Burt Gummer’s Rec Room- June 2012 Archive

A gathering place for firearms enthusiasts, paranoid survivalists and those who worship at the Church of Chang 

June, it’s hot, dry and I can’t sleep for the mating sounds of Graboids in the background.  Sounds like Don Murphy competing in the hot dog eating competition. Better break out the Elephant Gun. 

Disclaimer: This is the part of the Church that is the most no holds barred. None of it is intended with malice, and although it can on occasion seem a little bit fraught, it is banter rather than venom. So, be warned that this is like taking a naked swim in a piranha tank and not recommended for the faint of heart.

2,163 responses to “Burt Gummer’s Rec Room- June 2012 Archive”

  1. Droid says :

    I have to say, Ukraine supporters are taking the goal line blunder really well. And they only lost 1-0. 1-1 in the 62nd minute would have made it a whole different ball game. Back in 2010, all I heard for weeks is how England were robbed, and they got beaten 4-1.

    It’s nice to see.

    • Jarv says :

      It’s in part because he was a mile offside in the build up. Which, to be fair, I didn’t see at the time.

      Also, don’t forget, we were supposed to win it in 2010 and woz robbed and shit.

  2. Jarv says :

    I do believe that I’ve just fixed the email thingy. We should never receive another one. Hope this works.

    • Droid says :

      I don’t mind receiving email notifications for my reviews and whatnot. Just not the rec room because I post so much there, and I don’t need a notification every time someone says something.

  3. Jarv says :

    Starting to worry about this. Hearing and reading lots of “We can blag our way to a Spain v England final”.

    Want to knock this on the head now:

    No. We. Can’t.

    Next round opponents: Italy- vastly better than England. Probable 1-0 defeat,

    If we spawn through that, then

    Probable S.F oppnents: Germany. May as well pack the bags.

    • Droid says :


      But I do like to see the Poms get their hopes up, only to be dashed. They never learn their lesson.

      • Jarv says :

        I’ve not got my hopes up.

        I’m genuinely surprised that they’ve got this far. And I don’t hate them.

        Aside from Rooney.

      • Droid says :

        I said Poms, not you in particular.

      • Jarv says :

        Well, I can’t answer for the moron general public.

        Just hope they don’t tear whichever poor sod misses a penalty apart. Because Italy have only scored 4 goals in the whole tournament to date, and I can see this one going to Pens.

      • Droid says :

        Italy have only scored 4 goals in the whole tournament to date

        England have only scored 5. 2 of which were gifts.

      • Jarv says :

        Neither side is banging them in for fun.

        What I meant though, is that I can see it being 0-0. Or 1-0 to Italy. If it’s 0-0 then it’s penalties.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s really weird this. I’ve been reading the comments in the Guardian, and half of them are “Blah, England are shit, Blah”, about a third are “We’re lucky, but we’ve done better than expected and nice to see them playing as a team” and the last lot are “we can win”.

        It’s usually the other way round.

      • Jarv says :

        Something else that’s worth noting. This is the first time in over a decade that there’s some actual pride in the shirt. Even when they fail in the next round, that’s a quantum leap forward.

        Just need to get rid of Rooney and Terry/ Gerard will probably retire anyway, and it’s much better.

  4. Droid says :

    ALVH review at IGN. (normally generous to this type of shit)

    the movie takes itself so seriously that it never seems like it’s having any fun, so it’s tough to feel much of anything but ambivalence while watching all the bloody mayhem unfold.

    For the most part, though, all the vampire-killing sequences feel overly orchestrated and by-the-numbers. It’s like watching a video game walkthrough; it looks cool, but you’re not feeling anything except appreciation for the craftsmanship that went into making it.

    The visual effects are fine, with strategically utilized CG dust and mist obscuring some of the more potentially cartoonish touches. The makeup and wigs are hit-and-miss (Winstead’s old age makeup is terrible), and the sets, while period accurate, nevertheless make Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter feel like it was shot at Disneyland.

    Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter’s heart may be in the right place — and any film that makes people interested in reading up on the real Lincoln must be commended — but overall the film is, ironically, bloodless, chugging along from Great Lincoln Historical Moment to carefully choreographed action set-piece without ever generating much energy or enthusiasm.

    • Bartleby says :

      they have been entirely too generous to it. I’t a horrible POS. It isn’t bloodless, it just seems that way–it’s actually intended to be fairly gory, but the 3D and bad special effects make the gore almost impossible to see.The make-up is bad yes, but then so is the acting, and the ‘action scenes’ are so badly rendered that they aren’t even laugh-inducing, they just make you want to get up and leave, and if I hadn’t been sandwiched in the middle of a row of critics, I might have honestly left.
      There’s a scene where Lincoln is chasing the vamp that killed his ma, and they are in the middle of a random stampede of horses that is some of the worst CGI I’ve ever seen on a theatrical release, complete with vampire throwing horses at Lincoln. This narrowly avoids an Orang of Doom or whatever, but it’s such a piece of crap. Half a star, and that’s really just a gift. The 3D is the difference between watching someone take a particularly nasty vomit from across the room and being the person on the receiving end of said nasty vomit.

  5. Droid says :

    A superhero who wants their identity to remain a secret (Bats, Spidey etc) wears a mask for this purpose. It’s an important aspect to the character. They’ve got something to hide. This isn’t Wolverine or Blade, who are naturally freaks or outcasts. These are “normal” people who don’t want their identity known because it will make them vulnerable.

    Therefore the film (or funnybook or whatever) should respect this because it’s actually a strong narrative device. The reveal of the man behind the mask should be a big moment. Burtons Bats did it well. Toyed with the audience with the possible reveal of Bruce Wayne in a few scenes.

  6. Droid says :


    That ALVH knobjockey is trying to make Moby Dick.

    That will be AWFUL.

  7. Droid says :

    Great News

    The Depp remake of The Thin Man has been “put on hiatus”. Good.

    Amusing News

    Charlie Sheen has been cast as the US President in Machete 2.

    Reasonable News

    Casey Affleck is writing and directing a movie on baseballer Josh Hamilton. Don’t know who he is, but hey, I like baseball movies.

    Skills better utilised elsewhere News

    The writers of RotPotA are wasting their time on Jurassic Park 4.

    Movies for Jarv News

    Reese Witherspoon is starring in Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

    Colin Farrell in non-shitty remake shock news!

    Farrell and Rapace are in a thriller called Dead Man Down from the director of the original Dragon Tats.

  8. Droid says :

    Um… what. the. fuck?

    Michael Clarke, Patrick Cummins, Xavier Doherty, Brad Haddin, Ryan Harris, Ben Hilfenhaus, David Hussey, Mike Hussey, Nathan Lyon, Mitchell Johnson, James Pattinson, Ricky Ponting, Peter Siddle, Mitchell Starc, Matthew Wade, David Warner, Shane Watson.

    Honestly, what the fuck are they thinking?

    BTW, Cowan just needs to play in three tests to get a CA contract. Seeing as though he will against SA in the summer, why give away his contract to the likes of Mitchell Fucking Johnson?

  9. Droid says :

    Jarv, payday temptation. PotA boxset is £20 on bluray. Or £10 on dvd. At Play and Amazon.

  10. Droid says :

    Oh good. Cosmopolis is still on at the cinema near work. Will see it next week.

    Nothing much else out that I haven’t seen.

  11. Continentalop says :

    Actually, what modern actor could play Nick Charles as he is in the book? I always thought Bogie & Bacall would be the perfect Nick & Nora, but in the modern era who can project sophistication and wit with toughness & street sense? I’m drawing a blank.

  12. Droid says :

    Is Katy Perry really popular enough in Yankeeland to warrant a theatrical release concert type movie?

    I had to sit through the trailer to it a few weeks ago. I cannot see why anyone would want to pay money to see that.

    • Jarv says :

      Christ. Who would pay for that. Mind you Hannah flaming Montana made shit loads.

      • Droid says :

        I reckon Koutch will see it.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        ” I reckon Koutch will see it”

        That killed me!
        I am still cracking up.

      • Jarv says :

        First in line.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        I dodged the Hannah bullet, but I made up for it with The Tooth Fairy – oh the humanity!

      • Droid says :

        With The Rock?

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        Yup. With The Rock. The girls fell asleep!
        Ok, so it was after a heavy meal and was the last showing of the evening – about 9:00 PM i think, but still

      • Droid says :

        I at least hope you took that opportunity to bundle them out of the theatre and escape.

      • Jarv says :

        I’m still surprised that film was ever made to be honest.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        R2, i paid my money so I stuck it out.

        In my lifetime i have ever only walked out on one movie. Woody Allen’s Life and Death. Wayyy back in the 70’s

      • Jarv says :

        Only film I’ve ever walked out of was that 2033 shit.

      • Droid says :

        I’ve never walked out. The closest I came was about 15 minutes in to Hannibal. I grabbed my bag and did that half get up move, before remembering I’d paid 10 bucks to see it so I may as well watch it.

        I would’ve walked out of Very Bad Things but I was on a date with a hot chick and for some reason I thought she was enjoying it. Turns out she thought I was and we both sat through it because we didn’t want to offend each other.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        I should have walked out on Nic cage in Bringing out The Dead – not one damn zombie in it – other than cage himself.

        That movie was the worst I have paid to see in the past 15 years

  13. Droid says :

    I realise this is tongue in cheek, but it really is a dumb article. How does this shit end up in a major newspaper website?


      • Jarv says :

        This is bang on:

        But, most of all, we should welcome a Twilight reboot because it offers the perfect chance to correct everything that’s wrong with the current version. Imagine it: a Twilight where Bella has a functioning personality and isn’t just an empty cipher for a grown woman’s wrongheaded sexual belief system. A Twilight where the male characters exist for reasons other than how good they’ll look on a poster. A Twilight where someone actually questions why a hundred-year-old vampire enjoys hanging around with teenagers so much. A Twilight that tacitly apologises for indirectly bringing Fifty Shades of Grey into the world.

      • Droid says :

        It’s not though. Because you’d have to “reboot” the source material. The movie is abysmal, but it is a faithful adaptation of the book.

      • Jarv says :

        Isn’t that what he’s asking for though?

      • Droid says :

        No, he’s asking for a reboot of the film.

  14. Droid says :

    Jarv, how excited are you for Anna Karenina starring Keira Knightley, Jude Law and the knob from Kick Ass?

    On a scale of 9 to 10. 9 being extremely and 10 being pants wettingly.

  15. Toadkillerdog says :

    I have a question: is there any actor or actress that you will pay to see regardless the movie they are in?

    I ask because when thinking about Bruce Willis and the garbage i paid to see starring him just because I liked him as as actor, I wasted a lot of money! But and thinking about how I did that from from my teens until probably early 30’s with other actors such as reynolds, eastwood, ford, stallone, arnold, cruise and a few others, I wonder if it was just older age or something else that finally stopped me from doing that?

    • Droid says :

      Jenna Jameson.

      • Toadkillerdog says :


        good one
        remember Seka?

      • Droid says :

        No, I don’t. Talented?

      • Droid says :

        But to answer your question, no not really. I do tend to see all of Cruises films at the movies. But I don’t really look forward to movies the way I used to. I think, for me, the movie star has been replaced by a small group of favourite directors. I will see everything Spike Jonze makes at the cinema for example. And James Cameron. And I nearly always see Ridley films.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        She was the biggest star of the late 70’s early 80’s
        Not the most beautiful, but probably one of the better actresses, but honesty compels me to admit that was not her best attribute

      • Droid says :

        Probably the earliest recall of an adult film actress I can muster is Traci Lords.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        I should have included directors as well, because i did same thing for Spielberg, scorsese, depalma, romerao, cameron and a few others

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        There were some great ones in the 70’s – ones who actually tried to act as well.
        I was not a true connoisseur, but I sawr enough of the best and the worst to know the difference.
        The worst beyond shadow of a doubt, was: The Hunk and the horny humpers.

        A Hulk parody

      • Droid says :

        I take it the Hulk wasn’t terrified of his own penis in that one.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        He was more frightened by the paint they used on him!

  16. tombando says :

    This is something we all deserve.

  17. tombando says :

    Purple Osmonds Majesty.

  18. Continentalop says :

    Just finished Angel of Darkness, the follow up to Caleb Carr’s The Alienist. I think Xi read this as well. If so, what’s your opinion on the book Xi?

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      It was just OK. I sort of think Carr was screwed on this. The first book was so well written and had an interesting villain and protagonists(Stevie in particular) that there was no way the follow up would be as good. It also felt kind of rushed to me like it was put out as fast as possible.

      • Continentalop says :

        I agree with you. I actually like the villain in this one in theory better, a more interesting and unique concept for books, but something was off on the execution.

        The other thing that got me is that the first book was much more about the advances in forensic sciences and foretelling profiling, a kind of Victorian age CSI and Silence of the Lambs, which is very interesting. This one seemed more focused on the background investigations and especially the courtroom which made it a Victorian John Grisham, which is not as cool IMO.

  19. Continentalop says :

    I’ve realized why all these people are finding all this deeper meaning in Prometheus and going nuts over how complex and deep it is: it’s fucking cold reading.

    • Jarv says :


      Love that expression

      • Continentalop says :

        I’m probably not using the term 100% right, but it does pretty much sums up how I think people are finding Prometheus so deep and meaningful.

      • ThereWolf says :

        Cold reading – isn’t that what spiritual mediums do to clients?

      • Continentalop says :

        Yep Loup. So do BS FBI profilers.

        There is probably a better and more accurate term, but when I say “cold reading” I mean they through out all these vague, ambiguous stuff looking for hits or people to interpret in hindsight as being meaningful. I think a lot of die hard Prometheus fans are finding meaning where none was intended.

        Prometheus is now like the Book of Revelations – a bunch of crazy shit that people now study looking for meaning.

      • Continentalop says :

        “Throw” not “through”.

  20. Jarv says :

    OK- I’ve been very productive today:

    Escape from the Planet of the Apes published.
    The Gun in Betty Lou’s Handbag Scheduled for tomorrow AM,
    Pump up the Volume scheduled for Tuesday AM.

    • Droid says :

      I’ve been very productive today too. Finished Arkham Asylum and Uncharted 3.

      Now started Arkham City.

      Enormous bean bag FTW!!!

      • Jarv says :

        Did you get the Catwoman bits?

      • Droid says :

        Yeah downloaded it. Haven’t got to it yet.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s the first thing in the game!

        Install it- Because it’s her heist in the Courtroom, then her battle with Ivy. Also there’s something coming later that’s integral to the story.

      • Droid says :

        Yeah I just started the game again after I installed it and the intro said I missed the first two catwoman bits but can replay them. I just thought it was an add on.

      • Jarv says :

        It’ll switch back to her at a later point. The first two aren’t the really important ones.

        Make sure you collect the Riddler trophies when you can- they unlock all the predator challenges and whatnot.

      • Continentalop says :

        How are the Batman games? Is it just fighting or do you detective work?

  21. tombando says :

    Weekend watching: the trilogy from hell. I Spy, Eddie Murphy and Owen Wilson. Didnt work.

    GI Joe: Tatum, Wayans, etc. Ok but doesnt really work, kinda fun.

    Wild Wild West: Will Smith etc. Still shite. Had some ok parts: Hayek, big spider but not good.

    Gi Joe only one>Turdmen

  22. Jarv says :

    Strange statistical freak today-

    660 searches for Christina Ricci That Darn Cat.

    • Jarv says :

      Weekend viewing:

      Pump up the Volume
      Escape from the planet of the Apes
      Long Kiss Goodnight
      Gun in Betty Lou’s Handbag.

      All in all, not bad, aside from the fucking football.

      • Droid says :

        Weekend viewing…

        The Addams Family – Haven’t seen it since the 90’s. Laugh out loud funny. The casting is flawless. Raul Julia is so goddamn good. Huston, Lloyd, Ricci. All pitch perfect. The writing is superb. It rattles along and the majority of jokes hit. I’d rate this very, very highly. I always thought the second one was better, but I think this viewing has changed my mind.

        The Driver – Awesome. Made me feel a bit embarrassed for all involved in the new one.

        Finished 2 games and played a chunk of Arkham City.

        Watched 2 games of soccer. Spain vs France was okay. Italy vs England was like pulling teeth. Except the dentist keeps yanking the tooth, but not pulling it out. “Just kick a fucking goal you italian fucks!”

      • Jarv says :


        The Driver – Awesome. Made me feel a bit embarrassed for all involved in the new one.

      • Jarv says :

        I really like the first 2 Addams family films. The first is pitch-perfect, but the second has the best joke in either film (Wednesday sabotaging the summer pageant).

      • Droid says :

        I don’t think there are more than 2. The second one is great. I always thought it was better, but I’m not so sure.

      • Jarv says :

        There’s a third, and I was right about the casting. Remake also planned, burton was going to do it, but he’s gone.

        I didn’t know that Values had the censorship relaxed so they could be more violent.

      • Droid says :

        It’s funny. The new one is SO similar in a lot of ways. And it just completely fails.

      • Droid says :

        Ryan O’Neal is 3 for 3. Meaning I’ve seen 3 films he’s in (The Driver, Barry Lyndon and Zero Effect) and they’re all great.

        I fear this is a streak he cannot maintain, so I will cut my losses.

      • Jarv says :

        Stop now. Everything else he’s touched has been varying degrees of horrible. Particularly Love Story and Paper Moon.

      • Jarv says :

        Who’s in the new one? Tim Curry and Daryl Hannah?

        Not in the same league

      • Droid says :

        Ugh, that sounds horrendous. I will definitely avoid.

      • Jarv says :

        You mean Drive? Sorry thought you meant Addams Family.

        Basically, the following things make The Driver better:

        1) Credible storyline. He’s not stuck with the Jewish Mafia, and he’s not doing it because he’s a hero.

        2) Soundtrack. I cannot emphasise this enough.

        3) Violence. There’s virtually none in The Driver.

        4) Adjani

        5) O’Neal and Dern destroy Gosling and I the villains in Drive

        6) Car Chases are actually good, and actually credible

        7) Gosling. Miscast. While O’Neal wasn’t a hard man, he’s got a look and a style about him that Gosling can’t get anywhere near. You can also see O’Neal fucking someone up, which is a joke when Gosling does it.

        8) Direction- Walter Hill FTW!

        I can go on, but Drive is really a piss-poor copy.

      • Droid says :

        I meant Addams Family.

        On Drive vs The Driver, I agree on all points. I was sitting there during the entire film thinking “Is that Isabelle Adjani?” (because I haven’t seen her in very much at all).

      • Jarv says :

        I’ve only seen her in The Driver, Diabolique, Ishtar (stinking film), and Subway.

      • Droid says :

        Diabolique is what I remember her from. I’ve seen Ishtar, but have blanked that one.

    • Jarv says :

      This is weird. Over 800 now. Doing feck all this is going to be the busiest day, ever. That image is at the top of the search engines, and I’m not sure why.

  23. Droid says :

    Apparently Johnny Depp (49 years old) has busted up with his missus to fuck Amber Heard (26 years old). I thought she was a lesbian. Apparently not. One of those Anne Heche lesbians I guess.

  24. Jarv says :

    This is about to be officially our busiest day ever and it’s only 10AM. Weird spike. I’m a bit shocked 1000 people are interested in a photo of TDC

    • Droid says :

      Did she die or something?

      • Jarv says :

        I was wondering that. It’s certainly bizarre.

      • Droid says :

        Just asking, because maybe people were googling “Christina Ricci died” and it returned results of when her career died.

      • Jarv says :


        No, Speed Racer killed her career. She was only about 13 in TDC.

      • Droid says :

        Oh man. I can’t even remember her in Speed Racer. I’ve almost successfully forgotten that movie! Huzzah!

      • Jarv says :

        I only made it about 40 minutes in then had a Damascene epiphany.

        A white light came down from the heavens and said to me “what the fuck are you doing watching this pish? Turn it off and watch Re-Animator instead”.

        You can’t ignore advice like that from the man upstairs, so I didn’t.

      • Droid says :

        I saw it at the cinema.

      • Jarv says :

        Foolish. I’d have walked if I’d seen it in the cinema. I felt physically ill watching it.

        And bored. Nauseous and bored. What an achievement.

      • Droid says :

        Never walked out. I’ll stubbornly sit through dreck.

      • Jarv says :

        On a big screen, it would have come down to a choice: Puke in my seat or leave.

        I’d have left.

      • Droid says :

        Lucky that you didn’t see it then.

      • Jarv says :

        Ain’t it Fail News hits a new low:

        9 (FUCKING NINE!) Articles on the homepage to do with Brave.

        And fatasses review of ALVH:

        I get sent mounds of books, films & just stuff that people want me to write about or talk about on AICN and when PRIDE, PREJUDICE & ZOMBIES was published – it was sent to me about 7 times. When ABRAHAM LINCOLN VAMPIRE HUNTER came 5 times – I just could never really bring myself to read them. Just the titles and the covers – made me think this was some manner of joke

        Well, duh.

      • Jarv says :

        and he’s just flat-out lying about this:

        However – the big deal for me. The aspect of this film that just makes me smile and smile… it’s the action. The action is fucking insane. Crazy, impossible action – shot and captured in a truly beautiful manner. This isn’t some desaturated color drained flick. It loves golden and blue lighting. The smoke and dust – shot in moonlight and sunrise and sunset lighting is just gorgeous. The scene of Lincoln and Marton Csokas’ Jack Barts with the horses – just wow. Wow.

        Every trailer I’ve seen suggests otherwise.

      • Droid says :

        Meh. He’s a bullshit artist.

      • Jarv says :

        Not the word I’d have used. Fat fraud, more like.

      • Droid says :

        I don’t actually read his reviews so I don’t really care. He’s such a terrible writer that I can’t get through them. So the fact that he’s a liar, a fraud or a bullshit artist is irrelevant.

      • Jarv says :

        I was mildly curious as to how positive he would go based on that snippet the other day. I don’t normally, because it’s so incoherent.

      • Droid says :

        This is all I ever look at… the title. Tells me all I need to know.

        Harry says BRAVE is pretty damn great, despite the obnoxious screaming child in the theater!

        Didn’t that fat fuck say he tweets or texts or someshit during movies? That’s more obnoxious than a screaming child.

      • Jarv says :


        Is he writing that from the audience perspective at a screening he was at?

  25. Droid says :

    New Line has picked up an untitled thriller pitch from Allison Burnett…

    …who’s credits include Gone, Underworld: Awakening, Fame, Untraceable, Resurrecting the Champ, and Autumn in New York.

    Honestly, if this fuck can write this utter shit and keep selling screenplays, there’s no reason why we can’t.

  26. Jarv says :

    Unsurprising wailing and gnashing of teeth in the Guardian over England’s abject performance.

    I look at it this way: Shite, but better than expected.

    On the plus side: the back 5 were solid. This is a last tournament for Cole and Terry, but the two reserves are more than capable.

    Some young players, particularly up front- Welbeck, Ox, Carroll, look OK and may develop.

    Missing best players.


    Rooney. Should never play for England again.
    Welbeck. I’ve put him in the plus side, but I’m not sure. He’s got a ropey first touch and seems to be more of a tryer than anything else. So he can go in the minus side as well.
    Young. Either Young or Rooney. Not both. Played like a drain
    Milner. Shite
    Midfield can’t pass or trap the ball, embarrassing really.
    Walcott- young, so there is hope. Needs to be made into a striker, which he originally was.

    The biggest problem is still selecting on reputation rather than form. Even a blind man could see that Rooney was unfit and not match sharp. Roy needs to seriously gut the front 6 of this team, they’re either too old or too shit.

    I’d want to see:

    Johnson (or Richards), Lescott, Jagielka or Jones, Baines
    Dunno for holding midfield. Maybe Huddlestone, as I can’t think of other options.
    Wilshire, Cleverly, Ox
    Two forwards drawn from Walcott, Young, Caroll, and Welbeck.

    Younger and more skilfull than the incumbents- the under 20’s got to the European cup final last year, so the talent is there. Need to draw from them, rather than the overrated toss in the PL.

  27. Jarv says :

    Droid- do you know when the pointless ODI’s against Australia start? A session may be in order.

  28. Droid says :

    Michael Owen says what everyone thinks…

    “Pirlo was awesome but we have a player of a similar age and equally as good. Unfortunately he wasn’t there. #Scholes. Easy for people to say ‘until we keep possession better we will never win anything’. We are not as good as others at doing that. We played to our strengths but are just not quite good enough. We were hoping to ‘do a Chelsea’. If you are not the best team then you have to find an alternative way to win. The other option is to forget results for a while and start from scratch playing a different style. Doubt we have the type of players to do that though. Answer has to be to start coaching our youngsters a different brand of football.”

    …but is anyone listening?

    • Jarv says :

      Mostly agree

      Unfortunately he wasn’t there. #Scholes

      No. Scholes is 37. Even at 27 he wasn’t in Pirlo’s class.

      This bit though:

      If you are not the best team then you have to find an alternative way to win.


      The other option is to forget results for a while and start from scratch playing a different style. Doubt we have the type of players to do that though.

      Tend to agree. Depends entirely on the Arsenal lads and the Under 20 generation.

      Answer has to be to start coaching our youngsters a different brand of football.

      Hallelujah! Apparently, they have started trying to do this, but not expecting to see results for 10 years.

      • Droid says :

        Yeah, I wasn’t really referring to the Scholes thing. Moreso the start teaching your kids how to play modern football.

      • Jarv says :

        Germany had to do this after 2002. Took about 10 years to get their current side. They were shite back then- worse than us.

        We had a good side in 2004,and 2006, but the signs were already there and really, we should have been doing this from 2006 at latest. 2010 made it obvious, and this year just confirmed it.

        However, there’s signs of progress in the youth team ranks. See who comes through- and Arsenal of all clubs have put a lot in to Youth development so some should come from there.

        First thing to do, though: Drop Rooney. Forever.

      • Jarv says :

        This is interesting:

        The English style of football is much better suited to a rainy night in November than to hot weather in the summer. That is why we do well in qualifying.

        Now, I’m not sure I go with that we do “so well” in qualifying, but a lot of our kids learn on pitches that are saturated. You can’t play a zippy posession game in those conditions. Still, make them spend more time indoors, then, is the answer.

      • ThereWolf says :

        Been saying it for years – teach the kids keep-ball. We were always told pass & move. Somewhere along the way, pass & move fell by the wayside and tactics took over – and you’ve got to have a ‘good engine’. All that seems to matter is lasting 90 minutes (judging from last night, we can’t).

        We had no passing shape last night; two lines of 4 – we go sideways or back. No ‘triangle’ to pass around the opposition. But like Owen says, we’ve not got the players to do it.

        It’s about time we did coz we’re getting left behind.

      • Jarv says :

        Yes and no.

        Sport and styles are cyclical. We don’t seem to have moved on from the late 80’s. What we used to do was pass and move at pace- we didn’t play possession, it was about speed and power. Our best sides always played this way.

        Frankly, we’ve never, for loads of reasons, been able to do keep ball football. What does piss me off though, is where has the movement off the ball gone? You can’t play the way we traditionally have if you don’t move.

        Now, we don’t have the players that know how to run in to space.

        Lining up in 2 banks of 4 was clearly to make them as hard to break down as possible. I can’t say I blame Woy for that- what else was he going to do?

        Why are they so unfit? It’s so annoying.

      • Droid says :

        it was about speed and power

        Only problem with that is every English team I’ve seen weren’t fast. Okay, I’m not an expert because pre-2004 I could give a red fuck about soccer. But since then, I don’t see speed.

        To me, ball skills promote speed. Look at Italy the other night. Pirlo sends a long through ball to fuckhead Man City twat as he blasts past the defense. That happened a few times and it took a desperate lunge by Terry or Johnson to try to stop him.

        English players, in my opinion, have neither great speed or ball skills. And zero ideas going forward.

      • Jarv says :

        Not now- Pre 2004.

        Look at the side from 1996- it was all pace, comparatively direct, and with no fair amount of guile. Then 1998 had the emergence of Owen, Dyer etc, who were like lightening. Even 2002 was a quick side.

        This current lot? Nowt, nothing, nada.

        They don’t have the skill to play possession football, and they don’t have the strength and pace to play the way we traditionally have. They’re precisely nothing.

        Walcott excepted, who is quick.

        They make it worse, though, by having no movement off the ball- in 1998 if the ball gerard knocked through to Rooney it would have gone to Owen, and he’d have been away in a flash with the Ukranians picking it out of the net.

        The Champions league has become the goal, and that’s played at a much slower speed than we traditionally play at. We don’t produce the players to play in this fashion, so instead of developing them, the Sky 4 and the moneybags clubs simply buy them from abroad. Arsenal, to be fair, are starting to see the benefits of having a proper academy, but the PL sides need success NOW so don’t invest in the long term. This then congests the talent into the lower leagues- where pitches aren’t as good, and you’re just as likely to be playing in a quagmire as on a good surface.

        The whole thing is fucked.

      • Jarv says :

        In all honesty, we’ve been in decline since 2004. This also partially explains how old-fashioned they look. We’ve had the likes of Gerard playing for England since 2000.

        Every year, we’ve hung on to the same players who should have been pensioned off 6 years ago minimum. 2006 was bad, we didn’t even qualify in 2008, 2010 was worse and this is now rock bottom. We honestly can’t get any worse.

        So, the only way is up!

      • Jarv says :

        Also, to make things worse is the EU rules. Chelsea are one of the worst offenders for this- they don’t even make an attempt at a proper academy, instead poaching French players at 14 and then moving them across.

        Even then, though, they’ve got a few coming through (none were developed by them though)

      • Jarv says :

        Things to do to fix it:

        Every club that comes up to the PL has to have a functioning academy, and a deadline for the PL to set their own up- if they fail, then they’re relegated.

        Limit on foreign players in the team. You don’t have these players? Tough- go and develop one.

        The clubs simply have too much power. The ones in excessive debt, Man U etc, are prohibited from Europe if Debt is bigger than a certain percentage of turnover (to be fair, UEFA are doing this).

        Break the cretinous belief that club is more important than country. It isn’t.

        Teach kids indoor football. Sounds nuts, but most pitches are basically swamps for 8 months of the year.

        STOP SELLING OFF SCHOOL SPORTS PITCHES. (This is in general)

        Stop assigning kids to teams by age before 16. Make them play by height and weight. This will remove the physical specimen with no skill dominating thing.

      • Droid says :

        In Australian soccer and basketball, you’re allowed one “import”. The rest are Aussies (and I think Kiwi’s are included as well).

      • Jarv says :

        See Cricket and Rugby.

        Cricket has one overseas signing allowed. There are Kolpack players that get through, but that’s tending to die out now.

        Rugby has a salary cap, so they can’t afford them.

        Or we could just do what the Germans do and cap half the team with players from our nearest neighbours. We’ll have Bale and Ramsey to start with.

      • Droid says :

        Cricket has one overseas signing allowed.

        Unless you’re the English Cricket Team.


      • Jarv says :

        Every nation does it in every sport. Aside from us in Football, although I wish we did, because we might not suck as hard if we did.

        I’m still interested in what we’re to do with the likes of Strauss and Prior who’s lived in England since he was 4. Or those two kids- Meaker and Dernbach (being here since they were 12)

        Tell them that they can only play for SA because they weren’t born here?

      • Droid says :

        Again, pot meet kettle.

        You can’t pick on Germany (or anyone) for having Polish born players. Your South African players are well established. Anyway, Podolski was 2, and his grandparents were German. Klose was 5 or something, and his father was German.

        Hey, wiki tells me that Strauss went to Caulfield Grammar for a bit! That means we could have claimed him according to you.

      • Jarv says :

        You could- if he stayed, came up through the ranks and then expressed the desire to play for Australia. You can have him now, if you like.

        His parents moved bloody everywhere, I’ve got a feeling he also lived in Kiwi land for a while before they settled. What are you meant to do, stop them from playing for the country they settled in?

        This has just hit the nail right on the head, though:

        When the ball reached him, England’s moves tended to break down. Only his status, it seemed, kept him on the pitch.

        Fucking sponsorship selection.

      • Jarv says :

        Yorkshire don’t have any this year, I don’t think. They had that Aussie, Starc, signed, but fucked his visa up.

        Apparently the home office saw the Work Permit and occupation “Fast bowler” then saw “Forename” as “Mitchell” and didn’t bother reading on.

      • Droid says :

        Or we could just do what the Germans do and cap half the team with players from our nearest neighbours.

        Good god. Pot, meet kettle.

      • Jarv says :


        If it’s good enough for them, then we may as well do it as well.

      • Droid says :

        Unfortunately, South Africa don’t have a large pool of talent for you to steal from.

      • Jarv says :

        Not that move here anyway- Football is the black sport in SA.

      • Jarv says :


        No fucking wonder we suck:

        In the early days of the Euro 2012 finals, Wayne Rooney flew his wife and child to Warsaw aboard a private jet. An unwelcome reminder of the Wag frenzy of Baden‑Baden six years ago, it was the kind of self-indulgence to which England’s defeat in Kiev on Sunday night should finally, at long last, put a stop.


      • Droid says :

        How is flying his wife and child to Warsaw “no wonder we suck”?

        Not sure what that has to do with football. Flying his wife and child to a tournament he’s not even playing in at that stage.

      • Jarv says :

        3 things:

        1) Private jet.

        2) Self-indulgence

        3) Approved by management.

        They’re a group of pampered fuckheads that nobody in authority dares stand up to. They don’t learn, because they think they’ve already got it all.

      • Droid says :

        Um, it’s insanely naive to think that high paid footballers don’t have private jets. I simply don’t see your point. The quote you posted says it was early in the tournament. He’s not playing, he’s got money, he flies his family out on a private jet.

        Have a go at him for being a cunt on the pitch, sure. And the reasons for him being selected. But to me, this is petty nitpicking. A case of the haves and have nots.

      • Jarv says :

        You’re missing my point-

        It’s indicative of their mindset: they’ve already “made it”, they’ve got too much money, they play for the big clubs, and they genuinely believe their own bullshit. A private jet is an insanely luxurious thing to be able to hire for two people. It’s fine being opulent, I don’t care about how much money anyone has or how they spend it. If he’d played brilliantly, been razor sharp and we’d been unluckily eliminated then that would be one thing. He didn’t. He was shit on toast, looked like he didn’t give a fuck and couldn’t be arsed to stand between the defender passing the ball and Pirlo- which was all the fat cunt had to do in the first half.

        George Best didn’t have a left foot, so went away and practised until he did. Can you imagine one England player putting in the extra work? Or Wilkinson in the Rugby used to practise every day for hours after training split up. Can you see them doing it? We all know that they’ve got significant problems (not least of which is fitness), but a couple of extra hours a day just passing it to each other across distance until they LEARN TO CONTROL THE FUCKING BALL and pass in a straight line would do them a world of good.

      • Droid says :

        I agree. I’m missing your point. I simply do not understand what you think this…

        A private jet is an insanely luxurious thing to be able to hire for two people.

        has to do with this…

        If he’d played brilliantly, been razor sharp and we’d been unluckily eliminated then that would be one thing.

        You mean that if he’d played well the jet would be okay?

        The jet is 100% irrelevant. Fuck, if I was sitting around watching my team play for 10 days, and I had the money he has, I’d fly the missus out too. It wouldn’t make any difference to training or any of that shit.

      • Droid says :

        Also, Hodgson instructed his players to play Pirlo that way. He didn’t want them pressing him because it would break their shape and their shape is all he had to work with.

        I have no idea if the game would’ve been any different if they’d pressed him. But it was Woy’s call. It may have resulted in England and the viewing public being put out of their misery in normal time.

      • Jarv says :

        I thought the plan was for Rooney to press and the rest to hold the two lines.

        Either way, didn’t work.

      • Jarv says :

        I do, however, blame Woy for not taking Rooney off. He should have left Welbeck on and played Carroll with him.

      • Jarv says :

        Also, one thing that pissed me off something fierce was their inability to play it at the back. Against Italy, they had to take the sting out of that second half- make them run after the ball a bit. This means playing it among the back 5 and the defending midfield players.

        Instead it was pass-pass-back to Hart- THUMP! GET IT ANDY!

        This is bound to happen when you play terry at CB

      • Jarv says :

        Because it’s not the first time- they’re over-rewarded (particularly in an England shirt) and over-pampered. There’s been a suspicion with them for a long time that they don’t give a fuck about playing for the nation.

        If he sweated bullets for the cause, then played out of his skin as the “white pele” (fucking laughable) then that would be one thing. If he even played as well as he does for Man U, then, hell, I’d take that.

        But he turned up unfit, fat and out of shape.

        He then is indulged to the point of lunacy, plays like shit, doesn’t give a toss. He treated it like a fucking holiday camp, indulged whatever he wanted (did any of the others fly their spouses out? I don’t know, and am curious- why didn’t she come out with the rest of them) as he always does and then couldn’t keep a hold of the fecking ball.

      • Droid says :

        Honestly, why do you care? What difference does it make whether he flew his wife out on a private jet, she came out with other wives, or she flew Ryanair to some airport in the asshole of Poland and travelled 150km by bus to the nearest city? It makes not a jot of difference. This is petty, superfluous whinging.

        I agree with you on a number of points, but you’re moaning about this because he didn’t play well. Like this is some sort of indication of the blase attitude he has towards playing for the England side. It’s completely and utterly irrelevant to this situation. He didn’t play well because he wasn’t match fit, he’s clearly overrated, and the entire England side failed to play attacking football. He was gifted a goal against Ukraine, and came up against Italy, who were far, far superior, and defensively bullied any English attempt to get forward. And Rooney and the rest don’t have the foot skills to get around, or through, a superior, organised defence.

        You’re clearly upset about Rooney flying his wife out on a private jet, as if it sums up all that is wrong with the abject performance he gave the other night. But in my opinion, it’s irrelevant. You should, instead, blame those in charge of the national side for selecting one player regardless of match fitness and preperation. Woy selected him because of the pressure of expectation to do so. It’s the same mentality that has allowed all the older players to keep their place over the years. The fear of public backlash of not selecting him and losing, is greater than the fear of selecting him and losing.

      • Jarv says :

        Don’t get me wrong. I am cross with Woy for playing him. It’s a Nike selection, blatantly.

        The best managers are those that are strong enough to drop the “star” player who makes the team worse: Ramsey dropped Jimmy Greaves, Jacquet dropped Cantona and Ginola, and so forth. We need a manager with the strength to get rid of the ego freaks in the squad, and just pick the best fecking team. Which does not include Rooney.

        It’s just a symbol of many of the mental problems that England footballers have. It doesn’t just sum up the other night, it symbolises them, the way they think and the way they play at every tournament by the national side since 2006. Including 2006.

        Until they learn that they aren’t the fucking best since Brazil 1970, and until they realise that they need to fucking work and practise rather than living lives of ridiculous and unmerited luxury, they won’t get better.

      • Jarv says :

        I think they’re overrated, spoiled, arrogant and cosseted bastards. All of the older generation- don’t know about the kids yet.

        Do you not remember the Baden Baden fiasco a few years ago? Reminds me of that.

      • Jarv says :

        I saw a good article the other day comparing England and Germany.

        Germany have relatively little success in Europe, and a league which is basically not a draw.

        England have much greater success in Europe, and a league with loads of cash to throw about.

        Germany had Effenberg, who quit playing for Germany ludicrously young to play for his club- and was slaughtered by every German not a Bayern Fan.

        England have nobody like this.

        Germany’s national team, on the other hand, is vastly successful. The most successful outside of Brazil, arguably.

        England’s national team is shite.

        There’s loads of them, on these lines, but apparently the National Side is the be all and end all in German Football- it never looks like it with our lot. (Although, some headway made on this front this time).

      • Jarv says :

        Although the Rugby clubs are now bleating that the Salary cap means they can’t compete in Europe. Which is nonsense.

  29. tombando says :

    How many cans in a 6 pack?

  30. Droid says :

    Looking through recent box office because I’m bored. Looks like The Dictator hasn’t done as badly as it seemed a few weeks ago. It’s up to US$142m worldwide. The budget is listed as $65m.

    Means that, if they were smart, they’d give SBC another film, but with a maximum budget of US$20m. There’s an audience there. Just not enough for such a big budget.

    • Jarv says :

      It’s been out forever, though.

      There is an audience for him, but that had far too high a budget, and a full marketing press. I wouldn’t give him that again, $20m at most.

      • Droid says :

        It’s been out forever, though.

        Not sure what difference this makes.

      • Jarv says :

        To total Box Office? The longer you leave it out the more the total rises.

        WB pulled this trick with Stalkerman. They needed to get it over a certain amount so kept it in the cinema for fucking yonks.

      • Droid says :

        Umm… So what? It’s out, and people are going to see it. That adds to the box office.

        I don’t think I understand what your point is.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s a PR exercise. The longer it stays out, the closer it limps to a predefined total.

        A useful indicator is the amount it’s taking by screen each week. I forgot where I read about this, but some films like The Dictator, and Stalkerman, basically were playing to empty cinemas with a handful of people in them. The purpose is for licenses etc.

        This actually annoys me when Studios do this, as it’s bed blocking.

      • Droid says :

        If no one was going to see it, it wouldn’t still be out. They probably play one or two strategically timed sessions a day.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s just occurred to me that I’m not being particularly clear here.

        The amount taken per screen dips below a certain level.

        Some films, this is instant pull time. Others, however, have a lot invested in them by the studio for whatever reason- could be Budget, could be star making, could be marketing, hell, it could be some suit’s pet project.

        As a result, instead of being pulled, they’re given more time to make it to a total that is deemed a “success” for whatever reason. To whip up all the “fuck it” crowd- those that don’t particularly give a fuck what they see, just want to see something.

        The take declines per screen by the week, but the total inches closer to the arbitrary amount. In the case of The Dictator, I wouldn’t be surprised if it wasn’t $150m.

        As soon as it hits that, they pull it.

        This is what I mean about bed blocking. It’s not a sign of interest in the film.

      • Jarv says :

        Also, it tends to happen when they don’t want to put something up against a juggernaut. In this case, Bayvengers, Promethues and now Spider-Tampon are all around. Lionsgate aren’t sticking anything up against them, so leave the Dictator out.

      • Droid says :

        It’s also counter-programming. A comedy or some romcom drivel often comes out around the same time as big “male-centric” movies. Look at that Ted shit coming out a few days before Spiderman. What you get is a) 3 or 4 days so the nerds can go see Ted, and b) after Spiderman comes out you get all the counter-programming.

      • Droid says :

        Anyway, Killer Joe is out this week, so I’m going to see that. And Cosmopolis this week.

      • Jarv says :

        To be fair to the dictator- it’s only had 40 days. However, I note that in the US it’s hovering at $58m. I think they’ll keep it out until it gets up to the $65m quoted budget.

      • Droid says :

        I think it will drop out when Ted comes out.

      • Jarv says :


      • Jarv says :

        Example a) Superman Returns. Total take: $200,081,192. Amount of time on release? 18.2 weeks.

        Example b) Batman Begins. Total Take: $205,343,774. Amount of time on release? 20 weeks.

        The point is that both of these were efforts at building a franchise and needed to get over $200m in the US. Stalkerman is more indicative, because that was literally pulled as soon as it limped past the 200m barrier.

        Both of them, incidentally, finished at about £350m-£400m globally. However, Stalkerman was still a flop, because it had a pre-marketing budget of $270m.

  31. Droid says :

    Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy are so friggin’ annoying in the Batman games. Hamill is great as Joker though.

    Also, I played the Catwoman parts. I actually liked her moves more than Batmans. She’s a lot quicker.

    • Jarv says :

      I like Harley, don’t care about Ivy.

      You got to the Penguin yet? Hamill FTW!!!

      Catwoman is really good in it.

      • Jarv says :

        Oh, and go to the toy factory to the far East of the map, just south of GPD.

        Well worth doing.

      • Jarv says :

        Oh, yeah, it sounds silly, but make sure you do the Waynetech AR things,

        Of the other side missions, A shot in the dark is quite good fun, as is the phone thing with Zzasz, don’t bother with the serial killer or the watcher though. Both of them are annoying, and I only managed them by accident.

      • Droid says :

        I started the zzasz one. But I keep hearing the phone ringing while I’m in the middle of doing something else and ignoring it.

        I did the first AR one. The gliding one.

      • Droid says :

        I’ve also teamed up with Bane on destroying Titan canisters or something or other.

      • Jarv says :

        That’s the one. Piss easy, and you come across the cannisters as you’re doing the game.

        The one that pissed me off was Hush. Spent fucking ages looking around for the corpses.

      • Droid says :

        Yeah, I’ve already found two of them by chance.

        The problem I have with the game is that it’s a little too button mashing punch punch kick kick. And when you’re trying to take out a group of armed minions, there’s no real way (that I know of) to seperate them. You can’t lure one away with noise or something like that. You can create a diversion but they all react. So I end up just perching up high, dropping down, taking one out and then flying off to my perch again as fast as I can.

      • Droid says :

        Also, you can shoot them with the electricity gun thing to make them fire their weapon, but they don’t shoot anyone else so it’s pointless.

        And also! I spend far too much time in detective mode. Simply because it’s so much easier to see where everyone is, and where the entrances are.

      • Jarv says :

        The Electricity gun is actually quite good. If they’ve got bats and whatnot, and you shoot it, then they will clobber each other. You can also fire it into pools of water if you see them standing in it. Although, It’s primarily to open doors and whatnot with.

        The freeze pellet stops them in their tracks. You’ll get that later. Once you get used to the full range of gadgets then it’s much less button-mashy. I almost glide round now in fights as it’s that smooth. It does set up a few set pieces where you have to fight large groups. I tend to avoid confrontation, particularly later in the game, because of the snipers.

        You can lure them away with noise, but I don’t think you have it yet. The Sonic battering is your friend for this.

      • Jarv says :

        Also, you can use it to fire armoured enemies into other enemies with much hilarity.

      • Droid says :

        This is quite interesting. Apparently people were pissed off by the shitty ending to the third game in the Mass Effect series. from what I read, it kind of just ended, and after 3 games of the same story and characters, players wanted a more satisfactory conclusion. So the game developers are releasing an expanded ending.


        2GB download. But I commend them for doing it. Should’ve done it the first time around, but at least they didn’t just tell the gamers to fuck off.

      • Jarv says :

        This is the FF13-2 fuck up.

        The ending is “To be Continued”. They meant that you could explore all the alternate timelines, but there was such a shitstorm that they’re probably going to have to do FF13-3.

        Which will be interesting, because they’ve now killed/ disabled (of the major characters): Lightning, Fang, Vanille, Serah,

        and then Snow is trapped in the time Vortex,

        Which leaves Hope, Sazh and Noell. These are the worst 3. In the first game, I only used Light, Fang and Vanille. In the second I basically led with Serah, and ignored Noell.

        It was a cracking ending, but they need to do the last part now.

      • Jarv says :

        Apparently, Rocksteady are working on Arkham 3 which will be all of Gotham, GTA style.

        Full rogues gallery, full detective and so forth.

        Fucking hell. That could be awesome.

      • Jarv says :

        Pah. Hamill says he’s not doing the Joker again. Double pah.

      • Droid says :

        Why not? Seems like an easy gig.

      • Jarv says :

        He’s been doing it for about 20 years now. I think he’s bored. He wasn’t going to do Arkham Asylum until they threw lots of money at him persuaded him with the quality of the script. Then he definitely wasn’t going to do Arkham City until they threw lots of money at him persuaded him with the quality of the script.

        So I’m sure he’s not going to do it until they throw lots of money at him Come up with a great story, script and plot for Arkham World.

      • Droid says :

        Arkham Island?

      • Jarv says :

        Arkham World.

      • Droid says :

        So the entire world is Arkham?

        That’s dumb.

      • Jarv says :

        No, they’re opening up all of Gotham, and maybe a few other locations. I can tell you why, but it’s a huge spoiler.

      • Droid says :

        Then it’s not Arkham World then.

        Arkham Asylum. Set on the island housing the Asylum.

        Arkham City. Arkham has been moved and is now part of the city. Makes sense.

        Arkham World. Arkham isn’t the entire world. Doesn’t make sense. Dumb name.

      • Jarv says :

        It comes from some dialogue late in the game. It’s honestly not as dumb as it sounds. The way it will probably work is that you’ll have Arkham as the whole of Gotham, and then go to the “Arkham” sections of Metropolis or Bloodhaven.

        Aaargh. This is so difficult to do without spoiling.

      • Droid says :

        Okay, I’ll drop it. It just sounds dumb to me. I’ll wait until I’ve finished.

      • Jarv says :

        It does make sense. It ties in to what Protocol 10 is, and the overall plot. Also, I completely forgot, but there’s a hell of a lot of background detail revealed by the collectables. All the stuff with The Mad Hatter ties right back to the start of Arkham Asylum, It’s a hell of an overarching long-range story.

        How much of the Riddler’s stuff did you bother with with Asylum? I suspect not a lot. I can tell you what’s what if you want from that game that ties in to city without spoiling.

      • Jarv says :

        Having said that. It’s not a great title.

        Not sure what you would call it. Arkham Revelation? Arkham Destruction?

      • Droid says :

        Arkham Rises.

        The Amazing Arkham City.

        2 Arkham 2 Furious.

        For a few Arkhams More.

        Honey, I blew up the Arkham.

      • Jarv says :

        The Good the Bad and The Arkham,

        Three Arkhams and a superhero

        Arkham: Legacy (actually that’s a serious suggestion)

        Batman v Arkham: Requiem

      • Droid says :

        Batman: The Arkhaming.

        Look Who’s Arkhaming Too.

      • Jarv says :

        Arkham: Electric Boogaloo.



        Arkham Resurrection

      • Droid says :

        Arkham: Evolution
        Arkham: Rise of the Lycans
        Arkham: Awakening

        Arkham: Apocalypse
        Arkham: Extinction
        Arkham: Afterlife
        Arkham: Retribution

        Possibilities are endless.

      • Jarv says :

        Beneath Arkham,
        Escape from Arkham,
        Rise of Arkham
        Conquest of Arkham
        Battle for Arkham

        Arkham Academy 3: Batman on Patrol

      • Droid says :


        Arkham Academy 5: Assignment Gotham Beach

      • Jarv says :

        Arkham Academy 7: Mission to Moscow.

      • kloipy says :

        Did you guys check the stats today? Pillow’s review for ‘That Darn Cat’ has just about 1000 hits today. People must really be excited about that film haha!

      • Jarv says :

        Saw it. It’s all from one picture- and in the space of three hours.

        Insane. We were trying to work out why this morning.

      • kloipy says :

        must be a pretty important picture

      • Jarv says :

        Course it is. We put it up…


      • Jarv says :

        It’s happening again- about an hour ago- 240 odd hits straight on it. Weird.

      • Droid says :

        I bothered with nothing Riddler related in Asylum. I finished the game and started City.

      • Jarv says :

        OK- there’s a load of backinfo that relates directly to City-

        Particularly regarding Quincy Sharp. Let me know when you get to him, and I’ll let you have the back info. I imagine that you’re not going to bother with it in City either?

      • Jarv says :

        It’s a vast story, actually. Really well planned out and properly epic.

        It’s so big, and everything is so well linked, that I don’t believe for a second that they don’t know where it’s concluding.

      • Droid says :

        Dunno. In reality? Probably not. But you never know. I reckon I’ll be busy with City as well as other games. If I do, it won’t be for a long time.

      • Droid says :

        I mean, before picking up Asylum again on saturday, the last save was from December 2010. So I tend to take ages to even finish games.

      • Jarv says :

        I’ll probably have forgotten as well.

      • Jarv says :

        There’s quite a lot in the way of hints actually as to where they’re going in the side missions. Azrael tells Batman that destruction is coming, and Gotham will burn, and I’ve just discovered that the Scarecrow features. I’m going to find him tonight.

        Also, in the Sionis mill office, there’s a positive pregnancy test, and if you listen to some of the radio dialogue, apparently the Joker boned Harley in public. It’s quite funny, actually.

      • Jarv says :

        They’re all gliding. There’s 4 of them on basic. It’s worth doing because it gives you the grapnel, which makes getting round gotham so much faster.

        You can come back to the Zzasz one whenever you feel like it- and in fact, I wouldn’t bother until the end, you need all Batman’s gadgets to take him down.

      • Droid says :

        Okay. I’ll defitely do the AR ones then. I like the grapnel.

      • Jarv says :

        Yeah, you can launch off the top of buildings and get a lot of speed and height. Makes crossing the city so much faster.

      • Droid says :

        The whole high pitched, whiny, nasally “wittle baybee” voice is really grating. I dislike Ivy mostly because of the first game. The plants and whatnot were annoying.

        I saw Penguin at the beginning, but haven’t really had much to do with him yet.

      • Jarv says :

        I like her in it. I think she’s funny. Ivy is barely in it, you’re actually done with her now, pretty much.

        The villains in it are…

        Joker, Harley, Ivy, Solomon Grundy, Penguin, Mad Hatter (this is fun), Ras, Hugo Strange, Talia, Freeze (Well handled as well), Bane, Hush (don’t bother with this cunt), Deadshot, Aziel (don’t bother with this cunt either, unless you get a dose of completionitis), The Riddler, Killer Croc, Ivy, 2Face (don’t like him), Zzasz, and one I won’t spoil.

        The most important ones are Penguin, Joker, Freeze, Strange and Ras. A lot of the others are minor irritants.

        Some of the henchmen are fecking annoying as well- those cunts with car doors, and the armoured ones especially.

  32. Echo the Bunnyman says :

    Jarv, White Collar Hooligan guy emailed us back. He’s suggested an interview time and has also suggested a phone interview as possibility. Check your mail.

  33. Droid says :

    Managed to squeeze out 700 words on The Star Chamber. Reckon that’s about as much as I can muster. About 400 words less than my usual minimum. Time for a wrap up paragraph and that’s about it.

    • Jarv says :


      To let you know, Pump up the Volume is set for the usual AM time tomorrow. There’s nowt between now and then though.

      • Droid says :

        I’ll send it home. See if I can finish it off tonight. It’ll go up at some stage. I’ll avoid tomorrow AM at any rate.

  34. Continentalop says :

    Did you say Paper Moon is horrible up above Jarv? Man, that is pretty much the last really good Peter Bogdonavich movie. Paper Moon is damn good.

    See it Droid, and then you’ll be 4-for-4 with O’Neal (5-for-5 if you see A Bridge Too Far).

  35. Continentalop says :

    Guess what? You Brits might not be responsible for the disaster that is the Middle-East after all.


  36. Jarv says :

    Got that email, Jonah.

    I can’t make it at that time. Got an appointment at the hospital and can’t make it across london in time.

  37. Jarv says :

    Last night, played a bit of Arkham City and watched a lot of Man v Food.

    He is one fat bastard, although the Hellfire wings challenge looked like it was agony. I like hot food, but I wouldn’t go for that.

  38. tombando says :

    I like Bizarre Foods and Anthony Bourdains travel shows as well.

    • Jarv says :

      Never seen them. I may look them up.

      He’s an exuberant chubby bastard on Man v food.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        I absolutely loved Man vs Food.
        He stopped doing them about a year and a half ago.
        No one ever said the reason why but a pretty good guess is that his doctor told him he was killing himself with the challenges – he is actor not a competitive eater.

        But my wife and I have actually visited several of the places he has been in in multiple cities.

        If I new we would be in a city that he visited I made it a point to try and find at least one of the places if we had the time and if it appealed.

        By far the best place we visited was Pappys in St. Louis.
        The best brisket, bbq chicken, and pulled pork i have ever tasted. The third best ribs I have ever had and top five rib sauce.

        That place was extraordinary.

        We hit places in, Chicago (of course) Puerto Rico, Sarasota, Pittsburgh, New York (of course) Austin, St. Louis, Kansas City, Columbus, Minneapolis and a few others.

        he does a best sandwich show now, which is really just a rehash of his greatest hits and other travel channel shows.

        I love Bizarre foods, that boy is insane. There is nothing I mean nothing he will not try at least once, live or dead, or dead ten years.

        Bourdain is good, it took me a while to warm up to his shows, I like them more for the travelogue than the actual food.

        If you get the idea that my family loves to travel, you would be correct

      • Droid says :

        And eat. I get that idea too.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        And drink too!

        My wife teaches zumba, and thank God otherwise we would both be enormous. I have managed to stay within 10 pounds of my Corps days weight, but it has been a struggle.

        The girls help by being so active, but damn if i do not feel the age some times in the knees.

        I need to drink more

      • Droid says :

        Drinking more is the answer to all lifes problems. Bar the problems drinking more creates of course. But you solve those by drinking more.

      • Jarv says :

        I’m sure that’s a Homer Simpson quote- something like “Beer! The cause of and solution to all of life’s problems”

      • Droid says :

        That’s the Simpsons quote.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        You drink until your head hurts then drink until the pain goes away.
        I learned that from Cerebus the aardvark.

        Who says comic books are dumb?

      • Jarv says :

        Talking about which, I’ve been reading about LXG’s sequels- is it really necessary to have every character raped?

        Seriously, Mina Harker: Raped. Nemo’s Daughter: Raped. The Invisible Man: Raped (By Hyde)

        I mean, what the fuck?

      • Droid says :

        As a result…

        The oldest living human beings childhood: Raped.

      • Jarv says :

        Seriously, it’s like he’s addicted to having his major characters bummed.

        I know he went on to write that paedophilic Lost Girls thing, but really, what a cunt.

      • Droid says :

        Apart from Turdmen, I’ve not read anything he’s written.

        Who’s worse? Miller or the Watchmen guy?

      • Jarv says :

        Which Miller? The one who gave the world Wanted, or the one who directed the Spirit

        Moore is insane, but as a rule is trying something with his stuff. The first Millar is a nasty, juvenile twat, and the second was at least good in the past but sucks now.

      • Droid says :

        I did mean Sin City Miller, but either apply.

      • Jarv says :

        Sin City Miller is probably same as Moore, in that I think Moore is hopelessly overrated.

        Miller nowadays? Sucks balls. The Spirit FFS!

        Millar? Always been a cunt, always will be a cunt: Wanted, Kick-Ass and so forth.

      • Droid says :

        I know he went on to write that paedophilic Lost Girls thing, but really, what a cunt.

        Gingerfats has been trying to get that made into a movie starring Hit Girl.

      • Jarv says :


      • Toadkillerdog says :

        Alan Moore – he’s British you know?


      • Jarv says :

        He’s weird. Believes in “Magick” (SIC) and thinks he’s a druid.

      • Droid says :

        Oh, so close to being awesome. Just a few letters of the alphabet separate him from eternal awesomeness.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        I think it is a statistical dead-heat of which one is more perverse. But I think Moore has more published material that speaks to his various perversions than Miller does.

        Both are assholes, talented but assholes. But Miller should stay far away from motion pictures.

        Millers daredevil work (artist/writer) and of course his dark knight (artist/writer) and to a much, much lesser extent, ronin, have given him a pass for years. But like everything it is what have you done for me lately, and his lately has sucked.

        Moore has consistently written very compelling works but his fame has allowed him to indulge some of his worse desires.

      • Droid says :

        I’ve never read anything by Miller all the way through, but I remember reading a bit from one of his Batman funnybooks and everyone just sounded like an asshole. It wasn’t good writing. I liked the artwork though. Does he do that or does someone else do it?

      • Jarv says :

        He does it. Which is why I tend to think he’s better than Moore, who’s just a writer.

      • Droid says :

        Well, in that case I’d rate Miller over Moore based on the artwork vs the pretentious boring shite of Turdmen.

      • Jarv says :

        I genuinely think Moore is hopelessly overrated.

        Turdmen in particular.

      • Jarv says :

        Also, I tend to think The Dark Knight Returns>>>>> Anything Moore has done.

        Well, at least until Superman shows. Which is a bit wank.

      • Jarv says :

        Moore has moved into films as well.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        I have been out of the comic book world for quite a while (since cerebus stopped publishing) so I am not up to date, but Millers early work on daredevil was and is a true landmark. The art and writing – he did it all but I think klaus janson did the inking, or came on later, was magnificent.
        It turned a grade z level hero that had slipped to bi -monthly status – one step from cancellation, into one of the best if not the best comic book series of its time. And its time coincided with the height of Xmen and Iron Man, and that is coming from an Iron Man lover.

        He worked closely with janson on Dark Knight, and his style changed, but that is still mostly him.

        I loved the writing in the first dark knight series.

        In fact i have a very hard time determining which of my top three favorite graphic novels is best.

        Kingdom Come, Watchmen, or Dark Knight returns.

        From a pure artistic standpoint watchmen can not hold a candle to the others. i mean come on Ross and Miller?

        I was in Pittsburgh a few months ago, and i sawr a Ross exhibit at the Andy Warhol, his original on display just breath taking.

        But it is the writing that makes watchmen great. Still, i go back and forth between who is number one in my mind

      • Jarv says :

        I actually don’t think Watchmen is a fraction as clever as it thinks it is.

      • Droid says :

        I’m bemused by Watchmen’s reputation. I don’t consider it great writing. Maybe when compared to other funny books? I’ve not read any.

      • Jarv says :

        I am too. I don’t get it.

        I’m sure it was all very clever back at the time, but it’s so smug and full of itself.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        jarv, i agree with that.
        I do not think watchmen is anywhere near as ground breaking as Millers daredevil or Millers Dark Knight.

        Both of those changed an industry.

        In fact when i first read WM i did not think highly of it. but upon a second reading i could see how well the story meshed and the overall vision that went into it.

        I think it gets slurped far too hard by geeks and non geeks who only know about it because some influential geeks lined up behind it.

        For a pure visceral response i still put TDKR and KC above it, but I must admit Moore did an outstanding job.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s got shagging and whatnot in it (and rape) so therefore is all adult and serious.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        Very valid point jarv,
        for the younger geeks at the time WM came out who never ventured out of their superhero comfort, it must have seemed groundbreaking.

        but if they had been paying attention to other works like the sublime Cerebus (which in my mind is the greatest comic book series of all time – warts and all because when it was in top form it was true genius, and when it sucked it was so dreadful that it was almost painful to read – it mirrored the artist/writers life and his mental and emotional struggles), then they would have known that such conventions had already been blown apart, hell even mainstream works such as daredevil did that far earlier.
        Yes, it gets slurped far too hard, but that genie is out of the bottle.

        Still, it is in my top three because I do appreciate Moore’s vision on it.

      • Jarv says :

        Typical geek failing, this. Totally overrating something because it pretends to push boundaries.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        Just heard from a buddy of mine who just saw Spiderman.
        He thought is was awesome, ‘best marvel superhero movie ever’.
        He is not yet sure where he ranks it all time, he needs to see it again, but he said it is a lot more fun than any superhero movie he has seen.

        I trust this dude, but word of caution, he is a spiderman freak who was greatly disappointed in the raimi movies.

        Still, I am looking forward to seeing it

      • Continentalop says :

        I pretty much think all Graphic novels are overrated. Watchmen, TDKR, KC all have moments, but the stories are so full of deep thoughts adult subject matter it just feels like they are trying to bring attention to how important they are.

        Miller’s run on DD for me works better than his TDKR. It has just as much complex issues and philosophical points, but they are not shoved in the forefront. The entire idea of redemption, lose, the nature of evil, etc is all there, and done in such a more subtle way.

        Same with Moore’s Miracleman vs the Watchmen, which I thought did the danger and realities of what if super-heroes really existed better. Hell, a lot of the stuff that the Watchmen was touching I thought Byrne/Claremont tackled in the X-Men, Willingham did in the Elementals, Starlin with Dreadstar, and pretty much the paranoid films of the 70s had already covered and done better. Hell, even the New Universe beat him to the bunch on some stuff (but not as well, I admit).

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        Conti, i could not agree more.
        I really like WM as evidenced by my top three ranking, but it is over rated and i think it is because the geeks that fawned over it had no sense of history, and then they grew up to have an influential say over shaping the perceptions of weak minded individuals and non geeks who only go by what they hear from those they beleive are expert in such matters.

        DD was tremendous, Miller outdid himself. He was given full control. And it still blows me away that someone that young was entrusted with so much – even though DD was bi monthly it still was being published and it was not like they could just throw money away back then.

        The very first time i ever considered the ‘private life’ of a superhero – that is to say when I considered what it would be like if superheroes really existed and what kind of life it must be, will come as a surprise to you.

        Not the FF stories of family, or Spiderman and his hangups, orThe Avengers and their squabbles, but it was the ‘lowly’ Defenders.

        It was just a scene that I vaguely recall with Valkyrie and Namor, and it was something about finding love with your peers because no one else could understand you.

        I think the gist -or at least what got through to me was that, for all their power and the glory they had, they lived a very insulated and insular life but still had the same needs and drives but could only find it amongst a limited set of people.

        It sort of echoed the big time hollywood celebrity lifestyle, but seemed sadder.

        I really must find that story

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        The internet is awesome. I just looked it up, it may be Defenders 116, but i can not find a synopsis

      • Jarv says :

        Not just a means to slag people off anonymously?

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        Oh, that too!
        I was going to post Redgrave’s comment from Time bandits – but its just gibberish. Redgrave is the dude who hits people when Robin Hood gives out stuff and who loves to hit people and who looks like he loves to hit people

        Robin Hood: Here we are, madam. Congratulations. Well done. Congratulations.
        [Redgrave belts the lady]
        Robin Hood: Is that absolutely necessary?
        Redgrave: [Gibberish]
        Robin Hood: What did he say?
        Marion: He said yes, he’s afraid it is.
        Robin Hood: Ah, fine.


        Evil: What sort of Supreme Being created such riffraff? Is this not the workings of a complete incompetent?
        Baxi Brazilia III: But He created you, Evil One.
        Evil: What did you say?
        Baxi Brazilia III: Well He created you, so He can’t be entirely…
        Evil: [Blows Baxi to bits] Never talk to me like that again! No one created me! I am Evil. Evil existed long before good. I made myself. I cannot be unmade. *I* am all powerful!

      • Continentalop says :

        Ha! The Defenders. I don’t remember that scene specifically, but I remember them always having moments that kind of popped the bubble on the entire idea of super-heroics and the absurdity/reality of it all, plus when Gerber was around he loved to throw in completely surreal shit (like Elf With a Gun).

        One of my favorite story arcs, which was a subplot, was Kyle Richmond, Nighthawk, dealing with the consequences of his crippling a girl in a drunk car accident (his version of Chappaquiddick). Unlike other comics at the time, the Defenders seemed to hint that there was something inherently dysfunctional/damaged about super-heroes and their team members.

        I also think Steve Gerber’s run and DeMatteis were also damn good, and while a little more simplistic in tone and style were actually just as deep as most of Moore’s and Morrison’s stuff.

  39. Droid says :

    Anyhoo, probably go and see Cosmopolis tonight. Nothing else out to see until Friday.

  40. Droid says :

    You yanks sure do love “that darn cat christina ricci”.

    • Jarv says :

      IT’s insane- 1200 hits from Yahoo on one crappy picture in 2 days.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        What are you referring to?

      • Jarv says :

        Overrating things based on them being controversial- EG in Watchmen, the rape of Silk Spectre 1 will have had them all aquiver.

        Whereas in reality, it’s, well, just sordid for the sake of it.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        I meant the Christina Ricci comment

      • Jarv says :

        In the last two days, out of the blue, There’s a generic photo of Christina Ricci in TDC in Pillows Review that has picked up 1200 hits.

        We’ve not done anything, and it’s not a great picture, and we don’t know where the interest appeared from.

      • Toadkillerdog says :


        don’t look a gift hit in the mouth

      • Jarv says :

        Just weird. Back when we started we used to get thousands for Emma Stone Zombieland.

        These are the highest of all time:

        clouds 7,592
        adrienne barbeau 3,942
        emma stone zombieland 2,868
        hollywood sign 2,865
        lauren socha 2,756
        battle royale 1,840
        antonia thomas 1,666
        daybreakers 1,585
        christina ricci black snake moan 1,464
        cherie currie 1,326

        There are derivations on a lot of them, but a lot of people seem to love Christina Ricci. Admittedly the BSM one is to juggs.

  41. Continentalop says :

    Someone should shoot a Defenders movie Toad, just so they can have Elf With a Gun in it.

  42. koutchboom says :

    Man that Alex Cross is looking good. Pretty much exactly what I was hoping from that movie. There hasn’t been a good cop thriller in a while.

  43. Jarv says :

    White Collar Hooligan is OK.

    Nothing you haven’t seen before, the Manchester stuff is a bit laughable. Predictable, but it’s a good time passer.

    It’s kind of a hybrid- mostly a gangster film, really.

  44. Continentalop says :

    Nora Ephron is no longer Sleepless in Seattle. Dead at 71.

    • Droid says :

      When Nora Met Death…

      I liked Ephron’s movies, for the most part. Loved When Harry Met Sally and My Blue Heaven. Silkwood is good too. Otherwise, it’s fairly innocuous, but the only one I strongly dislike is Bewitched.

      • Jarv says :

        Ephron- although I do feel slightly bad doing this- made far more that I seriously dislike than liked.

        Aside from WHMS and MBH, most of them make me clench my teeth to try to endure them, particularly Michael, You’ve got Mail and Bewitched.

      • Droid says :

        You cold hearted bastard.

      • Jarv says :

        I did say I feel slightly bad about it.

        Can you honestly think of anything good about Michael?

      • Droid says :

        I can’t really remember it. I saw it at the cinema on the same day I saw Scream.

      • Jarv says :

        I haven’t seen it since then either. I wasn’t as aware then as I am now. If the choice came up now, I wouldn’t watch it. However, I was under this delusion (based on Pulp Fiction, Broken Arrow and a few others) that I liked Travolta at the time.

        To be fair to YGM- I expected to hate it, and only endured it on the promise of some action.

        Bewitched pissed me off, because I liked the series

      • Droid says :

        I liked Bewitched too. That and I Dream of Jeannie were on all the time growing up. I hated that movie. But have thankfully forgotten it.

      • Jarv says :

        I think what pushes me over for things like Sleepless and YGM is my overwhelming hatred for Hanks.

        Which I don’t know where it came from, and can’t really defend.

      • Droid says :

        I mostly like Hanks, so that’s probably the key factor.

      • Jarv says :

        That’ll be it.

        The thing is, I quite liked early Tom Hanks- The Burbs, Big, etc.

        However when he did Philadelphia he entered into a hateful world of suck that he’s never come out of. Now if I see his name, it makes me wince.

        It’s worth noting, that I hadn’t seen either of Sleepless or YGM before I saw the double punch of awfulness that is Philadelphia and Forrest Gump.

      • Jarv says :

        I dream of Jeannie FTW!

        Lord knows what they were playing at with Bewitched.

      • Jarv says :

        Let’s be fair:

        Julia and Julia; Not seen
        Bewitched: Hate
        Lucky Numbers: Not seen
        You’ve got Mail: Hate
        Michael: hate
        Mixed Nuts: Not seen
        Sleepless in Seattle: hate
        This is my life: Not seen.

        I think she may have been a better writer than director, because WHMS and MBH are miles better than that lot.

      • Droid says :

        Julia and Julia: Not seen
        Bewitched: Hate
        Lucky Numbers: Meh
        You’ve got Mail: Meh
        Michael: Meh
        Mixed Nuts: Not seen
        Sleepless in Seattle: Meh
        This is my life: Not seen

        Really, I don’t care enough to get worked up into “hate” territory with nearly all of her stuff. I know going in what to expect, and it is exactly that. A fairly brisk diversion.

      • Droid says :

        Anyhoo, she gave me WHMS, which is awesome, so she’s alright in my book.

      • Jarv says :

        Yeah- pass for WHMS, and MBV.

        Same as Rob Reiner. No matter how much poop he shovels out nowadays he’s still got the run from 84 to 90 which has Spinal Tap (4), Stand By Me (4), The Princess Bride (4), WHMS (4), and Misery (at least 3).

      • Jarv says :

        Even a few good men isn’t too bad.

        Since then though:

        North (Orangutan), American President (1), The Story of Us (Orangutan), The Bucket List (1) and I won’t watch any more that he’s done.

      • Droid says :

        Spinal Tap (4), Stand By Me (4), The Princess Bride (3.5), WHMS (4), and Misery (3.5).

        I’d add The Sure Thing (3) and A Few Good Men (3).

        It’s an astonishing run.

      • Jarv says :

        Not seen The Sure Thing for some reason. Princess Bride is one of my favourite all time movies.

      • Droid says :

        I love Princess Bride, but I never saw it growing up. So I don’t have nostalgia associated to it. Otherwise I think would get it the maximum.

        The Sure Thing is a fun romcom road trip movie with Cusack and Daphne Zuniga.

      • Jarv says :


        “To the pain”

        “Never play with a Sicilian when death is on the table”


      • Droid says :

        A good recent Reiner is Flipped. I’m not sure that you’d like it, but it’s a sweet, nice, friendly little film.

      • Droid says :

        With movies like Michael and YGM, you know clearly what you’re getting into before you watch them. There’s no “oh this is so shit and I expected it to be good” moment. They’re innocuous. Not very good, but they are what they are. The mistake you made is watching something you know you’re going to strongly dislike.

      • Continentalop says :

        Overall I was not a fan of her work, save for Silkwood, but I vastly preferred her honest sweatness and up front romanticism to stuff like 500 Days of Summer, which really is a Nora Ephron romance movie trying to hide the fact because it thinks it is hipper than that and would look down at anyone who dared compared it to her work.

      • Jarv says :

        I hated 500 Days. Awful fucking movie. Totally agree about it being Hipster Efron.

      • Droid says :

        I didn’t hate 500 Days. It was meh, and suffered from one of the two main characters being entirely hateful, but the scene where he’s coming home and he’s so deliriously happy he breaks into song and dance is bang on. That scene gets the film mileage from me.

      • Jarv says :

        Which one? Him or her? Because I’d go with both.

        My suspicions were roused by that film very early on when the voiceover said something about him spending too much time in his room listening to British music, and the band of choice was the fucking Smiths.

        Knew exactly what was going to happen immediately after that line.

      • Droid says :

        I was going with her.

      • Jarv says :

        That’s fair enough. She is truly fucking awful. Which is death for a Rom Com

        Despite myself, I was rooting for them to stay together, because I thought he was such a cunt as well. And the ending sucked ass.

      • Continentalop says :

        I wish I could say I thought of that, but my brother came up with that.

        He also came up with “Woody Allen’s Midnight in Paris is Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure for literary snobs.”

      • Jarv says :

        I’ve no desire to watch that at all. I did sit through Vicky Christina Barcelona with mounting hatred at the voiceover.

        The only way I made it, was that I was certain Cruz was going to get naked.

      • Droid says :

        I’m one of the few people around here that wasn’t a fan of Midnight in Paris. It was okay, but really, Bullets over Broadway or The Purple Rose of Cairo it ain’t.

      • Jarv says :

        Think I’ll pass then. Got a bit of an Aversion to post-90’s Woody Allen.

      • Continentalop says :

        Midnight in Paris is a real good movie, especially if you’re a fan of the Lost Generation, but it is hardly a deep movie, and I scoff at all these people who try to present it as being truly profound and thought provoking. Please.

      • Continentalop says :

        Match Point is the last Woody Allen movie that blew me away, probably because he didn’t make a comedy and he wasn’t in it or have anyone who represented him.

      • Droid says :

        Haven’t seen that. The missus has it on dvd, so I might check it out.

      • Jarv says :

        Which one? VCB or Match Point?

        I warn you about the narration. The dude that does it has the same whiny self-indulgent sounding voice and intonation as Allen.

      • Droid says :

        Match Point. I’ve seen VCB.

      • Jarv says :

        Vicky Cristina Barcelona, actually, isn’t bad. It would be really good if it didn’t have the voiceover, that I actually thought was him until the missus told me it wasn’t. Cruz is good and superhot in it, which goes a long way.

      • Droid says :

        VCB was really meh. I struggled to get through it. Only the presence of lovely looking women got me to the end.

      • Jarv says :

        Cruz is good, Johannsen is OK, Whatserface in the lead is OK.

        It’s an OK film.

  45. Jarv says :

    So, as mentioned, Hooligan is OK. Thought a bit more about it, and it’s totally meh. Nowhere near the standards of Kill List, Down Terrace, London to Brighton, Tyrannosaur etc.

    Not bad, but a ponderous last act slows it down far too much.

  46. Continentalop says :

    Been reading Conversations with Martin Scorsese. The chapter on Gangs of New York is very interesting. Some tidbits:

    Scorsese himself was not happy how it turned out.

    It was the second hardest/worst production he was ever on, behind The Last Temptation of Christ.

    The film ran out of money, so a lot of the stuff he had planned had to be shelved or changed (hence why the Riots at the end seem so lame compared to the first fight).

    He had to put his own money into to it to finish it.

    He had to change things to make it more “commercial” to get it financed (he didn’t say anything, but I imagine that included casting Leo, Cameron and adding the love story).

    He thinks now it would have been better as an HBO series like the Sopranos or Rome, and if he made it today would shoot it as a series.

    • Jarv says :

      I think that’s a truly dreadful film, and I’m not surprised he’s not happy with it. It’s only Day Lewis that saves it from being a platinum stinker.

      The end with the riots intercut with the rich people at dinner is staggeringly awful.

      • Continentalop says :

        Well, according to the book that isn’t what he planned, but he was forced to change things because they were running out of money. The Draft Riots were supposed to be bigger and much more vicious, and you were supposed to see things like the orphanage burn down and kids getting killed.

        He doesn’t blame anyone – other than himself at times – just points out, we ran out of money and that he probably should of changed the script to fit the budget better.

      • Jarv says :

        That script should never have gone into production. It’s frigging awful, and I know he had to compromise, but so much of it is abject garbage.

        It feels like it’s about 9 hours long as well. Why has he even got the fat rich people having dinner in it? Who gives a fuck about them?

        Was he clean when he made it, because that reeks of a drugs decision.

      • Continentalop says :

        Nope. He was clean.

        I honestly see this film as being like Superman IV. Scorsese went in with expectations and promises, kind of like Christopher Reeves and the director did for Supes IV, and the next thing they know is that the budget is being cut and the script has to be rewritten on set. Not saying he would have made a masterpiece, but like the Quest for Peace it could of and should of been a lot better movie than what they turned out.

        Thank god DDL wasn’t replaced by Nuclear Man.

      • Jarv says :

        I still maintain that was doomed from Script level. It’s bloated, to put it mildly, with garbage that detracts from the narrative thrust.

        Even if he’d had full budget etc. It would still have been hugely bloated.

      • Continentalop says :

        True, but that neccessarily wasn’t the script Scorsese wanted before they greenlit it. After the Weinstien’s agreed to make the picture, they brought in Steve Zallian and Kenneth Lonergan to do rewrites & make the movie more “commercial.” I mean the 3 year production is legendary for the conflict between Martin & Harvey over the content of the film.

      • Jarv says :

        This always happens when you try to make things more “commercial”.

        Fiasco, frankly.

      • Continentalop says :

        I think GONY is an example when two principle people, the director & the producer, both have vastly different visions for the picture.

        You end up with a deformed hybrid.

      • Jarv says :

        I’m not even sure it should have been a miniseries. The story is a fairly simple revenge thing against an “epic” backdrop. There’s not a lot there and the amount of filler would be positively Game of Thrones like

      • Continentalop says :

        Yeah but Scorsese had to cut a lot out to come up with a plot for a movie (and a movie that the Wienstien’s would get financing for). If you ever read GONY there is plenty he material there for multiple storylines.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        Hola Conti,
        I never saw GONYso can not comment on that, but I do have a comment about Supes IV.

        Did Reeves truly think he would be making some kind of statement movie – i assume anti -nuclear (but I could be wrong i have not seen it since it was released)?

        At the time it was released, I felt it was purely a money grab. I mean he returned to the character years later and much much smaller – like he could not be bothered to try and get into shape for it, just wanted to cash a check. And If that was the case, I do not fault him, because actors gotta eat, but if you are implying that he actually had an agenda, well i just did not see it on the screen, and not just because of a bad script.

      • Continentalop says :

        Hey Toad,

        From what I have heard & read –

        Reeves did do it for the money, but he was allowed to select the script, have story input (which they ignored), promised him he could direct Superman 5 and he got them to agree to finance a project of his choice (in this case Street Smart).

        But right before production the budget (which was only like $36 million compared to 1979’s Superman 1’s 50 or so million) was cut in half, and even during production the budget kept getting cut (final budget was like $16-17 million). Hence why scenes where Superman walks down 42nd St. in NY to the UN building where he addresses 1,000s of extras was cut for him talking to about a score of extras in a park outside of London. Budget and copyright issues also prevented them from having the original villain, Reeve’s as Bizarro, and instead replace him with the lame Nuclear Man.

        Even if Supes IV never could have been a masterpiece it should have been way better.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        I only recall Reeves looking wan and small and totally disinterested. I think his hair was different too, i mean it was lighter like his natural as opposed to the darker superman hair, but i could be wrong, beena long time.

        I just do not think he had the desire to do another Supes movie regardless the script approval or budget.

      • Continentalop says :

        I don’t think he would be that enthused no matter what, but I do think he went in caring even less because he realized what type of shoot Golan & Globus planned before they even started shooting.

  47. Droid says :

    One for Jarv.

    ‘Cabin Fever’ Prequel to Be Directed By Comic Book Artist

    ‘Cabin Fever’ Franchise Being Resurrected With Two Prequels.

    Sean Astin isn’t afraid of the woods. The Lord of the Rings star will topline a Cabin Fever reboot.

    Cabin Fever: Patient Zero will begin shooting Aug. 13 in the Dominican Republic with a cast that also includes Brando Eaton (Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel) and Ben Hollingsworth (Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules). Comic book artist Kaare Andrews is directing from a screenplay penned by Jake Wade Wall (The Hitcher, When a Stranger Calls).

    The story kicks off when a bachelor party cruise in the Caribbean unexpectedly runs ashore on a medical-research island and a deadly virus is unleashed. The passengers must struggle to find a way to survive before their own demons and the flesh-eating bacteria consumes them all.

    That is just a perfect storm of awesome!

    • Jarv says :

      What the hell? Who wanted that? Ti West tried to get his name taken off the sequel, after all.

    • Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

      Jesus, could anything more say how much Sean Astin needs a good job. Surely he;s not been reduced to shit like this to feed his family?

      Based on director, supporting cast, and writer; this is the usual calibre of films I started out on.

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