in 2004-2005, I was teaching at a school in the city, and I was going to Johns Hopkins for my special ed degree. After that last year, where I had to deal with the deaths of 3 different kids–and the abuse of far too many others–I deciided that I couldnt do it. I was getting married, and it was emotionally draining, and I decided to leave it behind.

        Try

      • Droid says :

        Baltimore… The city of women too thick to realise when men just aren’t into them.

    • Bartleby says :

      with you Droid, and don’t take this the wrong way, you could probably wait for dvd or whatever. It’s fun, but I think you have mentioned before that you aren’t the biggest fan of the kids-centric ones. And this one is more kid-centric than most.

      I think part of that is trying to make penance for how un-kid friendly the last two or three Shreks were. Great, cmon billy and sue, lets go see a movie about an ogre having a midlife crisis with jokes about pinnochio’s penis.

      • Droid says :

        Yeah, I won’t be seeing it at the cinema thats for sure. I’ll acquire it down the line. I did think PIB was the only good thing about Shrek 2 though. Banderas is perfect for him. Donkey was the only good thing about Shrek. Okay, I liked “the muffin man” exchange as well. Nothing was good about Shrek 3. Haven’t seen the fourth one. I really despise Shrek.

      • Bartleby says :

        Ha, yea, and they don’t hold up at all. The third was abysmal and the fourth I never even saw, and that was with the free critic gig. I just had no interest.

        But they are trying again lately. How to Train Your dragon, megamind, KFP2 and PIB have all been either good or very good.

      • Droid says :

        They’re better, no doubt. But I still wouldn’t rate any of those over 2.5. HTTYD and MM = 2.5. KFP2 = 2. The only Pixar I’d rate under 3 are Cars (and the first 15 minutes of Cars 2) and the TS sequels.

      • Jarv says :

        I’d rate Nemo as 1. Rat as 2. Cars I’d give a 1 to as well. Clichéd and derivative.

      • Droid says :

        I love Nemo and Rat.

        Cars is a 1.

      • koutchboom says :

        I’m telling you all go back and watch the first 20 minutes of Cars 1, then turn it off.

      • koutchboom says :

        I actually liked Cars 2 better than Nemo. I know i’m like the only one that enjoyed Cars 2 but if I was a kid I would’ve loved that movie. I DO wish they hadn’t copped out at the end, at least Cars 1 had a meaningful ending, Cars 2 ending was defiantly trying to please ALLLLLLLLL countries which was lame. Cars 2 really is an odd fucking movie that’s what I loved about it, it did feel like a Saturday morning cartoon.

      • Droid says :

        I think this is actually the big failing of Cars, from our perspective. They’re the only Pixar films aimed directly at kids.

      • koutchboom says :

        Hehehe see I’ve got no problem with Cars 2 being aimed at kids, this weird thing about Pixar is how everyone assumes that it’s meant for adults not kids. I mean kids should be allowed to have something of their own in cinema. I think Cars 1 wasn’t aimed ENOUGH at kids. But in terms of the greater good of toys/comics/books/movies/tv shows aimed at kids….Cars is some of the best. It is a cartoon after all not all of them have to be aimed for the geek still longing to love cartoons. And yes you can say Toy Story/Rat/Incred/Megamind were all aimed at kids, yes that’s fine and good but they are obviously also trying to please all audiences, while I think Cars 2 and to a lesser extent Cars 1 was aimed directly at kids.

        Though it’s kind of crazy with Cars 2 with how complicated the plot gets I’m not sure if a kids will fully get it, I think the whole Bond plot was an attempt to engage the parents. Kids would enjoy Cars 2 for the graphics and action.

      • Droid says :

        No, I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. Aiming a film squarely at kids is fine. But it might explain why adults, such as myself, consider it weak. Rat/Nemo/TS/Monsters/Bugs all successfully appeal to both kids and adults. As you say, kids love Cars. Just look at how much money it’s made from merch. That’s why they made a sequel.

      • Bartleby says :

        I seem to remember you being more positive on Dragon at the time. I’d say its at least a 3. I guess again, there’s the question of what a rating means. I see 3 as being the start of ‘this is a good movie’ and 2.5 being ‘this is above average, maybe very good in some aspects, but it misses the boat of ‘good’, and 2 being mediocre and still a failure, and anything lower being crap.

        With the Chang system, I think the Orangutan and zero have essentially shifted the ratings. I give things I hate one star, mostly because I feel like there should be something there, but I’ve given a few wretched ones half stars. This may account for why Im surprised that so many movies get low ratings here.

      • Droid says :

        2.5 for me is a decent movie. Anything over that and I’m getting into movies that I’ll revisit. For example, I gave both Centurion and Solomon Kane 3 changs. And I really like both of them. 3 for me is quite a big jump from 2.5. Maybe too much, but any more and I’m getting into the best of the decade territory.

      • koutchboom says :

        Heheh Dragons was a better Viking/medieval movie than Centurion.

      • Jarv says :

        I agree with this to some extent. For me, the best of the decades all rank 3.5 at minimum (Tsotsi). Practically everything else on that list I’d give 4 to.

        The jump to 3 for me is huge. If it’s 3 or above, then it’s something I really recommend.

      • Droid says :

        Prob my top 6 or 7 are 4, then 8 to 15 are 3.5 and 16-21 are 3. Off the top of my head. I’d have to check the list again.

        Handing out max ratings isn’t my style. I find it dilutes its effectiveness.

      • Droid says :

        For example, I’ve only seen one 4 chang film released last year (Inception) and none this year. But I’ve seen three 3.5s this year.

      • Jarv says :

        I think 4 to Inception is ludicrously generous. It’s fundamentally flawed.

        A prophet was the only 4 I saw last year. This year, I haven’t seen one, but I’m wondering about whether I was half a chang too mean to both Kill List and Norwegian Wood.

      • Droid says :

        Nah, it’s not generous at all. Just because it isn’t misery porn doesn’t make it flawed.

        A Prophet is also a 4 chang film. I forgot about that.

      • Jarv says :

        No, the wank soap opera and misplaced last third are the flaws.

      • Droid says :

        Nah, it’s all good. You just hate yourself too much to feel anything but miserable. Misery loves company and all that.

      • Droid says :

        You haven’t started sticking yourself with a pocket knife any time you feel good about something have you?

      • Jarv says :

        I fail to see how some cunt moping over his dead wife isn’t annoying. It’s a massive misstep during the heist, that’s for sure.

      • Jarv says :

        I only did a top 10.

      • Jarv says :

        Outside of the best of the decade list, and the Underrateds which I don’t grade,

        I’ve given out more maximums than I thought:

        Flash Gordon, Dead Ringers, The Fly, Videodrome, American Werewolf in London, Life of Brian, Starship Troopers.

        I’ve given out exponentially more Orangutan of Dooms though. The reason being the quality of film I watch and that I tend to be simultaneously more generous to crap (I can find almost any reason for schlock to avoid a 0) and stricter (the only one of those to get a 4 was Flash).

        I’ve started finding alternatives for 0 that aren’t the Orangutan of Doom. To get that now, the film has to not only be 0 Chang worthy, but it’s also got to piss me off in some way. So, for example, I rated Faust with a Ramirez of Insanity. If I’d done that a year ago, I’d have OOD’d it.

        I also have a tendency to either overrate or underrate films- Splice I gave an inexplicable 1 to, and Norwegian Wood a 3 and even Kill List, the best film I’ve seen all year, I docked half a point.

        I quite often regret these ratings, and wonder if I haven’t been too harsh in retrospect. It’s like I find excuses not to 0 something, and then excuses not to maximum it.

        Most films I review come in between 1 and 2.5- sometimes absurdly mean with the 2.5’s as well.

      • Bartleby says :

        Cars 2 is the only pixar that fell below 3 for me. I reasonably enjoyed cars 1. I also love nemo and ratatouille. Especially Ratatouille.

      • Bartleby says :

        see, I disagree, because I think thematically Cars is probably the least for kids. Except the theme of them all being cars of course. The first is a cartoon version of Capra film or Doc Hollywood. Who would greenlight something that was pit ched as ‘the cartoon version of Doc Hollywood?’ But because its cars,t hats what the kids eat up.

        I can see Koutch’s reasoning for Cars 2 being a fave if he were a kid, but I think that might be more from his adult perspective looking back. We too three kids–ages 5-7–to Cars 2 (Cars is their fave movie) and they were bored and occasionally terrified (Bruce Campbell getting torched). Thewy kept asking me ‘why are the bad guys doing that?’ I couldnt find a good way to tell a five year old about clean burning fuel conspiracies so I said ‘Because they are French.’

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah I said Cars 1 the concept was aimed at kids….but the plot and theme wasn’t. But Rat is still the least furthest aimed at kids, I don’t know what the fuck a kid would enjoy with that film or get from it.

      • koutchboom says :

        I saw Cars 2 in a packed theater and all the kids seemed to like it. It reminded me of some of the more complex kiddie fair from the 80s that was a little bit darker. I know if I was a kid seeing Cars 2 I would’ve loved it.

        But still as far as best KIDS film this year it has to be Rio.

      • Bartleby says :

        You mistyped that. You meant Rango.

        Actually, Rio was okay. Cute, colorful, the very definition of a movie ‘just for kids’.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah I’m saying KIDS movie, I don’t know any kid that enjoyed Rango. Everyone loves Rio.

  16. Bartleby says :

    I think fun is lacking recently because you either have people making serious-or pseudo-serios fare–and purposefully locking out fun (because some serious concepts can still be fun) or you have people trying to make ‘fun’ movies as if they were a cookbook recipe–see any remake of late–and trying so hard, that you don;’t get the feeling anyone involved was having fun, and that translates when you watching something.

    For instance, it’s clear Vin and gang were having way more fun than McFayden and Lerman and Waltz on Musketeers. I’ll give that at least to Green Hornet, and its probably why some of you responded so positively to it, they were obviously having a great time when they made it and it shows up on screen.

    • Droid says :

      Yeah, with GH it was basically Rogen just constantly amused to be the star of an action movie. I need to see Real Steel. I expect that to be fun.

      Vin, Walker et al all looked as pleased as punch just to finally find themselves in a legitimately good fast and furious movie after four attempts. I think The Rock brought what the series needed as well. A really good match for Diesel.

      • Bartleby says :

        Real Steel was definition of a ‘fun’ movie. You had to overlook a sappy, kind of wonky plot, but that’s the first time in a while that in the theater the audience was getting involved with the movie, moreso even than the lady shitting herself at last weeks PA3 screening.

        Droid, I dont think you were aorund when RS came out. I really liked it, and Koutch did too. Here’s the obligatory link:

        http://www.moviemobsters.com/2011/10/07/review-real-steel-2011/

      • Droid says :

        I saw the trailer for PIB at Tintin. It looked okay I guess. I’ll see it down the line.

      • Spud McSpud says :

        I loved REAL STEEL. A family movie that engages the adults as well as the kids, eye candy for all (Jackman for the chicks, Evangeline Lilly for the dudes) and a real 80s tearjerker feel to the whole thing. Jackman sold the hell out of a fairly under-written lead – but you should never underestimate the Jackman. He’s got charisma to burn onscreen, and he’s perfect for REAL STEEL. Plus, and this is a major bonus, the kid was not in any way annoying. Always a plus.

        Yeah, it’s emotionally manipulative, but you know what? So were most of the great 80s family films, which RS felt so much like.

        And yeah, for all its stupidity and blatant disregard for the laws of physics, FAST 5 is an absolute blast. Pure guilty pleasure from start to finish.

  17. koutchboom says :

    Speaking of The Rat just saw the new MI4 trailer and all I can say is well someone’s about to get a boost in the hot chick ratings and good to know someone saw Let Me In.

  18. Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

    Well, my Jewish family comedy has scored a massive 0% on Rotten Tomatoes! lol The flashbacks and voice-over that gave background and empathy to the pretty horrible adult characters has been cut. The Jewishness has been amped up, and now nobody wants to spend any time with these unpleasant characters. What was once a family comedy about a family that happened to be Jewish, has now become a trailer for orthodox jewishness.

    http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/reuniting_the_rubins_2011/

    Such a shame, as there was a touching comedy in there once. But the writer/director is a bit of a nutter. A nice normal Jewish lad, who went backpacking in Thailand, lost his mind on hallucnigens, and became a born again Hasidic (Sp) jew. I used to have to find the closest synagogue on a Friday to where we were shooting and make sure I got him there before the sun went down.

    Just goes to show. Its all in the edit. You can make or break a film there.

    Still, the locations rocked!

  19. tombando says :

    So how do you think 1999’s Iron Giant holds up?

    • Bartleby says :

      It does Tom. I saw it–and showed it to my nephews–a year or so ago,

      In many ways, I appreciate it even more; the animation, the storytelling, and those big moments– particularly ‘Superman’–are still very strong emotionally.

      For me, IG is a four star/chang animation.

      • tombando says :

        I have the VHS of same and have thought of re-watching it. One of Vin Diesel’s better parts, too!

      • koutchboom says :

        I was Target this day yesterday and saw they were out of Real Steel toys and I shook my head in shame for a crestfallen brothern that hath denied there true self and hath skipped such an awesome if not the best Robot Boxing movie.

  20. Bartleby says :

    Likely to be another case where I might be overhyping, but here’s probably one of the most interesting movies I’ve seen this year:

    http://www.moviemobsters.com/2011/10/28/review-take-shelter-2011/

    • koutchboom says :

      Seriously who did Chastain fuck?

      • Bartleby says :

        Well, I think she’s very good, but I know what you mean. Even so, though, a Hollywood sugardaddy or something couldn’t have bought her this kind of exposure she’s got now.

        She’s been in like six movies, and they are all large roles, in most cases major supporting roles. And some of them are roles that one would assume you’d get after someone saw your perf in the other. Like this and Tree of Life, but it seems like they were both developed around the same time.

        It might be the Terrence Malick factor. He may have cast her early, and then everyone stumbled over themselves to get her in stuff, and by the time those people had already put together full movies, Terry got around to releasing his.

        I like her, and think she’s great in this and Tree of Life–and The Debt–but I do fear overexposure for her. She was decent in The Help, but didn’t come off that well in Texas Killing Fields.

        Geez, that one really was like CSI the movie.

  21. Bartleby says :

    You watch Grimm, Koutch? I’m not convinced, but I might give it another go.

    • Jarv says :

      Just watched yellow brick road.

      Quite liked it. Loved the lynch style end.

      • Bartleby says :

        Good. Im not crazy after all. Koutch’s hatred of it made me think I had seen something different.

        I liked it too. It’s not great, but it’s at least a 2.5.

        Lynch is who I thought of too when I saw it.

      • koutchboom says :

        Ugh both of you are crazy, how’s that cop out a Lynch style ending. And that laughable fall off the cliff. Also a movie whose biggest scary thing is as annoying as fuck is not a pleasant movie. They had a decent idea in there they just needed to rewrite the whole second half. Absolute dog shit of a film, also just fucking annoying and ugly and shitty effects. It felt like a high school film in some shots. Can’t believe people enjoy that garbage. Sure call it something a little different but that doesn’t make it good. Don’t know how you bitch about the sound work in Insidious then say a movie whose entire sound design was made to annoy the shit out of you was watchable. I should’ve walked out of that film.

      • Jarv says :

        And that laughable fall off the cliff

        I’ll give you that. That was shit. Also the decision to split the narrative into 3 wasn’t great.

        The sound was good. DIfferent to Insidious, in that it had a theme rather than a series of minor keys.

      • koutchboom says :

        Also the bit with the leg is probably one of the worst/lamest gore effects I’ve ever seen. The sound design was just there to fucking annoy the shit out if you. It was an interesting idea but failed execution. Also non of.the charcters were developed for shit, the character development and acting in Insidious towers over Yellowbrickroad.

      • Jarv says :

        The fuck it does. No character development in insidious at all.

        Regarding the sound design- watch the Prom Night remake. It’s utter shit, but uses the exact sane sonic tricks as insidious. Minor chords, followed by discord stings. Exactly the same and just as shit. YBR has a purpose with the old music.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah to annoy the watcher. Also Nite Owl had a fully developed character and insidious had character’s I don’t even remember any of the people in Yellowbrick, shit movie. And your nuts if you think its better than Insidious. I bet it cost more and looked like total garbage.

      • koutchboom says :

        Bahahah Yellowbrickroad cost 5 million Hehehe I’ve seen better effects on a no budget 1950s horror film.

      • Jarv says :

        I saw both at home. Insidious is designed as a shitty cheap shock vehicle- YBR is flawed but is at least trying to build something.

        Honestly, mate, Insidious is utter toss.

      • koutchboom says :

        I mean I get not liking insidious but you are making it out to be a worse movie than it was. It’s fine its well made and looks amazing for its budget. This use of the strings to highten the jump scares was very effective. When your main idea is THAT fucking annoying like in Yellowbrickroad its time to change your idea. I know Lynch films are pretty annoying as well but they are at least intrigueing, YBR wasn’t. NOW knowing the movie cost 5 million that makes it even a bigger joke, I thought maybe it may have cost PA1 money and then I wouldnt care but somehow those assholes got 5 million and that’s what they came up with. No wonder no one wanted to distribute such a fucked film. It’s truely a terrible film and if their main device in the film hadn’t been so fucking annoying and if it weren’t so boring is say its almost a so bad its good. But that migraine inducing music and shaking bit were too awful to convince anyone to sit through.

      • koutchboom says :

        If Yellowbrickroad had been a 30 min short (seeing as that they didn’t have an ending it should have only been a short) it would have been interesting. But at nearly 3 hours it was an exercise in tedium and makes me wonder why I bother watching movies at all. Now go hang out with that at the movies douche who probably liked Yellowbrickroad road and doesn’t get Insidious as well.

      • Jarv says :

        I get Insidious. I just think it’s wank. Honestly, it’s on a par with the Prom Night remake. YBR wasn’t great, but I liked the use of the music, and the movie theatre. However, it isn’t a film I go a bundle on.

        You have a good point with the 30 min thing. It did have that quality. The candy suicide was awful.

        On a different note: new Misfits is utter toss.

      • Jarv says :

        The other good point is- how the fuck did it coat that much? You’re right, it looks much cheaper.

        I quite liked bits of it, but it is massively flawed.

        State of horror nowadays is terrible.

      • Jarv says :

        Koutch- the sound design on Insidious isn’t as good as YellowBrickRoad.

        I’ll explain why- YBR isn’t a shock movie, which partially explains why the “shocking” bits of it are such huge failures (notably, the jump). It’s meant to be showing mental break down. The music is a key part of that, the incessant big-band crap is both repetitive and distinctive (actually reminds me of Bioshock 2). The out-of-place nature of the music in context to what we’re seeing on screen is meant to simulate them coming apart at the seams.

        In Insidious, the sound design is, well, terrible. With one exception (that I’ll come to in a minute). It is basically the same tired sound technique that every low-rent horror film has worked since the dawn of time: play a lot of minor chords and then bang in a LOUD discord to induce the jump scare. It’s the exact same folio and sound work in the Prom Night remake.

        In a cinema, with the lights out, total silence and great speakers, this works an absolute treat and people hop around on hot bricks- which is why they do it. At home, it doesn’t, and because it doesn’t work the other flaws of the film are exposed. The best scene of Insidious, by a long way, was the initial contact scene. This time out, they didn’t rely on the minor chord work. Instead the atmosphere was generated through static and a crescendo, so when the sting came in at the end, the jump was legit. 99% of jumps in that film aren’t earned- they’re the equivalent of sneaking up on someone and yelling BOO in their ear. The attempt to use music in Darth Maul’s place was too little too late.

        Good sound and soundtrack work should add to the film; it should create atmosphere and inform what we’re watching on screen. It should not be a crutch to replace the actual meat of the film, and this is what it is in Insidious, and why I think it’s lazy and bad.

        The counter example is the sound design in Kill List- the final sequence takes place in near silence: the film doesn’t need the sound- what we’re witnessing is fucking horrifying and because the film has built the atmosphere, it’s both scary and earned.

        Does this make sense? Basically, the point I’m trying to make is that any old hack can (and does) induce horror movie scares a la Insidious. Scream, actually, was a right bastard for doing this. Leslie Vernon shows this in action in the Library, the atmosphere is totally different, and all they’ve done is add a minor key soundtrack to images we’re familiar with. It’s very lazy and I personally do not give any credit to films that do this. Particularly to the extent Insidious does.

      • koutchboom says :

        What Insidious did with it’s jump scares was balls out, it’s the most per movie I’ve ever seen and in the theater they all worked. Also it had a good score. I get the purpose of the music in YBR and it’s fine like I’ve said the movie is just one big flawed idea, it’s just TOOOO fucking annoying and when your main conceit is something THAT fucking annoying to sit through you need to rethink your plot. In a WAY both sound designs are very very good….just Insidious is a lot of fun and YellowBrickRoad is equivalent to turning on static buzz at full blast….which I think they did at one point of the film for a good 5-10 minutes. And the movie wasn’t weird/otherwordly enough to justify it in some Lynch like manner. It’s just so half assed and half baked.

        I’ll probably never watch Insidious again since it just seems like it doesn’t work the same at home from what I’ve gathered. But in theaters that minor chords are whatever where a fucking blast. And no not 99% of the jump scares are unearned in it, there are probably only like 2 jump scares that were false sally’s or whatever the term is.

        Also in watching Evil Dead and seeing the ingenuity of that film, and to be fair…it’s a fairly annoying film as well, but it’s unpleasantness/annoyance of the sounds is at least earned and you care about it. But it’s just funny to me how you hear about how it’s SOOO much cheaper to make a film these days (and to some extent this is true and probably because it’s easier to get a loan these days then back then, also access to film making equipment is easier) BUT somehow Sam Raimi and crew went into the woods with less than a million bucks (probably less than $500,000) and came out with Evil Dead a year or so later. TheYellowBrickRoad fucks went into the woods with fucking $5 million….and came out with that turd. Maybe it’s the notion and feeling of effort put forth in Insidious and Evil Dead I appreciate, you can tell those movies are in love with horror movies and wanted to do something cool with it. YellowBrickRoad some film makers stumbled onto a gold mine and you can tell the effort and drive isn’t there, I’ve read some reviews about HOW these are guys to look out for….I doubt it. Insidious at least how a completely thought out idea (hate/like the further at least they knew what they wanted) YBR felt like someone should’ve spent there money elsewhere. Maybe had these directors not been given $5 million off the bat they could’ve come up with something memorable.

      • Droid says :

        It was less than that I think. Between 300-400k. The Chin talks about scrounging money from investors in his book.

      • Jarv says :

        I think it’s way less than that- about $100k. I’ve got the book at home, but I seem to remember the Chin saying something like “$100k? may as well have tried to raise $1m for all we knew”.

      • Droid says :

        I looked at wiki to see and it said $350k. Although it is wiki.

      • Jarv says :

        “against a budget of probably no more than $400,000”

        Wiki as well.

        I’ll check when I get home.

      • Jarv says :

        What Insidious did with it’s jump scares was balls out,

        It isn’t though. It’s the least ballsy way of introducing scares in a movie out there. A few, fine, but to repeatedly fuck the music in this way means that when you do need it for the finale (which needs all the help it can get), it doesn’t work, and you realise that you’re watching them running around a dreadfully designed set hiding from Darth Maul. When I say “unearned” I mean that the only thing that has induced them is the music- there’s no atmosphere, no tension and it’s because of the dedication to the score produced jump scares.

        I agree, though, that for what they turned out 5m is too high for YBR. There’s nothing in it that justifies that amount of wonga and it doesn’t look like the money ended up on screen. You are right YBR is an interesting, and probably awesome short, that has been stretched beyond what it can take. You could very easily have pruned one of the storylines off and improved the film exponentially.

        Both films are heavily flawed, but Insidious is the one I hated- and that’s because it was lazy. Everything about it was lazy APART from how it looked: It’s lazily written and characterised, it’s lazily scored and directed (in the need to rely on the music in place of atmosphere and tension), it’s lazily designed (if Darth Maul is the best you can do for a demon, then give up), and the downer ending is offensively lazy- like they just HAD to finish it like that.

        Which I never understood, because Poltergeist finished with the family escaping, and seeing as they basically ripped off Poltergeist, that end was shit.

        YBR, on the other hand is a good idea that they ran out of steam with. There’s too much repetition, the narrative was split when it shouldn’t have been, and the ending, funnily enough, feels like it was just done because they didn’t have a fucking clue what to finish it with. I liked the ending, the weirdness of it, but it was out of place.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well I don’t think Insidious is just a complete rip off of Poltergeist like you, sure it’s there but they weren’t remaking it like you make it seem. Also it’s Wan’s thing to have that sort of downer ending. The movie isn’t lazily directed at all the acting is very good and competent for a horror movie. I just don’t what Insidious did to you, because it’s a much better made film then you give it credit for because you are the only person I can find next to the At the Movies guy who flat out hated the entire film. Maybe your expectations of horror are just so off base from the rest of the world. But there is good atmosphere in the movie, the scares are earned the performances were strong and the Darth Maul critic is just lazy, the monster looks fine and is probably a call back to some old monster movie we’ve got no idea about, because there were a TON of horror movie references in there. Also Wan’s got an interesting eye. Seriously lemme see if I can find Yevakensky’s review of it as well and you can find solace in your soul mate of a film reviewer….too bad it’s that guy.

      • Jarv says :

        Bollocks, Koutch. I don’t know one person that thinks it was anything other than utter shit.

        Admittedly, I don’t know one person that saw it in the cinema other than you. You come down on films so often for looking like shit and the entire last third of Insidious looks like a giant turd statue. It isn’t well directed, because there’s no atmosphere, which is why Wan has to use the music like that, which is why the last third (which needs the music) falls flat. It’s a terrible film.

        Look- you’re basing your rave of it on that you saw it with the perfect atmosphere, and as such it worked like a blast. This is like the Scream/ Relic conversations. I guarantee that if you see that film away from that atmosphere, then it’ll be shit.

        Innkeepers used sound so much better than Insidious, Kill List made them look like amateurs. I said it last night- Prom Night remake uses exactly the same aural cues, and that isn’t good.

      • Jarv says :

        Insidious, actually, is another very confused film. There’s no need to bring all the shit with the old woman in to it. That’s only done to justify the shitty end. If anything, it would have made more sense for Darth Maul to get in his body.

      • koutchboom says :

        hahahahahah??? WHAT? You didn’t get the whole old women plot line? She was at the beginning? She is what connects the dad to the kid…she’s his darth maul spirit. Heheheh ok yeah your not helping your argument any but admitting that you didn’t get/weren’t paying attention to the movie.

      • Jarv says :

        Fuck’s sake, Koutch.

        I got it. But she WASN’T the big bad of the film- Darth Maul was and it made it really clear. Darth Maul was the most powerful etc etc etc etc etc, and yet she’s the one that ends up in his body. You can find excuses for it, but it was just shit writing.

        Furthermore, you know full well that I mean you can’t recreate a packed cinema atmosphere at home- you just can’t. That’s what I mean when I say if you see it without that environment.

        I like Jump Scares just fine, but they should be used sparingly to break tension etc, to overuse them a la Insidious means that they lose their effectiveness and become dull. Once dull, the film has to have something else to fall back on, and it doesn’t, in part because it abused the sound track so badly to generate the jumps.

        And the movie was a huge hit so obvious people liked it more then thought it was shit

        Finally, you are aware that 1) BO doesn’t equal quality, 2) Ticket sails don’t indicate what people thought of it, and 3) Who gives a shit what the great unwashed think anyway? They made TF2 a hit.

      • Jarv says :

        The more I think about it, actually, the Old Woman ending up in his body pisses me off. It totally devalues the villain of the piece, it’s like Pazuzu hanging out in Regan as a timeshare deal and then turning it over to some pathetic imp

      • Jarv says :

        I’ll give you an example of what I’m talking about-

        When I saw Jeepers Creepers in the cinema (leaving aside the guy being a fucking paedo, which I didn’t know at the time) it was a very similar experience to what you’re talking about with Insidious. However, when I saw it at home, the first half of the film was a big meh, and the second actively sucked.

        See what I’m getting at here? The surroundings and audience elevated the material.

      • Jarv says :

        Box Office is NEVER an indicator of quality. Ever.

        You need to see this film at home- and if you’ve got a cinema-sized screen and sound capability like even the shitty Odeon then that’s impressive.

      • koutchboom says :

        No in Insidious case it makes for a strong point for quality. Seriously just read about it on Box office mojo. I don’t believe that the masses are idiots like every other film person, without the masses there wouldn’t be any film. Insidious is a case of the masses getting it right for once. It must’ve been something in the water, because they also were right to give Source Code a chance (I know I’ve made fun of that film, but I’ve never seen it I still want to…but the fact that it didn’t totally flop like it should’ve speaks good for the masses). You can’t have that elitist attitude about film, because then it’s just useless and who gives a shit what you have to say. I know better then most about box office numbers and yes Insidious’ box office numbers are an actual indicator of quality.

        And I’ve got a 50inch back light Sony tv, that’s going on 6 years old now. I like the back lite tv’s because they are more cinematic than LCD’s/plasma’s at the moment, there is still this tinge of digital fakness to those. And I’ve got an old ass Bose 5.0 surround sound system, that back in the 90’s was the best you could get….not so much today but still pretty damn good.

      • Jarv says :

        I fundamentally disagree about that. The masses are the people that make shit like American Idol popular. It’s their idiocy that means that Westlife have more number 1’s than the Beatles, and that Jeffrey Archer is a better author than Anthony Burgess.

        Popularity does not ever equal quality. It never has and it never will.

      • koutchboom says :

        Oh come on, shitting on the general populace is just a worthless endeavor, because without them there would be nothing. Soooo assume everything they like sucks and without them we’d be better off and see how far that goes. Insidious defied expectations in many way’s at the box office and is an example as to not to give up faith in the general movie going audience. You give them a good product and they will show up. And who gives a fuck if Westlife has more number ones than Beetles, music has always sucked and will always continue to suck, there is no GREAT AGE of music, just popular bands fade and the great ones end up coming through in the end, that’s true for pretty much most art (except for maybe movies??? who knows since it’s the newest form of art). How many prints did Van Gough sell before he died? Come on Jarv your smarter than that.

      • Jarv says :

        There’s such a thing as the Lowest Common Denominator, though Koutch, and to deny it is an exercise in futility. Fine, make your shit that appeals to the LCD crowd, but remember, once blockbusters were things like Raiders of the Lost Ark. What did we get this summer? Focus group driven dross for the most part.

        You can never fail by overestimating how stupid people are- it is one of the great truisms of media.

        Look at it this way: is Titanic a better film than Aliens? Hell, is Avatar a better film than Aliens? Bollocks is it, but if you go on Box office then yes, it’s clearly better.

        Congrats to Wan for cracking a formula and making a profitable film (really well done, nigh on $100m), but Prom Night Remake made $57,197,876- you aren’t going to say that’s good are you?

      • Jarv says :

        I do seem to be a bit obsessed with that today.

      • koutchboom says :

        I doubt Prom Night and Insidious are anything alike. I guess you’ve now forced me to watch it to ensure you are just being spiteful.

        I don’t know what you are getting at with your LCD argument, but Arthur was the number 4 movie the same year Raiders came out…and the remake flopped this year so obviously audiences are learning. Is Avatar a better film than Aliens….I’d say that’s a pretty debatable argument. And come on you think Avatar is some focus group movie? Heheheh no fucking way, king of the world baby, he doesn’t give a shit about that. Movie hits now a days are so fucking odd it’s like they’ve moved passed focus groups. The Pirate movies….what about them screams focus groups? Those movies are complete messes. Transformers? Those movies are all over the place. If anything Raider’s is a more formulaic laid out classical style film hitting all the people pleasing beats then what’s coming out now a days. Harry Potter? It’s got really nothing to do with the films more so the marketing. Avatar was able to somehow cost on the Cameron hype and surpass Titanic’s box office numbers, I don’t think anyone really saw that coming.

        And without films like Pirates/Transformers…there would be no money left to make small films. If big movies just collapsed then yes we all would be stuck at home watching You Tube for the newest Harmony Kormine like feature on our computer’s rather than a state of the art cinema.

      • koutchboom says :

        And also if you pay attention to box office numbers you see actual attendance brought up and how money isn’t the true factor. But it is funny how both The Things opened with roughly the same amount of people seeing them. So pretty much the exact same people that saw The Thing 85 opening weekend also saw The Thing 2011 opening weekend, EXACT SAME PEOPLE.

      • Droid says :

        I still don’t understand the decision to throw a whole bunch of money at a remake/reboot/retread prequel of The Thing. The ’82 one bombed at the cinema didn’t it?

      • Droid says :

        Debuted at #8. Just made it’s budget back in the end.

      • Jarv says :

        Huge DVD sales.

      • Droid says :

        Yeah, it did find legs on DVD. But DVD is dead to studio execs. It’s big opening weekend or bust. And The Thing was never going to have a big box office. Does not compute.

      • Jarv says :

        That’s very limited thinking. I bet you that they looked at the numbers on DVD each year and thought “If that shitty old stop-motion crap is selling like that, how much can we coin in on a new version with proper CGI and shit. Fans love it, so we won’t have to sell the name, so it’ll be easy. KER-FUCKING-CHING”

      • koutchboom says :

        Reading about the thing, it steams more from the director I think. He had something fall through and Universal had a few things sitting around and he was a huge Thing fan and decided to push to get it made. Sooo who ever’s dick he sucked to make it happen obviously worked, again that’s why I say it’s not a terrible reboot/remake/prequel whatever you wanna call it, there is at least some passion there which is a lot more than you can say for most films today let alone remakes/boots/dos/prequels.

      • Droid says :

        I’m not saying it’s a bad film. I haven’t seen it. Just saying that it’s surprising they bankrolled it. And for so much.

      • Jarv says :

        See also Conan.

      • koutchboom says :

        Eh that was Lionsgate, they don’t know what the fuck to do now that Saw is over.

      • koutchboom says :

        Oh yeah Expendables and Tyler Perry. But i head Expendables has some fucked up none American deal where it’s through like everyone.

      • Droid says :

        Lionsgate also have the Twilight movies. Once they’re done… Dunno. Are they doing Hunger Games?

      • koutchboom says :

        No that’s Summit.

      • Droid says :

        Ah. Okay. But Lionsgate do have Hunger Games, which will get a massive push next year I’m expecting.

      • Jarv says :

        Lionsgate have Tyler Perry don’t they?

        I always think they’re a glorified DVD distributor.

      • Jarv says :

        nce they’re done… Dunno. Are they doing Hunger Games?

        CONAN!!!!

        Except a more sensibly budgeted one (i.e. one that costs about £30m not £50).

      • Droid says :

        There’s no reason for a Conan movie to be more than $30m.

      • Jarv says :

        Complete waste of money. And if it had cost $30m with a bit of decent marketing, it would have made a profit as I think it ended up on roughly $50m with some of the worst marketing I’ve ever seen.

        It’ll end up in the black on DVD sales though. Bet you.

      • Jarv says :

        Also, the bits of Conan they spent money on (presumably the CGI) could easily have been ditched from the film in favour of more STABBERY!!!

        I’m thinking specifically of the Dweller. Which was just a totally pointless scene.

      • koutchboom says :

        Does anything make it’s money back on DVD these days? I figured they were done even making them.

      • Jarv says :

        Yes- Physical Media isn’t going to be done for a while.

        Also the cost of DVD is fuck all to make (say about £2 per disc, and for the big boys, it’ll be less) whereas Dealer Price is about £9, and you get it in advance. Not to mention licensing to the likes of Lovefilm will coin it back.

      • koutchboom says :

        I just wonder how long it’s going to take Wal mart to realize that they are better off just having a box near the cash registers with only the weeks newest releases on it and get rid of their two rows of dvd’s all together in favor for another row of something else.

      • koutchboom says :

        I’m pretty sure Wal Mart is still the biggest seller of DVD’s worldwide, and once they figure out that space wise they are loosing money with their dvd section they’ll ax it in favor of something else.

      • Jarv says :

        They aren’t losing money though.

        Having dealt with buyers at HMV etc, they’re fucking bastards. What they do is squeeze you down based on that they’re the biggest and you effectively have to take what they’re offering. They then “build campaigns” around what they’ve screwed you for where they basically pile them high and sell them cheap. They also make you take less based on where it is in the store.

        Once they’ve got them, if the campaign fails, they’ll then stick it in with the next bit. They’ll eventually clear the lot off and make a tiny profit on it. Patience is the game here.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well loosing money or realizing that if they had an extra row of shoes they would double their profits compared to what the DVD rows make and just stick those in bins over the store instead.

      • Jarv says :

        Well loosing money or realizing that if they had an extra row of shoes they would double their profits compared to what the DVD rows make and just stick those in bins over the store instead.

        They don’t though. Nobody impulse buys a pair of shoes. Plus there’s storage and whatnot to contend with. DVD’s in places like Wallmart are very much an impulse buy.

        Look at it this way, a pos film like Siren was on sale in morrisons for £5. I guarantee that it was bought for £2. That’s £3 per hit, and I’ve nearly bought it a few times on impulse. Haven’t mind, but nearly.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well I just randomly picked shoes because it’s near the dvd section in wal mart. That’s what I’m saying though about the impulse buying just set DVD’s all over the store in bins and the newest/biggest weekly release right in your face at the checkout like they do now. And just scrape the whole 2 rows of organized dvd’s in lets say more video games/computers/tvs. I just wonder what the difference in sales numbers are from the DVD bins/box displays of the newest films compared to the neatly organized two rows they have.

      • Jarv says :

        There will be an element of stock that they have to shift as well Koutch. I agree, though, in principal. Bin the rows.

      • koutchboom says :

        Also it’s CRAZY how fast DVD prices drop, it’s stupid to buy anything other than a Disney movie the week it comes out. Granted the only DVD I’ve bought this year has been Bambi, probably the only DVD i’ve bought in a long ass time. Wait no I also bought Dark City on Blu the DC cut….even though I already have it on DVD….I did…..because it was only $10.

      • Jarv says :

        I’ve bought box sets.

        I think they’ll be around for a while.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah but box sets also drop in price if you wait long enough. I mean it’s not true for 100% of DVDs, and probably less true for tv show box sets, but it’s true for probably 75% of dvds. Also with Amazon’s crazy sales sometimes box sets will go on sale for next to nothing for like a month.

      • Jarv says :

        Also, to be fair, the box sets are things like Tremors (although I didn’t buy it this year)

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah anyone watch the Termors TV show yet? It finally came out on DVD.

      • Jarv says :

        Has it now? I shall have to procure it.

        Oh, and that Misfits review is live.

      • Droid says :

        No. DVD is dying. Studios don’t factor it in as much.

      • Jarv says :

        It is and it isn’t.

        The lifespan of each stage of media development is roughly 10 years, DVD has about 3 years left before it’s fucked. Blu-ray isn’t a big enough advance.

        They’ll look to get the last they can out of it- hell, I was working in the music industry when CD’s were dying and we say album sales rise year on year. Never worked out why, mind.

        People like physical media. It’ll go eventually, probably replaced by USB sticks or something (incidentally, it always makes me wonder why studios don’t manufacture this already). Depends on how fast technology accelerates.

      • Droid says :

        I’m thinking in terms of dvd sales. DVD rentals will continue, until Lovefilm or Netflix can put their entire catalogue on a streaming service. But again, it’s reliant on peoples acceptance of the technology. You’ll need cheap set top boxes that can stream the films reliably over a shitty internet connection (such as mine appears to be). DVD was just an upgrade from VHS. The same concept. Film on physical media. Stick it in. Press play. So I think that side of things will remain for quite a while yet. It’s just that people won’t buy them very much.

        Bluray isn’t a large enough leap because it’s also tech reliant. To take full advantage of it and see or (most importantly) hear the difference you need the right tech in your home. 98% of people don’t, so it’s merely dvd with a bit sharper image quality at twice the price.

      • Jarv says :

        Yes, but the same score, though, is that people like having libraries of shit. It’s just human nature. We collect.

        The same experience isn’t available with a hard-drive. DVD sales will continue, at declining pace, until the technology is there or its overtaken by something else.

        Hell, even cassette, which was shit, lasted much longer than they should have done;

      • Droid says :

        People like collecting shit, yes. But using CD as an example, the technology shifted into non-physical media and it was embraced because it was so convenient. No one I know buys CDs anymore.

        So, in the long run, I can see a time (a while off yet) when all film/tv is streamed or downloaded.

      • Jarv says :

        I can too. When Ipad’s don’t cost hundreds of quid and have enough memory. That’ll be the next leap.

        All I was arguing against was that DVD’s don’t sell any more. They do, but they’re at the end of their life- and I’ll tell you what they will do: Press runs will be less. The supply structure will change.

      • Droid says :

        People will show off their film collections/libraries by turning on their media player and the “wowed” visitor will navigate through the collection. That will be the new stack of shelves holding hundreds to films.

      • Jarv says :

        Yup.

        The way ipods try to do it with album covers etc (which is a pain in the hole to bother doing). I’m thinking there’s going to be holographic technology that people can literally browse through in the very near future. It won’t be that far away.

      • koutchboom says :

        Heheheh I think show casing DVD collections is useless past the age of 18. IDK I’ve just become cynical as I’ve gotten older because now it’s like………ohhh yeah I can just go out and buy it now. That’s another thing about DVDs over VHS they are available EVERYWHERE at ANY TIME. You think of the rarest movie possible I could probably have a DVD of it by weeks end latest. Say it’s 2AM and you wanna see the newest movie out on DVD? There are about 20 shops in your town you could still pick it up at right then. There’s nothing special about DVDs now.

      • koutchboom says :

        Hehe and the idea of digitally showcasing your movie collection is even more worthless.

        Maybe if facebook creates a CLOUD like feature where you can store movies you purchased and your friends can see on your profile what movies you own and you can LEND them out to them for like 2 hours are something…..then it would mean something.

      • Jarv says :

        Come off it, Koutch, say you go round to someone’s house, you telling me that you don’t look through DVD racks/ book shelves etc.

        It’s just human nature. People like showing off what they’re interested in. What you’re advocating is basically like those fucking pod hotels in Japan.

      • koutchboom says :

        Eh I glance at people’s dvd shelf these days. I don’t even have my visible, and I only have mine on a shelf just sort of because we didn’t know what else to do with them. Most of mine are in a giant binder. I just stare at my dvd collection now and am pissed at all the wasted money.

      • Jarv says :

        I’m not saying you scour it, but you do look, yes?

      • koutchboom says :

        I guess? I’m not going into many people’s homes these days, if I do I more notice their furniture lay out and gardening work before their dvd collection.

      • Droid says :

        People will. For example, when I went around to your place, I looked at your shelf of books/dvds/cds and also your PS3 hard drive. As things move towards the media player side of things, it will become more common and the display of your media collection will become more elaborate. Instead of just a list of titles.

      • Jarv says :

        Nosy bastard.

        Actually, I agree. In a few years, the way these things are displayed on the digital media will be sorted, and it;ll be some fancy display that’s easy to upload with the equivalent of cover art.

        All I was saying is that DVD’s have 3 years minimum left. So it’s nuts to pretend they don’t matter. They aren’t extinct yet. The industry, by the by, should be working their bollocks off to make sure they’re ready.

      • Droid says :

        This is also the point. The film industry doesn’t know what to do. Which is why dvd will continue for a while. It’s a universally agreed upon format of distribution. They pretty much need to agree how they are going to distribute films, in what format, in what quality. iTunes will probably be a leader in this market. But they need to do it soon, as they’re just going to continue losing money to piracy.

      • Jarv says :

        They haven’t learned from the music industry at all. Which is infuriating, considering that two of them are fucking Sony and Universal- both of whom are two of the major record labels. You think they’d nip along to music for a quick consult.

      • Jarv says :

        To be fair, they aren’t being helped out by platform wars. There’s no universal OS on things like PS3, Wii, X-box, DVR, etc etc etc.

        They’ve got to overcome this problem as well.

      • Droid says :

        Nosy bastard.

        I was quietly judging you too. You’ve got some right shit on that shelf.

      • Jarv says :

        Amongst the awesome.

      • koutchboom says :

        It just be this halogram floating above your tv like a spindle you can spin through to see all they have.

      • Jarv says :

        It just be this halogram floating above your tv like a spindle you can spin through to see all they have

        Exactly. It won’t be long, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Apple aren’t already half-way there.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah it’s funny because I act like I care that I won’t be getting all the supplemental features but honestly I’ve maybe watched 40% of all the dvd extra features on the ones I own. Probably 10% if you account for commentaries.

      • Jarv says :

        Who actually gives a fuck about most of that shit? It’s space filler.

        I think the only commentary I’ve ever watched is the Big Trouble in Little China one, and the only thing I’ve watched all the features on is Alien Quadrithingy.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah I know….it’s just annoying to GET THAT OPTION with DVDs…..then have it taken away with digital streaming.

      • Droid says :

        I used to make sure I bought a “special edition” or whatever so I could watch the extras. This was years ago. Early 00’s. I can’t even remember the last time I watched an extra on a dvd. Ah, yes, I watched the makings of Avatar and Aliens 1-4 on the blurays. Apart from that, I don’t watch them at all. And commentaries are 99% useless.

      • koutchboom says :

        I still usually watch all the dvd extras on dvds I rent. But even now they have rental dvds which just HINT at the special features but you can’t access them. I don’t know why I still do. Sometimes there is something cool in there.

      • Jarv says :

        Very rarely.

        I used to always bother, but after the umpteenth selection of crap trailers, I lost interest.

      • Droid says :

        Usually, the only extras worth a damn are one’s on older films. When the actors, directors etc can talk honestly about the film and the people involved. Not press kit talking head shit. Actually, the Batman ones are great for that. Intersting chat about the attempts to make it, and choosing Burton and getting Jack and all that stuff. Quite interesting and you kind of forget that it was the most expensive movie ever made at the time, it was wildly over budget, and all the pressure on this weird guy who’d made two weird low budget films etc etc.

      • Jarv says :

        One of the best is the making of Alien3

        You really get an idea of what a colossal fuck up it was- and Fincher losing his mind at the producer over shooting at night.

      • Droid says :

        Yeah, that is a good one. It even gets the directors who tried and failed to make it, like Renny and Vincent Ward. They really go about it in a tell all fashion. That’s what I mean about the interesting ones. Not “so and so was such a delight to work with” horseshit.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah I like those fly on the wall type making of’s other than the boring talking heads over set up shots like some package deal selling me a movie I already fucking bought.

      • Droid says :

        On modern films you don’t get it though. Because all the dvd extras are filmed on the set. So all the people still have to praise the fuck out of the movie.

      • koutchboom says :

        You can get that sometiimes, I need to watch the making of Devil’s rejects I’ve heard that’s really good. You almost get more of that now, because you do have people planning for the dvd and rolling camera’s of them working. I can’t remember what it was…..ohhhh it was that fucking gross Russian movie about competitive eating that had this awesome behind the scenes shit. It was more just this camera set up while they work and you saw how the shot got made and the tricks behind the cool camera movements. No one really taking to the camera at all. And you CAN get a lot of that.

        But what I hate is something like pirates…there should be a really bad ass doc about making those fucking ships, (i’ve never rented a Pirates dvd so I don’t know, I just now how PC Bruckhimer likes to keep it) and I bet there’s just like some extra where the guy who designed/made the ship just talks about how great it was to make and some photos of it being made. I’d rather see some hour long doc of what a pain in the fucking ass it was to make.

        God imagine a great behind the scenes of Waterworld.

      • koutchboom says :

        I think it’s these indy movies that can make nice stuff because they don’t have the money to do these studio style interviews where everyone is jerking each other off, but they can set up a camera on set and just have it roll all day and take shit from that.

        Hobo with a shot gun had a lot of cool behind the scenes stuff.

      • Droid says :

        God imagine a great behind the scenes of Waterworld.

        Yeah, that would be great. Like the doc on The Abyss. That’s really good. Plus it goes into the friction on the set, and how Ed Harris hated Cameron. Actually Fox make really good dvd extras when they give a shit about it.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah I always think of the FOX dvd promo, how they hype up there INTERACTIVE MENUS! Where it me I’d rather there be 0 interaction, you just turn the movie on and the movie poster pops up (Maybe with the score, preferably no sound) and there is a list of everything, with maybe some sub menus if there is A LOT of stuff, and sub menus for sound/language/chapter shit. I hate animation between dvd menus.

      • koutchboom says :

        Man there was the START of a great documentary on the A Gun, A Noodle and a Women Place or whatever that fucking Asian Blood SImple remake was tittled, that started off really really good….then I don’t KNOW what the fuck happened? Like they didn’t have the rest of the doc? Stuff started repeating like crazy I thought there was something wrong with my DVD, it was nuts how terrible and repetitive it got.

        It was about Zimou Yangs whatever his name is having to direct the movie and this big centennial something or other celebration and how it was going to be this giant thing and him doing both at the same time from casting the unknowns and it was crazy the amount of work he was doing at the same time….but about half way through something went wrong in the editing department and it’s just these unknowns talking about how great it was to work on this film with this Chinese movie master and we never see the final big cermony he had to plan. That really pissed me off.

      • Jarv says :

        Yup.

        A really good extra doc was Peeping Tom. The director is well dead but Scorcese (who effectively saved the film from ceasing to exist) talked about it. Really, really interesting.

        Off home.

        Ciao.

      • Droid says :

        Another good commentary is Mike Newell on Donnie Brasco. That’s quite a good one. He does praise the fuck out of Pacino, but since it’s pretty much his last great role I can let it slide.

        Adios.

      • Droid says :

        There are three decent commentaries that spring to mind.

        BTiLC, because it’s just two mates talking.

        Scorcese’s Cape Fear, because they actually talk honestly about the film, and the process of it getting made.

        Rat Race, because the director calls each of the main cast one after the other to chat to them. Which proved very entertaining.

      • koutchboom says :

        Heheheh fuck I want to not care about Hunger Games and hope it pulls a Percy Jackson….but I fucking like that director.

      • Droid says :

        I like Gary Ross too. It’s literally THE ONLY THING that interests me about it. I don’t really know what it’s about. Something along the lines of Battle Royale. It’s not big outside America. It has a $100m budget. It needs to hit for them.

      • Jarv says :

        “I like Gary Ross?”

        Based on what? he’s only directed two films.

        I like Pleasantville. Airbiscuit can fuck off. Mawkish shit.

        As a writer, he’s also got Dave, which I like.

      • Droid says :

        Seabiscuit is fucking great. Pleasantville was good. Dave was good.

      • Droid says :

        Lionsgate are doing the Arnie comeback. $30m budget. That’s a safe bet. I don’t think it’ll be a big hit, but it should make more than that.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah I know nothing about it either. The production shots I’ve seen don’t interest me either and it’s got a weak cast and to further it’s Percy Jacksonness….I think Sean Bean is in it, lemme check.

      • koutchboom says :

        No he’s not in it luckily.

      • Droid says :

        Nah. Of course they’re whoring out the brand, but spending $40m on a remake of a film no one went to see is doomed for failure. Nearly everyones experience of The Thing is on VHS or DVD. That’s a tough mindset to break. My bet is The Thing (2011) will top the “most pirated” charts when it becomes available.

      • koutchboom says :

        IDK I would say if it was from anyone else but Universal, they are making weird choices these days. $60 million for Scott Pilgrim….$60 million I think for your highness. Maybe who ever is in charge just doesn’t give a shit anymore, and if you’ve got someone really into making a movie they’ll throw money at you.

      • Jarv says :

        What the fuck did they spend that on in YH?

        And Scott Pilgrim absolutely should not have cost more than 10m. That was never going to make bank.

      • Jarv says :

        I doubt Prom Night and Insidious are anything alike. I guess you’ve now forced me to watch it to ensure you are just being spiteful.

        I’m being spiteful- deliberately picking a terrible film with a lot of jump scare music in it (and it even does the shitty medicine cabinet shot) that made a lot of money and is now therefore by this argument good.

        1) The original Arthur, while no masterpiece had Dudley Moore (who was on a bit of a roll) and Gielguld. Not LCD crap at all. The Remake is.

        2) I don’t think Avatar is, I was just pointing out to you the silliness of the box office argument.

        3) PIrates 4- shifting Depp to front and centre is focus group thinking- it isn’t an artistic decision, it was done because everyone loves Jack Sparrow (without realising that less is more) and it’s an appeal to the LCD that buy theatre tickets.

        4) Transformers is one big marketing call. It’s a toy commercial masquerading as a film, and it’s shit. yet makes hundreds of millions.

        5) HP? You could film a giant turd and slap a hogwarts uniform on it and that would make money- nothing to do with quality.

        6) They don’t spend the pirates/ TF money on small films. It goes on the next TF/ Pirates film.

        7) The point, and you’re actually inadvertently making it, is that these films are all over the place and none of them are any good.

        Really, you’re undermining your own argument about Box Office equalling quality here, because none of these are good films (Avatar excepted, but that was in comparison to Aliens) and all of them made lots.

        Interestingly, you make a good point about commercial interference: For example, why does every blockbuster and superhero film have to have a love interest? It’s to get the women in- because it’s accepted wisdom that women won’t go to see a film without one. I can do this a while, but all the shitty missteps in the big blockbusters at least are a bit rooted in focus group marketing wank- Venom in Spidey 3 was only in the film because that twat insisted as “People love Venom”.

      • Droid says :

        Jack Sparrow went to the lead role from Pirates 2 onwards. It’s why his effectiveness is greatly diminished. You need him to play off the dullard plank of wood romantic leads. Not the other way around.

      • koutchboom says :

        I mean I get that, it’s just fine and it’s more brain washing in terms of marketing than the actual films themselves. Like you kind of wonder how these films played out if there weren’t allowed marketing just forced to only spread on word of mouth. AND that’s why I cite Insidious as an example of box office numbers proving something good, because it had fuck all in terms of marketing, it was from a first time distributor which is never good and had to really rely on the word of mouth of people to get around.

        I’ve not seen the new Pirates so I don’t know, Jacks’ always been the center piece of the marketing though. But films 2-3 them selves where just so fucking muddled and odd that it’s hard to believe anyone would truly enjoy them? And Harry Potter films aren’t your typical action films. If anything the most basic movie we had this summer was Fast Five and look how audiences responded to that.

        And what I mean about without tent poles we wouldn’t have smaller movies is that there would be no fucking movie theaters. Movie theaters LIVE off of tentpoles and deal with smaller movies in hopes of a few bucks. I’m sure if movie theaters had their way they’d only show block busters, soooo be thankful Pirates made a billion dollars so your local movie theater can remain open other wise you would’ve never saw Kill List in an actual movie theater.

      • Jarv says :

        It had a fair amount here. It was cleverly targeted on the late night movies and things like that.

        I get what you’re saying about Marketing, but there are plenty of films that are terrible and made loads of cash regardless of marketing. Usually Rom coms.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah again, that’s fine whose gives a shit if some rom com makes some fat ladies happy? Good for them. I wish dorks and nerds would come out and support what they like in the same manner. It’s sort of funny that the biggest group of people that care the most about the art form is probably it’s least contributor financially speaking. I wonder if that’s true for every medium of art/entertainment?

        I mean you always see/hear these pleas from online movie sites (hell AIBN we just made one, but mainly for fun) to get people interested in their dork loved films and then shit around and wonder why shitty films like Rom Com #13 made good money while Dork Film #2 flopped again at the box office? Does this just mean that rom com fans are more dedicated and loyal than geeks and dork movie fans?

      • Jarv says :

        And what I mean about without tent poles we wouldn’t have smaller movies is that there would be no fucking movie theaters

        It’s more complicated than this. There’s a race to the bottom involved in that they’ll spend X amount on the big tent pole and then push it to the hilt to try to make sure it’s a success. If a film costing 300m makes 5 percent profit, that’s 15m, whereas they’ll be expecting a lot higher, maybe 40% ROI minimum. A film like insidious even if it makes 400% ROI can’t make the same amount of money. The Tentpole system is actually bad for cinema.

      • Droid says :

        A few years ago I read a study that explained how it was more profitable for studios to make 2 blockbusters instead of 6 mid range films. That kind of thing. It’s fucked, but that’s how it goes. Just think of the big fat profit of the Potters (worth billions to WB every year), or Avatar. A $50m manages to quadruple its budget it gets $150m. If a $250m film does that it’s $750m. Therefore worth 5 of the $50m “hits”.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah that’s what I’m saying, without big block busters…..there would be no REAL movie theaters. Sure you’d have your shitty independent ones barely breaking even with shitty sound and screen. But these top of the line venues, those would be gone. AND sometimes these top of the line venues just happen to show movies like DRIVE or Insidious…..for better or worse.

      • Droid says :

        It’s basically studio hedge betting. One hit is easier to orchestrate than five. You don’t have to come up with 5 different mass appeal concepts.

      • Jarv says :

        The problem with it is this:

        if you’ve got 5 films for £100m, then the model is venture capital.

        What you’re hoping for is that one of them is a massive hit, one breaks even and you don’t care about 3. You NEED the massive hit to make the money. However, against that, there are only so many hours in the day, and marketing is expensive, so you’ve got to work out which one you’re supporting. If you get it wrong: Game over.

        However, if you spend that £100m, you NEED it to be a hit, there’s no safety net. What you do, therefore, is try to ensure that the film appeals to as many as possible- hence the rise of the PG13 Horror movie. You work your tits off before, during, and after the making of it to make sure that it has an ROI, and if it’s a big hit? Then you’ve coined in your budget for the next 6 years. At the very least, you should break even.

        As a direct result of this, there are decisions made that directly compromise the film. It leads to LCD appeal shit, because nobody is ever going to take a punt on an audience’s intelligence. Because a mob is only ever as smart as its most stupid member.

      • Jarv says :

        There’s some truth to that. Because Odeon have so many fucking screens in Central London, Kill List was still running after a month (and packed) in one of the minor screens in Leicester Sq.

      • koutchboom says :

        I saw Jeepers at home and while I didn’t like it, I thought it was good I got a few good jump scares in it. I thought the opening was very well done. It’s hard to have horror elements during the day, especially car chase scenes but that truck chasing them was very good.

        It’s not just the surroundings, I mean back when I saw Jeppers Creepers I was still at home, and had a better ability to set up a movie experience and didn’t have a bunch of animals. Now I have to wait for everyone to go to bed to leave me alone to really get that cinema experience (having animals does pretty much ruin that), but it can be done. I can’t do it in the middle of day anymore because I don’t have metal heavy ass blinds like I did in high school so I have to wait until dark. Also now a days I’ve got computer and a cell phone at the drop of a hat, I had those in high school but all my phone did was send text and my computer was two stories up from my tv viewing experience. Now if there ever is a lull in a film and I want to just check something real quick it’s much harder to stop myself from doing it then just doing it.

      • Jarv says :

        I saw Jeepers at home and while I didn’t like it, I thought it was good I got a few good jump scares in it. I thought the opening was very well done. It’s hard to have horror elements during the day, especially car chase scenes but that truck chasing them was very good.

        Exactly my point. I saw it in the Cinema and it fucking rocked.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah but I still enjoyed parts of Jeepers, I didn’t like it but I wasn’t calling it the worst movie I had ever seen in my entirely of seeing films.

      • Jarv says :

        I’ve not been saying that. Worst film I’ve seen released in 2011? It was until I sat through Sucker Punch.

        Bear in mind that I haven’t seen that much released in 2011 (Well, a lot more now).

      • koutchboom says :

        Naw that BO argument makes sense for Insidious, just track the numbers, the movie out performed in every manner for a film of it’s size and stature. It made good by good word of mouth not over the head advertizing, it WAS a people’s champion so yes in this instance the masses were right. Also Abigail Breslin liked it, and are you REALLY going to argue her taste in horror films over yours? Also its not hard to recreate a film going experience in my house, I don’t think my theater was even that packed?

        The which coming through at the end was fine, sure it could’ve gone either way. I know people that hate that ending, I enjoyed it, it’s one last fuck you to the audience which I liked, you think it’s all good it’s all happy then BAM! right in the kisser. And no when you can make every jump scare as good as it was in Insidious then yes it’s effective. Usually movies have like 1-2 jump scares and that’s fine and most of the time you got your well’ard lads that say it did nothing for them, everyone I know that saw Insidious got punked at least once with a scare…and to me that says it’s very effective, because you know the sort that are always unimpressed with every horror movie ever made, yeah those guys at least squirted a little in their shorts during Insidious. And still you say abuse, everyone else say’s heightened, which is correct because that was the point.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well movies are meant to be seen in the cinema. And the movie was a huge hit so obvious people liked it more then thought it was shit. And I’m fine with NOT liking it, that’s fine the movie is not perfect and not for everyone but you acting like it’s the big complete failure of a film is just absurd, it’s not. The movie is fine and well made just didn’t work that well for you. It’s no where near the WORST of the year list. Maybe you just don’t like jump scares? Also…..why the fuck would I be watching a horror movie like in the middle of a day on the phone are something? Or course it’ll suck then. I only try to watch horror movies in the best possible atmosphere.

    • koutchboom says :

      Naw will watch it tonight. Didn’t really dig the chuck opener glad this is the last season.

      • koutchboom says :

        Watching Grimm now, its fun. Looks good. Ive always liked Silas Weir Mitchell also good to see Brandon Routh in something as well. Hope it doesn’t flop for once dude needs a break.

      • koutchboom says :

        Hehehe its produced by Sean Hayes.

      • koutchboom says :

        Hehehe Cameron from Alphas is in Once Upon a time, also he’s in Apollo 18 makes me want to see that now.

  22. Bartleby says :

    Also, looks like Innkeepers got pushed to February, and VOD earlier at end of December. Either way, can’t go on any list for Chang awards.

    Take it off my suggestion list Jarv. Actually, I think I already replaced it with The Way Back.

    • Jarv says :

      Pity.

      Good shout for next years.

      Just finished NOTD 3. Just the remake to go. I’d rate all of them between 2 and 2.5. Which isn’t surprising seeing as they’re all basically the same film.

      • Jarv says :

        The remake, sadly, is garbage.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s just no fun. Edward Furling is actively awful, Shannon Elizabeth is making me miss Amelia Kincaide as Angela, it’s not trashy enough, no fun, tame, boring crap.

        Severe lack of nudity, even during a sex scene- complete with viscerally unpleasant anal and vomiting worms.

        Quigly’s cameo was a nice touch, the demon effects are ok, and the soundtrack is good. That’s all in the way of positives.

      • Jarv says :

        Unforgiveably, they amped up the lipstick scene, and made it both tamer and gross.

        This is NOTD for the likes of goatfucker. Crap.

      • Jarv says :

        Also -50 points for the lame as fuck demon orgy. Not to mention spouting off with lame pinhead ecstasy of pain garbage.

        NotD should be an open goal. How do you fuck it up so badly?

      • Bartleby says :

        NOTD remak is garbage, but points for Diora Baird, right? She’s smokin, and if I remember correctly, is the one who ‘swallows’ the lipstick in the remake.

        It was trash though. My fave of the series was the sequel, which was quite entertaining.

      • Jarv says :

        The sequel is easily the best. The third already feels tired, and the remake is shit. Baird does do the lipstick sequence, but they trash it by making it seriously unpleasant.

        The best thing about it is the nod to the original and sequels that it does.

  23. Bartleby says :

    Saw Kill List, Jarv. Merficul lord. So glad I didnt read that spoiler email you sent.

    Like a kick in the nads, that one. You know, this must be the sort of thing Harry and co. think they are praising/promoting when they go on full tilt about dredge like Serbian Film.

    And screw The Wicker Man comparisions. Wicker Man–any version–isn’t a sniff on this. Even the original is an exercise in tedium with an admittedly tremendous ending.

    I’ve got plenty of questions/thoughts for you, but I’ll probably just email.

    I dont know if you mentioned it in your review–Iv’e forgotten–but isn’t it possible that the last twenty or so might be happening in his mind?

    Think this ends the conversation about what’s the best horror film.

    Is it getting any love over there? Is this an underrated?

    Following it up with Island of Lost Souls with Laughton!

    • Jarv says :

      It got a proper release here, and a huge amount of critical nut stroking. Top fucking film. Best horror movie since the Descent, and easily the best film I’ve seen this year.

      By the last third he’s suffering from severe blood poisoning, so it is entirely possible that it’s all taking place in his head. I love the Wicker Man, but agree, that it isn’t quite as good as Kill List.

  24. Bartleby says :

    that should have read ‘best horror film of the year’

    Also, Jarv, get Lovefilm to send you back Heartless and don’t let your douchey friends makie you send it back this time.

  25. Jarv says :

    Night of the Demons 2 published.

  26. Droid says :

    Watching Orphan. It’s utter garbage.

  27. Jarv says :

    Just watched heartless. Meh.

    Just also watched lesbian vampire killers. Utter shit

    • Bartleby says :

      Heartless, meh? What didn;t you like?

      Lesbian vampire killers is garbage, and kudos on the ‘biggest pair of tits’ comment.. That’s exactly right.

      • Jarv says :

        The pacing is off in the second act. Nearly sinks the film.

        From when he makes the deal the film needs to accelerate, but instead it meanders off on a series of sub-plots that don’t really go anywhere, but are simultaneously essential for the climax. The romance is also badly handled.

        Pity, actually, because it was good other than that. It’s one draft short of being fucking ace.

      • Jarv says :

        Complete waste of Myana Buring as well.

        Shite.

    • ThereWolf says :

      Jesus, you’re hard to please, Jarv…

  28. Droid says :

    Christ almighty, this is shit. CG blood as well.

  29. Bartleby says :

    ahh. Orphan. Say it with me.

    Secret.
    homicidal.
    Russian.
    prostitute.
    Midget.
    For real.

  30. just pillow talk says :

    Watched The Eagle last night…not bad.

    Review in a few days…without power from the FUCKING SNOW!!!!! Lucky to have a fireplace.

  31. Jarv says :

    Today’s viewing, because it’s Halloween is going to be all horror. Starting with:

    Dead Snow.

    Thinking about let me in.

    Rest are undecided, although, I may go for Prom Night.

  32. Continentalop says :

    Bart, sent you an email.

  33. koutchboom says :

    Watched Candyman last night. It’s well made love that score but its no longer scary. How are the sequels?

    • Bartleby says :

      I noticed the same thing Koutch. It’s mostly the female reporters interviewing for the first half or so. Still a good movie.

      The sequels are much more crap, and only end up making him even less scary by trying to play up his past and the racial tension angle.

      Farewell to the Flesh is a wet rag, and the third one mostly escapes my memory, so I dont think there was much there.

      • Jarv says :

        The sequel is passable crap but icky. The third is absolutely dreadful, and Todd thinks it is the worst film he has made. I reviewed them a year ago

      • Jarv says :

        I watched all the Prom Night films today.

        PN1: crap, shitty, pointless slasher by numbers.

        PN2: much more entertaining.

        PN3: best of the series. A blast.

        PN4: dreadful. Worst of series.

        PN remake: shiny cheap shock vehicle. Competent, but boring and derivative.

  34. just pillow talk says :

    It appears I will be without power for a week again (just like from the hurricane fromm 2 months ago) which, um, BLOWS. Think it’s time to purchase a generator.

    I am not even sure if my work has power.

  35. MORBIUS says :

    Was perusing an old Twitch and part of the discussion
    revolved around guessing AssWipeLives’ age.

    A month or so ago, in a WingeWorld thread,
    goatfucker said he was forty
    fucking years old …

    either that or it was he was fucking forty year old goats ..

    can’t remember which …

  36. Jarv says :

    Weekend’s viewing:

    Night of the Demons 2: Good
    Night of the Demons 3: OK
    Night of the Demons remake: Shit
    Prom Night: Shit
    Prom Night 2: OK
    Prom Night 3: Hilarious
    Prom Night 4: Complete and utter shit
    Prom Night Remake: Garbage

    Misfits: Fuck you Overman, you cunt. Poisonous review coming soon.

    • Droid says :

      Weekend viewing…

      Orphan… Complete shit.

      Crazy Stupid Love… Surprisingly okay. Not great, but as far as romantic comedy films go these days it was pretty good.

      Quite a lot of Parks and Rec as the missus is now hooked and playing catch up.

  37. tombando says :

    Weekend Watchin’:

    A*P*E*–yes, once yet again. Infamous Battering Ram Scene(TM), Toy Cow and Window Eye Pokings(TM) as hilarious as ever. Along w/ the flaming marshmallow arrows on wires AND the ‘thrown’ boulders on the wires. Much fun.

    Cave Dwellers AKA Ator Does it Again! Wowsers. Another obvious BAD 80’s Italian hack job, it was a TV series of sorts mooshed together into a ‘movie’. Think Yor but worse. Hubcaps of Death? Instant Hanglider Piloting Expertise? Random Cave Dwellers that show up for all of 13 minutes in the middle? Authentic Mongols w/ Hasidic Jewish Bangs and European features? It’s All THERE! Makes the Quickening look like the Maltese Falcon. MSTK3 time.

    The Pod People! Oh my and this got the MSTK3 treatment as well. This was hilarious. A couple of aliens who stole Alf’s body and Babar’s head wander around some British Columbian woods ‘terrorizing’ the family cat, abuse a Merlin toy and play in the fog. It’s pretty awful. No Pod People actually are involved save for the director/writer. You need to see this, too.

    • Jarv says :

      Those sound mint Bando.

    • tombando says :

      Of the three, I recommend the Cave Dwellers the highest. You HAVE to see this. It has some of the world’s most incomprehensible flashbacks thrown at the audience at the start-all of which lead to NADA. The Conan type has Fabio written all over him, the Red Sonja type has Barbi written all over her, and the head baddie-Village People Cop. Truly a legacy of shame this one.

  38. Droid says :

    Jarv, not sure you’re aware or not, but Lovefilm have tinkered with their price structure and you probably will be able to get more for your money. I got the deal on the £14.99 price structure, which they’ve upped from 2 to 3 games or movies at a time. You have to sign in to Lovefilm and go to Change Package under My Subscriptions.

    https://www.lovefilm.com/account/my_account.html

    Just FYI.

    • Jarv says :

      We looked, but we’re on some weird special offer from years ago and only pay £8 per month.

      So if we tinker, it gets more expensive for not a lot of benefit.

      • Droid says :

        Cool. I just paid £9 for 3 months at the 14.99 rate. Gonna cancel at the end of the 3 months.

      • Jarv says :

        They need to end their dispute with universal. It’s getting on my tits.

        Also, they need to fix teh fucking interface, and update the watch now bit properly.

        On a different note, watched The Hills Run Red on the weekend. Slasher film with a difference and a supremely minging last third.

        We were talking about this yesterday, but why do so many horror films end on an absolute downer nowadays? Not “final scare” but misery ending?

        When did you actually last see a Survivor Girl escape properly? I can’t think of it (and Prom Night Remake doesn’t count/ NOTD remake/ whatever) happening in a while- for example:

        Insidious, and YBR both feature downer endings.

      • Droid says :

        Scream 4.

        And not “survivor girl” but Stakeland at least had a hopeful ending.

        Horror films are too clever by half now. It’s always the “jump” ending just before the credits, or the misery porn ending where everyone dies. Cannot be arsed with that shit. I like a good bad guy, but 9 times out of 10 I want to see the good guy/girl win. Unless the goodie is a complete douchenozzle, which is becoming more frequent. Horror movies are in a bad state.

      • Droid says :

        Also, another reason why I rate HOTD much more highly than The Innkeepers.

      • Droid says :

        When did you actually last see a Survivor Girl escape properly?

        The US edit of The Descent!

      • Jarv says :

        The what now? Doesn’t exist.

      • Jarv says :

        I disagree, I think the end of HOTD is a right downer.

      • Droid says :

        Am I forgetting something?

      • Droid says :

        Oh wait, she’s preggers isn’t she…

      • Jarv says :

        To HOTD?

        I think you are. The film ends with her in hospital, brain damaged after shooting herself, but pregnant as per the prophecy.

      • Droid says :

        Um, yeah… I must have blocked that out. Yes, HOTD is a right downer. I don’t know what I was thinking.

      • Jarv says :

        A case of the mondays.

        The thing about HOTD and Innkeepers, is both those endings are earned by the film, and in the case of Innkeepers, it’s practically a convention that the film ends like that.

      • Droid says :

        Yeah, I think I just consider the ending of HOTD to be a bit more effective, and a more natural progression of the story. The ending to Innkeepers kind of sticks out at me a bit more for some reason. Dunno. Fucking mondays. Hands down the worst fucking day of the week.

      • Jarv says :

        I think the remake of Night of the Demons was going for that as well- she kills herself to stop the prophecy, and NOTD pulls the same trick- except with a much happier twist.

        Seems to be very commonplace that, nowadays.

  39. Droid says :

    Damn. Looks like I’ve missed Real Steel.

    In Time, Tower Heist, Anonymous, The Ides of March are all out now or this week. hmmm… I could also go see Tintin again.

    • Jarv says :

      Shit.

      And to think I wasted time on TTSS.

    • Bartleby says :

      tower heist, amazingly, is the best of those. a reasonably fun time at the movies. the rest are average at best and a bore in the case of anonymous.

      • Droid says :

        You’re making a solid case for seeing Tintin again. You needn’t twist my arm!

      • Jarv says :

        The Sunday Telegraph gave Tins a scathing review as well. Very similar to the Guardian review.

        This is funny, because these critics look down on the “raped my childhood” meme of “fanbois”, yet they’re doing exactly that in their reviews.

      • Droid says :

        Meh. That ‘raped my childhood’ gibberish is pathetic. Be it flames on optimus (it’s a fucking action figure toy line for christ sake), or CG Tintin, it’s an adaptation of the source material. The mediums are entirely different, therefore you will never get unanimous approval. The best you can get is some mostly accurate characterisations and a correct capture of tone and spirit. And I think Tintin did that well. The Guardian reviews come across as being written by individuals that were never going to be happy with any adaptation and interpretation. So they’re meaningless.

      • Droid says :

        BTW, I will endeavour to actually finish the review today. I wrote 1000 words last week and was just warming up. I will probably need to reign it in a bit.

      • Jarv says :

        I’ve got Misfits 3.1 scheduled for 4pm.

        I’ve given it an absurdly pillow-esque rating based on that I was too lazy to photoshop the image properly. And I feel a bit ill.

      • Droid says :

        Sure. If I finish the Tintin review I’ll just schedule it for tomorrow AM.

        Misfits hasn’t improved then?

      • Jarv says :

        About the same. However, this one gets a bit of a pass, because it had to reset the post-Nathan landscape. Therefore, it was never going to be great.

        Another fucking good villain though. They’re really good at bad power users.

      • Jarv says :

        I was surprised at the Telegraph one.

        The problem is, the first Guardian review didn’t like it because he just doesn’t like CGI. That’s a fair enough viewpoint, however, that was upped by the second, which was the Raped My Childhood one, and the third was just ridiculous. Then that tool (not Jenny McCarthy this time) in the Torygraph jumped on the bandwagon.

        It’s got Sunday afternoon viewing written all over it for me. I’ve no strong opinions about Tintin, don’t particularly like Mocap, so reckon it will go down nicely before a roast.

      • Droid says :

        Yeah, you said that the other day. I reckon that’s the best scenario for you to watch it.

      • Jarv says :

        Yeah, I know. The more I think about it, the more that seems like the best fit for me.

      • Bartleby says :

        yes, based on what you said of tintin, that’s what I’d do. Unless Take Shelter is playing near you. Then see that.

        Although I suspect that one will play better for most of you on the small screen.

      • Droid says :

        That’s not out here yet, I don’t think. I’ll keep an eye out for it.

  40. Droid says :

    Huzzah! Now that my number of discs is raised to 3, Lovefilm are sending me Brotherhood of the Wolf! hehe

      • Droid says :

        I haven’t seen it since it first came out. I barely remember it, apart from some boobage, and it was pretty dumbhouse.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s colossally stupid.

        Monica as a vatican hooker, Native American ninjitsu, Fighting pikeys, BONESWORD!!!

        Awesome

      • Bartleby says :

        the wife and I just watched Brotherhood of the Wolf again last week. It holds up, and I actually found it better this time around. T

        he story is massively dumb, but it’s so good at bringing all that crap together. I never would have guessed you could have made such a legit feeling movie out of Iroquis martial artist shamans, gun-toting, monster-hunting libertines, grungy, epileptic gypsy trash, Vatican hooker ninjas, one-armed, incestuous Frenchmen and his giant, lion-bear-pig-rhino pet that eats sheep-herding virgin hillbillies.

        Great film. Awesome soundtrack too. Dacascos was awesome in that movie. The he, more or less, vanished.

      • Bartleby says :

        and the bonesword…how did I forget the bonesword…

        This is one of those movies that, for me, sits in the upper eschelon of dumbhouse.

        And they marketed it like an art film complete with ‘Based on a true story’ I guess that part is because yes, there was a town called Gevudan, and yes, someone shot a wolf there once.

  41. koutchboom says :

    HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS WORK?

    It’s faster to just read THE WALKING DEAD comic then sit through that boring ass show.???? Seriously has there ever been another time where that’s true?

    Also American Horror Story had it’s best episode this week, that show is a lot of fun.

    • Droid says :

      I don’t think I’ll bother watching the second season of TWD. First season was pretty shit.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah you are better off, I’m mainly doing it now at this point to compare the comic….granted it’s so different now it doesn’t matter. To be fair…I think this season SO FAR is better, in a sense that its better acted better characters and story but it’s just fucking boring for some reason? I think the show suffers because the leads fucking blow. Rick never should’ve been an aussie they tend to ruin everything.

      • Jarv says :

        I watched precisely one episode of that and hated it.

      • Droid says :

        I think it was the writing. Darabont et al had delusions of grandeur and thought that it was a character driven drama. Something along the lines of The Road with Zombies. The first season had, quite frankly, terrible characterisations and development. I couldn’t give two shits about anyone, and some, like the wife and the douchebag best friend, I actively disliked. It was a zombie story without many zombies, and was mostly lifeless and dull. The best episode and character was the second one with Michael Rooker. At least he brought some energy to the show.

  42. koutchboom says :

    Also finally Caught Once Upon A Time….I was only interested because it’s from the writing team of Tron Legacy and surprisingly it’s a mildly similar idea they’ve conjured up with fairy tale people caught in real life not knowing they are fairly tales. MOST of the episode sort of sucked, don’t know how Jennifer Morrison aged 20 years in 2 years, and Jennifer Goodwin is a wee bit too ugly to be Snow White….also they’ve made Morrison’s character too smart/dumb, you know what I mean? She’s like that all knowing type…but then is a complete fucking idiot. Like some kid shows up at her door and he’s like “I’m YOUR KID!” and she flips out and is like “I don’t have a kid?” then the kid explains to her that 10 years ago she gave up a kid for adoption and that he is that kid………………………………….now I’ve only given up a FEW kids for adoption so I think if some random kid came to my door claiming to be mine I would at least recall those times I gave away a kid for adoption before freaking out.

    BUT BUT BUT……….it fucking ended very good and I wanna give the next episode a shot, it’s a fairly cool idea and since it’s ON DisneyBC I wonder how much they’ll tap into Disney fairy tales which could be cool. Though I sort of wish they just made Kingdom Hearts a tv show, this feels like the next best thing. It could be magically fun we’ll see….the cast isn’t that great which doesn’t help. But Gus from Breaking Bad is on it and I am looking forward to seeing him at least.

  43. koutchboom says :

    Also watched Evil Dead 1 last night….still loud and gory and good. Evil Dead 2 tonight.

    It’s sort of nuts with Evil Dead 1 like the last 40 minutes maybe only 10 words are really said.

    • Droid says :

      Evil Dead is great. Tree rape is the one negative. Not a fan of that. Evil Dead 2 is brilliant.

      Are they still doing the remake?

      • koutchboom says :

        Last I read last night it was still set to drop next year. The tree rape this time wasn’t that bad, it’s still pretty gnarly but it’s maybe not even the worst thing in it, it’s just shocking because it’s the first thing in the movie.

      • Droid says :

        What is Raimi doing next? Wasn’t he doing some Wizard of Oz movie?

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah that or a new Spiderman movie, who knows. We got 2 Wizzard of Oz movies coming…I think Rami’s has Franco? And 2 Snow White movies, one of which has Bob Hoskins and the other has Julia Roberts and is directed by Tarseem.

      • koutchboom says :

        I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m glad NONE of them are being directed by Tim Burton.

      • Jarv says :

        Just what the world needs.

      • Droid says :

        Bleh. I blame that motherfucker Tim Burton and his Alice in Wonderland shitfest.

        I also blame WB trying to fill the void left by no more Potters.

      • Jarv says :

        I blame Burton for lots of things- His PotA was garbage.

        By the way, the Evolution box set is out on 12th December and only costs £27.

        That’s got my name all over it.

      • Droid says :

        Does it have Burtons one in it? Cause the PotA box set is £15. Thats the 60/70’s movies. Then wait to pick up Rise when it goes cheap. And you avoid having the constant, gag-inducing stank of Burtons Apes in your home.

      • Jarv says :

        Yes. The completest in me is forcing me to get it…

      • Droid says :

        Yes. The masochist in me is forcing me to get it…

        Fixed it for you.

      • koutchboom says :

        It’s being remade by the guy who made that robot attack film that everyone went crazy about a year or two ago…and right away Rami picked him up:

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fede_Alvarez

      • koutchboom says :

      • D.Vader says :

        Goddamnit I hate that short. There’s zero narrative. There’s absolutely nothing meaty at all. Its a fucking FX short that relies on pre-existing, copyrighted music to be effective at all.

        And THAT fucker gets the director representation and a job in Hollywood? All is lost.

        Yeah I’m not bitter.

  44. Bartleby says :

    funny cause the first week it was on i only caught the last fifteen of once upon time and thought, hey , this is pretty good. then i csught up with the rest of the ep and realized its no that good.

    grimm is, so far, the more interesting show.

    • Droid says :

      Did anyone watch The Killing? I might check that out at some stage.

      • koutchboom says :

        Don’t.

      • Droid says :

        No good then? It’s been lauded by critics.

      • Jarv says :

        I was going to say that.

      • koutchboom says :

        Go read any review for the season finale. The Viking country dude was good though, he’s in Snabba Cash which I wanna see before it probably get’s remade over here as all none american low key crime flicks are want to do.

        I bet you are better off watching the Vikingland original version of it. UNNNNless you are a huge fan of Clarice Starling, because it felt like Clarice Starling the TV show.

      • koutchboom says :

        It’s funny because one the show first came on, because it was on AMC (Breaking Bad, Mad Men, The Walking Dead) people ate it the fuck up sucking it’s dick hard, because that’s what people want to do to AMC shows right now. BUUUUTTTT as the season wore on you could tell people hating it and hating it more, and then the finale happened and all the shows entire 100 fans went nuts and got fucking pissed.

        BUT that first episode that opens just like Silence of the Lambs and I made the comparison to Silence (i mean it starts with a red headed head strong chick jogging in the fucking woods…..and then gets called in on a case and has to show up still in her work out gear) fans said I was nuts….because far be it for a female detective show to either pay homage to probably the GREATEST female detective or at least admit some similarities because geeks and fans can never have their unbridled love for something ruined. Also she’s got a weird accent to which reminds me of Starling…..but ask a fan of the show and they’ll tell you they are nothing alike.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Don’t bother with The Killing. It starts off good, slow burn atmospheric interesting case and cops. then about halfway through the lose the story start throwing red herrings out just to throw them out and the ending sexists only to set up season 2.

      • Droid says :

        Looks like The Killing’s off my list then. Ta.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah that ending was a big dumper, and I sort of get why the show runner did it but it’s fucking annoying. The big thing about the original series is that it all wrapped up at the end of each season………..soooo everyone expected The Killing to do the same, but the creator didn’t want to be so predictable.

      • koutchboom says :

        Watch Breaking Bad instead.

  45. Just Pillow Talk says :

    Jarv, email sent.

    The circle is complete.

  46. Droid says :

    I saw Jeepers Creepers on dvd (prior to the news of the director being a pedo) and liked it quite a bit. The bit where he ends up in the Creepers lair is very effective. Watching it a second time at home after the cinema experience was always going to be a let down. Watching it a second time at all would lessen the experience.

  47. koutchboom says :

    Wait….I just found out or THINK that this new Three Stoogies movie isn’t some semi bio movie, it’s a fucking reboot of the franchise placing the three stoogies in today times………………………………………….fuck. Did anyone else know this? Why was I not informed?

  48. Xiphos0311 says :

    Up above y’all are talking about DVD commentaries. The absolute best one I have ever heard heard was on Lords of Dogtown because the director, Cathrine Hardwicke, and Emil Hirsch got into a screaming match and told each other to fuck off and eat shit.

    • Bartleby says :

      hahaha….I bet that’s good times. I loved the docu but never saw Lords of Dogtown. Is it worth watching?

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Lords of Dogtown a pretty decent movie but I’m biased. my mothers mental illness lead to us living in Venice for a while in the early 80’s, its where I learned to surf. I knew one of Stacey Peraltas half brothers and I met Jay Adams once sadly boarding by himself.

      • koutchboom says :

        Not if you’ve already seen the doc.

      • Droid says :

        The movies okay, but yeah its just a dramatised version of the doc. Stylistically very similar. Ledger was entertaining.

  49. D.Vader says :

    Hey guys, if you haven’t voted yet for my latest short, please do! Today’s the last day!

    http://26th.theabcsofdeath.com/t-is-for-tips/

  50. koutchboom says :

    Transporter 5 is looking GOOOOOOD!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: