Burt Gummer’s Rec Room- July 2012 Archive

A gathering place for firearms enthusiasts, paranoid survivalists and those who worship at the Church of Chang 

July in Perfection. Clear blue skies and big fucking worms. What more could we want?

Disclaimer: This is the part of the Church that is the most no holds barred. None of it is intended with malice, and although it can on occasion seem a little bit fraught, it is banter rather than venom. So, be warned that this is like taking a naked swim in a piranha tank and not recommended for the faint of heart.

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1,690 responses to “Burt Gummer’s Rec Room- July 2012 Archive”

  1. Droid says :

    Frozen Ground, the based-on-a-true-story thriller starring John Cusack, Nicolas Cage and Vanessa Hudgens. The movie written and directed by Scott Walker revolves around Alaska’s most notorious serial predator Robert Hansen (Cusack), who in the span of 12 years abducted more than 24 women, flew them into the Alaskan wilderness, and hunted and murdered them. Hudgens plays the one teenage victim who escaped, and Cage plays the Alaskan State Trooper who finds her on the street — together they work to bring Hansen to justice.

    This could be really good. First time director (a kiwi), so no idea if he’s any good or not. But it’s got The Hairpiece and Cusack in it, so I’m there.

  2. tombando says :

    Wow Harold really did hate this thing didn’t he?? Did Nolan not give him enough free battarangs or Bane Masks? I don’t love either BB or BToo, but they’re good for what they are. This will be more of the same seems like. Harold you need to change your Robin underoos once in a while.

  3. Echo the Bunnyman says :

    okay I promise Im not going over there anymore…but AICN has some d-bag named John Ary, and he’s put up this hideous video (looks and sounds like a gollum or something) of him more or less spoiling the movie, and then promises to be back the next day with ’10 Reasons to Hate the Dark Knight Rises’. Why? For a movie that technically doesnt open til tomorrow?

    Do they really think they will make some kind of difference?

    • tombando says :

      Usually Harold is all a spoogeymatic over stuff like Bats, so am rather shocked w/ his reaction. It’s not like it’s a Harry Hit Job(TM) where Roth, Cokey or Rodriguez have something opening up against it. Weird. Not a Huge fan of the Nolan series to be honest but I do like them for what they are, so go figger.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        right, there’s something else here….I honestly wonder if Nolan didnt snub or insult AICN in some capacity.

        He probably realizes he doesnt need–or want–their help to sell his movies.

        Harry refuses to review Inception and it ends up a big hit for an original concept.

        Harry and his lackeys flog the stuffings out of themselves over Scott Pilgrim every chance they get and it tanks horribly.

        Im guessing its something that just served to drive home that point that AICN doesnt have the clout they seem to think they have.

      • ThereWolf says :

        Do they still run a Twitch column over there?

        Oh and the day I take notice of (or even read, for that matter) a Harold review will be the day I scoop my own eyeballs out with a spoon.

  4. Continentalop says :

    Hey gents. Just going to post a link to part 2 to the insane Batman martial arts article me and my brother wrote.

    http://www.bloodyelbow.com/2012/7/19/3164241/holy-mma-batman-martial-arts-dark-knight-part2?login=1342727763

    Reading it is not mandatory. Watching Vice Squad is.

    • Echo the Bunnyman says :

      Ahhh….a perfect example here. Harrys’ bat review=how to use your extreme nerdiness for evil. Conti and bros article on Batman martial arts=how to use your extreme nerdiness for good.

      Conti,correct me if Im wrong but you are no real lover of Nolan’s bats either are you? But instead of whinging because it’s not what you want to see, you went out and wrote something that delves into the comic character and reveals a interesting facet.Loved this two part series, and the people geeking out in the comments. Great stuff man, you and your bro.

      BTW, did you get my email?

      • kloipy says :

        Jonah, I’ll have some new stuff up at PCN soon. Been a hectic week here

      • Continentalop says :

        Thanks Bart. I don’t hate Nolan’s Bat movies – if I step back and look at them analytically I’ll have to say BB is competently made while TDK is very good – but as a Batman fan familiar with the source material, there far from how I see the character. Unfair yes, but it’s like expecting Xi to judge a movie about the USMC without being clouded by his own knowledge & experiences.

        And Yeah Bart, just saw the message. I’ll email you later tonight.

    • ThereWolf says :

      Outstanding.

      I keep reading ‘rear naked choke’ as a ‘naked rear choke’ and as such, I’m having a tough time picturing it… That’s some superpower, innit, being able to choke someone with yer bum cheeks.

      • Continentalop says :

        I believe they had a scene with that in Batman & Robin but Schumacher had to cut it out.

    • kloipy says :

      Conti, can I share this on my FB page?

    • Droid says :

      Bah. It’s blocked by work. “Block Category : Sports/Recreation” Never seen that category before. Strange because I’ve never had a problem going to sports pages before.

      I’ll have a look at home.

  5. tombando says :

    Yeah Conti Pops site there was pretty good.

    • Continentalop says :

      Thanks Tom. We originally had a link to a scene from Blood on the Sun where Cagney uses Judo but we had to cut it.

      • tombando says :

        Cagney makes Everything better. Sinatra did some judo vs Silva in Manchurian Candidate. Fred Willard does some too i hear-

  6. Droid says :

    I watched TDK last night. Holier than swiss cheese, but I do enjoy it. We’ve discussed it ad nauseum, so I won’t repeat the problems in too much detail, but I’ll just say, once Rachel dies it grinds to a halt and the rest of the film gets by because of Ledger. Two Face is really wasted. Anyhoo, it’s decent. I’d still give it a rock solid 2.5 changs. Maybe sneak to 3 if I was being very generous and made myself forget the last section of the film.

    The missus watched it too. That was surprising enough (she usually avoids most movies I watch), but the big surprise was that overall she liked it. Apart from the very end, which she didn’t like. The whole Oldman speech to his son. The “He’s the hero Gotham deserves, but not the hero Gotham needs” stuff. I paraphrase, but she felt it layed it on far too thick, spelling everything out for the dimwits in the audience who may not comprehend what’s going on.

    Anyway, good film. Silly batvoice. Wasted Two Face (I also hate, hate, hate Dent’s introduction). Stunning performance by Ledger. Not as good as BB. Room for improvement. Hopefully I’ll be more satisfied with TDKR.

    • Droid says :

      And from a very limited comparison to the funnybooks, I prefer both Nolan’s and Burtons Batmans to the one’s on TDKReturns or The Killing Joke. For what it’s worth. Which isn’t a lot.

    • Jarv says :

      Watched BB- still slightly prefer TDK, but in all honesty I like both of them.

      Love Murphy in it, don’t like Wilkinson for some reason. Not sure why.

      Hate hate hate Katie Holmes, and I really detest the character. She’s my biggest problem with both films.

      • Droid says :

        I kind see why you might not like Wilkinson. He’s… a little OTT or something. Hard to put your finger on. I don’t give it a second thought really, but it’s not the greatest performance. And I like Wilkinson as a general rule.

        I don’t mind Holmes (apart from her pronunciation of “occasion”… Quite the OH-ccasion. Just annoys me.). She’s a lot better than Gyllanhaal, who is very weak in TDK, particularly in her early scenes with Eckhart.

        I love BB, and like TDK. But it’s really stunning how much TDK is boistered by Ledger. Every single time he appears on screen the film just immediately lifts.

        Anyway, looking forward to TDKR after work.

      • Jarv says :

        I think it’s the accent- he’s not an accent man, really, and it’s grating.

        I don’t like the character, frankly.

      • Droid says :

        Maybe. His accent was good in In the Bedroom. Course it wasn’t a “wiseguy” accent. He is an incredibly unlikeable character, and some things are right on the money. Like when he’s talking shit to Wayne about his father crying. He’s glancing around at his goons to bask in their approval. That feels right.

      • Jarv says :

        That scene’s really well handled. It’s the bit with Crane later on where his accent slips all over the place.

        Dunno really. It’s not film sinking, though.

        Oh, and the action in Begins, particularly the fight at the docks, isn’t great. There’s nothing in it to match the truck chase in TDK.

        In all honesty, because I like both, I reckon they’ve both got their strengths and weaknesses.

      • Jarv says :

        Bollocks. Cook’s out.

        Cometh the hour, Cometh the (Sher)man.

        Pah.

      • Jarv says :

        This is now intensely worrying. Prior and the tail are usually good for 50-100 runs depending, but Bell and Bopara are flaky and I don’t want to rely on Bresnan, Broad, Swann and Prior with the low cloud against Steyn.

        Pah pah pah.

      • Jarv says :

        And no sooner did I type that than Bopara goes.

      • Jarv says :

        I blame Australia for Bopara being in the side. If they hadn’t been so bloody two bob in the one-dayers, he’d never have conned anyone into thinking he had some form, and therefore wouldn’t have been selected.

        Got to look at one from Taylor, Root, Hildeth, Compton, Lyth, or even Bairstow again (Bairstow, though, is Prior’s replacement in the long term). Cannot bloody rely on the Cook+ the tail in every match.

      • Droid says :

        Hopefully we’ll play some one dayers before the next ashes series then. I’d love Bopara to be in your test side.

      • Jarv says :

        I’m genuinely worried that this was some sort of cunning Aussie plan to trick us into selecting shite in the Test team.

        I’ve got this horrible vision of the Aussie side turning up and playing the one dayers with Bailey, Smith, Doherty and Mitch in the side then suddenly turning out a test team featuring none of them.

      • Droid says :

        The ol’ bait and switch. I wouldn’t put it past us.

      • Jarv says :

        You have to grasp that straw, because the alternative is that they’re the best you have. And I’d be terrified of that.

        Trust me, I watched England in the 90’s, and we were full of bits and bobs players like Smith that were basically “OK” (being generous) at everything, but in reality were just a little bit/ a lot shit.

      • Jarv says :

        English Smith equivalents?

        Ealham, Austin, Irani leaping to mind.

        Bobbins, the lot of them. I’d include Jimmy Ormond as well in that.

      • Droid says :

        English who equivalents?

      • Jarv says :

        Hehehehehe.

        As mentioned before, it’s very nice of Australia to only play 10 players.

        I’m starting to think Bopara is getting to that level as well in the Test side.

      • Jarv says :

        Brilliant:

        looking about as comfortable as a plump chicken stuck in a lift with Fantastic Mr Fox

        I’m having that.

      • Jarv says :

        Inevitable Sherman failure when the pressure’s on.

        Fuck.

      • Jarv says :

        Right.

        Come on Bressie Lad.

      • Droid says :

        Need a very waggy tail here. Really should be getting 400 minimum after that start.

      • Jarv says :

        I still think that given the Weather forecast, they should have bowled first.

        Broad, Bresnan and Swann are usually good for between 50-100 runs. So Prior needs a score. It’s up to the others to stay with him.

      • Jarv says :

        I’d be tempted to pull a Clarke and declare here- get Jimmy and Broad on bowling in this murky shite at the Saffas.

      • Jarv says :

        Fucking hate Kallis.

        Fucking cunt.

      • Jarv says :

        Tempting fate here- but Bressie Lad is batting very sensibly.

      • Droid says :

        Sensibly, maybe. Mind numbingly slowly, definitely.

      • Jarv says :

        He saw off the difficult period, then just smashed Kallis through the covers, before getting out like a twat.

        Bear in mind, his job was to stick with Prior.

      • Jarv says :

        If the Saffas are sensible, then the bring Steyn back on for these last few overs before lunch. If they get Broad then it’s all out for 330.

        Which is a pretty terrible performance from England, but the conditions are prime for typically English swing bowling, so I’m not overly gutted.

      • Jarv says :

        Feck it. Have a splosh.

        Go down guns blazing. Trying to milk one an over is never going to work.

      • Jarv says :

        Attaboy Stuey.

      • Jarv says :

        Right. 50 quick runs after lunch, then better part of two sessions to bowl at SA.

      • Jarv says :

        Just pissed it down…

        Damn it. Low cloud, rain, swinging atmosphere- I almost want Strauss to declare.

      • Jarv says :

        This is so tight. Just read commentary that reckons par is about 350-400. I think that’s very low given the start, but hey-ho. We’ve got a game here.

      • Jarv says :

        England scoring at 7 an over since lunch. Clearly not going to die wondering.

      • Jarv says :

        Broad out next over, by the way.

      • Jarv says :

        Called it.

        Good fucking ball.

        Was also right about the tail- Bresnan and Broad helped Prior put on 75 runs.

      • Jarv says :

        Prior you git- that was a flagrant piece of average protection then- single on the first ball!

        Deserves to get out now for that.

      • Jarv says :

        He’s fucking done it again. Jesus. What’s wrong with him?

      • Jarv says :

        Hee hee.

        I love Swann’s batting. He’s useless, but just whacks it anywhere.

        England’s tail must be so annoying. They’ve scored at just shy of 6 an over since lunch.

      • Jarv says :

        Ach, bollocks.

        Maybe Swann was protecting Prior.

        101 added by the tail.

      • Droid says :

        Don’t want to be a spoilsport, but with that start, 100 added by the tail should really take your score up to around the 500 mark, not 400. Some poor middle order batting. And Strauss is, well… Strauss.

      • Jarv says :

        In comparison to the tail, the middle order was a disaster. It’s my big complaint about England that they basically rely on Cook scoring big and the tail.

        Bell will come off every now and again, but far too many times 8,9,10 provide 100+ runs. Which is the case, again, today.

      • Jarv says :

        Booooom!

        Bowled Jimmy.

      • Jarv says :

        STOP BOWLING ON SMITH’S BLOODY PADS.

        Heaven’s sake. Outside off stump.

      • Jarv says :

        Shit shit shit.

        Nice one, bigmouth.

      • Droid says :

        What’s Bopara doing in the team? I thought he was banished to the one day side.

        I thought Pietersen was still in. Obviously not.

      • Jarv says :

        Pietersen got himself out yesterday evening.

        I have no idea what Bopara’s doing in the test side. It’s inexplicable.

        Number 6 is turning into a real problem position for us. I’d be tempted to bump Prior up the order and play Finn.

      • Droid says :

        Must’ve missed that.

      • Jarv says :

        The Sonar thing?

        I read it as a theory the other day. If it’s true it’s a bad idea.

      • Droid says :

        No, Pietersen getting himself out. Last I saw he and Cook were still in.

        As for the sonar thing… terrible idea.

      • Jarv says :

        Silly twat tried to hook Kallis and gloved it through to the keeper. The ball wasn’t there to be hooked.

        It was really annoying, actually, because he’d started to move through the gears and was looking good. Total, typical, KP lapse of concentration.

      • Droid says :

        The truck chase is arguably the action highlight of both films, definitely. But I actually prefer the Hong Kong sequence, as my highlight. Something about the shots of the plane flying in and Bats zipping out the window with Lau is just epic to me. The worst action sequence in either film is the sonar. It’s visually irritating and confusing. Not to mention it doesn’t make sense.

      • Jarv says :

        Christ.

        Someone’s taking it all far too seriously.

      • Jarv says :

        I hate the Sonar thing. I fully believe it was intended as a dig at the US attitude to surveillance, but it’s just visually horrible, and confusing as hell.

        I also really dislike the fight in the docks in BB.

        Fucking love that truck chase in TDK- with the Joker getting bigger and bigger guns.

  7. Droid says :

    I’m bored.

  8. Jarv says :

    Congrats on the video Donor.

  9. Droid says :

    How the hell are Sydney and Adelaide on top of the AFL ladder? Crazy.

    *he asks himself because no one else knows what the hell I’m talking about

    • Jarv says :

      I thought it was always Collinwood up there?

      • Droid says :

        Collingwood are 3rd. Hawthorn (my team) are 4th.

        Collingwood aren’t always up there. They have been in the past 5 years. But that’s the great thing about Aussie rules. It changes. There are peaks and troughs. My team was pretty much the best for 7-8 years from the mid-80’s, then all those players got old and retired, and they went to total shit for a decade. They rebuilt their team and have now been up there for the past 3-4 years. It’s not like the Premier League where 4-5 teams are virtually guaranteed to finish at the top because they are the rich clubs and can buy the best players. The AFL you have to draft and develop players, as well as trading with other clubs, to build a good side. That’s why the dominant team changes every few years.

      • Jarv says :

        Is there a salary cap?

        To be fair, though, it’s not just the EPL, it’s every fucking Football league in the world- Spain where Real and Barca take 75% of the TV revenue, and then they wonder why there’s no competition being a prime example.

      • Droid says :

        Yes, there’s a salary cap.

        I was using the EPL as an obvious example. But yes, Spain is just as bad.

      • Jarv says :

        Scotland’s the worst. There’s only 1 team that can win it next year. What a fucking joke.

  10. tombando says :

    Was Harold in Denver last night? Holy crap.

    • Jarv says :

      Nice review. Seeing it tomorrow.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        You will probably like it. I suspect that Dark Knight will still remain your favorite of the three.

        Good movie though, and nice to be able to wash away the image of bloated inflata-Bane from Batman and Robin with Hardy’s take. I will say, his voice is mostly very audible, but I wasn’t expecting it to sound like it does.

        Closest comparison I can get is that Seth McFarlane character from Hellboy 2. I don’t remember his name, Klause or something like that…

      • Jarv says :

        The German one? Dr Smokey?

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        yes… ‘he ‘Cuumrod Hellzboy! Vee will doo dizzz!’ one.

        I’ve looked it up…Johann Strauss. Bane sounds like a less over-the-top version of that. Another critic described it as darth vader mixed with sean connery.

      • Jarv says :

        “Johann Strauss”

        Yikes. That’s horrible. I’d forgotten that.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        I dont think it’s well liked here, but I loved Hellboy 2…minus that character. McFarlane really doesnt deserve his popularity.

      • Jarv says :

        It was OK. Liked bits of it. Did not like Dr. Smokey.

      • Droid says :

        Hellboy 2 is okay. It works better in set pieces than it does as a whole movie. For me anyway. I liked the first one more.

      • Jarv says :

        Agree with that. When I think of it, I think of individual bits like the Troll market.

      • Droid says :

        The troll market is terrific. The highlight of the film.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        I preferred the sequel honestly, mostly because I thought there was more imagination on display in the second. Both are good.

        I will say this; it’s very odd that the plot of HB2 more or less mirrors the same plot of Blade 2, down to the revolutionary monster son with the empathetic sister and disdainful father being played by Luke Goss.

      • Jarv says :

        That’s honestly never even occurred to me before, but now you mention it, it’s so obvious.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        yea, its even down to the little things in some cases. Like the fact the princess falls in love with a character who has never really had time for romance before, and has an almost innocent pure love for her. in both, she dies as a result of the brother’s agenda/hate pushing him on, and they die together, with the love interest holding them as they literally dissolve in their arms. And theres a touch of the tragic about both villains in that they are sort of forced into their rebellion by initial acts of violence/betrayal.

      • Droid says :

        I wouldn’t necessarily say more imagination, but simply that Del Toro was let off the leash. So everything was a bit more fanciful. On the first one he was more limited on budget and studio “management”. The main guy in the first one who wasn’t in the second one, for example. He was in there because the studio wanted him there as the audience surrogate.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        and as a result of being off the leash, the final result felt more imaginative. I think they are both very good movies personally, and I’ve rewatched them far more than the Marvel pics.

      • Droid says :

        Yeah, I just wouldn’t say it’s more imaginative. Both movies had similar monsters and whatnot. Just Del Toro was given freedom to make them more fanciful. Like the plant monster thing.

        I like both, just enjoy the first one more. I’d go 3 for Hellboy and 2.5 for HellBlade 2.

  11. Echo the Bunnyman says :

    Of all the comic book movies, I think I’d rather have a Hellboy 3 than the other stuff we are getting.

    Also, Man of Stool trailer is unimpressive, and at this very early stage it at least looks to be avoiding the hyperactive masturbation video game look Snyder loves.

    • Droid says :

      it at least looks to be avoiding the hyperactive masturbation video game look Snyder loves

      Huzzah! Hopefully that is true of the finished film. I really hope Nolan has kept him on a short leash. “Just be thankful you’re directing this after your other shitty movies and direct it how I tell you to direct it!”

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        the problem Droid is that all the teaser shows is glimpses of him as a Clark Kent, leaving the homestead etc, and one brief so-so far off shot of Superman breaking the sound barrier.

        Not nearly enough to go on, but not having it start with some slo-mo montage of Supes flying through a rainstrom wringing rain from his slo-mo, then fast-mo locks, is a relief…

        Snyder isnt a terrible filmmaker, he’s just a very indulgent one who has let his hype go to his head.

        The Legend of the Guardians is actually a pretty good movie, all in all. I also liked Dawn of the Dead. The problem is barking up that tree of shitty style that was 300, Watchmen and the crowning gem, Sucker Cunt.

      • Droid says :

        Sucker Cunt? That’s horrendous. The movies godawful too.

        I really liked Legend of the Guardians. That was a huge shock. But he slo-mo worked for that movie. And the animation was terrific. It’s by far his best movie.

        I hold out hope for Supes. Because I like Supes.

      • Jarv says :

        the problem Droid is that all the teaser shows is glimpses of him as a Clark Kent, leaving the homestead etc, and one brief so-so far off shot of Superman breaking the sound barrier.

        And this is what Knowles would pay for TDKR to see?

        Twat.

        Snyder:

        DotD- shit
        300- Shit
        Turdmen- Shit
        Owl thing- not seen
        Sucker Cunt- Shit shit shit.

        how the fuck does he get work?

      • Droid says :

        Agree with that, apart from DotD which I thought was okay.

        You probably won’t like it, but LotG is good.

      • Jarv says :

        DotD actually really annoys me, because there’s enough in it to be good, but it’s dragged down by hideous and moronic shit like Zombie baby.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        This is basically for the trailer:

        that dirge music from Fellowship of the Rings that plays when Gandalf falls into Moria…its behind the entire teaser, and its just somewhat grainy, sepia tone shots of the Kent farm (some of it made kind of naturalistic arty like faux-Malick) and a few shots of Kent thumbing rides, and working on a fishing trawler, and maybe a shot of Kevin Costner, and a voiceover by Costner about ‘whether you choose to be a good man or a bad man, you will change the world’… and then the shot of Supes flying into the sky breaking the sound barrier. That’s all there is.

        I will say I like that they gave the speech to pa kent instead of jor el this time.And although i know they wont, I think if Superman had to struggle with that idea–I will change the world, if Im good or bad,’ could be very interesting. But I cant see them handling it in an interesting way.

      • Jarv says :

        That sounds horrible. Awful, actually. Sepia has nightmares of Snyder being all visionary a la Sucker Punch again.

        At least with 300 and Turdmen his visual palette was defined by his slavish adoration to the comics, so he couldn’t go with the murky turd on a plate look of his magnum opus.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        well the serpia is there, but I wasnt graced with any obvious artificial shots, like some crappy Sin City looking Metropolis. I also dont think a muddy looking Superman movie is a good idea. I like the idea o it being colorful and bright…not gaudy, just more primary colors and less earth tones.

        Of all the trailers they showd in front of TDKR at the screening, only Argo got me excited at all.

        Its surprising to think how Affleck has really turned around his reputation by stepping into the director’s chair. That movie looks awesome even if the outcome is already predetermined.

      • Droid says :

        I was biding my time for Affleck Resurrection to come about. The second coming was inevitable.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s going to be all moody and turdlike. You can bet on it.

        Snyder doesn’t do bright.

      • Droid says :

        See, despite what you’ve said (which doesn’t really make me think differently one way or the other), the fact that you mention KevCos automatically makes me inclined to see it. The cast has too many of my favourite actors. Kev, Rusty, Shannon.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        yea, Im not anti-Supers or describing the trailer as bad, but it doesnt have any ‘money shots’ or unfortunately anything that will really tell us the tone of the film. But what’s there looks fine and the Costner narration was actually encouraging because I think hes at that point where he’d make a fine Kent. The problem is these characters have to die haflway through and it often imbalances the film. Martin Sheen is like the big warm hug at the start of Spiderman and then he leaves a hole whne he leaves. One of the reasons Nolan Batman movies worked too was that Freeman and Caine get to be there through the whole deal, and offer warmth and cheer to dark plots.

      • Droid says :

        This is true. I think I said at the time that Sheen is immediately and irrevocably missed in Spiderman.

      • Jarv says :

        Leaving aside that he shouldn’t be in it in the first place, this was totally inevitable.

      • Droid says :

        It’s also a fault of the writing, that is. Because in the first half, Spiderman essentially excludes Aunt May in favour of developing Peter and Uncle Ben’s relationship, so that when Ben dies, the impact is greater. But once this happens, the film doesn’t shift onto Aunt May and develop her character at all. She’s resigned to a role of worrying, so Field doesn’t get the chance to fill that void left by Sheen’s departure.

      • Jarv says :

        What did you think of Spider-Meh? I’ve forgotten. It holds about as much attraction to me as a salad diet does to Knowles, but I can’t remember what you thought.

      • Droid says :

        I called it The Amehzing Spiderman.

      • Jarv says :

        I’ve just got no interest in it at all.

      • Droid says :

        This is what I wrote…

        Submitted on 2012/07/09 at 9:31 am | In reply to Jarv.

        Watched…

        The Amehzing Spidermeh… How the fuck did it cost $230m? Good things about it: EMZ, Leary, Sheen. Garfield was okay, but far, far, far too old for it. I never believed him to be in high school. Understandable as he is 28. The end sequence on the tower was decent. Bad things about it: It looks cheap, albeit shiny. The Lizard FX are awful. With that much cash the lizard should not be giving me visions of Draco in Dragonheart. That was over 15 years ago for christ sake. Apart from the Lizard effects though, the film looked fake. A lot of poor blue screen. Although there are some nice shots of Spiderman, and he moves a bit better for the most part, than in Raimi’s films. But, the worst thing about it was the score. I’m astounded to find out it’s Horner, because it’s irritating, intrusive and doesn’t appear to match the action on the screen. There is also a strong sense of deja vu. Scenes and dialogue are altered, but thematically the same. There’s simply no getting around it. We’ve already had the origin, and this one is not better. The Peter learns his powers montage is better in Raimi’s version. Flash being an asshole, then flip flopping into his best bud is too abrupt. The movie gets all it’s effectiveness from the cast, particularly EMZ, Leary and Sheen. There’s actually a big hole in the film after Uncle Ben dies, where Sheen used to be. You miss his screen presence, which is of warmth and class. Also, I hope they make the next villain a real villain, not a “well intentioned scientist who experiments on himself”. That is so tired. Overall, it’s not very good.

      • Jarv says :

        Ah yes.

        So, a 1 rating?

      • Droid says :

        Pretty much, yeah.

        Leaving aside everything I’ve just said, you will hate it for the following reason…

        Mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off, mask goes on, mask comes off.

      • Jarv says :

        Oh christ. Why are Spidey films allergic to him keeping his fucking mask on?

      • Droid says :

        The thing is, he does have his mask on a fair bit. It’s just that he keeps taking it off, then putting it back on. Like we need to be reminded that there’s a human underneath the mask.

      • Jarv says :

        In other Mask news, apparently Urban doesn’t take it off in NuDredd. Which I’m not looking forward to.

        I must be nuts.

      • Droid says :

        You’re not looking forward to it? I thought that was one of your big complaints.

        I’m not looking forward to it because the trailer looked a bit poo. I have no idea about source material.

      • Droid says :

        AIFN is reporting that shooting at the TDKR screening.

        Now, maybe it’s just me, but I kind of find that to be in bad taste.

      • Jarv says :

        Not cool. It is news though.

        At least they’ve been sensible enough to shut the TB.

      • Droid says :

        Maybe it’s just my own prejudice towards that site. I didn’t look at the TB. That is sensible.

      • Jarv says :

        I was just curious about it.

      • Droid says :

        I’ve finally finished off the last paragraph to the birthday series review. I’ll chuck it up over the weekend. Don’t think that time = quality though. That was a shit to write, and far from my best work. Even by my lousy standards.

      • Jarv says :

        There you go, blockage cleared. Now you can romp through all the ones you’ve got backed up.

        Hehehehe.

      • Droid says :

        I’ve got a start on Total Recall. That’s something, I guess.

      • Jarv says :

        Lots of pictures and usage of the word “awesome”.

        Doddle.

      • Droid says :

        I was tempted to go down that route, but I decided to make it hard for myself. Giving it a bit of effort.

      • Jarv says :

        Doesn’t sound like you.

      • Droid says :

        Exactly. This is why I’m struggling.

      • Jarv says :

        There’s a nice easy paragraph about whether or not 3 boobs is a good idea.

      • Droid says :

        Three boobs are only good if you have three hands.

        Anyway, boobs weren’t on the list of topics to address. I’m all classy and whatnot.

      • Jarv says :

        Two hands and a mouth. Surely.

        Although I’m not sure it’s a good idea either.

      • Droid says :

        And unless you have two heads, the third boob is redundant for motorboating.

      • Jarv says :

        Maybe it’s kind of a boob version of Newton’s Cradle- you tap the one on the end, it bounces the one in the middle and then bounces the one on the other end out- then comes back in and repeats the other way,

        Boob based perpetual motion.

      • Droid says :

        I guess the third boob is handy for communication between Earth and Mars. Two boobs, you can tune Tokyo. Three boobs, Mars?

      • Jarv says :

        That’s an awesome point.

      • Droid says :

        We are adults, right?

      • Jarv says :

        Allegedly.

        I’m outta here. The cricket’s rained off, so I’ve no reason to still be in the office.

        Have fun at TDKR.

      • Droid says :

        Adios. I’ll report back.

      • Droid says :

        Batman is….???

      • Droid says :

        I’ll attempt a review. Lots to say. How to stay spoiler free is the challenge.

      • Droid says :

        Also saw the Supes trailer. Really nothing of substance to go on. Jonahs description is accurate.

      • Jarv says :

        Er. Whoops.

        What I meant to say- Urban doesn’t take it off in Nudredd, which I am quite looking forward to.

        Don’t worry about the source with it- it doesn’t look very faithful at all, to be honest. Although Garland is a 2000AD fan and seems to have a good handle on what he’s aiming for.

        It needs to make over $50m in the US, because I need that sequel with Judge Death. Frankly.

      • Jarv says :

        No hope for that at all. Think it will be hideous actually.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        Im not going to call it hideous yet, because Ive not seen any of it to make an opinion. It could be good. It likely won’t be, but we will see. I personally like Superman but so far none of have even come close to the Donner one, even if I still dont think that’s quite the Superman movie we could have.

      • Jarv says :

        Snyder+ Gritty+ Origin Story.

        That’s me out, frankly. I do not need to see Superman lift things in slow motion. I’m just thankful Luthor isn’t in it.

      • Droid says :

        Out of interest… In case I got it wrong, but in TDKReturns, did Batman use kryptonite on Supes? He got someone to shoot an arrow of something at him. It was green. And there was some dialogue saying “It took me years to get. I knew this day would come.” or some nihilistic nonsense.

      • Jarv says :

        Yes.

        Green Arrow shot Supes with Powdered Kryptonite, and he’d blotted out the sun, I think so was weaker.

        That’s the worst section of that funnybook.

      • Droid says :

        Yes, the whole Superman thing is pretty dire.

      • Jarv says :

        Not great, no. I quite like the stuff with the Mutants and the Joker. Hopelessly overrated

      • Droid says :

        I liked The Joker section. I thought that was good, albeit grim. Not over the moon about the mutants. Very overrated.

      • Jarv says :

        I honestly don’t think any of the “seminal” funnybooks are actually that good. Admittedly, I don’t know enough, but the ones I’ve read (Turdmen, TDKR etc) I’ve just been “meh” about.

      • Droid says :

        I’m going to track down the Daredevil funnybook that TKD and Conti mentioned the other day. I know very little about DD, apart from what I’ve seen in the Affleck FTW!!! movie, and they said it’s one of the best.

      • Jarv says :

        The Miller one?

        Try Kraven’s Last Hunt as well- that’s one of the best, as I remember.

      • Droid says :

        It’s the Miller one I think.

        I will look for Kraven too.

  12. Droid says :

    Ticket? Check.

    Munchies? Check.

    Roll on 5pm.

  13. Bartleby says :

    Spoiler free review of TDKR is hard I think, especially since some of the issues I had with it were very specific things related to stuff I couldnt talk about.

    are those three questions marks symbolic? like wheel of fortune? Three words? Batman is..,.meh…ass…gay?

    yay or nay? or wavy hand?

  14. Bartleby says :

    I vote marked spoiler review…maybe with a brief intro. I think most of us are going to/have seen it and I wouldn’t mind a venue to discuss the details…

    Although, I have a bluray copy of TDK to give away, maybe I’ll put up a TDKR reactions article up at PCN… that might be a good venue for it.

    • Droid says :

      Think I might just write the review as I want it, and decide afterwards if it’s editable to spoiler free status. Probably not and i’ll just disclaimer it but i’ll give it a go.

  15. Bartleby says :

    Droid, a question…sorry if it seems tacky, but I cant remmeber…. Isnt there a bit in Dark Knight Returns–the Miller book–where someone shoots up a theater full of people? Maybe Im thinking of a different comic.It just popped into my mind, that there’s a panel or page in one of the stories where that happens.

    Talk here of cancelling screenings of the film. I doubt it will happen. I do wonder whats in the future for Gangster Squad, given that very prominent scene in the trailers. We are pretty kneejerk about these things here, and I suspect the movie-going landscape is going to change a bit.

    Im still wondering how dude got into the theater. I’ve not heard that bit. Was he dressed in a ‘costume’ or did he come in through the back or something?

    • Droid says :

      No, there wasn’t. The Joker did kill a talkshow live audience with gas. That’s the closest thing I can think of.

      • Bartleby says :

        no, must have either been another Batman story or maybe its a Punisher storyline or something. Maybe Conti remembers. I do recall the Joker gassing the talk show. I’ve heard some reports the dude is claiming he was emulating the Joker now. I expected to hear that.

      • Droid says :

        Freakin’ lunatic. Sometimes (ie. quite often) I hate people.

      • Bartleby says :

        I understand what you mean. They are posting pictures of him now online, which I really dont think is a good idea.

        I struggled with whether or not to put up a page on this thing, mostly as a recognition of the victims–feels trivial to just have the batman review there without any acknowledgment, but honestly I didnt know when I wrote the piece some nutjob was gonna do tht.

        Ultimately reason I havent caved, is I really dont want to give the goon anymore spotlight–little as it may be–or attention, and add to the media hysteria that will no doubt continue to build, arching out into obviously wrong-headed directions.

      • Droid says :

        If I’m honest, speaking in terms of here (hardly a classy establishment, just read Jarv and my discussion on Total Recall earlier) I don’t think it’s appropriate. But that’s just me. I see here as a kind of issue, real life free zone. Somewhere to escape to and talk bollocks about meaningless junk. Sure, we can talk serious, and we do from time to time. But personally I’d rather keep things separated from real world issues.

      • Droid says :

        I’ve written one paragraph and it’s clear I’m not going to be able to write a spoiler free review. Disclaimer it is.

    • Continentalop says :

      Yeah, it happens in The DKR, but it is a porn theater.

      • Bartleby says :

        oh, ok so more Fred Willard style?

        I thought so, and then I started to seeing articles about it last night after I asked the question…

  16. Bartleby says :

    I didnt mean here, I meant at PCN–and I’ve already come to the decision, it isnt…

    PCN is intended for movie related news, and more of an informational site–or would be if I could update it as regularly–so it’s not the sort of ‘clubhouse’ thing WOTM is. But I do agree. The only time I post real world similar stuff is when its got actual crossover value, i.e. that Ron Perlman visiting the make a wish kid as Hellboy.

    The only reason I see it being relevant here is that it has the potential for affecting the film industry–or at least the theater going experience. For me, that’s a conversation for much later. Now it’s a sad/mourning kind of atmosphere, and I just don’t have anything to add to that.

    • Bartleby says :

      again, ‘here’ wasnt WOTM….just in the general discussion.

      Anyhoo, enough about that…just finished Dragon/Wuxia….Did you see that Droid? Donnie Yen and feets to the head.

      • Droid says :

        No, I haven’t seen it. I actually have a lot of catching up to do with movies. I haven’t really watched much, being away and all. I acquired Rec 3, so I’ll give that a go at some stage. You seen it yet?

    • Droid says :

      Yeah, I didn’t want to speak for PCN, which is why I clarified I was talking about here. My personal view (which is why I thought the one at AIFN was in bad taste) is that a movie related site isn’t really the forum for it, even though it’s got that obvious connection. My opinion, for what it’s worth.

      • Jarv says :

        Got to agree with the trash can. AIFN stuffed full of neanderthal twats, and a tragedy like this will bring out the worst in them.

      • Jarv says :

        Anyhoo.

        Tdkr-

        Better than begins worse than TDK.

      • Droid says :

        I’m working on a review. Spoilerific, and leaving it a day or two to settle so I rationally judge it. I disagree with your assessment, but then I rate BB over TDK, so that’s to be expected.

      • Jarv says :

        One thing though- Knowles is absolutely wrong about it. There’s one complaint he has in particular that’s just utter garbage.

  17. Xiphos0311 says :

    I learned something interesting while my computer was broken. My review of Battle LA is classified as porn by the both the Camp Lejeune base library and the public library system of Jacksonville North Carolina.

    • Continentalop says :

      Maybe because they think it is so “fucking” good?

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        my guess is the liberal use of the words cock, cocksucker, pussy, fuck(and derivative words), cunt and the like.

    • tombando says :

      Not enough people ‘get’ the allure of giant robot lions. The nerve of those firewalls-

    • Bartleby says :

      that’s because that review has more ‘fucking’ in it than your average Ron Jeremy joint. I did not doing housekeeping the other day, that your BLA editorial you did for PCN is in the top 20 articles for traffic.

      and again, welcome back xi. Did you read the new Winslow book yet?

  18. Xiphos0311 says :

    review coming soon for that shit bag Oliver Stone’s Savages. Talk about a talentless fucking hack that really doesn’t get it and missed the entire POINT of the book.

    • tombando says :

      Good to see you back Xiphos. Thought Savages looked like a Mess myself. Stone was better back in Nixon/Jfk days.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Have to disagree Tom in my opinion Stone has never been a very good director and he’s a terrible human being on top of that.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        Ive never really cared for Stone, and based on what I’ve heard, knowing people who worked on JFK and some of his other work, he was heavily leaning on the others around him back then, due to the massively coked-out stupor he was allegedly constantly in.

      • Continentalop says :

        Talk Radio was really good. JFK was BS, but wonderfully made BS. If you can get by how inaccurate and how much fantasy it is, you can marvel at his camera and editing choices.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        maybe you can marvel at editing and camera work but to me the “wonderfully”made was boring badly made conspritard ramblings of a douchebag.

      • Continentalop says :

        Turn the audio off and not pay attention to the story, Xi. Makes it easier to admire his technique.

        Also, drinking helps.

    • Bartleby says :

      You are telling me….Savages was one of the worst damn movies of the summer and NOTHING like the book. Also what a cast of nothings as the main players… three two-by-fours with faces painted on them would have been more likable than the three ‘protagonists’.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Winslow has a new book out? i did not know that.hopefully stopped with the god awful endings like with Savages. Man was that ending awful and nearly ruined the book for me which over all was very strong.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        its a prequel to Savages, called The Kings of Cool…I have not read it yet. Want to do a review for PCN, but haven’t gotten to it. with baby and all.

      • tombando says :

        I really like Jfk and Nixon Xi. Different strokes. I hated Born on the 4th of July, liked Platoon, ummmm Alexander was Cokey level bad.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Why would Savages need a prequel? Man it sounds like Winslow is doing a cash grab which while personally good for him and I applaud it, makes me think the sterling quality of his work might suffer for it.

  19. Jarv says :

    Right. I have now seen all 4 Underworld movies. Time to start the series.

  20. tombando says :

    Okay Weekend viewing here:

    *Bad Movie Marathon Day(TM)–

    *King Kong Escapes-Rankin Bass, King Kong, Iron Kong, Japanese guy who looks like Neil Diamond and is dubbed by Boris Badenov. Kong assaults the Tokyo Tower while fighting w/ Iron Kong. Basically they kick at each other alot and you get to see why Iron Kong is also called ‘Blinky Kong’. Both apes are shaped like the Abominable in Rudolph, made just 3 years before by same folks. Jarv would hate this. Klpipy prob. has the DVD ditto Conti Pops. The orange plastic tub toy copters are worth the price of admission themselves.

    *War of the Gargantuas-Ross Tamblyn sleepwalks thru a Good Hulk vs. Bad Hulk kinda movie. Big giant Hulk types wreck havoc across Japan. You get to watch the green one run Straight across the set from right to left, full bore, not swerving an inch three times in a row. It’s a riot. Neato laser F/X, falling trees, cameo by giant rubber octopus, oil tanker as tub toy. Kyoto never had it so bad. Conti Pops has gotta own this one.

    *Day the World Ended-early Roger Corman Snoozer from ’55. Paul Birch, Mannix, couple of blondes, guy in goofy Satanic Soot, Bronson Canyon backlot locale. Lotsa cross talk, dust F/x, people wander around w/ radiation sickness into box canyon surrounded by lead mountains that protect(!) everyone inside from fallout. Burro knocked off, violence done to Mannix’ hair, ummm three sets are used at most. Has it’s moments but you are looking at your watch 14 minutes in and it just never goes anywheres. Monster is on-screen 4 minutes max. Kloipy prob. has this. Jarv should.

    Roaring Twenties–Cagney, Bogart, Priscilla Lane, Gladys George. Loved it. Cagney just lights up the screen whenever he’s on there. Bogie as baddie shown picking off ‘Heinies’ in the trenches 4 minutes before the armistice is pretty chilling. Standard bootlegging fare but nicely done. You should see this. ’39

    Angels w/ Dirty Faces-Cagney, Bogart, Dead End Kids (Leo Gorcey, Huntz Hall, etc.), Pat O’brien, Anne Sheridan. ’38 This one’s really good too-standard tale of two kids, one gone bad, one becoming a priest, meeting up 20 years down the line, Cagney winds up in the Electric Chair. He’s great. The ‘Kids’ are OK if grating at times, Sheridan fills the screen Nicely, O’Brien staunch if trite as the priest. Bogart plays a weasel in this.

    Turdmen–okay saw 5 minutes of this and changed the channel. No thanks.

  21. Droid says :

    Morning. Nice day today. Would rather not be stuck in work. Not much to report from the weekend. TDKR and Babe (awesome!). Was going to post a review, but procrastinated. And seeing as though there’s been about a gazillion reviews posted here over the weekend, one of my ramblings won’t be missed.

    • Droid says :

      Surprised at how limp Englands much vaunted bowling attack has been against the Saffa’s. Poms need a miracle to get out of this one. Where’s Monty when you need him?

      • Jarv says :

        Fucked. Absolutely fucked.

        I always suspected the Saffas have the best batting lineup around, and this just proves it. Everything that could go wrong has gone wrong- Strauss should have bowled first, as the Oval is a flat pitch and you need the air conditions to help you out. Instead the stupid cunt batted- giving the Saffas 2 days in glorious sunshine. Then they bowled inordinately badly (first time in ages) the only time they had the conditions to help them. Broad in particular was horrible.

        150 behind. If they can bat through till Tea without losing any more, then that should put them marginally ahead, but it’s Shermi and Ravi in, and they’re both flaky.

        Next up is Headingly, and I’d sorely be tempted to pick Finn and go with 5 Bowlers there. You need to blow them out quickly at Headingly, because it’s a low scoring ground. Ball swings round corners.

    • Jarv says :

      I’ve watched a hell of a lot at the weeekend:

      Underworld 1-3 (all shit for different reasons), Metalstorm (fuck 3D), The Thing (mint), Adam Chaplin (meh), TDKR (good), Body Heat (mint), Coma (good), Stalker (meh), TDK (Excellent).

      This week’s reviews:

      Tomorrow is Underworld, Tuesday is Metalstorm, Wednesday is Underworld: Evolution, Thursday is The Thing, Friday is Underworld: Rise of the Lycans, Saturday is, hopefully, Honky Tonk Freeway, Sunday is Underworld 4.

      Then next week Monday is Schock, Tuesday is a reblog of a new and improved ROTLD, Wednesday is Rich Kids, Thursday is reblog of ROTLD 2, Friday is Coma to finish the Birthday Series (before Total Recall). Saturday is reblog of new and improved ROTLD 3, Sunday will be ROTLD 4 and Monday will be ROTLD 5.

      I need to think of what to do before I go away, though.
      I may break this up with some vault reviews in the meantime, though. Depends what I watch.

  22. Droid says :

    This is tragic, and it’s probably a bit callous of me, but I really want to know why the fuck this woman would take a 6 year old to a midnight screening of TDKR.

    http://www.theage.com.au/world/injured-mothers-devastation-to-learn-her-little-girl-is-gone-20120723-22itl.html

    • Droid says :

      Personally, I wouldn’t let a 6 year old watch Nolans Batman films. And never in a million years would I take a child to a midnight screening of a near 3 hour movie.

      • Jarv says :

        Maybe Begins, certainly not the other two.

        This reminds me- I did laugh at the Man of Stool trailer:

        Visionary Director of 300 and Watchmen

        No mention of Sucker Punch?

      • Jarv says :

        Definitely not to a Midnight Showing.

        It is tragic, frankly, but we can talk about it academically in the context of other shit parents doing things like this.

      • Droid says :

        It doesn’t say Visionary. Just says Director of 300 and Watchmen.

        I think it does call Nolan a visionary though. Too many visionaries spoil the broth, I guess.

      • Droid says :

        I would say, 10 minimum, for Begins. The big thing for me is the sound effects when Bats hits people. They really make the impact sound like a real whollop. Like in Begins when he’s in the apartment and he slams a guys head into the mirror. Just before he gets gassed by Crane. That always makes me wince.

        This said, I watched Arnie movies like Commando, Predator and Running Man when I was 10 or 11. Those, despite being bloody, are more cartoonish in nature though.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s a tough one- the two moments that I think would preclude a pre-10 are the Joker putting the razor blade in the criminal’s mouth in TDK, and the back-breaking in TDKR.

      • Droid says :

        It’s the tone for me. There is some brutal violence, as you’ve mentioned, but my biggest reason is that these movies aren’t for little kids. They’re not intended for little kids. They’re aimed at teens on up, and I think that’s the best, and most appropriate, audience for them.

        I wouldn’t think twice about letting a pre-10 child watch The Avengers for example.

      • Jarv says :

        Yes, tonally they are very much more “adult” than anything else.

        It’s one thing seeing Jerry drop a piano on Tom, and quite another seeing Batman get his back snapped.

      • Droid says :

        And Bats dropping Eric Roberts in TDK. Stuff like that is just brutal.

        The entire audience flinched when Bats got his back snapped.

      • Droid says :

        What was GingerFats criticisms of it? Or are you going to make me read his “review”?

      • Jarv says :

        They’re almost all wrong. I was going to save it for your review- but some of them are flat out stupid, and very spoilerificly stupid as well.

      • Droid says :

        Righty-o. Just wait for my review then. I’ll try to get it done today. Wrote a bunch on saturday, but decided to leave it a few days to settle. And for people to go and see it, because it’s spoiler filled.

      • Jarv says :

        That’s why I was holding off. One of Gingerfats biggest complaints is inordinately wrong and stupid, but it’s a huge spoiler.

      • Jarv says :

        In fact, given how much TDKR draws from Knightfall and TDKReturns, his “not batman” comment is laughably off base.

      • Jarv says :

        This- it’s a mild spoiler, but this is the level he’s nitpicking at:

        The toe to toe fight with Bane is the most unBatman fight you’ll ever see in your life. The choreography was not dynamic.

        He’s totally missed the point of that fight. Completely missed it, actually.

      • Droid says :

        *rolls eyes*

        Um… Did he even try to watch the movie, and understand the movie? Of course it wasn’t.

        This is general, knobbish fanboi whinging because the film wasn’t what he wanted it to be.

      • Jarv says :

        He gets far worse, I’ve picked a really mild one, but he ends up comparing it to Raiders and then prays that someone puts Man-Bat in a film.

        The worst complaint he has is something that I knew already, but from playing Arkham City and even a cursory knowledge of the funnybooks I’d have called roughly 2/3 of the way through the film anyway. The missus called it as soon as the key line came in- and she’s only seen me playing Arkham City.

      • Droid says :

        What is it? Invisitext or something.

        The section of the review I’m writing now is about the “revelations”.

      • Jarv says :

        Here’s gingerfats’ complaint:

        Then when they decide to unveil Talia al Ghul – and then just apparently kill her. And yeah – it just pissed me off. Talia Al Ghul is a great character. Here… she’s just a convenient plot twist. That’s all.

        And this is why he’s wrong:

        I am only familiar with her through Arkham City, and as soon as they started talking about the Mercenary’s son and Neeson appeared, I’d have called it- the wife did. I really liked Talia as the mastermind behind the scenes, though Cotillard was good, and even a cursory knowledge of Batman should have given away that it wasn’t Bane that escaped. Making her the overall villain is I think really good and elevates a minor character above her station. Talia, anyway, is hardly a “great character”. She’s a bit of bloody eye candy that Batman boinks periodically who always answers to her father. Talis in the funnybook also always helps Ras out with his schemes. Cotillard planned the whole damned thing to complete his scene, not to mention that Bruce DID boink her.

        Stupid fucking complaint of an emotionally crippled man-child who missed the point completely

      • Jarv says :

        Underworld scheduled. Man, that’s a shitey film. This series is going to be very difficult to do given that all three of the first trilogy narrowly duck OoD’s.

      • Droid says :

        Up to about 1600 words or more. Still not talked about a bunch of stuff. This is indulgent rambling.

      • Jarv says :

        Absolutely hammered. I blame Strauss entirely for this.

      • Droid says :

        A coin toss decision that can only be described as Ponting- esque.

        Still to be fair, the saffas batted bloody well. And you bowled like shit.

      • Jarv says :

        Yes. Worst bowling performance in a long time. The fields were set too conservatively, and they were trying to bore Amla and kallis (of all players) out. Who ever bored Kallis out.

        Just got to go away, regroup and then come back hard at headingly.

      • Droid says :

        Up to about 2K now. Time to wrap this up.

      • Jarv says :

        Nice.

        Metalstorm set as well. I’m going to get quite far ahead I think. Hopefully far enough that something should go up most of the time when I’m away.

      • Droid says :

        Yeah, well I’ve got this and the B’Day review done. Total Recall halfway there. I can fill in a few of the off days. We’ll have to get Wolf a new series to do, seeing as though he’s almost at the end of his B’Day series.

      • Droid says :

        And we’ve got to get Bastard Pillows onto the DC series. Or at least reviewing Ghost Rider 2.

      • Jarv says :

        He’s got Dork Trek sitting on the back burner (hehehe).

        Bastard Pillows has Avengers and Ghost Rider 2 waiting for him. I think the Duck may have broken him though.

      • Droid says :

        Fucking evil that Duck.

      • Jarv says :

        I just watched the highlights reel in the review and it put me right off rewatching it.

        I wonder why I give it a pass. It’s clearly bunk.

      • Jarv says :

        Jesus christ! The American right are insane:

        http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/jul/22/lawabiding-armed-citizens-prevent-more-aurora

        I suggested on Twitter that we should consider “movie control” to stop these sorts of acts.

      • Droid says :

        I was baffled by your support for it. Even as an 8 year old I hated it.

      • Jarv says :

        You were?

        I’m fucking baffled by my support for it. How the fuck did I get nostalgia for that?

      • Jarv says :

        Fuck me. This is epic from AIFN:

        As we try to get back to some sense of normalcy in our lives following the events of the other night, it only makes sense that another symbol of our culture show up in order to help us move forward with strength and courage… and that’s where Superman comes in.

      • Droid says :

        Good gravy. What imbecile wrote that?

      • Jarv says :

        Your pal The Kidd.

        I was looking for more on that shitty Deadliest Catch Man trailer. Oh, and just out of curiousity, why is Clarke Kent fucking hitch hiking in it?

      • Droid says :

        I assume that’s his journey of self discovery (a la Bruce Wayne learning how the other side lives, stealing and whatnot). He goes to Africa or somesuch doesn’t he? Basically he’ll go away, learn lessons and come back as Superman.

        I’m off. When’s your next review going up?

      • Jarv says :

        5AM tomorrow.

        Yes, but why’s he hitchhiking? Even if he doesn’t know that he can fly, he does know he can run faster than a bullet.

        Horseshit. Trying to normalise Superman.

      • Droid says :

        I would assume that it’s that he’s incognito. A normal bloke zipping around, flying and whatnot. That would get noticed, and i guess he doesn’t want to be noticed. Supes announces his presence to the world once he’s Supes doesn’t he?

      • Jarv says :

        That’ll be the excuse. I don’t buy it as he’s hardly going to announce his presence legging it back from Alaska. How fast is a bullet, anyway? If he keeps away from populated areas, who’s going to see him?

      • Jarv says :

        Christ, that scene by itself should have got TDK a 15.

      • Droid says :

        I watched the Man of Steel trailers again yesterday. The Rusty voiceover is better than the Costner one. Both are the same trailers, just different voice overs.

        I’m already bored by the “Terrence Malicks’ Man of Steel” comments. It was even in THR.

  23. Jarv says :

    Very very sarky Underworld Evolution review scheduled. Can someone look at the preview and tell me if it’s offensive, because I may have to change it if I’ve gone too far.

  24. tombando says :

    Harold just HATED Bats III. I’m not sure what he expected to see-it’s Clearly of a piece w/ the other two.

    And seriously, Man-Bat?? Is Batmite still around-?

    • Jarv says :

      He really did. It’s the pathetic wailing of a frustrated man child.

    • Droid says :

      He has a stick up his keyster about Nolan.

      I seriously wouldn’t put it passed being something as simple as him wanting to slob Joss Whedons knob and he’s trying to shoot down anything he thinks is a rival to The Avengers.

      • Jarv says :

        Or that he didn’t get pwesents

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        yea, that and something turned him on Nolan….He used to be the biggest BJer in regards to Nolan, and then there was that mysterious bit where he never did an Inception review and then flippantly said ‘I will never review it because it just didnt matter much to me.’

        Huh? Last year he and his slobbered over TF3 and they couldnt find good things to say about TKDR?

        Also, in another ‘AICN you are circling the drain’, that comic guy Ambush Bug is apparently the late, great KungfuHustler.

      • Jarv says :

        Is he? Where did you get that?

        That dude’s weird.

      • Droid says :

        Right. Finished TDKR review. Will post it after dinner. Unless someone else has something going up tonight.

      • Jarv says :

        Nah- all mine go in the morning.

  25. tombando says :

    Seriously? Ambush Bug is KungFOO Hustler? didn’t Hustler freak out on you guys in a Twitch TB some time ago-?

  26. tombando says :

    Haw thats funny. And so now he is funny book reviewer. Sad man.

    Am watching a doubleheader of the Searchers and Fort Apache. Ford, Monument Valley, Fonda and da Duke. Good stuff.

  27. koutchboom says :

    NEW SEASON OF ALPHAS BEGINS TONIGHT!

    • Droid says :

      “The author published an earlier serialised version of this story online with different characters as Master of the Universe under the pseudonym Snowqueens Icedragon.”

      I do realise this is the pot calling the kettle black, but honestly… Snowqueens Icedragon? This is the writer of the fastest selling book in history.

  28. Droid says :

    I’m bored, so here’s some news…

    Denzel is making a movie version of The Equalizer. What I find interesting is that the budget is set at $50m, and Denzel gets paid $20m a movie. So… 40% of the entire budget is going on Denzel. Bonkers! I like him though, and he’s a bankable star, so… why the hell not?

    Edgar Wright is directing a scifi movie called Collider, written by the guy who wrote I Am Legend.

    The Rock has made a movie called Snitch, which follows a suburban dad (Johnson) whose teen son is sentenced to 10 years under mandatory minimum drug laws. To reduce the sentence, the father goes undercover to catch a senior drug dealer.

    – In ridiculous overkill news, Despicable Me has spawned a theme park ride, a sequel, and now a spinoff movie about the minions.

    – The Cruiser’s just finished making Oblivion, directed by the Tron 2 guy, and has immediately started All You Need Is Kill (bet this silly name is changed), directed by Doug Liman. It’s based on a japanese book, and this synopsis is ripped from the books wiki page. “The story is told from the perspective of Keiji Kiriya, the protagonist, a new recruit in the United Defense Force which fights against the mysterious ‘Mimics’ which have laid siege to Earth. Keiji is killed on his first sortie, but through some inexplicable phenomenon wakes up having returned to the day before the battle, only to find himself caught in a time loop as his death and resurrection repeats time and time again. Keiji’s skill as a soldier grows as he passes through each time loop in a desperate attempt to change his fate.” Sounds a bit like Source Code to me.

    PS… this is Oblivions synopsis from IMDB. A court martial sends a veteran soldier to a distant planet, where he has to destroy the remains of an alien race. The arrival of an unexpected traveler causes him to question what he knows about the planet, his mission, and himself.

  29. Jarv says :

    Horrible day. Social Media Marketing training.

    Still, I now have a twitter account.

    Koutch- you chat some shit on that.

  30. Jarv says :

    Sand Sharks is

    MINT

    Overexcited style and everything. Brooke Hogan is the worst movie scientist in history, Briani Evigan’s elder sister stinks up the screen, and it’s basically catastrophically stupid and awful on every level.

    Yet, it’s fucking hilarious, and I think intentionally.

  31. Jarv says :

    Thinking about changing my Gravatar to this:

    This is a Jarv, apparently.

  32. kloipy says :

    You guys will love this! I was looking at an old twitch forum where we were bashing MiraJeff. So at the end of the TB he comes back…a year after the last post and says this

    ‘Everyone in this talkback can LITERALLY go fuck themselves, especially Lost Jarv. You guys don’t know FUCK from SHIT. I haven’t been banned from AICN. I have no idea what half you losers are talking about. Get a fucking life. I can understand bitching about celebrities online but you guys are bitching about me? I can’t imagine I’m even worth you thinking about, let alone writing about. You guys have just redefined pathetic, and I say that knowing full well that it’s pathetic of me to respond to this fucking garbage. If anyone wants the straight shit you can track me down and email me at VARIETY, cuz that’s where I am now, probably thanks to the work I did here at AICN which I remain proud of. Thank God we don’t get scumbags like you fucks in the Variety articles. You are truly sad and I think less of the human race after reading your laughable attempts to put me down. I am better than every. single. one. of. you. at. everything.’

    LMAO!!! here’s the link to that TB http://www.aintitcool.com/node/37869

  33. Droid says :

    NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! That Twilight/Cosmopolis fucker is in David Michods new movie. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

    Set in the Australian desert, the futuristic western tells the story of Eric, who has left everything, everyone and every semblance of human kindness behind him, as he’s forced to join an injured gang member, Rey, to hunt down Rey’s gang after they steal the last of Eric’s possessions.

    http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/robert-pattinson-kristen-stewart-guy-pearce-354608

    Guy Pearce is in it too.

    Oh, and apparently people care that boyface cheated on him.

  34. Droid says :

    In an example of my unimaginable depravity, I have a desire to watch Van Helsing. Never mind that I thought it was garbage when I saw it upon its release. I have absolutely no explanation for said desire.

    • Jarv says :

      Bleurgh. Orangutan of Doom for that.

      You must be near to 100% Beckinsale. That’s something to be proud of.

      • Droid says :

        Not even close actually. I’ve seen 13 out of 30, going off the list on wiki. That’s including Total Recall which isn’t out yet, but I will probably see. Unfortunately. So I’m counting that as a “seen”.

      • Jarv says :

        30?

        What the fuck?

        I must be closer than that.

      • Droid says :

        Unseen
        Much Ado About Nothing
        Uncovered
        Prince of Jutland
        Marie-Louise Ou La Permission
        Cold Comfort Farm
        Haunted
        The Last Days of Disco
        Alice Through the Looking Glass
        The Golden Bowl
        Laurel Canyon
        Tiptoes
        Snow Angels
        Nothing but the Truth
        Winged Creatures
        Everybody’s Fine
        Contraband
        Underworld: Awakening

        Seen
        Shooting Fish
        Brokedown Palace
        Pearl Harbor
        Serendipity
        Underworld
        Aviator, TheThe Aviator
        Van Helsing
        Click
        Underworld: Evolution
        Vacancy
        Whiteout
        Underworld: Rise of the Lycans
        Total Recall

      • Jarv says :

        CCF and Alice are TV.

        out of the 27 she’s made, I’ve seen 16.

        Much Ado might be her best film, actually.

      • Droid says :

        Okay, the I’ve seen 13 out of 28 when I include Total Remake.

      • Jarv says :

        I’d watch Much Ado, genuinely.

        It’s Branagh Directing Shakespeare and has an almost film-ruining turn from Keanu. He’s hilarious in it.

      • Jarv says :

        17 out of 28 for me when I include Total Recall.

        That’s far too bloody high. I had no idea I’d seen that many films with her in it.

      • Jarv says :

        Oh, and obviously Underworld 4. You can’t leave the series hanging. And she’s in a catsuit.

        Talking about which, I’m not sure Underworld 3 counts, because she’s just a cameo shot at the end, and I think the shot may have been from Underworld 1 anyway.

      • Droid says :

        Underworld 4? Never heard of it. I’m pretty sure that doesn’t exist.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s far and away the best Underworld. And doesn’t have Speedman.

      • Jarv says :
        • 2012 Underworld: Awakening ok
        • 2012 Contraband not seen
        • 2009 Everybody’s Fine not seen
        • 2009 Whiteout shite
        • 2009 Underworld: Rise of the Lycans shite
        • 2008 Nothing But the Truth not seen
        • 2008 Fragments not seen
        • 2007 Vacancy shite
        • 2007/I Snow Angels not seen
        • 2006 Click not seen
        • 2006 Underworld: Evolution shite
        • 2004 The Aviator shite
        • 2004 Van Helsing shite
        • 2003 Underworld shite
        • 2003 Tiptoes not seen
        • 2002 Laurel Canyon not seen
        • 2001 Serendipity shite
        • 2001 Pearl Harbor shite
        • 2000 The Golden Bowl not seen
        • 1999 Brokedown Palace shite
        • 1998 The Last Days of Disco shite
        • 1997 Shooting Fish shite
        • 1995 Haunted shite
        • 1995 Marie-Louise ou la permission not seen
        • 1995 Uncovered not seen
        • 1994 Prince of Jutland not seen
        • 1993 Much Ado About Nothing Good
      • Droid says :

        The only changes I’d make to the ones I’d seen is Vacancy, BD Palace are meh. Click is shite.

      • koutchboom says :

        What’s wrong with 1997 Shooting Fish? That was a fun flick.

      • Jarv says :

        Nothing. It’s just not very good and badly runs out of steam in the last third.

    • Echo the Bunnyman says :

      ugh. van helsing. just watch solomon kane again instead.

      • Droid says :

        I know. There’s no rational explanation for this random desire to subject myself to Van Helsing again, but there you have it. I was thinking of watching Solomon Kane again anyway. Maybe a double with Outlander FTW!!!

  35. Echo the Bunnyman says :

    Hey Droid, question. Would you have any interest in doing a Killer Joe review for PCN? I wanted to put one up tomorrow but won’t likely have time due to the other mediocrity I have to review.

    Ebert is right-on about The Watch while simultaneously being too kind to it. It’s a complete waste, and even manages to make R. Lee Ermey cameo pathetic and uninteresting.

  36. Echo the Bunnyman says :

    Busy trying to write-up the Pact, Black Pond and some weirdo anime thing.

    New ST Troopers animated=suck. too bad. How is Rico back, The Casp producing, and yet they don’t use his voice?

    • Jarv says :

      Er, what?

      Black Pond? Good luck with that. I thought about reviewing it, but I’d just rant about that paedo langham for a while.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        See, I know you told me about Langham before, but I forgot and didnt realize while watching the film until about halfway through. I’ve mentioned the distraction it causes, but haven’t lingered over it. I dont know much about what happened though. Did he bugger a kid, or was it something else?

        The movie doesn’t deal with anything like that or have any seedy undertones, although it does deal with one’s family dysfunction being brought to light in an extensive, national way, so there was that.

        Putting the review up in a few.

      • Jarv says :

        Kiddie Porn:

        On 29 November 2005, Langham was arrested by Kent Police in connection with Operation Ore, an ongoing investigation into internet child pornography, and was released on bail. The arrest was first reported in the press on 16 December 2005, in response to which Langham’s lawyer read a statement in which he said that he was innocent, and pointed out that he had not been charged.[3] On 11 May 2006 he was charged with 15 counts of “making indecent images” (a technical legal term actually meaning downloading of images as distinct from the act of photography) of children.[4]
        The trial took place during July and August 2007. Part of Langham’s defence to these charges in court was that they were research on a paedophile character “Pedro” for a television comedy. Langham’s former Help co-star/writer Paul Whitehouse confirmed that the character was referred to as a “peeping tom” who was prone to highly dubious sexual behaviour. “It was implied he had rubbed up against someone on a train” Whitehouse stated in court. Whitehouse stated that he was unaware that the character was intended to be a paedophile, nor was he personally aware of Langham obtaining such material for the development of the programme’s script. However, a script was read out in which Pedro ogles young women and says: “God sent these young girls to me as temptation and I failed.”[5]
        A selection of files and images found on Langham’s laptop computer was shown to the jury on 25 July 2007.[6] Langham stated under oath that he had been sexually abused by a stranger as a child,[7] and admitted having pornography to help him “work through” his own psychological difficulties which resulted, but denied being himself a paedophile.[8] He stated of one pornographic film downloaded that “I talked to my wife about it. I’m one of the children in the photographs. That’s the problem I have with it. I don’t know how to react to it,”[8] adding:
        “ I know about the world of being at the receiving end of a paedophile but I don’t know about paedophilia, the networks, the slang, what does the room look like […] [When watching the pictures] my heart started beating, my mouth went dry and I started feeling sick. I tried to think what was the connection that made me go there […] To me it was like putting my face in a chainsaw. I had to get out. I did it on four occasions and had I not been arrested, I probably would have done it again […] it’s an issue in my life. It was horrible.[8] ”
        On 2 August 2007 Langham was found guilty on charges of possessing child pornography and made to sign the sexual offenders register.[9] He was remanded in custody pending sentencing on 14 September.[10] Langham was also charged with eight sexual offences against an unnamed woman who was below the age of 16 at the time the assaults supposedly happened.[11] Langham was acquitted of all these charges in the same trial where the pornography offences were considered. He was sentenced to ten months in prison on 14 September 2007.[12]
        Langham stated throughout that he was determined to clear his name but withdrew from all BBC projects pending the outcome of the case.[13] On 5 December 2006 it was reported that he was banned from attending the 2006 British Comedy Awards despite his current show, The Thick of It, being a contender for an award.[14] Many industry commentators suggested that the gaoling of Langham would bring an abrupt halt to the actor and writer’s 30-year comedy career, just as it was peaking.[15][16]
        He was released on 14 November 2007 after his sentence was reduced to six months on appeal. Dame Heather Steel, who gave the Appeal Court’s decision, said that the court viewed Langham’s explanation as “highly improbable” but could not actually reject it, although he was still guilty of encouraging “despicable acts” through downloading the pornography.[17] On his release, Langham stated “My life has been ruined but my conscience is clear” and complained that the media “completely ignored” the court’s “acceptance based upon all the evidence and expert opinion that I have no sexual interest in children”.[18]
        [edit]

      • Jarv says :

        What gets to me, though, is that he’s completely unrepentant and blames the British Media for his career stalling. He can fuck off.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        here it is then. I’ve tried to avoid delving into the Langham issue, but I do mention it slightly at the end.

        http://popcultureninja.com/2012/07/26/black-pond-review-guess-whos-dying-at-dinner/

      • Jarv says :

        You can’t avoid it, and you’re right he shouldn’t have been cast.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        I didnt know all of that. I discovered it at all because of something the guardian said a quote and I recall you telling me about him them. the guardian seems strangely sweet on him, and have gone as far as seemingly championing him.

        Again, Ive got nothing for contempt for him, but I did not change my review–except to mildly acknowledge the controversy–because it didnt seem professional for me to go from positive to slag because of that issue.

        I can avoid his work in the future, and he sholdnt have been cast, but to say the movie is garbage or that he did back work in it would have been dishonest.

        I typically steer clear of reviewing stuff like that at all, which is why you won’t see me posting reviews for salva or Polanski, regardless of hype surrounding their movies. He’s on the list now too.

      • Jarv says :

        I know what you’re saying, and I’m also in the “not reviewing” camp for this. I did JC, and struggled like fury to write it impartially.

        If he were the slightest bit repentant that would be different.

      • Jarv says :

        What absolute bollocks:

        As de Winter’s cronies collude to absolve him, a beautiful fire ravages Manderley, representing Rebecca’s rage at being so slandered. The house’s charred remains are the perfect image of a great woman destroyed by smears, stories and sabotage.

        http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2012/jun/17/favourite-hitchcock-film-rebecca-bidisha

      • Droid says :

        I haven’t seen Rebecca, but I don’t think Hitch was really big into symbolic imagery like that.

        Anyhoo, this was funny…

        http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/london-2012-olympics-blog/2012/jul/25/london-2012-team-gb-australia

      • Jarv says :

        He was, but it’s a grotesque misreading of the film. She’s intentionally tried to put a feminist slant on it, but completely ignores the facts.

        I can tell you, but it’s a huge spoiler.

      • Droid says :

        I probably phrased my comment poorly. I intended to accentuate the “like that”. I realise he used symbolic imagery (Psycho is full to the brim with it), but personally, “The house’s charred remains are the perfect image of a great woman destroyed by smears, stories and sabotage.” doesn’t sound like something he’d do. That’s what I meant.

        Don’t tell me. It’s in my Hitch collection. I’ll get around to seeing it at some stage.

      • Jarv says :

        I know what you mean- The Birds is rammed full of it as well, as is Vertigo, and Rear Window.

        That, however, is absolutely unequivocally not what he’s going for there.

        The fucking point, that the dippy cow has missed, is that it isn’t about Rebecca. It’s about the second Mrs. De Winter- she’s the narrator, she’s in basically every scene. It’s her experiences at Manderlay.

        She’s basically been wilfully stupid to fit it to her dogma. Hitch, also, was a pervert and a misogynist, so there’s no way in fuck that he’d raise Rebecca up like that.

      • Jarv says :

        Yeah, they did that at Beijing. Funny.

        Oh, and “Hockeyroos”?

      • Droid says :

        Hockeyroos. Socceroos.

        Kangaroos are awesome. In Australia, Hockey and Soccer have to compete with the popular sports like Aussie Rules, Cricket and Sniff Bum and Run. Any association with something as awesome as a kangaroo can only help boost the image of those sports in the publics eyes. Personally, I’m surprised one of them isn’t called the Skippys.

      • Jarv says :

        It just makes me laugh that almost everything (exceptions to Rugby Union and Cricket) has “roo” in it somewhere.

        You ever seen the clip of Skippy driving a boat? It’s fucking hilarious.

      • Droid says :

        No, but it sounds brilliant. That little fucker can do just about anything.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s properly funny- it shows you the boat from outside, then it cuts to him driving it, and you can see it’s blatantly a guy wearing what’s meant to be kangaroo paws on the wheel. I nearly cried with laughter when I saw it.

      • Jarv says :

        I don’t know whether to approve that pingback thing. Sucker punch blows and I don’t want anyone thinking that we condone it.

      • Droid says :

        What a lousy matchup. Sucker Punch vs Sleeping Beauty.

      • Jarv says :

        I don’t think I could sit through that double bill.

      • Droid says :

        Well, since I couldn’t sit through SP, I can confirm that I can’t sit through the double bill.

      • Jarv says :

        I only barely made it to the end of SP, and I don’t think I can even contemplate the shitfest that is Sleeping Beauty.

      • Droid says :

        Am I making this up, or is Sleeping Beauty about a prostitute who pretends to be asleep while blokes have sex with her?

      • Jarv says :

        Nope. That’s pretty much it.

        She pretends to be asleep and then old men molest her.

      • Droid says :

        The question that immediately springs to mind is… Why is anyone remotely interesting in watching that movie?

      • Jarv says :

        Doubtful. I don’t know I haven’t seen it.

      • Droid says :

        I think you should find out.

      • Jarv says :

        If it’s on Lovefilm, I’ll do it as a gets pissy at. I reckon I can be extremely rude about it.

      • Droid says :

        Okay, I just watched the Cloud Atlas trailer. I have no idea what I just watched but it does look pretty stunning, visually. And it has done what a good trailer is supposed to do and made me interested in seeing the film. No wonder they made a five minute trailer. I don’t think it would have been half as effective with just a standard 2:30 trailer. So… maybe the Wacky’s can live up to their hype.

        I didn’t know Sturgess was in it. I like that guy. He was great in The Way Back.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s inordinately complicated- the story travels up and then down the timeline. Think of it as a relay- each individual section passes the baton on to the next.

      • Droid says :

        Why is tom in two separate times?

        Bah. I may just get the book.

      • Jarv says :

        He isn’t as far as I remember from the Novel- but the second section is the guy reading half the journal and trying to get the other half, so he may be in that as a visualisation.

        The girl from Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance plays Sonmi, which is a great piece of casting. I had Mitsuko from Battle Royale in the role in my head, but that’s not bad.

        Hanks in the film, and in that part, scares the shit out of me. It should have been Ben Kingsley.

      • Jarv says :

        Smeg it. It’s polite, considering she’s put the link on to us. Even if she does think Sucker punch is good.

      • Droid says :

        A few of he guys who did The Castle and The Dish were in a comedy troupe called the D-Generation. For a couple of years during the early 90’s they had a saturday night comedy skit show, which was fucking hilarious. Anyway, one of their ongoing skits was a rip off of Skippy, called Charlie the Wonder Dog. Basically, the dog would just be doing usual dog stuff like sniffing, playing and sleeping, and they’d cut around it with cheesy dialogue pretending that the dog was actually interacting with them. And then you’d get shots where the dog is supposed to be leading them to an injured kid or something and he’s getting pulled through the shot on a rope which he’s struggling against.

        It’s silly, but very funny. Those guys have been great value for over 20 years on Aussie TV and cinema.

      • Jarv says :

        Just watched the Cloud Atlas trailer. Am well on board with that now. The Somni stuff looks superb.

      • Droid says :

        I’ll check it out tonight. Should I read the book before I see the film?

      • Jarv says :

        No. The film is so, so close to the book that it will massively spoil it.

        It’s Fontaine as the Second wife and whoever plays Mrs. Danvers that steal that film. Mrs. Danvers is one of the all-time great monstrous women.

      • Jarv says :

        Wait. Shit.

        Never mind- you meant Cloud Atlas.

        I’ve no idea, to be honest. The book is so complicated I don’t think it’ll help

      • Droid says :

        I did mean Cloud Atlas. Didn’t realise Rebecca was a book.

      • Jarv says :

        Very famous opening line:

        “Last night I dreamt I went to Maderlay again”

        It’s actually nastier than the film. The key bit in it is far more sadistic.

    • Droid says :

      ST is crap? That’s a big disappointment then.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        its just people shooting bugs. feels like a demo for a video game. none of the humor or OTT satirical stuff of the film. It also doesn’t have the inherent soldier drama of Heinlein and despite some early stuff that made me think it would feature closely to the book, but its mostly a humorless, static follow-up to the film, with the Poledouris music and Rico and Ibanez and what not coming back.

        It’s got that gloomy cgi look of stuff like Final Fantasy Spirits Within and mostly feels like a video game. It’s just kind of there. Marauder was better.

      • Jarv says :

        Wasted opportunity. I want ST4 goddamnit. Proper Rico story.

  37. Echo the Bunnyman says :

    could one of you blokes grab the embed code for the cloud atlas trailer? its blocked here, but I want to post it to PCN.

    • Jarv says :

      iframe width=”560″ height=”315″ src=”http://www.youtube.com/embed/0G2wVGrQWbM” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen></iframe

      with pointy brackets obviously.

  38. Jarv says :

    You know who we haven’t seen in ages? Morbi and TKD

  39. Droid says :

    I just watched the Cloud Atlas trailer in 1080p, and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s either going to be one of the best films of the year, or one of the worst. There’s no middle ground. Although if it’s one of the worst, it will be the best looking terrible film ever made.

    • tombando says :

      Agreed there Droid. It has some real potential. Kinda has this expensive Time Bandits feel to it.

    • Echo the Bunnyman says :

      its giving me Fountain flashbacks. I loved that movie, so I’m in. But I agree. It’s going to be something brilliant/transcendent. Or its going to be Southland Tales.

    • Jarv says :

      Got to agree. I’m stoked for it- I thought it was unfilmable

    • koutchboom says :

      Well if Speed Racer showed anything The Wahowski siblings can handle multiple stories going on at the same time very well, but don’t you all hate Speed?

      And I’m thinking I will love it and the rest of you won’t get it.

      • Jarv says :

        Cloud Atlas doesn’t work like Speed Racer at all.

        Thankfully.

        I didn’t hate Speed Racer for being multiple stories, I hated it for being terrible horseshit and inducing motion sickness in me.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        wait, how was speed racer multiple plotlines going on at the same time? Wasnt it mostly just Speed doing his thing, and Racer X following in the shadows–at the race scene they get seperated a few times–but I’d not argue those were really mutiple plotlines, more like the same plotline with a few different perspectives.

        The Matrix sequels come to mind as examples of multiple plotlines, although in the third film I dont think they were balanced particularly well.

      • koutchboom says :

        The first 30 or so minutes of Speed are two story lines going on at the same time, Speed as a kid and Speed today which I foresee Cloud being 3 hours of.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        I see what you are saying, although cloud atlas as a book isnt like that… I think they will have to intertwine them a bit more for movie purposes.

        In Speed it’s more like a clever transition…you have the prologue in the past, and then a transition into present–not two stories really running parallel.

        I do like speed racer, but I dont think the wachowskis have really proven themselves adept at that yet for my tastes.

        No matter, I do think tykwer is better suited to that kind of direction, and he’s ultimately at the helm here.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah I’m interested in seeing the breakdown of it all.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yo did you jew see 3?

  40. Droid says :

    Benefits of working from home #1.

    Watching Hawthorn thump their arch rival by 80 points.

  41. Droid says :

    Correction: 90.

  42. Droid says :

    You’d be pissed in about 20 minutes!

    Opening Ceremony Drinking Game

    Click to embiggen.

  43. lordbronco says :

    It’s time for the Bloody Olympics-you guys should hire this guy to be your new Prime Minister: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWvS03qRrtM&feature=plcp

  44. Continentalop says :

    Just posting “BAM! POW! ZAP! Holy MMA Batman! The Martial Arts of the Dark Knight – Part 3” for anyone remotely interested.

    http://www.bloodyelbow.com/2012/7/27/3171423/holy-mma-batman-martial-arts-dark-knight-part3

  45. Jarv says :

    OK- Weekend roundup:

    • Bulletproof– not as bad as made out to be. There are about two funny scenes.
    • Possession– awful, fuck you Gwynnie
    • Robin Hood– complete and utter shit.
    • The Prestige– Good
    • Seabiscuit– hideous.
    • Ghostbusters 2– underrated
    • Mummy 3– meh
    • Let Me In– Much better than anticipated, and the move to the 80’s is clever. Better than the original in some places, particularly the bullying, not as good in others. No CGI cats, so well done there.Worth a look if you’ve left enough time between adaptations pass, but it’s still kind of pointless

    I’m sure there were others, but can’t remember them.

    Also played a lot of Bioshock 2. Climbing the rankings again.

    ,

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      You know I don’t want to say I told you so but when I defended LMI I was roundly castigated.

      • Jarv says :

        Yup.

        Don’t get me wrong, it’s still almost completely pointless, but if the original didn’t exist then it would be a very solid film- if a touch uninspired.

        They’ve both got strengths and weaknesses. I did like how they were clever with things like colour scheme to distinguish it- well thought out if a bit of a waste of time.

        I am NOT on board with New Hammer at all. They’ve so far done Let Me In (pointless), The Resident (hateful shit), Woman in Black (OK). This is not an inspiring round up. I think they may also have done the Wicker Tree, which I really want to see.

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      Oh and I watched GB2 last week and I agree its quite a good sequel very funny. Don’t care for the Prestige myself but they did manage to improve on the books ending which was just plain bad.

      • Jarv says :

        I still didn’t like the end particularly. So bale let his twin die? Nice of him, then cloned another one using the electricity? It’s muddled as hell.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        yep but the book was worse and about as clear as mud decent read up till then. I really liked how they focused on the science of the illusions in the book, the real ones, not the cloning device.

      • Droid says :

        It’s been a while since I’ve seen The Prestige, but as far as I can remember, Bale didn’t use tech. The act he and his twin lived was that he was only one person. So whenever the trick was performed, it would just be the other twin.

        I could be wrong. I might watch it again.

    • Droid says :

      Disagree with you on a number of these.

      Bulletproof – As bad as made out to be. There are no funny scenes.
      Possession – Haven’t seen it.
      Robin Hood (I’m guessing the Rusty one) – Great.
      The Prestige – Decent.
      Seabiscuit – Great.
      Ghostbusters 2 – Shit.
      Mummy 3 – Shit.
      Let Me In – Haven’t seen it.

      • Droid says :

        On the weekend I watched…

        Any Questions for Ben, from the makers of The Castle and The Dish, and I was very, very, very disappointed. I was going to kick off an Aussie series with it, but that’ll be a bad way to start.

        Lee Hulk. Great.

      • Droid says :

        And Legend of the Guardians. Good film. Snyders best by a long stretch. And the animation is superb.

      • Jarv says :

        Robin Hood was boring, drab, and not Robin Hood in the slightest. I stand by my original statement- why make a film about Robin Hood and then not be remotely about Robin Hood, and there were annoying inaccuracies in it- Loxley is nowhere near Nottingham, for example. Yes, Sherwood Forrest goes from Notts to South Yorkshire (my parents bought me up on the very edge of it- Whitely Woods), but fuck me, can you not get even the simple things right?

        Liked Mark Addy, hated Blanchett (who’s accelerating up my list of hated actresses at a rate of knots).

        Going to find the monkey on it, because I wholly agree with him

      • Droid says :

        The monkey?

      • Jarv says :

        Frank-

        Robin Hood – Cack. A couple of entertaining scenes, but not enough to make up for it not really being about Robin Hood, or for all the hair-pullingly boring Star Wars prequel-ish bits where people talk about politics and taxes and fake English history.

        Only recommended to people who want to see a dull prelude to the proper Robin Hood story (you know, the fun one, where he robs from the rich and gives to the poor), or maybe people who want to be reminded of how awesome Centurion is. Centurion poops on Robin Hood from a great height.

        I totally agree with him.

      • Jarv says :

        this too:

        You have to at least adhere to the core of what the character is – an outlaw who fights against oppression by stealing from rich folks – or it’s simply not Robin Hood. The same way it would not be Batman if Bruce Wayne didn’t fight colourful criminals dressed in a bat costume.

        This is a film about a soldier who pretends to be someone else and then becomes a general to help the King fight off a French invasion. Not Robin Hood.

        A wise monkey indeed.

      • Jarv says :

        Man, Blanchett is on a shitty fucking streak:

        Since LotR-

        Hanna (good)
        The Last Time I saw Michael Gregg (never heard of)
        Robin Hood (shite)
        Benjamin Button (shite)
        Indy 4 (shite)
        Ponyo (worst of Miyazaki film)
        Elizabeth the Golden Age (Orangutan of Doom- almost beyond awful)
        Notes on a Scandal (hate the book, so refuse to watch)
        The Good German (*cough* Oscar Bait *cough* refuse to watch)
        Babel (shite)
        Little Fish (never heard of)
        The Aviator (shite)

      • Droid says :

        Hanna (great)
        The Last Time I saw Michael Gregg (unseen)
        Robin Hood (great)
        Benjamin Button (shite)
        Indy 4 (okay)
        Ponyo (unseen)
        Elizabeth the Golden Age (Orangutan of Doom- almost beyond awful)
        Notes on a Scandal (unseen)
        The Good German (unseen)
        Babel (unseen)
        Little Fish (unseen)
        The Aviator (shite)

      • Jarv says :

        I’ll lend you Ponyo- it’s Japanese Little Mermaid. OK, but not worth writing home about.

        And I didn’t like the last LotR either. Were it not for Hanna, that’s a pretty goddamn unimpressive list.

      • Jarv says :

        Moving on from Robin Hood, because this is going down Foo Yung Hulk/ Inception/ Salt lines where we’ll never agree-

        I’ve not seen Seabiscuit for years. I remembered disliking it at the time, but I actively hated it this go. Macey and Bridges were good, but Maguire was awful, and it’s so transparently sugar-laced and manipulative with Maguire’s last speech “He healed all of us” leaping to mind- that even Mrs. Jarv was taking the piss out of it.

        This weekend is an object lesson to me about the dangers of taking it in turns on the movie selections.

      • Droid says :

        Moving on from Robin Hood, maybe, but not from the disagreements. I love Seabiscuit. I’ve seen it a few times and I think it’s great.

      • Jarv says :

        Yes- I thought we’d move on to a new disagreement. I’m surprised at that, because don’t you normally come down on films that are openly manipulative like this?

        It’s so goddamned Mawkish, although to be fair, I knew this and was just unlucky that it was the wife’s turn. She was cross with me for Robin Hood, though. I did really like Macey this time, thought he was so much better than the film in what is a pretty generic part.

        It was better than Possession, which was truly, truly boring.

        In other news:

        Epic fail from AIFN:

        I have to admit that I also fear the deluge of young filmmakers who mail in asking for a post on their no-budget Kickstarter in the few instances I’ve posted about one

        So, basically, you won’t support these crowdsourced films. While I’m not sure Before the Mask is a great idea, I could be talked into watching this very easily as I love the first one.

        http://www.aintitcool.com/node/57306

      • Droid says :

        It’s basically a sports movie. And I’m a sucker for sports movies.

        I haven’t seen Possession. I like LaBute a lot, and I tried to watch it once, but turned it off fairly quickly.

      • Jarv says :

        Don’t continue. It’s mildly interesting until Gwynnie steps in with her patented British Accent™ Then it shoots itself in the foot by trying to run the history simultaneously with Eckhart and Gwynnie’s story.

        Actually, it’s a good example of what can go wrong with Cloud Atlas.

        On Seabiscuit- I think it’s Maguire’s last speech. It’s horrible.

      • Droid says :

        Well it’s good for him that he can have his opinion backed up I guess. Anyhoo, I liked it a lot. Complaining about accuracies in a film based on a fantasy is like kicking a dead dog. Rather pointless and more trouble than it’s worth.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s not totally based on a fantasy. Loxley is a real place, Robin was a real guy, loads of it is documented. Sure, there’s a legend that’s grown up, but why replace the historical bits that we know happened with utter horseshit? This- for example:

        The film climaxes with a French invasion on England’s Dover Beach, opposed by an English army. In the midst of the chaos, Marian attempts to kill Godfrey but he gains the upper hand over her and prepares to kill her. However, Robin intervenes and duels Godfrey himself. The English are victorious and Godfrey attempts to flee on horseback, but Robin shoots an arrow, from long distance, which pierces straight through Godfrey’s neck. When King John sees the French surrendering to Robin rather than to himself, he senses a major threat to his power.

        Anyway you cut it this is a gross abuse of both history and the legend. It actually pissed me off quite a lot.

        I don’t mind reinventing him, indeed have derek the squire take over the role, that’s fine with me, but for fuck’s sake don’t replace it with something staggeringly boring- or some utterly imaginary nonsense that’s less interesting than the legend. I, actually, really like the idea of someone else taking the name, because it’s always struck me as absurd that a minor noble in the 14th Century would become some kind of outlaw philanthropist, and that would neatly explain it.

        They should have done Nottingham as planned.

    • Echo the Bunnyman says :

      I made this same mistake first time through, but the first LMI was set in the 80s too. It was just an 80s we recognize in the remake. I too was reamed for liking the remake, but while you could say its ‘pointless’, it was entertaining and handled many of the elements better in my book.

      • Jarv says :

        As well handled as bits of it are, and full credit for getting rid of the scarring etc- there’s absolutely no reason for it to exist. It’s basically identical to the Swedish one.

        It’s been years between them for me- but if I’d seen the Swedish one recently, then I’d have turned it off.

  46. Jarv says :

    This weeks reviews-

    because I was lazy over the weekend, I’ve got to get a move on again to get ahead

    So today’s is up, tomorrow is The Thing, Wednesday is Underworld 4, Thursday (Lovefilm do have it) is going to be Sleeping Beauty, unless I like it, but I can’t see that. Friday will be Honky Tonk Freeway, Saturday will be Schock, Sunday Rich Kids (dreading this) and Monday Coma to finish the Birthday series. This is all moveable depending on what else I watch in the way of garbage. Then I’m going to schedule the Return of the Living Dead Series, instead of redoing all of them, I’m going to do a synopsis of the first 3, and then 4 and 5.

    After that, dunno, but I’ll do another Lovefilm experiment because it’s changed again, and see from there.

    • Echo the Bunnyman says :

      regarding wicker tree…not Hammer, not good, and the very definition of truly ‘pointless’. LMI was not necessary, but I think earned a place by being good. WT will just piss you off:

      http://popcultureninja.com/2012/05/16/the-wicker-tree-review-stereotypical-lambs-to-slaughter/

      • Jarv says :

        Oh. Shite.

        Why did I think it was Hammer.

        I’ve got Revenge: A love story at home to watch. Have you seen that?

      • Jarv says :

        Regardless of the quality of it, there was absolutely nothing at all that warranted it being remade, other than that they saw an International hit that people too lazy to read subtitles didn’t want to see. It’s cynical, and while I commend everyone involved with it for at least making it solid, it seems to me to be an utter waste of time and resources.

        Watching it hasn’t changed my opinion on it one iota.

      • Jarv says :

        Basically, given enough time between them, LMI and LTROI are good adaptations of the same source. Both have strengths and weaknesses.

        I’ve just discovered LTROI’s UK release was 24th August at Frightfest- although the proper release in most places was Summer 2009- therefore it’s a remake less than one year after the original!

        By any measure, that’s fucking cynical.

      • Jarv says :

        And looking at it- Global Box Office: $24m. Budget $20m.

        LTROI, on the other hand: $4.5m for an $11.2m take.

        So it even fails as a cash in- released far, far too close to the original.

        This cheers me up, actually, as that means that the amount of people that won’t put up with subtitles is dropping and LTROI basically didn’t get an American release.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        well, your opinion changed in the quality of the movie..this other tirade is an opinon that wasn’t likely to be changed…it’s a perspective. It’s not like I or anyone else saw LMI and suddenly said ‘hot damn, lets remake ALL foreign movies’. Well, no one outside the Hollywood suit system that it is.

      • Jarv says :

        To be fair, I’m cross with the system, and the film is symptomatic.

        I didn’t have an opinion on the quality of it- all I said was that it was a needless remake. It’s better than it has any right being, but that basically hasn’t changed.

        I’d have turned it off if I’d seen it anywhere near to LTROI- it’s that close.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        yea, Im not advocating people do this. Essentially, as a critic I had to review it, and my review was based around the quality…looking back at my review, I essentially said it also had no reason to exist.

        What should have happened is Matt Reeves, had he wanted to direct a vampire movie, should have either a) written his own or b) looked for an unfilmed book property that was actually good.I wish he (or someone else) had tackled The Moth Diaries.

        Instead, that ended up a waste too.

      • Jarv says :

        I’ve never heard of The Moth Diaries.

        Reeves was basically a gun for hire- Hammer wanted the original Swedish director to do it- which would have made it even more pointless.

        Looking at the first 5 films they did-

        Beyond the Rave was basically a youtube promo.
        Let Me In was the launch- loss of $8m
        The Resident was the second- and STV
        Wake Wood was the third- very limited release.
        The Woman in Black was the last.

        They had an initial budget of $50m, and split it between these 4 films- so they needed to basically secure the future of the company to keep producing, so they went for the blandest bloody things they could. The result- Woman in Black made a whopping $128m off $15m.

        That’s pre-DVD, so they’re probably miles in the black. I’d like to know where to next for them- they’re secure now, so can hopefully be a bit braver than that pretty uninspiring line up.

      • Jarv says :

        To put that into usual context-

        That means that Hammer, pre DVD numbers are a massive $70m in the black. Which means that they’ve now got more to play with than they had on initial investment- in under three years they scored an over 200% return. That’s fucking stupendous.

        They’ve also got the back catalogue and “new” catalogue generating revenue- they’re set.

        The Quiet Ones is next, and I’ve no idea what it’s about- I suspect it’s another ghost story though.

      • Jarv says :

        Shite-

        Inspired by true events, The Quiet Ones tells the story of an unorthodox professor who uses controversial methods and leads his best students off the grid to take part in a dangerous experiment: to create a poltergeist. Based on the theory that paranormal activity is cause by human negative energy, the rogue scientists perform a series of tests on a young patient, pushing her to the edge of sanity. As frightening occurrences begin to take place with shocking and gruesome consequences, the group quickly realizes they have triggered a force more terrifying than they ever could have imagined.

        Director wrote a lot of crap including Ghost Ship, Rollerball and so forth. He did direct Quarantine 2, which was better than expected.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        vampires in all-girls boarding school Jarv, taking the piss out of the Bronte sisters…

        http://popcultureninja.com/2012/04/21/the-moth-diaries-review-vamp-in-a-girls-boarding-school/

      • Jarv says :

        Speedman as a teacher???????

        That’s so bizarre it sounds hilarious.

      • Jarv says :

        Wooooooooo!

        Fucking YES!

        A remake I’ve been asking for: Gaslight! It’s Hammer- and it’s the same team behind WiB. What’s not so good, is that the predictable WiB sequel is also announced. That’s bad.

        BAD HAMMER.

      • Jarv says :

        Man, I fucking love Gaslight.

        I love the original film, I fucking love the stage version, and I haven’t seen it in ages.

        This is a perfect example of a property to remake- no cunt cares about it because it’s so old, and it’s cheap, riddled with suspense and right overdue an update. Furthermore, it fits right in with Hammer’s period aspirations.

        Get in!

        Unless it’s this.

        Which will piss me off.

      • Jarv says :

        I want it doing like the play for the most part.

        Cast Radcliffe against type as the husband, and if either Evigan or Harris can do an English Accent then get them as the wife.

        Then I want some proper RSC level thesp talent as the Inspector- maybe someone like Jacobi.

        Fucking awesome. This could be atmospheric as hell, and I hope nobody can remember the twist to it. Don’t, for fuck’s sake, TP it though.

        I’m almost giddy with excitement at the possibilities for this.

      • Jarv says :

        Mind you, I feel sorry for any actress that takes that part, considering Ingrid Bergman did it originally.

        Sam Reilly would be good as the Husband as well. I don’t want a physically intimidating geezer in the role.

        Disastrous casting:

        Knightly as the wife, The Stath as the Husband.

      • Jarv says :

        This reminds me.

        New list- Remakes we actually want:

        1) Gaslight

        Any suggestions-

      • Droid says :

        2) Spiderman

        Think they should do the origin this time.

      • Jarv says :

        3) Superman.

        4) Wolverine

        We need more origin stories

      • Droid says :

        Never heard of it.

      • Jarv says :

        Gaslight?

        It’s from 1946, I think- Stars Ingrid Bergman.

        She’s a new wife in a flat in London in the 19th Century. She may or may not be going insane. Any more is spoiling.

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